All of us have an unwritten personal rule of life. We wake at certain times, get ready for our days in particular ways, use our free time for assorted purposes and practice rhythms of work, hobbies, and worship. There is already a rule in place that you are following. Isn’t it time to give up your unwritten rule and prayerfully write one that more closely matches the heartbeat of God?

The Lilly Endowment, an Indianapolis-based, private philanthropic foundation, seeks to strengthen Christian congregations by providing an opportunity for pastors to step away briefly from the persistent obligations of daily parish life and to engage in a period of renewal and reflection. Renewal periods are not vacations, but times for intentional exploration and reflection and for regaining enthusiasm and creativity for ministry.

For complete program details and forms, go to http://www.clergyrenewal.org/

The case marked the first time the Supreme Court has acknowledged the existence of a “ministerial exception” to anti-discrimination laws. Chief Justice John Roberts wrote that since this was the first time the Court has ever considered a “ministerial exception,” it would not set hard and fast rules on who can be considered a religious employee of a religious organization.

Click here for more stories on the opinion and its implications for churches.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/12/us/supreme-court-recognizes-religious-exception-to-job-discrimination-laws.html?pagewanted=all

http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/on-faith/supreme-court-ruling-on-church-discrimination-leaves-educators-at-religious-schools-in-limbo/2012/01/20/gIQA7u4vCQ_story.html

Bonem’s book, released this month, is a valuable addition to a pastor’s library, the bookshelf of a church staff member or that of a lay leader who takes seriously their leadership responsibilities in a local church. Here are five reasons why this is an important book for local church leaders.

It is a book born out of real leadership experience in a local church. Bonem writes from the perspective of more than thirty years of experience, first as a consultant with McKinsey & Co., then as the executive pastor of a local church and now as a church consultant working with a wide variety of churches in terms of denomination, size and location.

It is a book filled with real examples of real leaders and churches addressing real issues. Bonem interviewed more 40 pastors and ministry leaders and combines their insight with his own. It is practical wisdom drawn from the trenches of ministry.

It is a book that draws on the best of leadership learnings and Biblical wisdom. Bonem begins with a Biblical foundation of leadership and then moves to the best of contemporary leadership insight from people like Collins, Kouzes and Posner.

It is a book that does not offer a single leadership model as THE model but focuses on leadership principles and multiple examples. Bonem demonstrates that God blesses a variety of leadership styles and approaches to ministry.

It is a book that includes both reflective questions and useful appendices. At the conclusion of each chapter, Bonem includes reflective questions that are appropriate for individual response or they can be used by a leadership team or small group. Appendix B, Practical Tips for Managing People, addresses hiring, performance evaluation, compensation and termination. Appendix C, Practical Ideas for Measurement, includes ideas on what and how to measure, plus metrics on evangelism, assimilation, spiritual growth, ministry deployment and effectiveness, and giving.

Recently, I had a wide-ranging conversation with Bonem about the book and its usefulness to local church leaders. What follows are excerpts from our conversation.

CC: Your book, In Pursuit of Great and Godly Leadership, has two distinct parts. Part One deals with the church tools of planning, people, metrics, finances, and systems. Part Two addresses a unified team, the power of culture, the complexities of change and soul care of the pastor. If the second part is working well, how does that impact the first part? Which part is more important?

MB: Part two is much more important than part one. I wrote them in the order I did because I felt like the audience would be looking for the practical stuff in part one. In my mind, part two is more important than part one. If you get the part two stuff right, it is easier to do the part one stuff. If the culture is right, if you have a great team with complimentary gifts, then it is easier for people to trust one another. It is then easier to have the conversation about how to do planning and what are the better metrics. You can do it by leveraging the skills sitting around the table…there are no hidden agendas…it is a much healthier environment. If part two is not in place, then working on part one stuff feels like you are constantly fighting an uphill battle.

CC: What did you learn in the process of writing the book that surprised you?

MB: One of most surprising things for me was a conversation with a pastor who would be called successful by almost any standard, but when I asked him about relating to the high capacity business leaders in his church, his response blew me away. He said he was almost intimidated to go into meetings with them. That made me wonder about other pastors who might feel the same way. That was a big “ah ha” for me.

Two other things surprised me. One is that there is more openness to business leadership principles in the church. The almost universal response was that God’s wisdom is where we find it. The other thing that surprised me was how many successful pastors struggle with anything they call strategic planning. They have a big vision and clearly accomplish a lot but if you ask them about their strategic planning process, they tended to say, “We never have been able to do that well here.” Some of that is semantics… but a lot of pastors tend to have high level vision and tactical plans for this year but actually lead more by gut feeling and intuition.

CC: A lot of your interviews were with pastors of larger churches. What lessons can be drawn from the book for pastors of smaller churches?

MB: Clearly the examples I have used, especially in the areas of staffing and personnel management…a lot of the same issues apply to volunteers in smaller churches…how you relate to them, how you manage them. A second point is that one way or another, the pastors who get to those larger church positions have learned or acquired those management and personnel skills. For smaller church pastors who have not yet had the chance to pick up these skills and their organizational and leadership issues are not quite as complex, the book could be valuable.

CC: For the average pastor, what is the key leverage point between being fulfilled in ministry and what keeps them frustrated and discouraged?

MB: The number one issue is the bookends of chapters 2 and 12 that start with understanding who you are and what is happening in your spiritual life that keeps you grounded. If you do not have that right, you will never be satisfied… you are always fighting a battle and fighting it on your own. If you are not clear about who God has made you to be and not grounded spiritually, then you are not going to find success.

If you are, then the next big issue is building healthy relationships, either paid or volunteer, and you do that more readily and easily if you are comfortable in your own skin and anchored in your relationship with God.

On the pragmatic side, the next issue would be personnel. We mess up personnel issues so big in the church…we don’t deal with people who are underperforming…we don’t adequately reward people who are excelling…we hang onto people who are in the wrong roles and everybody knows they are in the wrong roles. And because you are rubbing shoulders with people all the time, if you are not dealing with personnel, it is a constant aggravation, a constant drain.

CC: For a pastor or church leader who has just gotten the book, where should they begin reading?

MB: Read the first two chapters. Beyond that, what is the issue that is keeping you awake at night? Go to that chapter. Chapters 3-11 can stand alone.

CC: Now that the book is finished, what would you include in it that is not a part of the book?

MB: I think we just touched the tip of iceberg on the issue of how pastors and high capacity leaders work together. There is a depth that goes way beyond what we addressed in the book and helping lay leaders to be sensitive to pastors and vice versa.

CC: Final question: Are you saying that every leader has the potential to be great and godly?

MB: I certainly think that God wants all of us to be godly – that is shaped more and more into the image of Christ. But I don’t think that everyone will be great as defined by the world, or even their ministry peers. “Great” has the connotation of lots of people in worship and a huge ministry footprint. I think we’re all called to be good stewards of the talents and resources with which we’ve been entrusted. Anyone in a position of leadership can learn to be a better steward by studying the best leadership material and concepts that are available. If you’re doing that, I think you’re pursuing greatness according to God’s standard.

Mike Bonem is an experienced consultant, speaker and author of three books related to church leadership. For more information about Mike, his work and resources for church leaders, go to http://mikebonem.com

To order a copy of the book, click here.

While I’m not much for ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ I do believe there is a place for periodic evaluation and recalibration of life priorities.  New Year’s Resolutions tend to be spur-of-the-moment, guilt-driven statements that have almost no connection to reality in terms of potential accomplishment.  Recalibration of life priorities on the other hand, should be an exercise of prayerful, careful evaluation of how God wants us to live our lives and then clearly aligning our best efforts with His desires for us.  When these priorities are clearly identified and committed to, it’s a lot easier to fit the less important things in after them and, better yet, drop off the lower priority stuff all together.  Sometimes this is a matter of delegating the responsibility to someone else and sometimes it’s a matter of stopping a low-priority activity altogether.  But that’s a discussion for another All In article!

OK, so for some practicality, here are the categories I would suggest for this priority clarification work (nothing magic here, feel free to develop your own set):  Spiritual, Personal, Family, Professional, and Kingdom.

In each category I answer three questions related to Vision, Strategy and Action.

1. Vision - If I am following God’s lead in this area, how will my life be different in this category a year from now?

2. Strategy - What is the best way to move from my current state in this category to the envisioned place defined above?

3. Action - What specific, proactive steps do I need to take to begin this movement toward vision?  The corollary here is often a statement about stopping something that is an obstacle to the positive action.

Here’s a personal example from my own process of setting priorities for this year. By way of background, Connie and I have three adult children, all of whom are married and in different stages of growing into career and family decisions so our ‘parenting role’ is significantly modified from earlier years.

Family

Vision: Connie and I will have regular intentional life-developing conversations with each ‘kid-couple’ this year in order to have deeper than normal interaction about life impacting decisions they are facing.

Strategy:  We will proactively set up breakfast, lunch or dinner times with each couple separately once each quarter and will clearly define a topic of conversation for each get together.

Action:  Set dates for the first quarter’s set of meetings by the end of January, 2012.”

There is one more major issue I’d suggest you clarify for yourself.  You can get at this by finishing the following statement “ If I am going to maximize my contribution in ministry this year, this ONE THING I MUST accomplish…”

When you are clear about this one thing, spend some time deciding what it is going to take in terms of change and action in order to actually accomplish this.

As you can see, there is nothing earth shattering about this process, but I can almost guarantee that the few hours you would spend thinking through these priorities will make a huge difference in your ability throughout the year to stay focused on the important things and be able to avoid the trap of living life based on other people’s priorities for your life and ministry!

Take the time…it’s worth it!

As a pastors, I know that you live in fear for all kinds of reasons. I actually know pastors who are afraid to preach – not because of the Word of God but because in their very nature they are introverts and it takes everything they can to stand up in front of people and speak. As an associate pastor, I can remember standing on a church patio donated by a very prominent member of our church as a back hoe started tearing it up as part of a $1.5 million dollar expansion and renovation of our church. The senior pastor and I looked at each other and almost said in the same exact words, “What have we done now?”

Many nights I lay awake thinking about decisions that I was making and what the future might hold. Obeying God is one of the most satisfying, demanding, rewarding, frustrating, experiences we have as followers of Christ. Nothing is normal as a Christ follower. Just ask Abraham, Paul, Namaan, Peter, Joseph, Jacob, Mary, and Rahab to name a few.

So what do we do with our fear? I am not an expert on fear but I do want to share with you some thoughts about decision making that help to alleviate fear.

I find courage in the Scriptures. Reading how God delivered Israel, Kings, servants, tribes, etc. is comforting to me. It gives me courage. One of the more helpful things that I read on a daily basis is an email that I get from an organization called Fearful to Fearless that has a Scripture verse accompanied by a spiritual truth from the passage. It may not sound like much but those Scriptures and truths have brought me comfort many times. The other important point about reading Scripture is that this is where God talks to us. If you aren’t spending time daily in the Word of God you will struggle. Even more importantly, you will miss the friendship of God. Joshua 1:6, “Be strong and courageous, for you will lead my people to possess all the land I swore to give their ancestors. Be strong and very courageous. Obey all the laws Moses gave you. Do not turn away from them, and you will be successful in everything you do.” V. 8 goes to encourage us to study and meditate on God’s Word day and night.

You need other pastors in your life. You need a band of brothers and sisters who can help you when discernment is needed. You need to have people in your life who have similar experiences as you. There is nothing like peer-to-peer learning and praying together. Remember the story in Acts when friends lifted the lame friend down through the roof so that he would experience healing. Who are your friends? Who is your Jonathan? The source of courage does not come from ability, technique, personality or anything human. It comes from God. Sure we all experience or read about human heroics. But the courage that I am talking about comes from obeying God. Story after story in the First Testament shows us exactly who defeated Israel’s enemies. God did. We need to learn to trust God for the outcomes of our decisions. He is the source of all victory. He is the source of all power. Obeying him and trusting in him will help alleviate our fears.

Finally, prayer. We are constantly being reminded to pray, but do we? One of the greatest weapons to defeat fear is our prayer life, yet we barely make time to pray. Currently, I am reading Mark Batterson’s book, The Circle Maker, Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears. I am already encouraged and emboldened in my faith of his stories on prayer. I resonated with him when I walked all over the neighbor around our church and prayed for people. God sent us people who became members of our congregation and people who rose to leadership levels in our church. Those days were incredible. If you are “prayed up,” you will be less likely to fear. Make prayer a vital part of your life.

Pastors, we love you and care for you more than you know. We consistently pray for you. We are doing everything we can to help you thrive and grow in your ministry. One effort is our Master’s Groups that have a great process to help you make good decisions. You can learn more about being part of a Master’s Group at www.ccnetonline.org.

In 1960, 72% of all adults ages 18 and older were married; today just 51% are. If current trends continue, the share of adults who are currently married will drop to below half within a few years.

The Pew Research analysis also finds that the number of new marriages in the U.S. declined by 5% between 2009 and 2010, a sharp one-year drop that may or may not be related to the sour economy.

The United States is by no means the only nation where marriage has been losing “market share” for the past half century. The same trend has taken hold in most other advanced post-industrial societies, and these long-term declines appear to be largely unrelated to the business cycle. The declines have persisted through good economic times and bad.

In the United States, the declines have occurred among all age groups, but are most dramatic among young adults. Today, just 20% of adults ages 18 to 29 are married, compared with 59% in 1960.

Over the course of the past 50 years, the median age at first marriage has risen by about six years for both men and women. It is not yet known whether today’s young adults are abandoning marriage or merely delaying it.

Click here for the full report.