Spring is a beautiful time to be outdoors.  The flowers and flowering trees are such a pleasant contrast to the drab winter.  The sky is so blue and as I thought about it, it seemed that blue must be God’s favorite color.  The sky is so vast and limitless and on some days the blue is so deep and yet so brilliant and beautiful.  Since the sky covers the entire earth and there is so much beautiful blue, that must be God’s favorite color.

But when I bring my eyes down from the sky all I see is green.  The trees are full of green leaves.  The green evergreens continue with their green.  The base of most plants that produce flowers is green.  Then there is the green grass.  In the spring the green of the grass is so lush.  In other parts of the world there is the green jungle and the rain forests which are so green.  Since the earth is covered with beautiful green vegetation, green must be God’s color.

Still another beauty in the Midwest is winter with the snow.  Watching snow fall and cover the ground is to beautiful.  But the most beautiful sight is when it is done and the trees, vegetation, ground, drives, houses, etc., are covered with dazzling white snow.  What a beautiful sight.  The Bible helps with understanding that beauty with a superior description.  In Isaiah 1:18 God says sins that are red like crimson He will make like wool and sins that are like scarlet He will be make as white as snow.  Since God covers many parts of the earth with the beautiful snow that reminds us of His regeneration work, so white must be His favorite color.

Then I reflect on that Isaiah passage and become convinced my favorite color is God’s favorite color.  Mine is the crimson that is part of the Indiana University school colors of cream and crimson.  It is even mentioned in that verse in Isaiah.  Red must be God’s favorite color since that is the color He gave blood when He created humanity.  That blood red color was what the Passover angel saw when he passed over the Israelites as they prepared to leave the bondage of Egypt.  God says that without the shedding of the red blood there is no payment for sins.  Putting that with what is taught in that Isaiah verse brings us to some interesting color concepts.  When the red blood of Christ is applied to our scarlet and crimson red sins they become white as snow.  That is an astounding miracle.  But it requires the red blood of Christ for it to happen.  So red must be God’s favorite color.

As I have reflected on these colors I have concluded that no one single color is God’s favorite color.  His favorite color is all of them as seen in the rainbow.  God delights in many colors as seen in the description of the fabulous colors of the jewels on the foundation of the New Jerusalem in Revelation 21:19-21.  His favorite color is very like a mixture of colors.  I would suggest that His favorite color is the skin color of everyone who places their trust in His Son’s substitutionary death as a payment for their sins.  This color is so delightful to him that He has populated the earth with those colors and will spend eternity in fellowship with those people and their colors.  So you can probably say God’s favorite color is us.

Chris is a husband, father, pastor, biblical counselor and a certified batterer intervention group facilitator working with his local criminal corrections department teaching weekly domestic violence prevention classes. 

I’ve read scores of criminal complaints, police narratives, and victim statements over the years but this one was different. Maybe I’m getting used to reading them because as I look back I was far too casual with this one, almost callused hurrying through the details eager to place it back in the file. It wasn’t until later that evening as I quieted my mind that the Holy Spirit allowed the words from that report to begin penetrating my heart. It was as if the details flew into my mind almost like they were in color and the background was black and white. Words like, “bruising on the arms and face” “lacerations” and “the victim’s blood” reminded me that this is far more than just paperwork. These are people, people who in the context of an intimate relationship find their lives reduced to a few paragraphs on a sheet of paper. I was actually reading about a victim who is far more than the extent of her wounds, and a perpetrator who in fact is more than his rage and desire for control. They are people created and subsequently pursued by the God of heaven. His desire for them far exceeds the trouble they have and will continue to face. He has comfort for the victimized, and hope for the violent man and also longs for His people to compassionately respond to both the victim and perpetrator as well. While this experience has left me with many thoughts, here is one that I hope will challenge you as well.

What the image of God has to do with domestic violence

People are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-28). Therefore when one person assaults another he is in fact assaulting an image bearer of God. This was running through my mind as I contemplated the victim in the above case. Asking myself what that means I jotted down a few thoughts.

• Sacred Space: Most agree that the image and likeness of God involves more than what we see in the mirror but this is still a fine place to begin. The human body is sacred so to speak. When we neglect or harm our own bodies, or inflict harm or pain on another we are in fact attacking the one whom our bodies represent. For the believer this truth is emphasized in the New Testament in reference to our own bodies (1Corinthians 6:19-20) as well as how husbands in particular are to treat their wives (Ephesians 5:28).  As Biblical counselors we should not neglect this reality as we ask questions or find out more information. In our case above a husband has done great damage to his wife, and in doing so had minimized or completely ignored the image of God. We should love him enough to challenge his sin and call for repentance. In addition we should acknowledge the victims pain and mourn with her.
• Our God is a relational being therefore we are relational beings. We are designed for community and abuse perverts and distorts this reality.
  Relational Beings: Our God is a relational being therefore we are relational beings. We are designed for community and abuse perverts and distorts this reality. Domestic violence isolates the victim from safety and security, and the perpetrator from sources of accountability. This relational dysfunction of isolation deviates from God’s design, and for the believer violates the principles of Scripture (Hebrews 10:24-25). I really believe that the church is the proper place to address domestic violence because we are a laboratory of relationships. We can both teach and model these principles to the couple above. Yes, we should give way to the authorities, domestic violence is a crime. But, that does not mean we neglect our brothers and sisters. The authorities can punish, and try and protect but they can’t offer the hope of the gospel. The church has as our mission and calling the ministry of reconciliation (2Corinthians 5:18-21). We too are compelled by Christ’s love to see the victim and the perpetrator through His eyes. Only the church can call the offender to repentance and provide the spiritual accountability he needs through the body of Christ and church discipline. Only the church can bring the healing touch of Christ through his body’s response and subsequent care to the victim. (1Corinthians 12:12-14) The bottom line is they need us.
• Made for a Reason: We, as image bearers have purpose. Our functionality or purpose is connected to the image of God as well. Consider how a Christian husband is fulfilling his God given purpose of living for God’s pleasure (2Corinthians 5:9) while physically assaulting his wife, or how the victim is confined and restricted from being salt and light by a controlling spouse. Domestic violence has at its very heart desires for control and sinful abuses of power which constrict a relationship to the point of little or no meaning. Purpose is swept aside for conformity and truth is replaced with manipulative communication both from the offender who controls and the victim who resists, or plays along to avoid abuse. Marriage is a mirror of Christ’s relationship with the church. (Ephesians 5:21-33) But, when a marriage is blanketed by violence and control it will not effectively point observers to Christ. It lacks purpose and meaning.

This post is the result of considering one story, but there are many more like it. If you haven’t encountered domestic violence in your counseling you probably will. You will more than likely see the bruises, marks, and scars of the victim and may be a witness to the rage, denial, and slander of the offender but will you see more? Will you see clearly the image of God stamped upon and in each person that seeks your help? And, are you and your church prepared to offer comfort to the victim, and hope to the offender? Let’s work together so that God’s incredible work of restoration may be visible in the lives of all those we counsel.

#1. The Lord was working

You could see it as the Lord used session after session to touch the hearts and lives of people. Lines formed at the end of the sessions not to debate or antagonize the speaker, but to thank them for their ministry. In some cases the guests expressed hope in the midst of hardship, joy in their union with Christ, and excitement in the ministry tools they were learning. God was also breaking hearts and bringing about repentance. Last week, God worked in the lives of his people, encouraging them on in the path of becoming like Jesus.

#2. We all were rejoicing during the worship services, during the track sessions, and during breaks

Just look at some of the faces from this year’s conference (this is the video, but if you prefer the stills, check out the album).

#3. We all were thinking about how we need to grow first

One of the highlights for me is hearing the number of people tell me that they need to be a godly husband, or wife, or parent. Maybe they need to forgive. Maybe they need to run to Jesus in the midst of their trial. Maybe they need to walk in the light. As people tell these stories it is encouraging, convicting, and an opportunity for prayer.

#4. There were tons of planning meetings about how this could strengthen individual ministries

I had the chance to meet with two different churches last week. Both churches were actively doing the same thing – they were seeking to understand how biblical counseling could be used to glorify God and strengthen his people. Don’t you just love that? These are established churches that have lots of wonderful things already going. Yet, they were asking how they could be good stewards in the personal, one on one ministry of the Word found in biblical counseling. I don’t know if I was able to be an asset to them, but I do know that I walked away from the conversation encouraged.

#5. Over 1,700 people who love Jesus were seeking to love others more

I also loved the attitude of the people. No one was being snarky or rude. They were seeking answers so that they might be able to do what Jesus said in Matthew 22:37-40, love God first and then your neighbor as yourself.

It is difficult to put into words the wonderful time that we had together at the BCTC. These were just 5 of my highlights. Please comment and share some of yours.

1.  A focus on God (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) and His written Word.  Our supreme goal is to bring our God glory and please the Lord Jesus Christ in what and how we think, speak, and do – everything!  His word is alive and active, providing a light unto our path that is profitable for life and godliness.

2.  An emphasis on personal spiritual growth.  Influencing others spiritually begins with a transparent, growing vessel ready to be used by our Savior.  Your well must contain water if you plan to give water to one who is thirsty.  One of our goals is to help “fill your well” during this week.

3.  A staff and church family that counts it a privilege to serve you with the love of Christ. We love this annual conference week around here for several reasons, not the least of which is that we get to serve some amazing people.

4. Energy! When You get over 1,700 people together who love God and want to grow personally in their walk with Christ and in their ability to effectively impact people with God’s word, you get a “spiritual energy” that truly nourishes your soul.

5. Friends, Food, and Fun.  New friends are made, existing friendships are strengthened, and people have a great time.  Oh, and the plan is to have plenty of snackage.  Some healthy, and some…well…good to the taste.

Conference guests/friends:  We look forward to seeing you, serving, and getting to know you on February 12-17, 2012. (Still making travel plans? Our travel page has some information that may help.)

Idolatry is the perversion of our delight in God into enslaving delights of the created order (pleasures, power, praise of man, possessions, peace; Romans 1:21–32). When our hearts are fixated on the fleeting pleasures of this world, our ability to perceive this world (and its people) through any other lens than the pleasure afforded us is constricted. We will not be able to perceive God in our hard circumstances. We will not be able to perceive the needs of others in our encounters. And therefore, idolatry is no less than a reversal of the two greatest commandments to love God and love others.

Our forefathers in the faith, Israel, struggled just as much as we do with idolatry. Israel’s millennium-long violation of “have no other god before me”(i.e. the first commandment, Exodus 20:2) brought God’s severe discipline.  In the Scriptures, Israel is metaphorically pictured as “blind” and “deaf”— like the idols in which they delighted (Psalm 135:14-18). The picture of Israel being “blind” and “deaf” is precisely the judgment pronounced by Yahweh in Isaiah 6:9–13 (they will “hear but not hear, see but not see”—i.e. they will be blind and deaf). In contrast to Isaiah who saw and heard the thrice Holy God (Isaiah 6), Israel could only see the blind and deaf stone objects which they hoped could bring them their much desired delights.

Isaiah’s sight was not constricted. He fully saw and heard the incomparable Yahweh who is unlike any pleasure or created enjoyment in this universe. He saw the HOLY, HOLY, HOLY, God—high and lifted up. He saw and heard The God Who is not like cheesecake. He saw and heard The God Who is not like fame. He saw and heard The God Who is not like sexual pleasure. He saw and heard The God Who is not like entertainment. He saw and heard The God Who is not like affection. He saw The God Who is unlike anything or anyone else! This, then, is the essential meaning of “Holy.”

Beholding the Incomparable Yahweh was also Isaiah’s prescription for idolatrous Israel (and us). After seventy years of blind and deaf Israel contemplating the reasons for her exile, Isaiah unleashes a vision of the Incomparable Yahweh in Isaiah 40:12–31. This holy passage is unlike any other in Scripture. Isaiah invites the hearer to ask himself, “Who or What is like Yahweh?” Isaiah invites the blind idolater to see Yahweh in all of His incomparable glory.

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand?
And marked off the heavens by the span?
And calculated the dust of the earth by the measure?
And weighed the mountains in a balance?
And the hills in a pair of scales?
Who has directed the Spirit of the Lord?
Or as His counselor has informed Him?
With whom did He consult and who gave Him understanding?
And who taught Him in the path of justice and taught Him knowledge?
And informed Him of the way of understanding?
Behold, the nations are like a drop from a bucket,
And are regarded as a speck of dust on the scales;
Behold, He lifts up the islands like fine dust.
Even Lebanon is not enough to burn,
Nor its beasts enough for a burnt offering.
All the nations are as nothing before Him,
They are regarded by Him as less than nothing and meaningless.
To whom then will you liken God?
Or what likeness will you compare with Him?
As for the idol, a craftsman casts it,
A goldsmith plates it with gold,
And a silversmith fashions chains of silver.
He who is too impoverished for such an offering
Selects a tree that does not rot;
He seeks out for himself a skillful craftsman
To prepare an idol that will not totter.
Do you not know? Have you not heard?
Has it not been declared to you from the beginning?
Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth?
It is He who sits above the circle of the earth…(Excerpt from Isaiah 40:12-31)

Beholding the incomparable Yahweh is the only solution to blinding idolatry. When we see God for who He is, how then can we compare Him to cheesecake, fame, sexual pleasure, entertainment, and affection as if these were more desirable?

In the comments below would you offer your suggestions as to how you help your counselee “behold the Incomparable Yahweh” from the Scripture and thereby be rescued from enslaving idolatry?

We dealt with infertility for about 9 years before we adopted. We now have 2 children, and while we’re still technically dealing with infertility, that issue is mostly behind us. We cannot speak for all infertile couples (we welcome additions, subtractions, or other comments on this post), but we wanted to use our own experience—with the input of friends who have experienced infertility as well—to be very straight-up about what infertile couples want their family, friends, and churches to know.

How common is infertility? One in ten couples of childbearing age face infertility, according to The American Pregnancy Association. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention provides a similar statistic, saying that over 6 million US women age 15-44 experience infertility. Since many infertile couples suffer in silence, you need to trust the statistics. We’re not necessarily urging you to seek to identify these couples; we’re simply saying that in all likelihood, you do have some infertile couples in your life.

Some very simple decisions make the difference between your church helping infertile couples or pushing them away. To determine how you’re doing, consider these questions:

• When you celebrate events like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, do you acknowledge—briefly—that while this is a day of rejoicing for many, it’s a day of mourning for others? These events can be brutal for infertile couples, since the purpose is to celebrate the beauty of a wonderful relationship that they are constantly being denied.To be clear, we’re not suggesting that the presence of a few childless couples in your church should drag down the entire celebration. We just think this is a great opportunity to follow Paul’s admonition in Romans 12:15 to rejoice with those who are rejoicing, and mourn with those who are mourning. Our pastor does a fantastic job of striking an appropriate balance. He focuses on the celebration, but he also reminds the congregation that there are people for whom this day is difficult, and he prays for such couples. Just a few words can go a long way toward making infertile couples feel like part of the church family on those days. It’s appropriate for infertile couples to obey the first half of Romans 12:15, especially on days designated as celebrations; but it’s equally appropriate for the rest of your church body to obey the second half in some small way.
• Are infertile couples welcome in the classes and/or small groups that their peers attend, or are they encouraged to attend elsewhere because they’re “not a family yet?” Don’t exclude these couples from family-oriented classes. They may have some of their closest Christian friends in those classes; but also, these couples may have children any time, and can therefore benefit from your family-focused lessons. Maybe they’ll ultimately decide to try a different class, but why not let them decide?
• Are you providing ready counsel and classes to address the weighty moral questions these couples will face? It’s likely that their doctor will strongly suggest things like implanting several embryos with the intent to “selectively reduce if needed.” The couple may have to make decisions about whether to use donor eggs, sperm, or embryos. They may be asked whether they want to freeze some of their embryos. They may wonder whether setting out on a treatment path costing tens of thousands of dollars is good stewardship. The opportunities to help these couples make biblically informed decisions and solidify their beliefs are tremendous; don’t miss them.
  If a couple struggling with infertility started attending your church, how long would it take for them to find others who share their struggle, and get the biblical help and Christian camaraderie they need?
  In addition to counsel and classes, these couples may need to talk with others going through similar challenges. Has your church done anything to facilitate such a group? If a couple struggling with infertility started attending your church, how long would it take for them to find others who share their struggle, and get the biblical help and Christian camaraderie they need?

• Give them truth, not just sympathy. This point comes from Debbie Costa, a biblical counselor and member of our church who is dealing with cancer. When asked how others can minister to hurting people, Debbie said, “I need more than sympathy; I need truth.” She quoted Psalm 61:2: “From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Sympathy is nice, but it doesn’t changes us. Truth can help us think and respond differently.
• Pray for them. If you know them well enough, ask how you can specifically pray for them. They might tell you that they’re waiting on test results, or deciding on treatment options, or making some difficult financial decisions, etc. On their behalf, appeal to the One who is truly in control of the outcomes (Ephesians 1:11).
• Be careful when asking people “why don’t you have kids yet” or “when are you finally going to start your family?” If you’re thinking about posing those questions to a couple in their late 20s or older, understand that there may be some very private answers behind the questions. Are you close enough to this couple to have this conversation? If you are, consider having it (again, it’s often the elephant in the room). If not, let them bring it up if they choose.
• Maintain your friendships with them. Infertile couples can feel left behind as their friends and family members have children and begin new lives. Don’t be afraid to invite them to activities that involve children. And don’t assume that they won’t want to go out to eat with you if you’re going to bring your kids, or if you’re pregnant again. Whether they come to activities or not should be up to them. Don’t make the decision for them by choosing to not invite them.

My wife was an early childhood education specialist who had worked with hundreds of children over several years’ time, and dealt with an amazing variety of behaviors. And yet, when she simply joined in a conversation that some young mothers were having about children, she was asked, “and how many children do you have?”—not in a way to invite her into the conversation, but as if to imply that she couldn’t relate since she didn’t have children of her own. Sadly, this wasn’t an isolated incident.

Such comments are almost certainly born out of ignorance more than malice, and we understand that. And developing a thick skin is part of handling this trial well. Insensitivity on the part of some does not justify over-sensitivity on the part of others. So the point here isn’t to say “shame on you if you ever hurt someone’s feelings.” The point is that you should never assume that childless couples (infertile or not) are unloving or completely inexperienced. You don’t need to be afraid to leave your children with us in the church nursery. Don’t assume we don’t know how to feed a baby from a bottle or change a diaper. Don’t automatically think we can’t be effective Sunday School teachers. We can be as compassionate and competent as anyone else. (Just to be clear: we know that there are indeed things we can never completely understand without having children in our home day in, day out for years.)

Infertility testing and treatment can cost thousands of dollars per round, and each time, there’s no guarantee of a positive outcome. Worse yet, it’s common for these tests and procedures to not be covered by insurance.

You may have heard of couples trying a procedure like in vitro fertilization—or similar procedures like GIFT (the latter was our choice). Did you know that such procedures cost about $15,000 and offer only a modest chance of success? On top of that, couples are recommended to commit to multiple cycles of some of these treatments.

If you think the adoption path is much better, think again. Domestic and international adoptions can easily cost $25,000-30,000. And while this may be more of a ‘sure thing’ than infertility treatments, the very decision of when to change paths from treatments to adoption can cause a lot of strain as well. How do you both agree to stop trying to have children?

Combine the difficulty of these financial decisions—which can recur for years—with the emotional rollercoaster of getting your hopes up and having them dashed, over, and over, and over, and over. Is it any surprise that some marital strain can result? The unifying desire of starting a family can eventually become a source of conflict when emotions are running high and decisions are not clear.

—
Contributions by Beth Nicholson

• “The year will see an increase in the number of people ‘coming out’ as nonbelievers” – Roy Speckhardt, executive director of the American Humanist Association
• “Hindu Americans will continue to become better advocates for themselves, particularly in the public policy arena” – Sheetal Shah, senior director of the Hindu American Foundation
• “There’s no question the worldview of most younger Christians already differs from previous generations regarding social justice, cultural engagement, and politics…” – Cameron Strang, publisher of Relevant Magazine
• “Women everywhere who have been oppressed by their religions will rise up as they have already done in Egypt…” – Sally Quinn, founder and editor-in-chief of Washington Post’s “On Faith”
• “’All American Muslim’ will become a bigger hit than “Jersey Shore” ever was…” – Maysoon Zayid, co-producer of the New York Arab American Comedy Festival

What Stands Out?

The question here isn’t whether any or all of these predictions might come true in 2012.  But notice carefully that when asked to predict the most important religious trends of the upcoming year, each contributor’s answer naturally gravitated to his/her particular frame of reference.  Why didn’t Roy Speckhardt predict the likelihood that Hindu Americans would become better advocates for themselves? Or why didn’t Sheetal Shah focus on the coming out of more Americans as non-believers?  It’s because we often find what we’re looking for.

From a Philosophical Perspective

Cornelius Van Til, long-time professor of apologetics at Westminister Seminary, championed the concept that there is no such thing as epistemological neutrality.  In other words, we all interpret life through the lens of our chosen source(s) of truth.  We always operate from a particular set of beliefs or presuppositions. In simpler terms, all facts are interpreted facts. Because Cameron Strang has a particular set of presuppositions about generational trends, when asked to predict the most important religious story of the upcoming year, he naturally answered from that frame of reference.  Maysoon Zayid came up with an entirely different answer because her frame of reference is so dramatically different.  You find what you’re looking for.

A Word of Caution to Counselors

Wise counselors spend significant time reading God’s Word and studying sound theology with the goal of expanding our pre-suppositional base.  If all facts are really interpreted facts, let’s be sure that the grid we bring to the counseling room is as robust and biblically comprehensive as possible.  Allowing Scripture to direct our gaze will help us find the things in our counselees’ lives, and in our own, that matter the most.

The issue here: How does a person get a ‘glad’ heart? How can we say what the Psalmist wrote?: “Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices“. (Psalm 16:9)

Focus on Who God Is

God is our Creator and the maker of the heavens and the earth (Isaiah 51:13). Genesis 1 and 2 make it very clear that man was God’s idea, and God had the will and power to make it happen – and He did. The fact that God breathed into Adam the breath of life (Genesis 2:7) is amazing. God didn’t have to do what He did, God chose to do it. Because God created us, we have full confidence that He knows all there is to know about us, and He has a plan for our lives. He is the Potter, and we are the clay (Isaiah 64:8 “But now, O LORD, You are our Father, we are the clay, and You our potter; and all of us are the work of Your hand“). We, as the clay, do not tell the Potter what to do; the Potter tells us what to do (Romans 9:21 “Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for common use?“).

When we really focus on Who God is, we can rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory (1 Peter 1:8). Our joy comes in knowing that the Creator wants to have a relationship with us, and He wants that relationship to be growing stronger and better each day.

Focus on God’s Purpose

Since God is the Creator, we can look to Him for our purpose in life. His purpose is for us to bring glory to God as ‘image bearers’ of the One who created us. In all that we do, and all that we think, we can and should bring glory to God. We will find our joy in fulfilling His purpose for our lives, not our purpose (which is usually selfish and self-centered). If we are fulfilling the purpose for which the Creator created us, we can rejoice and be glad in it. We can have confidence that His way is the best way, and as we submit to Him, we will find joy in doing what the Creator designed us to do.

Focus on What He is Able To Do

When we stop and think about what the God of the heavens is able to do, it’s not only overwhelming, it gives us great reason for a glad heart. Our God is able to do whatever He wants to do because He has the ability, and power, to do whatever He wants. That’s why the heavens declare the glory of God – they give the right opinion of God’s power! No matter what we are facing, we need to remember Ephesians 3:20 “Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us“. We can be glad and rejoice that God is omnipotent, and He is able to help us; He wants to help us bring glory to Him and fulfill His purpose for our lives.

At times however we’re faced with trials that seem determined to stay, determined to suck the life out of us, little by little. The husband who sits in front of the tv each night and fails to lead the family, the wife who struggles with bouts of severe depression, the back pain that will never get better.

Perhaps you know what it’s like to be besieged – to have an enemy encamped around you who wants to see you starve to death inside your fortified walls. Sieges generally offer constant, low intensity conflict and take place over long periods of time. But just because the conflict is low intensity, it doesn’t mean the anguish is low intensity. In many ways, sieges can be harder to face than the kind of trials which are incredibly painful but which we know won’t last forever.

As you live under siege, you find your life has become the life of Psalm 31. Tears blur your eyes. Your body and soul are withering away. You are dying from grief; your years are shortened by sadness. Sin has drained your strength; you are wasting away from within. (Ps. 31: 9-10, NLT)

Yet as we continue in Psalm 31 we find that God shows wonderful love to those who live in besieged cities (vs. 21). He hears their cry for mercy. As we cry out to him we find that when it looked like our pantries were being emptied and our supplies depleted and eroded, God has stored up for us bounty of which we were unaware – he has stored up goodness for those who come to him. God has been stocking his storehouse with goodness for you. And rather than rationing out this goodness, God intends to distribute it lavishly (vs. 19). So when it seems as if you would starve to death, as you cry out and trust in Jesus, you find that a banquet has been prepared for you, a feast from the storehouses of God.

In their blindness, your enemies camped at your home and planned to slowly suck the life out of you. They gloated at the thought of you starving within your fortified walls. Little did they know that your bread is the bread of life and your food is supplied by the one who upholds the cause of the oppressed. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. In your weakness and weariness you can expect that he will give you strength and power. He is always with you and he holds you by your right hand. Thus, as you cling to him you are able to bow before the Lord in awe and proclaim as in Psalm 73:

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
(Ps. 73:25-26 NIV)

We must admit, however, that infertility often has a medical component as well as a spiritual component. That is why I have asked Dr. Dan Wickert to give us a little more information on the types of treatments that are available to couples. Before we get to the details I want to begin with two introductory comments:

1. There is nothing below about cost. Different types of insurance coverage will cover different types of treatment. It is always wise to check with your insurance provides and with your attending physicians to ensure you understand how much you will be responsible to pay.
2. There is also nothing below about the relative moral rightness or wrongness about a certain treatment. Each reader, church, and couple will need to decide what they believe would be a proper moral act and what, if anything, would not be a proper moral act. After all, the fact that something is legal does not make it right.

Dr. Wickert is a board certified OB/GYN and has been in practice for 26 years. He provides care in general obstetrics, gynecology, and with couples struggling with infertility. He also serves as a deacon at Faith and on the teaching/counseling staff at the church.

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Introduction to Infertility Treatment

Infertility treatment begins by gathering a few basic facts including: a sperm count, hysterosalpingogram (an x-ray evaluation of the shape of the cavity of the uterus or inside of the uterus along with an evaluation of the patency or openness of the fallopian tubes), and some measure to evaluate if and how well the woman ovulates. Evaluation of ovulatory function could include basal body temperature charts, lab work, or urinary evaluation. In other words, I attempt to understand if there are any physical issues that might make pregnancy more difficult to achieve. This initial evaluation allows me to develop a plan for the best treatment options, potentially involving a specialist in infertility for advanced, high tech alternatives.

Infertility is not always traced back to the female. Sometimes a male has a very low sperm count, making pregnancy more difficult to achieve. When this is the case, I normally refer the man to a urologist to identify possible causes and treatment options.

Infertility Treatment Options

There are many different options available to couples. Here are six of the most common.

#1. Fertility drugs

In some cases, fertility drugs are all that is necessary. These drugs are intended for women who are not ovulating or not ovulating well. This would primarily include those women with cycles longer than 35 to 40 days.

There are two primary classes of fertility drugs: oral or injectable. There are significant differences between these two classes. We usually start with the oral drugs, which are typically taken for 5 days early in the cycle. This carries a risk of twins of 5-10% and a risk of triplets of less than 1%. There are multiple doses that are possible, and occasionally ultrasound is used to evaluate whether the medication is working appropriately. Often basal body temperature graphing is done along with urine and blood testing.

The other type, injectable fertility drugs, are often managed by the fertility specialist. These drugs require daily injections, blood work, and ultrasound to determine both the size and timing of the next intramuscular injection to promote ovulation. Success to achieve ovulation is determined by ultrasound and blood testing. The multiple pregnancy rate ranges from 20 to 40%. These drugs are usually associated with the pregnancies with more than twins.

One last note on fertility drugs is the success rate. Ovulation occurs with either treatment up to 85% of the time, but the pregnancy rate is much lower.

#2. Donor sperm

While everyone would need to think this through from a moral perspective, one of the options is the use of donor sperm. For husbands with little or no sperm and no successful medical treatment, the use of donor sperm is available. This sperm is usually collected and then frozen. The donor is tested for any infection at the time of collection and then tested at a later date to confirm there was no infection (primarily sexually transmitted infections).

#3. Donor Egg

Another option is the use of a donor egg. Again, each couple would need to think about this, but the process is available. In this case, an egg from another woman can be used to achieve a pregnancy with the husband’s sperm or even donor sperm. Physicians sometimes recommend this treatment when a woman is unable to ovulate due to ovarian damage, or when a woman has a known genetic defect that might be harmful if transmitted to her children.

#4. Surrogacy

This is the instance when another woman would serve as the surrogate. This woman would become pregnant, experience all the symptoms of pregnancy, and deliver the child. After delivery the surrogate then gives the baby to the parents. The surrogate in some instances could use her own egg to achieve pregnancy, or could use a donor egg and donor sperm to achieve pregnancy. There are some serious challenges here represented by various legal cases, and we surely would not want surrogacy through adultery.  But the issue of surrogacy might be a topic raised by an attending physician.

#5. Advanced technologies.

Maybe the most popular way to deal with infertility is through advanced technologies. There are a several different types of them.

The first, and most common, is invitro fertilization (IVF). In IVF, the egg is removed from the ovary, placed together with sperm in a laboratory to produce an embryo, which at the appropriate time is then placed back into the uterus where implantation hopefully occurs. If implantation does occur, the woman would experience the remainder of the pregnancy,  including delivery. I make it sound very simple, but it is much more complicated and technical, requiring sophisticated laboratory services.

The success rate per cycle is dependent on a number of factors including the age of the mother. The success rate for achieving a pregnancy is typically quoted at around 25% per cycle attempted.

The second advanced technology, called GIFT, is the process by which the egg and sperm are placed in the fallopian tube where pregnancy occurs and then proceeds to the uterus.

The third, called ZIFT, is the process in which the early pregnancy from the union of egg and sperm is done in the laboratory, and the embryo is subsequently placed in the fallopian tube and then proceeds to the uterus.

#6. Adoption of Fertilized eggs

When the word adoption is used, one normally thinks about adopting a child that has been born or is near birth. However, it is possible to adopt a frozen embryo. The program is called the snowflake program. This program allows a couple to adopt a frozen embryo pregnancy. In the process of IVF many times multiple eggs were fertilized. The best appearing early pregnancies from 2-4 were then placed back into the uterus. As part of this process there were many early pregnancies that developed to a certain stage of a number of cells and were then frozen. This adoption program would allow a woman to go through a pregnancy experiencing all the stages of pregnancy, including delivery.

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In a later post I (Rob) will have a testimony from a couple who tried some of these treatments but was never able to have a child. However, God has blessed them with children through two different adoptions less than one year apart.