Contemplative Christian http://contemplativechristian.com Grace and Presence in Prayer Mon, 02 Jan 2012 08:19:32 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 ContemplativeChristianhttp://feedburner.google.comSubscribe with My Yahoo!Subscribe with NewsGatorSubscribe with My AOLSubscribe with BloglinesSubscribe with NetvibesSubscribe with GoogleSubscribe with PageflakesThank you for subscribing to the Contemplative Christian blog! Your comments and readership are welcomed and valued. Christ be with you... How to Pray for Dummies http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ContemplativeChristian/~3/mUXZKcpyeEE/ http://contemplativechristian.com/how-to-pray-for-dummies/#comments Sat, 31 Dec 2011 07:55:04 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=1386
You might wonder if this post is about teaching “dummies” how to pray, or teaching people how to pray for the “dummies” in their lives.  Well, it’s neither, in fact.  Most will not admit it, but prayer is for many the most daunting aspect of the Christian life.  If you’ve spent any time in western christian church culture, you will have heard people earnestly promising to pray for each other, lamenting  how they need to pray more, or bragging about how they were praying and “God spoke” to them or healed someone.   In the extroverted traditions, prayer is often a public spectacle: loud, emotional, physical.  In the introverted traditions, prayer is often a quiet, internal conversation. Sometimes prayer is communal and prescribed, read aloud as a congregation. Sometimes prayer is no words at all…an alignment toward heaven, pure emotion.  It’s hard to know how to make sense of it all…to figure out what prayer “should” be like…what my prayer life “should”  be like.

In the contemplative traditions, prayer is usually considered necessarily private (Matt. 6:6), and internally spirit-centered (Rom. 8:26).  I don’t often quite bible verses at people, but John 14:19-20 is also interesting: “Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.” This is a bigger conversation than I’m interested in embarking on, but I suggest this represents our invitation into the mystical union of the Trinity (Father, Son, Spirit).  Christ is “in” the Father, as we are “in” Him, and He “in” us. When I pray then, I’m really just communing with the cosmic Christ who already exists in me, and I in Him.  Spiritual posturing about powerful prayers and miraculous responses from God can makes us average folk feel so illegitimate, so lacking spiritually in comparison.   But, that all seems kind of silly if prayer is really just this simple.  Prayer is just resting in the presence of Christ, and you don’t even have to go anywhere…He’s already here.   And like any comfortable, intimate relationship, some conversation inevitably happens.  This is where I’ll make  my point today…how do we then pray?

If we “get” this simple idea of prayer, available to anyone…not requiring any public speaking skills or super-spiritual holiness…then the thinking and talking part of prayer can come easily, with a little direction provided by Jesus.  The Lord’s Prayer, recited in Alcoholics Anonymous recovery meetings and liturgical churches around the world, is the simplest, most direct path to prayer available.  It also possesses a depth to keep the most mystical of prayer practitioners among us challenged for a lifetime.

Take it one line at a time…sit on it, ruminate on each word, give each word as an offering, receive what there is to receive.  A mentor started me on writing my own versions of the prayer…and I suggest the same for you.  Pray this prayer every day, and if your prayer consists of only this…rest assured, you’re following the trail broken by Christ Himself on your behalf.  He is with you, and you are with Him.  It’s simple.

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil,
for thine is the kingdom,
the power and the glory,
forever and ever,
Amen

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Tonight, in the fading light of early winter, my son babbled himself to sleep as I sat in prayer next to his crib. I found myself breathing audibly, in and out, exhaling in the “shhh” sound every parent used to soothe babies. My thoughts drifted to a workshop I attended recently, where a local Sufi group demonstrated a breathing prayer. Two breaths in through the nose, representing a welcoming of the Spirit of God, and a long exhale through the mouth, representing a voiding of the world and flesh. My breaths became a prayer…”shhhhhh”…Jesus, Come…”shhhhhh”…Jesus, Come.

Richard Rohr writes of an ancient Jewish tradition regarding the name Yahweh, the name of God revered such that it was never spoken out loud. Rohr tells of how this word Yahweh actually represents the act of breathing…it can’t be voiced, because it is breath itself.  The name of God, breathed…in and out…Yah….Weh…a beautiful thing to consider. And I did consider it, as I sat in the dark listening to the breath of my infant son. God is that close…as close to us as our breath. Christ resides in me, as close to me as my breath…as natural as my breath…as tied to my very life as my breath.

What if prayer were as simple as the act of breathing?  What if we are so hard-wired to communion with God, that breathing…taken so for granted…represents the simplest of realities: that God is with us, breathing for us and in us, and we in Him, even when we’re not thinking about it?  Lord, let me recognize the every-moment gift of this God-breathed life…

]]> http://contemplativechristian.com/christ-indwelling/feed/ 0 http://contemplativechristian.com/christ-indwelling/ Everyday Sacraments http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ContemplativeChristian/~3/g2rMQxOfdjA/ http://contemplativechristian.com/everyday-sacraments/#comments Mon, 15 Aug 2011 04:57:07 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=1354
Everyday is a gift…and the living of it purposely in the presence of Christ is true prayer…true sacrament. A sacrament is a sacred rite. The Catholic church recognizes seven sacraments: Baptism, Confirmation, Holy Eucharist, Penance, Anointing the sick, Holy Orders and Matrimony. Anglicans and Protestants in general tend to recognize two major sacraments: Baptism and The Lord’s Supper.

Sacraments are the important tenets, the critical pieces of the Christian faith…traditions with power to bring us back to the Throne, to cut through our egos and attitudes, to reduce us, to empty us of ourselves to allow the Person of Christ to rise to the surface. This sounds like prayer to me…for anything that brings us into communion with Christ is prayer, and anything that is prayer brings us into communion with Christ. The tendency in organized religion to name, label and define everything of importance has grouped certain acts or traditions as sacraments, and certainly all those mentioned previously are important. However, something is lost when we try to define the undefinable…when we try to control the uncontrollable…to understand the unknowable.

Life itself is a sacrament. If we considered notable moments in our day as sacred gifts given to draw us into communion with God…how might that change our experience of prayer, of relationship with God? My 8 month old son is a very active young man who rarely slows down … but this week, he lay on my chest and cuddled with me for a half hour as I breathed quiet love songs in his ear. It was a sacred moment…a beautiful, wonderful gift…true prayer…for in our sweet moment I found myself weeping in wordless prayer…my son in my arms, and I the the arms of my Father.

Be receptive…be ready to embrace the grace hiding in ordinary moments. The perfect cup of coffee on the perfect winter morning…a gift from God, calling us into communion. The unplanned encounter and meaningful conversation with a coworker…a gift, calling us into communion. The achingly beautiful song on the radio…a gift. The sunset after a long day…a gift.

Think of all the sacred rites we could engage with in the midst of our everyday, normal lives. No need to wait for Sunday morning, for God is present, arms eternally open, heart forever turned toward us in anticipation of relationship … even in the most ordinary of moments.

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]]> http://contemplativechristian.com/everyday-sacraments/feed/ 0 http://contemplativechristian.com/everyday-sacraments/ Everything Belongs http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ContemplativeChristian/~3/YiMpRU84YWY/ http://contemplativechristian.com/everything-belongs/#comments Tue, 05 Jul 2011 19:00:22 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=1096
Life certainly seems to have a life of it’s own sometimes.  Events come and go, and we often mindlessly move through time with very little awareness of the movement, very little awareness of our place in it.  Then, we suddenly become aware of a force outside of ourselves intervening, or rather convening, coming together with us in moments of deep meaning. This is beautiful, often bittersweet…even painful, but painful with grace and presence.

Each of us has a past, moments in our lives we’re not proud of, relationships we failed to take care of, shames we carry, burdens we bear.  And, every so often, the course of our normal everyday life is changed by the re-emergence of the past, abruptly entering the present and tearing us backward through the time we’ve hidden behind, the distance we’ve become comfortable in.  In these moments, torn out of the third-person narrative of our own lives, faced with the big picture, the overarching reality of who we are…we can face and make peace with our shadow.

Reality is a gift. Right now, I am who I am…and I can no sooner deny my shadow than deny my goodness. I want to suffer knowing pain I’ve caused, pain I’ve been dealt…I want to walk into it and accept it. When I have accepted it, I can sit freely in prayer and encounter love with a freedom not otherwise possible. Richard Rohr writes, “the path of prayer and love and the path of suffering seem to be the two Great Paths of Transformation. Suffering seems to get our attention; love and prayer seem to get our heart and our passion.” (Everything Belongs, p. 14) It all belongs…and though our natural tendency is to avoid pain and seek comfort, the call is to encounter our pain, walk into it…and find our comfort in the arms of our Father, who accepts us, and whose passion for us in our vulnerability is eternal and indescribable. “This reality, felt and not denied, suffered and enjoyed, becomes the royal road to the center. In other words, reality itself, our reality, my limited and sometimes misinterpreted experience, still becomes the revelatory place for God.” (Rohr, Everything Belongs, p. 15)

There is no end to the love of God…nothing else matters. The never-ending struggle to be “good” many of us are caught in leads only to more struggle, and for me ultimately to despair. The true journey…the path of peace that surpasses all understanding, is to reconcile with reality, to allow the mystery of God and the tragic beauty of life to play out within us. It is accepting the unacceptable, reconciling the irreconcilable…accepting that certainty and uncertainty, sin and grace, and life and death are not mutually exclusive, but belong together.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30 (New International Version)

Richard Rohr’s book, Everything Belongs, is a wonderful vision of contemplative prayer…

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]]> http://contemplativechristian.com/everything-belongs/feed/ 1 http://contemplativechristian.com/everything-belongs/ God is Silent http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ContemplativeChristian/~3/mIC4lgXAGtA/ http://contemplativechristian.com/god-is-silent/#comments Sun, 03 Apr 2011 04:24:06 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=1341
Since I was a child I’ve wondered why…with the power to create the known and unknown universe…why God has been so inconceivably silent and mysterious to His people, the supposed pinnacles of His creation. In my teens, I struggled with this silent God as my prayers seemed to go unanswered: little Tammy didn’t love me back…my beloved pet didn’t survive her injuries…my parents never resolved their differences. As an adult, I saw death and disease, injustice and heartbreak impact the lives of good people and bad people alike, I saw fools in charge of churches and wise men disparaged and forgotten. I’ve whispered, sang, cried and screamed at Heaven…and still, no burning bushes or disembodied voices appeared to alleviate my concern.

Frances Schaeffer wrote He Is There and He Is Not Silent…and even as I read all his books in my twenties, congratulating myself on my erudition, I discovered no representational argument that made God less silent. No amount of theological understanding brought God closer to me or me to Him.

I fancied myself found nonetheless, but became lost in it. It couldn’t hold me, and I wandered, adrift and seeking meaning in philosophies and substances that left me empty. Over a long period of time, I lost hope, lost meaning and lost myself. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Looking back, I see how God stripped away my religion and my self-reliance. In His silence, I lost the self I was, and became a vessel capable of being filled by something else. This “dying to the self”, is talked about reverently in Christian circles…but mouthing the words and taking on a pious attitude doesn’t count. You have to be stripped down to your soul…and the only way to do this is to see your own pain, your own pride and foolishness…to be willing to really see it…to run from it, hide from it, drown it and deny it until there nothing left of your will…then, empty of self and full of shame fall upon your knees before a silent and inconceivable God. The falling on your knees part can take years….and we’re not really on our knees until we release ourselves of the shame. That is the hardest part…for it comes back to visit us again and again. Let go of it…you’re not who you believed yourself to be…you’re as God believes you to be. If this feels like bad news…your shame is speaking again.

God is silent. All those years wondering why…and now I’m only thankful for the silence, for it’s through the silence that I finally began to hear His voice…and I realized He’d been speaking all along…saying simply, I Am Present, I Love You, I Love You.

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]]> http://contemplativechristian.com/god-is-silent/feed/ 0 http://contemplativechristian.com/god-is-silent/ Contemplative Perspectives on Christian Politics http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ContemplativeChristian/~3/ugyCLLuO3wM/ http://contemplativechristian.com/contemplative-perspectives-on-christian-politics/#comments Sun, 06 Feb 2011 04:10:19 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=1164
In America, it’s either very easy or very difficult to be a Christian…it all depends on how you vote.   Christian political thought in America has been influenced by Evangelicals for as long as I can remember.  I’m 36 years old, and didn’t really start thinking about politics until I was 25 or so…and didn’t start caring about politics deeply until this last election cycle.  For years, I just thought as I was told.  I inadvertently bought into the idea that as a depraved sinner, I couldn’t very well be trusted to think for myself on political issues.  There’s too much at stake in the culture war, they’d say.  Babies are being murdered and the gays are trying to take over our country and recruit our children.  Sound a little crazy?  Well, it is.  It wasn’t too often that leaders would come out and say it like that, but the hysteria is real…the paranoia more rampant than you might believe. People really believe this stuff.

The religious Right has successfully programmed a whole generation of Christians to believe that we are in an End Times struggle against Evil, represented by a Satanic Democratic Party.  It’s the good conservatives against the evil liberals, and our very salvation is wrapped up in which team we’re on.  When my wife and I decided to vote for Obama this last election, we lost friends and found a family relationship seriously strained.  It was as though we were murdering babies ourselves.  It doesn’t matter that in voting we were following our pro-life convictions, choosing a candidate and party we felt might finally change the conversation about an ethic of life in America.  It doesn’t matter that as followers of Christ, we felt convicted of the need for change, for balance…for a different direction.  I don’t write this to make a political statement, but simply to illustrate the point that as people of God, we are not defined by our relationship with a political party or system of thought within the Church…but by our relationship with Christ Himself.  Who are you to say that I’m not following His voice, even when in doing so I vote differently than you?

It’s a very interesting time to be a young Christian in America, for there are many others who find the old divisions and stale arguments largely irrelevant.  I think there is a movement toward contemplative spirituality within the developing church.  In some ways, this movement is apparent within the Emerging Church, the term given the interesting change within the church in recent years…across denominations.  But really, it’s bigger than that.  There is a fundamental difference between a spirituality based on relationship with God (grace-based) and spirituality based on rightness before God (shame-based).   In grace-based spirituality, we become intimately aware of our own smallness, and the largeness of God’s capacity to love.  In shame-based spirituality, we are caught in the cyclical struggle to maintain control of where we stand with God, to maintain our position as keepers of knowledge about God.  The former can accept unknowns and gray areas.  The latter is often defined by black and white thinking.

In the early years following my lifestyle conversion I became a fan of Francis Schaeffer, whose logical arguments for Christianity and large vocabulary appealed to my pride.  I wanted knowledge.  I wanted to convince and be convinced, to be sure and to be able to communicate that to any who would doubt me.  I adopted the defensiveness that defined the evangelical mindset, and become drawn into a need to defend God.   Schaeffer’s writing and the following it drew played a part in creating the conservative backbone of modern evangelicalism.   What’s so interesting is that his son, Frank Scaeffer, who played an important role in his father’s work, is now a fed up, fired up critic of the modern evangelical church.   Once active in the movement, he’s now a voice warning of the dangers of fundamentalism of the Christian kind.  Check him out at The Official Website of Frank Schaeffer.

In my long-winded way, I guess what I’m saying is that contemplative Christianity…a spirituality of Christ defined by prayer and mystical union…is an answer to fundamentalism and it’s shame-cycle.  I read an article a while ago about conflict in an Islamic country, where the fundamentalist Muslim majority was seeking to silence and control the Sufi minority.  Sufis are the contemplatives, the mystics, of the Islamic worldview, and have historically (in this context at least) been peace-seekers, where the majority has continued to wage war and control.  Its interesting to see the same dynamic play out in so many contexts.  Mysticism challenges black and white thinking, just as Christ challenged the black and white thinking of the religiously certain of his time.  The reaction to Christ was violence.  We see the same today.

When your world is built upon tightly controlled rules and systems, then you fight to protect your control.  The story of the prodigal son illustrates the dynamic beautifully. The oldest son had his world fairly well under control…he had earned his fathers love and respect with hard work and dedication.  When the prodigal son returned home and was received with such joy…the love given away for free…the brother’s response was anger.  We cannot control God.   Yet, when the worldview of conservative Christians is challenged, even if challenged by undeniable logic (such as proof the earth is older than 5000 years) the response is anger and defensiveness…if you’re not with us, God is not with you.

Its a difficult time and an exciting time to follow Christ in America.  There are hints of change, hints of new life beginning to emerge as a new generation comes of age.  The last election sent a message, as did the public disgrace of some powerful Evangelicals, that the vote-getting machine of the Religious Right is losing steam.  There is an opportunity for a new Christian voice to emerge, one that truly seeks to be “peacemakers”, to recognize those that are hungry and hurting among us, to call out for an ethic of life across circumstances…one rooted in devotion, not control…wisdom, not knowledge.

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]]> http://contemplativechristian.com/contemplative-perspectives-on-christian-politics/feed/ 5 http://contemplativechristian.com/contemplative-perspectives-on-christian-politics/ Advent http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ContemplativeChristian/~3/iFljgWZMumE/ http://contemplativechristian.com/advent/#comments Thu, 16 Dec 2010 03:14:01 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=1335
Advent means “coming” and was, according to several online sources, derived from the Latin word adventus, describing the arrival of an emperor in a city. This season of Advent is all about arrival for my family, who is eagerly anticipating the arrival of our first child, a son. It’s interesting to think about Advent from the perspective of Jesus’ parents, who looked forward to that first Christmas on a more personal level than anyone in history. I can imagine their excited waiting, their yearning for the day to finally come when they would see their son face to face…this unique creation so much like them, yet so different. Every birth prior and every birth since has echoed this mystery, every child something new, something undeserved, unearned, unbelievable.

I wonder how many people look forward to the Christmas celebration, even the mystical practices of union with Christ, as much as parents look forward to the birth of their first child? In this consumer age, many churches are working to reclaim the heart of the Servant’s gospel, yet most folks I know eventually yearn for an end to it all. My wife’s experience in the late stages of labor will likely be in line with this. But for parents, for Mary and Joseph, for the Father, the end of the season is the beginning of life…the beginning of a great journey, a great adventure, a bittersweet, beautiful experience of gain and loss, growth and grace, pain and suffering…the stuff of love and life.

The annual celebration of the birth of Christ, overtaken as it is by a Western cultural tidal wave of commerce, is at it’s heart about anticipation, restlessness in the face of the unknown, excitement and eventually joy, embrace, hope, boundless devotion, limitless love. May it be so for you this year.

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]]> http://contemplativechristian.com/advent/feed/ 0 http://contemplativechristian.com/advent/ Happiness http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ContemplativeChristian/~3/bRBVslPx_-Y/ http://contemplativechristian.com/happiness/#comments Mon, 08 Nov 2010 02:23:39 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=1320
My family has recently moved to a small town, 15 miles on a single country road from the city nearby. This is my daily commute…and its quite a drastic change from the bumper to bumper, noisy, crowded trip through the inner city I used to brave each day. Silence and simplicity.

I have a sense of well-being here…a sense of happiness. We’re expecting our first child in December, I’m teaching and loving the joys and challenges of adolescent learners. Life hasn’t always been good…but it is presently quite good. I find myself wondering when the other shoe will drop…when tragedy will strike. Why do I have such trouble accepting, internalizing, the happiness of the moment?

The rain pours on both good and the evil, and so too does the sun shine. This is a mystery that begs for quick and easy answers…we want to hear we have some control over our life. If we’re good…God will be good to us. However, we have no control, and there really is no comfort. Some people suffer greatly, and some do not. What use is it, then, to pray for things to go our way? What use is prayer, one might ask?

Matthieu Ricard, biochemist-turned-Buddhist monk, speaks of happiness:

So, what is happiness? The absence of suffering? The absence of sadness? Or, is there a beauty in the emotional ups and downs life brings…a sense of well-being suspended between peace and heartache, anger and defeat, despair and rapture?

Prayer is the middle way, I think, a foundational place where the experience of the “Other”, existing outside of happiness and pain, outside of emotion and life’s woundedness, can become our own experience…even if only in a limited way. And when I touch that…when in prayer I see through the eyes of Christ, as though through a glass darkly, I do find happiness…or rather, peace that surpasses happiness, surpasses understanding. I inevitably drift away and forget this peace, back in the daily distractions of life. It usually takes pain or passion to call me back again. I admire the discipline of the Buddhists, who give simplicity and silence such a central place in their practice. The western church hasn’t emphasized meditative prayer, but it is exactly this prayer we need. It is the discipline of resting in grace.

Visit the Contemplative Christian Forums and share your thoughts…or leave a comment here.

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]]> http://contemplativechristian.com/happiness/feed/ 2 http://contemplativechristian.com/happiness/ Recognizing Grace http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ContemplativeChristian/~3/Y97DiQg6qpg/ http://contemplativechristian.com/recognizing-grace/#comments Sun, 24 Oct 2010 15:27:42 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=1189
I like this brief thought from Richard Rohr, on grace.  It’s a good reminder during life’s busy moments of late, and particularly poignant for a time of Thanksgiving.

“Where do I need to recognize grace?

When Job’s life is about to be taken away from him, he can say one of two things.  He can curse God, as he is tempted to do, and say, “God, why not fifty-one years of life?” Or he can surrender to love and say, “God, why even fifty years?”  Why did I deserve life at all?  When we take on that attitude, we’ve made a decision for grace.

“Naked I came into the world, and naked I will leave” (Job 1:21), Job says.  What do we have, brothers and sisters, that has not been given to us?  All is grace.  All is given. Who gave me this hand?  Who wiggles these fingers?  Who created this eye which I cannot explain or understand?  I cannot even make this hair grow.  It is all gift.

From beginning to end, everything is grace, everything is given.  There is nothing that we have a right to or that we deserve.”

Adapted from Radical Grace: Daily Meditations, pp. 207-208
(Source: Days of Renewal)

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]]> http://contemplativechristian.com/recognizing-grace/feed/ 0 http://contemplativechristian.com/recognizing-grace/ Wilderness http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ContemplativeChristian/~3/gri4B1JSb6c/ http://contemplativechristian.com/wilderness/#comments Mon, 09 Aug 2010 04:27:21 +0000 admin http://contemplativechristian.com/?p=1287
Lately, I’ve been battling a pervasive cynicism that once came as a gift, illuminating the absurdity of so much of the American Christian life, but has remained with me too long. In the midst of walking away from church culture, political Christian culture, busy social spirituality culture, I became awake for the first time…awake to see clearly the reality of Christ in my life, in all lives. For two years, I’ve rested in the beauty of that realization, the grace of full acceptance and love in relationship with God…walking through uncertainty, anger and cynicism, into a steady, deep and indescribably wonderful sense of myself as man made and loved in God’s image.

In prayer and in lack of prayer, I found myself continually returning to the reality of a God unconditionally turned toward me, arms open, heart on fire, words speaking to me deeply and quietly and richly like the mournful, sweet tones of a cello cascading off stone walls in the sanctuary of my heart. In this space I am found and lost and found again…His Presence is enough.

Empty, quiet night.
My soul is weary,
orbiting on the periphery.
No change in sight.

Brooding, hollow space.
Prayers heavy, bloated,
drift slowly heavenward.
I can find no grace.

Sweet, fresh morning.
Awake in Presence,
enveloped in hope.
I am home again.

It’s hard to go back to church after experiencing relationship like this outside of church. In fact, it was the act of leaving that made it possible…walking blindly into the wilderness, away from community and predictability and safety in numbers. But now, I recognize a call back into the “Church”…and my cynicism remains.  It feels like a game…and I don’t want to play games.   Morning announcements, worship bands and dimmed lights, prayer supplemented by mood music, potlucks, Sunday smiles, prayer groups, classes, people finding comfort in uncomfortable seats, offering baskets, hugs and handshakes, “peace of the Lord be with you”…the cultural aspects of the American church experience, especially in the evangelical world. Some of this is beautiful…but something was always missing for me. The medium captures the attention so much that the message is lost in translation.  The power of influence given to preachers and pastors is frightening in a culture demanding express service and novel experiences.

But, sitting with Christ, I return to the realization that it is what it is.  God is who God is.  I am who I am.  My past is what it is, and my future is what it is. The church belongs, just as my experience outside of it belongs.  I don’t get to pick what fits and doesn’t fit. Right now, I am with Christ…and there’s nothing special about that.  No soaring oratory or regimented bible study to get me there.  I am here right now, and Christ is with me.  It really is a simple as that.

So is my impulse to reconnect with church a soft nudge from Christ, who is with me…or is it my own false shame, accusing me of not measuring up, not fitting in, not living rightly in light of the WORD OF THE LORD…which commands me to love my neighbor, tithe and regularly attend Sunday services? Grace is this: we have the freedom to figure it out.

The wilderness is a wild and dangerous place…but it’s exactly where God’s people were led in their delivery from slavery. It’s where Jesus was led in his delivery from the slavery of his own humanity.  It’s where I’ve been led as well, outside of the sanctuary of man and into the sanctuary of God…where I’ve found hope and tenderness in the arms of my Lord, the same Lord I was taught to fear, to perform for and eventually to ignore and despise.  But, I didn’t know Him then…in church.  I know Him now.  I am compelled to return to a community, as a man led into the desert and back again.  Let my response be total…

Hosea 14-15: “Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will respond as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt.”

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