What you decide to do with the time and waiting makes all the difference.

There were times I wanted to be perfectly healed and back to my normal self immediately, the thought of waiting was frightening to me. I wanted it to happen and I wanted it to happen now. I learned that instead of focusing on what I need to happen, accepting where I was at was way more pleasurable then forcing something to happen in a time frame. It actually made my healing feel like less of a burden, which my body really liked.

There are other things I’m waiting for, like my new website to be finished. I’ve been working on the design and content for months, and we’re finally at the production stage. It’s being coded and tweaked at the moment. I’m so excited for it to be live, and I can feel myself getting anxious with the waiting process. I know it will be a huge step forward, and it feels like new things that are blossoming in my business are forced to wait in the wings. Oh, did I say forced? That’s my clue that I am way too focused on the waiting.

So what can you do when you’re waiting for that “new thing” to happen?

Whether you’re waiting to feel better or life to bring you something new, here are some things you can do in the meantime:

1) Focus on something you really enjoy. Make sure it’s not something that requires waiting and that you don’t obsess about doing it perfectly, just something that’s plain old fun.

2) Create a goal that relates to what you want, but is not about getting the complete outcome at once. Find one easy step that you can add to your daily routine that will get you closer to what you want without making you feel that it’s too hard or will take too long. If you’re trying to eliminate something from your diet because you believe it will help your digestion, try eliminating it in small pieces at first and move towards total elimination. This way you can see what your body really needs without torturing yourself with thoughts about trying to overhaul your whole diet at once.

3) Make more time to connect with others. It’s amazing what you can gain from connecting with others. Not only will you stop focusing on what you’re waiting for, you may learn lots of things that can help you on your journey.

When you stop making  “waiting” the enemy and make it part of the process, you get further toward your goal much faster and are able to open yourself to the relaxation that can help you to succeed.

I could clearly relate to what people are going through. Though not having friends or close family there, I did feel a little removed from it or so I thought.

The night after hearing the news I had a hard time sleeping and I had a stomachache. Since that doesn’t happen too often to me anymore I thought it must’ve been something I ate.

The day after the attack I tried to resume my normal work routine, but I couldn’t figure out why I was distracted. I tried to focus on all the things that I had to get done, but it just wasn’t working.

Then I did what always works best for me, I laid down and focused on my breathing. Then the source of my distraction became evident. I was feeling uncomfortable with how I could already see a division within this country regarding this tragedy. People on social media began to relate personal political agendas to the tragedy and politicians started a blame game. This was very different than what I remember happening after 9/11 when the country seemed to come together and everyone wanted a sense of connection.

It’s clued me in to the fact that what I needed right now was to connect. It had become my pattern to disconnect when I was stressed or unhappy. I thought if I just ignored my feelings they would go away. So I made the decision to call a friend and felt much better.

I see so many people who are suffering from IBS makeup and other physical ailments do the same thing. They feel frustrated with their health and they try to wish it would just all go away. They don’t ask for help and they don’t feel comfortable moving forward to create the change that their body needs.

They don’t realize that creating a sense of connection with both their bodies and people around them can create huge shifts in their life.

I know what you’re thinking: no one understands what I’m going through.

Maybe they don’t.

That’s when you need to stretch a little further in your life and find people who do.  You need to find a group of people who make you feel good and believe that you can get well. Many times I go on to online forums and information boards about IBS and find that they seem to be a place where people just post about their gripes but don’t really offer the true sense a connection to one another.

Whether it is because they don’t think they can feel better or they don’t want to make an effort, is not really important. What is important is they are missing out on the one thing that has been scientifically and psychologically proven to help people heal: connection. When you can both share your feelings around emotional or mental pain and receive love and understanding; you then feel you want to give that to someone else. This circle of connection makes your body feel a whole lot better. It is one of the keys to truly feeling better physically and mentally.

In that spirit of caring, giving and receiving I realized that I really want to create a space for people to connect and not just learn about how to end the struggle with IBS and pain alone. So in the process of creating my new website, I am also in the beginning stages of creating a membership group to give people the opportunity to connect and join each other in a safe space where they can begin their journey to better mental and physical health.

I’d like to ask for your help in this, I’d love to hear what you feel you would need and want in a group. I want to know everything: how large of a group, what kind of class offerings, and how you would like to share about your journey.

So feel free to comment and share with a friend too

I wanted to follow up by sharing with you some specific ways in which I was able to make the change from making excuses to making time.

At first, you may need to help from friends or family members who can help you in clearing out the clutter and seeing what areas you need more structure in. I have a friend I really admire and when I watch how she made things happen in her life, I saw what I could add to my own. I started out slowly and so can you.

You can do it by setting small weekly goals. Look at areas in your life where you don’t have flow, these are usually things that when you have a flare-up or are in pain, fall behind. It can be as little as creating a laundry routine where you’re doing smaller amounts at a time or as big as creating spreadsheets that help you monitor what you are doing to get closer to your goal. Yes, spreadsheets sound really technical but you can apply them to your health. So if you are starting a new mind-body practice, exercise routine or diet change, you can create small daily goals that you can look at weekly and see your progress. Taking small steps always feels better than the huge overwhelm we get from thinking that we have to change ourselves all at once.

Over time, you can look into the future and see how your small goals can become larger goals. You’ll begin to see how you are making progress even if it’s as small as being able to do one more exercise than you could month ago. It will also show you how you’re spending your time. Can you carve out a few hours to do something you enjoy?  You’ll find that you have more time for this because all that stuff that you had to get “done” is actually getting done.

If you are looking for more ways to “get stuff done” by using your mind-body connection, I have some great tools in my e-book Listening to Your Gut: Connect with Your Body and Get IBS Relief.

It’s all about giving yourself empowerment and freedom of choice. You can create a rhythm in your life, not allowing external circumstances to create your reality. When you realize you have the choice you can then make a commitment to making the time for it or not. It doesn’t have to be a perfect scenario where you get fixed fast, it is simply the feeling of joy you get from engaging in your life again that makes your soul feel alive.

Imagine how much better your body will begin to feel when your soul is content.

Here are some things to think about:

1) How can you create more choices in your life?

2) What changes can you make to start creating what you want?

3) Start by making a schedule of how you use your time everyday. Include everything. Look at tasks that you could change.  Could you ask for help?

4) Can you break things into smaller pieces that follow a predictable schedule so you don’t get overwhelmed?

5) Could you simply watch 1 or 2 hours less of TV each week in order to create more self-care time?

The more you examine what you do with your time the more you’ll realize there are little spaces of time throughout the day that you can use to work towards your mental and physical health, as well as your dreams.

I’d love to hear what you’ve come up with!

I have hated systems and resisted organization most of my life. It’s not that I can’t see the benefits, but I am very right brained and it felt too rigid to me to try to fit my life into such a regimented mold.

However, I’ve seen a shift in myself towards both systems and organization. Though it’s hard to see pain as a gift, that’s one positive thing that being in pain has given me.

When you are injured and you can’t do things the way that you’re used to, it’s very disconcerting. I used to be able to push things off as long as I wanted to and then could pick a random day to get everything done. It never felt particularly good, in fact it was somewhat stressful, but it was just the way I got things done. After being injured I really had to be very cautious of how I used my body so I couldn’t do very much at once, it was all about small things in small amounts of time. In living a life of turtle steps, I’ve developed a real knack for creating a rhythm in my life in which I can get things done in a peaceful, non-overwhelming way. In order to do this I did have to add more structure to my life.

Surprisingly, I really like it. It’s taught me a lot about myself and made me realize when I was making excuses in my life. It also showed me that when your mind is scattered your life rhythm reflects that.

If you are looking for more ways to understand your mind-body connection, I have some great tools in my e-book Listening to Your Gut: Connect with Your Body and Get IBS Relief.

Then I started thinking about how this could help you. You may have found me for a variety of reasons. Some of your are suffering from IBS or chronic pain, while others may have worked with me in the past as I did career coaching. Regardless of the issue you’re facing now, the way you approach life has a big effect on both your happiness and healing.

I hear from people with IBS that it disrupts their life and they just can’t accomplish what they want to accomplish. I don’t disagree, it definitely can put a damper on your life. However, if you create a rhythm in your life that is disrupted every time you have a flare-up it’s not really a rhythm. It’s really a reaction to your condition. So if you can learn to create a flow in your life that allows you to accomplish your goals and make time for rest when you need it, you can live a life that you enjoy regardless of what your body’s doing.

Life gets messy at times and you can’t make time perfect. However, when you set the intention that you want structured flow in your life that will make achieving your goals easier because you create a momentum within yourself. That momentum makes the hard days a little easier because it gives you something to look forward to. Without that momentum it’s like falling down only to get back up and fall down again.

Sometimes the hardest thing is just getting started. In part two of this blog, I’ll give you tips where to begin.  Until then, I’d love to hear your thoughts:)

I laughed inside when my client thanked me for not telling her to do yoga and pilates. That’s the funny thing about self-care; you don’t have to do anything. I notice a lot of people putting self-care into their routine as a forced thing. Then they feel tired out from it and forget the fun stuff.

The interesting thing is that self-care is the fun stuff. My definition of self-care is letting yourself do what ever you want to do. If yoga, meditating, or writing endlessly in your journal about your woes is not your thing don’t do it. It won’t work.

Self-care only works when you listen to your body and do what you want without resistance. For me, I’ve learned to do what I want to do in the moment. So if I randomly feel like reading a few pages of a fictional novel or walking my dog, I do it. I don’t push it aside or promise myself I’ll do it later, I do it right then. Why? Because in that moment my body is telling me it needs a break. My mind is probably overwhelmed with thoughts and trying to do work at that moment would be highly unproductive. And when I do what I want in the moment when I sit down to work everything gets done in a much easier way. Because now I am relaxed, I am not resisting anything. My mind is free to produce what it really wants and my body feels good. To me that is self-care. If you’re looking for more self-care tips, you can find them in my e-book Listen to Your Gut: Connect with Your Body and Get IBS Relief.

I am pretty certain you’re thinking: oh well she works for herself so she can do that. Well, you can do it too. It doesn’t matter where you are and it takes a small amount of time.

When I was working in a 9 to 5 situation, I would take several moments in the day just to step away and feel good. I didn’t even have to leave the office. I would look at pictures I enjoyed for a moment (literally sixty seconds). At lunch, I would read the blog or books of people I admired and resonated with. Occasionally, I would even take a short walk during lunch. I attribute those small moments as keeping my energy and inspiration up so I could explore new things outside of work later in the day.

I have many clients who have high stress can’t stop for a minute jobs. I tell them they need that 60 second break here and there. First they resist but when they try it they are wowed by it.  

They are wowed by it because not only do they feel less stress but also their body feels better. When you don’t take the time to check into your body you don’t notice that your body may be starting to flare up with pain or stress. Taking a moment to check in and 60 seconds to do something that feels good to your body is a great way to keep your body in a natural flow. Allowing yourself these moments also gives you a sense of freedom, which produces a better emotional and mental state.

Start by giving yourself a 60 second break three times a day, I know you’ll see a difference.

I’d love to hear about it and please feel free to share here

This came to me when I purposely avoided creating intentions and decided to let the first few weeks of January sink in and let the intentions form themselves. Then when the time was right I decided I was going to create my intention in the form of a word this year and that word is: release.

When it came to me it seemed perfect. Because I realize in the last year there are a lot of things that I need to release both emotionally and physically.

Everything we hold emotionally affects us physically.

When I say that, people often get nervous and think that feeling a bad emotion is going to hurt them physically. We are inundated with information about how being positive and optimistic is the key to a healthy life. But it’s near impossible to feel positive and optimistic if you’re holding emotions down.

When we hold back too many emotions they build up in our body the same way and look to release wherever they can. Since we’re not taught to show our emotions or to have any emotion that is deemed bad, there’s probably a huge amount of unfelt emotions that are building pressure within your body.

It’s not that you make yourself sick or create pain, it’s purely an unconscious process. The place where things become stuck and confusing, is when you withhold an emotion and it takes another form. It’s the unconscious stress of holding on to something that creates added stress on your body and its functions.

If you have IBS or another kind of digestive disorder, your body is experiencing abdominal discomfort and perhaps digestive issues. In a sense that’s an area of weakness in your body. When you get stressed over family disagreement or uncertainty about your position at work, your body starts to tense up. And if you don’t address the source of the tension and release it, that pressure may add to what already happening in your digestive track. So your stomach is a little upset, add some muscle tension to it, then it really starts to hurt.

Before you know it, you are heading towards a flare up.

Then it can turn into a cycle in which you feel you have no control over.

But you do have control over it. That’s where people get a little stuck, and they feel like their life is being controlled by their symptoms. And though releasing your emotions won’t make the symptoms go away immediately, it will start a process of  relaxation and help your body function better when things do get stressful.

The problem most people encounter is they are not sure of what they’re feeling. If you don’t know what you’re feeling, how do you release it?

This is where a little soul-searching comes to play.

Here are a few ways to feel and release:

1. Do a body scan: find places that seem tense and give them space to relax by stretching or breathing.

2. Notice what you’re feeling during the day and write it down. Instead of reacting to a coworker’s criticism or freezing up at a family event, recognize what you’re feeling. You don’t have to respond if you’re not ready (in fact it’s better not to say anything until you know why you feel certain way) just notice what emotion comes up. Is it anger? Fear? Take a moment and write it down. The more you recognize and acknowledge your emotions, the easier it will be to release them.

3. This is where the soul-searching really comes into play. Where are these emotions coming from? Do they remind you of something from the past? If you find that this is the case, then it’s time to release them. You can do that by doing something physical like kickboxing or running.

Remember we can’t control anything in life 100%, and that includes your symptoms. But we can take control of what we do with them and how we let them affect our lives.

Looking for more tools to help you create less stress and more freedom every day? Check out my e-book  Listening to Your  Gut:  Connect with Your Body and Get IBS Relief

Good luck on your journey, I know that releasing will help me as I embark on a new year.

Are you pushing yourself to feel jolly to make it a great holiday for family and friends?

If you answered yes to either of those questions take a moment and see how your body really feels about creating the perfect holiday.

Grab pen and paper and spend some time with these questions:

Are your IBS symptoms more severe this time of the year?

Write down what you are thinking and doing when you notice your symptoms increase. Notice if there’s a pattern. Understanding your body’s response can help you change some patterns that may not be serving you.

Do you find yourself pushing away negative emotions during the holidays?

Take a pause three times a day and notice what you are feeling. Acknowledge whatever it is you are feeling at the moment and let yourself feel it. Stuffing down your emotions can create tension in your body which is never helpful with IBS.

Then let go of all expectations of creating a perfect holiday and being a happy little elf this year.

In my popular holiday post: Fixing the Fa La La I share how I learned to be happy with just being me during the holidays.

Enjoy!!

It’s not easy having IBS during Thanksgiving. Besides the fact that you are inundated with tons of different foods you are also eating in different social situations and although we love our families sometimes being with our families can be stressful. These two things combined make a bad combination for people suffering with IBS and can turn the “holiday” into a “hellday”. However, it doesn’t have to be that way,  there are things you can do to enjoy this plentiful time.
If your goal is to experience a happy and healthy Thanksgiving Day here are the top five things I do during Thanksgiving to make it a healthy and successful event.


1) I always eat very slowly. This is something I’ve done unconsciously my entire life but I found in my studies that eating slower actually helps with digestion.


2) I’m also very cautious of the foods I eat. I know it’s fun to try tons of new things during the holidays but I found that sticking with what I know works for me and adding little flavors or treats here and there always leads to feeling much better the next morning.


3) If I’m going to a family member or friend’s house I often bring different foods that I know agree with me. Sometimes people feel awkward because they feel that they’re offending the host or don’t want attention from people who may ask questions. But I have found letting go of any of the thoughts or  discomfort around bringing your own food is crucial because what you’re really doing is giving yourself what you need. People do and will understand that. You don’t even have to explain it to then. You can just say that there are certain foods that are more agreeable with your system. There are so many people with different dietary needs like gluten free or egg free that people really understand and it’s not a source of embarrassment.


I also practice different mental activities during Thanksgiving to keep down my stress level so I can have a successful digestion and overall health.


4) Since it’s Thanksgiving a great way to do that is to focus on gratitude. Although there many things to be thankful for on Thanksgiving I find focusing on specific items to feel good about really makes a difference. Find three specific things that you are grateful for inputs and focus on them throughout the day.


5) You can also keep a list of the things that are pleasurable to you that day and if you feel that your IBS symptoms are having an impact on your fun go back and look over your list. I read recently from Dr. Christine Northrup that”the nervous system can’t tell the difference between the experience and the imaging of it.” So re-reading the last will give your mind the  pleasure boost that it needs.

Last but not least: enjoy your day. We spend so much time worrying, that we often forget how much we do have so much to be thankful for and that we can create joy in our lives despite circumstances.


With much love I am thankful for you,
Laura


P.S.  Looking for more tools to help you create less stress and more freedom every day? Check out my e-book  Listening to Your  Gut:  Connect with Your Body and Get IBS Relief

That quote from Mary Oliver really got me thinking. I often talk to my clients about the importance of breathing but I’m not always sure if they fully understand the importance of it.

For a long time I didn’t either. I would do a short meditation and take quick deep breaths if I felt stress but I really wasn’t consciously aware of how I was breathing. It was actually through the process of being in pain that I became aware of the lack of air I was taking in. Not being aware is natural if you’re feeling the fight or flight response which people who are having pain or other discomfort like IBS often feel.

Why is breathing important? Scientific studies have shown that correct breathing can help manage stress and stress-related conditions by soothing the autonomic nervous system. When we are stressed we tend to do shallow breathing as a typical stress response which deprives our body of a necessary function: our cells need oxygen and their waste product, carbon dioxide, needs to be expelled. Without it we are in a state of hyperventilation that can prolong anxiety and stress.

When I realized how little air I was taking in it gave me a greater awareness of my body as a whole. It also gave me a greater awareness of how I was living my life.

When you are breathing small everything feels very big. Even the most basic life events can be stressful.

When you learn to breathe big you actually live your life with less of a focus on pain and fear. And that makes it easier to really experience life and go towards your goals regardless of what’s happening mentally or physically.

But to get to that place you have to start with awareness. It can be challenging at first because we think we are aware. However, when you cultivate true awareness of how your body is functioning in the role of your mind it becomes easier to go from breathing a little and meeting the basic requirements of living to breathing fully and creating what you really want.

I have tools in my e-book Listening to Your Gut: Connect With Your Body and Get IBS Relief  that can help you cultivate awareness and develop techniques for healthier living.

To help you get started I’m going to be sharing a video in my next blog that gives you really simple breath techniques that can make big changes in how you feel about your IBS symptoms and letting go of stress.

I’d love to hear any questions you might have about breathing or the success you’ve had with it. Any questions or feedback will be helpful in sharing the breathing techniques in the next blog.

She talked about body language and how it affects our entire lives.

It got me thinking about how body language affects our reaction to discomfort.

She discusses successful people having higher levels of testosterone and lower levels of cortisol. And how the way we posture our bodies can naturally produce these two things. So high-power poses can produce good hormones, which equals feeling confidence and success where as low power poses increases our cortisol levels, which is our stress hormone. So staying in a low power poses can in essence increase your stress level, which in turn decreases your sense of confidence.

It got me thinking about, you, my community. How do you hold yourself every day?

Do you feel disempowered by IBS are Crohn’s and find yourself often huddled from the pain?

Do you think holding yourself in a high-power position and thinking good thoughts for two minutes could make you feel better both physically and mentally? 

Since I believe that stress has such a large impact on IBS and Chron’s (note it’s not the cause of it but it can contribute to the discomfort) I wondered if we could actually address our thoughts about IBS in terms of how we hold our body.


If we tried to hold our body in high power positions as Cuddy suggests would help people reduce the stress around the symptoms?

Would that would allow us to live a healthier happy life regardless of symptoms?

Then synchronicity and the universe did its job. I remembered that I had actually tested this theory in my own way. Last week I was coaching someone who was having pelvic pain issues. Though she had recovered from her symptoms, they would still flare up in times of stress or emotional distress. When we began discussing her unhappiness with a social situation she noticed her pelvic pain increased. Upon working with her further she began to recall a time in her childhood when she felt powerless. When we worked through the scenario she realized she was taking on emotional stress that was not her own and began to visualize that stress as a large piece of car metal. She wanted to get rid of this baggage because she knew was adding to her stress. She knew releasing some of the stress would help her pain by she wasn’t sure how to do it.

Here enters the Superhero.

Then I talked to her about invoking her own superpower. I had her imagine herself to be strong and powerful and able to carry that large piece of metal and placed back where it belonged.  When she was able to do this she then began to see herself as bold, invincible, and powerful. That was her Superhero. That was her at her best with no stressful thoughts bringing her body down into a powerless position. Though she still felt a small amount of pain in her pelvis, she felt large enough to go into the social situations as this new person without taking on the stress or anxiety of the situation.

She could be bold, invincible, and powerful by just being herself.

And it all makes perfect sense. That’s how it works when you’re connected to your body and the power within. I call it Superhero, Amy Cuddy calls it power poses, but in the end it’s all about reclaiming your personal power.

To learn more about reclaiming your personal power and living a fuller life despite IBS or Crohn’s check out my e-book Listening to Your Gut: Connect with Your Body and Get IBS Relief

If you’d like to see Amy Cuddy talking about power poses here it is: