Cooley Chi

The Wii That Should Have Been

2014-07-02T13:24:00.000-05:00

It's not hard to wonder why Nintendo is losing the console war this generation: they released an underpowered console at a steep price tag. This is unfortunate, because Nintendo still has the ability to put out quality titles with the most iconic characters in gaming. The truth is, I'd like to have a Wii U, for games like Mario Kart and Zelda. The problem is at around $300, the cost of entry is too steep.

And the pity is that the majority of the cost seems to come from the touchscreen controller, which is the biggest hook of the system. And oddly enough, the Wii U can only support one of these controllers at a time, so far. This doesn't exactly scream fun party gaming.

I always felt that Nintendo really missed the boat on this system. And the saddest part is, they had the answer right in front of them.

Why isn't the 3DS the de facto controller for the Wii U, sold separately of course? It has nearly the same control layout and functionality. It would lower the price of the system to about $150, splitting the sticker shock among two purchases. Odds are, if you're in the market for a new Nintendo console, you probably already have the handheld. And what if it could support four 3DS systems at once? Then your friends can bring over their own controllers and jump into the action. And if they didn't already have a 3DS, this would be an enticing proposition.

And they could have called the damn thing the 'Wii DS'!!! That would have leveraged the power of both brands and given people something really exciting and new.

If you can say...

2014-01-24T14:11:00.000-06:00

"It is what it is"
Why can't you say,
"It's what it's"?

Liberals vs Conservatives

2013-08-30T22:58:00.001-05:00

Conservatives think Liberals are silly.

Liberals think Conservatives are stupid.

Posted with Blogsy

When You Buy A Japanese Men's Fashion Magazine...

2013-07-07T17:49:00.001-05:00

It comes bundled with a free A Bathing Ape watch.

Posted with Blogsy

Things That Happen In Movies/TV That I've Never Experienced In Real Life

2013-02-20T18:16:00.001-06:00

That awkward moment when two people are arguing in front of you and you say, "I think I'll freshen up my drink," in an attempt to excuse yourself.

or

When you're saying something you're not supposed to to someone and someone else says, "Can I talk to you in the kitchen?"

If these moments ever happened in real life, everyone would be the wiser.

I promise not to put any of them in my scripts.

The WrestleMania Project: Part 3

2013-02-02T17:12:00.004-06:00

In which our hero attempts to watch every WrestlemaMania in chronological order, in an effort to gain a greater understanding of the history of wrestling. Here are his results.

WrestleMania 3

March 29, 1987

Pontiac Silverdome - Pontiac, Michigan

93,173 in Attendance (A record)

"America The Beautiful" as sung by Aretha Franklin. Really.

On commentary: Gorilla Monsoon, Bob Ueker, Mary Hart, and Jesse "The Body" Ventura

The Can-Am Connection (Rick Martel and Tom Zenk) defeated Bob Orton and The Magnificent Muraco (with Mr. Fuji): Nothing of note, here.

So that's where his son gets it from.

Billy Jack Haynes and Hercules (with Bobby Heenan) fought to a double count-out: Again, didn't do much for me. Nobody likes a double count-out

Hillbilly Jim, The Haiti Kid and Little Beaver defeated King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo and Lord Littlebrook by disqualification:

A simpler time.

Harley Race (with Bobby Heenan and The Fabulous Moolah) defeated The Junkyard Dog: Not much of a match. Kind of disappointing, considering the characters involved. Harley won with shenanigans.

The original King.

People love the JYD

DATS RACIST!!!

There ya go.

"Put it on, Dog" - Gorilla Monsoon.

The Dream Team (Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake) (with Johnny Valiant and Dino Bravo) defeated The Rougeau Brothers (Jacques and Raymond)

Roddy Piper defeated Adrian Adonis (with Jimmy Hart): This was Roddy's farewell match. An excited fan jumped into the ring and (eventually) got taken out by security.

Kiss the Chimel for luck.

"Hey. You're not supposed to be here."

Worth it.

The Hart Foundation (Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart) and Danny Davis (with Jimmy Hart) defeated The British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith and The Dynamite Kid) and Tito Santana: It must be something about the big stadium that made these potentially great matches kind of unspectacular.

Too sweet.

Butch Reed (with Slick) defeated Koko B. Ware

Ricky Steamboat (with George Steele) defeated Randy Savage (c) (with Miss Elizabeth): Often considered one of the greatest matches of all time. I agree; it was very good.

Like a leaf on the wind...

Dat leverage.

Sure, he took the title...

But Randy neve goes home empty-handed.

The Honky Tonk Man (with Jimmy Hart) defeated Jake Roberts (with Alice Cooper)

These guys looked old as hell back then.

The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff (with Slick) defeated The Killer Bees (B. Brian Blair and Jim Brunzell) by disqualification

Haters gonna hate.

Geez.

Hulk Hogan (c) defeated André the Giant (with Bobby Heenan): This was a win or go home match for the Hulkster. This was André's first loss.

That's why you eat your vitamins.

Grade

A lot of subpar matches hurt this WrestleMania, which is too bad considering the stars involved. If it had half as many (there were 12) it may have been great.

2 out of 5 stars

2012

2012-12-31T16:14:00.001-06:00

Having a blog gives me the license to make one of the best of lists. But, always the pessimist, I'll start with what sucked

The Worst

Dwight Howard
Remember that time Van Gundy was being interviewed about the problems with Dwight, and he was being pretty candid about the rocky relationship, and then Dwight popped up, put his arm around his coach without any knowledge of what was being talked about? That was hard to watch.

The Hobbit
Okay, I haven't seen the movie, so this isn't a critique on it's quality, the point is... I haven't seen the movie. The guy who attended the midnight showings of the last two Lord of the Rings films. The guy who was inspired by Aragorn to grow his hair out. The think is, when news broke that The Hobbit was going to be a trilogy, it was like a balloon was deflated. It feels like a cash-grab, and one that I can avoid, for the time being. I'm sure I'll eventually see it, and that it may be pretty good, but it won't be the whole story; just a tease.

The Public
Blaming mass murders on video games. Backing religious extremists politicians. Letting Chris Brown be relevant. The sad state of social media. George Carlin once said, “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”

The Meh

Superhero Movies
The Avengers, Spider-man, Dark Knight Whatever... While all commercial successes, failed to excite. They all, kind of, just lived up to expectations. If this was the 90s, that would be more than enough, but I want something more. If you're not going to inspire or do something different, what's the point?

Streaming Services
Netflix stayed more expensive. Hulu has commercials even if you're a paid user. Content owners still make their content difficult to get to. Who cares, anymore?

The Walking Dead
Season 3 started out pretty great; it moved at a faster clip and had some seriously freaky moments, but has since become bogged down in it's own lore. Some characters act without motivation and often, the show just feels trite. If it didn't do so many cool, nasty things you wouldn't normally see on TV, it wouldn't be worth watching.

Video Games
Nintendo came out with a new console, which has failed to garner excitement. The 3DS and Vita are just kind of there. All the big games were part 3s or 4s, so if you weren't already invested, there wasn't a lot to be excited about. The saving grace, for me, were downloadable games, like Rock Band Blitz and The Walking Dead. The new systems can't come soon enough.

The iPad Mini
A retina screen away from being on the next part of this list.

The Best

Perfume - Fake It

This song may have been a B-Side in 2010, but it became a single this year... so... it's my list, anyway.

CM Punk
This year he became the longest reigning champ of the past 25 years, even surpassing the golden boy, John Cena. He had great matches with Ziggler, Jericho, Cena, Henry, Kane, Bryan, Ryback, Big Show, and even Vince. He was hilarious and threatening. The Rock's stint at WrestleMania may have been what lured me back to wrestling, but Punk is what kept me here.

Boardwalk Empire
Somehow, this show got even better. It was always good, although a little light on plot. The first two seasons were about character development. Season 3 was about turning points and consequences. The show was made by Bobby Cannavale's portrayal of Gyp Rosetti.

Gangnam Style
I don't need to link to it, I just had to bring it up so I could say, "I told you so!"

Smart Toilets
My biggest revelation of 2012. In the future, our grandkids are going to say, "You did what with paper?"

When One of Giada's Recipes Didn't Work Out For Me

2012-12-30T19:47:00.002-06:00

"Giada's a little bitch!"
- my mom

A Haiku To A High Shoe

2012-12-29T20:25:00.000-06:00

I've loved you for years,
But your sole is just too much,
Now my ankle hurts.

The Cutest Commercial Actress...

2012-12-28T17:55:00.001-06:00

Is Japanese, of coarse!

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Smackdown Holiday Tour Chicago Report

2012-12-27T14:02:00.001-06:00

The Allstate Arena seemed to be at about 2/3 capacity, but the crowd was hot. Lots of kids in Ryback shirts hopped up on candy canes. Matt Stryker hosted the event and the show kicked off promptly at 7:30. Stryker hinted at a great card with some big surprises.

Battle Royal for an Intercontinental Title shot This match included everyone else who wrestled later in the night, sans for the main eventers. Fandango made his debut in this match, to a puzzled audience. A couple of decent spots, nothing too exciting. Ricardo helped Alberto get the win, to the delight of the crowd.

Layla & Alicia Fox defeated Tamina and Aksana This match was surprisingly very entertaining. it went on for at least 10 minutes, which gave the ladies ample time to show off their moves. Alicia showed off some impressive moves while Tamina looked strong and dangerous. Aksana is an expert at getting the crowd to boo her one moment, then whistle at her the next. Layla got the biggest pop.

Alex riley defeated Michael McGillicutty I tried to care about these guys, especially because I think Michael has some skill. Perhaps they're a haircut away from being relevant. Typical, somewhat generic, good guy/bad guy match.

Fandango defeated Ted DiBiase Fandango's proper debut. His arrogance annoyed the crowd while his dance moves drew some howls from the ladies (I'm assuming). Uneventful match. Notable only that Fandango was the only heel to win on the card. He celebrated by dancing with a lady in a cocktail dress on the ramp. I can already see it in my head; Brodus vs Fandango, WrestleMania.

Tyson Kidd & Justin Gabriel defeated Jinder Mahal & Heath Slater of 3MB This match was a bit of a let-down. It was a bit to long for most people's tastes. These guys can put on good matches, but they are a bit more entertaining when they are more compressed. 3MB got a great reaction.

The Great Khali & Hornswoggle (with Natalya) defeated Epico & Primo (with Rosa Mendes) Once in a lifetime. But, seriously, Epico and Primo are some of my favorite workers. They adapt to whatever match they're in, even though it usually involves them losing. They can be technical, viscous, or as they were in this match, comedic. They really played well off of Khali and Hornswoggle, and helped make the match enjoyable. Rosa and Natalya got into it as well. As a result of losing, Epico and Primo were forced to sing, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." They really had fun with it, especially Rosa who shrieked out a horrible rendition. Then they switched it to Feliz Navidad. Villains.

Kofi Kingston defeated Wade Barret and Alberto Del Rio in a triple-threat match for the Intercontinental Title This match was decent. Alberto is so crisp, everything he does looks dangerous and painful. Kofi got a great response from the crowd. After the match they started assembling the cage for the main event, when Barret ran back out to complain about losing. He really got under the crowds skin and drew great heat. He challenged Kofi to come back out and put the title back on the line. Kofi complied, and took care of Wade once again, in a matter of minutes. Afterwards, Wade continued to cry, and challenged anyone in the back. Ted DiBiase obliged him. He got the crowd to chant, "USA" and avenged his loss from earlier in the night. This seemed like a stall tactic, which would pay off in the end.

Big Show defeated Sheamus in a steel cage for the HeavyWeight Championship This match was fantastic. Both Show and Sheamus were well-received. These guys put on a PayPerView caliber match. Tons of impressive spots, including show splashing from the top rope and Sheamus carrying him on his shoulders. Both competitors kicked out of the other's finishers, with Show utilizing a second KO punch to secure his escape from the ring. He came back to the ring with a chair but Sheamus blocked it, and used it on Show, to the delight of the crowd.

At that point people started to head for the door. Then Stryker told the crowd they were blowing off the curfew to bring us a bonus, six-man tag match. One that we would be talking about as it was a first-time for Chicago. People were starting to get excited. I had seen Daniel Bryan tweet about trying appear at both, Detroit and Chicago house shows in the same night, weather permitting. Dare I get my hopes up? When Stryker confirmed that Ryback had just arrived the crowd went bonkers. Then I knew what we were getting.

Team Hell No & Ryback defeated The Shield Ryback owned the crowd. Daniel Bryan is super over. Kane still brings the excitement. The Shield terrified some with their crowd entrance. The match was fast, hectic, and hard hitting. It was super satisfying. Afterwards, Kane and Daniel got into their normal bickering which led to a hug it out moment. Then Daniel got to into the "Feed Me More" chant, which weirded out Ryback. Daniel offered to hug it out. They settled on a handshake.

In the past year, I've been to the Extreme Rules PPV, Raw 1000, and now this house show. This was the most exciting of all the events. The atmosphere was more casual, and not hung-up on story lines. There were no commercial breaks so the action moved at a good pace. More than half the card were lower tier stars but they put on quality matches. I even liked the way the ring was lit.

A major part of my enjoyment was due to the fact that I decided to cheer all the faces and boo the heels. It's much more fun to chant along than to be snarky.

Can't wait for the next show.

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Here's Hoping

2012-12-26T13:37:00.001-06:00

Heading to the Smackdown house show at the Allstate Arena. While the Raw show in Detroit has Cena vs Ziggler, Hell No and Ryback vs The Shield in a cage, and The Rhodes Scholars against The New Age Outlaws, Chicago doesn't appear as lucky. We're getting Show vs Sheamus in a cage, which should be good, but the rest of the roster is looking a bit weak.

I'm hoping for a surprise hometown appearance.

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Merry Christmas?

2012-12-25T15:34:00.001-06:00

Due to the recent backlash from the Christian sector, it seems like a lot of businesses are going back to wishing customers, "A Merry Christmas!"

This always makes me feel a little awkward, which is kind of stupid. I feel like, "I do celebrate Christmas, but you shouldn't assume that."

It's like I'm offended that you guessed right; "YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE!"

But to top it off, I'm not even Christian, I just love Christmas, which I'm sure offends somebody.

So, Happy Holidays.

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The Only Bad Thing About Die Hard 3...

2012-12-24T11:01:00.002-06:00

is that it didn't take place during Christmas.

Today's Inspiration

2012-12-23T17:18:00.001-06:00

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Right In The Feels

2012-12-22T17:27:00.001-06:00

Kane & Tim Meadows

2012-12-21T16:25:00.000-06:00

The similarities are eerie.

Both were part of legendary and fondly remembered 90s casts.

And both stuck around for a long time.

Both have genius, eccentric bosses.

Both starred in poorly received movies.

And both are brothers.

A Quote from Woody Allen

2012-12-20T20:14:00.000-06:00

From "Annie Hall"

There's an old joke. Uh, two elderly women are at a Catskills mountain resort, and one of 'em says: "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know, and such ... small portions."

How People Find This Site

2012-12-19T17:29:00.001-06:00

I'm coming up on the one year mark of posting something new everyday. Since then my "readership" has grown greatly and steadily. Let's take a look at the most popular keywords people type into search engines to get to this site.

"2012 mlb postseason bracket"
This must have upset a lot of people. Most were probably looking for a blank bracket they could fill out at the office, not my predictions. Sorry.

"blackberry 1000 emails a day"
I knew I wasn't the only one annoyed by those commercials. Referring this post.

"cooleychi.blogspot.com"
I guess, from people who are confused which bar is for searching and which one is for URLs?

"comics culture"
Uhm, sometimes.

"lawrence hilton-jacobs"
My man.

What The Next Walking Dead Game Needs To Be

2012-12-18T15:34:00.000-06:00

I've only finished the first chapter in The Walking Dead adventure game, and as everyone who's played it has stated, it's awesome. Essentially, all you're doing is making choices, who to side with, what to do, even who to save. These choices have impacts on relationships and events that'll play out in the story. Very cool stuff.

But I do have a suggestion for the next version:

Make it multiplayer!

The iPhone can already do multiplayer games. How about the action is streamed on your Apple TV, while everyone with an iOS device gets to vote on choices? Then after big decisions, it shows who voted which way. It's a way to share the compelling story, and argue with your friends about the choices they voted on.

What Kid Is Asking For This?

2012-12-17T16:07:00.001-06:00

Baby abuelito?

TLC Predictions

2012-12-16T10:11:00.000-06:00

Kaitlyn wins Divas Battle Royal

Team Rhodes Scholars over Rey and Sin Cara

Cesario successfully defends over R-Truth

Kofi successfully defends over Wade

Sheamus regains Heavyweight title...

until...

Ziggler cashes in. Becomes new champ. Before he can celebrate, Vince orders for the belt to be hung above the ladder...

Ziggler defeats Cena for the Heavyweight title.

Team Hell No and Ryback defeat The Shield, although this is the one I feel least sure of.

Filth

2012-12-15T18:18:00.001-06:00

It's funny how comfortable you feel in your own messy room or in your own slightly mildewy shower or in dirty jeans; but the slightest bit of grime or dirty dishes in someone else's home is completely unnerving.

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Roomba

2012-12-14T20:00:00.001-06:00

I bought a Roomba so I wouldn't have to vacuum and my room would always be cleaned, but I actually spend most of the time watching it clean.

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The Race Is On

2012-12-13T20:40:00.001-06:00

Which of these celebrities will suddenly and surprisingly lose more weight in 2013?

Posted with Blogsy