CoolDeep Thoughts

Marry Me!!

2014-02-03T07:18:00.003-08:00

Yesterday was like any other day and I looked myself in the shaving mirror that men on the move or mis-managed guys have. Everything looked perfect, all pimple marks were right in place as if settled permanently like dark spots on the landscape as slums in our cities. Self-appointed boosters of others morale will blame me of discriminating against myself and no social activist would give a damn as nobody takes a short and poor man seriously. OK! Not that poor, yet I can assure you that I do not matter in their scheme of things. Nobody listens to me and every time I have to say something I write posts and blogs which nobody understands. The reason could be because I do not talk to people except when its’ unavoidable or makes for an interesting conversation but that does not count as speaking!

But then I am a guy and its’ OK to have a few marks on faces and yet get arranged married to someone who watches ‘Balika Vadhu’ as long as I had hair over my head. Of course I have hair, only yesterday did I get a haircut and the barber who claims to be a stylist charged me a full fee. Had I not had a healthy bunch of hair why would have the barber claiming to be stylist charge a full fee. So, I have hair. The proof of work ethics was right at the top of my scalp, strands of hair diminishing in number, lifeless and without a stand. Like leaves that are about to fall, only stuck with glue to avoid falling. A little deeper digging into the sparse hairline provided evidence of the R******’s work. In his attempt to be just, he had cut some hair strands (read all that was left) too short that the scalp was visible. It was still OK! There was no reason to freak out even if god had given me departing hairline over pimple marks. The almighty had also given me good hair days when they long, thick and abundant.

This was me, 26, with receding hairline and pimple marks of the kind which ‘No Marks’ can do nothing about. If you thought that god works in mysterious ways, here is the proof of him being mathematical like everybody else in the world. Nobody cares for the meaning; there is a formula for looking at everything. Derivations for every new situation but invariably selfish number who speak only about themselves govern the affairs of the world. God had compensated for all the low marks that I got all my life. The no of marks on my face put together with my average scores in exams would give me enough to have beaten all those lifeless nerds and geeks. I still wonder how they never felt anything, lifelessly solved their arithmetic problems without stopping for anything as there was no time to do that. There were enough problems in all the books put together which they could not humanely solve and a constant guilt was weighing their soul. And it was heavy enough to be seen on their faces.

But something seemed characteristic about this new found hair falling reality that had uncanny sense to it. And then I thought about things in my life. I had a room which I used only when I wanted to clean. Apart from the house, I could call the job mine as I always reported before my peers, juniors, seniors and left after everybody. I virtually lived in office. It is another thing that I did not work all the time. Also, I was coming back home only to sleep and get ready for another day. And how could I not think about the fact that I ate out all the time not because I did not knew how to cook and did not feel like cooking for myself.

The troubling fact file of my life made me seek answers and I logged into FB for deeper introspection. My worst fears were coming true as my friend list had more men than women, in fact women had become an endangered species in my friend list. I had been blocked alike by the girl who mattered and the one who did not. The only sunshine that illuminated the friend list stayed probably because she was having pity on me. May be I was wrong but this is how I would like to think. I had become so irrelevant that girls were even unfriending me by mistake. Something was wrong with me or everything was wrong as I thinking all this at 10AM on 31st January. 10AM, time to go office no matter what day!

The fabulous February was right there and I was thinking about these things. February, the month with the day of love, Valentine’s Day. So what if I had remained single. The first half of February had always filled me with hopes and an equal disappointment for the remaining. But something was not right this time and I wrote about my life’s situation on a piece of paper. It was already burdened with the too many updates that I make and was crying for help. How inconsiderate of it! After all it had managed to put up with all I was to post. Why couldn’t it happily solve something which looked like another opportunity of deriving insight from data. An opportunity to do some Analytics, which everybody claimed to do and some like me made a lot of noise about but never understood what the hell it was! Anyways I wrote on that piece of paper and put an effort to find where I had written. But then as always I found what I wrote. And my heart sank to see what was written not only on that piece of verbally abused paper but the wall. No, not the facebook wall! I mean the proverbial wall.

I can forget my name but I remember my updates. Almost all of them. Everything started coming back to me, the extra room, the eating out, the extra hours at office all lead to where no guy wants to go. Marriage! But then it was me, a guy whose childhood dream was to marry. While other boys of standard 9 chose funky clothes in the fashion show, I chose to dress like the groom. The receding hairline meant I was the SRK of Kal Ho Naa Ho. Like the protagonist in the movie, my life was figuratively going to be over. OK! I have more years if I start using medication but then life was on a death row.

I gave it a little thought and it made full sense. Marriage made sense! Now when I read what I just wrote, I can’t believe myself. The extra room could be used. It would take almost the same time to cook for two as for one and I would start cooking again. The rest of the problems also started solving themselves and the only one which gave me ‘No Solution’ was the original problem of hair loss. But then a mind messed up with the thoughts of marriage does not think rationally. And thus I headed for the place where marriages are made, the internet, Shaadi.com and Bharat Matrimony. These were highly recommended sources and one of them was endorsed by Chetan Bhagat, writer of the fictions which would sound like your real life.

Thus, I filled the necessary details which promised to bring me closer to meeting the right partner. In the process I came across ‘My Partner Preferences’ and I wrote with all the sincerity and heart I wrote my poetries. Like a teenage romantic who felt that his Partner Preferences would have the appeal which would attract his soul mate and other attractive women from the crowd. I wrote my Marriage Proposal aka My Partner Preference

My Partner Preference

‘I am a dead tree who would end up becoming only coal, not even those with high calorific values. I am one ogwho produce more smoke than heat. I look for a woman who would foolishly believe there is diamond inside and push me hard to be a diamond and yet never demand diamonds!

I look for a woman who would complete me. I look for a woman who would be different from the crowd, someone who is not exactly what I seek and yet so me, different enough to make opposites attract. I look for someone who short circuits my brain, from a predominantly left brained Engineering – MBA type to the guy who wants to write and express including a lot of poetries about her.

I look for someone who wins the hearts of my family and makes me love hers as much as I love mine. I look for someone who makes me feel like an innocent kid again, and KiD-ish as it may be, bear the kids of the man who is kid again. Kids who have almost all of her looks and a few of mine. I look for someone who makes my childhood dream of marrying come true and instill the dream of marrying someday in all the kids that attend my marriage ceremony.

I look for someone who not only does make all the girls who rejected me curse their luck but also give them a sense of security that the poor guy finally met someone who ended his search. I look for someone who is so different from all of them yet so much of them. I look for someone whom I want to spend the rest of my life with, settle down yet want to elope with every day. I look for someone who not there but still I look for you.'

But then real life is so different from blog and I saved my feelings for the blog. Someday it will make up a romantic sequence in some book or movie but as far as bride search is concerned I filled the template ‘Hi, this is Kuldip Jayaswal. I am a marketing professional who lives life to the fullest.. hope you would like to know more about me, if you do please leave a message’.

Dude In Distress!!

2014-02-03T07:16:00.004-08:00

Foreword

Quirky but true. The two genders, man and women seem to have mutually agreed on a role reversal or at least it stood true for in a recent situation. What happened the other morning only adds credibility to the trick. Its’ not like there is a sudden surge of Roma-women who eve tease a shy guy on a lonely street in the company of like- minded girlfriends. And neither does appear a Damsel, out of nowhere. Shoulder length hair, perfect figure, confident walk and those glasses that your girl next door would wear. Yes, glasses make them even sexier. That would have happened in a Si-Fi Hollywood movie, the protagonist in this story lives in a Chennai suburb and thus has toned down fantasies, all that he wants is to meet is a dusky beauty. And if that girl lives in your neighborhood and listens to Bomb Figure by Honey Singh, you can’t stop thanking your stars . What makes the role reversal even more attractive is that unlike cliché stories where the hero saves the Damsel single handedly; this neighbor has a roomie as well. While I am not hinting at a ‘Many Is To One’ relationship; the attractive proposition of ‘If-Not-Else’ can’t be denied by any guy. So far so gorgeous but how on earth does a dude fall in distress.

If you thought it all adds up and the blogger (please read Dude) really needs help and a girl happened to have spot that and offered (help) in good faith. Then you are right and wrong. All indicators lead to the Deception Point. I stopped blogging which meant an essential part of every festival as I blogged on almost every occasion. Or it could have been even worse and I had stopped celebrating festivals altogether and was only gloomy all the time. But that is only partly true. I believe in not so successful blogging mantra of ‘Build your blog strength (at least in count) and through open the gates when the readers thought its’ an impossible outcome’. It will become much easier by this analogy. When the menstrual cycle stops it only means that you had enough of unprotected sex which is a matter of great pride. What comes after 9 months is the rekindling of an extinguished fire only a little more ferocious, ready to gulp everything that comes its’ way. To make for your loss, look up the archives what secret desires have I saved all these months. All I can say is that no matter how ugly the babies turn out to be, the pain of laboring/living for them is always tough and these were 9 healthy full sized blogs. ‘Dude in Distress’ might come across as a phenomenal shift from my style of bragging about myself and praising about them(women), but in the end you will find out I stay the same by changing.

‘Dude In Distress’ is a principle which finds application almost everywhere, even in politics. The year that just went by witnessed true ‘Dude In Distress’ situations where the grand old dude of Indian politics, Congress was trapped in its own plot by AAP. Here goes the story of ‘Dude In Distress’.

The Post

Pre-Historic men got lucky when they had an opportunity to bail out a damsel in distress. This proved to be such a game catcher that even kind natured men secretly started praying for damsels to fall in distressing situations. Everything looked like a possible ‘Damsel In Distress’ situation to a single male and even school boys started praying for rain in clear April skies. Not all of them carried an extra umbrella to help the ‘Damsel In Distress’ even if they forgot some or the other book every day. Some of them only wanted to see her drenched in rain.

Sick as it was to wish for damsels to land in distress, men started scripting their own story by setting up distresses for damsels. The other and more important reason was that god and weather could not have been relied upon. They have an unpredictable nature. Just when you thought that the weather is good and she will come at the party next lane, god would give thundershowers, ensuring that she stays at home. With education and better mobility, man could reach out to more women leading to too many Rams and a critical shortage of Raavans.

The balance of nature was skewed against heroes looking for a heroine. For hero to be hero there needs to be a villain and there were no villains at all. The situation plagued the society to a magnitude that even movies did not have any villain. Reel and real lives woke up to the benefits of a staged distress for the Damsel. All it required was a group of friends you did not have much affinity for. Ask the group to trouble the girl you liked and jump in to save her. While well-built guys preferred a full fighting sequence, some of them even settled for verbal show of strength where your not so good friends always lost. The unsaid clause being that the ‘Act-Like-Goons’ were not to be seen with you for a certain period of time which depended upon how strong you were going with the girl. Also, if she was dumb enough, you could make her believe that yesterday’s bad-boys had a change of heart and want their company to become a better person. It was all like the Kitty parties, guys stuck to their turns to become the saviors. Giving a helping hand to the girl meant not only getting to keep it; the heart came along as well, melted to perfection. The best part was that you did not have to even ask for any of them. Life was good and everything was going fine till some fool spilled the beans to his girlfriend and the word spread as quickly as women are believed to. Within no time the mobile devices and internet had spread the breaking news about the trick to places far and wide. And to this day women look at helping men with added suspicion.

Another factor that led to the decline of the ‘Stage A Distress’ era was its excessive usage. Like excessive use of an idiom/ phrase, ‘Stage A Distress’ became a cliché. Not a cliché of any minor kind, it started threatening the undisputed leadership of interview and resume clichés that we commit.

Nothing was working out; every move of men met the slammed door reaction. It was then that by accident a guy got locked up in the bedroom of his rented house. His phone was in the living room and all his shouting to the landlord brought no response. What he realized that even in his cries for help, his voice still carried the same accent which he consciously generated while in conversation. For a minute he started thinking about how fake our lives have become that we are not even able to seek help in a natural way. But why was he even thinking all this when he knew that two college girls were his neighbors. Girl neighbors, who greet your arrival by putting a curtain, but this was not the time to be think about all that, it was a time to put on the ‘Dude In Distress’ act. And thus he started throwing all he could find on the windowpanes of their bedroom. 4 Spare buttons, 1 sharpener and 2 erasers later, arrived his girl next door. And he told her about the situation and she did the needful.

In the 5 minutes that it took for him to be become free from his own bedroom, the male brain had already calculated the requisite steps to take her on a date. It was the simple ‘Dude In Distress’ scenario where the girl ends up helping the guy out. Once you help someone, most of us start treating them as someone in constant need of our help. And you start offering all you can to ensure their well-being.

When a girl becomes the savior she becomes vulnerable to self-dismantling her carefully built guard that she lets down for only a few men. All that was required from here on was to greet – be sweet and offer to thank over dinner and there you have your date. The advantage of this kind of date is that the girl dates you without having found out. Not only would she fall head over heels, she wears her 6 inches pointed ones for the occasion and 4 inches if the guy is less than or equal to 5’4”.Did you say it does not qualify as date? But then seldom are the dates real in the western sense of it in India. At least not from where he came from or the girl came from. Her accent meant she could not have been from the region he came from. He could see the girl next door had left the windows open and the curtains rested on the edges. This could have meant an invitation as most single boys would take it or just letting fresh air come in. But then he was done with these games and turned his back towards open windows. May be he would retire very soon or is just taking some time off the ground. He opened the laptop and started typing “Dude In Distress”.

The Science Behind Item Number

2014-02-03T07:14:00.003-08:00

It requires Glamor ..err Item Girl to bring the viewers’ to the theaters. Else they would have preferred watching pirated copies at home and posted updates on social media about the ridiculousness of the movie. Item number is generally misunderstood to be only the song with skimpily clad women dancing on a sensuous number. It’s a host of thing if you and includes anything done to show-off/sell rather than delivering the value to the customer.

Item numbers cannot be understood without understanding piracy. Piracy steals away a huge chunk of what any movie can make. The reason behind placing item numbers in a movie is to make it a financial success. A simple analysis of movie watching habits in India would lead to the conclusion that all movies will become box-office hits if piracy was eliminated. This is based on the fact that most of us watch pirated movies.

Piracy is of multiple types ‘Based Upon’ & ‘Inspired’ are among them. While the former is way which expresses gratitude to the original creator, the latter is a legal way to pirate. Its’ a crime only when done at the highest echelons, a regular practice by the masses, justified in the name of being socialist by courts and a skill that can get you employment. Shocked! But its’ a truth the industry would never agree to and job seekers resort to. Original content and thought are increasingly becoming a fad and the pace of duplication with a little editing has become a sure shot method to achieve success.

Creators have learnt to live with little doses of piracy in the name of journalism/media but contest full scale piracy. This has led to the creation of a parasitic species of commentary (read news shows) who make their living by showing bits and pieces (read highlights) of everything available. These shows have their own space in the heart of audience and non-primetime or else what can explain shows like ‘Comedy This Week’. News is increasingly becoming a legitimate way of lifting up content.

Our liking of item numbers is a subconscious event which owes a lot to the mad run of the world which has made everything including entertainment a mode of enhancing knowledge. So when the viewer goes to watch a movie, a part of his brain wants him to collect information and the other part seeks entertainment. It is this part that loves item numbers in between serious storyline. An item number or songs in the movie has nothing to do with the story but provide pure entertainment man has known for centuries. Singing and dancing are the most democratic form of entertainment while cinema is sought after as it is difficult to make and includes almost all forms of entertainment. Another primary reason of cinema being such a great success is that it serves us the life of others in a palatable form.

The liking for cinema is to a great extent due to the fact that survival and success in the human world has always been highly dependent on information about others’ lives. And its’ not humanly possible to do a man-behind the life of others, be with him every moment to see the story for himself. With 7 billion stories unfolding in some part of the world, man cannot decide which story to follow before it starts taking shape. And that is said in a figurative sense, it is not humanely possible. Thus, we prefer an already happened version when the teller knows the story is interesting and the listener wants to hear an interesting story.

The show business as cinema is called, is a very sophisticated business and involves a host of people with skills, equipment and a lot of money. And this is the reason behind cinema ranking so high in the entertainment quotient. These are principles which have been put to practice since but the reason today I am digging/writing this research paper is that Chetan Bhagat has questioned this accepted status quo and reopened the dialogue (even this blog!) or shall I say figurative reading by one of the AAP followers.

If we evaluate the comment without considering the intension and context behind, there is nothing wrong in an item or two to sell the actual movie. As it stands, the film industry is run by a coterie that produces super-human action packed sequences or romances which do not happen in real life. The cast in movies or politicians in Congress come from a few families and there is nothing wrong in it as it worked. As any businessmen, Congress and Film Producers are reducing their exposure to risk as the Indian masses readily accept a change from within the system. This fact makes it even truer that AAP is like an item song of Indian politics. And there is nothing disgraceful about it. Even Priyanka Chopra has endorsed the Darwin’s theory of survival by adapting to item numbers.

In the current political setup, the common man feels devoid of a promising future. Contemporary politics is like clutters of high banners of tall claims of performance at prime spots. Indian politics has touched its’ lowest ebb so much that the entertainment value of some blockbusters is nothing more than the trailer/teaser.

Item numbers put up a show and sell the otherwise inferior product called movie. Many of do what item numbers do for making a living. It is what Marketing is as a profession. This is what Chetan Bhagat himself did to catch the imagination of the youth of India by writing/proposing simple solutions which were not academically brilliant. The same are being brought to action by AAP. If this is what means to be an item number, then there are a lot of item numbers playing in the nations psyche. I am an Item Song. You can be an item number and set the stage on fire and arouse interest or be caught up in the stigma and await to be a movie no matter successful or not.

The Wingman

2014-02-03T07:12:00.003-08:00

The lives we live are not always our own, the dreams that come true sometimes has always a special someone to see them through. They back seat drive our journeys to destinations far and frontiers unknown. They push you hard to achieve what they could not or cannot. Preparing you for the hot seat and knowingly shying away from taking a shot at it. Micro-managing your essentials while you ready yourself for the big day.

Now that the winter is over, Sunny days and Leone wishes should auto erase themselves from the wish kart. Not many are lucky enough to be in a land where you can enjoy the Bright spot. Some of us land in tight spot between bright and blinding and its’ nothing close to the comforting 50 shades of Grey where you can hide without catching anybody’s eye.

Life stands in contrast to the weather and the tight spot that it gives us moves in perfect sync with the bright spot and is called the Shadow spot. And this shadow spot harbors our biggest ally, the often forgotten Wingman. Forget bright spot, they don’t even see the light of the day.

Driving through the maze of options and opportunities is in itself a huge challenge and often people encounter the inability to focus on the target lying in front of them. A constant fear of being attacked from the rear occupies their mind. Given the multi-front battles we fight in our lives, the role of a wingman gains greater importance in our lives. What’s sad is that this shadow species is seen only in the light of the Top-gun it flies with. And it does not end at that, the association with a top-gun mostly ends in likening the Wingman to an Under-dog.

May be the wingman deserves what he gets and nothing more, may be this is why he is the wingman. What we certainly forget to look at and fail to find out is the reason why he chooses to be the wingman while there might be other options. While its’ subjective whether the wingman is flight worthy what needs to be taken in account is that the wingman’s story is that of desire, a desire to be up with the clouds because being a Top-gun is not what it takes. The jets are numbered and ambitions countless.

Being the wingman is open to vagaries of taking the first step towards contentment and the sentinel of achievement at the same time. It is these who keep the world going. All of us have one and we are somebody’s, Wingman, the shy strategist who silently plans coups to anoint the princes. And when the change of guard is trouble-freely under control, the Wingman skips out from the coronation ceremony because there are Top-gun aspirant too many and only a few Wingman!!

The Buck Stops With You

2014-02-03T07:10:00.005-08:00

The society seems to be suffering with the excess of ‘diplomats’. The word brings different pictures to different minds but there seems to be a universal agreement upon ‘the kind who do not take any position and build upon others’. This parasite-ization of society is only in the interest of a large section of leeches, sadly forming a major part of majority (read society).

What legitimizes and hopelessly builds hope with this diplomat-ization of otherwise mundane acts of life is the talk of Democratic Dividend. Democratic Dividend is not like ‘Demographic Dividend’, a high decibel term, liberally used to the extent of exploitation in newsrooms and panel discussions. Nor has it become a cliché. Our distinguished experts make a fundamental error in their assumption when they say democratic dividend. The (social) diplomats, exhibit an entirely different characteristic which I would call ‘Multiplication Factor’. It is the ability of stereotypes to group and attract the likes. It goes without saying that the ones who do not conform to this Spartan specification of ‘Stereotypicity’ are considered differently abled, so different that they are of no good use.

Politics, organizations and specifically political organizations adhere to the geographic of cold and lonely at the top. As far as the organizations is concerned, it would help a lot if the top executives came out of their air conditioned cabins and faced the elements a lot more often. Even nature suggests that life prospers in the warmer climes of tropics where an abundance of life forms and overabundance of human species are found. This abundance makes Darwin’s theory even truer in these regions and a constant fight for survival keeps taking place. It is these facts that call for being diplomatic for staying relevant in our environments. Thus, a majority of us choose to be diplomatically correct rather than be spotted by a search-light on the lookout for the runner (in a different direction) to fast-track them to gallows.

And this is the reason why we observe multiple centers of power in this part of the world (Congress being an exception). This malaise has crept so deep that it guides every walk of our life; from traversing into any unknown direction. The path that it leads us to is the one too much travelled, and there is glaring evidence of it in the form of traffic. The fear of the unknown devil makes most of us travel the whole of our journey called life on this road. The rest, use it at specific points of time. The merry go round on this ring road keeps everyone spellbound, making us forget that this signal free stretch leads us back to square one. And if you thought this one (blog or blogger) is lost, trust me, being lost is the first step to making a discovery or at least being found.

The resulting system has most suitable people staying away from competing for running it and not surprisingly outperform in the limited roles they choose for themselves. Making the leaders look like an imposed one while the fact could most probably be a mediocre individual exhibiting the greatest form of leadership. So while the innocent leader thinks that the ball is in his court and he can play it the way he likes, it’s he who might actually be getting played. What he mistakenly takes for ball might actually be the buck, normal (diplomatic) people love to pass. The buck, which when passed is a hat-trick of sorts in the game of diplomacy.

The order of the day is to remain vigilant and skeptical of each and every trivial event like wishing birthdays. Actions, which were meant to be without any deeper motive are now seen and performed with ritual sincerity. While the diplomatic person bargains peace in the present, he bows seeds for a million conflicts. The mind and heart go on a civil war, while diplomatic people enjoy immunity like the microorganisms in our body on excess exposure to antibiotic.

The abuse of freedom to decide and practice what interests the individual is one of the biggest roadblocks to the development of community. Even, the world economics stands witness to a shift from Smithian theory and capitalism in its crudest form. The unbalanced model where individuals decide in their own interest and yet contribute to the common cause of society is a flawed one. A defeatist approach would be to dole out a verdict or bring the debate to a diplomatic ending by leaving it open. In its’ journey, the buck stops at each one of us, play it or pass it, but do not ruin the game!!

Love, War & Marketing !!

2014-02-03T07:08:00.004-08:00

Marketing is like proposing love. Love is war & the art of war has moved from painting in vivid strokes to shadow effects. Gone are the days when love happened at first sight. Today you ensure that the customer or cutie recalls you, even if it means crossing her way multiple times on purpose.

In marketing and love you don't leave it to serendipity anymore. Like Hutch your networks should follow them wherever they go and keep you updated so that when you bump into them/her on purpose as if it was a pleasant coincidence and can’t help but think ‘Me and you collide’. Always at the top of her updates, saying what she/they want to listen. Following always and stopping short of being accused/ assumed stalking. Provoking a thought and casually stoking confusion. The advice in marketing as well as love is to not go head-on, it may lead to mutual destruction, rather stay on their mental periphery so that you are there when they want you to be.

Not only should you be at the top of their mind, you should block their view of everything else as much as you can. The banners and hoardings at the distance should become the distance customer or the cutie wants to see.

Making the other party surrender in the ultimate objective in war, marketing and love alike. But a ring no more makes the lady fall for you or the enemy surrender. As neither surrounding a country is militarily possible nor is it possible to always stay at the top of consumers mind or in front of their eyes. Marketers and militaries are following the cost effective ‘String of Pearls’ theory adopted by the Chinese i.e. to become more digital in their marketing approach.

Earlier, a touching proposal helped you live happily ever after and if it was not moving enough for that someone, the pursuer moved on. Ditto in marketing. The only change being that now you don't let customer/her go that easily. You find alternate ways of reiterating. What could have earlier been done easily in a date now requires a score of Blog posts, hundreds of updates & if unanswered & if romantic optimistic planning is anything to go by, email campaigns till the recipient blocks your address or directs you to suffer in spam !!

Another key in marketing and love is not to give away too much in proposals so that they come back craving .Create mystery!!

The Romance is Over

2014-02-03T07:06:00.000-08:00

Being one of the first duos who leaves college makes an impact on your psyche. Its’ like too many YOUs pleading to stay. The cricket ground, the food joint & the empty roads want you to stay. You see your look alike at all the places doing what you used to do and dressed up as you would do, begging not to go. Each one needs to be persuaded that the time has come, the time we say Goodbye! Make them pack up coz from tomorrow we don't belong here. All of them have to be convinced or else if even one of them is left behind, they would keep haunting others like the spirit of an innocent man who got killed accidently or purposely. And thus you make sure that you have visited all the places before you leave.

The day began with getting up earlier than usual to soak as much of Trichy as you could even if it was the hottest part of the year. A sudden liking for the otherwise boring/bland breakfast develops and you make sure that you don’t miss it on the last day. Like a convict on a death row and also like a young kid going first time to the school, bathed and brushed, you walk in the direction of Mega Mess 1. The Idli on your plate says goodbye, the Chutni has water in its eyes, enough to make it watery. You read the newspaper for the one last time, not only because it fits into the convict on death row mould but also because its’ the only thing you read from cover to cover.

Next on the plate was something which nobody has an appetite for. Packing the whole world into a few bags and failing to do so, establishing the magnanimity of your world which refuses to fit in. Once again you think, why do we have to go but then bags do not pack themselves and you need to carry on. Not to mention, there are some things which will be left behind and carried as a baggage for a lifetime.

Finally the day comes which you had been backward counting for long. There is an ironical phenomenon attached to backward counting days. Not because its’ mathematical and by default the first thing you learnt. Its cricket-ical, and fast bowling at that, like reverse swing of the ball which makes your heart beat fast as you do not know which way it is going to turn out. Whichever way it is and however bad it was, the human psyche always loves inertia and the signs of resistance/ friction show up after a threshold is reached. You know you are going to give up and move, may be move-on as well but the frictional force increases as much as you speed up. This frictional force keeps us grounded, literally and figuratively.

People move out for better or away from worse but nobody can deny that an anxiety is always there about how it is going to be. The insecurity of being an outsider and losing it all in the new system makes us anxious. The reason and opportunity to try and become a better person and the amount of success it would garner occupies and engages the right half of our brain. Its’ ironical how we get so involved in shaping our new identities that we forget an era is coming to an end in reality. In the tug of war between Identity & Reality, Identity wins because it silently calibrates what we should portray ourselves to be and how much acceptance it would get.

While we move to become a part of a new arrangement, subconsciously we want everything to be the same, and not the same at the same time a la eating the cake and keeping it too! No matter what we are, the comfort of the notion that ‘I was somebody there’ makes us anxious and skeptical of being a nobody in the new environment even if being ‘somebody’ meant to be uninvited and a gate crasher to happening places. Why do we do this to ourselves or precisely I do it to myself, attaching myself so much that separating feels like imputation. The reason could be from really getting attached or the good-and-nice-act getting into the skin and then the nerves. To clear the smoke by soap-ing it out, the most likely explanation could be ‘The Michael psyche’ (the eternally expressionless and in-your-face character from Prison Break) is universal. First turn yourself in, and then try to break away, Of course with something/ someone. And why won’t it be, the things we want are always locked up. Thus, you have the entrance tests to get into a college, followed by an equally frustrating stay, culminating into the only thing you wanted, Job! .

What keeps the story running for seasons (and in this case, blog) is that you put hurdles, keep them guessing, may be it will be a happy ending, maybe not. But one thing is sure the story is put to rest and they live happily ever after and nothing interesting happens. The actors go on to become a part of a different story and that is very plausible in reel life. But real life is not in parts and yet it is. Stories are brought to abrupt ending and people are supposed to move on.

With thoughts like these and many unread poetries I travel into the unknown because that life being life, you got to act human. You come; you see and fall in love, and then move on to the unknown with wish of coming back someday and finding everything the way you left.

Of MEM Book & Confessions!!

2014-02-03T06:57:00.005-08:00

Ever wondered why we keep our Scrap book so neat, un-hurtful and all in praise of thyself. Ever wondered why our confessions are so bold and frank. The answer lies in the way we evolved and the peculiarities of contemporary times. Its’ universal that at the beginning of the end, we want to look at the journey and celebrate it. Probably, this all-weather practice of humans dates back to the time when seasons began. No matter how unorganized we are, we pack much better and everything looks neat. But you do not want to carry a baggage on your heart and thus do confessions.

We live in an age when things happen too fast and hence the need to document them or else we may lose them to past. Whats’ gone is gone and probably forever and thus even more the reason to alter it for future. Not only should we it for ourselves, hell breaks loose if not done by somebody else. The urge to indulge in this exercise of presentation gains more importance if the person in the mirror is not the most presentable in your opinion.

The Principles of Economics and Hertzberg’s Theory ensure that people stay on their toes and live more than one lives. Youth is something we cherish and the most presentable part of one’s lifetime. Age is something man has not been able to conquer and anything that helps him remain youthful is worshipped and is not to be messed up with. People have started becoming so competitive that they are likely to have killed their twin in the mother’s womb. Darwin supersedes destiny when it comes to influencing our way. Thus we do not trust anyone with the good old practice of writing our obituaries. The philosophy of life being in the moment grants us so many lives that anybody else cannot attach the necessary value and to our obituaries as we would do to ours. And thus we take up the right cause and write our stories, each one of which deserves being comparable to some Bollywood script with full masala. The fact that these stories are real and your calls for adding a little more spice. The holy river of our stories falls in the bay of Facebook and building any check dam or altering the course of its journey is bound to meet stiff resistance. And thus we write all our obituaries except the real one which we cannot.

The practice of writing scrap books have become an exercise of mutual benefit, i scratch your back you scratch mine. Scratch, but do not leave a mark, after all backs act the gender neutral part of body having moral police’s clearance for exposure.

If that is how we handle our MEM book, confessions are no different except that they completely are. Confessions are no more confessions, they are more about others than selves, more about accusing than confessing, more about proposing than accepting. The ancient method of confessing to the Priest and proposing to the girl has changed for the worse. The proposals to the girl have lost their meaning as it comes after great calculation and after having known each other for a considerable amount of time. Thus we have the new concept of confessing to the girl. If that was not demeaning enough, poor ‘confession’ lost its meaning and now does odd jobs of accusation.

Technology facilitates the exercise of self-appreciation and the laws legitimize their practice. However, it’s a given that Scrap books and Confessions are an act of existence at a particular time and place and so are our practices which are bound to change coz humans being humans love inertia and worship motion.

Its’ this habit which makes us reflect back into our lives, eyes set on the road ahead and rear view mirror at an angle which suits the driver. Not only does it help see who is coming, it also helps us admire what we are leaving behind. And at the highway eatery on the journey called life, we should honestly talk about the journey than the kilometers travelled.

Stop Gap Arranged Marriage!!

2013-04-08T17:00:00.004-07:00

Every kid in this country grows up listening and trying to live up to Indian values and American dreams, balancing the act of techie engineer and a hot-shot MBA. Aspiring for Ivy League & ending up in ‘Main-Bhi’ league. So, while he might have been competent and scored well enough to have studied in the architecture department of the best institute in the country, the social stigma associated with less than engineering and a love at gun-point/second attempt with physics makes him pursue engineering at a non-descript college. The joke becomes sarcastic when you end up pursuing MBA, right below an architecture department, only seven years too late. But then you can-not make somebody love forcibly and thus the outcome in most cases is a wannabe writer. And this means of becoming a writer does not impress parents and they forcibly make the kids abort the idea before it becomes mature enough. . However, it does not end at that and you land in jobs that are not meaningful or better say you do not understand them at all. If you thought that the ordeal is over, there is this arranged marriage one has to fall in love with. Thus, YLOO (You Live Only Once) and that too with the wrong person. Life becomes a Stop Gap Arrangement rather than the latter being a method of joining the pieces together.

So, while you always thought that this one is the last stop gap arrangement and after this I’ll do what I love, only to find yourself up against the great wall of ‘Stop Gap Arranged Marriage!’. It stands literally for everything we settle for in life and figuratively for whom we settle with. The literal part is also bitter in taste but can be swallowed with a glass of compromise but its the figurative part that leaves a lifelong bitter taste in mouth. Some of you may differ and somewhere and take sadistic pleasure in the fact that you are in love with somebody and being loved back as well ( the important, less probable and irrational part). To all those of you :Didn’t you go weak in the knees for Ranbir or Katrina/Priety/Anushka.?Or closer in your life, which we foolishly assume to be the only real thing because these plastic perfect people do exist. How about that girl/boy who was three years senior but looked as equally young at heart and body or even lower ?. Or the one you backed off your thoughts from just because they were committed and very loyal at that. No points for having given it a shot and then backing off with flowers for somebody else in hand and a cliche as favorite quote ‘Life is like that so better move on !’.

The society also glorifies this act of succeeding in a compromise. And thus we live, suffocating the dream of being ‘Prince Charming’ of our respective Princesses. And the argument that GoI did away with the princely states and princes does not count. Hopping from one thing to another in search of that break and break-ups as well. The skewed sex and seats to student ratio makes sure that you wish and pray for break-ups and breaking even in the exam, more than your proposal being accepted. It’s more and less for girls, most of whom are brain-washed about the magical day of marriage and the life thereafter. The day which anoints instant Princess-ness(Also, there are some men who equally look up to getting married and that is being perfectly normal). More, as the disappointment is more and less as the ball is always in their court and they just want to frustrate the opponent or score a self-goal. And thus fresh batches keep feeding the fire of Stop Gap.

Thus we become cunning, willing to walk over a fallen man to get out of this mess as soon as we can. Man/Batsman down gives secret pleasure as batting is done in order and for most of us that order is decided democratically based on arguments that defy logic. More break-ups means more fish in the sea, it might not help you but it will help somebody and that somebody could be you someday and thus you become devil’s /divorce advocate. And why not, let the best man be her man rather than him settling for becoming ‘Best Man’ letting her go by her wish and choose the wrong guy as in ‘Namaste London’ and saying goodbye to your dreams which has her as the permanent & only cast. The dream where she says yes blushingly to your asking her out. Enlightenment strikes and the girl wakes up from her day-dream & decides exactly at the time of the wedding ceremony that the guy she has feelings for is all fake and runs away, and that happens only in movies. In real life, she runs away from the right proposal and towards the Stop Gap Arranged Marriage. Sincere apologies to the fairer sex but you have this tendency to choose the wrong guy while the right one was standing right there, thereby becoming the biggest facilitator of ‘Stop Gap Arranged Marriage’, which I believe is the root of all problems including recession in IT. The guys are to be blamed equally for being the girl when it comes to expressing, forget expressing, even talking to the ones they want to. This wrong of arranged marriage cannot be done right as its meant to be for a lifetime.

Thus, we settle for a compromise tantamount to locking the bull by its horns and it might prove fatal to control the bull called destiny. The practitioner of bull taming would tell you that its not an animal to be easily tamed and should have been better restricted to being the work-friendly ox. But the optimist in you does not want to starve an enemy and then defeat it. You want to take things head on as they come but then be ready to bleed if your miss to register the detail of their strong, pointed and long horns.

In our mechanized life, destiny has ceased to have meaning except for feelings and feelings are drying up to the extent for family and close friends and certainly the one with whom we end up. A stop gap is something which was not meant to be and owes its existence to the unavailability of suitable options. It’s a stage beyond which lies our destiny and before which lays our search. But then complacence fills in and you start liking what you are holding and the promised and promising person keeps waiting till we come. The shorter its span the better it is. And thus there has to be too many stop gaps to reach where you want to be.

A strange comfort is accorded in this arrangement and the world needs to be shaken out of its slumber .How about being a firm believer in love and that it happens and not done, step by step, beginning friendship, and doing things you feel like/love . How about looking at things upside down?. We need to think more about what we want to be doing and take straight line paths than circuitous routes to reach there. Having said that, its always advisable to have a stop gap planned but do not jump to take it and should be the choice of last resort. It will save the day for you and you get some more time, more time to prepare even harder and take that jump out of the Stop Gap Arrangement.

Going by the dictum of what is socially and has parental acceptance, is not always a recipe for misery nor is it always right. We are here to commit our fair share of more than 3 mistakes. Some of the times we should live in the moment and not in an arrangement. Also, when its not meant to be, Stop Gap Arranged Marriage becomes your savior/companion who/which will stand by you when nobody and that certain somebody does not. This piece in itself is a Stop Gap Arrangement and I am not very proud of it but then it’s a desperate attempt to get out of it. Good thing that the government has banned Child Marriage, waiting for the day when the stop the childish Stop Gap Arranged Marriage. Do what you feel like, screw the Stop Gap Arrangement !!

The Predicament of More than Friendship!!

2013-04-06T07:38:00.001-07:00

Remember, that awkward (read all weather) friendship that you had with the girl/boy in high school, which became a fuel for gossip. Make no ‘Miss-take’, I am not talking about the guys became ‘Bro’s’ & girls became ‘Sis’ with. The predicament of more than friendship is that it happens and leaves you between the rock and a hard place. However, a few rebels find the experience comparable to the weekend trip to the Hard Rock café, flirting with the idea of more than friendship with a blessed minority everybody wants to be more than friends with and they, not interested.

More than Friendship is believed to be a feasible solution only when certain criterion is met i.e. an equality where the girl is equally interested in the boy and invalid for all other situations. However, since more than friendship function is basically a summation, the equation should remain necessarily valid for all inequality cases. So, the result of the function should be friendship in these cases rather than a slow and gradual death of friendship which unfortunately is the case most of the times.

More than Friendship is also misunderstood as an unexplained phenomenon where the sum of parts when tried to strengthen even more, leads to the collapse of the whole building. Structurally speaking, the likelihood of that happening is an impossible event. The only explanation to its occurrence could be weak foundations. The argument in defense of this irrational approach is gaining ground and has lead to confrontation between the residents of the Friends-land and their ability to coexist. In the name of ‘space’, we keep looking for mental cramp/camp. However, what underlie this human behavior are its insecurity and thus the urge to grab more land in the name of personal/breathing space, ending up encroaching on others. Widening our mental horizons is pushed to a corner by this imperialist expanse and as historic unplanned development stands witness to, prefer separate buildings each for club, gym etc. But then things began becoming complex with time, the more they were separated, the more they got entangled.

A constant fear of being left alone in the maze of the world makes us keep things separate so that in case of untoward events, we have people to fall back upon. And thus mushrooms, multiple small units of dwelling in blatant disregard of safety norms awaiting an emotional shake that will raze all of them to ground. Dwelling units, dotting the landscape all over, eating up the green space and slowly suffocating to death its residents. In admiration of the enigma associated with a pack of cards standing in triangle formation, we overlook the fact that someday it will suffer a setback, that will collapse it to the ground, and that too like a pack of cards.

Man’s fantasy with basics of chemistry has him fixated and turns a blind eye to the civil engineering that lies beyond. One of the many ways to define love is in terms of chemical reactions and that’s the reason why chemistry tuition have always been a mystery for parents and had catalyst like properties for kindling love. The tricky part being, there is always a displacement reaction or environmental conditions that will break the bond of love you thought was unbreakable. And that happens due to a highly attractive Mr./Ms. ‘Awesome/Amazing’, either on exposure or under impression of fictional novels. Thus there is a need to take ‘love’ ahead of the +2 standards to a Civil Engineers lab. Even though I am not entitled to or qualified in that area, I assure you that it won’t be a blunder if I traverse into this unknown territory. It cannot move far beyond chemistry as the largest of structures owe their strength to the properties of elements they are composed of.

As in building any structure, we need to clear the ground first and then lay the foundations, the foundations of faith and trust. Then we let the wall of friendship take shape over it. You build it putting one brick a day, and it’s a possibility with all the explanations, to sometimes fall in love with the structure. You start liking the structure, though its only a wall, but to you it becomes the finest work of architecture. To save it from the evil forces of nature, like any sane man or women would do, you try to cement it with the plaster of love. And roaring come the bulldozers of moral municipality, trespassing your property, razing it to the ground and it does not stop at that. You can't even complain. Their act is legitimized by the universal penal code of morality, society and all those words ending in 'ity'. The worst part is that the friend is always a party to this razing down of the playing field.

Thus, more than friendship is like the goodies that comes along free, in festive season. The marketer may be hopelessly optimistic and keep the offer running for certain regions which do not fall for a higher end, upgraded product or in the promises it makes .The general line of thinking is that everybody who gives goodies is cheating or the product being offered is of cheap quality. If one does not want the goodies fine !, someday some honey will find it a value for their money . But the complete refusal to buy shatters the imagination of the advertiser into tiny little pieces which can’t be pasted together by even Fevi-stick. No doubt, the marketer wants to sell but ignoring all his promotion and advertisement shall someday make him exit the market or worse shut shop altogether and its not a good thing for the overall market. The promotion will always say ‘Take me Home’ and it up to the buyer to decide whether they have space in their heart/house for it. The advertiser can’t and should not be brought to the book for having tried.

When I look back from where and how it began, ‘The predicament of More than Friendship’ has run its course and has taken a very long and arduous course. It survived many checks and dams, fell from falls and still survived and its time now to say goodbye. Oh no !!, don’t you think that this river is going to die by calling it a day in some bay. This river was meant to join the purest and holiest of them all, with or without her permission, today or tomorrow or the day after. No matter how long it takes and where it takes it, its destined for it and shall wait for the terrain/moment that encourages/allows its merger or acquisition. Selfish as it may sound and as I am, my intentions are loud and clear, to be associated and bond with the sacred of them all and achieve instant God-ness.

By no means, The Predicament of More than Friendship’ is a testament on the burning issue which had my fingers burnt more than once, but it certainly is my testimony and I stand by it !!

Complimenting .. a la Fast Bowling !!

2013-03-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

It’s been whiling away since long and thus I thought I revive my writing. Writing, my way of paying a tribute to things I love e.g. Cricket and being liked in return, what better can I ask for ?

And one of the ways of being liked is Complimenting. Complimenting, the way of praising someone leads to admiration in return not only because it’s the way ‘Complimentee’ pays back. This is how the human mind works, you praise a person and they think good and nice about you. It also helps that in our shy/conservative society, not many come out in the open and compliment, more so if it’s the opposite sex. Stories would be cooked up as fast as in a Roadside Restaurant and thus you camouflage the ones you mean by putting too many of them for too many of them.

Its interesting how things which exhibit common traits are strikingly similar in this country(more so when you have both on offer and not many takers). Complimenting /Asking Out is very much like fast bowling, an endangered species in this country. The more you like the Batsman/Girl, the more you want to clean bowl them and in this urge & you try bowling from as closer distance as you can and hence likely to over-step. This over-stepping meets with a ‘NO’ to your expectation of ‘Yes, I do !!’ . The changed rules of the game means the batsman gets a as free hit, thereby resulting in one more opportunity to bowl them out and hence a silly yet desirable proposition for the bowler. Shocking as it may sound, free hit is a desirable proposition in Complimenting, and you thank heavens for being hit. You hit me or I hit on you, it’s a win-win situation either way. God bless the one who innovated ‘free hit’ !!

As a fast bowler, one is entrusted with the responsibility of making the first strike into the enemy territory. But that duty which many would like to fancy comes with risks to the tune of Black Hawk Down. Same is the case with complimenting, you just go and bowl, mindfully forgetting the reputation of the batsman because it’s the delivery that claims the wicket not the bowler and it’s the wicket that goes down not the batsman. Having said that you would always like to question that why is there is there a bowling limit or the whole hoopla of T-20. I mean, there is a seductive pleasure to be derived from slowly making inroads into enemy territory and all of a sudden catching them by surprise than the game of Suicide-Suicide and see who blows themselves first.

Fast bowling takes a toll over your body as excessive complimenting takes on your reputation. Thus, train so hard, so that you can bowl every next over and that too only because you don’t want too much of you and still be noticed. In line with the way our minds work, the things that are consistently in front of us go un-noticed and the ones whose frequency is the least is covered in General Knowledge/Current Events like Haley’s Comet, which comes every 76 years.

It’s not only that you bowl well and its done, the wing-man/fielder has to do his bit. Messing up with the batsman’s mind by sledging (read commenting beyond approval) has been a successful trick since times immemorial. Thus, more than anything else, keep on doing stuff which would make the batsman throw his wicket in disgust like showing the middle finger in place of the index after claiming the victim or making an L which could mean ‘Love’ on this sticky wicket that Complimenting is. It might cost you dear or a dear someone if you take this approach but who wants the match fee or that someone who can’t handle the beamer which was meant to be a bouncer !!

Another mantra of becoming a good fast bowler is to pick your batsman.Don’t get fascinated by very tall ones who may look even better in high heels, they are the tail-enders by habit. The good batsman can be established by their looks, they are not very tall and of medium build, plays by the book and every shot in the book thereby making it tough to bowl. So are some women, easy to find (you can spot them in a crowd equally pretty friends) but hard to get.

The big shots or the big shot hitter aka master blasters of this game, a 10 on 10 if we round off. 10 to the perfection of their jersey number. What makes these perfect 10’s what they are that they take they take 7’s after multiple rounding up as seriously as a 10, with due respect and this is what gives you the motivation to bend your back, beyond the spine can and reciprocate the gesture.

Practice makes a man perfect & thus what is expected of batting maestro’s is to gracefully block the delivery/ dialogue with a ‘Not Good Enough’ rather than taking offence of the endeavour to go past their defence. ‘Block’ as in cricketing shot and not its literal meaning, by closing all channels of communication.

When you get them, they will act disgusted, throw their bat in frustration and might even hate you but you know they will question themselves once in admiration about how did you go past that wall of defence.

Too much in making a case of legitimising this abnormal complimenting. The million dollar IPL contract question is “Why should a legend pay heed to your compliment/request for net practice & why not prefer playing the taller, muscular looking friend for a knock?”. This predicament complicates itself with hordes lining up in Compliment-ary !! I mean why on earth would anyone compliment a girl with a cliché like ‘Beautiful’. Given the liberty and luxury, every woman would prefer being associated with things unique, ironically they shed their trait when it comes to ‘Compli’ . Like in fast bowling, its never about how fast, all that matters is a lot of things like rhythm, pace, bounce, swing etc. Thus, it should not matter who wrote the cliché/compli first but sadly it does.

One of theory that has always been quoted in self-defence of even flirts is that it boosts up the confidence of the subject and thus is a noble thing and should be done on purpose, frequently. Thus , right to equality upholds that the poor cousin of flirting i.e. Complimenting be also seen in the same light and the convict be allowed a free run as its not even a crime, even if it is, consider the culprit as Juvenile.

The thought that playing along with just about any bowler/admirer will ruin your game is misplaced. If this is how the big shots keep thinking, how would the promising ones, willing to keep their word, even the unsaid ones, ever get a chance ??

This might qualify as foul play/pleading you case to the extent of drawing sympathy. Drawing parallels & pushing it off a work of geometry, but aren’t rules meant to be mended(too many of em) ??

Its not an individual’s petition and probably a PIL. Thus, the writer should not be held accountable for things said in general/gender-neutral for the people. But, can assure of changing the game or the way he plays it. It’s the game that matters, no matter even if you have to be the wingman !!

Happy Complimenting: D

Run-Up to d Valentine..Starting Pongal !!

2013-01-14T01:46:00.004-08:00

You know its festival time when CoolDeep Thought comes across your notification and may be your mind, while it might be reducing the fun for a lot many of you, ‘life is like that, deal with it !’. 14th January is among the very few festivals in India, celebrated on a fixed date of English calendar. The serendipity of all these festivals falling on this day are actually double twins with many half brothers and sisters. Today and the night before celebrate the harvest of Kharif crop and thus prosperity in the form of different festivals across the country celebrating the harvest . Differing in their ways with the only common thing being that unfailingly they celebrate. Celebration in the name of name of Lohri, Makar-Sankranti, Guddi-Parva (Gujrat) or the very Tamilian ‘Pongal’. But my food has been coming from the kitchen/mess and thus I need not celebrate the sickle, slitting the throat of a paddy crop somewhere on the right or left of a highway. And thus I try to discover what can it mean to people like us. People who observe the only ritual on every festival of visiting Shopping Malls or just ‘Hanging Out’.

Other than slitting the throat of a plant which I am sure by the books of some ‘Oh..so Eco-Freindly, Nature Lover !’, somebody or the other is born on this day and thus can be the birthday of someone, you might have known. You got it right ! but i’ll deny that fact and camouflage it wait another that its the birthday of Hindu Calendar and not the daughter of someone who shared the name of an Ex-PM. But you cannot have so many new years and thus the importance of this day is to mark of the arrival of warmer days and not having to wear sweaters and body warmer (applies if you are from colder north). For studious types it signifies the arrival of the finest days when they would slog even harder and not only reap the dividends but root out the whole syllabus sapling from the proverbial pool of knowledge and restoring its life in the flower pot of examination sheet.

But I am not one of those who ever lost sleep over syllabus. One ‘jhapki’ and that’s it! (the occasions when I broke my vow simply don’t count, my Blog-my Bragg !). For lovers most of whom end up being losers as they never strive for things everybody else does and wrongly branded loners, the day signifies the last lap in the run up to St Valentine’s Day. I cannot agree more with myself when I said in my FB update that ‘Lohri can be as much about celebrating the crop harvest as about proverbial celebration of harvesting your Love Crop, which you hope will be laden with fruits on St. Valentine’s Day. Having put Pampering Fertilizers (read Flirt) & Showering Compliments all year long. May be you could not say, may be you never will and are likely to remain silent even on V Day but your silence would speak loud n clear !’. Or even worse she has been somebody else’s valentine for years or adding insult to the injury, says ‘Yes !! (y) :D <3 ;)’ to somebody else, and you start hating all the imaginary emoticons that across your mind with that thought. After all they are no Unclaimed Territory that u reach first and plant your flag & by planting I meant only literally ;) (so rest that dirty thought) . If anything, they are like the ports with vast international waters around them called socialization. Everyone should be allowed to sail, irrespective of TSD( Time Speed or Distance/Direction) without branding their course illicit-ous because which ship will call port is totally their discretion .But who cares !, while some may, I do not. One cannot like or have a crush only if the other person meets the critical criterion of being single. And thus there was another update and I agree even more to this ‘Its romantic to dance with a girl in dim light & its Lohri when you dance with a lot many, going round in a circle, throwing Puffed Rice, Popcorn n Munchies into d bonfire which flirt-ily illuminates and hides their faces in turns as if acting like a scarf to save from your harmful X-ray vision eyes, putting the spot light on different ‘Show Stoppers’ and making your heart skip a beat & pick a glass’. Thus we see how the Up-Date-errrr.. tries to bring out the romantic side of otherwise boring and mundane activity like a festival dedicated to harvesting. I mean as long as its not served on my plate, how it matters if it was harvested or is still standing. This will land me in a lot of disagreement with a lot many and probably thats what I want, being at the centre of controversy. It gets you the eyeballs.

If that is the scenario in North, the Hindi heartland calls it Makar-Sankranti and celebrates by eating Til-Kut . Til(sesame seeds),black and white when binded together with fevicol by Kareena Kapoor becomes Tilkut. That is not true at all and jiggery is used in the edible version by the womenfolk of the family or ‘Panditji Mithaiwale’ but yes Kareena binds men together like fevicol,the little, black and white. Forget Kareena, she is not gettable and does not even have a mole. Mole, a ‘til’ is what beats even ‘tilkut’ this season. It occupies your imagination, even if its not where it suits the best, to the right or left of upperlip. These are not the things that go into any recipe prepared on this day or a blog written for it and its hormones which are to blame for this predicament and are getting hyper, decide what keys you punch or the course hereafter which would follow the Ganges. A little eastward and you reach PaschimBanga or the earstwhile West Bengal, the innovator of Misti-Dohi (Sweet Curd). While my place has a tradition of eating flattened rice with not so Misti-Dohi as it would involve getting in IPR infringement issues with the Mamata Di herself and who wants that !. So we make it stealthily. Heard a lot about their sweet dishes but don’t know exactly how the bongs celebrate it. To our rescue there is always Google so please DIY !.

Sorry about the slip of tongue which keeps wagering out of control in the direction of good food unfailingly. So our (me) lover in this part of the country keeps his faith in controlled fermentation (controlled flirtation) and waits for the the V day. To make good all the loss of dairy delicacy, he names her ‘Misty’ if not Shona (dairy analogy better be put to rest right there! ) to keep reminding himself how much is riding on the next 31 days to come, and the hurdles along the way.

East or West, the same storyline is fitted into a different plot. The tried and tested ‘peench ladana’(enatanglement) on Guddi-Parv in Gujrat goes hand in hand along with ‘Nain Ladana’ ,and many a Kite goes down while doing this, literally and figuratively. But then everything that fly’s in sky is not meant to land successfully, a living-dead example of this is Kingfisher & the movie Kites. Not many of you might be knowing that Kingfisher went down because they were being consistently cursed for employing boyfriends of peoples crush and girls thought that it was Nana Patekar in Kites, the movie. So what did kids like me did? I was a kid back then and there, and not very good at either ‘Nain’ or ‘Pench’ and thus did what any enterprising Gujrati would do, collect the Kites which have fallen and might have sold them as well. The better part was that these Kites came with ‘Strings Attached’ and thus adding cherry to the cake. Before you judge me, let me say this in my defence ‘I was young and Candy’s were too good to resist !’. Somebody elses ‘Kai Po Che’(gujrati meaning ‘I have cut’) became so awaited and a music to the ears as the movie with the same name and based on Chetan’s 3 Mistakes of My Life is. The sky should always be open safe as well, why should a fighter patangbaaz or for that matter Kinfisher Pilot should take down an innocent cycle-rider : )

Down south, its celebrated over 4 days with the most prominent one being Pongal. Beginning with Bhogi when you burn very old stuff which may refer to relationships turned awry and thus looking up to the future which is here and now in only 31 days. The second day is dedicated to worshipping the Sun god, so that things remain bright and sunny and no gloomy dark cloud hover your endeavour. But then the thought of ZNMD( Zindagi Naa Mileegi Dobaara) strikes chord and our lover tries to observe life from close proximity of death by taming the bull of bearish thoughts on Jallikattu. And last but not the least, he goes on an outing to live life having understood the value of life. Having said and written that, I’ll end it here as even I have figured out what I am not going to do and its only 31 days to go. Goodbye :)

Claimer : The blogger expresses personal feelings for the reader, who should give try to understand what he is trying to say as he can’t make it more obvious. It’s on purpose and meant to impress and all characters are portrayals are real him, somebody or the other(living and lovely).

Apology : Sorry about the blog in which I said, 007 din’t make out in Skyfall, in a way he did but you will agree that he is getting older and has cut down on his habits :P

Mid-Night Mishap !!

2012-12-31T04:46:00.002-08:00

Its that part of the year when we make resolutions but people like me do not. Why?, because my resolution for the past 10 years did not come true and its an apologetic ‘ I’ll make a girlfriend !’, but could never make it. I am so bored with making the same resolution every year that New Year seems to be nothing more than a change of calendar and since the past few years even that has stopped, all thanks to technological advancement.

Mishaps happen on cold Delhi nights and one happened with me two days back. ( No !, you wrong shit-head, I am still as pure as Ganga in the upper reaches of Himalyas). But yes, men are menace !, On-road or On-Line. The second type covers themselves up behind a nice profile and are out there to trouble somebody else’s sister, wife or girlfriend. The irony being that you don’t know that you have committed a crime till you are informed. I mean how does one know if somebody is not friends with one’s own sister and that silly is your friend. In my own defence, “It was late in the night, I was home and in the control of a lot of cofee, when I saw the same red light blink as the time when i became friends with that model. But now that the model has deactivated her account somebody from the fairer sex had to be roped and hence began my requests to whosoever I had any connection with. Besides that,being Un-friended (the word is catch up !) by a Girl has a lasting impact on your psyche, leaving a void in Friend List which can be filled by as many girls as you can(there is no too-much for good things !). This notification was from a DU girl who had understood what meant to say in an update and put a LIKE. That sprang me into action and I sent a request as I always do which are mostly unaccepted. But it does not end at that, this time it got even more embarrassing (but I am unmoved !) when the recipient turned out to b a friend’s Sister & reverted back addressing me as ‘Bro’ and expressing her inability to accept my request. Not to be marginalized in this favourite blinder of Indian Women, I grabbed the opportunity of being brothers with her saying that A Bro’s Sis is always a Sis (though, with a heavy heart !) and is mathematical corollary of ‘Parallel Theorem of Friendship’(where a friends friend is not only mutual friend, is actually a friend !) and a destroyer of an ancient vow of not being brothers with any pretty girl/woman.

The fact that the friend camouflaged here turned out to be a friend in deed as he had said good and nice about my writing which this secret sibling of mine did not forget to mention . This kind of event is new for me as most of the times my friends label me as someone who makes unnecessary noise (read blogs !). Though, I love the way world has become a small place and you can reach anybody from the comfort of your quilt but not like this. Sorry Bro !, you said good and nice about me but I would take it as adversity reaching everywhere I want to go and before I reach, guess adversity has GPS enabled device and is tracking me, one step before I take it.

Trumped in my own game as I was, one of the thoughts that came to my mind was to type with the left hand only. And why not, the night was ruined! and I was very sure that she might pull a hand out of the laptop and tie a Rakhi on my right hand. All kind of depressing thoughts started coming to my mind and I started cursing Indian women. One of them was about their seeing things in Black and White only though they wear all variety of colours with panache but when it comes to realationships, it fades into B&W. They see only in Black & White, leaving all other shades of Wheatish (meant literally only !) . Its like they view it through the prism of suspicion and every guy who is not your boyfriend is a brother material. This prism can be deemed racist with the boyfriend material being Tall ,Fair & Hunk and ignorant of the fact that the original saying prescribes Tall,Dark & Handsome. The fairly-tale world of women makes them live in this illusion that they can find this guy and he will dig for them as well as if she is the only girl. So what are we left with as an eligible and sensible qualification (e.g. Tall,Dark & Handsome), may be ‘any two of the three’ and two only is fairly good enough to qualify most of us and the rest be damned (I don’t care !).

We had a little more conversation where she praised my work and I reverted with all the impressions of a would be writer. I found a sister and this also happens on cold Delhi mid-nights when you are home and have a lot to do but you don’t feel like. The city has and winters have been in news for wrong, it gave me huge satisfaction that the coffee kept me from not acting like a jerk. HNY :-)

Being Stereotypical Yet Unpredictable !!

2012-12-29T13:25:00.004-08:00

It feels so nice when close friends point out my over-enthusiastic activity on the social network and the gradually compressing social life. A part of me identifies with their concern and an even larger part , says " Baah !!". The fact that most of the world does not understand what I want to say is a big drag. And their understanding what I have not said, even bigger. So why do I or anybody else who are out there, being on their own, feel like making a port call by throwing anchors. The fact is and still remains that every ship would like to be assured of the existence of safe anchors or that it has company, no matter how high seas it has been or the number of storms survived . The reminders act as an anchor and the sail at the same time, keeping me from crossing the horizon into high seas and showing direction as well . But theses chains do not seem to be strong enough to stop me and probably rusted because of its presence since times immemorial.Moreover,this ship has sailed into unknown and unfriendly waters and i see many regretting my courses but still wishing me luck, now that i have sailed. I might be referring things in my life which i see from my frame of reference and i am supposed to do justice to my point of view. The other side of the story could be different, entirely different !. Could be that i did not move at all and the world moved or both of us moved in opposite direction. But one thing stands true in all observation, the differences and distance has increased.

But then its like a cautious kid in love with its kite not letting it traverse into the unknown sky and thus is conservative in loosening up the string. And why not ! 'No Strings Attached' is only a fad and is doomed to crash. One might have a flight of freedom but after a while you shall and you will crash. Crash you will,because there are social conventions, the rules which have been agreed upon to be followed and more importantly imposed. Though it doesn't mind spreading its arms and flexing its muscles every time you want to do something, there is some social law or the other that you might be breaking. Though innumerable, these laws can be summarized into 'Follow the conventions and be Conservative & Orthodox' . These conventions and rituals act as signposts for our blindfolded eyes,providing a narrow and safe journey to our destinations. The other option is taking the cross country track, which might be surprisingly short if you trail the diagonal or you might get struck on this off-road adventure. The reason for not many opting for the option is that they think, its meant for the big boyz toyz and they are fine with running the marathon. Losing in the Marathon is such a face saver that it keeps us from participating in races. So what if we lost, its a marathon where everybody loses and since somebody has to win,somebody wins and we don't care !.What they do miss-out is that the off-road format is democratic as it favours the men than the machine. Evolution of society has led to formation of rules and conventions which always favour the faster on the highway but do the un-conventional and the next thing you know is that their 4*4 is struck in mud. So while you want to control the kite so bad it wants to break apart even bad and live a no strings attached relationship with you, no matter how short it is and what it is destined to. The threat of braking apart becomes stronger in this weather when the wind starts picking up, threatening to tear away the kite if its not allowed to fly freely. The kite looks strong and uncontrollable as long as an end is still with a handler. Probably the best way is to let it have its flight uninterrupted in a limited area. The over-cautious care and hence the thought to bring it down from heights (OR high !...whichever you like), is not required. It learnt to brave the winds and ride on them, its inbuilt in his design.

But why do some of us ( and that refers to the one and only me! ),take up this course against the tide. Probably because 'Opposites Attract' theory help in attracting the opposites (both literally and figuratively) as the Fish-catch is more against the flow. A strange attraction is associated with the things which are not commonplace. The things which we do not understand the types which are branded mysterious,artistic or just different from the way it should be. Actin exactly opposite the way you should makes you so desirable. But it does not stop at that, you go a step ahead and shatter it to bring in the element, pretending to be out of out of the box and unconventional yet in control of the situation, knowing exactly what you are doing.

Before you find it 'gibberish' as my updates and rubbish it under the carpet, let me tell you the above philosophy is in practice and preached in marketing echelons as 'Social Media Marketing'.(its another thing their content is far superior but yes,the concept is the same. !). So while our society always had this addictive social behavior, its Social Network adaptation has been compared and branded blasphemous. The government is trying to rein in out-pour on social network ,but the bigger problem is 'how to book Bengali's for doing 'Adda' ( its a 'Sit n Talk' !, in practice much before Cafe Coffee day was even born ) or for that matter the punjabi love for bragging. And mobilizing an opinion requires improvising. Improvising, the easiest way to get better than the original with no danger of being rejected summarily. An even more successful is impersonation where you just copy and paste somebody elses thoughts or work and acting as the middlemen, thereby making the highest percentage of profits. The whole FDI/Telecom Pricing debate is about this, the right of the middleman to make unhealthy profit or the messenger underplaying the message. Impersonation is something which keeps our system going where we need suitable candidates and not competent ones to run the system. The impersonators run the system, don't do it in studies and you are doomed because the 'definables' are already defined and you are not supposed to deviate from it . Don't wear fake brands and you don't make an impression as 'making a second impression' happens only in quotes and most of the time we end up ridiculing and embarrassing ourselves in public while attempting it. The argument in favour being 'Why be youself when you can be somebody else and somebody can be anybody !'. The intelligent ones or the geniuses be damned,who wants them !. They are injurious to the health of system, a sleepercell of rebellion, a spanner in the moving wheel , the ones who would recommend major changes and destabilize the current arrangement. instability to the system.

Man is a social animal who has lately started living in the zoo called 'Social Network' and needs to mark its territory consistently and sometimes encroach into others as well and accept it or not, every LIKE you put or share you hit is a manifestation of this animal instinct. The animal instinct should be given way to express itself from time to time, be it economy or social behaviour or else it leads to stagflation. Economics and Social Behaviour agree more , 'activity is what counts, some will gain for you some will lose but do not try and regulate things artificially,this will most likely create a bubble which will burst someday. Taking about burst, your mind may if I make it any longer. So before it does, cool it of by venting all you have in you head, and I know you have, everybody has !! Happy Expressng :-)

The Loud Chants of a Silent Prayer !!

2012-11-28T05:21:00.000-08:00

Life has been monotonous and celebrations have taken a back seat, sometimes all you care for is that tomorrow is a holiday and you don’t have to attend college without knowing what it is all about. It could be an occasion of celebration and you are not invited and you are no more the guy who invites himself. And this is when the forwarded messages start making sense. I got one which told me it’s ‘Happy B’day Gurunanak Dev Ji’. I always had faith in Sikhism & Guru Nanak Dev Ji, but nothing bolsters that faith more than a guy in need. Thus, I said a silent prayer and wrote this blog which I believe reaches someone who would grant me my wish. In between being busy to get some work, I have stopped paying my allegiance to God but throughout our stay in Amritsar, I visited the Golden Temple to pay my allegiance. Gods, like Women need to be consistently reminded of your allegiance & my trips served both purposes, multiple Gods and all the women who unfailingly were pretty and could have given any model a run for their money had they cut on their dairy rich punjabi diet. But how could one do that with the presence of an array of eateries could have been another reason, where the elixir of life was served in the form of Pranthas, Chaats,Lassi & everything else that the Punjabi culture has bestowed upon us. Though non-vegetarian, the juicy Chicken Tandoori had more elixir of life than anything else. Alright, my tongue is tasting northwards and I know it’s a crime to write appetizing blogs which might leave you craving and hungry.

Coming back to the flashback as a method to highlight the present, this is for shifting away your attention and stealthily hiding the gift knowing petty well that you will find it. It’s said that today if somebody asks with a clean heart, he gets whatever he wants. So this is my greeting with devotion, kindly do listen to them, it might not be music to your ears but I took some sweet time in the composition, prayers are prayers even if said silently gifts are gifts and it does not matter whether the sender wants to remain anonymous or the receiver finds it nice. So where was I ?, taking a flight to the Sikhly populated Amritsar and my body following it in the Shan-E-Punjab Express, boarding the semi-punjabi Delhi and reaching the first floor house surrounded by by lush green fields and coloured in pink( If you thought I am Gay, you should have read ET y’day !) . The character of city was a combination of sweet and aggressive as they make it sound in our Bollywood movies but then towards the extremes of our country there is bound to be a regional identity taking shape of Sense of Superiority and things we find so loving and romantic, true in all the four directions. The city would be bathed in lighting and a grand Langer would be organized belittling even the big fat Punjabi wedding. It was like a grand cake for Babaji, as the Hindus love to call him and everybody was invited and accommodated irrespective being a follower of the faith. So no question of being shy or being invited or the formality of cutting the ice before getting a piece of cake. The ‘Langer’ is always free and I will keep coming for the ‘Prasad’ for ages to come.

Tapppp !, that’s the sound that would have been generated if my friend would have slapped my head in a friendly manner yet making sure that I understand ‘Life is in the present and you need to get on with rather than living in illusion’. In reaction to the imaginary hit, ‘Aaaah....you !@$%^& ’ goes my imaginary reaction cum curse. But I do hear you my friend, even though you have stopped saying it and understand your concern. Sky would not fall if I leave this one incomplete because sometimes you do not reach conclusion and some ‘CoolDeep Thoughts’ be rested for the better. Plus one ‘Skyfall’ has been heard to have rave reviews and is consistently moving up the charts even without making a point or making out in it. Thus, I am optimist that even this one can , keeping my fingers crossed and hands wide open for whatever is coming for me and my Inbox tells me it’s a 5000 pound Gorilla of the management world, and I want to be its breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner or the unhealthy ‘whatever’. Please Babaji do some magic and let it feed on me . :-)

After Reading the Compensation Details, CoolDeep Thinks : The 5000 pound Gorilla turned out to be juster another monkey who is not willing to part with its peanuts forget about the Bananas :-(

Nodding in Disagreement !!

2012-11-18T08:59:00.001-08:00

Spoiler-Alert : This is long & will stimulate the same feelings as the last time !

The recent post of Chetan Bhagat on Twitter (you can follow me at @OpineDifferent, i don’t mind :D) prescribes that girls and boys in a relationship should focus more on building themselves than making their lovers happy. Like many, FPS was the first novel non-text book i read and had a lasting impact on me. I am basically a Rastogi and sometimes try to be a Rancho or Hari depending upon how much room the situation provides me. So, the Hari in me wants to ask how does one build themselves if they lack on the physical parameter. (Wish ! Supplements and steroids helped Dark & Handsome men grow taller).And what advice do you have for those who like taller women and the its a love triangle with the women in love with their high heels. (The pervert in you likes it when they take them off though you like them wearing it, and I am still talking about the high heels !). It seems like the chief protagonist, who unfailingly have different names of Lord Krishna have started to preach “Do your work and do not worry about the results”, all of them at once. However, what made the books sell is that the characters were pursuant and conspirators. This made him a ‘Role Model’ for younger generation, in a society which has no dearth of role models and even Rahul Gandhi is one of them. Chetan was for the masses but has now adopted this intellectual-phobia, orphaning the masses. He stoked & caressed the rebel in you, and has now suddenly dumped him for being politically and motivationally correct.

Chetan’s recent preaching’s resonates in the belief of a hypothetical very pretty girl’s mother, “Life is to express yourself and not to impress others” (and I don’t care who uttered them first time !) but that pretty girl or for that matter any pretty girl is not impressed by expressing. Sorry Chetan, Sorry Hypothetical Auntiji , I listened to you because I thought those are the things that would help me impress her and impressing is all that all I intend, because I know how it ends.

Chetan is like the engine of a passenger train whom a large section of the society boards and enjoys the journey, the journey of a crowded compartment, stopping at every station as if taking stock of how the people are doing and reassuring them “ All izzz Well...All izzz Well”. But little did they know someday he would become fascinated by the majestic Rajdhani Express parked in the yard and being an iconic passenger train engine he could lay claim to the right to drive the classy travellers to their destinations. And these people think they got the fairy queen at the price of Rajdhani. But then that means shunting the passenger trains coaches without notice, not even reducing the speed, perfect recipe for a collision and casualties. But before that happens and if ever that happens, the clairvoyant in me has seen it beforehand and pulled the alarm and passengers get down from that train at the next station. There is another train called ‘CoolDeep Thoughts’ which would take you wherever you want, without any fare!.

This is a nation of a million mutinies ( daily !) and every act of an individual is triggered by circumstances and thus be respected for his/her endeavours rather than laughed at. After all, those are stories that Chetan told, in a manner that everyone could read it. Then,’Why this Kolaveri Di !’ ,its like he has eaten a heavy Sunday Brunch and is stubborn to eat the lunch as well. I have not read his “What Young India Wants” but I know petty well what it does, not to leapfrog into middle age by prescriptions like these and live their life. What it aspires is to wear worn out jeans, torn out at places, teamed up with T-Shirts and at times wear a Kurta or Kurti which hides those symbols of being a rebel. Rebel or Decent, its one choice and should better be respected.

Its neither their fault nor their job to correct the wrongs. I mean they should focus on their priorities first and its only natural that most of the times its the girl or boy they love or the mathematically more inclusive, have a crush on (you can deny !) .The 50000 foot high ideals and thoughts( CoolDeep Thoughts being one of them :p) can happen later when a winner in their personal lives would go ahead and help make a better society.

Further he goes about telling us to say ‘Thank You!’ (and chicken out !) to those who treat you badly . Saying ‘Thank You!’ is such a good manner but not meaning is so bad, Cold Blooded Bad!. According to him we should be all ears and go back and make changes and sell ourselves in another market. The crime of the current user being that it went on to give a feedback and thus we should act like an arrogant monopolistic manufacturer and snatch the good from her/him. In my opinion, we should thank them for making us realize how short we are on expectations (and sometimes height as well !).My little unemployable knowledge of management tells me that sales of goods is irrespective of the quality and marketing plays a major role. Thus, rather than going for unending R&D, we better take the feedbacks kindly and make the changes ( I am also trying to make blogs comprehendible and realize that by now I have lost you but believe me I am trying !).

Rather than meeting expectations and go change yourself why not stick to what we are good at and someday that person might understand. It’s like sealing all other borders when you are engaged in a confrontation at one. But what about nations like India who are surrounded by sceptical neighbours and has porous borders and tense one as well .Shall we go back into war preparation mode, cutting all channels of communication or engage and address the bone of contention. The whole idea of going back to the drawing board and making a masterpiece is a manifestation of Deservance ( There is no such word like most of my theories). But, a fundamental knowledge of Statistics tells us that Deservance is only relative and hence not everyone can deserve, even if all of them strive to. Also lives are meant to be lived and not strived, some of us might have desires which are not in sync with what we deserve and it does not matter because we do not base our desires on them.

People keep a latch on the proverbial door to their inner self while keeping the door open and that’s your chance, be flexible and get through the gap rather go shopping for a huge hammer and break it open. That would be like devaluing your currency by trading with many partners, importing all the best things in life so much so that the purchasing power goes for a tailspin. I mean what one would do with the built up themselves when the one person you want to showcase yourself is not watching.

PS : India’s Most Confused writer regrets using a well meant, noble intended motivating lines for vilifying India’s Most Loved Writer and as an atonement would chant all his books loud and would very soon bring this viewpoint to the notice of Chetan.

Of Rama, Sita & Raavana !!

2012-11-11T03:59:00.000-08:00

Deepawali is not yet over and Cool-Deep seems to have run out of oil. It is true, because its being put to task till midnight and a little long after that.I should not be writing this or for that matter anything because of some other priorities but then that would mean being opportunist. Even the proverbial ink is refusing to flow. The phrase 'Put your money where the mouth is' suits traders and I am an investor ( having taken up Investment Banking, I get the right to Boast ! ) and would rather stay invested and take up a stand or the more practical be the 'Stand-By' than shy away. Though the probability of succeeding is as low as Kejriwal winning an election (I wish & pray to be proven wrong !), still i want to give it a try, who knows the now so miffed and rightly so 'Lady Luck' might choose to smile at me someday. Voters and readers are most of the time under fascination and charmed by the writer/politician where the 'slash' is increasingly being slashed away and giving space to an 'and'. However, a honest writer or politician should always speak their mind. And thus i am heating up the controversial yet staple for every household in this country, the Rama-Sita-Raavana story. Since there should be something special on Deepawali, I am not doing it the traditional way and this might even end up as a culinary disaster or poison for which I might be sentenced to gallows, once again proverbial one. And before it runs out of steam and I lose your attention, I am placing the cooker back on fire. The pressure is going to be high enough and might even blow away my already tarnished reputation, so be kind and forgiving.

Ever since you were a kid, your mother keeps building up this illusion that you are either Rama or Krishna. The pleasant coincidences of your birthday bumping up with Dussera, Diwali or Chhath Puja. The last one does not builds up the illusion and thus like every obscure mathematician trying to prove something that does not exist we ignore it by assuming the value is close to infinity and thus can single handedly tilt the balance in your favour and thus be saved for future. The belief keeps getting stronger every year and this year it has reached the heights with Dussera choosing to be on my birthday and Diwali on my youngest cousin's. Seems like auspices are saluting you like the parade and gun-salute when you were born, and made you cry and that explains the crying baby that I am, coiled to the inside fearing every stranger is out there to befriend and then hurt my feelings. But an actor that I am, I can wash my face, put some lotion and you get back the tough guy.And thus the doubling up of celebration is probably being halved like the mathematical paradox and better be left to economists from top universities who have in the past taken up studies like these. Miss-Leading indicators make me believe that I am either Rama or Krishna but as its turns out every time, I am the Raavana. But this is not out of choice, whenever you meet a 'Sita' after she attained adult franchisee, chances are that she has already made her choice two years before about whom to stamp her approval upon ( As they say, catch em young ! ) . I seriously think that that this is an act of war against the male population of this country and the culprits be brought to the books. Never Mind, this crime goes unchecked and whatever you do to check it brands you 'Raavan'. Its highly likely that she realizes her mistake of falling for Raavana at some point of time ,and goessobbing, deep inside the mother earth , closing the way to her heart for Rama and Raavana as well. So even if the story folds out exactly opposite, its Sita who has to bear the loss. One of the men has to die, again a proverbial one at that, but then character assassination is as good as real life. Given the Drama that lives has become ever since Shakespeare saw from that angle and wrote so that all of us could, and for those who still could not, there is Omkara.

In modern age Ramayana, showing near you everywhere,Sita always makes the game-changer mistake of going for the Raavana ( A difft. name for the epic bringing Sita to the fore would have been more apt !). Ignoring the Bow-Breaking Bravery act of Rama she chooses the Back-bending man with Bulging Biceps and this probably is her revenge for the unfair treatment met out in the original version. Bulging Biceps is not easy, you have to take care of the right posture and then comes the difficult part of exerting force and so is Braking Bows, you have to first sense the center where exerting the force would break it.Why is it so that some people break a bow and its done, I mean there are other things as well which should be taken into account. After all , a girl is not a trophy to be won in a sporting event. Fine with whosoever Sita, Radha or for that matter she chooses in her 'Swayamvar' or the Bride's Choice, the constitution of India gives me the right to equal opportunity and I am not fine with it being snatched away. Forget Constitution, its manipulation rests with the likes of Sibal and our Ex-law minister, lets take a leaf out of the Government which generates ministries to out of nowhere to save the alliance and the government. Why not make an arrangement for ever lasting peace and love.A place right below Boyfriend and just above 'Best Friend' called the 'Stand-By' can be generated so that no lover is ridiculed year after year till eternity. Its like credit rating for loans, once rejected it haunts you everywhere and nobody loans you a heart. Having understood the tricks of the game and failed as well but still possessing the desire to be seen as a 'Player' and thus unwillingly you jump into the arena to be seen as someone who has Sportsman Spirit. But deep within you are retired and have a secret obsession with being branded the 'Most Eligible Bachelor' for the longest stint with the belief that not getting married or committed will make you as desirable as Salman, and then sliding into oblivion.

But, never mind its all written and every script looks the same.Thus, you have the girl with the wrong guy (without fail !) and a pursuant who because of his endeavor is branded Raavana. This guy takes up to the tried and tested formula of Raavana which interestingly and not laid emphasis upon, was also practiced by Rama. He absorbs himself into meditative acts to please Lord Shiva ( to bless his writing ! ). If you really desire to achieve something like a stubborn kid, the whole world and the heavens above conspire against you, to not have it and thus the tricking of a kid by god. Both Rama & Raavana worshiped to please the Goddess who has many forms and has cast a spell on the whole world but she would bless Rama a victory, and Ravanna a defeat that would be orchestrated in every little village of the country not to mention the big cities where they burn him heartlessly and in a grand manner . And his fault ?, a crush on someone ( Love does not happen in Kalyuga ! & I would love to be proved wrong !) .

Why is my opinion or this opinion important or relevant in any manner, I'll leave that to the readers (whom I force feed by writing sympathizing traps to read ;) ). The religious mythological controversy continues with every party making it a point to cash upon it and I am doing the same. Having taken a dig at Kejaiwal & Congress, how could have BJP stayed off this high voltage controversy ( At least i think so !).I just read that Sushma Swaraj has take the comment on Radha in the movie 'Student of the Year' to score political points. Does she realize that 'Radha' is the characteriztion of every girl who can dance so well and has a tendency to lead the flirty Kanha, thus in these circumstances what would Kanha or anybody do, show some guts, dare her for a dance and its highly likely that she would show traits of being a woman and act shy and thus you win. I am sure this is what they wanted to portray and besides Kanha being naughty, can say whatever he wants, why are self-appointed sentinels of religion taking offence.

Every attempt at looking into the matter from a different angle has been suppressed like 'Three Hundred Ramayanas : Five Examples & Three thoughts on Translation' by A.K.Ramanujan and thus generates even more doubts. Diwali celebrates the victory of Good over Evil, what kind of good is it going to do to the society if we keep censoring opinions and feelings.The other half of the story is never heard and a Laxman Rekha is drawn which nobody dares to cross and everybody is threatened not to cross. I tried to make an attempt which would not go down well with many and would borrow a line from a poetry written originally in hindi "If ever I cross the Laxman Rekha, Consider me Rama....Consider me Rama !!". And if you thought that the writer should take a crash course course in mannerism and have offended you in any manner, accept my apologies and believe me am trying only to express myself and it be taken in the same vigor

This one is a 'Stop Gap Arrangement', which is also the title of my next blog and like almost every stop gap arrangement ends up, might fall with its 'face first' injuring your teeth and mine would be more painful with the braces. Don't know which one is me, but yes the crush is pure as it can be. Everyone viewpoint counts and should be registered and passed to coming generations,even Rama sent Laxman to learn from a dying Raavana but we did not hear much of it.This was based on pure imagination (which seems to be gone now and hence The End !) and has nothing to do with my religious inclinations or beliefs. :-)

Figuring it Out !!

2012-10-30T16:06:00.003-07:00

A picture speaks a thousand words and thus you can imagine how many would be there in a movie. Now let your estimates go crazy and you get the figure associated with a real time moving picture that life is. Figuring out the keywords of this passage through time would require some meditative analysis and reasoning with yourself. A little casual approach, and it directs you to one of the innumerable wrong options. Life is one of those subjective type questions with step marking and blind guesses will make you take horrible wrong turns. Probably there is no right option as more than the options its the reasoning to arrive that matters, every option leads to a conclusion, sometimes so random that when you look back, your own decisions don't make sense. And those are the whole bunch of ingredients to cook recipes beyond the purview of my fiddling mindset and an abdominal torture for the one who eats(reads). Life has been an experiment and blogs are a figment of my mind, so lets see how 'Figure It Out !!' turns out to be.

Everyone has a very clear picture as to what they want to do in life, and invariably its becoming 'Somebody'. Without knowing why and where this might lead us to, we keep on travelling and reach milestones like the' Six Figure' salary, that 'Perfect Shape' ( more so in the other person as its a pain to make one ), Arranged Marriage/Love Marriage, BJP/Congess or the simple yet tricky 'how to grow facial hair', mistaking them for Destinations. The human (man) fixation with the perfect figure is to sound 'SEXY' when put in words. The worst of it all, is the case of the 'Eluding Percentiles' which if you miss by a whisker can make you a reptile and life moves at a snails pace, crawling a lifetime to take that single step which now becomes a journey. Thus we get tired because the milestones might give you the mental comfort of having come a long way but the hot sun above does not give a damn about it. And thus you begin once again with your journey to 'Figure it Out'.

Most of the times we are chasing somebody else's dreams and thus do not care to see what we are following and where it might lead us to. Dreams become a nightmare with the 'Sense of Honor' replacing the 'Sense of Humor' and thereby making you look arrogant. Those complex numbers would not give you any clue and keep you eluded and thus you make random guesses to 'Figure It Out'.

Having completed 25 years with four seasons each, makes it a century of seasons faced, but I am yet to form my strategy to score and how much is too much. Just because you are batting first doesn't mean you surmount a total as huge as Mt. Everest ( read Mt. Kukas or Kolli Hills, whichever you found tougher). Sounds too deep and high at the same time?, it does to me as well but I am sure its a momentary feeling like the one which kept you fixated for a while when a certain someone did not wish on your birthday and would probably do very soon. By now, I should have figured out my life, the path I want to take and the destination I want to reach and probably have found a companion in the process. But, here I am, travelling in two boats (always !) with my mind fixated on the Cruise that I missed and the places that I could not see. Boats are not meant for discovery of new lands but can't deny that I am chasing the dream with my eyes open. The likelihood of a strong wave torpedoing my little boat is huge but I still want to pursue what is forbidden.

And that can explain how a 'Chatterati' is slowly turning into a man of few words, a lot of updates and a dozen blogs (accurately). You need a place to vent your anger and nothing can beat a combination where you don't have to see the listeners (readers) in pain. The ideas are always there but you don't know how to give it a structure and that's the kind of stuff we need to figure out. That explains the prison of innovation and the gallows of creativity I have built. Blogs are one more way of expressing yourself to impress others, qualifying as one the 10 most annoying social network disasters and everyone knows where you live but they have mercy on you. But being a self confessed crap-writer has its own benefits, you garner sympathy even when you say this is going to be bad and people read to find 'how bad', 'did he dig his own grave ,even deeper ? (It will be fun to watch him fall down etc )'.

The constant irritant of 'Where am I going?' that your mind poses at you, makes you contemplate a course correction half-way through the journey. The reassuring 'Its never too late' makes us contemplate the likelihood of a possible strong wave that would throw you on the right course. Keeping your fingers crossed and eluding that publish button like the girl who would give you encouraging signals but never be your date. After driving long you wish that there is a dead end so that you stop this journey without a destination in mind. All the hopeless thoughts of 'Figuring it out' are just not taking up a shape and leading to a never ending highway and I feel like being in the middle of a sea, hanging to a log. Just about when you were going to give up and close your eyes (to sleep) so that you don't have to see the tragic end, a little red light starts glowing at a distance in the Facebook sea. The light is of a rescue boat, Notification that I am now friends with a Super Hot Model and Struggling Actress. The combination of those two in a girl's career makes her game for pampering and nothing beats a piece of poetry. By now you must be thinking 'How on earth did that happen ?', I'll narrate the whole story. The 'Social Network' provides an easy go for the ego and you can send requests to random girls you don't know without having to face the embarrassment of being ridiculed in public (never ever do that with the ones you know !).

Strange as it may sound, all those figuring thoughts are gone and have given way to fascination. I'll leave all those worries for 'Destiny', she knows best. , I would follow wherever she leads me, after all this is what makes life exciting and full of surprises. All of a sudden, everything is right in front of me and I know exactly what is going to keep me occupied for the coming months. With a little editing you can pass off your confusions as poetry or better edit the old ones you have been hiding because that certain someone does not care to listen and your friends are allergic to literature (I'll showcase them very soon by tricking them and you as well! ) . I certainly have figured out that that writing is going to be the one thing I am going to focus on (on purpose),and why not?, there haven't been a girl who went unimpressed. For that to happen, my readers should be able to figure out what I want to say, believe me I am working on that and a little encouragement from your side would take me the distance . ♥.♥

Days of Navratras & Dandiya Nights !!

2012-10-23T04:38:00.001-07:00

The ten day long festival of Durga Puja marks a special status in my scheme of things. With a hint of fog , a season full of festivities slips into your world taking advantage of the musical sound generated by rain drops hitting the roof of garage. Though it could be strictly because of the geographical reasons, the hint of fog in the morning and the coolness of air gave the festival a hint of mystery and thus divinity .Suddenly you have Diwali, Christmas , New Year Eve and the most important of them all your 'Happy Birthday' sitting in your drawing room, uninvited but a pleasant surprise you always wanted . You do your best to entertain them by an unending series of tea and pakodas. But then its your fault to have not seen the signs when its been raining and even the hideous Peacock residing in the bushes behind Amber-B,came out dancing in the rain, marking the beginning of winter in Trichy.

Weather apart, Durga Puja accords a very high importance in the lives of the people in the eastern and western parts of our country, not to mention the residents of Hindi-heartland who have a habit of inviting themselves in every celebration and occasion. Having lived in all the three of them, and being away from all in the festival is like home-sickness multiplied by three. Yes, they organize the 'Dandiya Night' here and I would certainly go, but it cannot match the enthusiasm it used to generate at home. Everybody's in the Hindi-heartland is busy migrating to some well lit street in one of those metros, but deep inside all of us miss the familiarity of those 'Galli's' which we called home. The narrowness of those roads created near chaos like situation during festivals due to lack of public amenities and infrastructure, threw the already crawling traffic out of gear. The place could be labeled happening in the sense that even petty non events made the politically opined public go into critic mode, but strangely nobody seemed to complain during pujas.

The sleeping small city woke up from its slumber into celebration mode ,everyone including those self appointed collectors of 'Non-Government Machinery', the 'Revenue Officers' of the 'Protectors' became a part of the preparations. The ones who used to collect protection money by force and fear, would seek charity for a change. The money would go in making different kinds of 'Pandals' and there used to be an unsaid rivalry to make the best pandal. On the tenth day, the marginalised District Collector would judge one of them as the best decorated pandal and even award a prize. Being a small town boy, you cherish all those little things in life like waiting for every holiday and the 'Fair' that came along and meant the world for the 8 year old you. Durga Puja had a greater call as it called for a bigger holiday, half of them declared by mutual understanding between the kids. The day began with waking up early and plucking flowers from others gardens if the darkness provided and if not manning the flowers in your garden. The belief of rendering the freshest and highest number of flowers to please the goddess would make sure that this exercise happened every day.Securing the flowers meant contributing to the cause, and we kids could do our little by doing it.ho . A practicing religious family meant more than fetching flowers, it required getting up early in the morning and watching the special series on Durga Puja on DD. A linguistically pre-occupied nation gulped down the series in Bengali and I am sure if they show it during the waking hours there will be fodder for linguistic wars.. And that explains the few sentences I speak in between, beyond which the language fails me.

We watched the series acting like kids absorbed in the 'bhakti', so that the elders would let us be, all day long and then in the evening all wishes in the 'Fair' would come true. And this would become the reason for taking up fasts as well , the other more important and obvious ones being the propensity of being offered sweets and not having to study . But little did I know that my sin is petty compared to the gourmet meal that Punjabi's indulge into during fasts,which virtually includes everything tasty. Everyone has their own way of courting god and each is equally perfect. When we were very young, father would read the Durga-Saptsati story to us and we liked it, which kid would not. Being accorded such priestly status would draw us kids also to take up reading the Durga-Shaptsati very early, though in installments compared to the single stretch reading that father would do .The little that we could take away from it was not to ever invite the ire of a women, which would be redefined later and gain a new dimension in the context of the Raas-lila by Lord Krishna.

Shifting to Gujrat introduced me to new festivals like 'Ganapati Puja' which was celebrated at a grand scale. The change in the way they celebrated Durga Puja and called it Navratri instead,was just not acceptable, dancing in circles revolving on ones foot was not cool and only a means of bringing dizziness. All I wanted was the 'Fair' and the daal to be cooked the normal way. Its the larger things in life that we can cope up with and adapt,the smaller ones are prone to sensitivities. Having ruined my festival all i cared is that they should leave the 'Daal' alone and not mess up with it, which now tasted like a culinary disaster for someone from the Hindi-heartland. I was told that the 'Dandiya-Raas', as the dancing around in circles was called, was a form of dancing which eptomising the fight between Mahisasura and Goddess, and this could be precisely the reason for some strikes landing on your head. Why on earth a kid who had been brought up on overdose of emphasis on becoming a good boy, take up to being 'Mahisasura' ,aware of the fact that there were too many pretending to be , there was no incentive to be one.

Hormonal changes took care of the abnormal dislike of Dandiya, catalyzed by SRK movies and the girls who started looking pretty. Thus what seemed to be being 'Mahisasura', now appeared to be 'Krishna' and every girl, a Gopi. The one chance to dance with every girl in the town without even having to ask and getting turned down, appeared to be the one wish you wanted for those fasts, and fast or no fast it was granted during Navratras . It was the Indian way of meeting an imperishable source of dates which could keep you excited and interested in the next day. 'Dandiya' kept pace with the developments and became 'Disco Dandiya' ,an amalgamation of sacredness and sensitivity.

The new makes way for the old and catches your fancy without fail. Shifting gears from the 'Practicing Priest' style to the 'Dandiya Dancer' was so good. However,writing a blog about an activity enjoyed best by being out there it like hitting the reverse gear straight from number 5. It did skid and has left a very bad imprint on the road of blogging. The situation could have been worse had it been in print , which could have been like being hit by the dandiya sticks of all those innumerable girls in 'Backless Cholis' , flaunting their tattos and men falling over each other to burn me for lack of a model 'Raavan'. Did u say it would still have been nice ( think again !), trust me butterfly tattoo or dragon ,its always wise not to invite the ire of a woman. :-)

The Comeback KiD !!

2012-10-16T10:08:00.003-07:00

All those who thought that I was one of those 'One-Day Wonders' and have fallen past the edge of the cliff into oblivion, this is to announce my comeback. Yes, I was dropped but here I am, back in the larger format of the game which they think is as good as retirement. Contemplated and even tried being the commentator, but its tough sitting on the edge and watch the action, I would rather be a coach, but even that would have to wait. Cutting the crap and coming straight to the matters of that 'Cap n Jersey' which most of the times is the 'Million Dollars, Billion Dreamt- Blue Team India' one. Blue is cool but once it goes to somebody else it makes you cry tears of blood and it’s not a good feeling as the 'Bleed Blue' campaign is misunderstood to be.

One of the many oddities that unite us as a country is our ability to forget the opener who played a crucial knock n hammered hard the already softened ball & submitted bowlers. ‘Cometh the Hour...Cometh....The Middle Order’, picture perfect when all the photographers bring out their cameras. Lights, Camera ...The Glamorous Presentation Ceremony, Champagne flowing in every direction making u look like the Knight in Shining Armour. Clapping in a corner, stands the epitome of perfection knowing petty well that a conspiracy is being hatched to bid him farewell. At the end of the game all we remember is only the ‘Man of the Match’, who cares about the ones who laid the foundation. He might act as the wall but deep inside there are cracks that he cannot hide for long. He looks around to find a quiet corner to cry out loud because the next morning, once again the gentleman act has to be performed.

All this did not happen over a night and on a fateful evening when the night watchman went on strike and refused to rotate it thereafter. All your life you might have played with the spirit of the game, running hard, taking quick singles, even if the probability of the batsman on the other end scoring a run is totally dependent on the bowler being predictable and you are faced with this 'Night-Watch' who would just not rotate the strike. The flashy hitters seem to have forcibly taken over from the purists of the game. Either running has gone out of fashion or everyone is trying to keep you off the strike. Hence on display is a very good example of the individual sport hijacking team sport in its own game .Making you look like a drag on the run-rate, so much so that even the 'Night-Watchman' gains the confidence to act like a Pro and might even end up giving you a few tips about how to connect the ball. Destiny-The Selector tries all to drop you in the name of rest, but you cannot rest people for long without an appropriate excuse. Thus they try one of the many tactics borrowed from military to cricket i.e. control the dominant one by teaming him up with someone who won’t stand for long. Thus send a batsman so low in the order that even if he stands the test of time, won’t be able to score much.

But then its the temperament which takes you the distance and not the power behind the strokes and thats why we had a Rahul Dravid & Sachin Tendulkar. The weight and size of the ball would make it implicit that it would carry to the 'Hungry Hyena' formation ,waiting eagerly for the tiger to fall. The tiger who had provided them with a steady supply of hunt. So, I would borrow a few gentlemanly response from these legends and frustrate those who thought bowling negative line is much more smarter than a Yorker . And why stop at .22 pound cricket ball, the football needs to be put into the goalpost and I am going do that with the ‘Head of a Player’ act. When the going gets tougher the tougher doesn’t go hiding and takes things head on. This is a header into the goalpost which has a goalkeeper, coz I don’t think its a feat to score without one. Those who think this is a castle in the air, I can hear the croud cheering me up. If you thought that it did not connect, replace cricket with life and it would make sense to you. Down but not out yet, I might give in someday, but not today. There is still some game left in me and I am going to stay till the end, no matter what’s the outcome :-))

Of Rugged Denim & White Tee....!!

2012-10-02T12:45:00.004-07:00

Only a few objects have stood the test of time as Denim has.And while 'The evolution of Denim' has been in line with men and some women as well ,who are now a different breed altogether .Its denim which had to bear the cuts & flinching in the name of styling . So while being Sober & Gentlemanly has not gone out of fashion,the good old trousers are now targeted at a very niche shelf of the closet. Denim has its own history but still celebrates our times like nobody else ,as rugged and worn-out as it may be,it gets better with time.Interestingly,Blues are a turn on when it comes to denim.So while the forms (design) vary,' Blue' is the sacred color of Denim religion.Though the wearer might have a hidden agenda of differentiating thyself in unearthing that 'So Simple YET So Different' piece from the busy lanes of Fashion Street or Sarojani Nagar.Denim, 'The Great Social Equalizer' hugs every body without caring for the social,gender,economic or the age divide.

The colour 'Blue' as an adjective signifies calm and peace , as a noun it indicates turbulence and depression, nevertheless 'Blue' seems to be the mood of the moment.It is also poles apart from the general social behavior of accepting things the way they are.Blue Denim is the new Khaki of all those who want to break apart from the 'Chalta Hai' attitude. While, a denim wearer cannot be blindly associated with 'can-do' attitude, it certainly is associated with the restless youth who are fed up with the way things are .Denim is an uprising by the common man against the elite, the working class against the corrupt system.Its the a manifestation of the struggles in our everyday life and never giving up.

'The White Tee', a poor cousin of 'Blue Denim' has also made its mark though a colourless one. A priceless possession and probably the only thing without which your wardrobe cannot be deemed complete. Prince charming to the poor paper boy,white tee looks equally good on both. One of the many reasons to wear one is to portray yourself as humble and trustworthy. And being trustworthy is never going to be out of fashion.The enormity of designs,fits and fabrics makes it one of the most versatile male garment which can someday threaten the hegemony of ladies tops which are miles ahead when it comes to provide variety.

The journey of the white tee has been a little comfortable and the arrival,celebrated.Made by the fabric and colour of choice for ages, the white tee or shirt becomes an ideal choice be it party or playground.Its as if, the tee has a personality which matches up to the occasion.Like, an actor moving from one skin to the other,it goes along with denim or khakis with equal elan .Once in a white tee,one feels like himself and this is irrespective of what number he or she is . Being elegant and high maintenance associates the white tee or shirt with class as the common man does not find the time and luxury to maintain it.

Together they form the formidable combination that everyone aspires to be,durable and clean of any stains.So, the next time you see this combination, try pick one as soon as possible.Its a revolution of the attire against the imposing dress code.Its like liberalization of the clothes from the shackles of the the mediocrity.Denim & White Tee are now happily married to each other and cool looks is a family tradition .It is in line with the men being made,rough on the edges,soft at heart , metro-sexual in their approach. Long live 'Denim', the unsung hero of modern times. :-)

Making the First Move....A Little Late !

2012-10-02T06:55:00.000-07:00

Hitting the iron when its hot and hitting the hot girl ,are different ball games.The first one requires a straight forward method while the second requires a little more finesse as exhibited by wrist work when batting. Many a bats-MEN have been enticed into offering a shot to those 'Spinning Ones' who make you go round about them. See the ball but don't hit it .I know its tempting but wait till the moment when the keeper and slip fielders become relaxed and then cheekily playing your stroke. Its been a foolproof strategy, the catch lies in the fielder leaving it to the destiny of wicket-keeper’s gloves and this is your little window of opportunity, when you must jump inside stealthily and sweep the heart away.Though it might sound stealing and not gentlemanly sport in any way,knowingly and unknowingly we use similar strategy in our lives where sometimes the purpose of a blog might just be an indicator to a previous one.Now, that i have directed you to what you might have missed, concentrate on this one, the Archives are not going anywhere.

Taking a bold step up and meeting the ball at its pitch,is an audacious act and might compel the bowler to bowl negative line and the bats-MEN would not like that to happen. Many legends and a good friend of mine used to leave the bowl when its beyond your reach and thus invited the bowler to bowl up. Its a different matter that my friend used to get clean bowled in the process, most of the times. In the process you might lose a few precious deliveries but see the bigger picture here. For those of you who might think cricket is too T-20 and leaves no scope for mind games,let me tell you its still 120 deliveries.

If I may digress from digression and come back to where I began. To hit or not depends on the how well you read the ball and it does not matter whether you MOVE (footwork) or not if you have the knack to connect it right. Nevertheless, the significance of 'Making a Move' cannot be dismissed for a lad like me who is debuting. Different strokes for different people and I will go the Dravid way. Its honourable to score a freind in the process than being declared a JERK !!

Bring Out Your Red's

2012-09-29T00:36:00.002-07:00

Its 'Festember' time once again, and thoughts, of going back to the same road which you always dreaded to be full of Heart-Breaks, knock at your head. I believe that is clue enough to hint and thus to hit at what is amiss( A Miss !) in life. Having taken enough lessons from the romantic movies that I lately have started borrowing , I am going to add some zing in my life by some colouring and that too in red( not to mention the OtheR thing which has filled my life again with a re-MARKed in red ). The situation should normally push me towards a gloomy secluded corner of library, where I am found by default .And thus, I am going to throw some light on me this time and that too the spotlight as they use in those 'Choreography Nights'. In sync with my philosophy of taking an easy and fun filled approach during testing times( youu don’t want to look like someone who tried and still failed ), I am going to take a week off and go back to slate and find out why the drawing in process is going haywire. Having done that many times and failed an equal number of times, I would take the safer option of colouring it, and that too with red. Anything coloured is bound to be more appealing than the bland sketches and some red would make it a masterpiece (Or a cheap imitation ! ), guess that qualifies as being smart :-)

I think that, by now you might have discovered that from where the rotting smell is coming from. And thus I would go to the root of the problem and shave off that beard which I thought looked macho, foolishly forgetting that it’s the car that is central to the purchaser’s mind and not the colour. But, what if you want to position yourself like the American Dream ‘Black Ford Model-T’ OR (OR, not again ! ) our princely and unfailingly white Ambassadors from bygone era, only a little trendy and yes, in red. Yes, it makes a huge difference and that’s the reason why McD and other big brands go for red. If McD is so desirable because of the red, painting myself red, won’t be a foolish idea ( at least I think so ! ).

The kind of colours that men and women have traditionally chosen for themselves has always been in tune with what they want to portray themselves as. This proposition certainly discounts the ones who wear shiny ones and aspire to become a fish ,and a ‘Hilsa’ at that, pricey, classy and tasty as well. The clarity of male logic makes us fill our wardrobes with shades of blues (denim Always!) and whites, but women certainly don’t seem to appreciate that. A recent experiment establishes that women choose pinkish things in life. So, while you thought that it’s the muscles that they go for, it’s your being in the pinkest of health ( That’s literary logic,though living in Pink City-Jaipur for the best years of your life might not have helped ! ). The male belief of ‘peach not being a colour, and a fruit’, leaves us with red, the colour of love and choice.

By now, you might have also sensed a burning smell, and where is it coming from. I guess am not wired right and thus the frequent fireworks in my circuit (which I put on display as if its celebrations of Diwali or New Year ! ) .The few of all those surviving active grey cells are now daydreaming about the evening to follow. At the same time another signal is being transmitted, probably from that part of the human brain where fear resides,that red might alert the prey about the camouflage I am putting on,as there are many who do it on a a regular basis and I am a novice here.

The game is on,wish I hunt one down and pray to be the prey tonight.Yes, I believe miracles do happen even if you have wishes which cancel each other and the second one being the preferred one here( it saves you from making the awkward and risky first move.......also the subject of my next blog ). :-)

Arrival of The Second Fiddle !

2012-09-26T10:32:00.002-07:00

The unassuming 'Second Fiddle' has declared his arrival and it applies to the 'hers' as well. For matters of simplicity and being courteous towards women, I would hereafter make this piece gender biased. The argument for the same is based on the preferential treatment of women and hence the omission here. So much for scoring brownie points, lets get back to the proposition we were considering.’Second Fiddle', the guy who does not take the lead in any work but ends up completing it and did not aspire to achieve something very significant or serious in life, has never had it any better. Always being the one who improvised, has now chosen to be assertive. And voicing or lending an ear to this opinion are millions of Indians. Not only has he got social acceptance but his life is now being celebrated as well. Thus, its no surprise that the chief protagonists in India's most loved writer's (Chetan Bhagat) novels were individuals who lacked the drive to go the distance and were comfortable being the pillion rider. While the driver had the skills and took all the pains to steer in the crowded and narrow lanes of life, our pillion rider had the high position and that is not only because the seats are designed so. And when they arrive at the party, the pillion rider gets down first to make his presence felt, while our heartthrob rider makes a guest appearance of sorts as he had to take the pain of parking the bike. By now you must be thinking that this piece has also skid away on flattery road, hold that thought as I am about to make my point.

It is more than coincidence that the movies which represented the same shift in social acceptance became trend setters and I mean more than the hair do. Be it RDB, Dil Chahta Hai or Zindagi Naa Milegi Doobara. The pattern continues into the breath n blood of the country where a SRK & Dhoni take up the captain-ship and the likes of Sachin & Aamir, steer the ship. A country which used to Hero-worship the heroes and leave the rest to the vagaries of nature and the mercy of Darwin's Theory, has learnt to give greater significance to otherwise boring lives of millions. And it makes a good sale as well when you are catering to the bottom of the pyramid. The ever increasing financial prowess of the country has only acted as a catalyst in paradigm shift. A changing socio-economic scenario has been the facilitator, where being greedy is no more gross and aspirations have moved past 'Roti-Kapda-Makaan'. This has given people the luxury to experiment and the aspirations of living life their own way or making your way the highway.

There is a mysterious attractiveness in being simple; being everybody's admiration and nobody's dream, and this is what makes our second fiddle so desirable. The common man is tired of the living meaningless superfluous lives, chasing one dream, all of them, all at a time. Always running at a very fast pace and reaching nowhere, and thus he finds solace in the simplicity of these second fiddles who unfailingly succeed in the end and which is as far from reality as the hero-worshiping ones. But then these seem to be true for the most part and that draws our attention. This might explain the present era of too many superstars.

It also makes for a good climax when the unassuming and deemed to fail , makes it. The second fiddle is also aware of its gaining prowess and the ability to topple the ruling elite and is probably planning a silent revolution. This might sound as socialist ,having been undermined for times immemorial ,the second fiddle now wants to break apart (as you might have felt, had this been written on paper !).

I am a might have fiddled with an idea which should have been expressed better but then I thought it better to practice what I digress !.Nevertheless, being the second fiddle has become fashionable and he is here to stay for quite some time. :-)

Making it Personal !

2012-09-21T03:34:00.001-07:00

Try recalling the last time you held grudges against someone who happened to be a beneficiary of something you were vying for.There is high probability that the time was in recent past.No matter what our values are and how rational we might pretend to be,we do not mind hitting them where it hurts. The recipient of this uncalled for 'violent hatred' which suits best to vent your anger in written form, can be anybody ranging from the not so nerd looking guy who made it to your dream college while you kept wondering whether the paper was of Greek language, seeing the omnipresence of symbols from the language. A little more evil could be the guy who not only made it to the college but also stole away your crush. But, most of the times the offence can be imaginary and the recipient 'innocent in all the charges leveled'. But no logic can be a counter-logic that "it was supposed to be a free world & the accused, hands in glove with with the system has trespassed on somebody else's dreams ", and as we all know "trespassers would be prosecuted". And thus, we take it upon ourselves to punish the intruders.

A vigilant mind keeps looking for opportunities to 'beat them in your own game', given they fall for the trap. The optimist in them or the opportunist as you would believe them to be, would fall for the trap and thus a very good chance for you score it even. Irrespective of the fact that the addition of scores of two quantities of different systems into one unit is mathematically unacceptable.'Irrelevant' even in your user friendly 'Tally' or 'Excel',if you want it to be more professional. But who considers maths or mathematical softwares when the mind is enjoying seductive pleasures in deriving unbalanced equations, heavily in our favor. In an attempt to prove our competence we sum up everything available on Our Hand Side equal to the one thing we considered worthy and which unfortunately ended up Their Hand Side.

This secret desire to prove ourselves leads us to challenge 'geeks and nerds' for friendly cricket matches or
any other such thing where they are believed to fail. Playing victim as love to,the result of the game could be to our surprise but it still gives great satisfaction that we tried to make it even. Not only that it gives one more opportunity to hatch an even more sinister conspiracy and finally beat them in the next round of this never finishing tournament of 'us against them'. Probably this fight is as natural as the ones in the Food Chain and gives the world a reason to get up every morning and get going, mine is to win the next game and the next and the one that follows.

The feelings seem exaggerated in the light of the analogy and the writer be spared being branded a psychopath. :-)