copperclouds hill

Preception & re-location of Refuge

2011-07-22T09:34:00.000-07:00

The prospects of a move are good in many ways - but have been disturbing on other levels.

Making a physical move to another location means a letting go of the present physical location, responsibilities of that location and interactions. I have been feeling pretty disconnected from certain present locations - there are other factors involving individuals who have grown uninterested in the whole present location and have let it get run down. This heightens the sad and disconnected feel these 'working' areas now give off.

I had thought it was me not understanding or having lost something along the way in the struggles of the last 6 months - the twists and turns of choices that had to be made carefully. No energy to tend the areas - hope I can transport them to the new location - the wearing of the waiting - game situation.

Then this morning in my attempt to greet the sun -- I peered over to an area I had set up as a sort of refuge for beings both seen and unseen. A stack of long tall twigs with seashells attached in a tee pee sort of arrangement. Then an old wooden and wire bird cage. Some driftwood and a statue of a Fae. This area is outside a door that is not used as an entry way that faces the rising golden sun. The most memorable event that happened there was to share the sun rising a few years ago with a Indian yogi there on the steps as a dark snake looked at us - this yogi has a birth connection with snakes through his mother. The location was met to give a home to beings who would otherwise within the local physical community would not have such. That story being told --- I looked at the spot and thought how I could re-establish such a refuge at the new place if it were to come to pass. Then it hit me or I should say seeped into my weariness - like a memory of happier times. I then understood it was not about loosing faith or vision or location, but about making a connection with what is there. It was very reassuring and a plan was set.

So magic and life are full of unseen things. We must be aware of how they work before we attempt to connect with these, as the article points out that I placed a link too above in the word refuge. But if all I had were twigs, seashells and an old bird cage to connect/practice with to the earth and the unseen around me, then I proceeded - not in assumption - but in what knowledge I had and vision of where I wanted to go and how I wanted to live. Actually living.

It was a good start to the day and the re-connect I had been talking with those unseen around me to bring my perception back into a working one. Well that is what I wanted to say yesterday, but did not have the connected train of thought to do so. An answer came this morning while greeting Ra - "I am reborn upon your arising".

Just take the time to think and re-connect - is good advice.

What dreams are not made of & The Glamour

2011-07-20T07:53:00.000-07:00

Well the dust and a bit of disappointment has now settled down - a chance to pick up the pieces is a foot again.

Remember the blog piece about personal changes that were a foot for May 2011. I wanted to wait until now to tell you how it turned out - so far.

Pneumonia came on the scene about the end of January with a 6 day stay in the hospital. This experience put a dent in my endeavors, but did not stop the momentum of the graduate school graduation planning set of May. It still happened though I take the illness as a symptom of not taking/giving my self a bit of slack to rest, while endeavoring. So that is a change. (Possibly the pneumonia event supported by the demiurge/demiurage & a "too" close a look at such in the beginning of January - not something I will involve myself any time soon again - have always gotten stung somehow when attempting to evoke that set of practices.

Next I had originally planned to continue my graduate experience into a certificate program to give me an edge on others in my line of profession, but of course there came the opportunities of employment. I applied three different times with the encouragement of others. No takers on the first application - that one should have been a taker. The second the opportunity interviewed and was a meat hunter of sorts - meaning I could have a year long contract with the hopes of interviewing again for the same position next year (emergency hirer). Yes, I would gain the much needed experience for my profession, but be out of work in this economy next year.... no thanks. The third interview went well - but the claims of the other interviewed individual as to having more experience edged me out of the running - I work in the same field as this other individual - there is no way there was the claimed experiences obtained. HUmmmmm. Next my housing situation is possibly changing to an environment that will enhance both relaxation and my path... a possibility - I may be too early here claiming such a change - we'll know by August.

So what was the meaning of the dream or intuition of change? The message had a urgency back a while ago of life changing events or even a type of death.

I learned - again - that such things are magnified at the receiving end as important. Such intuitive events should be seen as a small tool in gearing up for changes. Intuitive events are built upon the foundation of what is hoped for or being worked on at the time. So again these are tools only and not certainties.

I continue on with goals intact - no earth shaking immediate changes in hand. But I can not say that these multiple unsuccessful in appearance events surrounding May will not provide the basis for contacts with unseen forces - such as others' personal opinions or personal exposure to those out side the circles that I evolve within. The move will be nice if it occurs - but it is not as earth shaking as the dream indicated of a while back.

So use what is felt or interpreted in dreams should be used as tools and not assumed certainties.

I did come up with a wonderful magic application though with the possible purchase of the property.

There is a body of water on the property - a kind of natural pond that fills with the rains over the year. I suspect there is a spring, but was told that was not the case - but I will consider the source of this information. One of the elements I have worked with in the past has been water - but not in as broad a body as this. I applied the glamour within this evolving process. I have been using the glamour within personal appearances and distance manipulation of situations and the persons involved within these - these persons are given what they are seeking on a primitive level - distracted - more likely to grant what I want from these situations. But this time it was different.

The pond became the foundation for the redirection of negative intended energy into my situation. The flow was directed into the water to the soil (rooted there) then reversed up an image of (selected) gem stones into a spout out into the environment again as positive working energy. Though this energy was not specifically directed to be used in events unfolding - the energy was directed to create wealth in the future. I figured energy is energy and the intent of the energy can be directed when it comes my way from what every source. Waste not Want not as they say. The pressure was taken off the situations and positive potentials arise. I can later on describe this process in detail - but that is the roughed out format. Glamour is the work I keep evolving within.

So to recap, extreme earth shaking change nor death occurred. A process using one of the elements is forming into a successful practice. There is more to be describe, but I will place that here later when it becomes clarified.

I appreciate all who are reading this blog. I just thought it warranted a blog today on what has happened around the May date.

Isis, Mary, Symbols & Magic - a journey

2011-01-13T11:22:00.000-08:00

Well it happened again - finding things never change and tend to repeat themselves.

To find visualization material (to go with the medal I purchased) I looked into mystic experiences demarcated by the official stamping of medals and the formation or recognition of saints. Since I don't really need to support my findings - expect to myself - please excuse the wanderings - I will briefly place here some of what I found.

First noted since the catholic church is a male oriented environment, one pope stated that women saints are not usually accurate as to predictions due to the fact that these saints were women. This statement arose from / involved the secret negative predictions associated with the mystic experiences of Melanie Calvat and her relating the words of the Virgin Mary in the form of Our Lady of Lasalette. Apparently the message of future demise of the church through its leadership was not welcome news. Then there was a person named Zoe Laboure, also known as St. Catherine Laboure of the Miraculous Medal (or Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception). Zoe had to convince an adviser priest that what she saw was real and made sense - the message of the Virgin Mary to her at the time. Again since St. Catherine was a woman there were problems getting word out. Then the person/saint that spilled the cart for me was Sophie de Soubiran who though not having a vision of anything had a compassion for the plight of girls and women and decided to take up their cause as a religious. The story moves through the successes, world war and then betrayal by another trusted sister friend and the other religious tossing Sophie and Sophie's work aside. Then of course later after her death she got to be dug up and buried back at the place she founded.

By this time my head hurt, exhaustion had set in and I was into looking at some pretty weird stuff like exhumation of bodies & tests for signs of rotting.

Too much stuff!

So between sorting out where the demiurge ended and men's will began within these wonderful stories of the Virgin Mary and those who were listening to her - I came to the conclusion that it would be too difficult to sort it all out. Then there is the question as to what information would be useful for practices, once the intolerance and nonsense was possibly cleared away. For example in the Melanie Calvat story the Virgin stated that due to men not stopping their work on Sunday they will suffer. I would guess that the milieu or beliefs of Miss Calvat having the vision could interpret the information in this way. Then of course there is sin, sin, and more sin to be dealt with. One person's sin is another person's enlightenment.

So the revisiting of the mythos of the Virgin Mary. I wanted to wear an acceptable symbol full of sigils I could use to focus upon concerning Isis - while in public - a medal that is not specific to a Marian practice would be perfect for the work. Though the Isian and Marian stories are similar and most probably evolved from the Isis stories into the Mary stories. There is too much man-made-drama added and too many frustrated spirits interlocked within the Mary stories to have these stories be useful or flexible when it comes to Magic. The stories and people involve have an essence of an "either or" attribute (intolerance towards non-believers and towards female spirituality) to them - concerning what a person can work with using these symbols and practices. That is my feel from this religious subject revisited again.

Another good try.

The medal is coming and I will sit it with my Isis pieces, then do a few other things to it to cleanse it and provide a stable focus from which to work. Well now to clean up the mental mess I made over the last two days. I am back to myself with no more dreams of nuns in black, roses, dark environments, sick beds, and distant pope hatted men.

It was not so disappointing this time, since I know its not me.

My next focus is to continue to read A. Crowley (another url) and The Egyptian Book of the Dead. These make more sense and are testable situations for me. I dislike enormously being required to believe something and then be warehoused by any organization. This has been a stroll down the memory lane of past experiences with religions.

Now off to do something real. It is a good feeling to know I am on track - at least in my own estimation of my work.

~Post Note~
I forgot to relate the story of St. Gerard Majella. He has an interesting representation on his medals - that of a human skull sitting on a table next to where he is standing. He is known as a healer and the Saint of stressful pregnancy or lack of fertility. I found this statement most interesting about him and his work: "He was also known to have mystical abilities such as powers of prophecy, healing, bilocations, the reading of consciences, and so forth. He even predicted the day and hour of his own death. During his short life he helped many and performed many miracles". Bilocations? And of course the rest of his work, could he have been a Mage or practiced magic? The only other individual I remember who had others claim that he could bilocate was Rabbi Baal Shem Tov. St. Gerard is a possible catholic figure I could work with, I will have to feel out that situation. His story holds possibilities - I just can't put my finger on what it is I sense yet about this possibility. Or maybe it is just another dead end.........

Religion: Check the blank - yes or no

2011-01-11T11:22:00.000-08:00

I had to go to a local hospital to get a chest x-ray to check up on the effective treatment of a lung infection.

In answering the questions for the billing department, before I changed clothes into the delightful blue gowns for the x-ray - a question threw me.

"Your Religion?"

I answered spontaneously - "No". Then I said, "none". Then I said, "not right now".

The receptionist smiled and went on with the questions for the form.

I got to thinking about my answer. I also valued that spontaneous situation and question. Though I am sure I should have been embarrassed by my answer or I should have made something up similar to match the religious affiliation of the hospital institution. But I didn't.....

I had read something late last year from another blog entitled, "On Secret Identities". The author discussed the reasons for keeping to one's self what personal practices one is involved in.

Since my practices do not have the mandate of converting anyone - really that is not the purpose of my personal practices - I pretty much keep my practices and religious opinions to my self. When asked I look at the situation as to whether it benefits me for others to know my practices, i.e., would the person feel differently about me or negative about me? It is all about perceptions. Really no one needs to know - unless of course the moral responsibility comes into play and there is a sincere long term need to discuss practice/spirituality with other individuals. This is a sad, but true situation. Just look in the news at the intolerance and the mud slinging over religion and views - around the world.

As I thought about the question arising from the billing information - I thought why did I answer that way?

Well what came to me later is that religion provides no reason for me to accept its tenets. What I mean is why should I be afraid of the ill will offered or imagined toward non-believers by religion? The threats if one does not believe? No one has come back to tell us of the unspeakable horrors (at least credible individuals) that await the non-believer. There are ample unspeakable horrors mete out involving religious intolerance now in life for the living by the living. There is of course evidence of "cause and effect" in the world and in life, but no consistent answers to the tough questions. Questions like why do good people suffer or why does ill will gain rewards? Why is there hate and difference? Why is there war? Why is there birth and death? No one and no religion can provide clear cut commonsense solutions to any of these situations. And really to say it is a god's will is, well a horror too.

So when I said "No", I met just that, that I was not interested and religion for me fails and failed miserably. I felt for the receptionist's confusion, since she would not have anything either positive or negative to place in that blank hole in the form.

One of the barriers to practicing magic for me is this mistrust or non-belief in what religion is based upon. This is a mistrust of the demiurage or demiurge that inhabits the stories and foundation of the major three local religions - not so much the ancient religions or Asian based religions or spiritual practices. I take these religions at face value and use commonsense to test what practices would work for me.

Due to this possible barrier to a full understanding and involvement in magic by my concerns over the demiurage influence of anything; I reviewed the thoughts expressed in another article: "Example of Opere Ex Operato". I do have practices involving Buddhism and Goddess with Family. So I am looking again at Mary from the aspect of her evolution out of Isis/Ancient Egyptian stories carried by the Greeks/Plutarch into the West. The form I found to focus upon is not associated with a male image or demiurage, but is concerned with Mary being mother to all and this association of all being one as her children. I found a medal“CONGREGATION DES ENFANTS DE MARIE” or Children of Mary Congregation. From what I found the Congregation 'was' a loose joining of numerous catholic religious institutions and lay individuals who are practicing helping others and supported by Mary as Mother of all. Plenty here to use in visualization and the directing of intentions and energy to the work at hand. So a benign attempt that does not unsettle me as I look into practice and the Mary I want to meet and work with on some level. That is If she is able to work on compassion and being human, will remain to be seen. But I 'believe' that there is truth in everything and it is possible to examine evidence. The association of Isis with the name Meri and the similar name Mary are closely related. The stories that are similar between the sorrows of Mary and the events in the life of Isis are more than coincidence. Its all there to work with.

One of the books I have owned for a while and use is Jean Houston's "The Passion of Isis and Osiris" - the front of the book has a chapter on how to use the book and the rest of the book is supportive reading based upon academic publications compiled in a readable form by Houston. Anyway a book to look at if you were interested in bridging a gap in spirituality/religion.

I found a CONGREGATION DES ENFANTS DE MARIE medal a few days ago made in the late 1800s early 1900s - an interesting time period the Victorian Age for magic. So I will work with that medal as my focus and see if this work can lead me to something that clarifies my work or enhances it.

The question at the hospital out-patient process for a chest x-ray opened up a means to follow-up on these thoughts. I guess I am a "No" as to conventional/accepted religion. Magic is not a religion, but a tool and state of being - at least in my estimation. I have not found magic emerging from deity nor religion, but the other way around. I add to this that recently I had a dream where my guide told me that he related to me in a way that was to be helpful and offering guidance - not a threat of a deity type. But it was a dream - and I know I don't listen that well with all the distractions while I am awake. Either way I deeply appreciated his communication.

So soon I will be wearing the medal and concentrating off and on upon this new focus as I head off into another goal filled year.

Glamour Affect - magic & perception

2010-12-15T07:45:00.000-08:00

The purpose of this blog is to give actual examples and not to persuade any. I felt I had to say that, since the exchange of ideas is valuable to me.

Of recent I have had a very demanding schedule, more demanding than what I would like and more people involved than I care to have involved. It was a time when the purposeful use of a glamour was most appropriate.

I have been working with what I will label a guide here though within my interactions with this entity I use the identifier he gave me. I have found that in my case the use of important symbols and connections with entities is the means to empower the use of the glamour. I use what is familiar to me - things that I feel I can trust and that I have tested. To begin with I started with what I needed and the goals at stake, then I proceeded into what the goals/representation of these other symbols were in relation to my goals. This was the power base and the directions I used to empower the glamour with. I also directed the glamour to 'affect' the intended audience in a certain way that would seem or feel to them of great benefit. I will not go into details here, since I am assuming that each process of preparation will be different for each individual and their needs. But empowering and directing the glamour is very important. It is like the gas in a car and a map of the destination in hand - providing for a most enjoyable and successful trip. A mask worn with a purpose.

This quiet ritual empowered and directed this glamour to affect several meetings over a week's time. The results were more than successful. The affects matched the needs and personalities of each individual involved. I also needed to affect a small group of individuals who were obviously of differing motivations who were attending a meeting I was presenting. The affect upon the two main principles was different, but the results the same for me.

The two things I found important in the process of the application of a glamour are these: 1. a glamour will not replace good preparation by the individual, if what you are presenting or doing is not the best you can do then the quality of results will not be there (obviously); and 2. do not add to what the glamour is doing, just be yourself focused upon the work/event at hand - if you do attempt to 'add', then you will be hampering the work of the glamour upon the situation - the glamour does not need your help.

So to recap the work with a glamour you must through your familiar power sources empower the glamour. Next you must direct the glamour as to what results you want or are needing to be successful upon within the situation or event. And most important you must direct the glamour as to how the glamour will provide the sense of benefit to those you wish it to affect - these means or sense can be on a primitive level for the affected individual or if you absolutely know of a perceived benefit for the person then invoke that perception. The benefit the glamour provides is really only a perception the person thinks they receive from 'accepting' the appearance the glamour is putting forth. Read that sentence again. The glamour is providing an appearance that you as an individual are what is most successful or appropriate during the event or situation - this is not the benefit though to the viewer. The benefit is that the viewer wants to accept this successful perception of the glamour and receive the perceived benefit whether it is the stroking of their ego or some other more primitive base benefit. The glamour is perceived on many levels of perception by the intended audience it is focused upon.

Again I am but a novice and had not intended to work with the process of glamour. The guide has provided the opportunity for this experience and it appears it is something I am good at doing. I have found it very helpful in my work. It will not only be helpful on a personal level, but on a professional level. What comes to mind is it is slightly like shape-shifting, but is not. I felt it important to log my observations and experiences here for those who are following this blog. There is very little data I can find on this process on the net, I am sure there are those out there who have more knowledge on the subject.

Experiences - life & the sunrise

2010-10-14T15:05:00.001-07:00

I just thought of something else that occurred over the past few weeks that needed mentioned here.

I would stand at work and see the sunrise over the city. I was experiencing what I could see - but what could I feel of it? I then remembered what a cool morning felt like - it could feel too cool if I did not have the right coat on.

There must be a purpose to us feeling and being within the experiences around each of us. The pain, joy, sensual, warm, cold, pleasant, fear, joy, worry - all of these not really a part of the sunrise or sunset we see each day. These are all experiences on different levels. I took a picture one time while fishing on the Snake River of the incredible reflection off the river of the shore. I could only experience this or be aware of this through my sight impression. I could not experience or be a part of the quiet water or the bright blue sky. Do we truly 'experience' anything. Are there beings who experience none of the feelings and are more skilled at experiencing the presence of what is?

Are we each here to experience these experiences for "those" who can not? But still it is not a total sensing of or immersion with all - we are each singly experiencing life. What is the total experience of a sunrise? What does a perfect day feel like? Does any person or entity know? Can it be known?

To answer the old question of why we are here - maybe locked within the experience of a sunrise. I only hope it is a good reason and not one where I find out I was a pawn in a scheme to see what life really feels like to those inhabiting an organic body. If that is the way it is - I will keep my experiences to my self and for ever ignore those who set up this scheme called life. They will never know from me. Anyway an odd thought as I worked, witnessed life and saw some beautiful sunrises.

Glamour - keeping up appearances

2010-10-14T14:04:00.000-07:00

Glamour

This has been a very busy three weeks. One would have thought that magic practice would have been lost along the road covered with emotional weather, event obstacles and determined goal arrivals. The past few weeks feel as if I had drove a million miles, but this was due to having to be in so many places to meet deadlines for this semester's study. I have time right now to discuss what happened as in working magic and its outcomes.

I placed here at the beginning a definition for what Glamour means or is met to mean (actually the cache since this avoids the pop-up windows there). When we think of glamour we usually think of fashion or a glamorous appearance. A glamour is like that, it is a change in appearance that markedly changes the perception of others toward the individual who has applied a glamour over their body/image. So it would not be surprising to be able to use a glamour in this manner when it comes to setting a positive appearance for others to see. The glamour is more than combing one's hair right or wearing the right color. A glamour strokes the egos of others so that they will find benefit from an individual's presence within a place or situation.

I had the night before these long hard weeks of meetings and presentations had begun worked with my guide as in wanting to put my best foot forward thus smoothing the way for me and my goals within these future arising situations. I wanted to persuade others I was what they truly needed in that situation. I wanted the appearance of competence within each situation I was in. I wanted a shield from those who were only self-serving.

But I had only in passing thought about the use of a glamour within this discussion with my guide.

As I started to go to these meetings I began to notice that others were making remarks about how I was right for the work or had what they wanted within that situation. I even ran into a person who was very self-serving to an extreme, but her boss was apologetic when I needed to point this out and was supportive of my endeavors. It was very odd. I realized early that I was having a glamour that would manifest to others and was gaining opportunities and positive responses within many diverse situations. This was even pointed out to me by others who had told me certain situations had been impossible for them, but appeared easy for me to work within.

I had a sense that the glamour was present once its workings gained my attention. I would then at that point acknowledge it and promote this image/presence within those situations. At one point it was less automatic within a few situations and so when I invoked that image/presence, others around me responded again in a positive way.

I am sure that my guide had presented with this solution as I had previously describe the situations that were up coming for me in the weeks ahead. This magic work was on a very different level for me. It was almost natural, though not very complicated - it seems familiar and anticipated.

The word glamour and its definition perfectly describes the change of appearance of an individual to elude ill or to attract good. I feel that the use of a glamour is part of giving to others what they want and feel they need - in the pursuit of personal goals. People don't really know what they want, and they say they know what they like when they see it. I am of the working belief that an individual can give the appearance or feel of what others want and at the same time gain what they need themselves from the situation. That is the work with a glamour.

I can not find much written about this work, but it was very apparent that my guide was working with me on this practice, while I was distracted with the events of work over the last three weeks. I plan to continue this work with the use of the glamour as I work toward my goals and studies. It has been very insightful. I feel I can now affect a situation with my knowledge as well as with what I can do to elude ill or to attract good results. I had to take the time today to place these experiences here.

Gibberish - the stuff dreams are made of

2010-09-02T06:49:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting night. It could be chalked up to recently preparing for projects for my last year in the masters program, or it was especially busy in the 'spirit' neighborhood. I get number of passing entities by the location I live. I assume there is some sort of vortex located near by in a building or the field that is surrounding it - both urban - that is a place where these entities wander too once they are done being confused by their state of disconnect from the physical world. I even met someone I knew who wandered by after his death. He was confused and was there trying to get to where he thought he was to go - he was unsure, but indicated he was compelled to go there. Really another story.

The dream - messages I both heard and saw written out in the familiar reflective and opaque writing packed opposite messages. One way to take them is that something big is coming within my situation in May of 2011 that will take much pressure off me and my hope to move into a more meaningful life style. [I have been a member of the living dead for about 7 years it would seem by way of the weight of responsibilities and mundane 'no life' habitation environment.] The other way the message could be construed is that what I have now to live on will be taken away by my disability or death - I guess in a twisted way, this is another way to look at 'relief' and a change toward a meaningful life style. Hummmmmm.

The reason or point of writing this down here is to place a focus upon what is being 'assumed' from dreams. Really it is not much different than the assumptions that can be made about the 'life time' warranties of carpets or 'insurance' that is purchased on flights (rewarding only certain dismembermentation combos.) or what is assumed about products through advertisements. Dreams and for that matter 'signs' are what they are as is - they may or may not be helpful or predictive of positive situations or events. Assumptions are not 'magick'. Assumptions are not divine knowledge laid on an individual - it is just wishful thinking. What should be used I suppose instead of assumptions, should be 'possibilities'. Possibilities are also less cruel than assumptions when attached to the divine or communication with the beyond.

Since I live in a fly-way for spirit migration - and this not being just an assumption, since too many entities pass by - the dreams could have been influenced by these drive-by-spirit situations and impressions.

What I get from this is that the moment and what can be done now is what matters. Other impressions are just that impressions. Like horoscopes of recent, some you have no idea who or what situation they are addressing. Then others you can look back at and say yep that happened. What good is that? Like the recent pundits about the economy and some saying place your faith in a deity in order to avert a crisis? Please, I would rather use tools/practices I have cultivated to avert a crisis.

Assumptions can kill you and the root of your soul. Possibilities are tools and warnings to cultivate awareness and knowledge. Also possibilities are a whole lot less traumatic on one's psyche and soul.

What will I do with the information I saw and heard in a few dreams last night? I will work with the information, I will not hope with the situation, I will not assume with the situation and I will research out the information to see if it is a viable tool. It was interesting. Or maybe I will ignore the information and work to avoid the slide toward what could be either predictive of good or demise. And yes a recent horoscope that I read during an event of this week happened in a loss of a friend, I am better off without that influence anyway. For some time I had wondered why this individual was around - since we had nothing in common but work - maybe this individual was feeding off my energy? So I am focused on tools/practices and finding ways to research out what is useful and what is now - that is magic to me.

Focus on the moment - it has a positive accumulative outcome effect - that is my possibility.

M.

Choice & Chooses - Directs

2010-08-25T10:52:00.000-07:00

I read another article that is a confirmation to me, I must have needed to swing my sail a little bit to head in the more specific direction using all the helps I have. I had to remember who is here to help me.

For those who are 'newer' than me at this path, the deities and beings who are necessary for a path will come and make you aware of your need. Like some say they will choose you, but like I think - you have to be aware of them to be able to accept their choice of you.

I had always been interested in ancient Egypt. I had also been attracted to the outdoors - walking and listening - interacting with sky, sun, moon and stars. I was becoming aware and made aware regardless the religious influences and surroundings I grew up in.

So I am thinking that this spiritual relationship is a bit different than a call that society or culture makes to an individual's attention in the form of any number of convictions or conversions.

I also saw articles too that I would love to use, but would need the basics or foundational work completed - the knowledge to practice them. Check out this one on elements and this one on forecasting.

I gotta get me a class with real people in it and the time to do it... maybe after next spring! I'll have a bit of time then. But for now I am feeling my way along within the practices and with/due to the helps I have around me.

I have a small brass statue of Kannon Bodhisattva next to my back door. She usually faces the door and to her right a piece of pottery holding water & rain reflects moon and sun her way as an offering. I look at her each time I open the door first thing. I found her slowly turning - over the past 3 weeks - and she is now facing south from her eastern direction. This I can not ignore. Whether bumped by animals and the like, she is heavy and sits very firmly on her green slate stone I got for her years ago to perch upon. I take it as another helpful sign for me as one who needs obvious directions. The doctoral program I looked into to the south of me would be the best choice if I can do a good point count on the GRE. I also love the lakes in that area. Maybe this is not only direction toward there, but encouragement if the path gets crowded with obstacles.

Its been an interesting rest between semesters and a very blessed full Moon for me.

M.

The whole Moon - mystery that must be held

2010-08-25T07:15:00.000-07:00

Things happen. Not big things just bits of the foundation.

In my mind is a place that is being constructed very slowly, almost too slowly. I have pieces I have put over away from the building, but not off the work site. That is what I ended up with when I was awaken to see the Moon perfectly through my bedroom window. When it appears here, now for the rest of the year, it means cooler weather is coming and I will be brought back to spiritual focus each time the Moon is full (barring it is not cloudy on the three nights of the Moon's appearance).

Before I go much further here I must include a nice article that I found this morning that will go along with what I found early this morning about 0530. The article is about being unable to 'focus', something we are all having trouble with from time to time.

That article is probably more interesting than what my findings under the influence of the setting Moon.

I was going over my goals. Yep I have goals. Like getting through the last year of my masters and then finding a place to live near the doctorate program I hope to get into. I want to have a change in quality of life that will allow me to be equally outside and indoors. AS of yet I am trapped in front of a computer screen for school and I am trapped for long periods of time at work three days a week - rush & doing.

So I went over my goals. I began to talk to my guide and he was helpful, but there was something missing. The Moon was there and the scattered white silver clouds surrounding it had a rainbow effect to them - but something was missing. The question arose as to what that was? That was what was odd, because the question and answer were not purely of my own making - that was my sense.

The question was that if the spiritual sort of relationships between the observer and the observed were invoked - then more work could be actuated. I then turned to look at who or what I had not been including lately in my practices and the who or what I had been heavily relying upon.

The Moon brought to me a sense of needing ancient relationships that I had neglected as possibly misunderstood - that were actually a part of what I am. Like communication with symbols that included the work of Isis, Horus and Osiris. Then I had not been including my present teacher of meditation in my discourse or needs, since I see him as living now and possibly not concerned with my mundane goals. That both the Three and he were not concerned with my goals or me, unless it had been directed in a specific spiritual way or practice. Then what was shocking to me was my guide then interjected into this self-talk, that he could not do it alone. OH! I had placed too much upon him or more specifically that the goals were met to be shared with these others to gain the full affect that he could not provide. I told him I was sorry for speaking to him too much in the work concerning the goals. He indicated that the whole group was needed to get where we needed to go. That I was on track, but needed to include all of these that had been given to me, specifically the Three.

If that was not direct discussion I don't know what is and I did not feel guilty or sad about it either. Which I would have if it had been a dear friend who was talking to me in the physical world.

So the mystery was placed back in the Moon this morning. I had been invited to the circle of power I had left or had been distracted from. My guide has the help he needs and I do too - to stay on track. Life now has given back the mystery to me to harness the negativities that arise. I was incredibly impressed. I had thought I was just talkin to my self! So now I have work I need to do. I am still reading Mr. Crowley's work and the url given awhile back by a visitor.

Things are coming together. The best of it is I am not an outsider looking into the spiritual world and work - that has been so often the case - I am part of it with some powerful allies.

M.

Book 4 Aleister Crowley - a novice look

2010-08-12T08:34:00.000-07:00

The backcover states, "This book is the introduction and foundation upon which all further magical work will be based. Its simplicity, clarity and depth is without equal in occult literature".

Ok with that said I have found the book interesting and informative. I also find some of the book exasperating, since I can not afford the prescribed space for or expense of setting up a gold top alter with fine engraving upon it. "Yet these are rather special than general symbols, and this book purports to treat only of the grand principles of working" (Crowley, 2000, p. 63). That made me feel a little better concerning my issues.

What is the point of me reading this book? To gain knowledge to apply to what I see, hear and experience around me (apply to what I am doing already). To also prepare for any future classes I may take, so that I am on the same page having heard a definition or seen a ritual image.

I bought this paper back to see if purchasing the other portions of it would be useful, I probably will purchase more sections. I have heard both ill and wonder about Mr. Crowley. I am also fascinated with people who lived during the Victorian/Industrial age of social change.

I was also reassured the other day by a word I found in an article of recent that using something in practice does not cause the practice to take on other unwanted attributes of the knowledge investigated. That is something I will test, but due to the source feel confident in that advice.

I will probably read again the whole 125 pages in the book before my next purchase of more of his writings.

I wanted to jot this down before moving on with the day.

Crowley, A. (2000). Book 4. York Beach, ME: Samuel Weiser, Inc.

M.

Illness became a Guided experience

2010-08-08T14:21:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here sipping my cup of earl grey tea.

Just four days ago I could not sip anything. I had at the time an unexpected bout of a gastrointestinal illness. I had gone out to eat lunch as a kind of celebration after having completed a push over the past few weeks to finish up my university work for another semester. It was a delightful lunch in a new place that had just opened up the road near a grocery store I go to often. The day was very hot and humid. For that matter it had been very hot and humid in the house too, while I did my studies. I thought I had been drinking enough water to not become dehydrated. The air conditioning had died about 2 years ago and I had been having luck with a few window air conditioners and some strategically placed metal fans. Of course I had also been going to work at a place that sort of has air conditioning too.

I came home from the lunch and after a nap I found I was very sick. I had a slight headache and managed to nurse it for about 2 hours, then it hit me -- the vomiting without the time to have the common accompaniment of nausea. The headache felt as if it outlined every landmark of my brain. This went on for four hours. I finally had to call into work for the next day - I wasn't going anywhere - I could not leave my room.

Now during this whole time I was totally coherent. I was an observer, much like how I am at the beginning of meditation. I was not blaming anyone for this illness. I was not afraid. I was not out of control. But I was surrounded with this shell of a body that was in pain. I felt sorry for my poor body and its present pain. I even found my self examining why I would be having so much pain, since I had not done anything to harm another. That line of questioning was short lived --- it did not help my present situation.

So I continued with my trips back and forth to the bathroom. My cat watched me and sat near me on the bed.

It was then that I decided to discuss the matter with my guide or spirit companion or what ever title an entity would wear when working with a human form in this world - associated with magic.

I used the name or portion of a name he had given me in the past. I said I do not really know the functions or abilities you could use to help me at this moment, but I feel I should now not ignore any assistance you could provide me at this time.

I am never really sure what to ask of him or what to make of this working relationship. It is merely my ignorance and being careful not to impose on him nor cause myself future problems owing something to someone I can not see.

I said I am very sick and needed pain relief. But I said I don't know if you can do any such thing to help me.

Then I thought, I should be specific and not wishy-washy as to my need or a request. I said my head hurts right here unbearably, could you somehow relieve this pain. I then fell into a sleep that had been escaping me and then awoke a time later and found that pain gone and other pains still present. Like the one in the back of my head and the one in my neck/spine. I then asked for all the pain to be taken away by his means - but being reasonable that I was not asking about/for a death experience. I had heard once that one must be careful what they ask for.

I fell asleep again. I awoke with the pain gone in my head and neck. The nausea was faint and my numerous trips to the bathroom finally apparently over with for now.

I felt an odd sensation of a shaking or vibration deep in my legs and body, but not in my head. It could be the results of electrolyte imbalances from the vomiting or more likely it was the grasp/result of my guide upon the situation. I had felt something similar when doing a particular meditation, when I am in the state between meditation and awaking. But I was totally awake at this point - very alert and felt it.

I was tired. I tapped on the bottle of water by me that I had been attempting to sip and keep ibuprofen down with. It was getting dark in the room. I wondered about the sky. I could see out the window and I was thinking about the recent sun spot activities talked about in the news. I would turn carefully in bed as to not start my head from hurting again. It was then I sensed him there - his presence, he was standing near the bed and then sitting on the end of the bed. I could not see him actually, I think I saw a shadow between me and the corner of the window blocking my line of sight, but I can not be sure. I felt him in the room like I would sense anyone person - like a mix of anticipation and knowing someone was there. I did not will my self to want to sense this and I was awake, just too exhausted to explore the possibilities. I fell asleep and awoke when daylight entered the room once again in the early morning. His presence was gone.

So much for celebrating at that new restaurant the end of the summer semester. Am I ever going back to the smiling faces of the waiter and waitresses there - not on your life!

This strange illness presented an experience that helped me understand a little about my guide, and my self. The experience also helped me understand that my practices, though eclectic are always working even when I am distracted. Death would have come noticed by me if comparable to that pain and I would have continued in the self conversation into the next reality talking to myself and my guide. He was there actually offering his assistance, but not giving help until I asked. I also think as I sit here he was also making suggestions as to what I could ask for to help the situation better. That is a first. Due to the situation there was not much I could do and I needed to ask for the possibility of help from him. He was gracious and focused upon tending to my situation.

I think I learned from that torturous ill afternoon and evening. I feel he learned something about me, that is my sense at least right now. I was not afraid - like I had been in other serious illness encounters. But that may have been just me figuring the illness was caused by food and not some plague. The last thing I want to do too is treat my guide like a deity or gift box. He is present here with me for some reason that I am still ignorant of. I feel I trust his motivations more due to these recent interactions with me. That he is not experimenting on me or awaiting an ignorant move on my part.

So from this experience I will move ahead and indicate to him that I want him to interact with suggestions and indications of insight and helps if that is his wish. For now I am too busy being human it would seem as my ignorance of his work and purpose remain. But I am very grateful for his help and healing in my situation. I want to learn about what he knows from his abilities to his observations.

No I am not still having a fever, just still faintly nauseated and my head is a bit fuzzy inside at differing points. I did go to work yesterday and made it through. I was called off today due to low census. So I am enjoying my cup of tea and anticipating a bit of dinner and television before I go to bed.

I will continue to examine what presented and attempt to be more aware.

M.

"The Imprisoned Splendour" by Raynor C. Johnson - book reading

2010-08-03T06:26:00.000-07:00

This book I found recommended on a magic oriented book list. I thought from the title that it would be deity centered, but it is not. There are several titles like this book that are deity centered - out there on the Internet.

The cover states: "An approach to reality, based upon the significance of data drawn from the fields of natural science, psychical research and mystical experience".

I was able to get a hard back used copy. Nice for a good read each day.

Now why am I reading it? Well Mr. Johnson was born in 1901. I wanted to examine the mixing of science with spirituality that arose from those pioneering days of science, when the disciplines were younger and not so official - what could be gained from them. I also wanted a book from the stand point of magus and gnostic works, while referencing then current physical sciences. The thought being that the process of the search for truth is the use of available tools.

"That fact is that objective formulations of spiritual truth can never be a substitute for experiencing the truth in one's self. These formulations, which are contained in all the scriptures of the world and commentaries on them, are guides and signposts to the discerning mind. But no belief in historic persons or historic events has in itself power to satisfy the once-awakened hungering soul. The answers which alone will satisfy him cannot be another person's answers; they must be his own" p. 28-29.

Dr. Johnson was influenced by the study of parapsychology and Buddhism as a scientist. The book publication date is 1953. The book has numerous footnotes to other publications of interest. The tone is of investigation and consideration. There is reasoning as each article, quote or publication is considered. Then of course readers involved in magic would be aware of the work being done and characters living a bit before and after the time of publication, which could have influenced the author and his work. I just find it all fascinating and a bit reassuring that I myself have or have had the same questions he discusses. So far the book is very foundational as to with what and where spirituality should be placed within the life of being human.

Mr. Raynor C. Johnson has apparently wrote and co-authored other similar books concerning parapsychology and or spirituality. I plan to give this one a read and then get a few more for the book shelf to digest. I would warn the reader though to be mindful of the 'titles' of his books - since other deity oriented books do have similar use of titles and would be disappointing if one those were picked up by mistake. (Unless you are into that sort of thing.)

I am enjoying my read of this book and would recommend it to anyone else who just wanted to think over all their 'childhood' religious and spiritual events - then find these events/experiences of some use in the bigger picture of magick and spiritual practices.

Johnson, R. C. (1953). The imprisoned splendour. New York, NY: Harper Brothers.

An Update: August 11th --- Some of the chapters give much to think about, the first ones were what I would call growing material... now the next are science based and a bit dated, but interesting. The book is foundational, but not what would be called flashy. It is an investment in time, when one has the time and is not in an emergency mode to learn.

M.

Recent deletion of post comments - Hidden URLs

2010-07-27T15:44:00.000-07:00

Well it was nice while it lasted.

I have had a few Chinese language posters leave comments. I thought well maybe they need a translation device to help them too - so to accommodate those readers I placed a translation box to Bable Fish.

Silly me, I only focused on the font I could not see and did not tap the blue excessive periods at the end of the 'messages'. I thought the messages vague, but I also thought that maybe there was something lost in translation. I found one comment also on several websites when I looked it up on the net to see if it were a quote from somewhere. I finally thought today to look at a hunch of mine, what the excessive punctuation was about and it lead me to what looks like Chinese and Japanese escort or sexual content websites. So this Blog was not being used for reading, but for adverting.

I will not accept in the comment section of this Blog any foreign language that has URLS to any where. I am of the mind not to accept any foreign language comments to this Blog for sometime. REALLY, if you can't write a comment in English - how are you reading this English based Blog?

I have had two comments from readers who stop by periodically. I really don't think anyone is reading this babble of mine on a regular basis. I put it here because it is what I am doing and maybe someone may find it helpful or interesting. I am a very small minnow in a large world of Magic.

So all English comments with no unusual linking methods will be posted here. If there is need to link in a comment, then the link will be checked and approved before posting as to its relevance to the Blog.

All comments are appreciated and shows that someone out there is finding something here they can use. I do appreciate and find it an honor to share experiences and findings with others.

co-enjoy

2010-07-19T11:39:00.000-07:00

A dream of a few days ago held the printed word co-enjoy and co-joy. Actually I can not remember the actual image right now, but it was there in letters floating like dialogue.

I awoke with the impression that I could be bold enough to expect/anticipate the impossible. The impossible in that I could reshape the attitudes of the community at large and the attributes of beings living within this community.

I could set-up space to focus energies arising out of work. The space would then send out these energies and re-focused energies that swirl into a directed purposeful intent of creating or influencing a community into a more positive and creative state. Those factions that did not or could not accommodate this new state would find quiet satisfaction within themselves and no longer have the focus to cause the community ill any longer for what ever motive. All motives would be guided to a positive and constructive means.

What I mean is that violence, decay, ill-will, intolerance, bias and all that beings play with as justified drama would be re-focused as energies to a positive motivation and arising outcomes. If these beings could not tolerate such change then they would be given a sense of satisfaction in a quiet state - not allowed to harm anyone nor want to harm anyone any longer.

Now on the face of it this looks like wish-full thinking. But then I got to thinking why not. Re-focusing energy that is being wasted - re-focused toward good and clearing the surrounding world of ill thoughts and motivations is not such a bad idea. Why not try it, why not shape a personal space in this manner?

So I am going to start out small with a mala related practice, motivations, wishes, re-focus, speaking and expecting (invoking & evoking) such. Wishing all those energies and beings who come to waste energy to feel satisfied and strangely not interested any longer to do ill - unable to to ill. That they keep their ill intents to themselves in a blissful state.

As time goes by I will establish a space to work here where I live to direct this work from as a point of refocus. Instead of moving away to another place to live - to cause/enable this place to be what I view as creative, tolerate and strangely blissful. A new magical experience and motivation. It will be strange - it will be a building process.

Co-joy
Co-enjoy

standing in a crowd

2010-07-08T09:03:00.000-07:00

I was doing my mental gymnastics as I prepare for sleep. I am amazed by sleep. How we each learn how to fall a sleep, unless of course we were all in a perpetual state of tiredness.

Anyway I like to do mantra work at that time. A directing of personal intentions, motivation and energies toward on-going goals. I try not to hope, but do. I imagine the beings that would be benefited the mantra, something I learned when studying Buddhism. (That is a long story its self of sect frictions and controls - one that will probably not be told by me). I then called upon all those who I know are supportive of my work to assist in my endeavors.... that got me thinking.

The first thought was who is it we call to for assistance? Well I would assume those individuals or beings who are accepting of us in someway. Acceptance, not in a paternal or maternal sort of way, but acceptance as in either a mentor or as in beings who know what their work is toward other beings. These beings accept other beings. There maybe conditions, but these conditions are really mutual goals held by all parties. Acceptance.

Then I started the naming of each name - it was like an invoking of their energies, experiences and goals to be joined with me and mine. The list tonight of names held 6 beings - half I had not met in physical form. Then I thought that I was being very limiting in my circle of acceptance. (In Buddhism a host of all beings who are of the same mind are imagined, the room can be rather crowded within that sort of meditation!)

The challenge now is how to add others who may possibly want to help with my endeavors. Others I may have been ignoring or ignorant of. I guess this came from a recent article I read. It was discussing the Genie method of spirit invocation. I agree with the article that this is something to be avoided. I have really never had the opportunity to work as in a grouping with other beings before. So how to use this information?

The question for me as of now is who is out there to help? What being grouping would work with me without harm? One parameter I would place on this work is that I would not owe this group or being. I would not mind providing a bowl of water or a light or a place I kept neat for them to live if that was what they needed. But I have had first hand experiences with beings who took too much or all one had. That is why so far I play this path alone. So my next step is to see what others have experienced in this area.

I just don't want to be ignoring a group or individual beings on a spiritual level who are ready and able to work - who are matched to what it is I endeavor to do. But I will not enslave my self to any. Again it is just ignorance on my part. It is part of learning.

M

Finding truth in dreams

2010-07-07T09:09:00.000-07:00

I had a discussion with a person at work who is a dragon. That is hard to explain, but I have met at the least 2 dragons who knew they were dragons in my life so far. There is something about me that recognizes them... I have my suspicions, but these are better kept to one's self if one does not what others to think them mad.

He was relating a dream story to me about some figure who told him he and his family was to be prepared for some sort of magick work that would make a difference in the world. The figure was represented in the dream as a character in a popular movie who is seen as an authority figure. The theme was magic related. My friend told this figure that he would not want to do the suggested work, since he was comfortable in his magick work at this point within his family. We discussed it as just a theme dream and not a message of some kind to act upon. The workings of the dream included time travel to his childhood and a period of 7 years for this work. Again just a dream.

I had a dream after a long period at work - I was tired. I was contemplating doing my mantra work and fell to sleep. The dream was a conversation in a blue-ish lite room with a feel of the 1950s to it as to a square wooden table; a few wooden chairs; and a bookcase in the back ground, lots of square lines in the room - like a business office from that era. I was having a conversation with someone, a male who was seated and I was standing on the other side of the table to my left a chair. I was seeing the dream from the perceptive of the person speaking. I knew it was me he was looking at. I was in this blue hue lighting dressed in some sort of sweater/pants thing - kind of heavy clothing. I was more of an out-lined figure. The dream I came into was at the end of the conversation, I think.

The figure said experiences are not chosen but given. Then he said something about I was doing fine, but I do not realize the truth about my abilities or who I am. I got the first part and placed it in my memory - the second part I could not remember word-for-word, so I can only place an impression here.

I awoke early with these two thoughts running around in my head and who it was that said them to me.

I that morning I discussed the dream with the one who has been identified as male (by a priestess who then avoided work with me; apparently due to the male 'entity' she had identified as having been around me a long time!) and this male is what some would call an angel or guide. I don't sense him as an angel or a spirit. He is a presence that I can learn from and confide in. I am careful what I ask of him, since I do not know what I would owe him in return. I would like to explain who he is from any number of popular labels used these days, but he does not fit any of these. I guess I like it that way, because a label would limit him in my mind and could limit what work is happening presently.

I thought it was him. I have been asking him if it was. The answer was a no and then a yes - in a sense. The sense also said I should challenge anything told to me in dreams.

That makes sense. I at first tried to figure out what it all met. But the more I look at it the message is against what I have figured out works for me. Mainly the idea that 'something' out there is calling the shots on my choices or what experiences I am avoiding or seeking. Really no one is going to place me in a situation without my consent regardless of who they are. For example if I don't choose to do something and do not go to that place or event to do that something - I will not be gaining that associated experience. AS for bad experiences, well I avoid them or send their energy on their way to do good or bring back to me prosperity - a better use for an energy than to be causing me harm for jollies.

Then if the first message from this dream figure was in error then the second one could not be trusted either. Or it was to mask the other with a thin icing of sugar to coat the first message for better acceptance on my part. The use of my guide sitting at the table was an attempt to enhance the delivery.

So it was him, but it was not him.

Dreams do bring to light issues, deep thoughts and insight into what is floating around an individual. This was floating stuff. I am sure that it was the usual stuff I send on its way to do a better job of using energy than to harass me. Just a new tactic of bothering. So I sent this energy and its fine theatrics on its way too, to do something better with its time.

The dragon helped me look at my dreams from the perspective that these are not made out of the divine (at least not the majority) - but can come from anywhere with miss information. The other idea is that when a message is delivered it should jive with what has been learned from the past. I know my guide knows me well enough not to try to convince me of divine play in my life, since I left that scene years ago. Not my scene anymore.

Last night I had an odd snippet of a picture in my mind before sleep. A male hair line came into view like I was standing next to someone talking to them outside. It was nice full head of hair short, almost James Dean like (I am not a James Dean fan, he is ok). I sensed my guide told me that is my hair you are seeing. So I will know I guess who is speaking to me and who is not - it was a funny impression. Of course an impression that will need testing in the future. But I sense it was him. He does have nice medium brown hair.

I thought since I had spent so much time thinking about this and learned something from it I would share it here. Nothing earth shaking, but it was something. Even if a dream - test it - the message it brings should be a progression of information that makes sense. If it is useful it should build on what work is going on presently. Again it should make sense - even if it is out-there or reconstructive.

M

Feathers - invoke & evoke - my style

2010-06-25T07:44:00.001-07:00

I could blame it upon Mercury appearing to float back and forth, but I am not of the mind to know what that exactly means to see that blame be a remedy upon the hard work with situations I have had to deal with of late. Maybe too it is the work with energies that are coming back with hands partially full or empty saying now what?

With my work/relationship with particulars such as Isis and Horus; an Entity that is somehow attached to my existence is the only way to describe this origin; a teacher; and the closest I will be to an embodiment of the divine in a one who knows me.... I had signs of their presence from each as each event opened and displayed its play with me and my situation.

I just read an article from a blog "My Gal" who spoke briefly to an event - the appearance of a feather. Then went on to discuss learning.

First I must place here that even amidst learning there is encouragement and reminders of what is available to work with in hard situations that get thrown in the mix. The situations where we can benefit, but it depends upon the non-open-hand of another - whether these people are represented as an individual or as organizations of individuals.

I was moving quickly along the sidewalk having just delivered the second set of forms this individual who was playing paper work games needed. Not that he did not already have ALL the information he needed, but that this information was not on the current forms he thought he needed. The old forms which looked the same would not do. So the game was on. I looked down in the gutter and found a brownish white feather. My mind instantly snapped to Isis and Horus - as in specifically Isis - so often leave a calling card within an event. My frustration was curbed knowing that 'other eyes' were watching and calculating with me what I needed and who was holding up the process. I was not totally relieved by the feather, but it was what I needed to continue to see this thing through. (The gutters in the street in this pull around are usually polished clean by this corporation, which polishes everything with in eye shot of the higher ups - no debris nor a feather would have survived long there - there is plenty of money for that sort of attention as one can only imagine).

Then again at work when I found the moneys had not arrived yet with no word on why - I looked down to see a small feather (like goose down - perfect in form) on my tunic. Where did that come from? Again a reinforcing of my position in the scheme of things.

Help is everywhere - with only the need to make a connection that works.

Later - the words of a mantra and direct words as to what I wanted to see happen that could be used to benefit the individual's pleasure focused upon the individual to be manipulated was invoked. I don't feel comfortable in invoking/evoking an individual to do what I want and to use what ever pleases them to get them into the mindset to do what it is I want. (Yes I realize invoking usually involves calling upon or pleading with a deity, but in this case I was using a differing definition as in to 'appeal' to their unconscious sense/pleasure of benefiting me.) I have only done that once upon a weather situation - not an entity - before. But apparently it worked.

The individual who had drug his feet and then went on vacation leaving me to hang for another week - had left his paper work for an assistant. This assistant called and stated well that she would 'wait' until he got back to let him decide if I received the funding or not. I had set a dead line for funds to appear and she said it would have to wait. That is when I evoked her into actions and invoked a sense of pleasure for her to do this action on my behalf. Something very new for me to do in my practice/life in magic.

It worked, and I hope for the full amount I had requested (available today after 4pm of course!). There was no good reason to not allow me to obtain this amount - save for unfeeling greed on the part of the organization (maybe I would get tired and go away?). So the reason why I decided to manipulate the situation. Something totally new for me. I will need to understand it. If I could ever do it again, I do not know - there were so many factors.

The feathers arising supported my line of thinking. Just feathers.

M

Re-Directing Energies

2010-06-15T07:35:00.000-07:00

Here is an update on the play with energies.

Back in May of 2008 I started writing on my work with energies. Specifically energies that bring with them intense negative affects (emotional and environmental influences). Later I placed into this grouping energies that provide for intense positive emotions - distracting from the reality of the surrounding situation. In summary these energies were consciously redirected to specific purposes and then sent out to perform that (positive) work. The results of that work were to be brought back to me as specified. Of recent I have had very conscious effects of that work and very apparent results.

These energies had been directed to be productive of funds to provide for my living and educational expenses. I experimented with differing figure amounts for each instance. I also experimented with allocating differing time frames for these results to occur within. The wording of the directions were of two types: one to bring the money or the other to bring the moneys free and clear of any obligation on my part to make these come to pass.

June 2010 was the beginning of the targeted results for a few of these re-directions of energies to bring results. The timing of such started to manifest actively of recent (as recent as April), but in differing ways.

First, these manifestations came as opportunities for possible financial gain. Like an extra day of work where one was not guaranteed before. Of course work and actions on my part were necessary. The opportunity was not really one I could take advantage of though at the time. Another opportunity came in the form of available possible moneys - in the form of applications for funds. None of these forms have brought very satisfying results. And each time leave behind a sort of residue of dissatisfaction. That energy of dissatisfaction was sent out again and more carefully directed to produce moneys or stay away and work in positive situations else where.

There were some manifestations earlier of funds coming from individuals that supported the goals of funding need support. But on for the most part beyond a few incredible and unexpected returns - the majority of energy has been productive of opportunities, but no consistent returns. To clarify this it was found that the number figures asked for are returning back as in opportunities and actual funds cut to about a fourth of the value requested that had been sent out as the energies' work order.

The focus point of the year will be upon any returns seen in September through November where a great number of energies have been sent to be productive of numbers in the millions. If it plays out as it has of recent there will be opportunities to gain funds, but the timing will be off to pursue them. The other factor will be that these possible manifestations will be cut down to a small percentage of the previous directions for funds.

It is working and the results are beyond coincidence, but I am looking closely at fine tuning the results. I am wondering if each energy that comes to me that attempts to be formative of negative results such as worry, ill feeling, emotional turmoil - if these each are not equal and of differing origins? My original goal was to re-direct negative energies that came into my day to do good and leave me alone. I thought that these would do better in a karmic way to do good and not do evil or ill within my environment. So I with resolve re-directed these to go help others in need and then evolved into providing for my work financially in the future to be more specific. So I am finding that these energies though effective as disruptive energies are not as effective as productive energies. Then as they return on the appointed dates they bring little results and a sense of being worn or decreased - a bit worrisome, but not strong to be disruptive as they had originally.

The original goal was met for me as in dispelling my work day and personal time of negative energies that roam about like fleas looking for a dog. I have very few of these now to deal with - I guess these got tired of having to go out and work for a living. I just don't see them as often these days.

The work so far has been an eye opener for me in my novice state. Like practice. Really I feel justified in re-directing these energies, since they don't benefit me as a sentient being and are not doing themselves any good as karmic beings. But to direct other beings (spirit, daimon, angel, energy) is a different matter for me - where is the (safe) motivation in that work? I would be more comfortable in developing my motivation in the work - I feel that would be a safe guard for me when dealing with other energies/beings. I don't want to owe any being nor be controlled by any being. The key word here is work.

So I found out that these energies that are productive of disruption of the over-all sense of the day/personal environment/perception of reality are of differing origins and abilities. When re-directed they are only productive of what they can be productive of (this being an unknown factor for now). Then they need to be re-directed again to confine their work to positive endeavors - like a continuous loop that directs them to continuous positive productivity on what ever level they can be productive upon.

The work a success - productive. But not as productive of the funds for my work as I had hoped for. I still have the results coming up between September to November to assess at this point. I am sure these results will be a mixed bag.

This small work is helpful as to my perception being developed with the entity/guardian that I am aware of present at this time. Either I am in his presence or he is in mine. That is beyond my abilities at this time - he is very active working on this - as am I to try to perceive.

2010-06-01T16:39:00.000-07:00

A brief note. Did not want to forget it to place here.

Finding a tool, symbol, ritual, practice or mantra is incredibly useful. The other facet is that the motivation and intentions toward the process are also as important - equal.

Making sure all the information gathered is what it should be. Do the homework before the practice. If there is a feeling that some one must give the practice, before it is used then maybe it is not the practice for you.

But it must be remembered that a simple process combined with matching motivation and intentions will get the job done.

I have been having visible success with the Kurukulle Mantra or Red Tara Mantra of the past week. It is very good to have something constructive to focus upon before the rigours of university work take over again next week for summer semester.

M

side-line summer reading

2010-05-31T11:43:00.000-07:00

Several years ago two used books came to my attention. These two books may already be mentioned somewhere in this blog. Both are paperbacks and one of them has a new edition available. These are not about anything specific that they must be read together. Each one has something to offer with one being more practical than the other within my personal practices.

One was suggested to me by a Priest of Set. That was an experience. He spoke of his experiences of non-acceptance by others of his work and in the same breath voiced non-acceptance of anyone who wished to learn. Very odd. The book is 'deity' oriented, but rich in symbols, meaning and historic practice. Bits and pieces that float about and could be of some use.

The Priests of Ancient Egypt
Serge Sauneron

The Priests of Ancient Egypt: New Edition

The other book gave meaning and a natural power to numbers. The book is written by what I consider an authority on Runes. Mr. King describes himself as a Priest of Odin within the introduction of the book. I have found the book useful and worth several reads and use as a reference.

The Elements of the Runes
Bernard King

If I had to make a choice between them I would purchase first "The Elements of the Runes". But both books are meaningful. They are the right size for tucking into a pack or under a pillow for a quick read. I have a fondness for used books regardless whether paperback or hardback - their used condition giving each book a personality.

M

Perceptions of "The One" - foundations of Magic

2010-05-25T14:15:00.000-07:00

Looking into the words of others who value magic I found something interesting.

There was a discussion about comments made toward an article and the response to that article. What was interesting was the use of an ascribed measurement/litmus test of others' paths in magic as to their use and view of the "demuirge". There was a particular form of a demuirge in play within the specific texts used documenting magic. Then according to a demuirge-perception measurement formed - the maturity of practitioners could be gauged as to their use or non-use of this demuirge perception in the practice of magic. The demuirge in the discussion was equated with the "one". The measure being that the individual who practices magic, if they do not see this demuirge as the "one" were at some sort of low level of understanding within their practice of magic.

hummmm.....

These thoughts written here maybe perceived of as too low in nature, if allowed to be measured in this manner.

There are many demuirge in the world and worlds. It just so happens that a group of demuirge who were perceived as a group of three indivisible pervades three present religions in the world today. Other non-western religions hold magic and recognize multiple deities or demuirges and are just as effective in the practice of magic. But who ever does write of magic must do so from the point of reference they relate to presently. This point of reference of the "one" is not a gauge of capability or capacity. This point of reference does not place some high or some low. Really it is the results of practice that should matter.

I do not see the "one" (the "all") as being a or any demuirge. To the extreme I see the "one" as "from many is one". I do not see the "one" found in the Kybalion as being a demuirge. The "one" is beyond and must be beyond all forms, perceptions and thoughts to be the foundation and housing for such - for all known and unknown. The Kybalion was presented from a certain perception and religious basis. What is needful is to experience the "one" through all perceptions - all means that work and are supportive of the human magic union expressive of the "one".

To limit the "one" to a face or place is not fully allowing the "one" within a work. (The "good" is a working point.) The meaning of union being only a working term and not a disabling of individual choice and uniqueness. So I will sit in ignorance of recognition of the "one", but not within any form floating about presently or in the past --- by what ever measure is being measured these days.

I do not feel that this is a mistake --- but part of the unfolding of realization. I write today of my appreciation of those who are bold enough to write what they are doing. I am hopeful that they will also continue to write of what their perceptions are productive of as well.

M

Directing Energy - Daily Living

2010-05-11T08:14:00.000-07:00

I have not put my thoughts and outcomes in writing of recent. There is no particular reason save for incredible focus and fatigue of late. All due to obvious reasons surrounding events. I have a small break at this time and am focused on picking up the pieces that I have had to let fall around me during my focus. It will be years though until I can focus with strong purpose again upon my path. The good thing is to know that I am still what I am and it has been kept in the shadows away from those who would use it for fodder to enhance their own biases and egos.

I look at the so many (persons) rushing about with beliefs that fail their daily tests - productive of no tangible results, but those that they conjure up as the building of their faith. I wondered if I should be doing the same in such religious bliss. With this comes the answer that has arisen so many times – commonsense that speaks/answers "no" to such activities. All individuals are on paths best suited to them for their reasoning level at this time. What will not be tolerated (by me) are the restrictions that these ignorant of their true results - inflict upon those around them with violence and withholding good from others. Religious restrictions that make no sense, harming and being from the source of a demiurge who restricts all to his (their) selfish means only. I say consider the source of your emotional faith and seek outside this something that will sensibly answer your needs.

Now as to progress. The ill emotions that flood each day or the premonition of ill or good can be directed. There is no secret to this if one but understands that daily emotional fodder and feelings of ill or good coming one’s way can be redirected to what the individual needs most. Take the energy that is coming your way and redirect it to what you want to have happen. This is not a waste of time. With the redirection of these energies away from a focus of confusing life toward needful events to occur in the future, the day will stay calmer. These energies only feed off one’s thought, emotions, beliefs and the environment an individual finds themselves within at the moment. Moving the energy into a line of action that is productive takes practice, when results are not expected right away. The sense of fear, doom, worries, depression, delight, and excitement, all of these can be "redirected" as energy to do productive actions in the future. Ask for more than you need and direct this energy to doing that on a specific date in the future – then send it forth to do so firmly. Firmly speak to the energy in such a way as not to address the ill it appears to be causing in the moment; only direct this energy to what you want it to do. Each time it comes to you, send this energy out to do the work necessary to achieve your success free and clear.

As I practice this I am seeing small results coming back to me. Supporting my work and opening up future opportunities. I see that I am bound by no allegiance to any, but I am aware of all. That is my religion or focus as it were. As those around me thank their unseen demiurge for both ill affects and delights. I move in knowledge that I will be controlled by none (that I have asked or fell into) moment by moment and I will direct all energy for what I see is positive on my path. That I believe is a mage. That magic is all around each individual. It is perception that is harming individuals and causing them to harm others in the name of their demiurge. Be aware of what you allow to enslave you. You don't need any demiurge for you and yours to live and be in safety and prosperity. It is your path only. You belong to yourself. That is what I have tested so far.

Peace and clearing of the mind to you.

M

Symbols - observed balanced & arcane

2009-03-27T10:12:00.000-07:00

I have been consciously assessing for symbols. What I avoid is a sense of trying to look for symbols as a sign of some sort of spiritual approval or religious experience. I know some will say, ‘well what is the point then if a symbol does not have this sense to it or a religious connecting event’? I am coming from the direction that the symbol will be powerful due to its potential interaction with me – me as part of the Universe – not the me that some believe must be sanctioned or approved by a deity of some sort.

That is not to say that these symbols could not arise from my work with certain deities. And I am directing my attention [making a mental point] to symbols that can connect me to my work with my Spirit Guardian or Spirit Companion.

The point of writing today is to place an experience here that brought to me an important observation – an observation about how things ‘work’.

I was enjoying my brief viewing of the morning sun at my work place. I was distracted and in the midst of much going on around me. I then saw the golden bright new light of the rising sun at the end of the hallway that gives a spectacular view of the city through its large ceiling to floor window display. I went to the windows and enjoyed a personal time in the sun light. Then it happened I saw a reflection of this light on the walls of the brick buildings a joining the building I was in. There were several outlines and solid golden images in rows on these opposite walls to note and these repeated themselves due to the nature of the window arrangement I was behind in my work place. I saw one meaningful symbol of two crest Moons jointed at their posterior centers – back to back. I felt this was most definitely a workable symbol from my moment with the Light. I then left the windows and sketched out the image on a piece of paper to store in my book for later. I was prompted by the thought to draw the other more vague repeating symbols I had observed as well.

This is when it got interesting. I had completed drawing the recognized symbol. Then I began to remember the other two symbols that appeared as blocks of Light without a relative shape. When I began to place each one on paper a pattern and meaning occurred. There had been two more symbols born of that moment that I had not noticed.

The first symbol was the joined crest Moons back to back representing to me a connection with my Spiritual Companion. The next symbol was a solid golden vertical rectangle that bowed in on either side in the middle – this was recognized as the symbol of Osiris – also known as Osiris’ spine or Djed Pillar. The next symbol when sketched out on paper was a golden vertical rectangle that was bowed out ward slightly – this was recognized as the symbol representative of Isis – tiet or tyet – the knot of Isis.

I had observed all of these symbols, BUT had put aside the ones I felt were not meaningful to me picking the most ‘obvious’ one. I believe that my Companion had pointed out to me to draw the other images for assessment later. [My Companion’s prompting I sense on a level I am learning to pay attention to and bring from the background into the foreground of my working thoughts.]

The two points I wish to make here are: is to observe or see all things at a moment of importance or even in times of distraction and the listen to what is being said to you on many levels. I would have missed out on these truly arcane symbols and the work I can do with them. I believe as well that the grouping of ‘three’ was important – and makes the Companion symbol that more approachable and powerful due to the assisting symbols of Osiris as death and Isis as life. There is much to be done with these symbols and I now have them in my hands to use. What was of deep meaning to me as well is: that these symbols were created by the new morning light, were reflections, held the same golden essence as the sun creating them and were huge in their display on the wall in sets of three.

My advice would be to be persistent in your search for symbols. Continue your outer work with an inner work – then expect results.

M

"Beginning a Magic path" - the Great Work - symbols - novice mage

2009-01-28T09:51:00.000-08:00

Considering my self still very new to this path of Magic or at least considering my self a novice mage - very novice - I thought that someone might want to know what I am thinking and doing at this point. Maybe someone would find it of value or answer questions they are having.

My path as been an inner work. Due to my life style this is most convenient and necessary. It has turned out not to be handicapping in the least - as I had feared. The work with my Guide has taken a life of its own. To me that experience is a very real one and had been moving on its own even before I was able to participate within this relationship due to my previous perceptions due to beliefs. Next there is always a sort of mentorship or a 'see and do' situations that arise - I obtain these through books that express stories or experiences others have had since I am unable or do not have available to me anyone to teach me or show me. Then of course I am observing all things around me from the things that happen in the world down to things that happen around me within many situations. I have found the majority of people ignore what is happening in the world and do not attempt to apply a sense of universalism to the events or activities of life - universalism is not 'belief' - but a spiritual perception of such things. I avoid belief.

What brought to me a sense of observation or what is possible or probable were a few writers who themselves were involved in this path. The first I mention here is Dion Fortune. She teaches by way of her experiences and through story telling. I had looked up the organizations associated with her in the past and at present. I also found from her writings that she found these organizations over time just as frustrating as I have found other organizations in the past when I have attempted to work with others or get on their 'good side' to show how sincere I am as to my work. So I opt here to work with what she has written and leave the people, places and organizations to themselves. I truly see no value in working with others upon initiations and the like - too many dead ends and rejections to deal with.

The Dion Fortune books I have read for the experience value of the story telling are:

The Sea Priestess
By Dion Fortune

Moon Magic
By Dion Fortune

These two books I value for both the personal story telling and the practical work:

Psychic Self-Defense
By Dion Fortune

The Magical Battle of Britain
By Dion Fortune

"The Magical Battle of Britain" is a hard book to get a hold of. I see on Amazon.com a very expensive copy available - and this was the case when I was attempting to find my paper back copy that I paid way too much for, but half of what I see today available on line. This book speaks toward her personal experiences during WWII and the gathering of people together to do group work and the specifics as to practical ritual and its results. I greatly value this book over all for those points - it was not a book that was deep in revelations or breakthroughs, but it was very useful as to focus upon practice within everyday life. The draw back of the book for me was its Christian focus point and use of Christian symbols. But that is to a point where Dion Fortune comes from and her work place arises from. For myself I am dealing with the value of all symbols within this work and trying not to hold any regard one way or another toward one symbol system as to another. But I have an inner feel that I do not wish to avail the use of what I consider 'demiurge' involvement in my life - I left that 'truth' long ago due to finding out that there are viable alternatives, than to deal with a contradictive/jealous entity and its associated system. I also avoid 'made up' systems - though it is powerful to pursue ones own personal symbols of power when one finds them - that has been my experience. I do know I still have a lot of old baggage to deal with as to this matter as well.

Dion Fortune also wrote a book on her take of the Kabbalah. I have a copy of this book, but with at least three attempts to get at the least half way through it - I have not been able to use this book in a useful way. I freely admit I am not versed at all in Kabbalah. I also from past experiences, know that help from those who are, whether Jewish or magic organizationally based would not work for me - really not be very helpful due to many uncontrollable factors. I have had poor experiences with people who place limitations upon working within a system - I despise such and I will deny them control over what I do - due to these past experiences. But I am very much focused upon a certain involvement with the 'Tree of Life' concept.

First the book that some may find useful though I have not found it such:

The Mystical Qabalah
By Dion Fortune

From another book I have and have posted within this blog in the past it was stated that the formation of a circle was a very important focus for magical work and could take a year to a few years to actually recognize the full potential of this ritual within one's work. I am starting to agree with that notion. I learn best from videos, since in person work with another mage is not an option I have right now. I also have a sense that if I do not articulate the words correctly within the ritual that it will not be as potent or could be otherwise useless. [Though I do hold that intention is key to focus and to the work along with the form that ritual takes.] My focus thus far has been to focus on a silent form of this ritual. Here is the link to a video that would be well worth saving and looking at over and over again.

Here is the video I found useful due to the explanation of the many symbols and how to make them - this is valuable since each is isolated and can be studied and experienced.

Lesser Ritual of the Hexagram

Here is a web site that has the words written down or from what I can see most of them and hopefully from listening to a number of videos and doing some reading an individual could get it right without an in person teacher - this is where having your Guide present - or actual you being aware they are present is helpful.

Lesser Ritual of the Hexagram

Now here is a silent video [silent as to words - has some meaningful music associated with it] of the very basic beginning ritual of "Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram".....

Magick - Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram

Then here is a video that gives commentary and a very powerful example of how this ritual can be done.....

Lesser Banishing Ritual Pentagram

Why do these? I feel there are two reasons. First it will help you become focused, the mind must become useful to a person - besides being a constant unrestrained river of joy, irritation, sadness, imagination, ideas and the like. Doing ritual forms a beginning point and a reason to proceed upon a path. Then second there is the unseen power that is there awaiting one to use in daily life - the connection with what is everything and yet appears separate or to some heresy.

I am reading a very small volume written by Crowley - though I have reservations concerning what I have heard about him and the biographies that are out there concerning his life - like diverse symbols I am finding something useful from the read.

Book Four
By Aleister Crowley

A comment I would make on this book so far is that of what he is describing of yoga, is very specific, appears experienced and to the point. I have experiences in yoga and found one particular type very easy and very productive of results on both the physical and spiritual levels. I will place a link "here" for a teacher of this yoga if any are of interest. As Crowley put it ..... "More rubbish has been written about Samadhi than enough; we must endeavour to avoid adding to the heap. Even Patanjali, who is extraordinarily clear and practical in most things, begins to rave when he talks of it. Even if what he said were true he should not have mentioned it; because it does not sound true, and we should make no statement that is a priori improbable without being prepared to back it up with the fullest proofs."

That is to be said about most religion when it produces fruit that is contradictive to life, humanity and its self.

The form of Yoga I used fulfilled the complete purpose. And my study and initiations within Buddhism when viewed in this way did the same thing - the whole point of it being to 'turn the mind'. The whole point is encompassing all that is available and letting this fall by its nature into place.

So that is what I have been doing. I hope this ramble through thoughts, books, ideas and places is of some use to you the reader.

M