Continuing our Journey!

uh-prak-see-uh

2012-01-07T19:56:00.000-08:00

Or Apraxia. Childhood Apraxia of Speech.
So that is what we are thinking is the cause of Haylea's speech delay. Apparently, in layman's terms, there is a missing connection somewhere between her brain and her mouth. We noticed that when she isn't thinking about it words will randomly fly out of her mouth but if she tries to concentrate on saying something she struggles to get out even one syllable. At 28 months she actually has quite a list of "words" in her vocabulary. However, most of them are signs and all of them are one syllable starting with the few consonants she can say. She has been in speech therapy since September and we haven't seen much progress in regards to actual words. She has become much more expressive, learned new signs, and new "words" but no where near the progress I had hoped for after 4 months of therapy.

The diagnosis came about when I showed Mrs. Erin (Haylea's SLP) a video of her saying "notebook" and "air hockey." Yes, how random! Brian was teaching her to play air hockey while Blues Clues was on the TV. She heard them say "notebook" and she repeated it! After a few seconds I asked "are you going to play air hockey?" and she totally, clear-as-day, repeated "air hockey." WTH! We were shocked and thought it was so cool! This must be progress, right?! When Mrs. Erin saw the video she came to the realization that a lot of what Haylea was doing was consistent with Childhood Apraxia of Speech. Apraxia affects the expressive language skills, not the receptive language skills. She can comprehend everything we say and knows what she wants to say but has trouble getting it to come out as words. Ok...so now what??

Basically, we start from scratch. We have to teach her how to say words piece by piece. She has to be taught how to form sounds in her mouth because her brain can't get the message through. For example, instead of asking her to say "yogurt" (because she won't do it...it is way too complicated of a word for her to even try because she knows she can't) I ask her to say "guh guh". It works. She now comes to me when she wants yogurt and says "guh guh". Later we will concentrate on "fixing" her words. Guh Guh will turn into Oh-guh then Oh-gurt and finally Yogurt. See where I am going??

Other examples of the "shells" of words that we are focusing on are Me/Muh, Sissy/Dee Dee, snack/dah or dak (she still doesn't put an ending on a word so once we get the first syllable down we will add the ending), bye bye/bah bah, milk/muh or muk, etc. It seems like we are backtracking. To think that "baby talk" will get her to improve her speech seems a little...well...just wrong but we really do have to start from scratch. I have to think about how a small child might pronounce a word incorrectly and teach her to say it that way...because she won't try unless it is a sound she knows she can make. Confused yet? Me too...

So everything I have read says that kids with Apraxia need intensive, frequent therapy. Like 3-5 times a week! We get speech therapy once a week through first steps. That is not nearly enough. We need to tackle this and get her the help she needs NOW. I feel like we are already behind since it took us 4 months to figure this out (and don't get me started on the pediatrician who is always one step behind, hence our switching to a new one). Again, now what? We are meeting with the director of Talking Time Learning Center on Monday. I am really excited because this preschool is run by an SLP, is where Mrs. Erin is employed, and offers preschool classes taught by SLPs as well as outpatient speech therapy. We will see if first steps will allow us to have therapy twice a week but if that doesn't work out I want her to have a one-on-one therapy session at MINIMUM of twice a week. I guess we will go from there...who knows how much she will be affected by this. It could be that once she learns to speak there will be no other issues. She could have problems later on with reading and writing. We just have to take it one word at a time...

I go back and forth from thinking "it is what it is, and we have a lot of work ahead of us but we can do it!" and just wanting to let loose and cry. Not because I feel sorry for my child or because I don't want to put in the time that it is going to take but because it isn't FAIR! Not to me but to her. She is so smart and she is going to have to work so hard to do what comes so naturally to most everyone else. She is so smart and CAN'T even tell us what she wants or needs. She physically can not tell us what is on her mind. That is not fair. We probably have no idea how smart she actually is and how much she actually comprehends. It isn't fair. She deserves to be able to speak. That is what would be fair. I am not bitter. I just want what every mother wants...for their child to have every opportunity in life to be the best they can be. And I am making it my priority to make sure she gets every bit of help she needs to be able to perform at her highest potential. See...I just went from crying about it to Let's do this!

Playing in the Rain!

2011-11-07T20:19:00.000-08:00

I asked Haylea to let the dog outside (her new favorite thing to do) and I thought she was just standing with the door open playing and watching the dog. I look out and she had gone out to play in the rain! My first thought was "get in here!" but then I decided "why not?!" I brought her in and put her snow boots on her...we don't have rain boots...I figured snow boots were better than the sopping wet socks she went out in the first time! And I let her loose...she thought it was the best thing ever! Nothing like the laughter of a child to make you stop and dance in the rain without a care in the world!

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T21:00:00.000-07:00

Carving pumpkins and dressing up...so much fun!

Fall Fun!

2011-10-25T20:11:00.000-07:00

Playing in the leaves! This fall went by so fast but we did get a chance to get out and play in the leaves while they were still crunchy!

Brown County!

2011-10-08T20:29:00.000-07:00

What Indiana fall would be complete without a trip to Brown County?

Don't worry, there isn't actually a drop off on the other side that wall as it appears!

Bath time!

2011-10-06T20:09:00.000-07:00

We finally put both girls in the tub together. Haylea thought it was hysterical to have sissy in the tub with her! Hannah didn't seem to mind either...except the priceless look on her face when Haylea's butt was in her face!

Preschool!!

2011-09-10T18:53:00.000-07:00

My big girl started Preschool! Day one started off pretty rough...the morning was a battle and not because she didn't want to go because she didn't really know what was happening. I don't know what the problem was but everything we did was wrong. Wrong breakfast, wrong clothes, wrong EVERYTHING! We finally got out the door just in time as I quickly tried to get the cute "first day of school picture of my child standing by the door with her backpack on and big smile on her face" but clearly that was not happening! Instead I got a "I'm going to throw a tantrum because I am tired, hungry, and don't want this thing on my back!" Oh well...maybe next year!

We dropped her off and she went in with no problem. I think it helps that her class is the same room that they use for the church nursery so she is used to it. She just had no idea that she would be there for 4 hours instead of just one! I, on the other hand, was a little misty-eyed. I didn't cry but it was very strange! I remember saying "Now what do I do??"

Pick up was so exciting! She was so happy to see us and was in the BEST mood ever! Total 180 from the morning. I guess she likes school!

Waiting to pick up my big sissy from school!

Day 2...not much better but progress!

Cloth Dipes!

2011-09-01T19:01:00.000-07:00

So we started cloth diapering. Totally the best thing I have ever done for my girls. And who doesn't love a cute fluffy butt!? I have had fun trialing different dipes and trying to figure out which ones we like the best to complete our stash. Of course, I am sure I will change it up as time goes on but I am excited to be able to save our family some money and do something good for not only my girls but for the environment as well. I started out with just one of a few different brands and have sort of narrowed it down to a couple different brands. We have "daddy/babysitter" diapers and then some that are a little more involved that mommy takes care of. Although daddy does a pretty good job...he just doesn't spray off poopy!

Here are some pics of my little fluffy butts!

Hannah's Baptism

2011-08-28T18:51:00.000-07:00

Haylea's SECOND Birthday!

2011-08-18T18:00:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I have a 2 year old! Since Hannah was born she has looked and seemed so much bigger and less and less like a baby every day. Her birthday was, of course, Elmo themed since she is OBSESSED with Elmo!

Aunt BB helped me decorate the Sesame St. Cupcakes!

Haylea wasn't quite sure about the big Elmo...she wouldn't get too close!

Abby Cadabby shirt from Aunt BB! Hannah was content just hanging out with mommy during the party!

Dorothy! Just like Elmo's fishy. :)

Summer Fun...and updates!

2011-08-15T18:51:00.000-07:00

This summer is becoming exhausting yet so exciting. I love seeing my girls interacting with each other and I know it will only get more and more fun as time goes on. I am just in awe of how much Haylea loves her little sister. She wants to be near her all the time and has to give her hugs and kisses first thing in the morning. We have had a lot going on this summer so far! We haven't really had anything more going on with the potty training. She had that one week where she seemed interested but now it is pretty much not happening! Oh well...we will try again when she is ready.

Haylea had her first dentist appointment and it was...interesting! She actually did really well. Her dentist was really sweet and quick! She explained everything she was doing and actually got the electric toothbrush in there and even flossed! She has a bit of a crossbite so overcrowding might be an issue later on. No surprise there...she takes after mommy! She has also been continuing with physical therapy and she is doing so well! She loves her therapist Miss Nikki and is just walking and almost even running everywhere! Of course the best part of PT is the stamps Miss Nikki gives her if she does a good job...and she gets them every time!

We also totally re-did the playroom! I love how it turned out. We did chalkboard paint on half the wall and it is totally the cutest playroom EVER! Haylea thinks it is pretty cool too!

This summer has been super hot and with Hannah we don't get out too much because I am afraid of her getting overheated. We have played a lot in the playroom, in the driveway (sidewalk chalk!), in her little baby pool out back and of course at mawmaw and pop's pool! We are trying to soak in every minute of this summer before mommy goes back to work. :(

We have had some fun days out trying to enjoy the summer despite the heat. We had a picnic in the park with MawMaw and the boys. It was hot and sweaty but Haylea didn't seem to mind...she loved her PB & J and then had her first Sno Cone! Hannah just took a nap!

Playin in the driveway...when Haylea wasn't scared of cars and trucks driving by and when we were in the shade we actually had a good time!

Hannah trying to stay cool in the shade!

We spent a few days at MawMaw and Pop's pool this summer as well...not as much as we would have liked but hopefully next year we will be able to go more when Hannah is older and I won't have to worry about an overheated baby!

We also tried to beat the heat in our own backyard...Haylea seemed to stay cool but the baby pool wasn't quite deep enough for mommy!

Hannah has started sleeping in her big girl bed! She sleeps so much better in her bed than Haylea ever did at this age. It is sort of bittersweet moving her out of our room though. Haylea on the other hand...she is slowly transitioning to her big girl bed but isn't quite sure how to put herself to sleep! We read to her, tell her goodnight and leave. She ends up coming out of her room, knowing she can't come into our room, and she falls asleep in the hallway. It is sad but hilarious at the same time!

Baby Girl's New Bed!

2011-07-06T21:33:00.000-07:00

Only the best for my little girls. Custom furniture built by daddy. :) Hannah spend her first night in her bed and did so good! Mommy didn't sleep too well with her being all the way down the hall but we had our special cuddle time in the middle of the night during feeding time. I am so proud of the beautiful furniture my husband has created for both my babies. I hope it is something they treasure forever.

4th of July!

2011-07-04T21:17:00.000-07:00

We spend the day swimming and having fun at Maw Maw and Pops for the 4th of July. My babies looked soo cute in their little matching dresses! Hannah got in the pool for the first time. I think she liked it...she slept right through it! Haylea is starting to love the water, we have to watch out or she will try to dive in without anything! Haylea wasn't too sure about the fireworks. She tends to be afraid of loud noises but she did ok sitting on BB's lap and watching. Hannah slept through that part too!

One Month...

2011-06-22T11:11:00.000-07:00

Hannah is one month old today! I am pretty sure I have gotten my first smile to celebrate the occasion. The month has flown by and I am having so much fun staying home with my girls. I am not even halfway through my maternity leave but I am already dreading going back to work. I will never get these days back and will never have another opportunity to be with them all day every day. I am going to enjoy it while it lasts and be thankful that when I do go back to work that I only work 2 days a week. Hannah is starting to really be awake for longer periods of time and actually engaging us when we talk to her and she is beginning to bat at her toys and really stare at things...trying to figure out this world! She has already gained 1 lb since birth and is quickly getting close to outgrowing her newborn size clothes and diapers.

Haylea is becoming such a big girl too. We have started talking about potty training. She voluntarily went potty for the first time last week and it totally shocked me! She isn't quite ready to go full commando just yet because she doesn't always know when it is coming and can't really tell us. We will work on it...on her time of course. In other big girl news, we have put Haylea in her big girl bed! She loves it and sleeps all night in it with no problems. Right now one of Haylea's obsessions is books. No matter how many times I pick them up and stack them away, she pulls them all out again. She can sit and flip through them for hours or will constantly bring them to us to read to her. We have started going to the library so that we don't get sick of reading the same books a million times! Haylea is also an amazing big sister. She will go try to comfort Hannah when she is crying and loves to hug and kiss her. She has even been seen putting her pacifier in Hannah's mouth for her! Such a sweet, caring nature. We have also been continuing her physical therapy and she is about a 50% walker now! She is getting steadier and more confident in walking. She has improved so much in the past few weeks and I am encouraged that she will be caught up to where she should be by this fall/winter. Her verbal communication is beginning to take off as well. She isn't really gaining words (at least any that we understand!) but she is much more expressive and tries to tell us what she wants/needs. We decided to discontinue the developmental therapy because it wasn't really appropriate for Haylea. If anything we might begin speech therapy but have to discuss it with our first steps coordinator first.

One month old...with big sister Haylea.

Big girl in her bumbo! 4 weeks.

I love my sissy!

Tummy time...4 weeks old.

Big girl bed...reading with daddy.

Potty time!

Got mommy's keys and credit card! Let's go shopping!

On their way to their first daddy-daughter dance!

Lovestruck...

2011-06-01T10:40:00.000-07:00

I finally have a quiet moment to reflect on the last week and a half of my life since Hannah is napping and Brian took Haylea out for a day at the zoo. I should be napping as well but I don't want to miss an opportunity to document how I feel at this very moment. It has been a whirlwind already. Hannah is already changing so much. I see a lot more of me in Hannah, however, she still looks like Haylea who looks nothing like me! Genetics are a funny but amazing thing.

Haylea has changed so much in the last week as well and I don't know if it is because now I am comparing her to Hannah or if she has just taken off in development in the last week. I think it is a little of both. She started taking steps on her own over the weekend and not just a few...once she figured out she could do it she has really taken off. She isn't a full-time walker yet but she is certainly getting the hang of it. I think it is helping that mommy and daddy are both home full time right now to give her full time attention and interaction. She is just amazing me every day. I can't wait to spend all summer with my two girls watching them grow and learn. I know it is going to go by incredibly fast though which makes me a little sad.

Right now I just want to soak in every moment and be able to appreciate my two little blessings.

Hannah Grace Finch

2011-05-25T10:13:00.000-07:00

Hannah Grace Finch was born at 1:17pm on Sunday May 22, 2011. She was 7lb 4oz, 20 inches long and absolutely perfect!

Looking back 3 days after her birth what seemed like a day that was so far away happened in a flash. The last few weeks of my pregnancy seemed to drag on and I was beginning to be in so much pain. I was scheduled to be induced on Monday May 23rd and I was counting down the days. After my last OB appt the Thursday before I got a call from my OB wanting to reschedule my induction for a day earlier! Ummm...YES please! I was so excited to meet my baby girl and finally be pain free. Then the anxiety hit. Yes, it was only one day ahead of schedule but it became real. It was really going to happen and soon! Haylea and I spend the weekend with MawMaw and Pop while daddy stayed home and made sure the house was clean and ready for Hannah (with the help of Gram and Gramps of course). Saturday night we all met for dinner at the Cheesecake Factory for mommy's last guilt-free pregnancy craving! That night Haylea went to stay with Gram and Gramps while we were going to be in the hospital. I cried when I had to let her go. It would be the longest I would ever be away from my baby. I knew she would come visit but I couldn't be there for her like I always had been. When Brian and I got home to an empty house (even the dog went to stay with MawMaw and Pop) I thought we would have time to just relax for the last evening being parents of just one child. I was wrong...Brian felt sick and wanted to get checked out so off he went for a strep test. Positive. Nice...here we were about to have a new baby and daddy was sick. I was afraid of passing anything on to the baby but also wanted Brian to be able to enjoy the day and was worried he would be miserable. He ended up wearing a mask in the hospital for 24 hours until he felt better just to be safe. Looking back we may laugh but at the time it was pitiful! Luckily, he didnt feel too bad...at least he didn't let on that he did.

Sunday morning we arrived at the hospital at 6am ready to go. I had been up since about 3:30am but slept pretty well before that (with the help of ambien!). Once we got settled in my OB came in and broke my water which almost immediately caused some contractions. I was already 3cm dilated when we started the process. Soon after that the nurse started pitocin and we were on our way! Family started arriving and I was ready. I got to see Haylea and I was ready to meet my new little girl!! I remember with each contraction wishing they would get stronger. When they started getting to where I couldn't talk during them I asked for an epidural. Remembering how fast I dilated once I got going with Haylea, I wasn't about to risk missing my opportunity for the epidural! Once the epi was in I think the contractions slowed down some. Everyone left us to rest for a while and Brian and I both got a little nap in. Once I woke up I remember feeling a little pressure with each contraction and I started getting excited! I was 4cm around 10am. Around noon the pressure was getting a little more intense so I had the nurse check me again. 7-8cm. The nurse called my OB and we thought we had a little more time. I turned to my other side and immediately the pressure intensified just like what happened with Haylea. Just one or two contractions later and I felt the urge to push. The next contraction I felt her head move down significantly and knew it was time. I had the nurse check me again even though I had no doubt she was RIGHT there and her face said it all. She just said "ok" and left to call my OB again! When she called her she said "I am in the car what more do you want!" LOL I had to wait ten minutes...not nearly as bad as the 30 I had to wait for her when I had Haylea! I remember laughing between contractions and everyone getting so excited. My sister, for one, was as giddy as a school girl and totally cracking me up. I did have to tell them all to be quiet during contractions though and I think they all got a good laugh at my faces during them. Once my OB came in the room the mood intensified. I remember just feeling so at peace until I remembered what it felt like to push. I got scared and for a moment thought I couldn't do it. My epidural again only really worked on my left side. My right was a little tingly but never got numb. It was ok though...the worst was the pressure anyway not nessesarily the pain. Although, the ring of fire is intense! I remembered it with Haylea and I knew the better I pushed the quicker it would be over. The first push contraction came and I asked for the mirror. I knew that if I could see the progress it would motivate me. With my first push I heard my OB say "oh she has lots of hair!" OMG I was in shock...Haylea had NO hair! The next push I saw her hair and was amazed. The second contraction came and she moved down significantly. With the third contraction the pressure was crazy and I was determined not to have to wait for another one to get her out. I pushed one last time and this time remembered to keep my eyes open! When she first came out I could only see her in the mirror and immediately said "she looks just like her sister!" Brian cut the cord and they layed her on my chest. She was perfect. I was drying her off and turned her to face her daddy. She didn't cry much just like her sister. Here this whole time we thought she was going to come out like a ball of fire but she has proven to be as mellow as her sister...at least for now! Time will tell. When the nurse took her to the warmer Haylea was brought in to meet her sister. I was immediately brought to tears seeing both of my girls together. Haylea was interested but not quite sure what was going on. Once I got to hold them both in my arms together she began to smile and even gave Hannah kisses. Instant love.

Hannah's actual birth was a lot like Haylea's. Fast and relatively easy. The first few days with Haylea were difficult as we both had to learn how to breastfeed which wasn't easy when my milk didn't come in for 4 days. Hannah on the other hand was immediately latched on within an hour of birth and nursed like a champ! A combination of a mommy who knew what to do and milk coming in sooner has made for a much different nursing experience this time.

Today is day 3 and Hannah is still very mellow. I have had to wake her up every 2-3 hours to nurse and she eats then usually goes right back to sleep! I am completely in love. Not only with my new baby girl but with my new family. I feel like we are more complete of a family. I love how Haylea is doing being a big sister. She is very interested and hasn't shown any jealousy (yet!). She will give Hannah kisses and hugs and loves to look at her and touch her little hands. I look at them in amazement that they are mine and I get to watch them grow up together as sisters. I am so in love with my new family.

Last Belly Shot...on our way to the hospital!

I was so glad to see Haylea before Hannah was born. Once she was there I was ready to go!

Oh the pressure!

Hi baby girl!!

7 Pounds 4 Ounces

Daddy having the "talk".

Haylea meeting her new sister!

First family picture.

Introducing my two girls.

First skin to skin moment.

Haylea loves Hannah!

Day 2

Haylea got a new bracelet from mommy and daddy for being such a good big sister!

Going home!

Big sister, Little sister.

Physical Therapy and Eviction...I mean Induction date!

2011-05-03T08:03:00.000-07:00

Today was Haylea's first physical therapy appointment and it went really well! Her therapist was super sweet and Haylea took to her right away. She didn't do a whole lot this first session according to her but I think she did quite a bit! First we sat down and talked about or goals and the things we want to work on while Haylea played. While we talked the therapist (Nicole) was observing Haylea move around the room to get an idea of where she was physically. After our talk (and after Haylea heard me talk about Baby Signing Time, her favorite video) we put the video in and Nicole sat Haylea on an exercise ball and basically bounced her for about 20 min. Haylea loved it and had no idea she was actually doing toddler sit ups the whole time. She just watched her show and giggled now and then. By doing this we were working on improving her core body strength because a strong core will help support the rest of her body...and we will work our way down. Nicole said she does think her muscles are a little low tone from not using them due to being unstable because of the flexibility. I think when the orthopedist was adamant that it wasn't low tone, he meant her main problem wasn't low tone but was flexibility. The low tone comes secondary to the flexibility. I understand all of that and I am no longer worried about some sort of underlying condition causing her issues. Basically once we get her walking and running and get those muscles stronger as well as tightening up her joints to feel more stable she will be on her way and never look back. Nicole was very encouraging and thought Haylea was well on her way already because her desire is there, she participated in every exercise and because some of the things she had in mind to work on Haylea already does or tries to do. Our homework for the week is more bouncing on the exercise ball (holding on to her thighs and not her upper body so that Haylea has to use her muscles to keep her balance), alternating steps walking up stairs, and work on a verbal cue to encourage her not to W sit. Sitting like that is easy for her because of the flexibility but we want to tighten up her joints not keep them stretched so we want to discourage sitting like that. Overall, I was impressed with our first session. Nicole said sometimes it takes up to three sessions to get a kid to warm up to her and let her bounce them on a ball and Haylea did it right away and let her do it for quite some time. I am very proud of my baby girl!

The next exciting thing is that we now have an eviction date...I mean an induction date for miss Hannah! Unless she has other plans, Hannah will be in my arms on May 23rd! Just 3 weeks away! I am excited, nervous, anxious...but most of all READY! I am ready to meet her and ready to not feel like a whale! I do have my days where I am miserable but really I can't complain. This pregnancy has been exhausting but that is to be expected. I am uncomfortable, more when I am tired and cranky, but overall not too bad. Ask me again after I work 12 hours tomorrow and I might tell you a different story though! Even though I am not even through this pregnancy I think I am already forgetting all the bad stuff. I remember thinking the first trimester would last forever but I am already forgetting exactly how awful I felt. This pregnancy seemed to fly by faster than Haylea's did. Probably because I didn't sit on the couch every day watching A Baby Story and obsessing about every little thing. I didn't have time! Now that we are so close and I can see light at the end of the tunnel it is very surreal but at the same time the anxiousness is starting to get the better of me and it is still seeming like 3 weeks is a long time away! I am trying my best to relax, take one day at a time, and prepare myself for the unknown of what is to come.

Haylea and Hannah

2011-04-26T13:17:00.000-07:00

In just 4 short weeks we will finally meet our new little girl! It really is just a short amount of time left but at the same time I feel like it is still ages away! I am getting really anxious to meet her and see who she looks like and if she looks anything like her sister. I am anxious to see how Haylea interacts with her and how this whole parent of two little girls thing works! I am also really getting excited about the whole labor and delivery thing. I know that may sound weird because I know a lot of mother's dread that part, mainly because of the pain, but because of the uncertainty of how things will pan out. I am actually excited that I have no idea what will happen. Who knows if it will be another fairly easy labor and delivery and who knows if I will get to have another vaginal delivery or if something will happen to require a c/section. Not that I am excited about anything going wrong, I am just excited and anxious to find out what WILL happen and HOW it will happen and make that memory. It is going to be a day I will never forget, regardless of how it happens and that is so exciting to me. I can't wait for that first moment when I hold her for the first time and that moment when Haylea comes in to meet her sister for the first time. I can't wait for that first picture of us...a family of 4! Wow...a family of 4. There was a time I thought it would be just Brian and I forever. The only part I am dreading is being away from Haylea for those 3-4 days. I have never been away from her that long and even though she will come to visit, I can't help but feel guilty not being there for her. I know she will be well taken care of so that isn't an issue, but I am her mommy so I think it is normal. I have never had to share my attention between two before so this will be a new adventure for us all.

Haylea also had an appointment today with an orthopedist to look at her feet. It actually went very well and I feel so much better about everything now. We didn’t really have to see the orthopedist but I just felt like I needed someone following her and maybe someone who could give us an answer as to WHY she has this problem. He was awesome and put my mind at ease so much. When he first came in Haylea was surprisingly in a good mood for 1pm and he made her laugh right away so that helped. He asked the normal “what brings you in today” so I told him that she was now 20 mo old and still not walking. I told him about the first steps evaluation and how they said she pronates and has low tone in her lower body and how we just got her orthotics a little less than 2 weeks ago. So he played with her feet and looked at her range of motion and had her stand, etc. He then told us that he in fact doesn’t think she has low tone at all because tone refers to muscle strength and he thinks her muscle strength is just fine. It is just that she is extremely flexible. She can still have her foot bent back to where her toes touch her shin bone, which is normal for an infant but not for a 20 month old! Same with her fingers and hips. She does sit in the W sit position a lot and you can take a leg and pull it out to the side and then stretch it out in front of her with no problem. So he thinks that the reason the orthotics weren’t a “magic” fix like I thought they would be is because her instability isn’t just in her feet but also her hips. She has had to pretty much re-learn how to stand with better alignment and I think just now we are back to where we left off before we got the orthotics as far as how much she will stand, and re-learning how to lift her legs to walk, etc. So now she feels stable when she is standing still but because her hips are also so flexible she is unstable lifting her legs to walk. Makes sense to me now that I think about it because she has been pulling up since she was 10 mo old (almost a YEAR ago!) and she definitely has muscle strength…try changing her diaper in the middle of a temper tantrum! He said he doesn’t see this being more than a temporary problem and once she does take off walking she should have no lasting effects of it, besides being very flexible. I was a very flexible child, my mom used to make me show every one my back bend where I could but my head between my toes…and even a bit further. I also roll my ankles all the time because they are so flexible. He also said it is more common for girls so Hannah might also have similar issues. But he stressed that he is confident it isn’t low tone. I mentioned my fear of a degenerative muscle disease or mild CP and he assured me that those things were highly unlikely because she has hit all other milestones on time and does have great fine motor skills. He also cleared up that while CP kids have a lot of flexibility until about the age of 2 when they actually start stiffening up, they are also very floppy (low tone). Haylea definitely isn’t floppy so that put my mind to ease about the whole low tone thing. He also said literally “Even if she does have a mild form of CP, the only thing that means for her since she has proven to hit all other milestones is that she doesn’t walk til she is 2. Big deal!” And he is right!

So all in all I feel much better. Much better knowing there is a reason she isn’t walking besides being stubborn like we originally thought but also knowing that most likely there is no underlying pathogenic cause other than just extreme flexibility and that she should have no lasting effects of this once she does learn to walk. He said give it another 4 months (till age 2) and if she isn’t walking by then we would look into it again but otherwise he doesn’t need to see her again. He thinks that once she learns to walk we will be able to wean her out of the orthotics and they are just a temporary need.

She will still do Physical Therapy because I figure even if we don't need to concentrate on muscle strengthening (although it won't hurt) we can still focus on balance and techniques to teach her how to walk and feel more stable. She will also still be doing the developmental therapy a couple times a month just because I feel like she needs a little help learning how to communicate better. Not so much that she NEEDS it because there is such a wide range of normal at this age as far as speech and communication but it won't hurt to boost things along right!?

It is going to be a challenge with a newborn and with a toddler who is just learning more independence but I think this summer is going to be so much fun and a learning experience for us all!

Long, overdue Update!

2011-03-29T11:01:00.000-07:00

So we have a name for our new little girl, Hannah Grace Finch. I really can't wait to meet her and the last few months have been so crazy but now we can finally concentrate on getting things ready for her. I had quite a few photo shoots this month and I was working a lot of extra shifts at the hospital to help prepare for my time off after she is born. Now it is almost April and I am 31 weeks along. It is getting so close! Brian is still working on furniture but we have the room painted and it looks amazing! I have organized all the newborn clothes and have them ready to go! I also hit the jackpot at the Indy Kids Consignment sale and stocked up on summer clothes. I told myself I didn't need anything for Hannah since we had all Haylea's clothes still but who can resist those tiny little sundresses and shorts!? I think Hannah got as much as Haylea did. But to be fair, most of the things I already had for Hannah weren't very summery since Haylea was born at the end of August. I have also gotten them a few matching outfits. I can't wait to dress up my litte girls!
I also have to apologize to Hannah for not taking as many belly pics as I did with Haylea. I know! I need to remember to have daddy take my picture soon!! I love having this little one in my belly and watching it grow. Even though I have experienced it before, it still amazes me that a little person is growing in there. Hannah definately moves around more than Haylea did but I think now she is beginning to run out of room because she has slowed down some. I do get some big movements in the evening...it is my favorite time to just sit and watch my belly going crazy! I am so excited to see how Hannah's personality is compared to Haylea. Haylea was such an easygoing baby and I would love for Hannah to be as well but for some reason I have a feeling Hannah is going to be a little more demanding! Haylea has hit an age where she is becoming pretty demanding as well so this should be interesting. She turned 19 months and I think she thinks she turned 2! The tantrums and meltdowns have begun. Most of the time they are easily fixed but there are times we have NO idea what the problem is! I can't blame her though. I imagine it is very frustrating to KNOW what you want but have no idea how to get it or how to communicate it.

As far as Haylea, we are still working on getting her to walk. She is now 19 months old and still not walking. At her 18 month check up her pediatrician recommended First Steps to evaluate why. At her evaluation, her therapist noticed immediately that she has very weak feet that causes her to pronate (turn her feet and stand on the inside of her feet) pretty severely. I felt like I should have noticed that a while ago but I didn't. I noticed she was wobbly but I figured when she started walking more that would strengthen her feet. I looked to see if she pointed her toes out to the side or walked on her toes but she didn't do any of that. Her pediatrician at her 15 month appt. convinced me that she was just a very cautious child and she would be walking soon. When the next 3 months went by with very little progress, I began to question that. Looking back I wish I had trusted my instinct and called First Steps after her 15 month appt. But I didn't...so you live and learn. I will be more proactive from now on when it comes to my babies. So the next step is an appointment with an orthopedist and a fitting for orthotics. The orthotics will help to stabilize her feet so that she feels more secure and confident standing and walking. I am excited for this. I know she WANTS to walk and she WANTS to be doing more physically but her feet are inhibiting her. With the orthotics she will be able to acheive all that and more. I can't wait to see her blossom with these! The therapist who evaluated her said she will most likely wear them long enough to go through two pair. Not sure how long that will be, I am guessing 6 months?? We will see. Whatever we have to do is fine with me. We have been going to Gymboree classes as well and I think seeing kids her age is helping her desire to be more physical and mobile. I also know that Hannah will be starting Gymboree classes much earlier in life. I really wish I had thought of it sooner with Haylea because she is really not around kids her age and I think that is an important step in development.

IT'S A GIRL!!

2011-01-15T17:31:00.000-08:00

After what seemed like an eternity we finally had our ultrasound on Thursday! Most importantly I wanted to make sure the baby was healthy and then I was dying to know "who" was in there! We saw a perfect 4 chamber heart, 3 vessel cord, normal brain and measurements were all right where they should be. Then the ultrasound tech said "are you sure you wanna know?" Ummm...YES! So she moved around for just a few seconds and said "You see those three lines?" AHHH! Another girl! Brian wasn't sure what the three lines meant until I said "Haylea had three lines!" I think I am still in shock...I thought for sure it was a boy this time. I think it is wonderful though. I can't wait for Haylea and her little sister to grow up and hopefully be best friends! They are so close in age that I hope they will have a lot of fun together as the years go on.

I think we may have a name but we are waiting to announce it until we are sure. I would say right now we are 95% set but...I might need a few days to let it sink in! Today we moved my craft room into the guest bedroom and all the stuff that was in there for storage went down to the basement. So this little girl is getting her own room and I can't wait to start decorating it and getting ready! Daddy is going to build her furniture just like he did for Haylea so I can't wait for him to get started on that as well. I went through all the baby clothes today and re-washed them all. I forgot how stinkin cute newborn onesies are! Haylea had some really cute outfits that I hated to put away when she outgrew them and now I get to use them again! Of course, we will have to buy a few new things as well. ;) I am halfway through this pregnancy so we better get going before I am so big I can't do anything anymore!

As I was clearing out the craft room and Brian was moving things downstairs for storage, we also had to bring out the baby gear. Brian all of a sudden said "Oh No...It came back to haunt us!" When I asked what he was talking about all I had to do was look into our bedroom where he had put the swing. And there she was...giggling and loving that stupid thing! We had a love-hate relationship with that dang thing. For MONTHS it was the only place she would sleep. Yeah, she slept in it so that was great but we just wanted her to sleep in her BED! But you do what you have to do and it got us through those months so for that I am grateful. So here she is...in the dang swing!

Snow Day...and Picture Day!

2011-01-11T17:00:00.000-08:00

We went out and played in the snow today...as you can see, Haylea didn't really care for it much! I don't think she really knew what to do. She just sat there and pouted. Ginger didn't mind though!

Earlier in the day I was supposed to have a photo shoot but because of all the snow we cancelled for now. So instead I decided it was time to take some new pictures of Haylea! She isn't really interested in that either. The only things she is interested in lately are her Ellie, the dog (doh), and food! I was able to get some shots though and she looked so cute in her little jean dress! Here are just a few of them with a cool vintage edit that I wanted to try out.

And a bunch from this week...we have been busy!

Ready to go shopping with mommy in my new super cool hat!

Haylea's new favorite thing to do is stand on a chair at the island to "help" us cook. Here she is helping daddy make mozzarella sticks for mommy's birthday party! YUMMY!

We have been giving Haylea a fork to eat with lately...not much food goes on it but she sure does try!

Haylea spent the day with Aunt BB and this is what happened! She actually let her put her hair in a piggy! I have been trying but she just hated it and threw a fit so I just stopped trying. Well not anymore...if BB can do it so can Mommy!

Daddy was cutting up fruit so Haylea was helping by putting this banana in a bowl for us. She just couldn't figure out how to get it to fit! Such a good helper.

This is what our hair looks like after we take the piggy down! Oh well...she is still stinkin cute even with her hair all wonky!

Cookin...with wonky hair.

Ultrasound is coming up!

2011-01-06T06:02:00.000-08:00

Our 20 week ultrasound to see how Gummy Bear is doing is one week from today!! I am so anxious to know "who" is growing in there. I can't wait to find out and start preparing the new nursery and getting clothes gathered and put away. Now that it is the first of the year and I am halfway through this pregnancy I am getting really excited to get everything ready for this baby. I am going to be a mommy of 2 in just a few months! Work has been hard the past few weeks...I am talking about seeing all the ultrasound machines and not being able to use them! It seems like everyday I work I see the ultrasound techs pushing around their machines to patient bedsides. I just want to grab their little probe and put it on my belly...just for a minute!

I am starting to prepare myself for sleepless nights and now that I have Haylea too, I will also have sleepless days because I won't be able to nap with the baby! I vaguely remember how exhausted I was with Haylea but I do remember how much I loved her naptime because it meant that I could rest too. Haylea will be starting preschool in the fall (makes me sad to think about it though!). It will be twice a week 9a-1p. Four hours is a long time to leave my baby girl! But I think it will give me a chance to get things done or rest with the baby. Hopefully that will be baby's naptime!

Expecting Baby #2!

2011-01-01T16:04:00.000-08:00

I decided to start a new blog for baby #2. It is a fresh start to a new life and one step closer to completing our family. At one time I never thought I would even be thinking about baby #2 let alone carrying that baby. After Haylea's first birthday we decided it was time to try again. Of course, given our history of miscarriages and fertility struggles, we were nervous but excited at the same time. We know how blessed we are to have Haylea and how much she changed our lives for the better and we just couldn't wait to add to the family. After spending the majority of 2 years trying to conceive our first, we thought we should get started as soon as possible because who knows how long it would take this time. In September, 2010 we went back to our fertility Dr. who agreed that we should stick to what worked to conceive Haylea. We went into that first cycle not expecting to conceive right away but hopeful that we would. We assumed it would take a few tries. However, on Sunday, September 12, 2010 I found the faintest of lines on my home pregnancy test. It was very early, but if you know me you know I CAN'T wait when it comes to testing! Each day after the line got darker and darker. It worked!! We were pregnant again! Now let the obsessing and worrying begin!

We wanted it to be a surprise this time. We didn't even tell anyone we went back to the Dr. to discuss trying again. My goal was to wait until we saw a heartbeat on ultrasound before telling anyone. When you find out you are pregnant when you are only 3 1/2 weeks along and your first ultrasound isn't until you are almost 7 weeks it is torture not telling your close family and friends! At least it is for me...I have no willpower with these sorts of things. I caved and we told our parents and my sister after my second set of labs came back with great results. I figured these people will know either way if something happens so I could use all the prayers I could get. Those prayers worked because at that first ultrasound we saw the most amazing little heartbeat. I had seen it with Haylea but you never forget that first ultrasound. Yes, the ones later on are fun because you see baby moving and kicking around and you can find out the gender. But the best by FAR is that first time you see that little flicker on the screen. At least it is for us...we went twice before with our first and third pregnancies hoping and praying to see it and unfortunately we didn't. It was horrible to look at that screen and see nothing moving. So after that experience we never thought we would see a heartbeat on that screen...and now we have seen two!

The next few weeks were rough. I was like a zombie. So exhausted and nauseous. Brian took over most of the household and parenting duties while I spent time in bed or on the couch. You would think such a tiny little person growing inside wouldn't take up so much of your energy but that is definitely not the case! The good thing was, as exhausted and sick as I felt, I rarely got sick which was a relief because with Haylea I was throwing up almost every day up until she was born!

So here we are. It is 1/1/11 and the start to a new year full of excitement for our family. I am currently 19 weeks pregnant (due May 27, 2011) and I can't wait to see what the year brings for us. Watching Haylea continue to grow and learn new things and in a few months welcoming our new bundle of joy into the world. It is going to be crazy and so much fun!

Here are a few pics to recap the past few months and begin the next step in our journey!

6 weeks...Beautiful Heartbeat!

8 weeks...Gummy Bear!

12 weeks...Waving Hi!

First Belly Pic...18 Weeks on Christmas Day 2010