Time sinking

Fast moving

Link sharing

Focus busting,

Target setting

Mood shifting

Thirst quenching

Motivating,

Fast moving

Cool buzzing

Hash tag spinning

Exasperating,

Awe inspiring

Smile inducing

Friendship building

Inspirating:

Twitter.

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With sincere apologies to the ’70s (?) Pepsi advert for the inspiration (?)

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For more on the hows and whys of Twitter:

Why It’s Worth Sticking with Twitter

Why I Talk About the Weather on Twitter

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Follow me on Twitter @joannayoung

I came across this quote on Twitter the other day.

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love~LaoTzu

It made me think in a different way about confidence and writing. About how much kindness is an essential part of the mix.

Kindness in words creates confidence in others.

Kindness in words creates confidence in your self.

Writing with kindness is not hard. There’s no critic that stands in our way. Writing with kindness just means holding kindness in our hearts, and writing with the intention to share it.

Simple, isn’t it?

Kindness in words creates confidence.

Real humility is not denying the gifts you are offered; it is accepting them. – Alan Cohen

Where do the apologies that creep into our writing come from?

Thinking about that as I was writing the pieces on apologising, and reading your comments and feedback, I kept on coming back to fear.

That fear comes in many guises (and you probably have your own home-made version):

• Fear that you’re not an authority

• Fear that you’re not justified in the opinions you express

• Fear that you’ll be found out

• Fear that you’re not good enough

• Fear of criticism

• Fear of the bright lights of success

• Fear of the sound of your own voice

Those fears creep into our writing.  Get us to tone it down and tune it out.  Diminish what it is we’re trying to say.

Learning to change the words can help.  It gets you into the habit of writing with confidence, and listening to yourself speaking with confidence, clarity and kindness.

But there’s more to it than the words.  The words are reflecting the inner state.  And that means looking for answers beyond words.

Here are ten things that work for me (indulge me, you know I love numbered lists):

1. Set an intention

Focusing on your purpose rather than your words is a great way to get round the inner critic.  Think about the difference you want to make with your writing – something that’s more powerful than the gremlins can ever be.  Don’t fall into the trap of setting an intention that feels like another ’should’ (should write something meaningful, should write something powerful and inspiring).

Look for a purpose that makes you feel light, excited, motivated… and gets your fingers tingling, ready to type.  (For example, but don’t take my words or they’ll just become shoulds…to share something beautiful you’ve found, to express gratitude, to make someone smile.)

2. Manage your state before you write

It’s really hard to write with warmth, power, levity, authority, confidence… if you’re not feeling that way.  Get into the habit of managing your state before you start to write.  Get into the right frame of mind before you start – whether that’s music, reading, exercise, watching a youtube video or lighting a candle… find what works for you and do it.

3. Listen to the music of your words

Learning to recognise the pattern, rhythm, melody and yes music of your words will help you to love your own writing.  It will start to delight you.  It’s part of finding your own sweet spot, and recognising that it’s okay (and maybe even necessary) for you to share it.

Here’s more on sweet spots, tooting sweetly and recognising your own music:

Of all the values I teach, the toughest one for people is ha‘aha‘a, the value of humility. People don’t really get it. What most people consider ‘being humble’ to be, is actually a cop-out of being uninvolved, where they are less engaged in the guise of not stepping on someone’s toes, being shy and hesitant, and not tooting their own horn when their music would actually sound wonderfully melodic and sweet if they did. Folks, you need to toot away!

4. Go outside

Observe nature.  How does she do it?  Learn from that.

5. Go inside

Write, journal, reflect.  Going inside helps us work out what’s going on, what matters, what our values are (and why we want to pass them on.)  Think about standing deeper inside rather than the sense of exposure you worry about when  you focus on the outside (more on this here: Stand Out and Stand In)

When we “Stand Out,” or when we “step out” into what we want, what we’re actually doing is moving deeper inward. In fact, I’d wager to say that the inward movement is required in order to hold our center.

6. Find words that light your fire

These words from Marianne Williamson do it for many people, including me.  She hits the nail on the head when she talks about the fear of our power.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

7. Encourage others

One of the great things about blogging (the interactive sort, that includes reading and commenting) is that you get into the habit of writing positively.  Giving positive and constructive feedback, with the aim of encouraging and supporting others.  Reading and recognising the power of other people’s words – what kinds of things resonate, what has spirit, what can teach you something.  It all adds to the confidence mix.

8. Practice writing with confidence

Look for ways to edit out the apologies and write in the confidence.  Working on the language can help you do it bit by bit.  And the more you write with confidence (and hear it ringing truly from your words) the more you’ll start to feel that way.  It’s a virtuous circle

9. Check your sources

Your apprehension has probably kicked in because you’re going out of your comfort zone.

It might be a signal from your unconscious mind that something’s not right – and that you need to check something again, or learn something new first, or research another element, or rewrite so it’s more accurate.  In which case: check your sources thoroughly before you publish and send.

Or it might ‘just’be those niggling fears of not being good enough that are getting in the way.

In which case: check your sources.  (Your intention, the inspiration you get from the natural world, the words that light you fire…)

10. Go for it

Who are you not to?

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How have you learned to write without apology?  What made the biggest difference?  What’s the biggest difference you still want to make?

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This is the third in a series on apologetic writing.  Other posts in the series:

Stop Apologising (for the things you’ve never done)

5 Simple Ways to Power Up Your Writing

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Linked Reading:

How to become a fire breathing writing dragon ~ Joanna Young

How purpose beats the inner critic ~ Joanna Young

Stand Out and Stand In ~ Christine Kane

Toot Sweetly: Create Your Own Distinction ~ Rosa Say

Alan Cohen quote found on Twitter

“”Begin at the beginning,”, the King said, very gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop” ~ Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

I could probably share 500 ways to power up your writing, never mind 5… but then I’d be ignoring my own opening line.  So I’m going to keep it simple.

Partly because this is a blog post, not a book (and there are plenty of books out there that will help).

But partly because there’s only so much writing advice you can take in at any one time.  And sometimes the more advice you absorb the more confused you get, and the less confident (and more apologetic) your writing becomes.

So keeping it simple, here are 5.

1. Open and Close

Start with a clear, confident opening sentence.

Finish the same way.

See if you can do the same thing within sections, even within paragraphs.

If it seems like too much of a leap to do that straight away, keep writing the way you normally do, and edit the change in later.  Ease your way into the text with the explanations, the introductions, the justifications and yes, even the apologies.  You might find it an easier way to get started.  Just make sure you go back and cut them out again later

2. Activate

Writing in the active voice will help you:

• cut excess words
• get clear on who’s doing what
• make your writing more readable
• avoid long sentences and complex grammar
• inject confidence into your writing

It’s an easy, simple and effective way to cut excess weight from your writing and make it sound more confident.  Instantly.

Trouble is, you might be over-using the passive without realising it.

And you might not know one when you see one… or have any idea what to do when you find it.

If that sounds like you…

Look for resources (books, articles, guides) on how to write in plain English.  I’ve listed some below.

Listen to your spellchecker.  A Word spellchecker will pick up most passives and ask you if you want to change them.  The suggested changes might be gobbledegook and you don’t need to accept their version – just use it as a prompt to have another look at your sentence and see if you can change it to the active voice.

Ask for help. Ask someone else to read your work – a colleague, a friend, someone whose writing style you enjoy – and ask them to help you hunt for passives.  They might be able to notice  a pattern that you can no longer see.

Once you know what you’re looking for and just want to shift the habit:

Spend a bit more time on the editing of your work.  Focus on shifting from passive to active.  Notice the difference it makes: how much clearer and lighter your words are.

Enjoy the positive feedback you get (People might well start saying ‘well done’ or that they enjoyed a piece of work without necessarily knowing why).

Don’t beat yourself up about still writing that way: focus on the editing after the event and trust that your writing style will adjust over time once you get used to reading your own more confident writing voice.

Caveat: cutting passives doesn’t mean you need to get rid of all of them.  Sometimes a phrase will have a totally different (and incorrect) meaning in the active voice.  You want to get to a point where you’re comfortable writing and re-writing in different ways, and then choosing the version that works best for you and your intention.  (That way you remain active as the subject of the writing verb too )

3. Cut with Confidence

Bold beginnings and endings can look stark.  We add extra words to soften them – and sometimes that’s precisely what we need to do in order to establish rapport, engage with our readers and make the kind of connections that will encourage them to read on.

But extra words are habit forming and can quickly become clutter.  In a business writing setting every unnecessary word soaks up somebody else’s time and mental energy.

Think how much energy you waste wading through vague and cluttered writing. How good would it feel to read something clear, confident, that got straight to the point?  Hold that feeling in your mind as you cut.  Do it with good intention: to make life easier for your reader, to help them get to the point.

4. One Thing at a Time

If you’re starting to feel swamped by advice on what to do: reel back.  Pick one thing.  Focus on that.  Keep practicing until it becomes a natural part of your writing muscle.

5. Ramp Up or Damp Down

We can’t just write ‘the point’ and hope people will get it.  The art and craft of writing means leading your reader to get there with you: to get it, to hear what you’re saying, to see it, to feel it with every fibre of their being.

If you cut too many words you won’t be able to do that.  You need some words that look like padding to create connections, to develop rapport, to emphasise a point, to build momentum.

The trick is to get a feel for those which are adding to your overall effect – and those which are taking away.

There isn’t a grammar rule for this, but a feeling you need to develop when you’re editing your work.

Focus on your purpose again.  The difference you want to make, the truth you want to tell.  Think about that when you’re editing.  Do the ‘extra’ words take away from that message?  Diminish it slightly, or cast doubt in your reader’s mind, or apologise for troubling them with the idea in the first place?

Or do the words add momentum, energy, power and conviction?

Do they help your readers know what it is you really want to say?

~~~

This is the second post in a series looking at ways to stop being apologetic in your writing.

I’d gathered quite a lot of resources while I was researching the topic which I’ll happily share here.  If any of you have any particularly good resources on how to hunt for and get rid of the passive voice please do let me know and I’ll add them to my collection (and the list)

Cutting, Clarity and Confidence

Write Like a Black Belt (guest post by Lori Hoek)

20 ways to cut your words and help to save the planet

KISS excess words goodbye

The day you became a better writer (Dilbert blog)

Passive

A Tip on Passive Verbs (Lynn Gaertner-Johnston)

No Place for Passive Verbs (ditto)

Passive voice (very useful free handout from University of North Carolina Writing Centre)

Business Writing Tips

Manage Your Writing (blog with weekly writing tips)

Manage Your Writing (very useful free pdf download)

Plain English Writing Tips (compilation of tips from yours truly, $10)

How Not to Write: An Office Primer for the Grammatically Perplexed (my plain English bible)

One of the defining features of confident writing is that it’s not apologetic.

Yes, I know it’s good to signal that you’re human, that you’re not perfect, that you have doubts and concerns and things you’re insecure about just like the next person. That’s part of being engaging, warm, human. It’s part of making connections, and writing with rapport.

But we can take that too far, to a point where the writing starts to become apologetic. I seem to have been doing battle with this over the last few weeks, and I’ve been jotting down some thoughts on its various guises:

8 Tell-Tale Signs that You’re Being Over Apologetic:

1. Your writing is littered with verbs in the passive voice (and I don’t just mean a few, I mean littered)

2. There’s an explicit apology in the text (when there isn’t anything to apologise for)

3. You spend as many words justifying what you’re saying as saying it

4. There are too many words: too much wrapping, too many abstract words, too much clutter, all getting in the way of the bit that really matters (the point)

5. You explain what you’re going to do long before you actually do it

6. Your sentences have come out back to front, with the important stuff (the agent, the verb) languishing away at the end

7. You dole out the apologies elsewhere, in the preamble to a post or on Twitter, managing expectations down

8. There’s a missing punch: you’ve backed away before you got to the killer blow, the repetition for effect, the slowing down to an unavoidably measured, significant pace, the delivery of the emotional truth. The ker-pow that you recognise when you read it (and when you write it)

I’m going to explore some ways to shift from apologetic to confident writing in the next couple of posts: one on ways to manage and shift your state before you write (and as you write), the other on changing some of the language patterns you might have got over familiar with.

It’s worth making the effort.  If you can cut out the apologies you’ll find:

• Your writing is easier to read
• You avoid long and complex sentences (and the grammar gremlins that go with them)
• You convey confidence in your subject
• Your writing makes you start to feel more confident
• You stop diminishing what it is that you really want to say

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For any Jam fans out there, yes, the title is from A Town Called Malice, one of my favourite teenage songs.  Once I got the idea to write something on apologising I just couldn’t get the song out of my head again.

Here it is:

Autumn is revealing herself in all her glory in Scotland just now.

I can’t help but notice, wonder, pay attention… and also look for patterns, meaning, and significance.

Uploading photos from the weekend I had the idea to share some questions that are inspired by the change in the season.

It’s an experiment… do let me know how it works.  And if there are any responses to the questions in relation to your own writing that you’d like to share, the comment box is ready and waiting for you

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Where does the strength lie in your words?

What patterns can you see?

How is the seed revealing itself?

Where is the colour, and how can you add more of it?

What do you need to finish before the season turns?

What do you want to let go of?

Whether that’s an old story, habits that don’t work any more, fears that are standing in your way, the clutter of words that are disguising what you really want to say… what can you allow to fall?

~~~

As a postscript, if one of the things you want to let fall is a fear of sharing some of your work, here’s something that might help.  Amy Palko has just launched an online creativity circle providing a supportive environment to share something creative.  It doesn’t have to be writing – could be photos, something you’ve made, a collage – only limit is your imagination!  You can find out more here: Do You Dare?

PPS If you’re interested in 1:1 coaching with me you can find out more about how it works and how you can sign up here

Believing in taking my own writing medicine, I’ve written some words that I hope reflect the spirit of essential writing: writing that matters, words that count, writing that comes from the heart.

It’s a prose poem inspired by my mother.  It’s published today at Joyful Jubilant Learning:

What If? A Birthday Prose Poem

If you’re curious please do pop over and have a read of it.

I’m hopelessly behind responding to your amazing comments, not least the comments on how to find time to respond to comments Thank you everyone for your contributions, I’ve been thinking about all of them and will reply as soon as I can.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Some things I’ve been reading online recently that have been helping to shape my understanding of what essential writing means:

(They’re a bit of a mixed bag, but that’s the thread that connects them together…)

The Power of Words And Writing

A good news publishing story from the fabulous author Emma Newman, including reflections on the power of setting out your intention in writing.  As Emma says, it’s a wonderful example of how writing changes things.

I didn’t realise that six month post was so powerful, but every time I flagged since I wrote it, the memory of that intent kept me going.

See the Angel Beside You

This is a gripping read from Patti Digh demonstrating so many aspects of what I’d call essential writing: clear, simple language; storytelling; a powerful message; a tale that comes from the heart… and makes a difference to those that read it.

Here’s a taste:

I hoped the seat would stay empty. I couldn’t imagine making small talk. Instead, a tall young man with a big jacket sat down, immediately smothering me. I held my book in my lap to distract myself: “The Devil’s Highway” by Luis Urrea. He said, “that book looks interesting,” and I nodded without committing to an answer, wanting to return to my hot internal obsession about my future–or lack of it. He stood up and took his jacket off, making me feel a little less claustrophobic in the small space beside him.

“Can I tell you something?” he asked. I turned to face him. “Sure,” I said, slowly.

“I am terrified,” he said quietly.

A Planet Without Flowers?

Ulla Hennig reminds us that you can sometimes convey a most powerful message with the simplest of mediums: a photograph, and one line of text.

Brave New Worlds

Janice Cartier reflects on her blogging journey and how the commitment to writing practice can help you find your voice.

I thought to myself, “Just do it, improve it as you go. Be present, show up and give it your best shot in that moment.” Just like in the studio. It still gives me big butterflies in my stomach. But here’s the funny thing about practicing, about setting out on a course of practice.

It can lead to discovery.

Discovery of one’s voice.

Stand Out and Stand In

A great post from Christine Kane on times when we need to stand ‘in’ to stand out.

When we “Stand Out,” or when we “step out” into what we want, what we’re actually doing is moving deeper inward. In fact, I’d wager to say that the inward movement is required in order to hold our center.

So, it might look like Standing Out. In the spotlight, into clarity, in a bigger playing field.

But what you’re really doing is Standing In. Deeper within yourself. Centering your intentions. Grounded in awareness.

I don’t know about you, but for me that’s a big part of what writing allows me to do.  Stand deeper within myself, more centred and grounded.

What have you been reading recently that you’d describe as essential writing?

Quality content + regular posting + engaging style + social media engagement = increase in readers

Increase in readers + quality content + regular posting + enaging style + social media engagement = increase in comments, community, conversation

= blogging success

(In some people’s eyes)

Increase in comments = feedback + ideas + inspiration + motivation

Feedback + ideas + inspiration + motivation = regular supply of engaging posts = increase in readers + increase in participation + increase in comments

Increase in comments = more time to respond

Increase in time to respond = less time to write, read, create, play, live

Hmmm.

We need to do something to that equation.

But changing the formula = what?

The options unfold.  Different bloggers approach the challenge in different ways.  (I’ve seen them.  Even seen some people stop.)  What might be possible?

Answer comments in batches.

Stop replying to comments.

Switch commenting off.

Write in a way that doesn’t invite and engage.

Post less.

Each option changes the dynamic.  Changes the relationship between you and your reader.  Or changes the relationship between you and your blog.

It’s a question I’m working with just now as I find myself getting later and later in responding to your comments, and feeling bad about it at times, but also loving, cherishing, the comments you leave and the opportunity that presents for us to connect and engage and for me to learn a little more about how you are writing with confidence.

And I know I don’t want to stop replying to each of those comments with kindness and care.

But I also know that the way I respond to those comments is part of a bigger blogging equation.  And that if I don’t change that bit, something else will instead need to change.

And I know I’m not alone in this, and I’d like us to learn how we support each other not just to ‘get comments’ in the early days of blogging but then also how to live with the comments we get when our blogs flourish and grow.

I have a feeling this is a question I’m going to keep coming back to over the next few weeks and I’d love your input.

How do you manage these tricky parts of the blogging equation?  Have you found a formula that works?

“Our lives are at once ordinary and mythical.

We live and die, age beautifully or full of wrinkles.  We wake in the morning, buy yellow cheese, and hope we have enough money to pay for it.

At the same instant we have these magnificent hearts that pump through all sorrow and all our winters we are alive on the earth.  We are important and our lives are important, magnificent really, and their details are worthy to be recorded.

This is how writers must think, this is how we must sit down with pen in hand.  we were here; we are human beings; this is how we lived.  Let it be known, the earth passed before us.  Our details are important.  Otherwise, if they are not, we can drop a bomb and it doesn’t matter.” ~ Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down the Bones

No matter how many times I read this section, it speaks to me.  It moves me.  Reminds me why writing matters, and the importance of getting to the heart of things.

Enjoy your weekend everyone