Cosmic Navel Lint

What is your world view?

2011-05-19T03:36:00.000+01:00

The Birthers' Bazaar - they say timing is everything...

2011-04-29T18:43:00.000+01:00

Prior to President Obama's publication of his birth certificate, last Wednesday (27th April 2011), this book is/was due to be published on 17th May 2011

As you can see from the book's cover, its author, rabid Republican and doyen of the US 'Birther' movement, is one Jerome Corsi - he an habitué of that Birthers' bazaar and stridently conservative website, World News Daily (WND) - a site so right wing that Attila the Hun would be considered a dangerous pinko liberal.

Like his fellow WND stalwarts, Corsi (pictured left)'s a man who has a curious relationship with facts and reality - so curious, in fact, that it embraces being downright tenuous. Indeed, Wikipedia describes Corsi's output as being prone to "numerous factual errors" - but why submit to facts when you've an allegedly factual book to promote?

As with many things in life, they say timing's everything: and were the WND Birther Borg and Corsi to be considered actual journalists, then they themselves might have shown some journalistic integrity and admitted defeat on this score - alas, they're both from the lunatic fringe of the Birther movement and won't let facts (like the production of Obama's birth certificate) get in the way of a 'good' story. Expect to see this publication out on its due date next month.

That being the case, here's the email I've just sent to Corsi, WND Editor-in-Chief, Chairman & CEO, Joseph Farah, and his wife(?) and WND's Co-Founder and Chief Marketing Officer, Elizabeth Farah:

From: Bren Tierney
Sent: 29 April 2011 17:23
To: 'jcorsi@worldnetdaily.com'
Cc: 'elizabethfarah@worldnetdaily.com'; 'jfarah@worldnetdaily.com'
Subject: Pulped Fiction

My Dear Mr Corsi,

Just a quick note regarding your entire-print-run-about-to-be-pulped ‘Birther’ tome: ‘Where’s the Birth Certificate? – The Case that Barak Obama is not Eligible to be President.’

I’m guessing that right about now that your publisher, WND [what’s that, ‘Weapons of No Destruction’?] Books, are ruing the day they agreed to your manuscript?

Never mind, I believe your two other works of fiction can be found in the penny bins at gas stations the length and breadth of the US, so that must come as some comfort, eh?

In naval parlance, and what with Wednesday’s announcement and publication of his birth certificate, Mr Obama has well and truly spiked your guns – what with your book due to hit the stands on 17^th May. Oops…

What you and your Birther backers at WND fail to understand, in your ceaseless exertions at self-promotion (regardless of the veracity and provenance of your collective output – I can’t call it ‘journalism’), is that you make the US look like a backwards nation: one where mere personal opinion and fact-free, bumper-sticker rhetoric is confused and conflated with what we, outside the US, know as ‘facts’. Indeed, with very little effort on your part, you’ve managed to secure equal billing with that other rampant lune, Orly Taitz.

Apropos the new book, there may be some immediate consolation: if it’s not pulped as now being proven both wrong and redundant, people can buy it in bulk and not have to worry about running out of toilet paper for at least six months. You may get one or two rye comments as to the properties of its absorbency and lack of quilting, but hey, at least it’ll be cheap and readily disposable – especially as the only way you’ll be able to shift it from the shelves is to give it away free.

So, what’s next for you? A book on how Nelson Mandela supported the Apartheid regime? No? How about one on how Lavrentiy Beria and Joseph Stalin were both merely ‘misunderstood care givers’? Still not grabbing your fancy? OK, how about one on ‘The Functional Illiteracy of GW Bush’? Actually, thinking about it, that would mean straying from your usual fiction genre and be too much of a stretch in credulity – even for you.

Anyhow, it’s been a gas watching you and WND making public poltroons of yourselves. Do keep up the good work – satirists on this side of the herring pond do so treasure the opportunity for good source material.

Chin-chin!

Bren Tierney

Memorable Dates in History - Volume #7

2011-04-26T20:13:00.000+01:00

To the man to whom we are all in debt (most of us, quite literally)

Grammar sends a sexually suggestive open letter to the world.

2011-03-18T20:39:00.001Z

How the Tea Party still views America

2011-03-09T01:55:00.000Z

What every well-dressed Egyptian Revolutionary is wearing this Season - Headgear

2011-03-04T18:08:00.000Z

Down with despots and tyrants!

Rejecting the couture overtures of John Galliano, this is what the well-dressed Egyptian revolutionary is wearing this season...

So, just to outline here – these are makeshift helmets made by the Egyptians whilst scrapping to get rid of one Hosni Mubarak Esq. (late Egyptian dictator, 'retired').

Ah, here we go - your classic 1979 ‘Tribottle-with-Rag’ helmet – a must in any type of urban revolutionary combat. In the cranial protection-from-bricks department, this rates highly.

A late 80s' ‘box-hat-and-faux-turban’ ensemble - although, note that the bloke next to him doesn’t appear too convinced of its effectiveness.

And here's something seen all too seldom nowadays: a renaissance period piece of anti-brick wear millinery, teamed with his mum's black and cream scarf. Textbook.

And now we're seeing some archetypal revolutionary reverie - although I'm not sure that that tuna-mayo sandwich he's about to launch [or should that be 'lunch'?] is gonna cause too much destruction (maybe the panini is mightier than the sword?) Either way, this chap's sporting the old skool 80s' broken bin helmet. Hard core. I personally love the fact that he needs to lift it up to see – but it does beg the question: does he spend the rest of the time walking in to things? Note to revolutionary newbies: for daytime wear only!

Textbook "sauce-panning", nicely set off with water-skiing life-jacket and surgical mask combo. This chap obviously brooks no shenanigans from secret police types.

I literally have no idea what this is. Answers on a postcard to the usual address please... Big Mac and large fries to the person with the best guess.

And here's the winner by a country-mile. This bloke is no slouch when it comes to the revolutionary catwalk and has obviously seen action before - his front-line credibility showing through in spades, here, as he goes to war with not one, but two baguettes strapped to his ears, and a chicken salad roll Sellotaped to his forehead. I’d definitely wanna be behind him if someone began raining bricks and rubber bullets down on me.

VIVE LA REVOLUTION!

And the Oscar goes to... The President's Speech

2011-02-28T14:22:00.000Z

This has done more to rehabilitate Mike Tyson than The Hangover...

Do you think Col Gaddafi has had 'any work done'?

2011-02-21T23:20:00.001Z

BEFORE: at an 'Imelda Marcos sings Liberace' concert in Vegas

(nice shade of blue eye shadow, btw, Gaddy, set off well by the earrings)

After his initial procedure... sans make-up this time...

AFTER

Pictures courtesy of the Libyan National Archive.

Breaking News - Church of Scientology steal John Travolta's Wig!

2011-02-21T18:28:00.000Z

Regime Change - and the US never had to fire a shot!

2011-02-15T00:20:00.000Z

Reagan at 100

2011-02-06T17:38:00.000Z

What does it say about the GOP that they believe the USA should be run by a man born 100 years ago?

How to Test the Resolve of a Creationist

2011-02-03T19:48:00.000Z

Gallup poll of [US] adults: Humans didn't evolve, 46%; evolution guided by God, 40%; evolution occurred by itself, 10%. Quoted by Adam L. Carley, Free Inquiry, Fall 1994

Thanks to Ethical Reporters Against Faux News for the steal.

Tea Party History Lesson

2011-02-01T22:05:00.000Z

A history lesson from the Tea Party

In days of yore, giants strode the earth. We know and worship them them today as the Founding Fathers!

Thanks to Salon.com for the steer and Tom Tomorrow for the satire.

The American Dream - not for the faint hearted...

2011-01-08T15:34:00.000Z

You need to watch this - it explains how the US allowed itself to get royally fucked... without lube.

Thanks to Tom Degan for the steer.

Top Card Trick

2011-01-04T18:36:00.000Z

Obama - according to the Confusedniks of the Tea Party

2010-12-28T21:03:00.001Z

So, according to the Tea-hadists, Obama's a ...

And thanks to Kevin Karsten, and his amazing photo-stash of political satire!

Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year to All

2010-12-24T14:18:00.001Z

Well Folks, as 2010 draws to its inexorable close, and having been not without its ups-n-downs for some of us, I'm sure, Fiona and I would like to wish you and yours all the very best for Christmas and The New Year - I'm on holiday now until early January, and can't make any concrete promises in the sobriety stakes, so let the festivities begin (if they haven't done already in your neck of the woods!) Enjoy!

WikiLeaks - the natural question?

2010-12-08T02:27:00.000Z

Tea Party's vision of Healthcare

2010-12-06T02:06:00.000Z

Have a Happy GOP Christmas

2010-12-06T01:27:00.000Z

History - as Taught by The Tea Party

2010-12-04T08:46:00.000Z

Rupert Murdoch is now funding educational materials in the US. Strap in for the ride!

With thanks to Armchair Patriots for their amazing catalogue of political and other satire

If World War One was a fight in a pub...

2010-11-23T01:25:00.000Z

If World War One was a fight in a pub...

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint.

Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view.

Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers.

Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.

Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.

France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over.

Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it.

France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway.

Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.

America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

You might be a Republican if...

2010-10-14T12:55:00.001+01:00

1) You believe that Bush's redistribution of middle-class tax cuts to the top 1% of tax-payers was good for America, but Obama's plan to return it to the middle class is 'socialism.'

2) You believe stem cells are living human beings, but thousands of Iraqi children are 'expendable collateral damage.'

3) You believe tax cuts for billionaires is a great idea, yet you wonder why the economy has stalled, your job just got outsourced to India, and oil company executives receive $400,000,000.00 retirement packages as they cut pensions for their labour force.

4) You believe that the surge worked because the violence in Iraq is back to 2006 levels, which is only horrible, compared to what it was in 2007; intolerable. Besides, Brit Hume said so.

5) You think trial lawyers are harmful to America, but you support prosecuting some guy in Muncie Indiana who burned his 99¢ American flag that was made in China by forced child labor.

6) You're all for the 'rule of law' when it's applied to Bill Clinton for lying about his infidelity, but not for prosecuting Karl Rove and Scooter Libby for committing treason.

7) You think George W. Bush is actually a really smart guy, but his folksy mannerisms just makes him seem dumb.

8) You believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own, and that those who are born to poverty and never have opportunities for advancement, got what they deserved.

9) You believe Ronald Reagan was a great president who had complete control of all aspects of government, and that Iran-Contra Affair was an insignificant scandal that went on without his knowledge.

10) You believe Democrats tax and spend, but George W. Bush was a fiscal conservative.

11) You believe Oliver North, who was convicted of perjury, obstruction of justice, destroying evidence and accepting bribes is a patriot, but John Kerry, who saved a man's life while under enemy fire in Vietnam is a coward.

12) You believe George W. Bush has kept us safe from terror, and that the failure to prevent the 9/11 attacks were Clinton's fault.

13) You actually believe Fox News is fair & balanced.

14) You still believe Saddam had truckloads of WMDs, and that he somehow managed to sneak them into Syria, right under our noses.

15) You believe Terri Schiavo was sentient all along, and that Bill Frist had the ability to diagnose her condition by watching a 5 second video of her sleeping.

16) You're in favor of stronger prison sentences for drug abusers, yet your favourite radio personality is Rush Limbaugh.

17) You complain about having to press 1 for English, yet you hire illegal Mexicans to mow your lawn because they're cheaper than hiring the kid next door.

18) Homosexuality is abhorrent to you, except when a Republican senator, the president of the National Association of Evangelicals, and a planted White House journalist all turn out to be gay, then you suddenly feel sorry for them.

19) The war in Iraq makes perfect sense to you, but any suggestion by Barack Obama that we target al Qaeda terrorists in Pakistan is 'dangerous and reckless.'

20) You don't mind that president Bush tortured men who were never charged with a crime, yet you're horrified by the barbarism of al Qaeda when they capture one of our guys.

21) You believe the 1/10 of 1% of scientists who claim global warming is a hoax, and reject the 99.9% who say it's real, because Sean Hannity and his sponsors from the oil industry have convinced you that science is a liberal conspiracy.

22) You believe patriotism means you should support your government right or wrong ... unless a Democrat's in power, then it's your patriotic duty to call him a closet Muslim, a Marxist, challenge his birth certificate, expose his sex life and impeach him.

23) You're proud of your party's 'culture of life.' Yet you support the death penalty for minors, you believe 600,000 dead Iraqis is justified because one of them was Saddam Hussein, and you oppose confronting the genocide in Darfur (after all, they don't have oil).

24) You support prayer in school, as long as your kids aren't subjected to any prayers other than the ones you hear in your own church.

25) You think Darwin's theory of evolution is a loony fairy tale, and that mankind actually began with two naked teenagers, a magic apple and a talking snake.

26) You think $35 billion spent on health care for children is a waste of taxpayer's money, but $2.5 TRILLION spent on a catastrophic war that has isolated us from our allies, decimated our economy and made us less safe was money well spent.

27) You believe embargoing communist Cuba is sound foreign policy, but trading with China is just good business.

28) You believe Bill Clinton was an immoral cad, but Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were faithful husbands -- and that Larry Craig just has a wide stance.

29) You fervently defend the Constitution, but when president Bush got caught monitoring 200 million phones without a warrant, politicizing our justice system, hyping evidence for going to war and commuting the sentence of a convicted perjurer who just happened to be on his staff, then it's okay, because he was 'protecting America.'

30) You were outraged when a gallon of gasoline went from $1.29 to $1.40 during the two terms of the Clinton presidency, but you didn't seem to mind when prices tripled under George W. Bush, the "oil man."

31) You were furious when Bill Clinton pardoned international commodities trader Marc Rich, who was convicted of tax evasion, but applauded when George W. Bush exonerated Scooter Libby for obstructing justice to protect Dick Cheney from a treason indictment.

32) With no evidence whatsoever, you complained of 'voter fraud,' and demanded that thousands of blacks be scrubbed from voting lists during the 2004 election in Ohio, yet when Rush Limbaugh asked his audience to illegally claim to be Democrats and vote for Hillary Clinton during the Ohio Primary in February to "stir up trouble", a felony, you were okay with that.

33) You believe that Barack Obama should be held accountable for every sermon that Jeremiah Wright ever gave, but John McCain, who sought the endorsement of anti-Semitic, xenophobic, openly racist and homophobic pastors should be given a pass.

34) You believe that Barack Obama is a secret Muslim, was actually born in Kenya, and his parents forged a fake birth certificate back in 1961 - just in case he should ever run for president of the United States, and that his father's nationality disqualifies his son from being president, all because you read that on the Internet.

35) You believe that the 8 consecutive years of prosperity and strong economic growth from 1993 - 2001 was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush, but today's recession is all Clinton's fault.

36) You laugh at how much better Barack Obama speaks with a TelePrompTer than without one, yet you never mention the fact that even with a TelePrompTer, every time George Bush opened his mouth, gibberish tumbled out. Bush couldn't construct a coherent gaff-free sentence even when Karl Rove was whispering in his ear via a wire.

37) You still believe Barack Obama is lying about being born in Hawaii, and has somehow succeeded in fooling every government and independent examination with his "obviously Photoshopped" documents. Instead, you rely on Internet blogs, WorldNetDaily and Jerome Corsi as your sources for "truth."

38) Your conservative media spent more air time discussing Michelle Obama touching the queen than on the economy, the environment, terrorism and health care combined.

39) You believe Barack Obama is "nation building" in Afghanistan, yet for eight straight years of Bush's bumbling incompetence there, you kept mum. Therefore, attacking Iraq makes sense, even though they never threatened us, but finishing off the job of finding Osama bin Laden; the terrorist who killed 3,000 Americans -- Bush's original task -- is a dumb idea because it's nation building. Got it!

40) You were furious that Barack Obama admitted in France that Americans had in the past been "arrogant, dismissive and derisive," yet you cheered them on for eight years while Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld were arrogant, dismissive and derisive.

41) You believe that Obama's $3.6 trillion budget is an outrage, but never once complained that George Bush turned Bill Clinton's $300 billion surplus into a $1.3 trillion deficit. And it never once occurred to you that Bush deliberately omitted the Iraq and Afghanistan wars from those statistics, which means Bush's true deficit was over $3.1 trillion.

42) You supported Gov. Sarah Palin, partly because you believed that she kept a good Christian home. This, despite the fact that her seventeen year old unmarried daughter was knocked up, her son was accused of vandalizing 44 school buses (cutting the brake lines - HELLO!!?) and was given the choice of going to jail or join the military, and Palin herself was found guilty of abusing the power of her office. But Barack Obama can't possibly be a true Christian, because his father was a Muslim, and his middle name is Hussein. (Besides, he's black, and everybody knows that Jesus was a blond haired, blue eyed white man.)

43) You believe that the only solution to gun violence is to make sure everybody packs heat. That way, when some crazy person goes on a killing spree, right-thinking people will take out the killer, and tranquillity will prevail throughout the land.

44) You believe the mainstream news anchors are crazy and filled with hate, but Glenn Beck, Terry O'Reilly and Sean Hannity are rational, accurate and informative.

45) You defend Rush Limbaugh's right to wish for Obama to fail, and therefore, the failure of our republic, yet you call Democrats the "blame America first crowd."

46) You believe the economic crisis is the fault of liberals, but never mention that it was the Reagan administration that massively deregulated the banking industry in 1982, and it was Phil Gramm - McCain's choice for economic advisor - who completed the task for his pals in the banking industry in 1999.

47) You believe the failure of the US automobile industry is primarily the fault of the unions, and not because management of the three corporations insisted on producing vehicles that nobody wanted. And you're angry with the $28.00 per hour average wage of the work force, but you believe that the multimillion dollar salaries of the men who bankrupted the industry are perfectly reasonable.

48) You think this list is mean-spirited and biased, and even though you privately acknowledge to yourself that it's all true, you believe the Democrats are just as bad. Here's a bulletin: Nobody has ever been this bad.

***************************************

Thanks to Bruce Lindner for the write-up!

Sometimes you read something and think it's so bad, it just has to be a joke...

2010-09-24T18:11:00.001+01:00

And then you read this, which plainly isn't.

And notably the cowardly bigot restricts what reader comments appear on his site - so playing the game with all the bravery of being out of range.

Feel free to comment.

The G.W. Bush Presidency - 8 years in 8 minutes

2010-09-03T15:47:00.001+01:00

Just woeful