CooterPunch

Southwest Airlines reject girl - naked

2007-11-16T20:00:00.000-05:00

Remember this story?

Long story short - she's now naked.
Click here. Enjoy the silicon/saline goodness!

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2007-07-27T09:09:00.000-04:00

You say our love
Is like dynamite
Open your eyes
'Cause it's like fire and ice
Well you're killing me
Your love's a guillotine
Why don't you just set me freeeeeee

What's up hookers and hookettes?!

We hope you had a great week. And you know that when we ring in the weekend, we come correct. This Friday, no exception. Happy Girl on Girl Friday peoples!

It was a busy week, even without much updating. Beyonce's little spill seemed to be pulled from just about every site, including ours. But we backed up the video just before it was yanked and have been hosting it since. We still watch it a few times a day for a good laugh. And it looks like a crapload of you might've loved watching it more than we did. That shit is funny!

So thanks for the love and support. We've received lots of feedback recently and we love it! Keep it coming. Cooterpunch loves you more than your mom.

Beyonce falls again!

2007-07-25T09:21:00.000-04:00

Bitch needs walking classes. Check the video of Beyonce falling head first down some steps during a show in Orlando on July 24th

This isn't her first spill. Remember this?

Props to the girl for still rockin' it after the tumble though.

Video was taken down but we have since re-uploaded it

Cooterpunch reminder - Don't forget about our weekly Girl-on-Girl Fridays!!

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2007-07-20T10:54:00.000-04:00

And I'm back on the reef,
where I throw my net out into the sea.
All the fine hinas come swimming to me.
They hold me and they promise me things.
And when the tides high I cry like a little baby.
Don't give me no right kind a love no Sunday morning.
I don't want no puppy loving.

Oooooh hell yes! What's up hookers and hookettes?!? Hope you had a good week.

We're here to kick off your weekend the best way. Happy Girl on Girl Friday! Have an excellent weekend and thanks for stopping by.

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2007-07-12T23:52:00.000-04:00

'Cause the walls started shakin,
The earth was quakin,
My mind was achin',
And we were makin' it and you...

What's up hookers and hookettes?!?

Hope you've had a good week. If you're on the East coast, you might have actually melted by now. It's been insanely hot! And since today is Friday, we plan on adding to the heat baby. Happy Girl on Girl Friday!!!

We hope you have one hell of a weekend! Thanks for stopping by.

*click to enlarge*

The DC Madam - phone records

2007-07-10T00:53:00.000-04:00

We'll admit it - we're not big fans of politics. In fact, most politicians are jokes to us. So when “The D.C. Madame” / Deborah Jeane Palfrey decided to actually go through with her threat to publish her potentially damaging phone records, we became interested.

Unfortunately, as soon as the records became available on her site, the site crashed.

But we were quick enough to grab what we could before the ship went down and would like to share what we have so far (08/22/06 and 12/22/05... more coming soon)

And for the fallout, just click here and watch these guys go down like flies. Already apologizing for their "very serious sins". We love this shit!

(click to enlarge)

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2007-07-06T09:15:00.000-04:00

Out on the streets,
that's where we'll meet
You make the night,
I always cross the line
Tightened our belts,
abuse ourselves
Get in our way,
we'll put you on your shelf

Heeeey what's up hookers and hookettes!

We hope you've been having an excellent holiday week so far. Friday couldn't have come sooner. And of course, we like to ring in the weekend with style the only way we know how.

Happy Girl on Girl Friday to our peoples!!! We love you guys. Keep the emails coming. We love hearing from you!

Anyway, have one hell of a weekend everyone and thanks for stopping by!

Nick Lachey & Vanessa Minnillo sex tape pictures

2007-07-05T22:09:00.000-04:00

This is too good not to share.
Nick Lachey banging the living shit out of girlfriend Vanessa Minillo while in Mexico. Almost looks staged, doesn't it?

*click to enlarge*

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2007-06-29T00:04:00.000-04:00

I got her and her sister in...
that white Benz,
dyke twins,
I ain't gonna lie they only fives
but together they tens
And would I do 'em again?
Hmmm, hmmm?
Its like old folks pissin cuz it all depends

What's up hookers and hookettes? It's been too long since we welcomed in the weekend with a healthy dose of Girl on Girl Friday. We've been getting spanked with emails asking what the deal is. So we decided not to leave you hanging much longer.

Have a great Friday peoples and an excellent freakin weekend. Te amamos mucho!!

Sopranos fans: Unhappy with the ending? Well read....

2007-06-11T15:20:00.000-04:00

I read this today and am glad I did. Because it all makes sense now and turned the Sopranos finale from shit to shine...

Tony DID get whacked. The only question is by who?

Remember first Bobby's comments to Tony earlier this season about getting whacked (which were also replayed either last week or the week before). He said something to the effect of "you don't see it coming, you don't feel nothing, everything just fades to black". That was your ending.

As for the who, take note of the credits for the folks in the restaurant at the end. The guy at the counter that goes to the bathroom is Nikki Leotardo, Phil's nephew. The black men are the same ones that shot Tony in season two, but only clipped his ear. Oddly, the Boy Scouts were in the store last week when Bobby got it, so they are going to have some issues, but my money says it wasn't the Boy Scouts.

My money says that based on the title, "Made in America", it was the trucker with the hat that read "USA". The same trucker who was the brother of the trucker that Christopher robbed and killed in season two...he was the guy that had to identify the body. It's all in the credits.

But Tony was, indeed, whacked.

Combine this with the appearance of Steven van Zandt (Sil) on a morning radio show saying, "The answer is in the credits"... and you've got your finale.

Pretty bad ass is you ask us.

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2007-05-25T10:30:00.000-04:00

Wake up in the morning,
clock says half past one
I have no sunglasses
As I step into the sun
There's no recollection
of the evil things I've done
My head feels like I must've had some fun

Ok so it's been a slow week here. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. BUT, hopefully you still love us... even a little bit? You do know today is Girl on Girl Friday, right? Ahh, there we go. Much better!

Have an excellent holiday weekend everyone, thanks for stopping by and Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

Today's Funniest Headline

2007-05-11T01:41:00.000-04:00

Man with panties on face attempts to rob W.VA store
(actual headline on local newspaper's website)

INWOOD, W.Va. (AP) — A thief covered his face with a pair of blue women’s underwear and used a pistol-shaped cigarette lighter in a botched robbery of a convenience store, police said.

“I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried,” State Police Sgt. T.C. Kearns told The Journal in Martinsburg.

The cashier at first thought it was a joke and refused to give the man any money, so he ran to a Jeep Cherokee and drove away at about 4 a.m. Wednesday, Kearns said.

A few minutes later, police stopped a vehicle matching that description and took two men into custody.

Police later charged Steven Clay Stephenson, 34, of Ranson in the convenience story robbery.

Kearns said police found a pistol-shaped lighter while searching Stephenson. The underwear was recovered nearby.

Stephenson is charged with nighttime burglary, attempted robber, first-offense driving under the influence, petit larceny and improper registration.

He was being held Thursday at the Eastern Regional Jail. The Berkeley County Prosecuting Attorney’s Office had no record of a defense attorney being assigned yet to represent Stephenson.

The funniest part of the story?
Not the panties on the head part.

But look at what he was charged with -
Stephenson is charged with nighttime burglary, attempted robber, first-offense driving under the influence, petit larceny and improper registration.

Nighttime burglary? Does that carry a heavier punishment than daytime burglary?

Happy Girl on Girl Friday!

2007-05-11T00:12:00.000-04:00

If I could bottle my hopes in a store bought scent
They'd be nutmeg peach and they'd pay the rent
And I'd ride a horse, and I'd teach a course
on how I got to be a star crossed pimp

Well holy crap.

We go away for a bit, come back, and it looks like you might've missed us jussst a bit. Ok, more than just a bit.

We had more hits this past week than we've ever had. Ever. Tens & tens of thousands of hits this week and damn it feels good! We know the love is there. We feel it in the emails we get everyday. Whether it's criticism or the always welcomed, "Hey! Love you guys. Love the site. Keep doin what you're doin" ; we love it all. And yes, we've heard your cries for a comments option... stay tuned.

Hey we almost forgot. Happy Girl on Girl Friday hookers and hookettes!! Have yourself one excellent weekend and thanks again for all the love & support. Make sure to let your friends know about Cooterpunch!

Cooterpunch catch of the day

2007-05-10T15:14:00.000-04:00

While we're not from Chicago, we never miss an opportunity to catch the Cubs anytime they're on TV during the day. And today was no exception.

Check out this nice grab in dead center field by a little Cubs fan. We enjoyed it so much, that we wanted to get it on video and share it with you.

It's moments like these when you're a kid that help make certain ball players your favorite. Just as I'm sure Aramis Ramirez is now this kid's favorite baseball player. Nice catch kid.

Sacha Baron Cohen to play Queen frontman Freddie Mercury?

2007-05-10T11:40:00.000-04:00

Sacha Baron Cohen is set to play Freddie Mercury in a movie about the Queen singer's life, it has been reported.

The comic - who reportedly based his character Borat's look on the late music legend - is said to be the front runner to play Freddie seeing off stiff competition from Johnny Depp.

A source told Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper: "Filmmakers are working flat out to get the best possible script. Sacha loves the idea he can get away with playing Freddie after modeling Borat's look on him."

The movie is being developed by Robert De Niro's company Tribeca Productions.

Last month, it was reported that 'Pirates of the Caribbean' star Johnny was in talks to play Freddie.

'Bohemian Rhapsody' singer Freddie - who passed away aged 45 from an AIDS-related illness in 1991 - was widely considered to be one of the greatest performers in British rock history.

Sacha, 35 - who is best known for his comic alter-egos Ali G and Borat - is currently working on Tim Burton's forthcoming movie 'Sweeney Todd'.

The BAFTA winner is engaged to Australian actress Isla Fisher, 31.

And let us just point out, if Freddie Mercury were alive today, he would easily be the most bad ass gay dude on the planet... knocking George Michael down to #2

source

Mom wants to eat placenta. Hospital says no. Mom sues.

2007-05-10T11:29:00.000-04:00

A Las Vegas mother is battling a local hospital over the ownership of a placenta. Anne Swanson gave birth at Sunrise Hospital last month, and wants her placenta so she can ingest it for its nutrients. But Swanson says the hospital has told her the organ was contaminated, and she would have to go to court to get it back.

Yesterday, Swanson and a group of other women protested outside the Maryland Parkway hospital, with signs reading "Free the Placenta." A spokeswoman for Sunrise Hospital would not discuss the case, but says placentas are kept in cold storage for three days and are disposed if there is no request to keep it. Swanson says she'll contact the ACLU and Planned Parenthood to get the placenta back. But because it is contaminated, she has no plans to turn it into pills for consumption. Traditional Chinese medicine suggests that the excess hormones in placentas can treat postpartum depression.

Hell, if she wants to eat the placenta, let her eat the damn placenta. But handle it like they do at some of those buffalo wing joints where they serve "911" wings and make the bitch sign a waiver.

source

WTF Happened to Christina Ricci's face?

2007-05-09T15:42:00.000-04:00

W T F ?!?

We've always believed Christina Ricci to be a complete butter face. She's way hot. But her face... 'eh.

But with this shot taken Monday night out front of The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York for some big fashion gala, she went from ButterFace to G.I.L.F. in record time.

When did she turn 61 years old? YIKES.

Paris Hilton fires her lawyer, gets a new one

2007-05-09T15:36:00.000-04:00

Here's a shot of Paris Hilton after firing her lawyer, Howard Weitzman, in person today. She then hired DUI defense lawyer Richard Hutton.

Too little, too late dummy!

source: ImNotObsessed.com

George Lucas takes a dump on Spiderman 3

2007-05-09T13:55:00.000-04:00

At last night's Time magazine dinner for the 100 most influential people, Star Wars creator George Lucas talked to Fox News about some of the projects he is working on.

But most interesting was when he began talking about this summer's movies.

From FoxNews.com:

Lucas told me he has seen all the summer movies since his company, Industrial Light and Magic, does most of the special effects. The only one they didn't work on was "Spider-Man 3." What did he think of it?

"It's silly. It's a silly movie," he said. "There just isn't much there. Once you take it all apart, there's not much story, is there?"

Well, it's not "Star Wars."

"People thought 'Star Wars' was silly, too," he added, with a wink. "But it wasn't."

Spiday hater!

Whatever Georgie. Just get on your next project - Chewbacca vs. Spidey - Wookie vs. Arachnid

Tell me that shit doesn't scream BLOCKBUSTER!

Gossip Rag covers rule

2007-05-09T13:52:00.000-04:00

No words needed here. Just enjoy.

Britney Spears > My Mom

2007-05-09T11:16:00.000-04:00

Wow. When I was 2 years old, my mom never carried me around town looking this cool. But if she did, I probably would've become a better person because of it.

Those other toddlers must be jealous. I think all self-respecting mothers should stroll their kids around looking like a 2 dollar hooker. The world would be a much better place if we all followed Britney's lead. Bitch has really got it all together.

Rosie O'Donnell to replace Bob Barker on The Price is Right?

2007-05-08T18:30:00.000-04:00

We're praying to all of the Gods, in hopes this is just a stupid rumor and never.... EVER comes true. But it's still interesting.

Now that the Goodyear blimp is leaving 'The View', she might be setting her sights on another TV show.

According to reports, Rosie wants to take over Bob Barkers spot on "The Price Is Right." Word is that "Price" producers aren't too happy about the current host contenders George Hamilton, Mark Steines, Todd Newton and Mario Lopez. Even the retiring host Bob Barker is adamant that Rosie gets the gig according to one source.

A new job isn't the only thing Rosie's after, HollyScoop says that Rosie may jump on the Jenny Craig bandwagon to shed some weight.

Smart businesswoman? Yes.
Should be on TV? No.

source: HollyScoop

Austin Powers returning

2007-05-08T18:22:00.000-04:00

Mike Myers, creator of the Austin Powers film franchise, told SCI-FI Wire that he definitely wants to make another movie and will get to it after he finishes his next project, called The Love Guru. And it might focus on Austin's nemesis, Doctor Evil.

"I have figured out that the story will be taken from the point of Doctor Evil," Myers said in an interview while promoting Shrek the Third. "It will be powered from Doctor Evil's point of view." Myers added: "That will be the first of a trilogy. ... I'm just joking! ... I haven't figured it all out. Who knows?"

But don't get too excited. Myers says it takes him almost 4 years to do a movie. And since he's currently in the middle of a project, we're not going to expect a new Austin Powers before 2010. Though as long as Beyonce Knowles isn't in this one, we're ok with waiting.

source: SciFi.com

Brad Pitt to play He-Man?

2007-05-08T10:48:00.000-04:00

Rumor has it that Brad Pitt is about to become He-Man!

A quote from one of the upcoming film's producers:

“They are very keen on Brad for the role. He will have to bulk up though - he is very fit but not to ‘He-Man’ proportions.” He-Man - the most powerful man in the universe - is a sword-wielding hero with superhuman powers.

'eh, it might work. I'm just hoping the movie doesn't suck. Let's also hope that Marc Anthony is chosen to play the role of Skeletor!

source: ImNotObsessed

WTF Happened to Jessica Simpson's Face?

2007-05-08T10:39:00.000-04:00

Since our last "WTF happened to Jessica Simpson's face?" moment last year, things have been steadily going downhill for the one time hottie.

In this picture taken over the weekend, Jessica Simpson looks more like Carmen Electra... if Carmen Electra had a penis and was injecting herself with steroids.