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	<title>Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</title>
	
	<link>http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling</link>
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		<title>Emphasizing the Identity OF Jesus</title>
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		<comments>http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2012/10/emphasizing-the-identity-of-jesus/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Oct 2012 13:12:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rob Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[The Counseling Process]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gospel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Identity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Identity in Christ]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jesus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Union with Christ]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=941</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This post was originally posted on the Biblical Counseling Coalition site. The last few years have seen a significant rise in the importance of helping a counselee understand his or her identity IN Christ. We have welcomed (okay, many of us) &#8230; <a href="http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2012/10/emphasizing-the-identity-of-jesus/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This post was originally posted on the Biblical Counseling Coalition site.</p>
<p>The last few years have seen a significant rise in the importance of helping a counselee understand his or her identity IN Christ. We have welcomed (okay, many of us) this emphasis with open arms recognizing that this was an important emphasis in the Scriptures. Practically speaking, when a person understands their identity they are able to love because they are loved by Jesus, they are able to respond with grace because that is how Jesus responds to them, and they are able to be compassionate and merciful because<br />
that is what they receive from Jesus.</p>
<p>But the Bible emphasizes not only our identity IN Christ, but the identity OF Christ. I would like to suggest that the more we reflect on the identity OF Jesus the more we will appreciate Jesus, the more we will want to run to Jesus in the midst of our suffering, and the more receptive we will be to love Jesus with all our mind, soul, and strength (Matt. 22:37), and the more we will respond like Jesus in the midst of our challenges and victories.</p>
<p>While the identity OF Jesus can be found in many places in the NT, the pride of place belongs to the four gospel books. John explains that the reason he writes is “so that you may believe that Jesus IS the Christ (Messiah), the Son of God; and that believing you may have life in His name.” In other words, one of the two primary purposes of the entire gospel of John is so that you might know the identity OF Jesus. Similarly Luke explains that his book is for the purpose of knowing “the exact truth about the things you have<br />
been taught.” While Luke’s statement goes beyond the identity OF Jesus in the “things you have been taught,” it only takes a surface reading of Luke to understand that the identity OF Jesus is crucial to his purposes. Matthew quotes the OT on numerous occasions in order to prove that Jesus is the Messiah. Finally, Mark also begins his gospel, not with a statement of Jesus’ birth, but with a quotation from Isaiah 40:3 and Malachi 3:1 showing that Jesus is Messiah, the Son of God. What is often helpful to remember is that all the gospels were written long after the events occurred (25-60 years). In some<br />
cases (e.g., Mark), the gospels were not primarily evangelistic. They were written to strengthen the faith of those already possessing the name of Christ. In other words, God thought it was important for believers to reflect on the identity OF Jesus.</p>
<p>While one post is not sufficient to cover the identity OF Jesus in the gospels, some of the more common identity truths include:</p>
<p>1. Jesus is Yahweh (the covenant name for God in the OT). The richness of that expression is practically boundless. Israel continually struggled to keep their responsibilities of the covenant. The covenant had to be affirmed on multiple occasions and in the striking metaphor Israel is the idolatrous Gomer and Yahweh is gracious and pursuing Hosea—a love story where the love flowed only in one direction.</p>
<p>2. Jesus is the Messiah. Jesus is the deliverer and the redeemer of His people.</p>
<p>3. Jesus is the Son of God and Son of Man. These titles gain their richness from the OT Scriptures that define them. Jesus is the one who receives the kingdom from the Father.</p>
<p>4. Jesus is the Suffering Servant. The servant songs in Isaiah find their fulfillment in the person of Jesus.</p>
<p>5. Jesus is God because he does things that only God can do. He forgives sin, he exercises authority over the Mosaic Law (the Sabbath), and in fact abolishes it.</p>
<p>6. Jesus is our substitute. All four gospels commit about 25% of their space to explain the death, burial, resurrection, and appearances of Jesus. Jesus pays for our sin and humbly endures the wrath of God designed for us.</p>
<p>In our counseling and one another ministry, people need to be enamored with Jesus. They need to love Jesus more than anything else. It is their love for Jesus that will drive them to radical behavior (grace instead of wrath, compassion instead of anger, mercy instead of judgment, love instead of hate, and forgiveness instead of resentment). The gospels, accounting for more than 40% of NT literature (by word count), show that one of the way to get that done, is to emphasize the identity OF Jesus. May we follow suit.</p>
<p>Join the conversation: How have you used the gospels in order to help your counselees love Jesus more?</p>
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		<title>When the Counselor Becomes the Counselee</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CounselingWithConfidenceAndCompassion/~3/UDXKpV5Rrz8/</link>
		<comments>http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2012/07/when-the-counselor-becomes-the-counselee/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 25 Jul 2012 17:05:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Guest Blogger</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[The Counseling Process]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[counseling process]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=920</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Contributed by Joel Bertles One-on-one ministry is extremely intimidating! I am often overwhelmed with the feeling that this encounter is too weighty and significant to handle on my own. I want to call out for help from he one of &#8230; <a href="http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2012/07/when-the-counselor-becomes-the-counselee/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>Contributed by Joel Bertles</em></p>
<p>One-on-one ministry is extremely intimidating! I am often overwhelmed with the feeling that this encounter is too weighty and significant to handle on my own. I want to call out for help from he one of the well-seasoned pastors who are my mentors. It’s so intimidating for a number of reasons:</p>
<ol>
<li>I can’t prepare for what is going to be discussed in the meeting. Conversations are organic, and people’s lives are full of unexpected turns.</li>
<li>I feel the pressure to have an immediate answer to whatever ails are brought into our meeting.</li>
<li>I am not enough to fix my counselee’s problems.</li>
</ol>
<p>Each of these points make me feel quite inadequate to be leading these kinds of meetings.<span id="more-920"></span></p>
<h2>Each of my fears show me that I need the same thing as my counselee.</h2>
<p>In the end, each of my fears show me that I need the same thing as my counselee. I need to have a deep and abiding trust in my God. I need to learn that God has a good purpose through this tough situation. I need to learn to humble myself by both giving up my desire for self-sufficiency and by relying on God to show up and help. I find myself being cut to the heart by the same truths I share with my counselees.</p>
<p>When I am meeting with someone who is foolish, it is so easy for me to look at their lives and act like the Pharisee in Luke 18:11 praying, “God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers.” However, when I take a look at my own life, I see all the ways that I have forsaken future blessings for temporary relief. Also, I expect results while refusing to work to their end, and I speak quickly without thinking. I am the fool! And I need to hear exactly the same thing my counselee needs. When I meet with someone who is anxious, it’s so easy to point out the speck in their eye while neglecting the log in my own eye (Matthew 7:3).</p>
<h2>I feel crushed under the weight of a burden I was never meant to carry.</h2>
<p>Many times, I have brought my own anxieties to that very meeting because I so clearly see my inadequacy to counsel. I also have trusted too much in my own strength instead of God’s. Of course I feel crushed under the weight of a burden I was never meant to carry. When I meet with someone who struggles with outbursts of anger, I find myself being frustrated with how their sin continues to inconvenience me! When I meet with someone who can’t see any hope for their situation, I doubt when they keep returning time and time again without making progress.</p>
<h2>I am only a sinner saved by grace pointing to the Savior.</h2>
<p>God continually reminds me that I am only a sinner saved by grace pointing to the Savior. I am so grateful for this constant reminder that I need God. I pray that He would always keep my need for His grace at the forefront of my mind lest I begin to turn my counselee’s gaze away from our Savior towards myself.</p>
<p>What has God been teaching you as you seek to minister His word to others? I would love to hear about it and interact with you in the comments below.</p>
<address> </address>
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		<title>What is God’s favorite color?</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CounselingWithConfidenceAndCompassion/~3/yeP5-6aUzA4/</link>
		<comments>http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2012/05/what-is-god%e2%80%99s-favorite-color/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 01 May 2012 14:08:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Bob Smith</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=914</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[One of the privileges in my life is walking.  It is also a requirement for my physical strength (which is shot) and my intellectual strength (which also is shot).  In addition, when one has lived and does live a sedentary &#8230; <a href="http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2012/05/what-is-god%e2%80%99s-favorite-color/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>One of the privileges in my life is walking.  It is also a requirement for my physical strength (which is shot) and my intellectual strength (which also is shot).  In addition, when one has lived and does live a sedentary life, being outdoors is a very pleasant addition to the day.<span id="more-914"></span></p>
<p>Spring is a beautiful time to be outdoors.  The flowers and flowering trees are such a pleasant contrast to the drab winter.  The sky is so blue and as I thought about it, it seemed that blue must be God’s favorite color.  The sky is so vast and limitless and on some days the blue is so deep and yet so brilliant and beautiful.  Since the sky covers the entire earth and there is so much beautiful blue, that must be God’s favorite color.</p>
<p>But when I bring my eyes down from the sky all I see is green.  The trees are full of green leaves.  The green evergreens continue with their green.  The base of most plants that produce flowers is green.  Then there is the green grass.  In the spring the green of the grass is so lush.  In other parts of the world there is the green jungle and the rain forests which are so green.  Since the earth is covered with beautiful green vegetation, green must be God’s color.</p>
<p>Still another beauty in the Midwest is winter with the snow.  Watching snow fall and cover the ground is to beautiful.  But the most beautiful sight is when it is done and the trees, vegetation, ground, drives, houses, etc., are covered with dazzling white snow.  What a beautiful sight.  The Bible helps with understanding that beauty with a superior description.  In Isaiah 1:18 God says sins that are red like crimson He will make like wool and sins that are like scarlet He will be make as white as snow.  Since God covers many parts of the earth with the beautiful snow that reminds us of His regeneration work, so white must be His favorite color.</p>
<p>Then I reflect on that Isaiah passage and become convinced my favorite color is God’s favorite color.  Mine is the crimson that is part of the Indiana University school colors of cream and crimson.  It is even mentioned in that verse in Isaiah.  Red must be God’s favorite color since that is the color He gave blood when He created humanity.  That blood red color was what the Passover angel saw when he passed over the Israelites as they prepared to leave the bondage of Egypt.  God says that without the shedding of the red blood there is no payment for sins.  Putting that with what is taught in that Isaiah verse brings us to some interesting color concepts.  When the red blood of Christ is applied to our scarlet and crimson red sins they become white as snow.  That is an astounding miracle.  But it requires the red blood of Christ for it to happen.  So red must be God’s favorite color.</p>
<p>As I have reflected on these colors I have concluded that no one single color is God’s favorite color.  His favorite color is all of them as seen in the rainbow.  God delights in many colors as seen in the description of the fabulous colors of the jewels on the foundation of the New Jerusalem in Revelation 21:19-21.  His favorite color is very like a mixture of colors.  I would suggest that His favorite color is the skin color of everyone who places their trust in His Son’s substitutionary death as a payment for their sins.  This color is so delightful to him that He has populated the earth with those colors and will spend eternity in fellowship with those people and their colors.  So you can probably say God’s favorite color is us.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Domestic Violence and the Image of God</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CounselingWithConfidenceAndCompassion/~3/0amqK7zyFps/</link>
		<comments>http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2012/04/domestic-violence-and-the-image-of-god/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 04 Apr 2012 02:57:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Guest Blogger</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage and Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[purpose]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=903</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This post was written by Chris Moles, a friend of Faith Biblical Counseling Ministries. He has experience working with convicted batterers and provides all of us with a helpful reminder whenever we attempt to minister to the victim or the &#8230; <a href="http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2012/04/domestic-violence-and-the-image-of-god/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
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		<title>5 Reasons the 2012 BCTC Was Totally Awesome</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/CounselingWithConfidenceAndCompassion/~3/tLO27R5Ag2w/</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 21 Feb 2012 22:29:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rob Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BCTC]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[biblical counseling training conference]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=893</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[First, let me say thank you to those who made the effort to attend the Biblical Counseling Training Conference this year. It was truly an awesome week. Quite frankly, when I came into work on Saturday, I was met with &#8230; <a href="http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2012/02/5-reasons-the-2012-bctc-was-totally-awesome/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>First, let me say thank you to those who made the effort to attend the Biblical Counseling Training Conference this year. It was truly an awesome week. Quite frankly, when I came into work on Saturday, I was met with the reality that I was in the building alone. Just 24 hours earlier, this place was teeming with people. We could not help miss the wonderful time we had together. Hopefully, this article will bring back sweet memories. If you were not able to come to the BCTC this year, then maybe this will give you a taste of what God did here in Lafayette last week.<span id="more-893"></span><strong></strong></p>
<h2>#1. The Lord was working</h2>
<p>You could see it as the Lord used session after session to touch the hearts and lives of people. Lines formed at the end of the sessions not to debate or antagonize the speaker, but to thank them for their ministry. In some cases the guests expressed hope in the midst of hardship, joy in their union with Christ, and excitement in the ministry tools they were learning. God was also breaking hearts and bringing about repentance. Last week, God worked in the lives of his people, encouraging them on in the path of becoming like Jesus.</p>
<h2>#2. We all were rejoicing during the worship services, during the track sessions, and during breaks</h2>
<p>Just look at some of the faces from this year’s conference (this is the video, but if you prefer the stills, check out the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150555868133506.375656.286127038505&amp;type=1">album</a>).</p>
<p><iframe width="620" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/XNFQlOqc8ms?fs=1&#038;feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></p>
<h2>#3. We all were thinking about how we need to grow first</h2>
<p>One of the highlights for me is hearing the number of people tell me that they need to be a godly husband, or wife, or parent. Maybe they need to forgive. Maybe they need to run to Jesus in the midst of their trial. Maybe they need to walk in the light. As people tell these stories it is encouraging, convicting, and an opportunity for prayer.</p>
<h2>#4. There were tons of planning meetings about how this could strengthen individual ministries</h2>
<p>I had the chance to meet with two different churches last week. Both churches were actively doing the same thing – they were seeking to understand how biblical counseling could be used to glorify God and strengthen his people. Don’t you just love that? These are established churches that have lots of wonderful things already going. Yet, they were asking how they could be good stewards in the personal, one on one ministry of the Word found in biblical counseling. I don&#8217;t know if I was able to be an asset to them, but I do know that I walked away from the conversation encouraged.</p>
<h2>#5. Over 1,700 people who love Jesus were seeking to love others more</h2>
<p>I also loved the attitude of the people. No one was being snarky or rude. They were seeking answers so that they might be able to do what Jesus said in Matthew 22:37-40, love God first and then your neighbor as yourself.</p>
<p>It is difficult to put into words the wonderful time that we had together at the BCTC. These were just 5 of my highlights. Please comment and share some of yours.</p>
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		<title>5 Things to Expect from the Biblical Counseling Training Conference</title>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 10 Feb 2012 19:01:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BCTC]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[biblical counseling training conference]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conference]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[training]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=886</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Here are a five things you can expect when you attend the BCTC at Faith Church in 2012: 1.  A focus on God (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) and His written Word.  Our supreme goal is to bring our God glory and please &#8230; <a href="http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2012/02/5-things-to-expect-from-the-biblical-counseling-training-conference/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Here are a five things you can expect when you attend the BCTC at Faith Church in 2012:</p>
<p><strong>1.  A focus on God (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) and His written Word. </strong> Our supreme goal is to bring our God glory and please the Lord Jesus Christ in what and how we think, speak, and do – everything!  His word is alive and active, providing a light unto our path that is profitable for life and godliness.</p>
<p><strong>2.  An emphasis on personal spiritual growth.  </strong>Influencing others spiritually begins with a transparent, growing vessel ready to be used by our Savior.  Your well must contain water if you plan to give water to one who is thirsty.  One of our goals is to help “fill your well” during this week.</p>
<p><strong>3.  A staff and church family that counts it a privilege to serve you with the love of Christ. </strong>We love this annual conference week around here for several reasons, not the least of which is that we get to serve some amazing people.</p>
<p><strong>4.</strong> <strong>Energy!</strong> When You get over 1,700 people together who love God and want to grow personally in their walk with Christ and in their ability to effectively impact people with God&#8217;s word, you get a &#8220;spiritual energy&#8221; that truly nourishes your soul.</p>
<p><strong>5. Friends, Food, and Fun</strong>.  New friends are made, existing friendships are strengthened, and people have a great time.  Oh, and the plan is to have plenty of snackage.  Some healthy, and some&#8230;well&#8230;good to the taste.</p>
<p>Conference guests/friends:  We look forward to seeing you, serving, and getting to know you on February 12-17, 2012. (Still making travel plans? Our <a title="BCTC Travel" href="http://www.faithlafayette.org/conferences/all/biblical_counseling_training_conference/travel/">travel page</a> has some information that may help.)</p>
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		<title>The Incomparable Yahweh—The Solution to Idolatry</title>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 08 Feb 2012 02:49:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Brent Aucoin</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=880</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Since Genesis 3, people created in the image of God instinctively reversed their role. We who are made in God’s image now attempt to make god in our image according to our desires. The essence of the problem is our &#8230; <a href="http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2012/02/the-incomparable-yahweh%e2%80%94the-solution-to-idolatry/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Since Genesis 3, people created in the image of God instinctively reversed their role. We who are made in God’s image now attempt to <strong><em>make god</em></strong> in our image according to our desires. The essence of the problem is our self-exalting pride—believing that other people exist for us to rule over, to heap accolades on us, to bring us pleasure. And, as we behold creation, it too exists so that we might have maximum enjoyment of its food, conveniences, and delights. Moreover, if we acknowledge God’s existence, He also is expected to bow to our every whim of pleasure as a commandable genie. This dynamic lies at the root of all of our personal addictions and interpersonal conflicts.</p>
<p>Idolatry is the perversion of our delight in God into enslaving delights of the created order (pleasures, power, praise of man, possessions, peace; Romans 1:21–32). When our hearts are fixated on the fleeting pleasures of this world, our ability to perceive this world (and its people) through any other lens than the pleasure afforded us is constricted. We will not be able to perceive God in our hard circumstances. We will not be able to perceive the needs of others in our encounters. And therefore, idolatry is no less than a reversal of the two greatest commandments to love God and love others.<span id="more-880"></span></p>
<p>Our forefathers in the faith, Israel, struggled just as much as we do with idolatry. Israel’s millennium-long violation of “have no other god before me”(i.e. the <strong><em>first</em></strong> commandment, Exodus 20:2) brought God’s severe discipline.  In the Scriptures, Israel is metaphorically pictured as “blind” and “deaf”— like the idols in which they delighted (Psalm 135:14-18). The picture of Israel being “blind” and “deaf” is precisely the judgment pronounced by Yahweh in Isaiah 6:9–13 (they will “hear but not hear, see but not see”—i.e. they will be blind and deaf). In contrast to Isaiah who <strong><em>saw</em></strong> and <strong><em>heard</em></strong> the thrice Holy God (Isaiah 6), Israel could only <strong><em>see</em></strong> the blind and deaf stone objects which they hoped could bring them their much desired delights.</p>
<p>Isaiah’s sight was not constricted. He fully <strong><em>saw</em></strong> and <strong><em>heard</em></strong> the incomparable Yahweh who is unlike any pleasure or created enjoyment in this universe. He saw the <strong>HOLY</strong>, <strong>HOLY</strong>, <strong>HOLY</strong>, God—high and lifted up. He saw and heard The God Who is <strong><em>not</em></strong> like cheesecake. He saw and heard The God Who is <strong><em>not</em></strong> like fame. He saw and heard The God Who is <strong><em>not</em></strong> like sexual pleasure. He saw and heard The God Who is <strong><em>not</em></strong> like entertainment. He saw and heard The God Who is <strong><em>not</em></strong> like affection. He saw The God Who is unlike anything or anyone else! This, then, is the essential meaning of “Holy.”</p>
<p>Beholding the Incomparable Yahweh was also Isaiah’s <strong><em>prescription</em></strong> for idolatrous Israel (and us). After seventy years of blind and deaf Israel contemplating the reasons for her exile, Isaiah unleashes a vision of the Incomparable Yahweh in Isaiah 40:12–31. This holy passage is unlike any other in Scripture. Isaiah invites the hearer to ask himself, “Who or What is like Yahweh?” Isaiah invites the blind idolater to see Yahweh in all of His incomparable glory.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand?<br />
And marked off the heavens by the span?<br />
And calculated the dust of the earth by the measure?<br />
And weighed the mountains in a balance?<br />
And the hills in a pair of scales?<br />
Who has directed the Spirit of the Lord?<br />
Or as His counselor has informed Him?<br />
With whom did He consult and <em>who </em>gave Him understanding?<br />
And <em>who </em>taught Him in the path of justice and taught Him knowledge?<br />
And informed Him of the way of understanding?<br />
Behold, the nations are like a drop from a bucket,<br />
And are regarded as a speck of dust on the scales;<br />
Behold, He lifts up the islands like fine dust.<br />
Even Lebanon is not enough to burn,<br />
Nor its beasts enough for a burnt offering.<br />
All the nations are as nothing before Him,<br />
They are regarded by Him as less than nothing and meaningless.<br />
To whom then will you liken God?<br />
Or what likeness will you compare with Him?<br />
<em>As for </em>the idol, a craftsman casts it,<br />
A goldsmith plates it with gold,<br />
And a silversmith <em>fashions </em>chains of silver.<br />
He who is too impoverished for <em>such </em>an offering<br />
Selects a tree that does not rot;<br />
He seeks out for himself a skillful craftsman<br />
To prepare an idol that will not totter.<br />
Do you not know? Have you not heard?<br />
Has it not been declared to you from the beginning?<br />
Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth?<br />
It is He who sits above the circle of the earth…(Excerpt from Isaiah 40:12-31)</p>
<p>Beholding the incomparable Yahweh is the only solution to blinding idolatry. When we see God for who He is, how then can we compare Him to cheesecake, fame, sexual pleasure, entertainment, and affection as if these were more desirable?</p>
<p>In the comments below would you offer your suggestions as to how you help your counselee “behold the Incomparable Yahweh” from the Scripture and thereby be rescued from enslaving idolatry?</p>
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		<title>5 Things Infertile Couples Want Friends, Families, and Churches to Know</title>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Jan 2012 16:21:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Brian Nicholson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Marriage and Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[adoption]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Infertility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[suffering]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trials]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=869</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Let’s face it: infertility is awkward for everybody involved. Friends and family members often don’t know whether to broach the subject at all, let alone know what to say. Childless couples want some help and support, but they are often &#8230; <a href="http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2012/01/5-things-infertile-couples-want-friends-families-and-churches-to-know/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Let’s face it: infertility is awkward for everybody involved. Friends and family members often don’t know whether to broach the subject at all, let alone know what to say. Childless couples want some help and support, but they are often silent about their struggle (as Rob Green pointed out in <a href="http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2011/09/infertility-silent-but-very-painful-suffering/">his first post in this series</a>). Churches know the issue exists, but often don’t quite know what to do about it. What we’re left with is the proverbial elephant in the room. Well, let’s talk about that elephant.</p>
<p>We dealt with infertility for about 9 years before we adopted. We now have 2 children, and while we’re still technically dealing with infertility, that issue is mostly behind us. We cannot speak for all infertile couples (we welcome additions, subtractions, or other comments on this post), but we wanted to use our own experience—with the input of friends who have experienced infertility as well—to be very straight-up about what infertile couples want their family, friends, and churches to know.<span id="more-869"></span></p>
<div>
<h2>You probably know someone who’s dealing with infertility, even if you don’t know it.</h2>
</div>
<p>How common is infertility? One in ten couples of childbearing age face infertility, <a href="http://www.americanpregnancy.org/infertility/fertilityfaq.html">according to The American Pregnancy Association</a>. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention provides a similar statistic, saying that <a href="http://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/Infertility/index.htm#2">over 6 million US women age 15-44 experience infertility</a>. Since many infertile couples suffer in silence, you need to trust the statistics. We’re not necessarily urging you to seek to identify these couples; we’re simply saying that in all likelihood, you <em>do</em> have some infertile couples in your life.</p>
<div>
<h2>Your church can&#8211;and should&#8211;minister to couples struggling with infertility.</h2>
</div>
<p>Some very simple decisions make the difference between your church <em>helping</em> infertile couples or pushing them away. To determine how you’re doing, consider these questions:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>When you celebrate events like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, do you acknowledge—briefly—that while this is a day of rejoicing for many, it’s a day of mourning for others?</strong> These events can be <em>brutal </em>for infertile couples, since the purpose is to celebrate the beauty of a wonderful relationship that they are constantly being denied.To be clear, we’re not suggesting that the presence of a few childless couples in your church should drag down the entire celebration. We just think this is a great opportunity to follow Paul’s admonition in Romans 12:15 to rejoice with those who are rejoicing, and mourn with those who are mourning. Our pastor does a fantastic job of striking an appropriate balance. He focuses on the celebration, but he also reminds the congregation that there are people for whom this day is difficult, and he prays for such couples. Just a few words can go a long way toward making infertile couples feel like part of the church family on those days. It’s appropriate for infertile couples to obey the first half of Romans 12:15, especially on days designated as celebrations; but it’s equally appropriate for the rest of your church body to obey the second half in some small way.</li>
<li><strong>Are infertile couples welcome in the classes and/or small groups that their peers attend</strong>, or are they encouraged to attend elsewhere because they’re “not a family yet?” Don’t exclude these couples from family-oriented classes. They may have some of their closest Christian friends in those classes; but also, these couples may have children any time, and can therefore benefit from your family-focused lessons. Maybe they’ll ultimately decide to try a different class, but why not let them decide?</li>
<li><strong>Are you providing ready counsel and classes to address the weighty moral questions these couples will face? </strong>It’s likely that their doctor will strongly suggest things like implanting several embryos with the intent to “selectively reduce if needed.” The couple may have to make decisions about whether to use donor eggs, sperm, or embryos. They may be asked whether they want to freeze some of their embryos. They may wonder whether setting out on a treatment path costing tens of thousands of dollars is good stewardship. The opportunities to help these couples make biblically informed decisions and solidify their beliefs are tremendous; don’t miss them.<div class="simplePullQuote">If a couple struggling with infertility started attending your church, how long would it take for them to find others who share their struggle, and get the biblical help and Christian camaraderie they need?</div>In addition to counsel and classes, these couples may need to talk with others going through similar challenges. Has your church done anything to facilitate such a group? If a couple struggling with infertility started attending your church, how long would it take for them to find others who share their struggle, and get the biblical help and Christian camaraderie they need? <strong></strong></li>
</ul>
<div>
<h2>How to be a blessing to infertile couples</h2>
</div>
<ul>
<li><strong>Give them truth, not just sympathy</strong>. This point comes from Debbie Costa, a biblical counselor and member of our church who is dealing with cancer. When asked how others can minister to hurting people, Debbie <a href="http://www.faithlafayette.org/resources/info/debbie_costas_testimony/">said</a>, “I need more than sympathy; I need truth.” She quoted Psalm 61:2: “From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Sympathy is nice, but it doesn’t changes us. Truth can help us think and respond differently.</li>
<li><strong>Pray for them</strong>. If you know them well enough, ask how you can <em>specifically</em> pray for them. They might tell you that they’re waiting on test results, or deciding on treatment options, or making some difficult financial decisions, etc. On their behalf, appeal to the One who is truly in control of the outcomes (Ephesians 1:11).</li>
<li><strong>Be careful when asking people “why don’t you have kids yet” or “when are you finally going to start your family?”</strong> If you’re thinking about posing those questions to a couple in their late 20s or older, understand that there may be some very private answers behind the questions. Are you close enough to this couple to have this conversation? If you are, consider having it (again, it’s often the elephant in the room). If not, let them bring it up if they choose.</li>
<li><strong>Maintain your friendships with them.</strong> Infertile couples can feel left behind as their friends and family members have children and begin new lives. Don’t be afraid to invite them to activities that involve children. And don’t assume that they won’t want to go out to eat with you if you’re going to bring your kids, or if you’re pregnant again. Whether they come to activities or not should be up to them. Don’t make the decision for them by choosing to not invite them.</li>
</ul>
<div>
<h2>Infertile couples are not completely clueless when it comes to children.</h2>
</div>
<p>My wife was an early childhood education specialist who had worked with hundreds of children over several years’ time, and dealt with an amazing variety of behaviors. And yet, when she simply joined in a conversation that some young mothers were having about children, she was asked, “and how many children do <em>you</em> have?”—not in a way to invite her into the conversation, but as if to imply that she couldn’t relate since she didn’t have children of her own. Sadly, this wasn’t an isolated incident.</p>
<p>Such comments are almost certainly born out of ignorance more than malice, and we understand that. And developing a thick skin is part of handling this trial well. Insensitivity on the part of some does not justify over-sensitivity on the part of others. So the point here isn’t to say “shame on you if you ever hurt someone’s feelings.” The point is that you should never assume that childless couples (infertile or not) are unloving or completely inexperienced. You don’t need to be afraid to leave your children with us in the church nursery. Don’t assume we don’t know how to feed a baby from a bottle or change a diaper. Don’t automatically think we can’t be effective Sunday School teachers. We can be as compassionate and competent as anyone else. (Just to be clear: we know that there are indeed things we can never completely understand without having children in our home day in, day out for years.)</p>
<div>
<h2>Infertility can cause severe financial and marital strain, in addition to the emotional strain.</h2>
</div>
<p>Infertility testing and treatment can cost thousands of dollars per round, and each time, there’s no guarantee of a positive outcome. Worse yet, it’s common for these tests and procedures to <em>not</em> be covered by insurance.</p>
<p>You may have heard of couples trying a procedure like in vitro fertilization—or similar procedures like GIFT (the latter was our choice). Did you know that such procedures cost about $15,000 and offer only a modest chance of success? On top of that, couples are recommended to commit to multiple cycles of some of these treatments.</p>
<p><div class="simplePullQuote">It’s easy to say that a life is priceless, but would you say that about just the <em>possibility</em> of life?</div>So now we get to the kinds of financial questions infertile couples have to answer: how much money are we willing to spend to <em>try</em> to have a child? Should we sell our house? Take out a second mortgage? Move to a state that mandates that insurance covers infertility treatment? Skip vacations? How many rounds of procedures can we afford? Are we being good stewards of our money by spending tens of thousands on procedures, or should we be investing that money in savings, retirement, or charitable causes? It’s easy to say that a life is priceless, but would you say that about just the <em>possibility</em> of life?</p>
<p>If you think the adoption path is much better, think again. Domestic and international adoptions can easily cost $25,000-30,000. And while this may be more of a ‘sure thing’ than infertility treatments, the very decision of when to change paths from treatments to adoption can cause a lot of strain as well. How do you both agree to stop trying to have children?</p>
<p>Combine the difficulty of these financial decisions—which can recur for years—with the emotional rollercoaster of getting your hopes up and having them dashed, over, and over, and over, and over. Is it any surprise that some marital strain can result? The unifying desire of starting a family can eventually become a source of conflict when emotions are running high and decisions are not clear.</p>
<p><div class="simplePullQuote">Infertility isn’t a blank check for self-pity or lack of accountability. We need to be encouraged, but also exhorted.<strong></strong></div><strong>What can family, friends, and the church do about this? Simple: pray, encourage, exhort.</strong> If you have a close enough relationship with the husband or the wife, keep them accountable. Ask questions like, “how are you and your spouse doing? Are you praying together about these decisions (Philippians 4:6)? Are you showing submission to one another in the ways outlined in scripture?&#8221; Help them remember that God has a plan—not simply for their own temporary satisfaction, but for his glory and kingdom (Isaiah 55:8-9). They may need to take a hard look at whether their shared desire is indeed what God wants for them. Infertility isn’t a blank check for self-pity or lack of accountability. We need to be encouraged, but also exhorted.</p>
<p>&#8212;<br />
Contributions by Beth Nicholson</p>
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		<title>You’ll Find What You’re Looking For</title>
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		<comments>http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2012/01/youll-find-what-youre-looking-for/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:54:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steve Viars</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[The Counseling Process]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[interpretation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[presuppositions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[study]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=865</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[CNN’s Belief Blog recently asked a variety of religion and faith leaders to predict the way the forces of faith and faithlessness would shape the world in 2012.  Here’s a sample of the responses: &#8220;The year will see an increase &#8230; <a href="http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2012/01/youll-find-what-youre-looking-for/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>CNN’s Belief Blog recently asked a variety of religion and faith leaders to <a title="15 Faith-Based Predictions for 2012" href="http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2012/01/01/12-faith-based-predictions-for-2012/">predict the way the forces of faith and faithlessness would shape the world in 2012</a>.  Here’s a sample of the responses:</p>
<ul>
<li>&#8220;The year will see an increase in the number of people ‘coming out’ as nonbelievers&#8221; – Roy Speckhardt, executive director of the American Humanist Association</li>
<li>&#8220;Hindu Americans will continue to become better advocates for themselves, particularly in the public policy arena&#8221; – Sheetal Shah, senior director of the Hindu American Foundation</li>
<li>&#8220;There’s no question the worldview of most younger Christians already differs from previous generations regarding social justice, cultural engagement, and politics…&#8221; – Cameron Strang, publisher of Relevant Magazine</li>
<li>&#8220;Women everywhere who have been oppressed by their religions will rise up as they have already done in Egypt…&#8221; – Sally Quinn, founder and editor-in-chief of Washington Post’s &#8220;On Faith&#8221;</li>
<li>&#8220;’All American Muslim’ will become a bigger hit than &#8220;Jersey Shore&#8221; ever was…&#8221; – Maysoon Zayid, co-producer of the New York Arab American Comedy Festival</li>
</ul>
<h2>What Stands Out?</h2>
<p>The question here isn&#8217;t whether any or all of these predictions might come true in 2012. <span id="more-865"></span> But notice carefully that when asked to predict the most important religious trends of the upcoming year, each contributor&#8217;s answer naturally gravitated to his/her particular frame of reference.  Why didn&#8217;t Roy Speckhardt predict the likelihood that Hindu Americans would become better advocates for themselves? Or why didn&#8217;t Sheetal Shah focus on the coming out of more Americans as non-believers?  It&#8217;s because we often find what we&#8217;re looking for.</p>
<h2>From a Philosophical Perspective</h2>
<p>Cornelius Van Til, long-time professor of apologetics at Westminister Seminary, championed the concept that there is no such thing as epistemological neutrality.  In other words, we all interpret life through the lens of our chosen source(s) of truth.  We always operate from a particular set of beliefs or presuppositions. In simpler terms, all facts are interpreted facts. Because Cameron Strang has a particular set of presuppositions about generational trends, when asked to predict the most important religious story of the upcoming year, he naturally answered from that frame of reference.  Maysoon Zayid came up with an entirely different answer because her frame of reference is so dramatically different.  You find what you’re looking for.</p>
<h2>A Word of Caution to Counselors</h2>
<p><div class="simplePullQuote">Let&#8217;s be sure that the grid we bring to the counseling room is as robust and biblically comprehensive as possible.</div>This principle plays out dramatically in the counseling room.  If you believe mankind&#8217;s deepest need is greater self-esteem, you will typically interpret your counselee&#8217;s story through that particular grid whether the data naturally pointed to the issue of self-identity or not.  If you believe every counseling case always comes down to the issue of idolatry, your sessions will invariably focus on that particular issue.</p>
<p>Wise counselors spend significant time reading God&#8217;s Word and studying sound theology with the goal of expanding our pre-suppositional base.  If all facts are really interpreted facts, let&#8217;s be sure that the grid we bring to the counseling room is as robust and biblically comprehensive as possible.  Allowing Scripture to direct our gaze will help us find the things in our counselees&#8217; lives, and in our own, that matter the most.</p>
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		<title>How Can You Get a ‘Glad’ Heart Starting Today?</title>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 09 Dec 2011 15:50:47 +0000</pubDate>
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				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gladness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Joy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[peace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[purpose]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Have you ever wondered why some people seem so happy and joyful? Have you ever wondered what was going on in their mind or heart, or what circumstances they were experiencing that made them so happy? The more you watched &#8230; <a href="http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2011/12/how-can-you-get-a-glad-heart-starting-today/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Have you ever wondered why some people seem so happy and joyful? Have you ever wondered what was going on in their mind or heart, or what circumstances they were experiencing that made them so happy? The more you watched them, the more intense your questions became. On the other hand, have you wondered why some people are so unhappy and practically never joyful at any time? Have you wondered what was going on in <em>their</em> mind or heart, or what awful circumstances they were experiencing that made them so unhappy or downcast?</p>
<p>The issue here: <strong>How does a person get a ‘glad’ heart?</strong> How can we say what the Psalmist wrote?: &#8220;<em>Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices</em>&#8220;. (Psalm 16:9)<span id="more-771"></span></p>
<h2>Focus on Who God Is</h2>
<p>God is our Creator and the maker of the heavens and the earth (Isaiah 51:13). Genesis 1 and 2 make it very clear that man was God’s idea, and God had the will and power to make it happen &#8211; and He did. The fact that God breathed into Adam the breath of life (Genesis 2:7) is amazing. God didn’t have to do what He did, God chose to do it. Because God created us, we have full confidence that He knows all there is to know about us, and He has a plan for our lives. He is the Potter, and we are the clay (Isaiah 64:8 &#8220;<em>But now, O LORD, You are our Father, we are the clay, and You our potter; and all of us are the work of Your hand</em>&#8220;). We, as the clay, do not tell the Potter what to do; the Potter tells us what to do (Romans 9:21 &#8220;<em>Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for common use?</em>&#8220;).</p>
<p>When we really focus on Who God is, we can rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory (1 Peter 1:8). Our joy comes in knowing that the Creator wants to have a relationship with us, and He wants that relationship to be growing stronger and better each day.</p>
<h2>Focus on God’s Purpose</h2>
<p>Since God is the Creator, we can look to Him for our purpose in life. His purpose is for us to bring glory to God as ‘image bearers’ of the One who created us. In all that we do, and all that we think, we can and should bring glory to God. We will find our joy in fulfilling His purpose for our lives, not our purpose (which is usually selfish and self-centered). <strong><em>If we are fulfilling the purpose for which the Creator created us, we can rejoice and be glad in it</em></strong>. We can have confidence that His way is the best way, and as we submit to Him, we will find joy in doing what the Creator designed us to do.</p>
<p><div class="simplePullQuote">When we stop and think about what the God of the heavens is able to do, it’s not only overwhelming, it gives us great reason for a glad heart.</div>We don’t want to make the mistake of Romans 1:25 &#8220;<em>For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen</em>&#8220;. God is not only our Creator, He is our Lord, the only true and living God. He is faithful and loving; slow to anger and is willing to demonstrate plenty of mercy. He is a God of grace, and a God who is patient with our imperfections and in the process of our spiritual growth. He is holy (completely separate from sin, and does not have the ability to sin). He is loving and cares about our lives. He promised that He will never leave us nor forsake us as His children. He is sovereign and in total control of all the events in our lives.</p>
<h2>Focus on What He is Able To Do</h2>
<p>When we stop and think about what the God of the heavens is able to do, it’s not only overwhelming, it gives us great reason for a glad heart. Our God is able to do whatever He wants to do because He has the ability, and power, to do whatever He wants. That’s why the heavens declare the glory of God – they give the right opinion of God’s power! No matter what we are facing, we need to remember Ephesians 3:20 &#8220;<em>Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us</em>&#8220;. We can be glad and rejoice that God is omnipotent, and He is able to help us; He wants to help us bring glory to Him and fulfill His purpose for our lives.</p>
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