copyranter

Link Haze, 11/06/09.

2009-11-06T15:10:00.005-05:00

• The Cow Head Diner.
• Pretend you're homeless.
• A wonderful rejection letter.
• Government option=Dachau.
• The worst acting gig imaginable.
• Place image in dictionary next to irony.
• Interview with a surviving Branch Davidian.
• Dodge Viper logo is Daffy Duck upside down.
• Call China for pennies, about a billion of them.
• What the hottest agency in the world looked like 17 years ago.
• 9 years and $2 billion later, the Yanks are finally top centaurs again.

Michael Jackson: a pigmentation timeline.

2009-11-06T11:25:00.003-05:00

(click ad) Black & white (ha) Press ad for a "True Stories" documentary about MJ's final days airing on Prime TV in New Zealand. Let's hope the show is/was equally as informative and respectful (ad by Draft FCB Auckland, image via). Previous Michael Jackson ads: Joe Jackson the star of new Brazilian child abuse ad. Jacko makes an appearance in a Chinese skin whitening cream ad. And, two illicit Michael Jackson ads from 2008.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Secret.

2009-11-06T11:05:00.001-05:00

The P&G brand wanted to attract more teens. So they shot a horribly cheesy, fake skateboarding scene with a girl in heels and a dress. (link)

This '2012' subway takeover would maybe not fly in NYC.

2009-11-05T12:35:00.004-05:00

(click image) Pretty scary Ad Creepage currently up in Rio de Janeiro for the Mayan calendar Apocalypse flick, (I hope Woody Harrelson bites it hard) opening here in the States on Friday the 13th, of course. First off, when the Evil Doers next blow up and flood an underground tunnel somewhere in the world, my bet is, that 'somewhere' will be 'here.' Secondly, our tunnels already leak just fine, thx.
(image via) To view more frightening ad visuals, go here and here.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: School of Visual Arts.

2009-11-05T12:00:00.001-05:00

One of my alma maters hops on the dangerously overcrowded Obama exploitation bandwagon. (link)

Gold's Gym in Costa Rica artistically mocks Fatties.

2009-11-05T10:35:00.002-05:00

(click ads) As humans worldwide enter the Fat Season (Halloween—Valentine's Day), thoughts, if not actions, turn to Lean Cuisine and gym memberships. Here, in a campaign by ad agency Jotabequ in San Jose, your belts and buttons are yelling at you: "Ya es hora" (loosely: It's about time). Very nice artwork and label copy treatment; the ads will probably win many awards next year. Not sure how effective they are at motivating the sedentarily-inclined/reclined to get off their asses, but at least they don't sugarcoat the sell like many gym ads do (images via). Previous gym ads: Crunch. Crunch again. Equinox. Equinox again. David Barton's AssVertising. And Hernia or Orgasm?

Ridiculous Ambient Advertising of the Week.

2009-11-04T15:00:00.002-05:00

(click images) It's, yes, lingerie placemats, for K-Lynn Lingerie, a chain with locations in Kuwait, Lebanon, and Dubai. They were placed in "selected cafes," where dining Middle Eastern women and cross-dressers experienced how they might look if they were wearing slutty stockings and garter belts. This won an award at this year's Dubai Lynx ad festival. It is creepy Ad Creep (by JWT Cairo, images via). Previously in ridiculous ambient ads: hairy. scary. pukey. meaty. dusty. speedy. punchy. pissy. disgusting.

If only all ads had a light switch.

2009-11-04T12:15:00.005-05:00

(click images) Bus poster put up by Toronto's city government promoting its Green initiative LiveGreenToronto.ca. Little too much copy for an outdoor ad, but a fairly creative piece of communication when you consider it's from a government agency. I'm guessing the light doesn't stay off? Otherwise, well, that would make it a really Green ad. And yes, there is the 'wasting electricity to do Green advertising' irony. But really, all ads waste energy of some sort. By Agency 59 in Toronto, via. Here's a post with a roundup of recent Green ads, good and (mostly) bad. Previously in: high-tech bus posters.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Smart Car.

2009-11-04T11:50:00.000-05:00

Cute! (link)

Make sure you pack up your Seniors securely before shipping them off to the old folks home.

2009-11-03T14:20:00.001-05:00

(click ads) The town of Siena, Italy wanted to produce a poster campaign reminding young people to treat their elders—"the third age"—with respect. But instead, local agency milc created these ads which mercilessly mock them. "Close your eyes PopPop, I'm just going to push your face gently down. It'll all be over soon." (images via) Previously in The Olds: Geezer Jocks. Geezer Junkies. Geezer Incontinence. And a terrifying Alzheimer's awareness spot via France.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Telenet.

2009-11-03T12:05:00.000-05:00

To fight the "Mexican flu," A Belgian telecom company helpfully proposes replacing the handshake with the "airshake." The effort includes a classy instruction video featuring the Mexican Hat Dance song. (link)

The Economist continues its "ads for stupid Americans" series.

2009-11-03T11:25:00.003-05:00

(click ad to read) The UK business magazine has a legacy of whip-smart print ads that have made copywriters the world over touch themselves. But those ads were mostly British ads. In the past year, via my buds BBDO NY, they've launched a dumbed-down campaign here in the states, with an emphasis on Dallas for some reason. Previously they set-up a branded mechanical bull in a plaza to help Texans grasps the "ups and downs" of finance. Now, to help the locals with world affairs, they've placed this poster riffing off of cardio machine workout programs in 75 health clubs around the city. Those dang Mideast peace negotiations will wind ya! (image via) Previous dumbed-down Economist ads: They do not cover Cloud-Cuckoo-Land.
Related: the best Economist cover ever.

"Let's see (puff-puff): C- or D-cup tonight?"

2009-11-03T10:30:00.002-05:00

(click image) If only some enterprising designer had combined one of these blow-up babies with the Nipple Bra™, lucky lascivious ladies of the past could have sported some true torpedo titties (via a 1963 Frederick's of Hollywood catalog, image via). Previous Frederick's catalog post: 1964—get that "marry a millionaire" look!

Dead, again, is the New Black (again).

2009-11-02T13:25:00.003-05:00

(click ads) Happy Day of the Dead! Not to outdone by their Kiwi neighbors, JWT Melbourne goes Dead Model for the Sarti Tailors 09 collection, their "Fall" collection; another tired fashion ad meme that's been beaten like a dead clotheshorse, even by me (images via).

Dead is the New Black (again).

2009-11-02T12:40:00.003-05:00

(click ads, huge files, sorry) Using "dead" models to sell fashion is of course nothing nouveau. It's been done artistically, like in this Kate Spade shoes ad. It's been done sleazily, like with this Duncan Quinn ad. And it's been done realistically, like in this Jimmy Choo ad. Here, via DDB New Zealand, we get Gory for Superette, an Auckland boutique. "Be caught dead in it" is the tagline. The campaign will be running in newspapers and fashion mags, as well as on billboards, according to the agency press note. Fashion is death, it's been said—by about a million unoriginal pretentious fashion photog pricks (images via).

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Whirlpool Brastemp oven.

2009-11-02T12:00:00.001-05:00

How would you visualize "the biggest oven ever?" (link)

Cheesy 1970s t-shirt finally becomes a lube ad.

2009-11-02T10:55:00.000-05:00

(click ad) For you youngsters, it's this t-shirt. The culprit is K-Y via Hamburg, Germany ad agency Kolle Rebbe. I've thoroughly covered the classy lube advertising category here over the last 4+ years. Previously, we've seen a rabbit in a mason jar via Spain. A fisting from inside an ass via Switzerland. A choo-choo stuck in the poo-poo via Australia. And, fruity wet holes via Germany. Where's this one rate? I'd say, it's the lamest of the bunch. How 'bout you? (scanned from the latest Archive)

Link Haze, 10/30/09.

2009-10-30T14:00:00.002-04:00

• PANTYFISH.
• Candy corn cones.
• "Death" and "Death II" by the Chapman brothers (via).
• This is where the next interesting item would go, if only I wasn't boring-bludgeoned by every goddamn thing I saw this week. See you Monday, fuckfaces.

Loser coaches cry into their p*ssy green tea.

2009-10-30T11:30:00.000-04:00

(click ad, scanned from SI) Both vanquished from the playoffs, Joe Torre and Terry Francona sit down in some polite cafe to talk, not baseball, but yoga and tofu and psychotherapy. Where the fuck have you gone Earl Weaver and Leo Durocher (RIP)? Previous baseball ad posts: A-Rod's got milk and big pants. The official hooch of the Yankees. Bud sez watching Mets games requires nine innings of drinkability. Related: Moises Alou pees on his hands.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Jumpstart.org,

2009-10-30T11:15:00.000-04:00

The literacy organization places an ad in a poor NYC neighborhood that kinda mocks illiterates. (link)

Floating (Congressional Committee) Head.

2009-10-29T15:00:00.005-04:00

(click image) Chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee—and my Congressman—Charles Rangel gets the street art floating headvertising treatment on The Bowery near Houston. After 38 years in office, he certainly has learned of many ways to supplement his means. Previously in NYC street art: the fake American Apparel ad artist. And subterranean slicer Poster Boy.

copyranter on ANIMAL NY: Ad Creep Update—Flies.

2009-10-29T11:30:00.000-04:00

Video of 200 flies with mini ad banners attached to them at a Frankfurt book fair. (link)

I wonder how many hands this thing mangled?

2009-10-29T11:00:00.001-04:00

(click ad, from 1950) And how the fuck did it work? I guess it shook the shit out of your hand, which you then applied to your body? And where's the, I'm assuming, even scarier STIM•U•LAX Senior? From Oster! Dig the wavy type on STIM (image via). Previously in probably deadly products from the 1950s: the Homko remote-controlled Mow-bot. Previously in: 1950s ads.

Here's something I have hardly anything bad to say about.

2009-10-29T10:30:00.002-04:00

(click image) It's an efficient idea for advertising fuel efficiency. To promote the new Volkswagen Golf BlueMotion, DDB in Berlin stamped the map portion of 5,000 Euro banknotes of various denominations with matching route lengths showing how far you could go for your money. The notes were put into circulation at German VW dealers and service shops. Yes, it is an example of Ad Creep, which I usually deride. But this defacing of banknotes isn't so evil. And it's informative (image via). Previously in VW ads: Classic. Sexist. Terrible. And zany (the Peter Stormare GTI spots).

Get clean forever for $2.

2009-10-28T12:40:00.004-04:00

Or "no pay" if it fails. "Can be given secretly in the privacy of home...Guaranteed to banish forever all desire...Save him from poison." Sounds like it is poison (ad from 1929 Modern Mechanics, image via). Previously: Is that a nipple in this 1937 Simoniz ad? 1930s Wall Street Journal—"How a boner helped me earn $15,000."