Continue in Excellence

Currently Reading:

2008-10-25T20:08:00.006-05:00

J.D.: Trust me, I wouldn't want to have to make this decision.
Mr. Larkin: I wish I could ask my wife. She'd be better at handling this than me.
J.D.: You know, you and I are a lot alike. We may seem like the kind of guy you can just, you know, throw in a head-lock and draw a mustache on... but, in crunch time, we always come through.

Scrubs - My Philosophy

I've been trying to read more in preparation for my deployment; trying to get my mindset right in so many different perspectives: spiritually, tactically, socially, physically, etc. I had heard a lot about LTC Grossman's previous book, On Killing, and decided that I would try reading this book. I'm about 1/3 of the way through and so far I think it's a great book with a wealth of insights. I'll talk about some of my thoughts so far...

In the Army , we're trained in a plethora of skills in order to complete "The Mission", whatever you're unit's mission is. We go to schools, we do physical training, we train and become proficient in our weapon systems, we learn how to become efficient in the various equipment we use to do our jobs (whethers it's commo, computers, or parachutes). Through my seven years in the military to include a deployment, numerous mobilizations, and training exercises, I've discovered that the Army does not train/prepare it's warriors in the physiological and psychological effects of combat. Prior to 9/11, the majority of the military was not in a combat mindset. Only a few select units and divisions had been deployed and seen combat within the previous decade. But now with Operations Enduring and Iraqi Freedom, most service members realize they will be called to combat environments during their contract. I have never received training about what to expect when bullets and mortars fly over your head. I've never been told that when you enter a life and death situation in combat, it is common for warriors to experience tunnel-vision, or temporary paralysis, or slow-motion time perception, or auditory exclusion, or a laundry list of other physiological occurrences resulting from an increased heart rate and other stresses.

The authors of this book have done extensive research and interviews to determine common and not-so-common occurrences during combat. Even those occurrences that are rare are items that warriors should be aware of so as to help minimize the shock and awe if it happens.

As a leader in a fighting force, I believe we should do our part to ensure our subordinates are prepared to the utmost when they enter combat. To neglect these areas of combat, is a gross disservice to those who entrust the oversight of their well-being.

[I will add more eventually but, right now, Game 3 is on...]

Re-Train:

2008-09-02T21:53:00.002-05:00

Re-Train...It's a funny word in the military. It means that an individual or unit was not up to standard or failed a performance evaluation, must be trained again, and then test again.

hmmm....I'm in AZ, beginning the first week of the Test Phase. I'm doing great so far. I probably haven't received the amount of sleep I want, but I adapt and press on.

However, after the events at the beginning of the week, I can't help but think...

Re-train: LESSON 1.

Continue in Excellence,
jdmerx

Lesson 2

2008-07-21T20:43:00.008-05:00

Sometimes the best thing to do is just to say exactly what's in your heart.
J.D. (Zach Braff) on [Scrubs]

Here's the second installment...

Lesson 2: Sometimes the best thing to do is just to say exactly what's in your heart.

I took one of those personality type tests. It confirmed what I already knew about myself. For the most part, I stay away from conflict. I'm more of a peace-maker. I can handle it in my professional life. If I need to do speak up or ruffle feathers, I can do and will do so. My personal life, however, is a different story.

I terribly dislike confrontations where someone's feelings may get hurt. It's easier for me to be silent and not say anything. I joke around with my friends, telling them that one of my spiritual gifts is the ability to ignore people. That skill helped me a lot when I was a high school sports official.

It's pretty easy for me to deflect comments made by other people, especially if I do not consider them a close friend or acquaintance. It's harder for me, though, with persons to whom I am particular familiar or close. I will leave submerged my own feelings and thoughts at times.

I also realize that because of my childhood, I find it difficult to be close to certain people. And when I finally become close, it takes an extra effort to truly open up to that person. The good thing is that I have identified that characteristic of mine. Now, I have to try to remedy it.

I would like to say that I see myself as a solutions-oriented type of guy. So I've been trying to identify those persons and/or situations where I am hesitant to speak m heart. The one underlying feature to these circumstances and with the whole concept of speaking from the heart, is that you leave yourself exposed and vulnerable. Others are able to see what you believe. What you value. What you feel and treasure. They can see what's important to you. What your weaknesses are. Where the chinks in your armor are located.

Whether it's in an argument. A conflict. A sorrow. A rejection. A disappointment. When you speak your heart, people see you as you are. Not the you kept in check and under lock and key.

But sometimes what's in your heart doesn't edify those around you. The heart at times can hurtful and spiteful and jealous and deceitful. Jesus tells us that.

So you have to find the balance. That's easier said than done. Until next time...

Continue In Excellence,
jdmerx

Lesson 1

2008-07-18T00:53:00.005-05:00

"Even if it kills you to be just friends, if you really care about someone you'll take the hit."
J.D. (Zach Braff) on Scrubs

I think I'm gonna forgo apologizing for the long break since my last post. Let's just move forward...

So I've been thinking about this topic for a while. It's not completely hashed out or thoroughly thought through. Anyone who knows me knows that my favorite sitcom is [Scrubs]. I have every season on DVD. I can quote almost any phrase. I can find parallel situations in life that occurred during an episode. I know. I know. Some say it's overboard. Or pathetic. I disagree with those individuals.

Now let's take a trip in the "Way Back When" machine. Remember back when you'd be in grade school and see the posters stating, "Everything I need to know in life I learned in ...."

I realized that I could work on that concept with my love of [Scrubs]. So now I will offer my first lesson...

"Everything I need to know in life, I learned in [Scrubs]"

Lesson 1: Even if it kills you to be just friends, if you really care about someone you'll take the hit.

Now in this episode of [Scrubs], J.D. decides to not tell Elliot about his desire to pursue a relationship with her since she stated that they should just be friends. J.D. holds back and realizes that the timing wasn't right. He realized that it was better to lose her as a girlfriend and keep her as a friend than to lose her as a girlfriend AND lose her as a friend.

At the time of application of this quote in my life, I was learning a lot about myself. Especially pertaining to the arena of my personal relationships. I had pursued a relationship with a certain girl. I thought there was potential and that it was going good. And then got shot down [ I was told by a friend that this phrase is not an adequate assessment. This friend also wanted to know why guys use those words and that phrase, in particular. I responded to my friend by saying that guys have to step out, be vulnerable, and it is completely up to the girl to let the "bird" fly or fall to its death.] I was struggling with the whole concept of what it meant to be "just friends" with a girl you were hoping there'd be more. [I could elaborate more on this process with illustrations, metaphors, and pithy insights. Unfortunately that is beyond the scope of this blog. Perhaps on another post. I will tease it though by stating that I have had numerous friends tell me that I could write a humor book detailing my relationship follies.]

To summarize the end result to which I came to the conclusion, I realized that I was looking at rejection in a completely incorrect manner. I saw rejection as a 'Not Being Good Enough' mindset rather than 'Looking For Different Qualities' mindset. I know that to some that seems like a DUH perspective. But to me, it was new to realize that I had that weakness. So now I had the head answer, I just had to get the heart to follow. It took a while. With prayer and the help of wise counsel ( ;-) ), I have worked on turning that particular weakness into a strength.

I realize that there are individuals in life who are meant to be romantic partners, and others that are there for platonic. Hopefully, for my next romantic venture she and I will be good friends first. And if it works out that we should not continue a non-platonic relationship, I can identify and assess that if I care about her, she's worth being "just friends." Until next time...

Continue in Excellence,
jdmerx

New England

2008-04-02T21:20:00.002-05:00

I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of sunsets.

"Boston" - Augustana

Here's a quick update....

The drive up here was great. It's a completely different experience getting to see the change in landscape from one area of the country to the other. The alternative is to fly and and just land in a new region.

Observation #1:

I have a new appreciation for Texas highways, especially after driving in New York. In case you didn't know, they have a state speed limit of 55 mph. Yep, 55 mph. Plus, you pay a toll. Additionally, the roads suck. I'm told that the reason for the bad roads is because of the plows and salt during the winter and snowy months. Hmmm...that's still not an answer for the ridiculously slow speed limit and paying a toll to travel in that fashion.

Observation #2:

It has been grey and rainy and gloomy and depressing here outside Boston. I dunno how people live here. I need the sun. For the most part, he has decided to take a vacation. Probably to the south. Probably to Texas.

Observation #3:

The Great Experiement has started. Results at a later time.

Observation #4:

Class is going pretty well so far. It is day 3, however, so it is subject to change. It should start picking up starting next week.

I think that is enough observations for right now. I am planning in my future posts to do a countdown of Top 5 lessons that ave impacted me from the television series Scrubs. If you have any, feel free to leave me a comment. Otherwise, stay tuned. Until next time...

Continue in Excellence,

jdmerx

In a Non-Hypothetical Way

2008-03-16T19:29:00.011-05:00

SON: Ask me what's the most important thing about telling a joke.

MOM: Ok, Son. What's the most important thing...

SON: [interrupting] Timing!

It's been a great Spring Break...

I accomplished a lot of things. I read. A book. Visited with friends. Saw Aggie basketball. Drove to Brownwood to see the Lady Jackets advance to the Final Four. Drove to San Antonio to watch the Spurs lose to Boston... :-(.

A lot of those things were on my list of things to do before I deploy overseas. I accomplished one task that was pretty important to me. I'm not gonna say what it is now. Maybe later. But not now. I've learned a lot from that experience. Worst case scenario, it's a learning experience. So that's a plus if that's the worst that can happen.

Right?

Until next time,

Continue in Excellence,

jdmerx

American as Apple Pie

2008-03-12T20:40:00.012-05:00

That's baseball, and it's my game. Y' know, you take your worries to the game, and you leave 'em there. You yell like crazy for your guys. It's good for your lungs, gives you a lift,
and nobody calls the cops. Pretty girls, lots of 'em.
- Humphrey Bogart

I'm not sure if there is any better sporting experience than an afternoon baseball game. I love football, but I don't think an afternoon football game can come close to an afternoon baseball game. Especially when it's an Aggie baseball game.

For those that have never experienced Aggie baseball, you should. It's quite different from any other collegiate game. I was able to see A&M play Centenary College this afternoon. The weather was great. Not too hot. Not too cold. Perfect. There was a time I used to hate baseball. Really despise it. That was before I understood it. Now I love it.

Maybe because teams play so many games that individuals games lose their importance. Maybe because it's the only sport where 30% is considered excellent play. Maybe because it's the best individual team sport. Maybe because it seems so American. It is our national pastime. It seems like the NFL and NBA get more coverage. More glitz. More glamor. The best sports movies are those about baseball. There are more analogies for life dealing with baseball than other sports. Think about it. I didn't always feel this way. But I do now

. Here are some pics I took at today's game...

Until next time....

Continue in Excellence,

jdmerx

Cold Weather

2008-03-12T05:50:00.003-05:00

Well it is a little chillier than I had thought. So I have fashioned my hat back into my pants.
Michael Scott - The Office

I had drill this past weekend in Waco. It should be the last time that I have to drill there; which is unfortunate since I enjoy visiting with Alan and Tovah while I'm in town. I was able to get the necessary paperwork completed so I should be able to transfer to Austin. If all goes as planned then I should leave for training at the end of the month to Massachusetts. A lot could happen until then. I could NOT go to school. At that I would be severely disappointed. Things could be worse. It's all about perspective. I mean, I think the New England area is cold. I hate cold weather. And really hot weather. But that's for another post.

I don't want to get ahead of myself and tell everyone I'm leaving. And then not leave. But then I haven't really told a lot of people that I could be gone for the 10 weeks. I can see the conversations now...'Guess what? I'm leaving for training. I'll be gone for 10 weeks. And I leave tomorrow.' Yeah, that could happen.

I think I prefer it that way. At least I'm not getting ahead of myself. Until next time...

Continue in Excellence,
jdmerx

A (very) late thought for Valentine's Day

2008-03-02T22:48:00.004-06:00

"...Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard...."
-Coldplay "The Scientist"

So much has been running through my mind this past month. If all goes well, I should be leaving at the end of March to Massachusetts for Army training. It's not set in stone yet. So there is still room for changes. There is a great part of me that eagerly looks forward to this opportunity. However, I still have reservations. There are those relationships and friendships that I would like to strengthen and develop here in College Station. Are they strong enough that we will continue correspondence? Time will tell.

It's kinda funny when I've thought about my past over this past month through the Valentine's holiday. If the goal in my relationships, romantic or otherwise, is for the other person to be a better man/woman of God, then I have ensure that I seek Godliness, among other qualities, at all times. So my first criteria in any type of romantic relationship is that she must desire and practice to be a Godly woman.

Check.

Other than that, other variables are reviewed on a case-by-case situation. I've realized that for me, I have another criteria which is almost as limiting. She must be willing and open for periods of separation and being apart. I have found that this criteria can almost be more selective than the previous. Some people are not cut out for it and want no part of that. That's okay. There is nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately, that is a luxury outside of my grasp for where God has called me at this present time.

I will be gone for periods of time. Sometimes known. Sometimes unknown. I remember in a former relationship, my girlfriend at the time had me read Passion for Purity by Elisabeth Elliot. I don't remember much from the book. But I do remember that Elisabeth and her husband were separated for a long time. I remember thinking at the time that I was reading it, what a horrible situation. Now, older, maybe wiser. Maybe not. I see distance as an opportunity for strength and growth. And purity.

So, I'm going back to the start. Ensuring that my main focus is on God. Whatever springs forth from that is an added blessing. The timing of which I do not know. I can only handle those things within my limited control. Whether I meet a woman of God who is up for the challenge or find one who is not, I cannot and should not worry. I still must seek to glorify God in all I do where He has put me.

Until next time: Continue In Excellence.
jdmerx

p.s. Hopefully, the freuqency of my posts should increase.

New Year. New ________(?)

2008-01-15T23:48:00.000-06:00

2008 has already started out with a bang. I found out I am no longer going to Iraq. I am going to a better place. I have a job lined up to occupy my time until I deploy. I started taking a Krav Maga self defense and fighting course... but enough about me.

Perhaps the biggest news, and the most immediate, is that my sister is getting married on Friday. I have no idea what to make of it. She's 19. I've never met the guy. I talked to my sister. I've told her how I felt. I've resigned to the fact that we differ on how we live our lives. Our values. How we see the world. But she has to live her life. Make her choices. And even make her mistakes. I pray that she isn't making the biggest mistake of her life. I wish her the best. I'll be there for her. I'm praying for her and marriage. Is that enough? That's the most effective thing I can do.

By my next blog I'll have a brother-in-law....crazy. Until next time...

Continue in Excellence,
jdmerx

On Newer Things....

2007-12-22T20:20:00.000-06:00

I realize that I fail to keep this thing updated. Initially, I wanted to keep this updated to keep tabs of my thoughts and events in my life. I repeatedly, however, fail at this task. The reason for this I believe, is becasue I know nobody reads this. But that kinda makes me feel better knowing that few people (if any) will know my thoughts. I think another reason is that I have a hard time opening up. I don't think I have a hard time making friends. I try to be social. I hang out with people. I don't, however, have people that I regularly confide in. It's too hard. At least, it seems that way to me. How do you invest in people that are only in your life for a "season." How do you not get "too attached." I think that's what I struggle with. I've lived my life from high school on on my own. I've had one signifcant relationship (girlfriend) since high school and that was seven years ago. I keep moving around that it's hard to stay in touch with the same people. From 2 years at HPU, to 3 1/2 years away to 2 years back at HPU and now a semester at A&M.
Now I realize that I will not be going back to the Bush School for the Spring semester. It's been a tough semester for me. Realizing that this is not what I wanted to continue pursuing has been tough. My biggest fears are 1) being a burden to other and 2) letting people down. I can't help but feel that I have recently accomplished one, if not both, of those.
So now I leave the Bush School knowing that I will be going to Iraq again next year. Just when I started building friendships, etc. I leave. I want to keep up the relatinships. Build on them. But I said that the last time I went to Iraq. That didn't work out to well. My friends were to busy with school and work and their own lives to keep up the long distance correspondence. It wasn't all their fault. I mean, I did my share to keep it that way. Afterall, it doesn't make friends and family sleep better at night telling them how many times you faced death that day. And when I got back, I wanted to get back to my friendships. But so much had happened on their end. Single friends were now married. Married friends were now parents. Other friends were now gone and move elsewhere. Plus, I couldn't help but feel that some were unsure how to act towards me because they feared they couldn't relate to what I had been through.
So what do I do now knowing what I will be going through the next year? Feelings of loneliness are bound to surface. My friends in Grad school will have graduated by the time I return from overseas. Who knows what else will have changed? I have God. That is for certain. I know that should be enough. Somehow, it doesn't seem that way.
God brought me through everything the first time, right? But I know how that felt. It wasn't that great. So I guess that leaves me trying to figure what my next step is. Until next time....

Continue in Excellence

Setbacks and setforwards

2007-10-13T23:27:00.001-05:00

Much has happened since my last post. Grad school is coming along. I'm staying extremely busy and am trying to make up for my shortcoming at the beginning of the semester. I have a midterm for Quantitative Methods and I'm not quite sure how well I'll do. Much prayer is appreciated.

I finally signed my contract for ROTC. My guard unit exists no longer in its former state and has begun transformation. I will not be going to Abilene any longer. From now on, I will be going to Waco once a month.

Spiritually, I need improvement and encouragement. I have found a great church and small group with which to get involved! I'm trying to build stronger relationships and find my core group of friends. There are so many people, activities, and resources. The issue is not gettig overwhelmed.

So, onto the big news...No, I'm not engaged. But I did dislocate my left shoulder this past Friday. It's the first time I had ever dislocated anything. Wasn't really a big fan of it. I injured it while mtn biking at Lake Bryan. Excruciating pain. When I finally made it to a hospital, x-rays showed that I had a slight fracture. The doctor told me that surgery was not required but that my injury would be a persist for a couple weeks longer due to the chip.

I definitely wouldn't recommend dislocating anything. After it happened and I was laying face downon the trail I was left with different thoughts running through my mind. The first of which was, 'Well, at least my sunglasses didn't break." But then I thought, "ow."

How messed up is that?

Fortunately, I had some awesome friends who were with me at the time and were nothin but an extreme blessing. They put up with my lack of movement, mycomplaints of pain, missed dinner, and ruined Friday night. While at the hospital, they took turns visiting with me in the ER and keeping me company. After we left the hospital, we all went to dinner and ended the eventful MTN BIKE trip.

I am thankful for my friends that God has placed in my life, especially during this time. THey have called to check up on me, volunteered their time and services to see if there was anything I needed, have been persistant to ensure that I take care of myself and wear my should sling, and have made a "Get Well Soon" cake.

I continue to see how it's all about putting things in perspective. I'm alive. I'm healthy (save for some minor injuries). I have been given some awesome friends. Now I've been thinking...How will God use this for His Glory? How do I see His promises displayed in this? What does this show me about the character and worth of God? and how can I take joy in it?

I will meditate on these thoughts. I know the answer. Often times, what we know in our heads, our hearts don't want to follow suit. May it not be so this time. Until my next corrspondence...

Continue In Excellence,
jdmerx

Life at the TenThirteen

2007-08-26T20:28:00.000-05:00

SOOO. I've definitely fallen way behind on updating everyone since the last post. So here is a summary of the great things that I've been up to:

Saw my family (Dad, Sister, Brother, and extended family on Dad's side) in California. Great weather. Fun in Vegas. Saw Tyler W. Long - I mean super long airport stays.

Stayed and visited in Brownwood, Tx. Saw Jackson Daniel Locker for the first time!

Moved from Brownwood into the TenThirteen in College Station. Unpacked.

Attended all sorts of orientations. For new graduate students at A&M. For new Bush School of Government students. For first years student in the Corps of Cadets at Texas A&M.

Unpacked.

Went to Aggie soccer game and volleyball game. Whoop!

Unpacked.

Visited my first church today. This is something I'm definitely in prayer for. I visited Grace Bible and had a great experience. It's a huge church but the 20/30 group is small enough to allow a personal environment. Meeting all sorts of new people.

Unpacked.

Tomorrow is the first day of class. For some reason, the least of which is that I haven't even purchased books yet, I don't feel ready for the first day. Hopefully that should change.

Unpacked. The roomies want to have a welcome party on thursday night. So I guess that means that my unpacking better be done before then. (Cross my fingers)

We are getting the internet and HD cable tomorrow so I should be more diligent to the blog. I look forward to keeping all in the loop. Until next time...continue in excellence!

2007-08-02T23:03:00.000-05:00

So later today I fly to California to see my father and sister. As I pack and prepare, I have been watching the news to see what has been going on in the world. I feel that I am out of "the loop" while working at camp. One of the major events that has happened at the time of this writing is the collapse of the 35W bridge in Minneapolis, MN. It is covered non-stop on almost every news station. I suspect that this will happen for a few more days. Then it will stop and news anchors everywhere will only talk about it in passing as an anecdote. But for now, it is news. What shall we make of it?

No doubt there are countless tragedies that occur everyday throughout the world. But that does not diminish the grief that occurs over this event. Nor does it elevate this tragedy over and above any others. For there has occurred one great Injustice that far surpasses anything we have endured or will endure in this life.

I guess it's all about perspective. Yes, we grieve during tragedies like this. Yes, we show compassion to friends and strangers when they hurt. That is something I, myself, must work on. Far too often, I think, I struggle with not showing compassion to others during times of sorrow. So this is for me, too.

It's still about perspective. How do you view this? One of my favorite authors and pastor, John Piper, wrote an article 3 hours after the collapse of the bridge. He pastors a church within eyesight of the fallen bridge in Minneapolis. His article helps convey some of my thoughts on this tragic event. Here is the link for it http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/745_putting_my_daughter_to_bed_two_hours_after_the_bridge_collapsed/

When all is said and done, it's all about perspective. How do I see myself in this life? in relation to events? to others? to a holy and righteous God?

I wanted to send a friend a card wishing her good luck on the upcoming school year, but I couldn't. I can't get past saying good luck. It's been ingrained in me since I was young to say "Good luck" and to wish people good luck. But what does luck mean? ...that events occur and happen by chance without purpose or design? And that it's best to hope that maybe you can get the good king and not the bad kind? People say "I have good luck" or "I have bad luck" or "If it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all." These mindsets bear witness to people's perspectives on life. So a friend told me once, "I don't believe in luck. I believe in God's sovereign grace." hmmm... no luck. just God's sovereign grace. Let me meditate on that longer. I don't think Hallmark makes Sovereign Grace greeting cards. I mean, where would they file them? Until then...

Continue in Excellence,
jdmerx

Genesis

2007-07-31T14:24:00.000-05:00

I guess this is one of the easiest posts a novice blogger is to make. The why and what to expect in future blogs should be explained so that those in Cyberland will want to return. Well, in that case, I hope the reader is not sadly disappointed. Let me be upfront and honest.

I lack the erudition to be witty and insightful. I lack the humor to be entertaining and amusing. I only hope that I can learn from my friends who have done this far longer than I.

I have never been told that I have a gift for words and writing....and I'm okay with that. I don't have the grace and beauty to describe things in new ways to challenge the imagination. I can, however, admire the works of others. So I will. I will strive, to the best of my ability, to translate the beauty I see into the beauty I share.

Along that road, I can tell my of my mistakes, blunders, and occasional triumphs. Anyone can point out a weakness and a problem. Of that I am certain. There is a shortage, however, of individuals willing to ask "So what?" and make things better. So in that mindset, I hope to continue in excellence in all that I do. By His grace. For His Glory.