Cooking Cleverly with Beverly

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

2023-10-23T10:51:00.000-07:00

I have meant to post, I swear.

As during my most recent "here I go again" post, I continue to be in training, continue to be pudgy, and continue to have an adorable family with differing dietary desires. Plus ca change....

I may return to keto, but I am not doing so right away. I have lots of stuff in the freezer that is carb-y, so I'll be working through that. I also do genuinely like carbs-- I was never one of those who was like "every low carb sub is as good as the original!"-- so who knows. If I can make progress without giving up my beloved pasta, I will. If not.... then I suppose we're back to zoodles. TBD.

I recently made time for exercise, which has been a great way to get back to myself. Too often, the days were filled with "wake, coax children into the day, work, cook, get kids to sleep, fall asleep myself........repeat." It was an interminable path to nowhere, and my job can be high impact on my mental/emotional health. Adding in a walk in the morning has given me a surprising amount of peace. Turns out I did need to "touch grass." I also am nixing my nightly wine as in reviewing my prior weight loss data, it was only when I did so that I made progress. YMMV.

For today, I offer nothing but my simple lunch for the week. I wanted something easy, tasty, comforting, and with sufficient protein. I used the TJ fried rice to add flavor... and because it was taking up real estate in my freezer. All said and done, I like it better as a side dish than as a soup component (it's AMAZING on its own), but it still made a great soup component. I ate my serving for today's lunch and felt appropriately full and content. I'm calling it a win, might do again and would add more broth (it ended up a bit stew-like) and some cilantro for a fresh pop.

Anyway, without further ado....

1 block extra firm tofu from wal mart, cubed into roughly 1.5 cm squared (3.36)

1 bag stir fry veggie mix from wal mart (2.48)

1 bag Japanese fried rice from trader joe's (2.99)

1 box miso ginger broth from trader joe's (1.99)

Unknown amount of sriracha, salt, pepper, soy sauce. You do you. I did not add these into cost.

Mix it all up, heat to a simmer and season to taste. Distribute as evenly as possible into 5 lunch containers. I actually did not mix the tofu into the soup originally and instead portioned tofu into containers before adding scoops of soup, but that's not necessary for the average, non-overly-focused-on-unnecessary-details person. Took 10 minutes maximum.

Again, not low carb, but fyi per Myfitnesspal....Calories: 350. Fat: 11g. Carbs 40g of which fiber are 3g. Protein 22g. Cost: 10.82 for recipe, 2.16 per serving. Somewhat on par at first glance with the high protein progresso soups, but more robust, better texture, obvious veggies, more protein, and lower sodium.

garlic+wine+lemon+garlic+garlic+garlic...+seafood

2022-08-13T12:16:00.000-07:00

Sorry, no photo of the finished pasta.... but it was gorgeous I promise

The local grocer had a special on scallops, which I love. Quick to cook, succulent and sweet, feel fancy with minimal effort (and at least for now, a reasonable price)! The local grocer also purported to have a special on deveined and peeled local shrimp. This, my friends, did not materialize though I visited two different locations on three days. Eva was with me on the second day, and when I grumbled about the false advertising, she said "well I guess they just want to get you into the store to buy stuff." I kid you not. Does she appreciate the guile she is describing? I'm not sure. But astute nonetheless.

Also, even though I left shrimpless, I was happy with my scallops as I could eat garlicy seafood of any derivation all day every day.

Both kids loved the dish, though one balked when she thought she could have frozen yogurt instead, so there are limits to their love. But... if the next best thing is frozen yogurt... still probably on the good side.

Not having yet fully committed to low carb, I served this with angel hair pasta, which suited the thin, silky olive oil sauce well. I imagine (and will try) zucchini noodles would be a good fit.

FYI this served us for two generous meals (two adults, one five year old, one two year old).

Recipe adapted from a few sources.

Ingredients:

1 pound Angel Hair Pasta
1 pound bay scallops
1/4 cup olive oil
5 cloves (big ones!) garlic, minced or pressed
4 T butter
1/2 cup white wine (pinot grigio for me)
1 large lemon, zest and juice
1/2 bunch parsley, chopped
salt, pepper, red pepper flakes to taste

How-to

1) Dry scallops with paper towel. Add water to pasta pot (we used our instant pot) and get it boiling.

2) Heat olive oil in saute pan on medium high heat. Add scallops, cook 1 minute, stir around and cook 1 minute more. Remove from skillet to a plate/bowl.

3) Add butter and garlic to oil and cook x 30 seconds to one minute. Add wine, lemon juice, lemon zest and cook 6ish minutes until slightly reduced and no longer smelling of alcohol. Add in parsley and stir through.

4) While sauce reduces, make pasta per directions, stopping at al dente.

5) Add scallops to sauce and mix well. Mix in pasta and a ladle of pasta water as needed, I moved pasta straight from instant pot to saute pan, which meant there was still a fair amount of water transferred. Finish with parsley scraps if you have them.

And, you know, go frolic in transylvania as you are temporarily repugnant to vampires.

The past is not dead, it's not even the past

2022-08-12T07:08:00.002-07:00

After many years of not blogging, here I am.

It has been an eventful few years! I went to medical school, had two kids, and have almost completed my residency. I moved across Texas, then across the country, now calling SC home (for now; Texas always calls back its own). I remain ever committed to good food.

Like so many people during the pandemic (oh yes, that too happened since I last blogged), and like so many women of increasing years, and like so many of us who all other excuses/reasons/rationalizations aside tend to gain weight... I gained weight. The past is the present. Ooops. I have made a few attempts at low carb eating in the past few years, but it's time to commit. In keeping with that, I will resume blogging, as the last time I did a good, consistent run of low carb with good weight results... I blogged.

That said, I have two kids and a carb loving husband. What to do.

The blog will, therefore, be a bit all over the place. That's fine by me as I expect many of us have similar lives. However, while food will be the theme, sometimes the important feature will be cost, or kid friendliness, or what quinoa salad my husband liked. I cook lunches for him (no restrictions, impeccably strong metabolism), meals and snacks for toddlers who alternately eat the universe and exist on air, and myself.

No recipe today. I promised my kids frozen pizza, and I'll have some crudite (read: clean out the veggie drawer). More to come. Side note... the Great Value rising crust pizza (now approx $3.50 in SC) is tasty, easy, and feeds two toddlers and one man. That's my tip of the day.

Low carb "Bubble tea"

2015-03-04T12:15:00.002-08:00

Bubble tea is the divisive issue of my food life. I have had friends who, on first taste, spit it out and look at me as if I were trying to poison them. Then there are people like my mom who cannot be trusted to leave my beverage alone if I run to the bathroom for two seconds, even if I'd brought her a cup of her own. True story.

In case you are unfamiliar, the base for bubble tea is tea+tapioca pearls+sugar+(optional cream)=HEAVEN. But, you know, tapioca is a starch, sugar is sugar. This is one of those indulgent foods even when you are not on a diet. But I bring you hope! Enter chia seeds.

First encountered by those of us 90s kids through the famous/infamous/laughable Chia pet (I cherished a Homer Simpson chia pet that I received at a white elephant exchange), chia seeds are here to save the day. When soaked, they expand to at least 5 times their size (one source says they taken on ten times their weight in water) and have a gelatinous coat that mimics bubble consistency nicely. As an added bonus, the seed provides some crunch/pop. On the nutrition side, they are very healthy, providing protein, omega-3, and lots of fiber plus a variety of other nutrients. But really, it's the texture that I love, and it ends up being WAY cheaper than bubble tea even though chia is itself not that cheap--keep in mind that one tablespoon= a GIANT serving (pictured above). Winning.

To prepare, I just soak in water so I can make up my mind about what beverage to pair it with the moment I want to drink, but chia happily expands in coconut and almond milk, so I imagine it expands in coffee, tea, and fruit juices. The world is your chia oyster.

In the event you want to dabble in chia before committing to a pricey bag, many stores with bulk bins stock chia. Trader Joe's and Costco do provide reasonably priced chia, but my Sprouts puts it on sale often enough at a lower price than either of those two.

This is not even a recipe, either. Surely a bona fide recipe requires more effort.

1 T chia (one-half ounce)
1 packet stevia
1/2 c water

Mix together and put in fridge for 5 hours to overnight. Scoop amount desired into cold or hot beverage of choice. Will probably expand a little more. Stir. Sip. Smile. Caveat: needs the big straws due to occasional clumping.

Basic nutrition: 4.5 g fat, 2 g protein, 1 net carbs, 5 grams (!) of fiber and provides a fair amount of manganese and phosphorous.

Pork chops with sliced mushrooms and mustard cream sauce

2015-03-03T06:51:00.001-08:00

This is why my pork chops are coming up to temperature behind closed doors:

He doesn't seem to care about mushrooms, but he did give them a good sniff. Such a great little carnivore.

It's been a while since I've blogged. At a certain point, I was just exhausted from a number of factors, not the least of which was the medical school interview trail. This same trail also made staying on my diet really difficult, and I've gained back some of the weight. But I have no more interviews planned, so I am happy to be back in the kitchen and back to the blog!

In terms of medical school, so far I have been accepted to one of my top three schools, and I'm still waiting to hear from the other two. I also have received a scholarship from another school that might outweigh my preferences. I am extraordinarily pleased and humbled by these opportunities. This does mean that my blogging might be limited after school starts, as this will be another rigorous endeavor. I do love me a challenge!

For today, though, I am prepping my lunches for the week. Given that it's COLD here in North Texas, I want something warm and comforting. As I walked the aisles of Costco, the pork chops beckoned to me. They were thick, pretty, and 3.50 off. The Dutch in me really does love a good deal. And what goes better with pork than mustard cream sauce.... and I saw a really nice selection of mushrooms.... and I had a GIANT head of cauliflower in the fridge.... So, as often happens in life, the little factors all came together to make one lovely dish.

Now, pork is a meat that I love. A good pork chop is a divine thing. But I'm always afraid of not cooking it enough and dying or of overcooking it and crying. I should just cough up the money and buy an instant read thermometer.... For me, for these 1" thick chops, a cast iron skillet well heated for 4 minutes to sear the side, flipped and baked for 30 minutes at 350 worked out just fine. And, you know, smothering them in a cream sauce never hurts.

Tips and thoughts: You can slice mushrooms and chop onions while chops bake. I also use pinot grigio for most of my wine needs in cooking if not shooting for a particular flavor profile. It's generally easy-going. And this could totally look gorgeous if well plated.... I'm just putting it straight into tupperware because there are lots of gorgeous food photos out there, but I pretty much just cook so I can eat.

Edit: I really ended up eating half a serving per day because the chops are HUGE. Nutrition and cost are accordingly edited. No pretty photos of finished meal, but it looked like a pork chop with mushrooms and cream.... Surprising, huh.

Ingredients:
chops and sauce:
4 pork chops that have rested for a bit
2 T honey dijon or straight dijon
Salt and pepper
1/4 c white wine
1/2 c heavy cream
1 T mustard
1 package of mushrooms, sliced
1 onion, chopped
1/2 tsp garlic salt

Steps:
1) Preheat oven to 350. Season pork chops with salt and pepper and smear with mustard of your choice.
2) Heat up your cast iron skillet for a few minutes at high. Sear pork chop for 3-4 minutes, flip them, and put the skillet in the oven.
3) Put chops aside on a plate and cover with foil tent.
4) Deglaze the pan with white wine and stir that around a bit.
5) Add onions and cook until translucent. Add mushrooms and cook down. Add mustard and garlic salt, stir until well combined. Add cream and stir til it's luscious. Pour sauce over chops and serve with pureed cauliflower or other side of choice.

Cost (very rough cost wise)
4 giant chops at $1.45 apiece: 5.8
mustard: .5
white wine: .5
cream: 1
mushrooms: 2.5
onion: .5
salt: .1
Per serving: 1.36

Nutrition:

Microwave burritos

2014-05-18T10:16:00.000-07:00

Soooooo I apparently erased all the photos from my blog.

Oops.

I was just trying to free up space in Google via my fancy schmancy new phone, and I figured that since they were posted to the blog, I didn't need them any more. I did not realize that the sync settings on my phone would erase all photos EVERYWHERE. FOREVER.

Not that it is a huge loss to humanity, I suppose.

Thankfully, the recipes remain, but you'll have to use your imagination for visualizing the end product.

This recipe, however, is present in not only all its recipe glory but also in photo glory. Notice that at the center of this artistic composition there is a beer. This is how burritos are meant to roll.

I hope you can see that this provides 15 Freebirds-sized burritos (there is another cookie sheet somewhere). And each one clocked in at around $1.25. It requires a little set up (all said and done takes an hour) but pays off nicely in Tom's lunches for half a month!

Stations

RICE

1/2 onion, chopped

1 T oil

2 cloves garlic, pressed

1 C Rice

1 T chili powder

1 can Rotel

1 tsp cumin

1 tsp garlic salt

2 C (scant) broth

1) Saute onion and garlic in oil until translucent. Add rice, brown (2-3 minutes). Add chili powder, cumin and stir a bit. Add rotel, garlic salt and broth. Bring to boil. Cover and set to low for 20 minutes.

MEAT

1 rotisserie chicken, 1 c salsa.

1) Debone chicken, chop relatively finely and toss with salsa.

OTHER

15 count large tortillas

1 can beans (more if you like lotsa beans)

2 C cheese (or, you know, more...)

1 onion, chopped and sauteed

1 bag roasted veggies (peppers and onions) (trader joe's)

1 bag roasted corn (trader joe's)

1) Heat beans on stove. Sautee up the veggies, and heat the corn in a saucepan.

Then, super simple, assemble! Smear some beans down middle of tortilla, add rice, cheese, meat, veggies, corn. Fold up. Serve. For bonus points, serve covered in queso. You can also toast in the oven, but the burrito, er, rehydrates in the fridge, so if you want to do that, do so immediately before serving.

Reheats pretty well (not crispy but survivable burrito texture) in two minutes.

Chicken Gumbo

2014-05-12T18:24:00.001-07:00

I have now been to the Tabasco factory twice. Once, as a teenager, my mom took us. I remember the immediate tingle in my nose as I stepped out of the car. The oak trees dripping with Spanish moss and the dense St. Augustine grass were so familiar... and yet my nose told me something was very much amiss with the other vegetation!

The second time was last year with Tom on vacation. Tom and I love spicy food, though he sometimes snubs Tabasco as being too vinegar-y. I hoped that stepping foot on the lands that fostered that great American sauce would persuade him.

Upon arrival, we were SO RELIEVED to get out of the car that we were quite content to watch a fun (campy) film before seeing the very vats in which Tabasco is made through plated glass. We took the complete tour behind a French couple and their kid (and, uh, since the had consular plates, we might have tried (to no avail) to figure out who they were via a sloooooow Google). We toured the gift shop. We sampled every sauce variation Tabasco makes. We bought gifts and souvenirs and might even have run back to the front of the museum for photos.

Despite all that and a small stare down with a gator (I won), Tom remains iffy on Tabasco.

And yet, when I make gumbo, it is the sauce that fits even in Tom's eyes. Sriracha just does not. Pureed roasted jalapenos... nope. Tabasco, in its vinegar-y glory, sings. I like to think of it as tying us to the cajun heritage, a small victory that makes some maman somewhere smile just a bit sphinx-like.

And, you know, gumbo is just good eats, y'all. With or without tabasco.

For those of you who gasp at the use of flour on a "low carb" recipe, please rest at ease. It comes out to less than a teaspoon per serving but adds a very nice thickness and nuttiness to the overall dish. My nutrition facts below account for the flour. Clearly, if you are avoiding gluten gratis gluten, omit. It doesn't "need" thickening and makes a fine stew without--the okra provides surprising body on its own.

I... don't like handling raw chicken. Ew. So I just toss the chicken into the pot, let it cook, and pull it out about 20 minutes into simmer time to chop. You could also use rotisserie chicken, or you could be a less "blech!" person than me and just cut it into bite size pieces before cooking. As you do.

2 T butter (or, you know, more)
2 T flour

1 tsp thyme

3 cloves garlic, minced or pressed

1 bag mixed peppers and onions

1 bag cajun mirepoix
1 bay leaf
1 T Chacheres
14 oz andouille sausage, sliced (typically one package 'roun these parts)

2 bags sliced okra
1 can diced tomatoes
broth/water as needed to cover
2 lbs chicken breast (slice into bite-sized pieces before cooking or pull out and slice after)

1) Make a roux by melting the butter and stirring the flour around. THIS IS NOT HARD, it is not advanced cookery. Don't be intimidated. It is "put on some music, sing about 5 songs karaoke-style while stirring flour in a pot" cookery. At that point, it should be brownish. I like mine about the color of the skin on raw pecans. After that, I get super nervous that I'm going to ruin my whole dish, but that's probably silly.
2) Add pepper/onion bag, mirepoix bag, garlic, Chacheres, bay leaf, and thyme, cook through. Add water to cover.
3) Add sausage, okra, chicken, tomatoes. Add water and equivalent broth bouillon or what have you. Let cook 20ish minutes. Slice chicken (if necessary) and return to pot.
4) Eat. Serve with your favorite Louisiana hot sauce. Pour moi, le tabasco.

Serving Size 1/8th recipe

Amount Per Serving

Calories

403

Calories from Fat

179

% Daily Value*

Total Fat

19.9g

31%

Saturated Fat

7.9g

40%

Trans Fat

0.0g

Cholesterol

140mg

47%

Sodium

564mg

24%

Potassium

557mg

16%

Total Carbohydrates

9.9g

Dietary Fiber

3.3g

13%

Sugars

3.9g

Protein

46.2g

Vitamin A 17%	•	Vitamin C 42%
Calcium 8%	•	Iron 13%

Team Meet the Heat Chili Cookoff Chili!

2014-01-07T18:27:00.000-08:00

Look at that gorgeous shade of red!

I occasionally become a randomly freakishly competitive person.

Randomly in that I will be struck by some odd thing at which I MUST EXCEL AND NOT ONLY EXCEL BUT CONQUER WITH ABSOLUTE SUPREMACY. I guess I just showed the level of freakishness. I can't predict when this will hit, and I can't tell you how amused I am with myself when it does.

When Tom emailed me from his office a few weeks ago with news of a chili cookoff, the old bug hit, and I knew it was going to be an epic battle. Perhaps it's because I'm still sad that I didn't even place at the last church chili cookoff. Apparently my chili was too hot. That doesn't make sense to me at all. 1) We are in Texas. 2) It wasn't that hot. 3) It's a chili cookoff--isn't hot part of the goal?! 4) It's TEXAS. I do need to say that there were some serious contenders in that cookoff, so I can't cry too hard. But still. I was dishonored. So now I sought glory not only for Tom (I mean what better bragging rights at a British company than the best ever chili?) but also foodie redemption for myself.

I, in spite of my fervor, did not win the chili cook off. The chili that won was a chicken chili with beans and capers. CAPERS?!?! The judges were British, fwiw, and I suppose I didn't pander to my audience enough. Sigh.

But redemption DID come when we took a dish of this to friends who returned from a mission trip abroad. The next week at church, one of them exuded that it was the BEST. CHILI. EVER. with those big eyes that mean business. Since these are well-traveled people with excellent food taste, I will consider this an unofficial chili cook off victory.

Official victory will be achieved one day soon!

Be prepared: this is a multi-hour adventure. But cooking is therapy! And I have made it as time-efficient as possible.

Ingredients, grouped by prep
10 jalapenos
4 poblanos
4 anaheim peppers
2 serrano peppers
1 onions, sliced into broad rounds
6 cloves garlic, separated but not peeled

1 lb dried chilis (I used .5 lb ancho, .3 lb guajillo, .2 lb pasilla)

1 small can chipotles
2 c beef broth

5 lbs beef
4 T bacon grease
4 T cocoa powder
2 T cumin
1 tsp liquid smoke
1 T oregano
2 dashes cinnamon
1 tsp salt
2 T almond butter
4 T tomato paste
1 bottle beer (Shiner, of course)
1 c coffee
3 cans fire roasted tomatoes
2 cans rotel
1 jar roasted green peppers
1/4 c masa

Step 1: preheat oven to 400. Wash peppers. USE GLOVES for the next part.* Cut jalapeños in half lengthwise and scrape out seeds, do same with serrano. Put all as well as sliced onion and garlic cloves on oiled cookie sheet and put in oven. Let cook 15 minutes.

In the meanwhile, snap stems off dried peppers and shake out seeds. USE GLOVES NO REALLY USE GLOVES.* I found it easiest to snap the top off, stick my index finger in and scrape the seeds out that way. Too many seeds=too hot chili later. This took me just a minute over 15 minutes. Put peppers on a cookie sheet in single layer.

At 15 minute point, take the cookie sheet with garlic and onion out of oven. Flip onion, remove garlic, put back in oven. If other (fresh) peppers are not sufficiently charred, put them back in oven. I had to roast another 20 minutes. Put dried peppers in oven for 2 minutes--no more or they will burn! Take them out, put them in a giant pyrex bowl and cover with water as hot as it comes from your tap. Put a plate on them to weigh them down. Let them sit 15 minutes. Drain and rinse (here's where the dust comes off)

At this point, you should have the dried peppers, garlic, and jalapeños ready (plus other peppers). Put 3 jalapeños, 3 cloves garlic (which you can now just squish out of their wrappers), 1/2 can chipotles, 1/2 onion, 1 c broth into a food processor. Put in half of the dried/reconstituted peppers. Pulse until you can puree it. I had to wrap it in a towel to keep it from splashing. Pour into pyrex bowl, repeat with other half onion, peppers, 1 c broth, 1/2 can chipotle, 3 jalapeños and 3 cloves garlic. Pour into bowl.

Start beef browning in pot with bacon grease. (I did this in two parts; accordingly, put in half of each ingredient if you do so) While it's browning, peel and chop the anaheim and poblano chiles. Put them in the bowl with the massive amount of chile puree. After beef is mostly cooked through, add cocoa powder, cumin, cinnamon, salt and oregano. Let mingle. Add in almond butter. Add in beer, tomatoes and rotel and let simmer for 30 minutes or until the beer no longer smells of alcohol. Add in the coffee, giant vat of puree and chopped peppers and jar of roasted peppers. Add in masa. Stir well to mix, and cook at least 30 minutes more. Let sit on the stove to fill your house with delicious aroma.

All said and done, it takes about 2-3 hours, but some of that is wait and stir time. Not too bad for a dish that will keep on giving!

*If you should get pepper juice/oil/magma on your hands, use alcohol to scrub them thoroughly.

Serving Size 160 g

Amount Per Serving

Calories

274

Calories from Fat

% Daily Value^*

Total Fat

11.1g

17%

Saturated Fat

4.0g

20%

Trans Fat

0.0g

Cholesterol

85mg

28%

Sodium

287mg

12%

Total Carbohydrates

11.3g

Dietary Fiber

3.5g

14%

Sugars

4.8g

Protein

30.1g

Vitamin A 141%	•	Vitamin C 19%
Calcium 3%	•	Iron 105%

Nutrition Grade A-

* Based on a 2000 calorie diet

Corndogs-- low carb and grain free

2013-11-16T11:15:00.001-08:00

There was one word for me at the State Fair this year: underwhelmed. Yep, that's right. It was a classic case of the philosophy principle (and bonus point for you if you know who said it and leave a comment!) that indicates that expectation is the purest/highest form of pleasure you can attain because the reality never measures up.

Alternately, the fair just legitimately had an off year.

For me, it came down to the food, though the fact it was POURING RAIN probably did not help. Thankfully, I am really into food and had mapped out what I wanted to eat and where it was, for the most part. I was there with Tom and my friend Ben, and they are both SUCH good sports. We were mostly content as we hid in the GMC insta-building with their sales people (no sir I do NOT WANT a 65k SUV I could never drive or park, kthnxbye) before ducking into the food court. Besides, who are we kidding. We came to see the butter sculpture, the award-winning knitted pieces a friend of mine had made, and the food.

Oh, glorious food court. It held much promise... and many people. The folks who would normally be getting their photos with Big Tex or riding the ferris wheel (both worthwhile ventures at the State Fair) were all huddled inside the steaming building. We happily found two dishes I wanted-- the fried elotes and the fried shrimp and grits-- which for me proved to be the two good dishes of the day, though the shrimp and grits could have been shrimpier. Props, mad props to the elotes vendors! Tom and Ben both wanted to try the cuban roll, which was this year's winner. I am a fussy pants, and I DON'T like rain, especially in my food (wet fried food? NO), so I was not keen on getting anything that was from outside the dry building. Tom was more of a champ, and off he went to the Cuban Roll stand 20 yards outside the door. He came back with 2 Cuban Rolls... which were each very small eggrolls. The mojo sauce was decent, but the roll mostly tasted like pulled pork. Pickles, ham, cheese, anything else... nope. Just pork. Later we had fried nutella, which was pretty much a teaspoon (A FREAKING TEASPOON) of nutella in puff pastry, and avocado fries, which came with a weird cumin sauce, an excessive amount of breading/lack of seasoning and none of the toppings promised in the menu. These last three had been a huge impetus for fair food fantasizing, and they all fell short.

False advertising, people, will make me madder than anything. I don't mind *reasonably* small portions at the fair-- I know there's a huge sunk cost just to be there. But give me something tasty that is how you describe it, and while small is acceptable, insultingly so is not! Keep in mind that each dish at the fair is 5-7 dollars, so it's not like I'm asking the moon for $2.

ANYWAY.

One of the fair staples is a corn dog, but I'd spent all my money on the fancy foods and was therefore out of luck. Perhaps that's the deeper message I should learn from that day-- don't be seduced by flash-in-the-pan magic that is too good to be true. Stick with the time-proven winners. But then again, a few years ago I had the fried chicken and waffles, and THAT WAS DELICIOUS.

I digress.

Corndogs! I serve mine with the classic French's yellow mustard, but you are welcome to fancy pants it up and use Dijon. And, because I'm not only not a fancy pants with this but also a lazy pants, I baked instead of fried.

4 hot dogs
4 popsickle sticks
1 c almond flour
1.5 tsp baking powder
1 packet sweetener
1/2 tsp salt
2 egg
2 T cream

Skewer those hot dogs-- it's not a good idea to skewer as you go since your hands will be covered in goo. Trust me. Mix dry ingredients. Mix in eggs and cream and use water to thin if necessary to achieve somewhat thicker than pancake batter consistency. Dip hot dog in and slather it in nutty goodness. Put hot dog on cookie sheet, bake at 350 15 minutes or until golden brown. This batter was perfect for 4 costco hotdogs.

These... are not light. But when you gotta scratch an itch.... Plus, these are costco hot dogs, which means big, and Tom and I wanted a second but were fine with one.

Per corndog: 400 calories, 5 carbs, 34 fat, 18 protein. Not for the faint of heart.

Guatemalan Green Stew

2013-10-25T09:52:00.003-07:00

In the winter (or at least when we hit temperatures under 80, which is practically winter in Texas), I love me a good stew. They fill your home with a warm smell, act as humidifiers and provide lots of meals.

Tom and I just polished off the vast amount of chili (a 6 quart crockpot and a giant stewpot full....) I made while perfecting our recipe for his office chili cookoff, so you might think we would want something light and fluffy like a salad.

But it's cold, and in the cold, I don't eat salads.

So what's a girl who needs a break from heavier meals but is still in need of serious eats that are warm and cozy?

A chicken and veggie stew! But really, this one is so much more exciting than the progresso taste-alikes you get when you toss tomatoes, zucchini, onion etc into a pot. This one comes from Guatemala and uses pepitas and sesame seeds to give it heft and, obviously, nuttiness. They thicken and provide an excellent texture, too! The veggie component is cilantro, tomatillos, peppers, and onions, and it somehow still something very different from your classic tex mex stew.

Plus it's dead simple. No fancy spices. Every ingredient is available in the standard grocery store. You only need a blender or food processor. Pretty much 10 minutes prep time. Provides 8 servings. Boom.

The original recipe over at Panning the Globe was much better about doing things in a slow, methodical, proper way. The first time I made this stew, I followed his directions and it was perfect. This time, though, I... didn't do that. I used jalapenos instead of bell peppers and roasted all the veggies instead of sauteeing them. I also just blended everything together willy nilly instead of in nice little batches. It was still delicious, but the roasting also made it a little more mellow, a little deeper. If you want fresh brightness, go with the original or add some lime juice. If you like your veggies charred, make it like so:

6 jalapenos
1.5 lbs tomatillos (or equivalent canned tomatillo, available in Hispanic foods aisle)
1 medium onion
4 cloves garlic still in their outer casing
1/2 c pepitas, roasted and salted
1 bunch cilantro, roughly chopped
1/4 c roasted sesame seeds
2.5 lbs chicken thighs

Slice onion into 1/2 inch rounds. Halve and seed jalapenos. Wash up your tomatillos and if you have any HUGE ones, cut them in half. Roast all of the above at 450 for about 25 minutes, taking the garlic out at the 15 minute mark. While that roasty goodness is going on, put your chicken in a large pot and blitz the pepitas and sesame seeds for 15ish seconds in a food processor. Pour the seeds over the chicken. Now attend to the garlic. (Nifty trick: your garlic should have split its casing and can be simply squeezed into your food processor!) Put it in food processor. When other ingredients are roasted, add them to food processor. Everything is getting pulsed pretty well, so don't worry about putting all the tomatillos together or only the jalapenos or whatnot. Just fill it up as much as you can, blend, dump into pot on top of chicken, add more stuff to processor and go again. Once all of your veggies are on top of your chicken, add broth until chicken is covered and bring to a boil. Lower to a simmer and cook 30 minutes til whenever. I too the chicken out and shredded it after about 45 minutes, returned it to the pot, and served. Serve with lime, avocado, and cilantro if you'd like.

Nutrition:
306 calories, 5 net carbs, 22g fat, 37 g protein. Cost per serving: $1.15

Pumpkin "Loaf"

2013-10-16T11:06:00.000-07:00

There was a time when I would buy a Starbucks pumpkin loaf piece every week and SAVOR. EVERY. BITE.

I even had a method.

First, I'd eat the corners and the edges along the sides and bottom. These were good, but they were not the best parts. They are sort of like the lights dimming before a good theater show.

Then, slowly, eat the tender center of the loaf, where it's almost gooey and magically fudgy.

The finale, of course, is eating the top crust, whose moisture was maintained by the crunchy pepitas. Pepitas=fireworks in this finale. Little pops of salty goodness to counter the spicy sweetness.

What? I'm the only one who did that? Well, y'all are missing out.

In keeping with the MASSIVE amount of pumpkin I had remaining from last year's pumpkin roasting (and in a desperate attempt to justify another roasting this year), I took a crack at this pumpkin bread recipe from sparkpeople. Suffice to say, I should have read the comments first. The batter was watery, the comments reflected the product was more custardy... so I doubled the protein powder, added in some almond meal, adjusted my sweetener/liquid components and made a wish on the pumpkin loaf fairies. Thankfully, they were listening:-)

Notes: It is still REALLY RUNNY BATTER so I went with using it in a 9X13 pan as recommended (yet the photo is clearly of a loaf, liars liars....), making this look more like sheet cake than a loaf. Whatevs. That meant also that pepitas were less possible at the beginning of baking-- they would sink. If you want to add them as an upper crust, do so about halfway through.

1 can pumpkin (or about 2 cups of your own puree)
1 c protein powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp vinegar
2 c almond meal
1.5 c almond milk
5 eggs
12 packets purevia (I go light on sweetener; normal recipe calls for 3/4 c agave syrup, do what you want)
3 T pumpkin pie spice (or more to taste)
1/2 c pepitas (for topping)

325. Mix (except pepitas). Pour. Bake 60ish min or until passes the toothpick test. Cool. Ice. Eat.

If no pepitas, use a cream cheese icing if you'd like (and you'd like). Heck, use it under the pepitas. Yes. That. Do that.

Cream cheese icing (SUPER EASY, not even a recipe, stupid good)

1 block cream cheese
1 stick butter
4-5 packets purevia

Soften cream cheese and butter. Mix together, mix in sweetener to taste.

Nutrition stats:
12 pieces (generous servings!), including cream cheese icing, each:
370 calories, 29 grams fat, 17 grams protein, 5 grams carbs

Of pumpkin bread and being a snotface

2013-10-12T16:28:00.001-07:00

Not too long ago, I saw a blog post where someone posted about having made an egregious error while making pumpkin bread. They accidentally put CUMIN in. What? Who DOES that? Do they not read? Have they not heard the adage "measure twice, cut once?"

Seriously.

So I dismissed it, clucked my tongue, and went on with life.

Today, I decided to make good use of the pumpkin hanging out in my fridge and started throwing things into my mixer. I grabbed my spice jar and was generously pouring it in when a pungent, warm aroma rose up to my nose from the bowl beneath.

Cumin.

I kid you not.

So, let that be a lesson on judging others. Don't.

I fished out as much cumin as I could, recompensed the bowl with some almond butter, and went about my way. Don't tell Tom. I could swear I got a whiff of cumin as I nervously inspected the bread, but overall it was a resounding success. A little eggy, but good, moist, and absolutely hit the spot

As for the recipe, I found it a long time ago. I don't know when, I don't know where. All I know is that I tucked it away for safe keeping and happened upon it this weekend when I wanted to make muffins or pumpkin loaf with my remaining pumpkin puree. Plus, it used almond butter, and I was curious about this whole "butter to bread" thing that I've seen lately. What better way to try than with scrumptious pumpkin quick bread?????

I did some googling and couldn't find the exact recipe that inspired me, and that was unfortunate not only for giving credit but because I therefore didn't know what temperature to set my oven not in what size pan to put the bread. Oops. But I made do, put the oven to 325 and cooked it for 30 minutes to start, being satisfied at 40 minutes.

Ingredients:
1 cup almond butter
3 eggs
2/3 cup pumpkin puree
1/3 cup honey/maple syrup (or be like me and use 1/3 c almond milk and 5 packets truvia)
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
2 tsp PUMPKIN PIE SPICE (please read the label, for me. Laugh at me if you must, but laugh while reading)
A handful of chocolate chips

Mix all except the chocolate chips in a bowl with a hand mixer or a stand mixer, pour into loaf pan, toss chips on, bake at 325 for 35-40 minutes.

Using 8 as your serving size, caloriecount.com tells me you get this (without chocolate chips)

Serving Size 1/8 recipe

Amount Per Serving

Calories

253

Calories from Fat

196

% Daily Value^*

Total Fat

21.8g

33%

Saturated Fat

4.3g

22%

Cholesterol

61mg

20%

Sodium

332mg

14%

Total Carbohydrates

8.1g

Dietary Fiber

2.0g

Sugars

1.2g

Protein

9.2g

Vitamin A 65%	•	Vitamin C 2%
Calcium 10%	•	Iron 11%

Nutrition Grade C+

* Based on a 2000 calorie diet

Low Carb Grain-free Pad Thai!!!!

2013-09-14T19:39:00.000-07:00

My home smells like an exotic, savory get away. I just keep breathing deeply and enjoying the joy of my own, homemade pad thai that is low carb and amazing.

Yes, you read right. Homemade, low carb pad thai. I used kelp noodles to approximate pho last winter, and they are back to star in this dish. Just a tad firmer than rice noodles, kelp noodles are a fabulous substitute. They don't take the prettiest photo, but they do taste delicious!

This is really simple to pull together, too! It's full of easy to find ingredients, it tastes fresh but deep, and it's ready in a jiff. What more can you ask for?

By the way, this serves four with big heaping helpings that come out to 6 net carbs per serving when using tofu as the protein.

Ingredients:

Sauce:

1/4 c tamarind paste

1/4 c fish sauce

4 packets truvia

1/4 c peanut butter (not necessarily part of the usual dish, but I didn't have any chopped peanuts to garnish and wanted the peanutty flavor)

sizeable squirt of sriracha

The rest:

giant pack of kelp noodles

3 cloves garlic, pressed

4 T coconut oil

protein of choice (chicken, beef, tofu)

2 eggs

4 green onions, chopped

a few spring cilantro, chopped

*I have heard that you can soak kelp noodles in a slightly acidic water bath for 30 minutes to get them to soften up. I personally have had good luck just boiling them for 30 minutes.

1) Soften noodles. Give them a few snips since they seem to be one glommed up big noodle.

2) Sautee garlic in coconut oil. Add protein and cook through. Remove to plate.

3) Toss sauce ingredients in large pot. Mix until well blended. Toss in noodles,

4) Scramble an egg into the noodles by pushing the noodles to one side of pot and cracking eggs into the empty space. Mix into the noodles.

5) Add in protein. Add in cilantro and take off the heat. Serve. Indulge. Enjoy.

Low carb, gluten-free pizza crust that actually bubbles and chews!

2013-05-31T13:18:00.000-07:00

Not 3 days ago, I cooked a dish that just might revolutionize my baking regime.

I know, I know, I make grand statements all the time, but I'm still in that discovery/exploratory state of wonder when it comes to low carb eating. It's like I'm five years old again and experiencing my first snow! Every time I find out a healthier way to make something that I had resigned myself to never/rarely eating again, I feel like I have cheated death and gotten a gift from Santa all at once.

Today, it's pizza. I'm sure you're rolling your eyes. After all, I have made cauliflower and almond flour and chicken pizza crusts before, and I declared them great, and I still think they're great. But, they're more like delicious dishes that aren't quite pizza. This is pizza.

Top: See that gorgeous golden color!
Bottom: Trying to show the crust detail. There were bubbles, man!

Some people on low carb say "no man, it's the TOPPINGS I loved! I just didn't realize it until I got rid of the crust.!" I am not one of them. I don't care if they have found their true pizza desires or if they are knee deep in denial, I need a crust.

This recipe comes on the heels of that amazing coffee cake, and they share the same secret ingredient: unflavored whey protein. After seeing the amazing crumb and delicate nature of the bread, I thought maybe, just maybe, this miracle ingredient that provided such substance to the cake could liven up pizza dough and provide the bubbles and chewiness that typifies pizza dough. It did! It still needs a little something for moisture, I think, and to that end I added in some olive oil. I made it without but was comfortable enough with the recipe to post as is-- it was good enough to pass the cold pizza test! If you try it out, let me know how it goes!

Ingredients:
2 c shredded mozzarella
1/4 c almond meal
1/4 c unflavored whey protein
1 T olive oil
1 egg

Mix everything together and spread it thinly on an oiled/parchment paper covered cookie sheet to as thin as you can get it. Did I say think? Cook at 350 for about 10 minutes or until it's browned an bubbly. Cover in sauce and toppings an cook until the cheese is gooey and you are on your tippy toes waiting for deliciousness.

Sun-Dried Tomato Cream Sauce over Chicken

2013-05-30T08:50:00.000-07:00

File this recipe under "things that make you go WOW at first bite." Really. I took a bite, lowered my fork, and just stared. I knew I was in the presence of food greatness.

Moving on to the stuff I wrote before I cooked and ate....

This recipe is brought to you because I made a Costco run. How I love Costco. Whether it's the epic mountain of coffee that I somehow manage to drink through in a month, the bargain-priced wine that still tastes respectable, or the free bacon samples, I always find something to love.

I'm sure I had your attention at "free bacon," but the real star of this week's haul was the rotisserie chicken. At $4.99 a chicken, it's a steal. The meat is succulent, and it's a pretty hefty bird. I actually pulled the bird apart and weighed all the meat; the final yield was 2.25 pounds, and I stole a few bites along the way before the weighing. I know that I can get boneless, skinless thighs and breasts on good sales for $2/lb, but there's so much liquid that is given off while cooking that I'm not sure I don't come out ahead with the pre-roasted bird. I kept the bones, skin and juices for broth, too. Just so much savory goodness! The clincher for me is that on my most tired night, I can still drag my butt into the store to pick up a chicken and a bag of salad. $8 later, we have AT LEAST 4 healthy meals for the two of us, and we stay on track with budget and diet.

The chicken is delicious on its own (let's not pretend I don't just eat it straight out of the carton some days), but today I decided to step it up a bit. I've written about Bella Sun Luci tomatoes before (gee, also from Costco), and I continue to love them. They have so. much. flavor., and, like the pesto in my last post, they come with seasoning already built in. I always add a little extra garlic--because, well, garlic-- but otherwise, the flavor comes from simple, good ingredients that you might have in your pantry! You could probably even pull off using tomato paste instead of sun dried tomatoes if that's what you're working with. The wine can of course be subbed out for stock, but it adds a nice complexity and deep undertones that worked well with the tomatoes. Just sayin'.

Ingredients:
2 c chicken, cooked through and roughly shredded or chopped
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 T oil
1/2 c chardonnay
1/2 c heavy cream
8 sun dried tomato halves

1) Put garlic and oil in saucepan. Cook over medium until garlic is tender. If you like garlicky goodness, leave garlic in. If you want a more subtle hint, take it out.
2) Add chardonnay and tomatoes and cook the alcohol off.
3) Add cream and cook until it coats the back of your spoon.
4) Use immersion blender to puree the sauce, or cool a bit and then carefully use food processor or blender.
5) Add in chicken and mix around.

Serve over something wonderful like pureed cauliflower.

Serving Size 217 g (1/2 recipe)

Amount Per Serving

Calories

442

Calories from Fat

215

% Daily Value^*

Total Fat

23.8g

37%

Saturated Fat

9.2g

46%

Trans Fat

0.0g

Cholesterol

149mg

50%

Sodium

132mg

Total Carbohydrates

5.9g

Dietary Fiber

0.8g

Protein

42.0g

Vitamin A 12%	•	Vitamin C 22%
Calcium 5%	•	Iron 9%

Nutrition Grade B-

* Based on a 2000 calorie diet

pesto cheese dip

2013-05-29T06:30:00.000-07:00

I feel like I'm letting you in on two foodie finds at once. First find: USE BELL PEPPERS FOR CHEESY DIPS!!!! Really, I love French bread and tortilla chips, I do... but besides this low carb business, I actually prefer bell pepper dippers. They are substantial enough to stand up to the heartiest dips (see above photo of gloriousness) but also provide a crisp refreshment to complement the fatty cheese.

Let me be clear, I have nothing against fatty cheese. It is one of the loves of my life. It just needs a little balancing, esp when it is stringy melty goodness.

The second find is this recipe, which was inspired by this white pizza dip. While her dip looks phenomenal, I wasn't invested in roasting tomatoes, and I love pesto for being a multi-layer food all by itself. Who needs to add in extra herbs, nuts, cheese when it comes in a perfectly balanced flavor-packed combo?

This is some scrumptious party food, whether you are a party of two or a party of twenty. Just don't forget to scale up--it goes quickly!

Ingredients:
2 blocks cream cheese, softened
8 oz shredded mozzarella
8 oz shredded provolone
1/4 c pesto

Mix everything together and bake at 350 for 25ish minutes or until top is bubbly.

Cheesy beefy mac... without the mac

2013-05-28T07:11:00.001-07:00

I LOVE one-pot meals. Cleaning is easier, serving is easier, and somehow they tend to make enough to feed an army. Plus, they are often creamy, gooey, soul-feeding comfort food.

This one is no exception. A big hug of a meal.

I had been craving something cheesy and casserole-y, and I kept circling back to the idea of a cheesy mac recipe with cauliflower as the macaroni. This, friends, is one of those dishes we ate four days in a row and were still sad to see end. As an added bonus, cauliflower seems to be the ideal base for other virtues than its vegetableness. Whereas macaroni can easily overcook in a casserole, cauliflower maintains its integrity. It does not fold under heat and pressure!

Please forgive that joke.

And go make yourself some deliciousness.

Ingredients:

2 lbs ground beef
1 T smoked paprika
2 cloves garlic, pressed

1 head cauliflower, chopped
1 c heavy cream
2 oz cream cheese, pinched or sliced into small cubes
2 T dijon mustard
2 c shredded sharp cheddar

1) Cook beef with paprika and garlic.
2) Steam cauliflower in microwave or cook on stovetop until crisp-tender. For me, this is 5 minutes in the microwave.
3) Meanwhile, bring cream to a simmer in LARGE pot. Either pinch cream cheese off the block in tiny pieces or cut into tiny cubes. Whisk into cream. Add mustard. Mix in shredded cheddar until you have most awesome sauce EVAR.
4) Mix in cauliflower and ground beef, then pour into a 9X13. Bake for 20 minutes at 350.

Makes 8 scrumptious and filling servings

Serving Size 216 g

Amount Per Serving

Calories

400

Calories from Fat

197

% Daily Value^*

Total Fat

21.9g

34%

Saturated Fat

11.9g

59%

Trans Fat

0.0g

Cholesterol

147mg

49%

Sodium

409mg

17%

Total Carbohydrates

4.2g

Dietary Fiber

1.3g

Sugars

1.1g

Protein

45.0g

Vitamin A 20%	•	Vitamin C 27%
Calcium 16%	•	Iron 124%

Nutrition Grade B+

* Based on a 2000 calorie diet

Foray into whey protein... and BEST coffee cake ever!

2013-05-27T10:29:00.004-07:00

Aerial view of what is pure deliciousness.

Look at that!!! Can't you see the "delicate crumb?"

It's been a while, I know. There's this thing called life, you see. Life included lots and lots of school this semester, but with college physics in the rearview (buh-bye!), I hope to have some more time and energy for creative outlets like baking and writing.

I'm sure you're just so impacted by my return. I'll give you a moment to collect yourself.

Tom and I are both a bit under the weather, which has been AMAZINGLY RAINY!!!! I am exuberant about the rain but less so about our sniffles. And when I am sniffly, I don't usually want to bake anything difficult, but something kept whispering to me while I read Carolyn's cinnamon roll coffee cake post. I could smell it through the screen, and it seemed like I could put it together in the time it takes to brew coffee. The one quirk? Many of her recipes include whey protein.

Whey protein. In baked goods. What?

At first, I scrunched my nose in suspicion. I mean, I love a good isopure shake after a workout... but protein powder in baked goods? Reeeeaaaallly?

But think about it. Gluten is a protein. It is the gooey goodness that makes baked goods and pasta tender and chewy. It's not too much of a stretch to think that whey protein would have similar properties. Perhaps, then, whey protein is not just for meatheads but also for bakers. With that conviction, I whipped up this coffee cake in no time. And oh. my. gosh. It was perhaps the best coffee cake I have EVER had. It rose well and was super moist throughout. I think I have found my new base recipe for cupcakes!

The recipe creation is absolutely Carolyn's, but I'm a lazy pants and skipped a few steps. I also don't have Swerve in the budget right now, so I subbed in generic splenda from kroger to the level of sweetness I prefer. I'm sure hers was better, but, again, lazy pants. Here's what I did.

Ingredients:
3 cups almond meal or flour. (I used half of each; Trader Joe's meal is a bit cheaper than almond flour)
1/4 c whey protein
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 T cinnamon (always good to have it everywhere!)

1/3 c splenda
1/2 c butter, melted
1 tsp vanilla
3 large eggs
1/2 c almond milk

1) Combine 1st group ingredients in one bowl.
2) Blend second group ingredients in another bowl.
3) Add 1st group to second group in 2 batches, mixing along the way.
4) Pour 1/2 batter into greased 8X8. Sprinkle a layer of cinnamon. Pour remaining batter. Sprinkle layer of cinnamon.
5) Bake at 325 for 35 minutes.

If you want icing.... melt 3 T cream cheese and mix with 1 packet truvia and 1 T cream.

Nutrition info based on 16 pieces, icing included.

Serving Size 49 g

Amount Per Serving

Calories

207

Calories from Fat

162

% Daily Value^*

Total Fat

18.0g

28%

Saturated Fat

6.6g

33%

Trans Fat

0.0g

Cholesterol

53mg

18%

Sodium

140mg

Total Carbohydrates

5.2g

Dietary Fiber

2.6g

10%

Sugars

1.1g

Protein

8.5g

Vitamin A 5%	•	Vitamin C 0%
Calcium 10%	•	Iron 6%

Nutrition Grade C-

* Based on a 2000 calorie diet

Pho realz, yo

2013-03-28T06:54:00.001-07:00

Sorry about the title. I had to.

Pho is a DELICIOUS Vietnamese soup. A few years ago, I was first introduced to this lovely treat in Boston while out with college friends. We had marched in a parade and were frozen to the core, and one of our crew recommended a local eatery. I had no idea what pho was or if I even liked Vietnamese cuisine, but I knew that soup=warmth for your belly, so I was game.

I fell in love that day.

Pho has a beautiful flavor profile-- the broth includes star anise, which is one of my favorite spices. The soup contains a HUGE amount of rice vermicelli, but you mix in your own quantities of basil, cilantro, spicy peppers, bean sprouts and hot sauce at the table. It makes for a meal that is communal yet individualized, and I was hooked from first bite. Plus, you can often get some Vietnamese coffee, and that's worthy of a whole 'nuther post on another day.

Fast forward to the last two years, when I taught all week and recovered all weekend. On many blustery Sundays in the fall/winter, Tom and I would take refuge in one of the local pho houses, relishing the exotic aroma of the broth and the minty, crisp bite of basil and mixing in as much sambal as we could handle.

Pho has a special place in my heart.

And now, it has a special place in my diet!

Tom and I had experimented a little with kelp noodles, and we both liked them. I read that if you boil them for 45 minutes, they soften up enough to be "real" noodles. I decided to be brave and try to make pho-- so, off to H Mart! As a lazy pants, I looked for a spice satchel to add to broth but found none. Instead, I found a broth packet. Msg, blah blah, but I was willing to try it. And friends, it was perfect. I also picked up some herbs, jalapeno and the biggest pack of sea tangle noodles available. This took about 5 minutes to put together (not counting the boiling time). Great for a tired day's meal (and about 3 more meals).

Ingredients:
giant pack o' kelp noodles
1 pack pho broth
water to amply cover kelp noodles
cilantro, basil, jalapeno, bean sprouts, sauce
thinly sliced beef.

1) Boil the noodles. Boil them some more. We boiled 30, added spice packet, boiled 15 more.
2) Put thinly sliced beef in bowl (the broth will cook it; if you are squeamish, cook beef in pot before serving)
3) Pour broth over beef, scoop in noodles to taste.
4) Personalize your bowl with cilantro, basil, bean sprouts, spicy peppers and hot sauce.

The genius? The carb count is pretty dang low. We got about 2 carbs from our broth, 1 from the veggies and hot sauce.

Carnitas

2013-03-04T19:49:00.000-08:00

Here's how it looks in context of a meal

Here's how it looks when you are getting the crispy goodness and over-stir.

This is perhaps the easiest meal/meat preparation ever, and it is so versatile. Add some salsa and turn it into a burrito bowl. Cover with avocado slices. Add to fried eggs. Use in fried (cauli)rice. It is just plumb good.

Folks, it's not for the faint of heart. It's pork that cooks until the fat is rendered... and then it fries itself in that fat. The great news is that it is very flavorful, very easy, and feeds a crowd (or two hungry people for a week). The other great news is that I am continuing to lose weight and gain endurance while eating high fat/low carb, so I'm feeling that the fattiness here is acceptable.

2 lbs pork butt/shoulder, cut into 2" chunks
1/2 c citrus juice of choice (I used lime and orange in equal parts)
time (no really, commit to 3 hours in the kitchen)

Put meat chunks in pot. Pour in citrus juice. Add water until it covers pork. Turn on the heat and simmer until the water cooks off. Continue to stir and fry in its own juices (YUM) until you get a crispy edge. Be vigilant about cooking and stirring here-- you want even crispiness, not charred bottom.

I hear you can put the ingredients in the crockpot, minus the water, and then put the chunks of meat on a cookie sheet and broil for crispiness. I will be trying this.

Serving Size 129 g

Amount Per Serving

Calories

335

Calories from Fat

218

% Daily Value^*

Total Fat

24.3g

37%

Saturated Fat

8.9g

45%

Cholesterol

102mg

34%

Sodium

77mg

Total Carbohydrates

1.3g

Protein

26.5g

Vitamin A 0%	•	Vitamin C 9%
Calcium 3%	•	Iron 8%

Nutrition Grade C+

* Based on a 2000 calorie diet

Coconut flour pancakes

2013-03-03T12:15:00.000-08:00

Sweet, sweet victory of amazingness.

A while ago, I tried to make coconut flour tortillas and ended up with a mostly savory pancake, but one that was a little dry and lackluster. Coconut flour is a mean beast that defies the rules that most of us learned for baking.

Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way. Maybe it's gluten that's the fickle monster and coconut flour is just misunderstood. A Quasimodo of the baking world.

Tom recently requested pancakes. I thought to myself that if anyone knew how to do this, it was Carolyn of All Day I Dream About Food. And lo and behold, she did. I mixed up the batter, fired up the pan, said a little prayer, rubbed my lucky rabbit foot (okay fine, I exaggerate), and poured the little circles.

Then magic happened.

Pancakes formed!

Out of the abyss that was coconut flour failure rose these lovely, fluffy pancakes. Were they IDENTICAL to gluteny gluttonous goo? No. Thank goodness. They were better! A few fill you up, though, so the batch lasted us most of a week! We serve with whipped cream and berries.

Slightly adapted from All Day I Dream about Food.

1/2 c coconut flour
2 packets stevia
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking powder

6 eggs
1 c vanilla unsweetened almond milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp almond extract

Mix dry. Mix wet. Add wet to dry. Mix thoroughly and let sit for 5ish minutes so the coconut flour can do its expansionist thing. Cook like you do normal pancakes. Nom. Makes about 12 4" pancakes, 2 pancakes per serving.

Serving Size 96 g (2 pancakes)

Amount Per Serving

Calories

115

Calories from Fat

% Daily Value^*

Total Fat

5.9g

Saturated Fat

1.7g

Trans Fat

0.0g

Cholesterol

164mg

55%

Sodium

306mg

13%

Total Carbohydrates

6.7g

Dietary Fiber

3.8g

15%

Sugars

1.4g

Protein

7.0g

Vitamin A 6%	•	Vitamin C 0%
Calcium 9%	•	Iron 5%

Nutrition Grade C+

* Based on a 2000 calorie diet

Poppers!

2013-02-24T14:08:00.000-08:00

One night, while Tom was still at work, I had a purely indulgent evening. I made jalapeno poppers, guacamole, and palomas. I watched Batman. I did NOT do homework.

Oh, glorious day. Would that it were every day.

Jalapeno poppers are one of those easy things that I love and that are always greeted with ravenous eyes (my own or anyone to whom I bring them). Some people complain about the process of making them. I have a few tricks.

1) Use a grapefruit spoon to scrape out seeds and veins.
2) Cut bacon in half and put lengthwise down pepper instead of wrapping around-- no sticking to pan, no stretching the bacon and getting frustrated because one piece too long and half a piece is too short (big jalapenos here)
3) Add just a little taco seasoning or chili powder to cream cheese or mix cream cheese with sharp cheddar for an added bit of flavor. (Totally unnecessary, but sometimes fun)

Do those things and bake at 350 for 20ish minutes or until bacon is crispy enough for you.

Sushi paleo/low carb style

2013-02-19T07:11:00.000-08:00

Things I love:

Sushi

Sushi

Sushi.

Sorry, it's just that as soon as I say sushi, I get fixated. I know the idea of raw fish seems downright lunatic to some people (esp since we are so focused on cooking things to proper temperatures to kill the nasty goblins in our food), but safely obtained sushi fish is awesome. Steak Tartare is awesome.

Chicken Tartare:

Source: http://memegenerator.net/

Sushi rolls, however, often have that rice stuff I have foresworn. But cauliflower has been subbing in for rice like a champ in everything I make (and makes a mean pizza crust/breadsticks), so I thought perhaps that I could put it in sushi. Dare I dream?

Cauliflower rose to the occasion yet again! But then, when you put nori+salmon+sriracha+mayo+cucumber+avocado, you really can't go wrong. Tom and I feasted, and I'd like to point out (again) that homemade sushi is delicious and relatively cheap.

How to make cauliflower for sushi:

1) Take a small head of cauliflower and rice it (I use the blender method: chop cauliflower into florets, put in blender, fill with water, blend until cauliflower is size of rice).

2) Saute in grapeseed oil, butter, or other neutral flavored fat until it's translucent and cooked. Add 1 T rice wine vinegar and mix through.

3) Assemble your sushi station. I use salmon, avocado, and cucumber.

4) Using whatever ratio you like, assemble your sushi. Here is a decent demonstration for the whole process; she starts rolling at around 2:20. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEfxOrQsAaU

5) Slice into 6 pieces, or eat it like a burrito.

Crunchy chicken tenders

2013-02-17T14:26:00.004-08:00

The day after my great fried pickle showdown, I wanted fried pickles again.

I mean, who wouldn't?

I also wanted fried chicken. I think this falls under the "if you give a mouse a cookie, he's gonna want a glass of milk" problem. But when you have been toying with a great recipe that gives some awesomely tasty food, it's not actually a problem. It's a challenge. And challenge ACCEPTED!

My challenge was to find an acceptable chick fil a alternative that would fit my low carb/paleo ways. I am quite happy with this recipe. It's not quiiiiite chick fil a, but it hits the spot! I got the idea from the brine from somewhere out there that I no longer recall but made the rest up as I went.

(Be sure to make fried pickles and ranch with this for maximum southern satisfaction)

Brine 1 lb chicken tenders for 2 hours in the following:
1 c pickle juice
2 packet stevia
1 tsp dijon
1 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp white pepper

Scramble an egg. Dredge chicken tenders through egg and then through 1 c ground pork rinds (bonus points if you use spicy rinds). Bake at 350 for 15ish minutes or until juice run clear. Serve with ranch for dipping.

I didn't run nutritional info on this because the carb count is pretty negligible.

Chocolate Bacon Roses

2013-02-16T08:49:00.003-08:00

I jokingly sent my husband a link to a blog with bacon roses, telling him that if he wanted to get me flowers, he should make these instead.

Tom rarely checks his email, so imagine my surprise when I walked into the house later that day to find him baking bacon roses! This photo even has him doing the dishes behind the bacon roses. It's a perfect photo:-)

Sadly, the flavor is not my favorite-- I think perhaps a lighter drizzle of chocolate would be better over crisped bacon slices. I am not giving up.

But they are fun, they made us smile, and it was definitely a romantic gesture!