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<channel>
	<title>Corinne Gregory</title>
	
	<link>http://corinnegregory.com</link>
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		<title>Teen burning victim Michael Brewer’s assailants get jail</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CorinneGregory/~3/UOA9qBHljNE/</link>
		<comments>http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2012/02/23/teen-burning-victim-michael-brewers-assailants-get-jail/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Feb 2012 02:16:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Corinne Gregory</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Bullying and School Violence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Deerfield Beach Middle School]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michael Brewer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[school violence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[teen burning incident]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[teen lack of accountability]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://corinnegregory.com/?p=1890</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last week, the story from Deerfield Beach, Florida was that two of the three teens accused of setting fellow Deerfield Middle School classmate Michael Brewer on fire received jail time for their deeds. (BTW: in case you didn't know, this is the same school that saw the dreadful beating incident of Josie Lou Ratley by Wayne [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://corinnegregory.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Michael-Brewer-after-perpetrator-sentencing.png"><img class="alignright  wp-image-1892" title="Michael Brewer after perpetrator sentencing" src="http://corinnegregory.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Michael-Brewer-after-perpetrator-sentencing-300x225.png" alt="michael brewer, school violence, Deerfield Beach Middle School" width="234" height="195" /></a>Last week, the story from Deerfield Beach, Florida was that two of the three teens accused of setting fellow Deerfield Middle School classmate Michael Brewer on fire received jail time for their deeds. (BTW: in case you didn't know, this is the same school that saw the <a href="http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2010/05/21/wayne-treacy-explains-his-actions/" target="_blank">dreadful beating incident of Josie Lou Ratley</a> by Wayne Treacy).</p>
<p>In 2009, Michael was set aflame by three of his classmates to the degree that he had to jump in a nearby pool in order to put out the flames. Michael suffered 2nd and 3rd degree burns over nearly 2/3rd of his body.</p>
<p>According to <a href="http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/02/15/2642716/teen-accused-of-setting-classmate.html" target="_blank">the story in the Miami Herald</a>, both teens pled "no contest" which means that they are willing to accept whatever punishment the court hands out, but does not admit guilt.  In addition to the jail time they were sentenced to, the perpetrators were given 18-21 YEARS of community service. When you consider that these young men are themselves 18 and 17 years old, you can see that they will be living with the results of their actions for a very long time.</p>
<p>One point I found troublesome in the article: <span id="more-1890"></span>the young men claimed their actions were not premeditated. Apparently, even the prosecutor conceded this point. I wonder how this can be.   I mean, do teens just walk around with flammable liquids in their pockets routinely just so they can throw that on some unsuspecting teen and then flambe them with their trusty Zippo?  How can a prosecutor say this action was spur-of-the moment? According to the Herald, 17-year old Denver Jarvis doused a "flammable liquid" on Brewer at the command of Matthew Bent (18) who was upset about a $40 debt Michael owed him. The third perpetrator, Jesus Mendez was the one who allegedly teased and taunted Michael with the lighter and ultimately ignited the fire that injured Brewer.</p>
<p>If, as the article suggests, Jarvis told the judge before sentencing that had he known this kind of thing could happen, he would have never participated in harassing Brewer. But, there again, I have to ask: what do you THINK could happen when you are pouring something like the rubbing alcohol supposedly used on a person and tease them with an open flame?  Are our young people growing up with so little reasoning skills that they can't foresee simple cause-and-effect?</p>
<p>If that is true, then in addition to the problems of lack of sensitivity and compassion for others, our youth are growing up without the ability to apply basic reason. I just don't get how these young men couldn't see beyond the immediate "how do we get back $40" to the point where they grievously injured someone and could have, frankly, killed him.</p>
<p>I know there are all types in the world. You have to ask where these kids' parents were in the 15+ years of their lives before they committed this crime. But, given the way our society is going, it's even possible that the best of parents produce children who are completely oblivious to the basics of how we treat one another.</p>
<p>It's one of the reasons bullying and other anti-social behavior is so rampant. Kids just don't "get" why this behavior is unacceptable. Heck, when they see discourteous, rude, crass behavior modeled every day of the year, in our neighborhoods, in our schools, on TV and radio, why wouldn't they think this is all "normal?"</p>
<p>While we blame these three "kids" for behavior that was criminal, maybe we need to take a look, at the same time, at the society that has built them. As I've pointed out in my own presentations and otherwise, these kids weren't model citizens for 14 years, and then suddenly one day decided to set a classmate on fire. I'm sure there were signs; I'm sure there were behavior issues before.  Why we don't work more on prevention rather than consequences is another thing I don't "get."</p>
<p>Bottom line: I think it's appropriate that they received adult sentences for crimes that were of adult proportions. I just don't think they should have been allowed to cop-out on "we didn't mean it." That removes all accountability and responsibility for adult thinking that comes with adult behavior.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p><em>For more about bullying, cyber bullying and school violence, grab your copy of the Amazon Best Seller, "Breaking the Bullying Culture." You can find it here: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Education-Reform-Other-Myths-ebook/dp/B00772XLHS/ref=pd_sim_sbs_kstore_1?ie=UTF8&amp;m=AG56TWVU5XWC2">http://www.amazon.com/Education-Reform-Other-Myths-ebook/dp/B00772XLHS/ref=pd_sim_sbs_kstore_1?ie=UTF8&amp;m=AG56TWVU5XWC2</a></em></p>
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		<title>“Breaking the Bullying Culture” is Amazon Best-Seller!</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CorinneGregory/~3/uBmprDl7c_4/</link>
		<comments>http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2012/02/21/breaking-the-bullying-culture-is-amazon-best-seller/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 Feb 2012 17:20:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Corinne Gregory</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Bullying and School Violence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Amazon best seller]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anti-bullying]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bullying]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bullying policy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bullying solutions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cyber bullying]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://corinnegregory.com/?p=1885</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last week I announced that my latest book in the "Education Reform and Other Myths" series was published and available.  Now, a week later, I'm excited to share that "Breaking the Bullying Culture" has become an Amazon #1 best seller in the category of Education Public Policy! Today, you can get your copy of "Breaking [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Last week I announced that my latest book in the "Education Reform and Other Myths" series was published and available.  Now, a week later, I'm excited to share that "Breaking the Bullying Culture" has become an Amazon #1 best seller in the category of Education Public Policy!</p>
<p>Today, you can get your copy of "Breaking the Bullying Culture" for free on Amazon Kindle. Visit the link below to take advantage of the offer.</p>
<p>Of course, if you are an Amazon Prime member, you can get your copy for free anytime -- and you can "borrow" it just like from a library.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Education-Reform-Other-Myths-ebook/dp/B00772XLHS/ref=pd_rhf_dp_p_t_1">http://www.amazon.com/Education-Reform-Other-Myths-ebook/dp/B00772XLHS/ref=pd_rhf_dp_p_t_1</a></p>
<p>Thanks to all of you who have helped make this book #1! I'm looking forward to hearing your feedback and reading your reviews. I hope this helps those of you who are concerned about the problem of bullying in our schools and communities!</p>
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		<item>
		<title>ebook “Breaking the Bullying Culture” is available now!</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CorinneGregory/~3/_3drUTJnyCU/</link>
		<comments>http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2012/02/09/ebook-breaking-the-bullying-culture-is-available-now/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:29:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Corinne Gregory</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Bullying and School Violence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anti-bullying]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bullycide]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bullying]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bullying in schools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cyber bullying]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[solving the bullying problem]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://corinnegregory.com/?p=1866</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Right on the heels of the announcement of the general availability of first book in the "Education Reform and Other Myths" series, now I'm happy to announce that the long-awaited second book is ready on Amazon for Kindle. "Breaking the Bullying Culture" continues the discussion initiated in the first "Education Reform" book ("The Stumbling Blocks [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Right on the heels of the announcement of the general availability of first book in the "Education Reform and Other Myths" series, now I'm happy to announce that the long-awaited second book is ready on Amazon for Kindle.</p>
<p>"Breaking the Bullying Culture" continues the discussion initiated in the first "Education Reform" book ("<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Education-Reform-Other-Myths-ebook/dp/B0071NAX2O/ref=pd_rhf_dp_p_t_2" target="_blank">The Stumbling Blocks in the System and How to Fix Them</a>") by turning the focus on bullying and school violence.</p>
<p>This book offers an in-depth look at the bullying epidemic, providing details about <strong>how extensive the<a href="http://corinnegregory.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/flat2.jpg"><img class="alignright  wp-image-1868" title="ebook &quot;Breaking the Bullying Culture&quot;" src="http://corinnegregory.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/flat2-231x300.jpg" alt="" width="194" height="229" /></a> problem really is</strong>, <strong>what is being done about it</strong>, what <strong>doesn't work</strong> and why, and<strong> what <em>will</em> work</strong> to stop it.  Recent high-profile and lesser-known incidents are covered, and there is substantial information about <strong>traditional bullying as well as cyber bullying</strong>, including an essay by the renowned Information Security Strategist Christopher Burgess on bullycide in America.</p>
<p>"Breaking the Bullying Culture" is <strong>now available for purchase</strong> and is also available through Kindle's <strong>lending program for free</strong>. It's my sincere hope that readers will find this a helpful resource in their efforts to end bullying in our schools and community. Every child deserves to be safe and secure and it IS within our means to make that happen!</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>Announcing new ebook available on Education Reform</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CorinneGregory/~3/3jGiGddh318/</link>
		<comments>http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2012/01/26/announcing-new-ebook-available-on-education-reform/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 26 Jan 2012 15:26:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Corinne Gregory</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Education Reform]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[classroom management]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lack of education funding]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[solutions for education problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[speaker for education]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://corinnegregory.com/?p=1842</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I thought I'd share some exciting news with you.  I've begun a new series of books exploring tough topics in education and suggesting real, practical ways for solving them. The series is entitled "Education Reform and Other Myths" and the first book in the series "Examining the Stumbling Blocks in our System and What to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I thought I'd share some exciting news with you.  I've begun a new series of books exploring tough topics in education and suggesting real, practical ways for solving them. The series is entitled "Education Reform and Other Myths" and the first book in the series "Examining the Stumbling Blocks in our System and What to Do About Them" is available TODAY on Amazon Kindle.  <a href="http://corinnegregory.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/flat1.jpg"><img class="alignright  wp-image-1843" style="margin: 3px;" title="Education Reform &amp; Other Myths: Stumbling blocks in the system and solutions" src="http://corinnegregory.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/flat1-231x300.jpg" alt="Education Reform Myths Stumbling blocks in the system and solutions" width="207" height="243" /></a></p>
<p>Through Amazon Kindle, you also have the opportunity to participate in their lending library -- I'm really excited about that part, although it's only going to be available for the first 90 days of the book's Kindle publication.</p>
<p>To check it out for yourself, visit <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0071NAX2O">http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0071NAX2O</a></p>
<p>I'm eager to see what you think of it. For <strong>the first 25 people who read this book and write a review</strong> of it, I'll <strong>give you a copy of the next book in the series "Breaking the Bully Culture" for FREE</strong>.  Drop me an email when your review is posted and I'll put you on the list to get your complimentary copy of "Breaking the Bully Cycle!"</p>
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		<title>Evaluating the “content of our character”</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CorinneGregory/~3/2KlH0-YfkOQ/</link>
		<comments>http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2012/01/16/evaluating-the-content-of-our-character/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 16 Jan 2012 17:18:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Corinne Gregory</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Social Skills and Character]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[character]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Character Counts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Compassion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Martin Luther King Jr.]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[speaker for respect]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://corinnegregory.com/?p=1498</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Many of us know the epic words of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s famous "I have a dream..." speech.  It's probably the most famous of the many he made on the topic of civil rights and equality, and it's the one most frequently shown on media clips.  Most people know the "I have a dream..." part [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://corinnegregory.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Martin-Luther-King-dream-content-of-character.jpg"><img class="alignleft  wp-image-1501" style="margin: 3px;" title="Martin Luther King dream content of character" src="http://corinnegregory.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Martin-Luther-King-dream-content-of-character-300x212.jpg" alt="Martin Luther King speech dream content of character" width="198" height="150" /></a><strong>Many of us know the epic words of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s famous "I have a dream..." speech</strong>.  It's probably the most famous of the many he made on the topic of civil rights and equality, and it's the one most frequently shown on media clips.  Most people know the "I have a dream..." part of the speech, but <strong>how many really know what comes after the popular soundbyte</strong>?  I think, today, on the day we remember him, it's appropriate that we stop and consider the message he shared.</p>
<blockquote>
<div>I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.</div>
</blockquote>
<p>Hopefully, we have made progress in judging based on color of skin -- although one could certainly argue that we are often as polarized by race today as we were nearly 50 years ago (but that's a topic best left for another day).</p>
<p>But,<strong> let's analyze the second part</strong>. If we are to be judged by the "content of [our] character," what does that mean for us today?  I think it's interesting to consider what Dr. King would see, were he alive today. <strong>What has happened to our individual</strong> -- not to mention, collective -- <strong>character</strong>?<span id="more-1498"></span></p>
<p>Not a day goes by where we don't hear of some scandal in the media -- sports heroes and political leaders are caught in flagrantly adulterous relationships; business leaders lie, cheat and steal their way to prosperity on the backs of unsuspecting victims. Our entitlement mentality has blossomed to such a point that for many, it's easier and preferable to remain on the government dole than it is to take any job that is offered to them.  We criticize our legislators, but then fail to let our voices and votes be heard when it's time to elect new representation.</p>
<p>Again, as I write this, I realize that not everyone falls into this general mold. But, in today's culture, self-centeredness and selfishness is more the rule than the exception. <strong>"Character" is less valued today than it was in Dr. King's era</strong>, yet should be even more important now than ever.  As we become more global, more diverse as a society and marketplace, it's increasingly important that there is some common ground where we can come together. Core principles such as mutual respect, consideration, empathy, compassion are those values that should guide us all and connect us when cultures and experiences don't.  "<strong>Treating others the way we want to be treated" really isn't such a hard concept</strong> to understand; why is it so difficult, then, to practice?  <strong>If we placed as much value in our moral account than we do in our bank accounts, our world would be a much different and happier place</strong>.</p>
<p>I've been accused of having a "Pollyanna" outlook on life before, but truly I understand how challenging it is to do right.  It's not so much that I'm unrealistic or idealistic; I choose to believe in, and campaign for, the best in people.  It's what motivates me to speak to groups on the importance of positive social skills and character, to consult with schools and business professionals on effective "SocialSmarts." <strong>I want people to rise out of the status quo and push themselves to be kinder, be more considerate and treat others like they matter</strong>. If I didn't think it could be done, I would have given up long ago, but I've seen enough change in those I've had the pleasure to work with that I know we have a chance.</p>
<p>Dr. King dedicated his work -- and his life -- to trying to change the world.  While we ourselves may not have the chance to make the same sort of national or global impact, <strong>we do have the ability to make smaller, but no less significant impacts in our families and communities</strong>. If just a few people would return to a place where character mattered, over time that would influence others.</p>
<p>It's great that we have seen fit to honor Dr. King and his message by establishing a holiday in his memory. But, rather than just celebrate his mission and memory by hosting parades once a year, we'd do better by practicing and living the principles he preached.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p><em>Did you find this post interesting? Find more content on character and positive social skills by purchasing the Kindle version of "It's Not Who You Know, It's How You Treat Them" at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Know-Treat-Them-ebook/dp/B005XARZW8/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1326733846&amp;sr=1-2">http://www.amazon.com/Its-Know-Treat-Them-ebook/dp/B005XARZW8/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1326733846&amp;sr=1-2</a></em></p>
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		<title>Corinne’s Top 10 Posts of 2011</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CorinneGregory/~3/YWLkIqREFC4/</link>
		<comments>http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2012/01/05/corinnes-top-10-posts-of-2011/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 Jan 2012 19:02:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Corinne Gregory</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Current Events]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[2011 Top Ten Blog Posts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bullying]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[business]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[media resource for civility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rotary 4-Way Test]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://corinnegregory.com/?p=1483</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I guess I have succumbed to the popular tendency to look back at the year just past and create a "top 10" list.  I did this in 2011, when I did a review of my top 10 after I reached 100 posts. It turned out to be popular, so maybe I'll make it a regular [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I<a href="http://corinnegregory.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Corinne-Gregorys-Top-10-Blogs-of-2011.jpg"><img class="wp-image-1485 alignleft" style="margin: 3px;" title="Corinne Gregory's Top 10 Posts of 2011" src="http://corinnegregory.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Corinne-Gregorys-Top-10-Blogs-of-2011-300x266.jpg" alt="Top 10 posts on business success, education, civility" width="220" height="189" /></a> guess I have succumbed to the popular tendency to look back at the year just past and create a "top 10" list.  I did this in 2011, when I did a review of my top 10 after I reached 100 posts. It turned out to be popular, so maybe I'll make it a regular thing.</p>
<p>What's interesting to me is that the "Top 10" of my posts<strong> turned out differently</strong> from what I expected.  I was SURE that the piece "<a href="http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2011/02/02/to-end-bullying-requires-a-cultural-change/" target="_blank">To End Bullying Requires a Cultural Change</a>" would be in the #1 position. But, it appeared third on the list and not even CLOSE in readership to posts #1 and #2.</p>
<p>Without further ado, <strong>here's the list of Top 10</strong> -- for those of you who are regular followers, I'd love to hear what you think about this list and are there any that surprise you...or would you recommend any that should have made the list?</p>
<ol>
<li><a href="http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2011/04/05/character-and-the-iceberg/" target="_blank">Leadership and the Iceberg</a></li>
<li><a href="http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2011/06/04/change-requires-doing-something-different/" target="_blank">“Change” requires DOING something different</a></li>
<li><a href="http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2011/02/02/to-end-bullying-requires-a-cultural-change/" target="_blank">To end bullying requires a cultural change</a></li>
<li><a href="http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2011/02/02/to-end-bullying-requires-a-cultural-change/" target="_blank">Got the back to school blues</a></li>
<li><a href="http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2011/07/17/rotary-4-way-test-dont-just-recite-it-live-it/" target="_blank">Rotary 4-Way Test: Don’t just recite it — live it</a></li>
<li><a href="http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2010/07/02/bullying-in-the-movies/" target="_blank">Bullying in the movies</a></li>
<li><a href="http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2009/09/19/what-if-schools-were-run-like-a-business/" target="_blank">What if schools were run like a business?</a></li>
<li><a href="http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2011/05/16/congress-must-pass-law-to-prevent-teenage-bullying-in-school-say-what/" target="_blank">“Congress Must Pass Law to Prevent Teenage Bullying in School” – Say WHAT??</a></li>
<li><a href="http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2011/02/07/academics-social-skills-better-results/" target="_blank">Academics + Social Skills = Better Results</a></li>
<li><a href="http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2011/06/27/how-would-you-like-to-be-remembered/" target="_blank">How would YOU like to be remembered?</a></li>
</ol>
<p style="text-align: center;">---</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><em>Corinne Gregory is an author, speaker, and frequent media resource on all things related to social skills, civility, positive character and how that relates to education and business. <a href="mailto:corinne@corinnegregory.com" target="_blank">Invite her as a speaker or coach </a>to your event or for your organization and see how "SocialSmarts" leads to better success.</em></p>
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		<title>Success strategies: Changing is hard — but “change” doesn’t have to be</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CorinneGregory/~3/lj-X8ZxS3iU/</link>
		<comments>http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2012/01/03/success-strategies-changing-is-hard-but-change-doesnt-have-to-be/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:15:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Corinne Gregory</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Social Skills and Character]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[achieve business success]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Air Supply]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Axl Rose]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[change in behavior]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Craig Duswalt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guns n Roses]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[New Year's Resolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[positive change]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://corinnegregory.com/?p=1469</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Craig Duswalt, who toured with Air Supply and was the former manager of Guns &#38; Roses' Axl Rose, once shared the following story with me at one of his Rockstar System for Success bootcamps which he conducts twice a year. The significance of the story was not lost on me and made its point very [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Craig Duswalt, who toured with Air Supply and was the former manager of Guns &amp; Roses' Axl Rose, once shared the following story with me at one of his <a href="http://www.craigduswalt.com/" target="_blank">Rockstar System for Success </a>bootcamps which he conducts twice a year. The significance of the story was not lost on me and made its point very quickly -- see if it does the same for you:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><a href="http://corinnegregory.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Successful-change-is-more-than-this-year-I-will-do-it.jpg"><img class="alignright  wp-image-1471" style="margin: 3px;" title="Successful change is more than this year I will do it" src="http://corinnegregory.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Successful-change-is-more-than-this-year-I-will-do-it.jpg" alt="change is hard how to succeed" width="200" height="200" /></a>A [2006] medical study reveals just how difficult change is for people. Roughly 600,000 people have heart bypasses each year in America.  These people are told that, after their bypass surgery, they must change their lifestyle. The surgery they are having is just a temporary fix.  In order to live productive lives after the surgery, they will need to change their diet. They have to quit smoking and drinking.  They must exercise regularly and lower their stress. Essentially, what the doctors are telling them is, "Change or die."</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Now, you'd think that having a near-death experience would get patients' attention. You'd think they would be all for any change that kept them from this experience again. You'd think this "change or die" message would be so compelling that they would make whatever change was necessary to get them healthy.  Unfortunately, this is not the case.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">90% of these heart patients do not change. They remain the same, living their same status quo lives.  Repeated studies show that two years after their surgery, these patients have not altered their behavior. Instead of making changes for health, they choose death. For them, change is <em>that</em> difficult. Rather than make the changes that promote life, they continue on the path toward death.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>The moral of this story is obvious, but amazing: <strong>change is hard</strong>.  The "difficulty" of change overcomes<em> the benefits of that change</em>.</p>
<p>What does this mean for us?  The New Year is traditionally a time where we all make promises to ourselves -- and sometimes others -- that we are going to make changes in our lives.  Whether it's to lose weight, eat less/exercise more, stop smoking, stop drinking, spend more time with family instead of late nights at your desk, make more money, get more clients...whatever it is...we start the year out saying to ourselves, "This is it, Bullwinkle! This time I'll really change!"</p>
<p>Yeah, right?  If 90% of heart patients don't change their lifestyle after being told<em> they must do it to live</em>, how likely is it that <em>we</em> will be able to fulfill our plans for change when it's not life-or-death?</p>
<p>The odds don't look very good from that perspective, do they?</p>
<p>But, there is good news here, really.  Tony Robbins once explained how change happens. Essentially, we keep doing something over and over again because, on some level, it works for us.  For example, say we are addicted to junk food. We keep eating junk food, even when we know it's bad for us, because the pleasure of eating it outweighs (no pun intended) the negative effects -- weight gain, poor health, cavities from excess sugar, etc. It's the "pain vs. pleasure" scenario.  If, at some point, "pain" (or negative effects) outweigh the "pleasure" point, that's when we decide to change.  We hit a tipping point where we just can't stand how flabby we have become, or a child says to grandpa or grandma that they don't want a kiss because they stink from cigarettes. Something really hits us that says, "I'm not going to do this anymore."</p>
<p>Everyone's "pain threshold" is different and individual, however. It might take one person who gets a hangover after over-indulging alcohol to decide to stop drinking, while someone else's DUI arrest isn't enough to spark the change. And, once that point is reached, just making the commitment to change isn't always sufficient to keep it going. There must be a new "win" from the change that keeps reinforcing that change -- a new pleasure.</p>
<p>So, let's say that you have decided, like so many out there, to exercise regularly to get into shape and lose weight. What typically happens? You get a gym membership, hit the weights or the aerobics daily at first. You get up the next day and what...your muscles are SORE.  Parts of your anatomy you didn't even knew existed are screaming!  And, that pain registers in your brain as a negative. You decide to take a few days off, but get back into it. Again, more soreness..more pain. You decide to take it a bit easier. Then, after a month of this kind of cycle, you decide that, overall, this isn't worth it. Not only did this hurt, but it cost you time, it may have cost you money...and <em>you've seen no improvement</em> in your shape, your condition, or your weight!  It's not worth it, right? Negative, negative, negative.  And then the worst...there's more negative because, once again, you've failed in your resolution to get healthier.</p>
<p>Sound familiar? We've ALL been there.</p>
<p>What, then, can we do to see success in change rather than failure, you ask?  Actually, it's really not all that hard. Let's explore how to make change stick.<span id="more-1469"></span></p>
<ul>
<li><strong>First, be reasonable in the change you desire</strong></li>
</ul>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">There are "better" types of goals than others.  For example, if I decided I wanted to be 5'6" tall, that is completely unrealistic (impossible, in fact, as I'm 5'3"!) That's not a goal I can achieve no matter what I do. What if you decide you want to make a million dollars by the end of this year.  Is <em>that</em> reasonable?  Well, it depends. Assess where you are now.  If your path to the million is to self-publish a book, and sell it for $10 a piece, you have to sell 100,000 of those books in order to make your million. Is that reasonable? It might be, depending on your outlet and distribution opportunities.  Now, say you have this book, but also do professional speaking promoting your message. Say you charge $1000 per speaking engagement. You now have to only "sell" 10,000 "units" of your product (your speech) to make your million in a year. Oh, but since you'll also likely sell books at your speeches, maybe you only have to give 9,000 speeches because you'll make up the rest in book sales. BUT, now think if you "sold" coaching to your clients at $10,000 a "program," you only have to have 100 of those clients in order to reach your goal of $1M a year.</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Next, set realistic goals.</strong></li>
</ul>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">In the example above, maybe, after you've looked at the numbers, making a million dollars in the first year isn't realistic.  I mean, you might be able to get 100 new clients for your coaching program, but is it likely you can do that, particularly at the beginning?  No, not really. You might not even have the bandwidth to get those 100 clients.  Maybe you need to lower your initial goals and say you'll shoot for 20 clients this year and maybe that will allow you to hire an assistant who can offload some of your other work so that next year you can focus on new coaching clients and maybe increase them to 50 a year.</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Now, start the new activities you'll need to realize those initial goals</strong></li>
</ul>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">In the $1M example, once you're set those goals you'll pursue initially, start taking the action that will get you to those goals.  If you are looking for more clients, how will you get them? Maybe you have to join a trade association. Perhaps you'll get the clients through networking -- make your list and start "connecting." Perhaps you'll have to change a negative behavior -- stop wasting so much time playing "Angry Birds" -- so that you have more time to do the things that you need to do to reach your goals. Whatever it is, take a step. In spite of what you hear in so many "self-help" books, "change" doesn't occur merely by sitting in your living room visualizing a million dollars. You can visualize, but you must take action.</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>When you have taken action, reward yourself for the change</strong></li>
</ul>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">To replace the earlier "pleasure" you got from the undesired tendency or habit you used to have, give yourself a pleasurable reward when you have done the positive thing you are looking to do. When you get a new client, reward yourself with a movie, for example. If you have lost 5 lbs on your new diet, maybe go out shopping for a new sweater (food, by the way, is a powerful, but not also advisable reward!)  With each accomplishment, give yourself a figurative "pat on the back" in the way of a reward.  Remember human psychology 101: we are more likely to be motivated by positive recognition for positive behavior. Give yourself the positive reinforcement of your new behavior that will motivate you to continue.</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Finally, don't give up if things aren't happening right away</strong></li>
</ul>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Sociologists will tell you that it takes 8 new "actions" for every iteration of an old action that we want to change.  What that means is, the more entrenched and "normal" our previous behaviors are, the longer it takes to change them. This is why we tend to give up too quickly when making life changes: we don't see immediate results. We don't get the six-pack from our crunches right away so we decide these exercises aren't working for us.  We haven't lost the urge to smoke after 3 weeks so we give in -- then decide we're a failure and we're right back into two packs a day.  We haven't made $.3M by April, so we decide there's no way we're going to hit our target of $1M by December. So we quit. And, often that "pain" threshold where we give up is just at that point where we are about to make a breakthrough...</p>
<p>Remember the point at the beginning where 90% of the people told they must make changes or die didn't do it? You have to decide if you want to be in the 90% of those who can't -- or won't -- or if the change you are looking for is important enough to you to commit to the discomfort of making the change.  If so, then set yourself up for success by making a plan for the changes you want to make, work the plan, then celebrate your little successes.</p>
<p>Yes, I know, change is hard. But, if it were easy, anyone can do it. How 'bout you? Will you be in the 10% that does -- that's up to you!</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">---</p>
<p><em>- Corinne Gregory is a motivational speaker covering topics of social skills and personal/professional success and the author of "<a href="http://www.itsnotwhoyouknowitshowyoutreatthem.com" target="_blank">It's Not Who You Know, It's How You Treat Them</a>." To book her for your group or for individual coaching, drop her an email at <a href="mailto:corinne@corinnegregory.com">corinne@corinnegregory.com</a></em></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>How to become the most interesting — and successful — business person around</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CorinneGregory/~3/RDc5rvuh4ek/</link>
		<comments>http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2011/12/16/how-to-become-the-most-interesting-and-successful-business-person-around/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Dec 2011 01:44:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Corinne Gregory</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Business and Sales]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[being memorable]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[business networking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[business success]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[effective business communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[increased sales]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://corinnegregory.com/?p=1462</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We are all fighting for attention these days.  There are distractions galore, from technology, to business strategy, to the economy. Content and information flies at us faster and faster and sometimes it leaves us feeling trapped like the proverbial bug in a jar. We want to reach out, connect with people and be memorable so [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>We are all fighting for attention these days.  There are distractions galore, from technology, to business strategy, to the economy. Content and information flies at us faster and faster and sometimes it leaves us feeling trapped like the proverbial bug in a jar. We want to reach out, connect with people and be memorable so that they have a reason to get back in touch. But, when everyone is competing for the same thing, how do YOU stand out?</p>
<p><a href="http://corinnegregory.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Business-success-starts-with-conversation.gif"><img class="alignleft  wp-image-1463" style="margin: 3px;" title="Business success starts with conversation" src="http://corinnegregory.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Business-success-starts-with-conversation-300x232.gif" alt="business success, networking, conversation" width="214" height="163" /></a>You have to have a compelling presence. Something that helps you stand out.</p>
<p>Well and good...but how?  "What do I say," you think. "What do I DO that really separates me from everyone else?"</p>
<p>Oh, here's the trick...it's not about what YOU say, but it is all about what you do...</p>
<p>Listen. No, I mean "listen." That's what you do.  It's a well-known fact the people find those people most interesting who don't talk so much about themselves, but keep <em>other</em> people talking about themselves. Becoming a top conversationalist is more about learning how to make and keep other people talking. And, that involves listening. Really listening, not just going through the motions and saying, "uh, huh" and "oh, yeah" at regular intervals to make it seem like we are paying attention, when, in fact, we are desperately trying to look engaged while we subtly plan our exit strategy.</p>
<p>When you get people talking,  you open communication and keep that channel open.  With every minute that goes by, you are forging a tighter bond.  And, you seem to be an interesting person because YOU are interested in them. So, to that end, for those of you who aren't sure what the steps are to become a fabulously interesting listener, I offer this:<span id="more-1462"></span></p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Connect and pay attention</strong>. First, when in conversation with others, make eye contact.  When you are looking directly at people, it shows them that you are focused on them, actively engaged in what they are saying.  Now, this doesn't mean you have to stare at them continuously like a psychopath, but you do need to focus on them and their words. When you scan a room or look past someone, it gives the message that you don't really care what is being said. Great "connectors" stay connected with their conversation partners.</li>
<li><strong>Ask open-ended questions</strong>. There's nothing that kills a conversation faster than a series of questions that can be answered by "yes" or "no." Open-ended questions lead to answers that better allow you to keep the conversation flowing. For example, instead of asking "Is this your first time here?" you might want to ask "So, what brings you here today?" See how the latter answer can lead you to a follow on question?  If the response is, "well, this is my first time here and I wanted to see what it was about" you could ask something such as "How did you hear about this &lt;group/get-together/place?&gt;" Again, your follow-up question can lead to another, and so on.</li>
<li><strong>Listen for keywords</strong>. Now, when you are listening to the answer to the open-ended question, see if you can pick up on any words that can lead you to transition to another related topic. For example, if you hear something in the answer about seeing an announcement for the event in an Association calendar, you might ask how long the person has been involved in that particular association.</li>
<li><strong>Find common ground through listening for linkages</strong>. It's particularly helpful if some of those keywords you hear have to do with something YOU can relate to.  You can use that to connect your experiences to that of your conversation partner.  For example, the other day I was in an unfamiliar city and I happened to be in a group where I noticed one of the gentleman was wearing a Rotary pin. When there was a break in the conversation I was able to ask him not, "Are you a Rotarian?" (dead-end question) but instead, "Oh, I see you are a Rotarian...which Club do you belong to?" When he mentioned the club, I was able to say that while I had never attended HIS particular club, I had attended a nearby club as a speaker (which I was able to name). Well, guess what happens? I get invited to HIS club to be a speaker! And, I can not only share my message but also offer my book for sale and it turns into workshop opportunities. All because I was able to use "common linkage" by relating my experiences back to that of my conversation partner.</li>
<li><strong>Reflect back what people say</strong>. One effective technique for ensuring that you are actively listening is to mirror back what you've heard. One way to do it without seeming like Polly the Parrot is to start your mirroring sentence with "You mean to say that..." or "What you're telling me is..." If someone says something outrageous, you can say, "I can't believe they would..." The great news about these lead-ins is that you don't have to even say whether you are agreeing with a point or not, which is VERY useful when discussing potentially controversial subjects. You are merely mirroring back what the other person said and they can reach their own conclusions as to your position.  Handy when you need to be diplomatic.</li>
<li><strong>Find or make an opportunity to follow up</strong>. If you goal in having this conversation is to further a business or personal discussion, ask (after a suitable time) how you might contact that person for a follow-up discussion or to get into greater detail on the topic with them. This is the time to ask for a business card or other contact details. But, link it to the conversation you've just had. You might say, "You know, this topic really is very interesting to me and I don't think this is the best time/place to really get into this. Would it be ok if I contacted you soon to arrange for a time to explore more?" Then, within a few short days or another reasonable interval, do the follow up and remind your partner of your conversation and agreement to reconnect.</li>
<li><strong>Be your authentic self.</strong> You have to be genuinely interested in people and in what they have to say for any of this to work.  Most people's "phony radar" is finely tuned and if you are just agreeing with everything your conversation partner is saying, well, you're going to seem like you are just sucking up or manipulating them. If you are just jockeying for a connection or position, it'll be noticeable and you might be labelled as "shallow" or a "player."</li>
</ol>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>One other tip I offer my clients: if  you are uncomfortable starting or keeping a conversation going with people you don't know, practice with people you DO know.  You can even let them know you are practicing. I also recommend making a list of good, neutral, but compelling one-line conversation starters. Practice using those whenever you can and you'll be surprised how quickly you become the most interesting person in your business niche!</p>
<p>---</p>
<p><em>Like what you have read here and <a href="http://ItsNotWhoYouKnowItsHowYouTreatThem.com" target="_blank">want to learn more</a>? There's much more on business conversation, "magic glue" and other valuable tips and techniques in my latest book -- if you <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005XARZW8/ref=tag_dpp_yt_edpp_rt?_encoding=UTF8&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;amp%3Bs=books%23tags" target="_blank">order it from Amazon</a>, you can be reading it on Kindle in minutes.</em></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>Rules SHOULD provide boundaries for all</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CorinneGregory/~3/TdxbY8MGlKs/</link>
		<comments>http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2011/12/12/rules-should-provide-boundaries-for-all/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 Dec 2011 01:43:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Corinne Gregory</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Social Skills and Character]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[30 Rock]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alec Baldwin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[American Airlines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[celebrities behaving badly]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lindsay Lohan]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Last week, Alec Baldwin discovered that celebrity doesn't count when you interfere with an airlines' rules. The "30Rock" star and actor discovered that he was subject to the same policy that applies to other passengers. Because of his failure to comply with the directions of airline crew, he was removed from an American Airlines flight. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="mceTemp"><a href="http://corinnegregory.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Alec-Baldwin-Breaking-Rules1.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-1452" style="margin: 3px;" title="Alec Baldwin Breaking Rules" src="http://corinnegregory.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Alec-Baldwin-Breaking-Rules1.jpg" alt="Alec Baldwin celebrities breaking rules" width="120" height="190" /></a>Last week, Alec Baldwin discovered that celebrity doesn't count when you interfere with an airlines' rules. The "30Rock" star and actor discovered that he was subject to the same policy that applies to other passengers. Because of his failure to comply with the directions of airline crew, he was removed from an American Airlines flight.</div>
<p>American Airlines said its flight attendants followed federal safety regulations regarding electronic devices.</p>
<p>"He loves [the online game] 'Words with Friends' so much that he was willing to leave a plane for it," the actor's spokesman, Matthew Hiltzik said.</p>
<p>Personally, I have no problem if he wants to continue playing the game -- provided he leaves the plane.  That wasn't the case, however. Mr. Baldwin had no intention of leaving the plane to continue playing...he got upset and even locked himself into the lavatory, spewing irate phrases at flight attendants, according to reports.</p>
<p>So, now Mr. Baldwin is ticked off at an airline that merely expected him to follow the same rules that apply to ordinary non-celebrity passengers. For myself, I applaud the airlines.  I'm tired of "status" being the determining factor on whether or not rules apply.</p>
<p>There are so many examples of special treatment when it comes to celebrity -- <span id="more-1440"></span>Lindsay Lohan is one recent (and continual) example. I mean, the girl does 25 seconds of jail time for her repeated violations of DUI/probation/community service. There's no meat to her punishment and so her bad-girl behavior goes on and on. In some cases, violating rules meant for our protection can not only be harmful, it can be deadly. Michael Jackson was able to use privately drugs that normal individuals would never have access to...and that ultimately led to his death.</p>
<p>The point is, generally speaking, rules are there for a reason (ok, don't get on me about the DUMB rules, of which there certainly are many). But, if it is a "rule" then that boundary should apply to everyone, not just the "ordinary" and "un-special" ones. Celebrity, money and status shouldn't buy your way out of a law or rule, particularly if it exists for safety of others. Sure, if you are a big deal celeb, and you want to do something stupid that doesn't affect others...well, fine. But, truly, most things DO affect others and you should not be exempt from those boundaries and consequences for violating them just 'cause you're "all that."</p>
<p>In the case of Mr. Baldwin, he has now promised that he will never fly American Airlines again because of their treatment of him. But, that's ok. I'll feel safer knowing that there's one airline that won't bend their safety rules for one celeb's overblown sense of self and entitlement. I'm sure he'd expect me to obey the rules; I expect nothing less from him.</p>
<p><em>Interested in more? You might want to check out <a href="http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2011/03/08/the-perils-of-rewarding-bad-behavior/">http://corinnegregory.com/blog/2011/03/08/the-perils-of-rewarding-bad-behavior/</a></em></p>
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		<title>Plenty of money for studies; why not for solutions?</title>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Dec 2011 19:08:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Corinne Gregory</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Education Policy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[analysis paralysis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bullying]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dept of Ed]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[no money for solutions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[none for solutions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[phyiscal education]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[I am really amazed how every day there's another headline in the education media about some study examining this-or-such issue.  Today from EducationWeek alone: Study: Phys. Ed., Recess Mandates Boost School Physical-Activity Time Study Tallies a District's Return on Investment Poor Schools Found to Get Shortchanged Study Finds Only 13 State Laws Address Off-Campus Bullying A new [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>I am really amazed how every day there's another headline in the education media about some study examining this-or-such issue</strong>.  Today from EducationWeek alone:<a href="http://corinnegregory.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/MoneyDowntheToilet.jpg"><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-1435" title="No money for solutions, money for research, analysis paralysis" src="http://corinnegregory.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/MoneyDowntheToilet.jpg" alt="Ample money for reasearch, none for solutions" width="248" height="206" /></a></p>
<ul>
<li>Study: Phys. Ed., Recess Mandates Boost School Physical-Activity Time</li>
<li>Study Tallies a District's Return on Investment</li>
<li>Poor Schools Found to Get Shortchanged</li>
<li>Study Finds Only 13 State Laws Address Off-Campus Bullying</li>
<li>A new study takes a close look at how Hispanic students in urban school systems are faring compared with their non-Hispanic white peers</li>
</ul>
<p>...and many more articles that reference studies.</p>
<p><strong>These studies all cost money</strong>.  So, at a time where we continually hear how strapped education is for funds, where are the funds for these studies coming from?</p>
<p>Well, from various sources.  Independent monies, foundations, universities and colleges. From the government; the US Department of Education is a big supporter, both financially and otherwise, of studies. Special interest groups also have a vested interest in many of these studies, both in terms of financial support and otherwise. Money seems to flow in from the four corners when there's a study to be funded!</p>
<p><strong>The irony is that, while there's apparently always money to fund a study</strong>, actually doing something about the problem or situation being studied isn't quite as easy. Take for example:</p>
<ul>
<li>"<strong>Funding a Problem for Va. Virtual Schools</strong>"</li>
</ul>
<p>So we have a study to explore the issue of funding for these virtual schools. Conclusion: funding for the actual schools is a problem, but funding for the study apparently wasn't. This study was conducted by the Thomas Jefferson Institute for Public Policy, listed as "a Virginia-based nonpartisan research group."</p>
<p><strong>Moreover, I find that frequently the conclusions published in the study are something we pretty much already knew</strong>.  Perhaps we didn't know the exact number or percentage, but we already had a good handle on the issue to be studied.</p>
<p>Here are a couple that should be interesting:</p>
<div>
<p id="page-title">"<strong>Substance Abuse Greater Problem Among Rural Youth</strong>" (Nov 30, 2011)</p>
</div>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><strong>Conclusion</strong>: Substance abuse is a bigger problem among rural youth than among their non-rural peers, with rural teens having higher rates of alcohol consumption and usage of drugs such as cocaine, marijuana, and heroin. And that problem is influenced in part by rural communities limited expectations for students' futures, according to a new study.</p>
<p>Well, we probably could have predicted that, right? When you have lowered expectations for your future, what else is there to do but escape through drugs and alcohol?</p>
<p>"<strong>Youth Soccer 'Headers' May Lead to Brain Injuries, Study Suggests</strong>" (November 29, 2011)</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><strong>Conclusion</strong>: Athletes who often "head" soccer balls were found to have brain abnormalities similar to those found in patients with traumatic brain injuries (TBIs), according to a <a href="http://www.rsna.org/media/pressreleases/PDF/pressreleasePDF.cfm?ID=564">study</a> being presented today at the annual meeting of the Radiological Society of North America.</p>
<p>My goodness, that came out of left-field (to mix my sports-related metaphors)! When we are coached by pediatricians and other experts that we need to take any bump on the head that our kids experience as potentially serious, why in heck are we now teaching them the fine art of "headers" in soccer?  I guess deliberately hitting the ball with your head is less risky than an accidental blow to the head by a ball?</p>
<p>I liken these kinds of studies to the government-mandated label on the jar of peanuts that says: "Caution: May contain peanuts."  Really?</p>
<p><strong>But, then there are the ones that REALLY get to me</strong>, because I wonder how much better it would have been if the money that went into the study actually was allocated to solutions.  Here's one recent headline that got me riled:</p>
<p>"<strong>Bullying Climate Linked to Lower Test Scores, Study Suggests</strong>" (August 12, 2011)</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><strong>Conclusion</strong>: Bullying can affect a student's academic performance, but a school's bullying climate may be linked with lower overall test scores, a study finds.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">The <a href="http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2011/08/bullying-test.aspx" target=" blank">study</a>, presented recently at the American Psychological Assn.'s recent annual convention in Washington, D.C., <span id="more-1421"></span>surveyed 7,304 ninth-grade students and 2,918 teachers who were randomly chosen from 284 high schools in Virginia. Students and teachers were asked about incidents of bullying and teasing at the school. Ninth-grade students were chosen because researchers felt this first year of high school was a critical adjustment period, and because poor test scores in this grade may be linked with a higher drop-out rate.</p>
<p><strong>Now, here's several reasons why I have a MAJOR issue with this study</strong>:</p>
<ul>
<li>How much do you think it cost to study nearly 10,000 individuals in Virginia alone?</li>
<li>Is this information something we didn't previously know?  Absolutely NOT. We have studied this problem <em>ad nauseam</em> and we know, for example, that over 160,000 kids miss school each and every day because of bullying. And those are only the ones we know that 'fess up to bullying being the reason. We have done study after study that shows bullying, anti-social behavior, respect has an effect on test scores. Did we really need another one to tell us what we already knew? One quote from Dewey Cornell, University of Virginia psychologist was quoted in one report of the study that:</li>
</ul>
<blockquote>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">"[he] and his colleagues theorize that bullying could distract students who are more worried about surviving the day than passing a test. Alternatively, schools with more bullies might be more dysfunctional in general. Teachers might also be distracted from classroom time by having to discipline bullies."</p>
</blockquote>
<p>"...theorize?"  They "theorize?"  Seriously...did it take this much money and time to jump to that far-fetched conclusion?</p>
<ul>
<li> Did this study move us closer to the goal of addressing the problem? No. I don't see how this study has miraculously made more dollars available to Virginia schools to now do something with this breaking news. Schools routinely state as a reason they don't do more about bullying that they simply can't afford it.  So, instead of spending all this money on studies that continue to reaffirm what we already know, why are we not applying those funds to solutions?</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>I just don't understand it. Perhaps I'm missing some key element that justifies why more and varied studies are really making a difference</strong>? If so, I'd love for someone to enlighten me.  I know it's important to understand an issue and a problem, but then the next logical step is for us to take action to DO something with that information.  Information is there to be used; it shouldn't just stand there on a shelf making us feel good because the end-result report weighs 3.5 lbs.</p>
<p>I guess this is where the phrase analysis paralysis comes from.  Or, is it from somewhere else?  Maybe I need to do a study to figure out where it comes from, what it means, and why it continues to proliferate. I'm pretty sure I can get that funded.</p>
<p><em><strong>For more on effective solutions to the problem of bullying and other anti-social behavior</strong>, click <a href="http://cyberbullyingsolutions.com/order/">http://cyberbullyingsolutions.com/order/</a> to view the free preview of "7 Steps to Eliminating Bullying in Schools, an Inside-Out Approach" or order the on-demand webinar. </em></p>
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