copyranter

Link Haze, 11/20/09.

2009-11-20T15:30:00.003-05:00

• Coco channel.
• Anti-condo installation.
• Rubber fowl installation.
• The Indie Rock Coloring Book—how fucking twee.
• AT&T sics noted 3G expert Luke Wilson on Verizon.
• The Scrubbing Bubbles® are not so cute, innocent.
• Pics (above) from a Russian protest against campus sexual harassment.
• PETA sends our troops "Bin Laden bites" dairy-free (gack) chocolate bars.

Le Monde says Silvio Berlusconi sees world as one big boob.

2009-11-20T13:30:00.000-05:00

Tagged "bring the world into focus," this goofy, cheaply-produced TV spot by Paris agency Publicis Conceil for the magazine of the French daily newspaper doesn't make them look especially worldly or focused. But, it's got a squeezy boob in it—much like the set of stress boobs sitting in front of me on my work desk right this very moment—and it childishly makes fun of W. Bush. So, I'm sure le Français will be chortling (via).

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Plane Stupid.

2009-11-20T11:30:00.000-05:00

Watch (digital) polar bears fall 30,000 feet to their bloody deaths. (link)

Frosted Flakes are Gr-r-reat—even for budding misguided little homos.

2009-11-19T13:10:00.006-05:00

(click ads) Empowering (or demeaning, my read is fuzzy) print ads for Kellogg's Frosted Flakes ("Sucrilhos" in Brazil) by Leo Burnett Brazil. Because, it IS important for ALL kids—even gay little tigers and ugly little tigresses—to be healthy. And what's healthier than a pint of sugar for breakfast? No matter, how inclusive and progressive of the 104-year-old company! (images via) Previous homophobic ads: Gay men are not VIP men. In Australia, men with design sense must be gay. Previous scary cereal ad: Trix are for (severely depressed) kids.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Ivory 1930s.

2009-11-19T12:50:00.000-05:00

It's the latest installment of Retro Racist Ad of the Week. Previously, Sanka made fun of evil, lazy, stupid Mexicans. Now, an Ivory ad that featured a black porter "as smooth as chocolate custard." (link)

Russian woman driving drunk with her eyes closed while precariously holding the silly dragon mascot of her China Town cocktail.

2009-11-18T13:50:00.002-05:00

(click ad) Nothing to add here, it's all in the stupid headline (ad by Moscow agency Max Brandson, via). Related: a round-up of anti-drunk driving ambient ads inside public bathrooms. Related: Drunk-driving Lindsay Lohan mugshot. Related: the drunk googly-eyed VW Beetle.

(nsfw) UK men's masters tennis tournament promoted with old lady ass.

2009-11-18T12:50:00.003-05:00

(click ad) Is that you, Virginia Wade? Ra-ther sexist print ad via online site InterCasino advertising the chance to win free tix to the AEGON Masters Tennis Tournament—a men's only affair—December 1-6 at London's Royal Albert Hall. Doing creaky Ben-Gay battle will be former greats Aussie Pat Cash, crazy Croatian Goran Ivanisevic, and Scud-serving Mark Phillippoussis, et al. This cheeky piece of gratuitous AssVertising I could have done without (agency Isobel, image via). Previously: 50-year old John McEnroe wants to stick his 50-foot arm up your ass.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: The Nobel Funk Off.

2009-11-18T11:00:00.000-05:00

If you've ever wanted to see Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, and the Dalai Lama jam as a funky jazz trio, well this is as close as you're gonna get. Al Gore on cowbell (kidding)! (link)

UK 1974—Scary Stork Spectre Helps Hawk Jimmy Hats.

2009-11-18T10:40:00.005-05:00

(click ad) "120,000 unplanned babies are born in Britain every year...So when the stork arrives, make sure he's a welcome visitor." It's rare these days—and nonexistent in the US—that you see a condom ad that actually presents the main fucking selling point of the product. I've seen two recent instances: another stork-riffing Durex campaign via New Zealand, and a brilliant cost-saving prophylactic ad via India. Otherwise, it's all sleazy, specious enhance your pleasure bullshit (via).

Alfa Romeo gasses Mozart.

2009-11-17T16:30:00.002-05:00

"Play With Gas." To promote its MiTo Turbo GPL, The Italian automaker, via Milan web agency Fabbrica Virali, enlisted the choir from La Schola Cantorum S. Maria degli Angeli to fuck with Mozart's Requiem (his last composition). Quite low brau, and not very well connected to the car, but still better than most of the shitty auto ads out there these days. Will it go "viral?" Well, it's got 30,000 views in five days, so not bad. Austria probably ain't too happy with the stunt (via). Previous stunt videos: Samsung. IBM. Microsoft. MTV. Diesel. Ray-Ban. Ray-Ban again.

China Ad Watch: Head & Shoulders.

2009-11-17T15:25:00.003-05:00

(click ad) Viagra. Playboy. Durex lube. Absolut vodka. Guinness. The Volkswagen GTI. Even Ben Gay. Now that the People's Republic has fully embraced unbridled Capitalism, the Chinese people are joyously blowing their hard-earned Yuans on our non-essential immoral Western products. But Chinese advertising (click the above links for examples) just isn't quite there yet. However, this print execution for the dandruff shampoo, via Saatchi & Saatchi in Guangzhou, is not only comprehensible, but actually pretty funny. Scanned from a recent Archive.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Skin Cancer Action Week.

2009-11-17T14:20:00.000-05:00

1,700 sunbathers (figuratively) killed last weekend on popular Aussie beach. (link)

Drew Barrymore turns herself on by reading The Week.

2009-11-16T13:30:00.004-05:00

(click ad) Mark this one under "celeb endorsements that surprised the bejesus out of me." And not much of a money quote. That's the best Drew//the pub/the ad agency could come up with? Scanned from this week's The Week. It's celeb endorsement day here on copyranter.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Guinness China.

2009-11-16T13:05:00.000-05:00

Per usual via the People's Republic, these print ads for the Irish stout are just fucking strange. (link)

Kevin Spacey says 'hurty'

2009-11-16T10:30:00.002-05:00

The movie star channels his inner Ralph Wiggum in this new UK spot for the new digital version of the classic Olympus Pen camera. The nonsensical script is lame, and I don't get the weird woods morph effect. But I do admire the complete lack of facial retouching. Easy, if mildly embarrassing, £s for Spacey. Via London's Team Saatchi, via. Previous embarrassing overseas ad turns by mega stars: Jude Law. Quentin Tarantino. Jackie Chan. George Clooney.

Buygone Product of the Week: the "Oral Sex" Phone.

2009-11-16T09:50:00.002-05:00

(click ad) Larry Flynt bought 10. "Superbly sculptured by a European artist, it's a masterpiece of lightweight, micro-processor technology." $69.95? That's a lot of fucking 1970s bucks. And the gold leaves are blocking my tongue. Sadly, the 800-number is no longer in service. I wanted one for the bedroom to complement my sexxxy Love Rug™ and new closet-full of "Me Jane" spread-leg clothes hangers (image via).

Link Haze, 11/13/09.

2009-11-13T14:00:00.000-05:00

• The Decapitator hits NYC!
• Floating Windows XP error box.
• Neurosurgeon gets head transplant.
• Fred and Barney take a Winston break.
• A French McDonald's spot to jerk off to.
• NJ judge rules quadriplegic has right to bear arms.
• HOT 107.1, all Denver's hottest hits, played upside-down.
• NYC pay phones aren't used for calling so much anymore.
• Most cruises offer a mini-bar. We offer a mounted mini-gun.
• Blago's hair becomes visual shorthand for Illinois corruption.
• "I don't see anything in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants."

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Casa do Menor.

2009-11-13T11:35:00.001-05:00

A fairly powerful spot about sexually-abused children. Depressing, I know. Sorry. (link)

Condomi unsells me on its fruit-flavored condoms.

2009-11-13T11:10:00.001-05:00

(click ads) "Tastes like real fruit." I doubt it, but that's nice. A previous flavored prophylactic campaign from Germany featured hot models blowing tuttufrutti condom bubbles. Now, via ad agency DraftFCB Kobza in Vienna, we have dick chomping. Do you understand the draw of fruit-flavored condoms? If you are a female/male prostitute who sucks rubber-sheathed penes all day and night, then maybe you do (images via). Here's a previous ad for Condomi ultra thin condoms.

(kinda NSFW) Hot naked sweaty drippy sluicy Yoga.

2009-11-12T15:00:00.007-05:00

(click ads) Nipple and Ass Crack (sorry)! Kinda creepy, artsy, melting skin ads by Leo Burnett Hong Kong for hot yoga classes at Life Yoga. Copy line: Sweat off your flab. That, and your head. And, where's the melting hot dude ad in the campaign (images via)? Previously in Yoga: what should NOT be on a McDonald's cup: a woman executing the Vrksasana pose. Jane Magazine calls her pose Downward Facing Slutdog.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Schweppes.

2009-11-12T12:00:00.001-05:00

Rihanna-pummeling asshole Chris Brown is, unbeknownst to him, being used to sell the mixer to Israelis in a new campaign. (link)

Buygone Product of the Week: the "Me Jane" hanger.

2009-11-12T11:45:00.004-05:00

(click ad) See Jane spread. Fuck yeah—"sexy clothes hangers for men" topped by a "black lace-trimmed leopard cloth bikini." $1! Metrosexuals? You can have your pussy padded hangers. I want a closet-full of these. No corresponding "Me Tarzan" hanger unfortch (image via). Previous sexy sexist buygone product: the Frederick's blow-up bra.

Hockey fans accosted at urinals by terrible play-by-play announcer.

2009-11-11T13:20:00.005-05:00

Toronto sports radio station AM640 placed motion-sensor audio posters above some pissers inside the men's rooms at the Air Canada Centre, home of the awful Maple Leafs. The copy—"the crowd can't keep their eyes off his helmet"—is symbiotically awful. Why not install a few in the stalls, too? "He skates over the red line and dumps it in hard..." (via) Previous hockey ads: Samsung's fake curling rock goal. FedEx's pathetic sponsorship ad. Calgary Flames playoff ads come back to burn them. And Sean Avery dons a spiffy new sweater. Previously in: public bathroom advertising.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Diabetes.

2009-11-11T12:20:00.000-05:00

November is American Diabetes Month—which means it's time to post an awareness video with a nsfw masturbation joke. (link)

China introduces the special edition VW GTI "PP"

2009-11-11T12:00:00.004-05:00

(click ads) "It will go fast" is the translation on the copy line for these Volkswagen GTI ads by BIG advertising (that's the agency's name) in Beijing, China. Lost in translation, apparently, is how showing people who've pissed their pants will make someone want to buy the car. Are they using "go" as a double entendre (is it one in Chinese?)? Or are they saying that the speed of the GTI will make you pee yourself? If that's the case, shouldn't we instead be looking at individuals who've shit themselves (images via)? Previously in: PissVertising. Previous VW ads: good (1, 2, 3) bad (1, 2, 3).