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	<title>Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</title>
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		<title>Learning to Love Waiting, Part 2</title>
		<link>https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/04/learning-to-love-waiting-part-2/</link>
					<comments>https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/04/learning-to-love-waiting-part-2/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Greg Wetterlin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Apr 2024 13:30:59 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[The Counseling Process]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Waiting]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=2520</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240320104758/amanda-jones-CcIIao_-Eow-unsplash-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>In part 1 we looked at Psalm 25:3 which promises that, “Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame; they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.” What an amazing positive promise to the those who wait for the Lord and also a warning to those who don’t wait on him (i.e.... <a class="read-more" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/04/learning-to-love-waiting-part-2/">read more</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/04/learning-to-love-waiting-part-2/">Learning to Love Waiting, Part 2</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling">Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240320104758/amanda-jones-CcIIao_-Eow-unsplash-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>In part 1 we looked at <strong>Psalm 25:3</strong> which promises that, “<em>Indeed, <u>none who wait for you shall be put to shame</u>; they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.”</em> What an amazing positive promise to the those who wait for the Lord and also a warning to those who don’t wait on him (i.e. those who are wantonly treacherous).</p>
<p>That promise in and of itself should be enough to get us to a point where we should WANT to wait on the Lord! But God gives us more promises to help us learn to love to wait on the Lord. So in case 1 promise wasn’t enough here are 2 more sweet promises that God makes to those who wait for him.</p>
<h2>1. God works for those who wait on him</h2>
<p><strong>Isaiah 64:4</strong> <em>From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, <u>who acts for those who wait for him</u>.</em></p>
<p>Bible believing Christians claim to believe that God is omnipotent (all-powerful) and that he is perfectly good in everything that he does. Therefore, if God promises to act (i.e. work) for those who wait for him why would you not want the all-powerful, perfectly good God to act for you!?</p>
<p>Here are some reasons why we may not want that:</p>
<ol>
<li>First, is the reason a blog post like this even needs to be written, we don’t like to wait. We may want God to act, but if he’s not going to act on our timetable, then I’m going to have to act on my own behalf to try and get what I want.</li>
<li>A second reason is because we don’t trust God to actually do what he says. We don’t believe that God will actually work for those who wait. As a result, we don’t wait. We may want the all-powerful, all good God to act, but we just don’t believe he will.</li>
<li>A third reason is because we don’t trust that God is actually all-powerful. So even if we wait for God to act, he doesn’t have the power to bring about the deliverance or help that I need. Therefore, I can’t afford to wait, I need to get acting myself to try and bring about my own deliverance.</li>
<li>A fourth reason is because we don’t trust that God is perfectly good. He may be all-powerful, but we don’t trust in his goodness to work for our good. Therefore, I can’t trust God’s actions to be beneficial for me so I must do it myself.</li>
</ol>
<p>All of those reasons for not waiting come down to I trusting myself, my logic, and my experience over what God has clearly told me in his word. In one word that attitude is PRIDE. And God says that <em>“[he] opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble”</em> (<strong>James 4:6</strong>). In other words, God will also act when people exalt themselves in pride, but those actions are not like the ones that he promises to those who wait for him.</p>
<p>In Psalm 35 David is crying out to God for help and deliverance. <strong>Psalm 35:5–6</strong> says, “<em>Let them be like chaff before the wind, <u>with the angel of the LORD driving them away!</u> <sup>6</sup> Let their way be dark and slippery, <u>with the angel of the LORD pursuing them!</u></em><u>”</u> Then in v.9 David says, “<em>Then my soul will rejoice in the Lord, exulting in his salvation.”</em> David prays that God would act, and he anticipates God acting and after being delivered by the Lord David says that he will rejoice in the Lord and exult in his salvation. David is going to do that because his salvation has come from the Lord’s actions and not his!</p>
<p>David praises God in <strong>Psalm 40:5</strong> saying “<em>You have multiplied, O LORD my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, <u>yet they are more than can be told.”</u></em></p>
<p>God’s wonderous deeds are more than can be told! That certainly isn’t the case with our actions. Even for the “impressive people” who have really accomplished a lot in their life, their wonderous deeds could certainly be recounted&#8230;and also significantly tempered by recounting all of their shameful, wicked deeds. But the Lord’s deeds couldn’t even be recounted because they are so vast, and he has no wickedness at all to temper any of his deeds! To the one who waits on the Lord, they will join with David saying, <em>“I will proclaim and tell of [his wonderous deeds and thoughts towards me], yet they are more than can be told!”</em></p>
<p>Oh what incredible joy there is to be had for those who wait on the Lord to act for them! Don’t you want to see what the Lord can do? I know it will be more amazing and more wonderful than what I can bring about. What I can do and bring about is death (cf. <strong>Prov. 16:25</strong>, <strong>Romans 6:23</strong>). Let’s rejoice in the command and invitation to wait on the Lord!</p>
<h2>2. Those who wait on the Lord will be strengthened</h2>
<p><strong>Isaiah 40:31</strong> <em>but <u>they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength</u>; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.</em></p>
<p>This promise goes along with the previous promise. When God acts on our behalf there is great joy and praise! <strong>Nehemiah 8:10</strong> says, <em>“The joy of the Lord is our strength.”</em> If we wait on the Lord to act, we will not be put to shame, rather we will see the amazing acts of God and rejoice! That rejoicing in the Lord is the strength that Nehemiah 8:10 speaks of.</p>
<p>It may seem so paradoxical, that to wait on the Lord for him to determine the timing and the circumstances of what is good would produce strength. But for people that know they are weak, that know what they think is right is often very wrong (cf. <strong>Prov. 16:25</strong>), that know that God’s will being done and not their will is best, they know that God acting <em>rather than them acting</em> is what is actually best. Therefore, as hard as waiting on the Lord can be for us, it’s something we should be growing to love to do!</p>
<h2>How can we learn to love waiting?</h2>
<p>That begs a very important question. Maybe we can clearly see from these three promises (and there are many more!) that we should love to wait on the Lord. But just because we should doesn’t mean we do. So if we don’t love waiting on the Lord, <em>how can we get to the point where we are content with waiting on the Lord?</em></p>
<p>First, rehearse the promises that God makes to those who wait on him. Make sure you know the promises that God makes to those who wait. Your flesh has other promises that it is believing and presenting to you constantly. Promises like, “you know what’s best for yourself.” Or “if you don’t act now you’ll miss your opportunity.” The promises that your flesh, the world and Satan make are opposed to the promises that God makes. Make sure you know that they are opposed to each other (cf. <strong>Gal. 5:16–17</strong>).</p>
<p>Secondly, pray that God would help you believe his promises and act on them. Waiting on the Lord is evidence of the being led by the Holy Spirit. We cannot obey God apart from the Spirit at work in us. So ask God to help you!</p>
<p>Third, think back to your childhood. What are all the things that if left up to you would have never waited on which would have been really detrimental to you today? Here are just a few examples. What if my parents didn’t force me to wait on dessert? I could have skipped my meals and had dessert instead? Or what if my parents didn’t force me to wait to do play and fun until after my chores and homework were completed? Or what if they didn’t teach me to wait until I had worked and saved up enough money to buy game or toy I wanted? The point of this exercise is to reveal how crucial it is to have parents, teachers, and other authorities in our life as a child that help us learn to wait. As adults, we still have other authorities like pastors and bosses to help us. But ultimately, our main authority is God. If our heavenly Father tells us to wait, then he must have a very, very good reason that we might not see yet for waiting.</p>
<p>Fourth, make sure you are embedded in Christian community. Be in a good church week in and week out and make sure you are building friends in that church that know you and that are serious about pursuing the Lord (cf. <strong>2 Tim. 2:22</strong>). And then with those friends, ask them for wisdom and prayer on the thing(s) that you are waiting on the Lord for. They can help keep you accountable to waiting on the Lord, rather than acting ahead of God out of pride and unbelief.</p>
<p>Fifth, make sure that you can answer from Scripture what waiting on the Lord practically looks like. Answering this question would easily take another few blog posts. But the point is, waiting on the Lord has practical steps. Waiting on the Lord isn’t just doing nothing. It certainly isn’t waiting on God to act for you, while you occupy yourself with other selfish things like Netflix, video games, vacations, etc. Waiting on the Lord will mean, obedience to God today (cf. <strong>Matt. 6:33</strong>). Waiting on the Lord means persistence in prayer (cf. <strong>Luke 18:1–7</strong>). Waiting on the Lord means hopeful anticipation of the future, rather than a glum, despondent view towards the future (cf. <strong>Romans 8:25</strong>).</p>
<p>Sixth, when God acts and when God strengths you and honors you for waiting which he absolutely will, praise him! Every time we see God deliver on a promise, praise his glorious name! Savoring his fulfilled promises will only encourage you to want to see more and more of his promises fulfilled and to see more and more of God’s acts rather than yours. And it will help you hunger and long for the ultimate fulfillment of his promises in heaven!</p>
<p>I hope this helps cultivate a desire to want to love waiting on the Lord! So go forth and WAIT!</p>
<hr />
<p>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@amandagraphc?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Amanda Jones</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/black-and-white-photography-of-alarm-clock-displaying-137-time-CcIIao_-Eow?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Unsplash</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/04/learning-to-love-waiting-part-2/">Learning to Love Waiting, Part 2</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling">Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</a>.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Learning to Love Waiting, Part 1</title>
		<link>https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/04/learning-to-love-waiting-part-1/</link>
					<comments>https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/04/learning-to-love-waiting-part-1/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Greg Wetterlin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Apr 2024 15:49:51 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[The Counseling Process]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Waiting]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=2512</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240320104758/amanda-jones-CcIIao_-Eow-unsplash-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>It doesn’t take very impressive powers of observation to know that America is an ever increasing “need it now” culture. Amazon has been leading the way for years on faster and faster delivery. 2-day delivery wasn’t fast enough, so they sped up to 1-day delivery and then to same day delivery. Now, it seems that... <a class="read-more" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/04/learning-to-love-waiting-part-1/">read more</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/04/learning-to-love-waiting-part-1/">Learning to Love Waiting, Part 1</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling">Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240320104758/amanda-jones-CcIIao_-Eow-unsplash-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>It doesn’t take very impressive powers of observation to know that America is an ever increasing “need it now” culture. Amazon has been leading the way for years on faster and faster delivery. 2-day delivery wasn’t fast enough, so they sped up to 1-day delivery and then to same day delivery. Now, it seems that same day delivery isn’t even enough, and they are rolling out same hour delivery. It’s hard to fathom how they could get any quicker, but years ago I doubt anybody would have thought same hour delivery was a possibility!</p>
<p>The point is, we are not a culture that is learning to wait. We are a culture that is growing increasingly impatient and demanding. This is seen not just in online shopping, but also in relationships, careers, finances and of course the church as well.</p>
<p>If you know your Bible, it probably isn’t surprising that as the world wants to make waiting for anything a thing of the past, that God not only expects waiting but makes incredible promises to those who wait on the Lord.</p>
<p>I want to just consider a few of them so that personally as counselors we learn to LOVE waiting on the Lord and so that we can help our counselees learn to LOVE waiting on the Lord.</p>
<p><strong>Promises to Those Who Wait on the Lord</strong></p>
<h2>1. Those who wait will not be put to shame</h2>
<p><strong>Psalm 25:3</strong> &#8211; <em>Indeed, <u>none who wait for you shall be put to shame</u>; they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.</em></p>
<p>Shame is part of the human experience in a sin cursed world. Shame entered as early and as quickly as sin entered the world when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit. <strong>Genesis 2:25</strong> says that <em>“the man and his wife were both naked and not ashamed.”</em> Those are the only two humans to have experienced a world without anything to be ashamed of.</p>
<p>I can remember as an elementary school student the shame of misbehaving and being called out in class. I can remember the shame of being announced in 2<sup>nd</sup> grade as the only person to receive a 100% on the spelling test, but to have misspelled my own name­­&#8211;Gerg! I can remember the shame of being skin and bones with hardly any muscle. I can remember the shame of forgetting to put on deodorant and having horrendous body odor after recess. The list goes on and on.</p>
<p>I bring up those examples, not to mention much, much more serious sin in high school and as an adult that is so much more shameful than having BO, to highlight how glorious the promise of not being put to shame is for all of us who know shame so well.</p>
<p>Everyone wants to be accepted and loved rather than exposed and shamed.<a href="#_ftn1" name="_ftnref1">[1]</a> But what everyone cannot agree on is <em>how </em>shame needs to be covered in order to be accepted and loved. But according to <strong>Psalm 25:3</strong> NONE who wait for the Lord will be put to shame.</p>
<p>A very key question to ask is, <em>why does waiting for the Lord</em> <em>result in not being put to shame?</em> And the along with that, <em>why does being wantonly treacherous</em> or could we simply say, <em>not waiting on the Lord</em> <em>mean that there will be shame?</em></p>
<p>The answer to the first question is implied by what David says in <strong>Psalm 25:5</strong>. He says that “<em>you are the God of my salvation.</em>” In other words, God is the one who rescues him. God is the one who delivers David. God is David’s salvation. If David needs to be saved, which the entire Psalm clearly shows that David does, how does being saved bring about not being put to shame? Doesn’t the fact that David needs delivered and saved show that he is in trouble, weak and incapable of rescuing himself? So how could waiting to be rescued mean not being put to shame?</p>
<p>This is where the cross of Jesus Christ provides the most clear and robust answer. Jesus’ crucifixion was a shameful death where he was stripped naked and lifted up high for all to look upon in derision. That’s what David’s sin deserved, that’s what my sin deserves, and that’s what everyone’s sin deserves. But for those who have trusted in the Lord (cf. <strong>Psalm 25:2</strong>), the shame that they deserve is placed on Jesus (cf. <strong>Isaiah 53:3–5</strong>) and the perfection and righteousness of Christ is imputed to them (cf. <strong>2 Cor. 5:21</strong>). As a result, those who wait on the Lord will ultimately on judgment day be vindicated completely from any shame that was hurled upon them in this life—deserved and underserved. Therefore, those who admit they are helpless and wait on the Lord’s salvation will not be put to shame. They will experience the victory of the resurrection of Jesus Christ! That’s why Peter closes his first letter with this promise:</p>
<p><strong>1 Peter 5:10</strong> <em>And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.</em></p>
<p>Those who have suffered a little while and WAITED on the Lord’s salvation, will experience the glory or the honor (the opposite of shame) in Christ and be restored, confirmed, strengthened and established!</p>
<p>With a promise like that—those who wait on the Lord will never be put to shame—don’t you WANT to wait on him?!</p>
<p>But for those who don’t wait on the Lord they will be put to shame. The reason is because ­those that think they deserve honor, and glory don’t recognize that their sin means they are helplessly lost apart from the grace of God that comes through Jesus Christ. Therefore, whether or not they experience a shame-filled life or not, they will be put to shame when they have to stand before the Lord on judgment day, because they will have failed to acknowledge that apart from Christ they have nothing to boast or glory in. Even the deeds they thought were good will be shown to be filthy rags (cf. <strong>Isaiah 64:6</strong>). Therefore, they will be shamed as fools and rebels.</p>
<h2>Potential Objection</h2>
<p>There will undoubtedly be the hang up for quite a few, that waiting for vindication in heaven doesn’t really help me today with the trouble and shame that I’m going through. So that’s great that someday there won’t be shame, but that doesn’t provide much hope today.</p>
<p>To that kind of thinking I would say I completely understand, because all of us in our sinful flesh are naturally bent to think in such short-term selfish ways. That’s why many, many scriptures speak to the foolishness of that kind of reasoning. Here is one:</p>
<p><strong>Hebrews 12:1–2</strong> <em>&#8230;let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, <u>who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.</u></em></p>
<p>Notice the connection between joy and shame in verse 2. This verse tells us that Jesus went to the cross because of joy! The cross was an instrument of intense suffering, torture, death, humiliation and shame. And yet, this verse tells us that Jesus endured it BECAUSE there was joy to be had on the other side of the shame. Instead of suffering, rejection and shame Jesus is “<em>seated at the right hand of the throne of God.</em>” Because of the shame and suffering and his obedience to his Father and him waiting on the vindication from His Father, <strong>Philippians 2:9 </strong>says that, <em>“God has highly exalted him and bestowed upon him [Jesus], the name that is above every other name.”</em></p>
<p>Jesus is much more than just an example to us. But the Bible makes it clear, as does Jesus’ own words, that shame and suffering precedes the honor, glory, vindication and no shame that is promised to those who wait on the Lord. Jesus said, <em>“Deny yourself, take up your cross daily (an instrument of shame and suffering) and follow me”</em> (cf. <strong>Luke 9:23</strong>).</p>
<p>I hope this helps us <em>want to wait</em> rather than begrudgingly wish that we didn’t have to wait on the Lord for the promise of not being put to shame. His promises and his plan are inscrutably glorious!</p>
<h2>Conclusion:</h2>
<p>In the second part of this blog, we’ll look at 2 more promises that God makes to those who wait on him as well as think about practical ways to grow in this area. Before then though, I’d encourage you to make a list of things that you had to wait on that you’re thankful you waited. And then make a list of things you didn’t wait on, that didn’t turn out well. Let those two lists encourage you to believe and trust that those who wait on the Lord will not be put to shame!</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<hr />
<p>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@amandagraphc?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Amanda Jones</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/black-and-white-photography-of-alarm-clock-displaying-137-time-CcIIao_-Eow?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Unsplash</a></p>
<p><a href="#_ftnref1" name="_ftn1">[1]</a> There isn’t space to argue for how even people that seek humiliation and other ways of being shamed truly want to rid themselves of the shame. But those extreme forms of seeking to be shamed are a form of self-atonement with the hopes of after being shamed and punished enough they will have reached “salvation” and be good enough.</p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/04/learning-to-love-waiting-part-1/">Learning to Love Waiting, Part 1</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling">Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</a>.</p>
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		<title>What Do I Do When Lament Turns Into Sinful Complaint?</title>
		<link>https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/03/what-do-i-do-when-lament-turns-into-sinful-complaint/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Tirzah Birk]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Mar 2024 17:49:55 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Anxiety/Worry/Panic/Fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Depression/Bi-Polar Disorder/Self-Pity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotions/Feelings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Heart/Desires/Motives/Idols]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trials/Pain/Suffering]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lament]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=2502</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240319092824/krists-luhaers-xbJHiTMl46E-unsplash-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>As a newer counselor this often happens to me in the early sessions: I’m listening to a new counselee tell her story and it’s not long before facts about her suffering mix with self-pity. Alarm! Red flag! Stop the sin!! I used to wrestle with this internal dialogue: do I need to cut off her... <a class="read-more" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/03/what-do-i-do-when-lament-turns-into-sinful-complaint/">read more</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/03/what-do-i-do-when-lament-turns-into-sinful-complaint/">What Do I Do When Lament Turns Into Sinful Complaint?</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling">Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240319092824/krists-luhaers-xbJHiTMl46E-unsplash-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>As a newer counselor this often happens to me in the early sessions: I’m listening to a new counselee tell her story and it’s not long before facts about her suffering mix with self-pity. Alarm! Red flag! Stop the sin!!</p>
<p>I used to wrestle with this internal dialogue: <em>do I need to cut off her sinful self-pity? Do I jump in with some truths from scripture to stop this? Is me listening to this, affirming that this is ok? Do I need to confront every wrong thing said against God and her circumstances in this session?</em></p>
<p>Another counselee has been through a life-changing hardship. She is concerned that if she starts to go through the steps of lament, won’t that bring up sinful thoughts? Maybe it would be better to skip past this and go straight into putting off sinful thoughts and putting on right thoughts.</p>
<p>Our church, counseling ministry, and I personally have benefited greatly from the biblically solid and excellent teaching on lament we have received through Pastor Mark Vroegop’s book <em>Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy</em> as well as his teaching at our annual conference and pre-conference. In that book Vroegop defines lament as “the honest cry of a hurting heart wrestling with the paradox of pain and the promise of God’s goodness” (pg. 26).</p>
<h2>Lament is a crucial first step of responding well to suffering</h2>
<p>We know that lament is a crucial first step of responding well to suffering. But how should I as a counselor think of how to handle the line when lament steps over into self-pity? What does it look like practically, during my counseling session?</p>
<p>I would like to briefly argue the following three points in answer to these questions.</p>
<ol>
<li>Godly lament will commonly be mixed with sinful complaint &#8211; God wants us to bring both to Him</li>
<li>If God’s Word &#8211; breathed by God himself &#8211; includes sinful complaints, and accusations against God himself, I should not be surprised when my counselee does the same</li>
<li>If my goal as the counselor is to make them stop sinning, I will be frustrated. My goal should be to point them toward loving God and treasuring Him (in their sin and suffering)</li>
</ol>
<h2>What are you wanting?</h2>
<p>Beginning with the third point, a question we have been taught to ask our counselees, applies here to us as counselors: “what are you wanting?”</p>
<p>Why am I so uncomfortable when I hear a counslee’s complaints? I may want her to stop sinning. I may know that her thinking is unhelpful for her, and I want what’s best for her: to focus on the truth. I may also feel concerned that if I allow her to say wrong things about God or her circumstances, she may think her conclusions are true. I may feel the weight that I am speaking on God’s behalf, and I need to represent him well and not let anyone think wrongly about God.</p>
<p>These are real concerns that can benefit from stepping back and thinking about my God-given purpose as a counselor, and how God allows himself to be spoken of in his Word.</p>
<p>It has been helpful for me to remember my purpose as a counselor is not to make her stop sinning, but to point her to delighting in Jesus (Matthew 22:34-40). I have learned that I cannot even understand and address her sin well unless I hear what she’s longing for so I can show her how God’s answers are more satisfying to her longings; I need to hear why her circumstances are so crushing so that I can connect her to how her savior was crushed for her so that she would only feel crushed. I need to be more motivated by loving my counselee, than by a desire to hunt down sin, or fear of God being misrepresented. Love is making a safe space for sin to be exposed so that it can be put off and replaced with a growing love for God.</p>
<p>I also need to remember that I am not the junior holy spirit. I cannot make my counselee love and treasure God much less obey Him. But I can rest, focusing on doing what pleases God regardless of how my counselee chooses to respond. Although when I speak I should “<em>do so</em> as <em>one who is speaking</em> actual words of God” (1 Peter 4:11), God’s plan does not rest on my ability to say the right thing. God will accomplish all of his purposes in the life of my counselee with or without me (Isaiah 46:8-11). God does not need me, but he wants to use me! This truth has been greatly helpful for me as a new counselor.</p>
<h2>Godly lament will commonly be mixed with sinful complaint &#8211; God wants us to bring both to Him!</h2>
<p>Here I want to return to my first point: for sinful humans, I’m convinced that Godly lament will commonly be mixed with sinful complaint &#8211; God wants us to bring both to Him. A recent study of the books of the prophets has greatly expanded my view of God as I realize how lowly God is; not only does he permit sinful complaints, He inspired and preserved them for all time for my benefit! I have yet to hear anyone say anything worse about God than what God himself breathed and preserved in scripture for all time. Who is a God like our God! Although he is so terrible and holy that merely glimpsing the appearance of the likeness of the glory of God causes one to fall on the their face (Ezekiel 1:28), this same God describes himself as “gentle and lowly” (Matthew 11:29) and “he will not crush the weakest reed” (Isaiah 42:3). Who is a God like our God!</p>
<h2>If God’s Word &#8211; breathed by God himself &#8211; includes sinful complaints, and accusations against God himself, I should not be surprised when my counselee does the same</h2>
<p>There are some counselees whose suffering is the result of her own foolish or sinful choices, and we can be tempted to jump right into putting off sin. But consider how the nation of Israel, when it went into Assyrian and Babylonian captivity, was even getting what it deserved according to God’s covenant. And yet many of the books of the prophets are filled with complaints. Even if we are getting the “just punishment” we deserve, God still invites our laments and complaints.</p>
<p>How would you respond if your counselee came in saying this?</p>
<p>Jonah: “<em>It is</em> right for me to be angry, even to death!” (Jonah 4:9b)</p>
<p>Jeremiah: “I sat alone because <strong><em>your </em></strong>(God’s) hand was upon me, for <strong><em>you </em></strong>(God) had filled me with indignation. Why is my pain unceasing, my wound incurable, refusing to be healed? Will <strong>you</strong> (God) be to me like a deceitful brook, like waters that fail?”  (Jeremiah 15: 17b-18)</p>
<p>Jeremiah/ author of Lamentations: <strong>He </strong>(God) has made my flesh and my skin waste away; <strong>he </strong>(God) has broken my bones; <strong>he</strong> (God) has besieged and enveloped me with bitterness and tribulation. <strong>He</strong> (God) has made me dwell in darkness like the dead of long ago.” (Lamentations 3:4-6)</p>
<p>Naomi: “call me Mara (bitterness) for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty.”  (Ruth 1:20-21)</p>
<p>It would be tempting for me to cut that right off and begin teaching them why their thoughts about God are wrong. Amazingly, God doesn’t always answer and correct theology on the spot. What kind of a God is this, who tolerates this kind of language?! A gracious, big God who can handle our worst accusations and sinful complaints. And He invites us to come to him anyways. We don’t have to clean up our sin before we can come to God.</p>
<p>In my experience so far, it is hard enough for many counselees to admit their true thoughts to me out loud, and they have almost never admitted them directly to God himself. I have learned there is no substitute for the counselee bringing her complaint directly to God. Vroegop is very practical in <em>Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy</em> on what this looks like &#8211; it is an excellent resource to go through together with a counselee which will encourage them to model their prayer after a Psalm of lament. In a first session, I typically think of a Psalm that has similar language to what I have heard them say (such as Psalm 13, 42, 77) and assign them to write out their own thoughts to God directly pouring out their honest thoughts, feelings, and questions. Then write out a reminder to themselves of what they know to be true about God.</p>
<p>I do find that I often have to remind a Christian counselee that she doesn’t have to clean up her thoughts before she tells them to God. The prodigal son’s father was waiting for him and embraced him, pig filth and all. I may remind her that God already knows her thoughts &#8211; even the ones she hasn’t put into words. I remind her that God chooses people for salvation in love because it brings him great delight to save sinners, not because we are doing a good job (Ephesians 1 &amp; 2).</p>
<p>Of course, lament is not the end goal. And evidence of Godly lament is moving toward trusting God and obedience. But lamenting should not be skipped, even when there’s a lot of sin to deal with. Why would anyone want to change and put off sin, if we don’t believe that we can even bring our doubts, fears, anger, and pain to God?</p>
<h2>So, should we never interrupt a counselee in their complaints?</h2>
<p>By no means! There are absolutely many times to interrupt a counselee, to confront a lie about God and/or circumstances head on. When my goal is to love the counselee by helping her to treasure God with all her heart, soul, and mind, it is my job to help her understand the lies she’s believing, and direct her to the truths of scripture.</p>
<p>There is great freedom here for a counselor depending on the Holy Spirit for exactly how and when to do this. So far from my experience I would say the earlier sessions when I’m listening for her patterns of thinking, and her heart idols, I’m going to spend the majority of the session listening for those key patterns. Toward the end of the session, after hearing what she’s saying, my goal is to introduce one key passage that addresses the key desires and idols of her heart, one that shines the loving and gracious character of God toward sinners and sufferers.</p>
<p>And as we spend more weeks together, after I’ve already taught on a topic to address her heart, when she says something wrong, I will be more likely to respond in that moment. I think this looks like a gentle: “now we need to remember, that …” or “now how does that compare with what God’s word says ….?” or “When I feel one way about this, and God’s word says something different, what should I choose to believe?”</p>
<p>Biblical lament never stops there. It always moves toward trust and obedience. If I have a counselee who is unwilling to embrace the next steps, I would need to confront that in a way that is filled with truth and love.</p>
<p>Let us remember the marvelous loving-kindness and faithfulness of our God who chooses a people for himself. And having all gone astray, doing what was right in our own eyes, and many times suffering the consequences of our own choices, God opened some of our eyes to return to Him bringing our (chapters and chapters and chapters of) bitter complaints and accusations. And let us take heart from the way God views his restored people from the book of Zechariah:</p>
<ul>
<li>“Sing and rejoice, O daughter of Zion, for behold I come and I will dwell in your midst, declares the Lord. And many nations shall join themselves to the Lord in that day and shall be my people” (2:11)</li>
<li>“Jerusalem shall be called the faithful city(!)” (8:3)</li>
<li>“They shall be my people, and I will be their God in faithfulness and righteousness” (8:8)</li>
<li>“I will not deal with the remnant of this people as in the former days” (8:11)</li>
<li>“As I purposed to bring disaster to you [&#8230;.] so again have I purposed in these days to bring good to Jerusalem” (8:14-15)</li>
<li>“I will bring them back because I have compassion on them, and <strong><em>they shall be as though I had not rejected them</em></strong> for I am the Lord their God” (10:6)</li>
<li>“On that day there shall be a fountain opened for the house of David and the inhabitants of Jerusalem to cleanse them from sin and uncleanness” (13:1)</li>
</ul>
<p>If God would think so graciously toward His chosen people, perhaps He will be so gracious toward me.</p>
<hr />
<p>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@kristsll?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Krists Luhaers</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/woman-sitting-on-brown-wooden-bench-xbJHiTMl46E?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Unsplash</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/03/what-do-i-do-when-lament-turns-into-sinful-complaint/">What Do I Do When Lament Turns Into Sinful Complaint?</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling">Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</a>.</p>
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		<title>Don’t Dispense Answers: Helping Counselees Learn</title>
		<link>https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/03/dont-dispense-answers-helping-counselees-learn/</link>
					<comments>https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/03/dont-dispense-answers-helping-counselees-learn/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Greg Wetterlin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 05 Mar 2024 14:01:45 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[The Counseling Process]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wisdom]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=2492</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240305085917/ashin-k-suresh-mkxTOAxqTTo-unsplash-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>Do you remember having homework out of textbooks where many of the answers were in the back of the book, so you could look up the answers and know right away whether or not you got the correct answer? And then of course, if you got the wrong answer, you would go back and change... <a class="read-more" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/03/dont-dispense-answers-helping-counselees-learn/">read more</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/03/dont-dispense-answers-helping-counselees-learn/">Don’t Dispense Answers: Helping Counselees Learn</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling">Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240305085917/ashin-k-suresh-mkxTOAxqTTo-unsplash-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>Do you remember having homework out of textbooks where many of the answers were in the back of the book, so you could look up the answers and know right away whether or not you got the correct answer? And then of course, if you got the wrong answer, you would go back and change your answer.</p>
<p>There certainly is a real help to knowing the answer. That way you can evaluate whether you are understanding what you’re learning. However, I’m sure you had a friend—not you of course—who would look up the answers right away and was more concerned about the answer and just getting the grade rather than making sure they understood the concepts they were supposed to be learning. If that’s the approach to learning—just give me the answer so I can get the grade—is there really any learning going on? Is the student that just quickly runs to the back of the book to get the answer so they can get the grade being prepared for the next class? Are they even being prepared well for the rest of life with that kind of approach to learning?</p>
<p><strong>As a biblical counselor, one of the easiest errors to fall into is being an answer dispenser or an information teller, rather than someone who helps and guides your counselee in the process of learning and discovery. </strong></p>
<p>We’ve probably all heard the quote, <em>“Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”</em> That’s essentially what’s at stake in biblical counseling. Are you a counselor who is teaching your counselees<em> to be dependent on you</em> or are you teaching them how to be <em>more independent. </em></p>
<h2>CULTIVATING WISDOM</h2>
<p>The book of Proverbs begins with a number of speeches from a father to his son in Proverbs 1–9. The goal of all the speeches is to help his son live wisely. There is plain, straight forward teaching like stay away from sexual immorality, don’t be lazy but work hard, and so forth. But in addition to the clear commands about how to be wise, you also get strong exhortations to be a learner and a seeker of wisdom and understanding.</p>
<p>Proverbs 2:1–5 (ESV)</p>
<p><sup>1</sup> My son, <u>if</u> you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, <sup>2</sup> making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; <sup>3</sup> yes, <u>if</u> you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, <sup>4</sup> <u>if </u>you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, <sup>5</sup> <u>then</u> you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.</p>
<p>An interesting question to ask is, “If the father wants the son to be wise and he has told him many practical ways to be wise, then why must wisdom be ‘[<em>sought] for like silver and search[ed] for as for hidden treasures?’ </em>Hasn’t the father just told him plainly in chapters 1–9 what wisdom is?” Similarly, if a counselee comes in with a marriage problem or parenting challenge and they ask for help, isn’t it enough to just point them to a Bible verse and explain clearly what that looks like and send them on their way or move onto their next question?</p>
<p>The answer of course is no. Unless, the person who is coming and asking for help is already quite wise. If Prov. 2:1–5 is true of them already, then them coming to ask you for help might be practically how they are living out vv.2–4. They may be coming to you because they’ve been seeking for wisdom on a matter and digging for it, but they need an extra hand in their dig. If that’s the case, then yes pointing to a passage with an explanation might be enough for them.</p>
<p>But for the majority of counselees coming, they need help learning to do vv.1–4 so that they will come to understand v.5, which according to Prov. 3:7 will help them to “turn away from evil.”</p>
<h2>Reality #1 – Many counselees are not skilled at reading the Bible for simple understanding of what the text says.</h2>
<p>This is a huge issue today. It’s always been a big issue, so let’s not overstate the problem as if this is something new under the sun. I’m guessing the apostle Paul found a lot of biblically illiterate people on his missionary journeys! But that didn’t stop him or his companions for proclaiming the gospel and exhorting them grow in their knowledge of the Lord. This obviously was a problem even in the church where they should have been further along in their knowledge (cf. Hebrews 5:11–14).</p>
<p>The largest kind of biblical illiteracy that I come across in counseling is just a lazy, surface level reading of the text. They may pick up some things from it, but many counselees do not ponder and think about how the text connects together or even make sure they understand what is going on.</p>
<p>For example, <strong>Isaiah 50:10–11</strong></p>
<p><em><sup>10</sup> Who among you fears the LORD and obeys the voice of his servant? Let him who <strong><u>walks in darkness</u></strong> and has no light trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God. <sup>11</sup> Behold, all you who kindle a fire, who equip yourselves with burning torches! <strong><u>Walk by the light</u></strong> of your fire, and by the torches that you have kindled! <u>This you have from my hand: you shall lie down in torment.</u></em></p>
<p>I don’t go here with every counselee, but this is a perfect text to illustrate a cursory reading of scripture and its inadequacy in helping the counselee.</p>
<p>“Light” and “darkness” are obviously very common themes in the Bible. And most frequently “light” is associated with righteousness and goodness and “dark” is associated with evil and wickedness. <em>However</em>, if you only cursorily read the text you’ll see “<strong>walks in darkness”</strong> and immediately think, “that’s bad don’t do that.” And “<strong>walk by the light” </strong>and think that’s good.  And more often than not, that’s how counselee after counselee has read this text. But if you read it carefully making sure to understand what the text actually says you find out that “<strong>walk by the light” </strong>in this passage is not at all what you want to do! Because those who do that receive from God’s hand: “<em>you shall lie down in torment.”</em></p>
<p><u>POINT:</u> <em>We have to make sure through the counseling homework and the time in the counseling room to encourage and push them to read the text carefully for understanding.</em></p>
<h2>Reality #2 – Many counselees when they “understand” what the text says just stop at that point.</h2>
<p>Understand is in quotes above, because there is a sense in which understanding what the text says isn’t really understanding yet.</p>
<p>If we again take <strong>Isaiah 50:10–11</strong> as our example, let’s say a counselee understands that they should trust and rely in God when they walk in darkness rather than kindling their own fire. That is clearly what the text says will be done by the one who fears and obeys the voice of God’s servant (Messiah). Just because they can articulate that doesn’t mean that they continue to press into the text for the meaning and application to themselves.</p>
<p>1 Cor. 8:1 tells us that “&#8230;knowledge puffs up.” If counselees stop at the surface level understanding of the text, that kind of knowledge can just puff them up. They understand the meaning of the author. That’s great. That’s important. But it’s not enough! We need to get our counselees to <em><u>incline their HEARTS to understanding</u>,</em> (v.2) and to <em><u>seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures </u></em>(v.4)!</p>
<p>To do this, it takes the counselor asking good questions and pushing the counselee’s nose back in the text to think and to ponder (something our flesh is opposed to doing often times). Questions like:</p>
<ul>
<li><em>So what does it mean to walk in darkness? What kind of situation do you think that would be referring to?</em></li>
<li><em>If the one who obeys the Lord walks in darkness, what does that tell you about what you should expect as a Christian at various times in your life? </em></li>
<li><em>What does it mean to kindle a fire? </em></li>
<li><em>Why is kindling a fire so abhorrent to God? </em></li>
</ul>
<p>And then when you ask questions and they don’t give the right answers, you probably need to ask another question! Don’t rush to give answers! Seek to lead them along the process of learning to read and understand God’s Word for themselves.</p>
<p>You as a counselor might think this is time consuming and challenging—and it is! Your counselees will surely think it is time consuming and hard! In response to it being hard, consider this quote from John Piper:</p>
<p>&#8220;Raking is easier than digging, but you only get leaves. If you dig you may get diamonds.&#8221;<a href="#_ftn1" name="_ftnref1"><sup><strong>[1]</strong></sup></a></p>
<p>Leaves are not going to help your counselees stand against the deceitful schemes of the devil and the flesh! The treasures that God has for his children in his word if they are willing to seek it and search for it like silver and like hidden treasures are astounding!</p>
<p>You want to get your counselee to the place where they understand how this passage applies to the marriage struggle or parenting issue they are having right now. They may be completely in the dark wondering, “How in can I get my child to listen? I’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work.” Or perhaps in the marriage they are thinking, “We’ve had this same problem for years. Ever since we’ve been married, we continue to have the same recurring issue that is just getting worse and worse.”</p>
<p>Well, how would a passage like this help that parent or spouse? When they are in darkness and cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, what is the person who obeys the Lord going to do? They are going to rely on God. They are going to cling to God’s Word and seek his kingdom and righteousness today (Matt. 6:33), rather than lighting their own torch so they can light the pathway out of the darkness. Instead of focusing on the Lord and relying on him we rely on our own resources and solutions.</p>
<p>Lighting and paving our own path out might be extreme like getting a divorce and finding a spouse who “actually” understands me. It might be less extreme by just avoiding my spouse and spending a lot more time watching TV, doing various hobbies, or staying later at work. Maybe it is trying to buy the problem off by giving extravagant gives or vacations. The ways people light their own fires rather than clinging to God’s word are endless. Counselees need to diligently ponder their favorite “fires/torches” that they use to get out of the darkness, rather than learning to rely on God and his resources. That way they can know specifically what they shouldn’t do (i.e. reach for the torch) and then know what they should put on (specific promise/scripture).</p>
<p><u>POINT:</u> <em>Do not rob your counselee the joy of treasure in the Word of God by just showing them all the treasure you have dug up. Help them learn how to dig into God’s Word for themselves by going deeper than just the basic understanding of the text. Help them get to the REALITY of the text and the clear application to their own lives.</em></p>
<h2>CONCLUSION</h2>
<p>My desire is that as counselors we actually expect what God expects out of our counselees. The Lord expects his people to have a heart that is hungry to learn. A counselee will not be learning and growing if you just allow them to “rake” the Scriptures and then you do the “digging” and just give them what you have dug up. You must teach them to dig. You must teach them what it means to live out Proverbs 2:1–4. Because if they don’t live out Proverbs 2:1–4, then they’ll never learn the fear of the Lord (v.5), which means you won’t be able to help them. Our goal is to help counselees please Christ, which is impossible without the fear of the Lord.</p>
<p>This is hard work. It takes time and patience. And maybe it’s just me, but it takes a lot of effort and thought into the homework I give them. Bathe all of this in prayer for apart from him we can do nothing!</p>
<p>I’d love to hear specific strategies that you’ve found helpful in getting your counselees to live out Proverbs 2:1–4.</p>
<hr />
<p><a href="#_ftnref1" name="_ftn1"><sup>[1]</sup></a> John Piper, <a href="https://ref.ly/logosres/whendntdes?ref=Page.p+126&amp;off=239&amp;ctx=joy+may+be+greater.+~Raking+is+easier+tha"><em>When I Don’t Desire God: How to Fight for Joy</em></a> (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 2004), 126.</p>
<p>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@ashin_k_suresh?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Ashin K Suresh</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/a-lit-up-box-sitting-on-top-of-a-table-mkxTOAxqTTo?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Unsplash</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/03/dont-dispense-answers-helping-counselees-learn/">Don’t Dispense Answers: Helping Counselees Learn</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling">Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</a>.</p>
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		<title>What Gossip Reveals: Unraveling 3 Truths About Your Heart</title>
		<link>https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/02/what-gossip-reveals-unraveling-3-truths-about-your-heart/</link>
					<comments>https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/02/what-gossip-reveals-unraveling-3-truths-about-your-heart/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Johnny Kjaer]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 20 Feb 2024 19:16:16 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Communication/Conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Counseling Issues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gossip]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=2494</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240216104643/quino-al-4SNUcHPiC8c-unsplash-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>Have you heard about…? Did you know that…? I just thought you needed to know that… Most of us have experienced at some level the painful sting of a gossip session that was about you.  Suddenly, people that you were just friends with a couple of hours earlier have grown cold and distant. From the... <a class="read-more" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/02/what-gossip-reveals-unraveling-3-truths-about-your-heart/">read more</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/02/what-gossip-reveals-unraveling-3-truths-about-your-heart/">What Gossip Reveals: Unraveling 3 Truths About Your Heart</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling">Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240216104643/quino-al-4SNUcHPiC8c-unsplash-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>Have you heard about…?</p>
<p>Did you know that…?</p>
<p>I just thought you needed to know that…</p>
<p>Most of us have experienced at some level the painful sting of a gossip session that was about you.  Suddenly, people that you were just friends with a couple of hours earlier have grown cold and distant.</p>
<p>From the pain in the heart of teenager who has been told the gossip that is going around about them, to the painful sting of a person who had so much gossip spoken about them that their position of service was changed, or the ministry leader who is left broken over gossip that has destroyed their reputation.</p>
<h2>What is Gossip?</h2>
<p>If we are going to speak about gossip, we should probably take a little bit of time to define gossip.</p>
<p>Proverbs 18:6–8 (NASB95) &#8211; <sup>6</sup> A fool’s lips bring strife, And his mouth calls for blows. <sup>7</sup> A fool’s mouth is his ruin, And his lips are the snare of his soul. <sup>8</sup> The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels, And they go down into the innermost parts of the body.</p>
<p><strong> </strong>In the book of Proverbs, we see the word whisperer used to describe this idea.  The literal definition of a whisperer means to back-bite, to complain about, to grumble about, or criticize a person behind their back.</p>
<p>So, to clean this definition up a little bit, I like to define gossip as, <strong><em>Gossip is saying something about someone else whether true or false for the purpose of changing someone else’s opinion about that person.</em></strong></p>
<p>No matter how you define gossip it is important to understand that gossip is sin.  Gossip is evil.  Gossip is a real problem.  And in order for us to function in unity as instructed by the Lord, gossip must stop.</p>
<h2>Gossip is Not!</h2>
<p>Gossip is not about observing a concerning problem or sin in a persons life and going and confronting it.  Gossip is not seeking out a person who has wronged you and seeking to find restoration with that person by pointing out the problems.</p>
<p><strong>In fact, this is what God would want you to do. Matthew 18:15 &#8211; If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.</strong></p>
<p>And Matthew 18 also says that if that person will not repent and restoration cannot be achieved one on one, then you should take a second person with you to seek that restoration.  Again, this is not filling in the second person on all the dirt you have against that person and then doing nothing about it.  This is always in the spirit of seeking restoration or reconciliation.</p>
<p>3 Truths Your Gossip Says About You:</p>
<h2>1.Where gossip abounds, humility is lacking!</h2>
<p>Often in the mind of the gossip there is a sense of superiority over the person being talked about.  So, because of my superiority in whatever aspect of life I am being critical about, I feel that I have the right to look down on the person in question.</p>
<p>I gossip about the kids in my class because I am better than the rest.  I gossip about the coach because I know more about that sport than the coach.  I gossip about someone’s looks because I have reached a level of beautified perfection.  I gossip about another’s flaws because I believe I am without flaw.</p>
<p>This pride in thinking is believing a lie created in our mind that quickly forgets the grace that is regularly applied to you.</p>
<p>“<em>For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.</em>” (Romans 12:3, NASB95)</p>
<p>“<em>But He gives a greater grace. Therefore, it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”</em>” (James 4:6, NASB95)</p>
<p>“<em>For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.</em>” (Galatians 6:3, NASB95)</p>
<p>Once I have run through the gauntlet of realizing all the grace and mercy that God has applied to me, I am left with a heart of gratitude and not of criticism.</p>
<p>As I see all the sin and shame that God has taken from my life, I am left in a much more sympathetic approach to those around me.  Regardless of the content of my gossip, I must first forget the forgiveness of Savior that chose to rescue me amid my sinfulness.</p>
<p>How can I be critical of someone else when only by God’s grace was I able to be redeemed?</p>
<p><strong><em>Lord, protect me from the prideful sin of gossip!</em></strong></p>
<h2>2.Where gossip abounds, trust in God is missing!</h2>
<p>I need to tell you this just so you are aware of…</p>
<p>Now before you say that this is a dangerous position to silence the reporting of sinful activity or protecting people from a potentially dangerous situation, let me remind you that according to God’s Word there are proper channels to do this without gossiping.  Yes, you should confront a person in sin.  Yes, you should report a crime to those who are in a position to deal with that crime.  Yes, you should use wisdom and discernment on who you allow to influence those you love.  No, you do not need to run to tell everyone about every flaw within every single person.</p>
<p>What about if the person has hurt me?  Do not seek your own revenge?</p>
<p>What if the person is evil? Handle the situation appropriately and show the uncommon love of Christ towards them as you let God work.</p>
<p>What if they have become enemies to me?  Pray for God to work in their hearts and continue to love them.</p>
<p>“<em>Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. “But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.</em>” (Romans 12:17–21, NASB95)</p>
<p>“<em>“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.</em>” (Matthew 5:43–45, NASB95)</p>
<p>Often in gossip you are revealing that you trust the power of your tongue over the promises of God.</p>
<p>Yes, people will wrong you, but you do not need to out-wrong them in order to win.  Do you believe God’s promises?  Do not seek your own vengeance!  Feed your enemy!  Pray for those who wrong you!  Do not hate your enemy, but instead love your enemy.</p>
<p>When we respond to interpersonal problems in a biblical way, we communicate loudly to those around us that we do not have to gossip because we trust God’s promises to be true.</p>
<p><strong><em>Lord, help me trust you when I am critical of others.</em></strong></p>
<h2><em> 3.</em>Where gossip abounds, compassion is fleeing!</h2>
<p>When I gossip about someone else, I forsake all the principles of compassion for that person.  I stop seeing them as someone I am to care for and start seeing them as a roadblock to my happiness.</p>
<p>I forget the very words of Jesus who said that I should love my neighbor as myself.</p>
<p>“<em>Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;</em>” (Philippians 2:3, NASB95)</p>
<p>“<em>Jesus answered, “The foremost is, ‘Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is one Lord; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ “The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”</em>” (Mark 12:29–31, NASB95)</p>
<p>Our mindset to people we encounter should be very different than the mindset of those who have no relationship with Christ.  We should be growing to see others from the mindset that Christ demonstrated.  When Christ humbly left His rightful place to be made in the likeness as a bondservant and to dwell among us, His rebellious creation, He showed us the attitude that we must have in life.  Compassion for others allows us to humbly be made lower than we deserve to be to serve those who are not worthy of our service.</p>
<p>When I gossip about others, I am loudly announcing that I am not there to serve others, but rather to advance my position.  When I gossip about others, I do not love others as myself.  When I gossip about others, I forget the example of humility that Christ set for us.</p>
<p><strong><em>Lord, help me to see others as You see them.</em></strong></p>
<hr />
<p>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@quinoal?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Quino Al</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/black-corded-telephone-4SNUcHPiC8c?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Unsplash</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/02/what-gossip-reveals-unraveling-3-truths-about-your-heart/">What Gossip Reveals: Unraveling 3 Truths About Your Heart</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling">Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</a>.</p>
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		<title>12 Top Biblical Counseling Books of 2023</title>
		<link>https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/01/12-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2023/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Bob Kellemen]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Jan 2024 18:27:21 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Book Review]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=2471</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119103619/syd-wachs-slItfWbhijc-unsplash-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>This post originally appeared at RPM Ministries here: 12 Top Biblical Counseling Books of 2023. The Twelfth Annual Edition If you’re a counselor, pastor, student, educator, one-another minister, small group leader, soul care giver, spiritual friend, spouse, or parent, you want to know the most helpful books about biblical counseling. We all want trusted recommendations... <a class="read-more" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/01/12-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2023/">read more</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/01/12-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2023/">12 Top Biblical Counseling Books of 2023</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling">Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119103619/syd-wachs-slItfWbhijc-unsplash-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>This post originally appeared at RPM Ministries here: <a href="https://rpmministries.org/2023/12/12-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2023/"><em>12 Top Biblical Counseling Books of 2023</em></a>.</p>
<h2>The Twelfth Annual Edition</h2>
<p>If you’re a counselor, pastor, student, educator, one-another minister, small group leader, soul care giver, spiritual friend, spouse, or parent, you want to know <em>the most helpful books about biblical counseling</em>. We all want trusted recommendations on <em>books that seek to change lives with Christ’s changeless truth</em>.</p>
<p>We all want to be aware of solid resources for the Christian life and one-another ministry, That’s why <a href="https://rpmministries.org/">at RPM Ministries</a> I’ve collated the top biblical counseling books on an annual basis since 2012. See the end of this post for collated links to the <a href="https://rpmministries.org/2012/12/the-12-most-important-biblical-counseling-books-of-2012/">2012</a>, <a href="https://rpmministries.org/2014/01/20-most-important-biblical-counseling-books-of-2013-part-one/">2013 Part 1</a>, <a href="https://rpmministries.org/2014/01/20-most-important-biblical-counseling-books-of-2013-part-two/">2013 Part 2</a>, <a href="https://rpmministries.org/2014/12/14-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2014-2/">2014</a>, <a href="https://rpmministries.org/2015/12/15-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2015/">2015</a>, <a href="https://rpmministries.org/2017/01/16-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2016/">2016</a>, <a href="https://rpmministries.org/2017/12/17-top-biblical-counseling-books-2017/">2017</a>, <a href="https://rpmministries.org/2018/12/24-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2018/">2018</a>, <a href="https://rpmministries.org/2019/12/19-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2019/">2019</a>, <a href="https://rpmministries.org/2020/11/20-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2020/">2020</a>, <a href="https://rpmministries.org/2021/12/21-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2021/">2021</a>, <a href="https://rpmministries.org/2022/11/the-22-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2022/">2022</a>, and <a href="https://rpmministries.org/2023/12/12-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2023/">2023</a> lists.</p>
<p>That makes this year <em>the twelfth edition</em> of my annual listing of <em>top biblical counseling books</em>.</p>
<h2>The Selection Process</h2>
<p>In 2023, I had many highly relevant and significantly helpful biblical counseling books from which to choose. Since this is my twelfth year of collating these lists, I’ve selected a dozen top biblical counseling books published in 2023. I’ve chosen these 12 top books on the basis of their:</p>
<ol>
<li>Biblical/theological depth and richness</li>
<li>Faithfulness to the sufficiency of Scripture</li>
<li>Practicality for one-another ministry, biblical counseling, and soul care</li>
<li>Relevance to practical Christian living</li>
<li>Application to progressive sanctification</li>
<li>By accepting nominations from worldwide biblical counseling leaders</li>
<li>By accepting nominations from publishers</li>
<li>By researching other lists of top biblical counseling books</li>
</ol>
<p>I list these top biblical counseling books below <em>in alphabetical order </em>by author—the top 12 books published in 2023:</p>
<ul>
<li><em>About </em>biblical counseling,</li>
<li><em>About</em> Christian living, or</li>
<li><em>Important to</em> biblical counselors.</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>Note: </strong>I’ve developed the summaries after the books from wording by the authors and publishers. These summaries are <em>not </em>my book reviews of these resources.</p>
<h2>The 12 Top Biblical Counseling Books of 2023</h2>
<p><strong>Challies, Tim. </strong><a href="https://www.harvesthousepublishers.com/books/understanding-and-trusting-our-great-god-9780736985819"><em>Understanding and Trusting Our Great God</em></a><strong>. Harvest House.</strong></p>
<p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="wp-image-2476 alignleft" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105952/9780736985819_cft_300.jpg" alt="" width="194" height="194" srcset="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105952/9780736985819_cft_300.jpg 1601w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105952/9780736985819_cft_300-300x300.jpg 300w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105952/9780736985819_cft_300-665x665.jpg 665w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105952/9780736985819_cft_300-768x768.jpg 768w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105952/9780736985819_cft_300-1536x1536.jpg 1536w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105952/9780736985819_cft_300-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105952/9780736985819_cft_300-120x120.jpg 120w" sizes="(max-width: 194px) 100vw, 194px" />Do you desire to deepen your understanding of God and trust Him more fully? This beautifully designed devotional features poignant reflections from author Tim Challies on the quotable wisdom of some of Christianity’s most influential voices. In each chapter, Tim shares his spiritual insights on a different aspect of God’s character—His wisdom, power, holiness, justice, goodness, and faithfulness. The more you learn about who God is, the more your love for Him will grow, leading to greater joy and delight in Him.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Chappell, Christine. </strong><a href="https://www.prpbooks.com/book/midnight-mercies"><em>Midnight Mercies: Walking with God Through Depression in Motherhood</em></a><strong>. P&amp;R. </strong></p>
<p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class=" wp-image-2479 alignleft" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105957/9781629958842.jpg" alt="" width="156" height="241" srcset="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105957/9781629958842.jpg 205w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105957/9781629958842-194x300.jpg 194w" sizes="(max-width: 156px) 100vw, 156px" />Are you a mother who feels stuck in depression? You’re not the only Christian woman who knows what this darkness is like. When feelings of hopelessness, weariness, sadness, anger, anxiety, shame, and loneliness feel impossible to bear, it can seem like God is nowhere to be found. But there’s more to the story than you can presently perceive. Biblical counselor Christine Chappell has walked these dark paths herself—and she wants to help you to see God’s heart for you more clearly as you endure sorrow and pain. As Christine recounts her own midnight journey through depression and explores stories of desperate sufferers who experienced God’s mercy in the Scriptures, she shows how God meets us in our despair and helps us toward His light—one step at a time. Each chapter concludes with help in the form of practical next steps, a Scripture verse for contemplation and comfort, and questions for journaling.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Deuel, Dave, and Nancy Deuel. </strong><a href="https://www.shepherdpress.com/products/help-our-child-has-down-syndrome/"><em>Help! Our Child Has Down Syndrome</em></a><strong>. Shepherd Press. </strong></p>
<p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class=" wp-image-2488 alignleft" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110524/71D3AWdC25L._SY466_.jpg" alt="" width="162" height="242" srcset="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110524/71D3AWdC25L._SY466_.jpg 312w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110524/71D3AWdC25L._SY466_-201x300.jpg 201w" sizes="(max-width: 162px) 100vw, 162px" />Finding out your child has Down syndrome may feel overwhelming. Perhaps you think, “I didn’t sign up for this.” Dave and Nancy Deuel gently suggest an alternative: “God signed me up for this, so I’m going to commit it to His wise and loving care and give it all I’ve got.” Here they share the challenges, but above all the joys, unique to parenting a child who, by God’s design, has a diagnosis of Down syndrome. <strong>Dave and Nancy Deuel</strong> are the parents of Joanna Deuel who has a diagnosis of Down syndrome.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Hambrick, Brad. </strong><a href="https://newgrowthpress.com/christian-books/biblical-counseling-books/mobilizing-church-based-counseling-models-for-sustainable-church-based-care/"><em>Mobilizing Church-Based Counseling: Models for Sustainable Church-Based Care</em></a><strong>. New Growth Press.</strong></p>
<p>Many churches would like to launch a counseling ministry, but they don’t know where to start. <em>Mobilizing Church-<img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class=" wp-image-2485 alignleft" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110007/Mobilizing-Church-Based-Counseling-Frontcover__85085.jpg" alt="" width="280" height="280" srcset="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110007/Mobilizing-Church-Based-Counseling-Frontcover__85085.jpg 960w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110007/Mobilizing-Church-Based-Counseling-Frontcover__85085-300x300.jpg 300w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110007/Mobilizing-Church-Based-Counseling-Frontcover__85085-665x665.jpg 665w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110007/Mobilizing-Church-Based-Counseling-Frontcover__85085-768x768.jpg 768w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110007/Mobilizing-Church-Based-Counseling-Frontcover__85085-120x120.jpg 120w" sizes="(max-width: 280px) 100vw, 280px" />Based Counseling</em> by Brad Hambrick offers direction to churches for creating a ministry built around lay-led counseling groups and mentoring. Based upon proven models used in his congregation, Hambrick lays out a clear plan to launch a sustainable soul-care ministry that can be replicated in churches of any size. Hambrick brings clarity to common points of confusion about church-based counseling and offers guidance on how to offer oversight for lay-led counseling groups and mentoring relationships. Your church can ministry the hope of the gospel to the struggles of life—both sin and suffering—without incurring unwise liability or going beyond the capacity of your members.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Hodges, Charles, Editor. </strong><a href="https://newgrowthpress.com/christian-books/biblical-counseling-books/the-christian-counselors-medical-desk-reference-2nd-edition/"><em>The Christian Counselor&#8217;s Medical Desk Reference</em></a><strong>. 2nd Edition. New Growth Press.</strong></p>
<p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class=" wp-image-2482 alignleft" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110002/Christian-Counselors-Medical-The__83729.jpg" alt="" width="243" height="243" srcset="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110002/Christian-Counselors-Medical-The__83729.jpg 960w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110002/Christian-Counselors-Medical-The__83729-300x300.jpg 300w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110002/Christian-Counselors-Medical-The__83729-665x665.jpg 665w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110002/Christian-Counselors-Medical-The__83729-768x768.jpg 768w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110002/Christian-Counselors-Medical-The__83729-120x120.jpg 120w" sizes="(max-width: 243px) 100vw, 243px" />Dr. Charles Hodges and a team of contributing physicians, health care professionals, and biblical counselors answer questions and offer solid biblical principles about counseling individuals with medical issues as they address a variety of specific problems. Biblical counselors and pastors often have questions when a counselee struggles with a mixture of physical, emotional, and spiritual difficulties. The updated, revised second edition of <em>The Christian Counselor’s Medical Desk Reference</em> helps counselors understand how medical issues can impact counseling needs. Learn about specific conditions along with how to counsel the whole person.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Huie, Eliza. </strong><a href="https://www.thegoodbook.com/count-yourself-calm"><em>Count Yourself Calm: Taking BIG Feelings to a BIG God</em></a><strong>. The Good Book Company.</strong></p>
<p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="wp-image-2487 alignleft" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110011/w400h392f1d.6aac3e2f.37aae1df.jpg" alt="" width="209" height="205" srcset="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110011/w400h392f1d.6aac3e2f.37aae1df.jpg 400w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110011/w400h392f1d.6aac3e2f.37aae1df-300x294.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 209px) 100vw, 209px" />This beautifully illustrated and empathetically written book walks children through a calming exercise that focuses their attention on God and helps them manage their emotions. Through a combination of slow breathing, prayer, and focusing on five things about God and his good gifts, children will learn to count themselves calm. Children can practice this calming exercise while you read them the book and then use it when they feel upset, sad, angry, worried, anxious, or scared. This resource is a great tool to equip children 4-7 years old to regulate their emotions and calm down.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Moles, Chris, Editor. </strong><a href="https://newgrowthpress.com/christian-books/biblical-counseling-books/caring-for-families-caught-in-domestic-abuse-a-guide-toward-protection-refuge-and-hope/"><em>Caring for Families Caught in Domestic Abuse: A Guide Toward Protection, Refuge, and Hope</em></a><strong>. New Growth Press. </strong></p>
<p><em><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="wp-image-2481 alignleft" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110000/Caring-For-Families-Caught-In-Domestic-Abuse-Front-Cover__43582.jpg" alt="" width="273" height="273" srcset="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110000/Caring-For-Families-Caught-In-Domestic-Abuse-Front-Cover__43582.jpg 960w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110000/Caring-For-Families-Caught-In-Domestic-Abuse-Front-Cover__43582-300x300.jpg 300w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110000/Caring-For-Families-Caught-In-Domestic-Abuse-Front-Cover__43582-665x665.jpg 665w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110000/Caring-For-Families-Caught-In-Domestic-Abuse-Front-Cover__43582-768x768.jpg 768w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110000/Caring-For-Families-Caught-In-Domestic-Abuse-Front-Cover__43582-120x120.jpg 120w" sizes="(max-width: 273px) 100vw, 273px" />Caring for Families Caught in Domestic Abuse </em>is a comprehensive, Christ-centered response to the spiritual, emotional, and physical harm that domestic abuse causes to the abused spouse, the abusive spouse, and their children. Written by an experienced team of biblical counselors, editor Chris Moles and contributors Darby Strickland, Joy Forrest, Greg Wilson, Kirsten Christianson, and Beth Broom are all leaders in biblical domestic abuse ministry in the local church. Each chapter provides a detailed overview of how to minister biblically and faithfully to both the abused person and the abuser. Topics include the biblical and theological foundations for counseling each family member impacted by domestic abuse, direction on how to counsel the victims (spouse and children) and the abuser, and how to offer practical, actionable help to protect families from harm.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Scott, Stuart. </strong><a href="https://www.prpbooks.com/book/wayward-children"><em>Wayward Children: Finding Peace, Keeping Hope</em></a><strong><em>. </em></strong><strong>31-Day Devotional for Life. P&amp;R.</strong></p>
<p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="size-full wp-image-2478 alignleft" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105956/9781629955322.jpg" alt="" width="205" height="317" srcset="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105956/9781629955322.jpg 205w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105956/9781629955322-194x300.jpg 194w" sizes="(max-width: 205px) 100vw, 205px" />To parent a wayward or unbelieving child is one of the most difficult trials a Christian can face. Yet. even if this is your experience, there is hope and comfort to be found in God’s Word and God’s character. This 31-day devotional provides daily readings to offer you encouragement, biblical direction, and practical action steps. You yourself are the perfect Father’s child—let this devotional draw you to Him, His wisdom, and His guidance every day. Stuart writes not only as a wise counselor but as a father who has been immersed in the very words he offers</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Solomon, Curtis. </strong><a href="https://newgrowthpress.com/christian-books/biblical-counseling-books/i-have-ptsd-reorienting-after-trauma/"><em>I Have PTSD: Reorienting After Trauma</em></a><strong>. New Growth Press.</strong></p>
<p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="wp-image-2483 alignleft" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110004/I-Have-PTSD-frontcover__57382.jpg" alt="" width="290" height="290" srcset="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110004/I-Have-PTSD-frontcover__57382.jpg 960w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110004/I-Have-PTSD-frontcover__57382-300x300.jpg 300w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110004/I-Have-PTSD-frontcover__57382-665x665.jpg 665w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110004/I-Have-PTSD-frontcover__57382-768x768.jpg 768w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110004/I-Have-PTSD-frontcover__57382-120x120.jpg 120w" sizes="(max-width: 290px) 100vw, 290px" />Counselor and trauma expert, Curtis Solomon, helps those who have suffered the disorienting effects of a traumatic experience to reorient their lives to the path God has for them. Anyone who experiences a traumatic event feels confused, lost, out of control, unsure, and unsteady—disoriented. This kind of suffering leaves marks, on the body, on the soul, and often on both. In <em>I Have PTSD</em>, Solomon helps both those who have suffered trauma, as well as their loved ones, to understand the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual effects of trauma, while offering gospel hope and practical help to make that hope real in their lives.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Strickland, Darby. </strong><a href="https://www.prpbooks.com/book/trauma"><em>Trauma: Caring for Survivors</em></a><strong>. P&amp;R.</strong></p>
<p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="wp-image-2480 alignleft" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105958/9781629959863.jpg" alt="" width="188" height="310" srcset="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105958/9781629959863.jpg 205w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105958/9781629959863-182x300.jpg 182w" sizes="(max-width: 188px) 100vw, 188px" />Survivors of trauma often face extreme and overwhelming suffering. Their wounds are so complex—anyone who desires to effectively treat the vast impacts of trauma must offer comprehensive and intentional care. Darby Strickland helps counselors and helpers to understand trauma and its effects so they can offer compassion and comfort that is both biblical and trauma-informed. She presents the foundations of trauma care, so that readers can address the impact of a sufferer’s experience, ensure the safety and stability of the survivor, and build trust with the hurting. These tools will help counselors and helpers to restore a sufferer to flourishing in their love for God and others. In this way, those who counsel trauma sufferers along the perilous journey of recovery can emulate our good and ultimate Guide . . . and learn to trust Him for the results.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Tautges, Paul. </strong><a href="https://www.prpbooks.com/book/remade"><em>Remade: Embracing Your Complete Identity in Christ</em></a><strong>. P&amp;R. </strong></p>
<p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="size-full wp-image-2477 alignleft" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105955/9781629952369.jpg" alt="" width="205" height="312" srcset="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105955/9781629952369.jpg 205w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119105955/9781629952369-197x300.jpg 197w" sizes="(max-width: 205px) 100vw, 205px" />Do you know who you are? Often our self-perception, even as Christians, is fragmented or incomplete—we struggle to grasp the richly faceted identity we’ve been given in Christ. When our evaluation of ourselves, our sin, and our circumstances is misaligned with God’s view, we don’t live with the comfort and motivation Christ offers. In this Scripture-saturated devotional, pastor and biblical counselor Paul Tautges provides 90 meditations on your complete<em> </em>identity before God in Christ. You are a <em>saint </em>in good standing before God, yet you are simultaneously a <em>sinner </em>who must battle with your desires and a <em>sufferer </em>who undergoes hardship. Day by day, discover how grasping this threefold biblical reality centers your thoughts and affections on the Savior and prepares you to stay on God’s good path as you live in a broken world.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Welch, Ed. </strong><a href="https://newgrowthpress.com/christian-books/biblical-counseling-books/someone-i-know-is-grieving-responding-with-humility-and-compassion/"><em>Someone I Know Is Grieving: Responding with Humility and Compassion</em></a><strong>. New Growth Press.</strong></p>
<p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="wp-image-2486 alignleft" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110009/Someone-I-Know-Is-Grieving-frontcover__96009.jpg" alt="" width="325" height="325" srcset="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110009/Someone-I-Know-Is-Grieving-frontcover__96009.jpg 960w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110009/Someone-I-Know-Is-Grieving-frontcover__96009-300x300.jpg 300w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110009/Someone-I-Know-Is-Grieving-frontcover__96009-665x665.jpg 665w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110009/Someone-I-Know-Is-Grieving-frontcover__96009-768x768.jpg 768w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110009/Someone-I-Know-Is-Grieving-frontcover__96009-120x120.jpg 120w" sizes="(max-width: 325px) 100vw, 325px" />Ed Welch walks readers through the difficult task of coming alongside grieving people with genuine compassion and humility. When someone is grieving, it can be hard to know what to say or do. We want to be helpful, not hurtful, but it’s easy to go wrong. The good news is that we can learn to approach those who are grieving with the same compassion that Jesus shows us when we are grieving. It starts with humility and listening well and expands into practical support. In <em>Someone I Know Is Grieving</em>, Welch leans on his many years of counseling grieving people in order to help readers learn from their compassionate Savior how to respond to people’s sadness by listening to their story, learning from others’ experiences, and depending on the Word and the Spirit for wisdom for how to relate and respond.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>“A Baker’s Dozen”: A 13<sup>th</sup> Biblical Counseling Resource for 2023</h2>
<p><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="wp-image-2484 alignleft" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110005/Life-Counsel-Bible-Jacketed-Hardcover__29794.jpg" alt="" width="310" height="310" srcset="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110005/Life-Counsel-Bible-Jacketed-Hardcover__29794.jpg 960w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110005/Life-Counsel-Bible-Jacketed-Hardcover__29794-300x300.jpg 300w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110005/Life-Counsel-Bible-Jacketed-Hardcover__29794-665x665.jpg 665w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110005/Life-Counsel-Bible-Jacketed-Hardcover__29794-768x768.jpg 768w, https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240119110005/Life-Counsel-Bible-Jacketed-Hardcover__29794-120x120.jpg 120w" sizes="(max-width: 310px) 100vw, 310px" />This final, and extra resource, is a Bible published in 2023 with a biblical counseling focus. I decided to include it in its own category.</p>
<p>Holman Bible Publishers. <a href="https://newgrowthpress.com/bibles/adult-bibles-books/csb-life-counsel-bible-practical-wisdom-for-all-of-life-jacketed-hardcover/"><em>Life Counsel Bible: Practical Wisdom for All of Life</em></a>. New Growth Press.</p>
<p>In the midst of challenging seasons of life there is hope. The <em>CSB Life Counsel Bible</em>, developed in partnership with New Growth Press, is designed to equip readers with biblical truth and counsel on a wide range of topics and tough life issues related to relationships, marriage, parenting, and more. This Bible is full of useful tools and resources for life application and discipleship grounded in the truth of the gospel of grace. It features more than 150 full-length articles from respected biblical counselors and scholars. Article contributors include David Powlison, Edward T. Welch, Paul Tripp, Stephen Viars, Amy Baker, Michael Emlet, Elyse Fitzpatrick, Justin Holcomb, Bob Kellemen, Diane Langberg, Timothy S. Lane, Robert Jones, Marty Machowski, Deepak Reju, Joni Eareckson Tada, and many more. It includes callout quotes placed near each article that provide truth, hope, and encouragement to remember and apply to life. You will benefit from over 100 word studies focusing on key words from the Bible applicable to personal healing, growth, and counsel.</p>
<h2>212 Top Biblical Counseling Books from the Past Dozen Years: 2012-2023</h2>
<p><strong>2023: </strong><a href="https://rpmministries.org/2023/12/12-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2023/">12 Top Biblical Counseling Books of 2023</a></p>
<p><strong>2022: </strong><a href="https://rpmministries.org/2022/11/the-22-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2022/">The 22 Top Biblical Counseling Books of 2022</a></p>
<p><strong>2021: </strong><a href="https://rpmministries.org/2021/12/21-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2021/">21 Top Biblical Counseling Books of 2021</a></p>
<p><strong>2020: </strong><a href="https://bit.ly/20BCbooks2020">20 Top Biblical Counseling Books of 2020</a></p>
<p><strong>2019: </strong><a href="http://bit.ly/19TopBC2019">19 Top Biblical Counseling Books of 2019</a></p>
<p><strong>2018: </strong><a href="https://www.rpmministries.org/2018/12/24-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2018/">24 Top Biblical Counseling Books of 2018</a></p>
<p><strong>2017: </strong><a href="http://www.rpmministries.org/2017/12/17-top-biblical-counseling-books-2017/">The 17 Top Biblical Counseling Books of 2017</a></p>
<p><strong>2016: </strong><a href="https://www.rpmministries.org/2017/01/16-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2016/">The 16 Top Biblical Counseling Books of 2016</a></p>
<p><strong>2015: </strong><a href="http://www.rpmministries.org/2015/12/15-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2015/">The 15 Top Biblical Counseling Books of 2015</a></p>
<p><strong>2014: </strong><a href="http://www.rpmministries.org/2014/12/14-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2014-2/">The 14 Top Biblical Counseling Books of 2014</a><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>2013: </strong><a href="http://www.rpmministries.org/2014/01/20-most-important-biblical-counseling-books-of-2013-part-one/">The 20 Most Important Biblical Counseling Books of 2012, Part 1</a><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>2013: </strong><a href="http://www.rpmministries.org/2014/01/20-most-important-biblical-counseling-books-of-2013-part-two/">The 20 Most Important Biblical Counseling Books of 2013, Part 2</a></p>
<p><strong>2012: </strong><a href="http://www.rpmministries.org/2012/12/the-12-most-important-biblical-counseling-books-of-2012/">The 12 Most Important Biblical Counseling Books of 2012</a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>Join the Conversation</h2>
<p>What biblical counseling books published in 2023 do you most highly recommend?</p>
<p>Which biblical counseling books from 2023 most impacted your life? Your ministry?</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h2>All 12 (13) Books and</h2>
<p><strong>Challies, Tim. </strong><a href="https://www.harvesthousepublishers.com/books/understanding-and-trusting-our-great-god-9780736985819"><em>Understanding and Trusting Our Great God</em></a><strong>. Harvest House.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Chappell, Christine. </strong><a href="https://www.prpbooks.com/book/midnight-mercies"><em>Midnight Mercies: Walking with God Through Depression in Motherhood</em></a><strong>. P&amp;R. </strong></p>
<p><strong>Deuel, Dave, and Nancy Deuel. </strong><a href="https://www.shepherdpress.com/products/help-our-child-has-down-syndrome/"><em>Help! Our Child Has Down Syndrome</em></a><strong>. Shepherd Press. </strong></p>
<p><strong>Hambrick, Brad. </strong><a href="https://newgrowthpress.com/christian-books/biblical-counseling-books/mobilizing-church-based-counseling-models-for-sustainable-church-based-care/"><em>Mobilizing Church-Based Counseling: Models for Sustainable Church-Based Care</em></a><strong>. New Growth Press.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Hodges, Charles, Editor. </strong><a href="https://newgrowthpress.com/christian-books/biblical-counseling-books/the-christian-counselors-medical-desk-reference-2nd-edition/"><em>The Christian Counselor&#8217;s Medical Desk Reference</em></a><strong>. 2nd Edition. New Growth Press.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Huie, Eliza. </strong><a href="https://www.thegoodbook.com/count-yourself-calm"><em>Count Yourself Calm: Taking BIG Feelings to a BIG God</em></a><strong>. The Good Book Company.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Moles, Chris, Editor. </strong><a href="https://newgrowthpress.com/christian-books/biblical-counseling-books/caring-for-families-caught-in-domestic-abuse-a-guide-toward-protection-refuge-and-hope/"><em>Caring for Families Caught in Domestic Abuse: A Guide Toward Protection, Refuge, and Hope</em></a><strong>. New Growth Press. </strong></p>
<p><strong>Scott, Stuart. </strong><a href="https://www.prpbooks.com/book/wayward-children"><em>Wayward Children: Finding Peace, Keeping Hope</em></a><strong><em>. </em></strong><strong> 31-Day Devotional for Life. P&amp;R.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Solomon, Curtis. </strong><a href="https://newgrowthpress.com/christian-books/biblical-counseling-books/i-have-ptsd-reorienting-after-trauma/"><em>I Have PTSD: Reorienting After Trauma</em></a><strong>. New Growth Press.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Strickland, Darby. </strong><a href="https://www.prpbooks.com/book/trauma"><em>Trauma: Caring for Survivors</em></a><strong>. P&amp;R.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Tautges, Paul. </strong><a href="https://www.prpbooks.com/book/remade"><em>Remade: Embracing Your Complete Identity in Christ</em></a><strong>. P&amp;R. </strong></p>
<p><strong>Welch, Ed. </strong><a href="https://newgrowthpress.com/christian-books/biblical-counseling-books/someone-i-know-is-grieving-responding-with-humility-and-compassion/"><em>Someone I Know Is Grieving: Responding with Humility and Compassion</em></a><strong>. New Growth Press.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Holman Bible Publishers.</strong> <a href="https://newgrowthpress.com/bibles/adult-bibles-books/csb-life-counsel-bible-practical-wisdom-for-all-of-life-jacketed-hardcover/"><em>Life Counsel Bible: Practical Wisdom for All of Life</em></a>.<strong> New Growth Press.</strong></p>
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<p>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@videmusart?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Syd Wachs</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/macro-photo-of-five-assorted-books-slItfWbhijc?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Unsplash</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/01/12-top-biblical-counseling-books-of-2023/">12 Top Biblical Counseling Books of 2023</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling">Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</a>.</p>
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		<title>Sing!</title>
		<link>https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/01/sing/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Stefan Nitzschke]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Jan 2024 19:33:52 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Emotions/Feelings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Temptation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Counseling Process]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trials/Pain/Suffering]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[homework]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Joy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rejoice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Singing]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=2464</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240109143258/nathan-mullet-7bRNqEVb6Zg-unsplash-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>Singing is not for the fainthearted. David, the warrior-king, had shed so much blood that he was disqualified from building God’s temple (1 Chron 22:8). Yet he was arguably Scriptures most proficient songwriter. David’s son, Solomon—whose kingdom and wisdom is exceeded by Christ’s alone—is credited as writing the “Song of Songs,” along with 1,005 other... <a class="read-more" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/01/sing/">read more</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/01/sing/">Sing!</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling">Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20240109143258/nathan-mullet-7bRNqEVb6Zg-unsplash-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>Singing is not for the fainthearted. David, the warrior-king, had shed so much blood that he was disqualified from building God’s temple (1 Chron 22:8). Yet he was arguably Scriptures most proficient songwriter. David’s son, Solomon—whose kingdom and wisdom is exceeded by Christ’s alone—is credited as writing the “Song of Songs,” along with 1,005 other compositions (1 Kings 4:32). The angels, whose presence necessitates a call to not be afraid, are recorded singing throughout the Bible as well. We see a pattern in Scripture: the strong will sing to God.</p>
<h2>God created us as singing beings</h2>
<p>Scripture contains around 50 commands to sing, which should be evidence enough of its need and value. But our very created composition reinforces this notion! God made us in His image, and He Himself is a singing God:</p>
<p><em>The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.</em> – Zephaniah 3:17 (ESV)</p>
<p>The way He formed us makes this clear. Our physical makeup parallels that of a musical instrument: we have vocal cords that vibrate to generate sound, like the plucking of a string or the activation of a wind instrument. God made our body with natural resonance (mainly in the chest and pharyngeal cavities), like the body of a viola or the tubing of a horn. Furthermore, our mouth/tongue/teeth add specific <em>meaning</em> to the sound, as words are formulated. The blast of a trumpet may mean something implicitly, but the instrument that the Lord equipped us with is unique in this quality.</p>
<h2>Requires Humility</h2>
<p>The act of singing is unique as well. It’s humbling, it’s engaging, and it’s powerful. Humbling, in that there’s a sense of <em>vulnerability</em> that accompanies singing. A simple Google search will provide endless rankings of people’s greatest fears. Curiously enough, public speaking often ranks higher than <em>death</em>. Ask an average person to speak (or sing) in front of a large group and, according to the studies, he’d rather be dead… Singing, more so than speaking, requires us to humble ourselves.</p>
<p>Singing allows us to engage mentally or emotionally in ways that speaking falls short. What can you tell me about Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer? Probably quite a lot: you know about his life’s story as well as his brave leadership qualities, humility in the face of trial and persecution, perseverance, and so forth. How? Did your parents sit you down and walk you through his harrowing tale? Did you dedicate hours of your life to committing these facts to long-term memory? No! You’ve heard the song a bunch of times and simply hit “play” in your mind—the music does the rest. But singing also engages us emotionally in a unique manner. Think of your favorite song. For me (from a secular-perspective), it has always been and will forever be Boston’s “More Than a Feeling.” But imagine Brad Delp speaking the lyrics of the song, rather than singing them… Needless to say, it would probably not make my top ten list. The same goes for your favorite song as well, I’m sure.</p>
<p>I could go on about the powerful nature of style variation (e.g., Major + Allegro = jubilant message (“I’ll Fly Away”) or Minor + Adagio = somber message (“O Come, O Come Emmanuel”)). More could be said about the corporate bonding that occurs when people sing together. Or I could expound on music’s habit of putting the enemy to flight (1 Sam 16:14-19, 23). But it’s time to get to the point of this article:</p>
<p>You should assign singing in your discipleship.</p>
<p>Scripture recounts a myriad of settings and purposes for singing. Depending on the need and circumstance, you should help others see the power and pertinence of song as you point them to Christ.</p>
<h2>Sing in Joy and Victory</h2>
<p>The first recorded song in God’s Word is found in Exodus 15 (though, in fairness, many believe Genesis 2:23 contains the first song). The Lord had just delivered His people in a manner that He alone could orchestrate. He called a stuttering and murderous adoptee (who was, at the time of his calling, preoccupied with the low occupation of shepherding) to compel the most powerful person on the planet to free his slaves. Ten miraculous signs later, the Israelites are released to the wilderness where God parts the waters of a massive sea to allow His people an escape from the chasing Egyptians. God Himself then wipes out the enemy by releasing the waters. With Egyptian bodies washing ashore, what was the first thing the redeemed people of God did? “<em>Then Moses and the people of Israel sand this song to the Lord…</em>” (Ex 15:1, ESV).</p>
<p>God wants us to sing to Him in the midst of victory and joy, lest we believe it was <em>our </em>doing. He wants us to recount His wonderful deeds and commit them to our memory—far more than He cares about our knowledge of Rudolph and his reindeer games. When the Lord delivers an overwhelming victory in the life of your mentee, how ought they respond? Certainly not less than the Israelites… Have them sing to Him in their car, or write a song of their own, or even invite others over (possibly men/women who can play/sing) to rejoice with them.</p>
<h2>Sing in Temptation</h2>
<p>Singing in the midst of temptation is probably not a natural inclination to the majority of folks. But is there a biblical precedent? Psalm 141 is worth quoting extensively:</p>
<p><strong><em><sup>1</sup></em></strong><em> O Lord, I call upon you; hasten to me!<br />
Give ear to my voice when I call to you!<br />
<strong><sup>2 </sup></strong>Let my prayer be counted as incense before you,<br />
and the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice!<br />
<strong><sup>3 </sup></strong>Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth;<br />
keep watch over the door of my lips!<br />
<strong><sup>4 </sup></strong>Do not let my heart incline to any evil,<br />
to busy myself with wicked deeds<br />
in company with men who work iniquity,<br />
and let me not eat of their delicacies!&#8230;</em><strong><em><sup><br />
8 </sup></em></strong><em>…But my eyes are toward you, O God, my Lord;<br />
in you I seek refuge; leave me not defenseless!<br />
<strong><sup>9 </sup></strong>Keep me from the trap that they have laid for me<br />
and from the snares of evildoers!</em> – Psalm 141:1-4, 8-9 (ESV)</p>
<p>In the hot crucible of temptation, David <em>sings</em>. Admittedly, this will likely take forethought and specific planning. It can be something as simple as: “the next time you’re tempted to _______, put on some headphones and play _______ song while you sing along.”</p>
<p>I had a college-aged friend who struggled with lustful eyes and thoughts while he was on campus. To dissuade this temptation, he propped a speaker on his backpack while walking to class and played worship music while singing aloud. Guess where the eyes of his heart were fixed (c.f., verse 8)&#8230; While your mentee, counselee, or person you’re discipling may reply “never in 1,000 years” to this program, have a plan to overwhelm temptation with song!</p>
<h2>Sing in Suffering</h2>
<p>One of the most powerful moments I’ve experienced at a funeral is when a husband who was standing feet away from his wife’s coffin pulled out a guitar and sang a song of worship to the Lord. He was grieving deeply, yet his Rock remained Christ. The song was a reminder of this fact to the rest of us.</p>
<p>This brings us to the last recorded song in the Bible, which (in God’s providence) is also the first. Revelation 6 instigates a series of judgments poured out on the earth: war, famine, plague—mass death. God’s enemies rise up and face an incredible slaughter (chapters 12-14). As heaven is queuing up for another bout of unimaginable judgment that will be described in chapters 16-18, chapter 15 contains a curious interjection. A great number of heaven’s occupants “<em>sang the song of God’s servant Moses and the song of the Lamb: Great and awe-inspiring are Your works, Lord God, the Almighty; righteous and true are Your ways, King of the Nations</em>” (Rev 15:3, HCSB).</p>
<p>With death, destruction, and the end of all earthly things before them, the people of God will <em>sing</em>. It is no less appropriate for us to sing in the midst of suffering. About 39 Psalms are dedicated to the theme of lament. Though poetry, Jeremiah’s “Lamentations” were written upon the unraveling of all things around him. We see it as a pattern in Scripture: sometimes when everything is taken away, the only thing that remains is a song to the Lord (c.f., Acts 16:25). Have your mentee write their own Psalm in the midst of his or her suffering. Though few (from a modern perspective), have them sing an impactful song of lament to the Lord. Ensure they’re not neglecting this potent tool of worship in their struggle.</p>
<h2>Conclusion</h2>
<p>There are several other reasons to sing—this article is not intended to be exhaustive. The three examples provided are meant to serve as an argument for biblical precedent, while suggesting possible points of application. God created a musical instrument that is seated across from you in the counseling room—ensure it’s not collecting metaphorical dust.</p>
<p>As a final note, it’s worth mentioning ability. Not all of us sing like Andrea Bocelli or have the instrumental caliber of Yo-Yo Ma. Fortunately, there are no mandatory auditions for God’s musical group. Each one of us is <em>qualified</em> and <em>compelled</em> to lift our song to Him, thus we are also without excuse. To quote Bill Staines: “All God’s critters got a place in the choir…”</p>
<hr />
<p>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@nate072107?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">NATHAN MULLET</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/woman-in-red-white-and-blue-plaid-shirt-smoking-cigarette-7bRNqEVb6Zg?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Unsplash</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2024/01/sing/">Sing!</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling">Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</a>.</p>
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		<title>Rising Above the Din</title>
		<link>https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2023/12/rising-above-the-din/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Candace Dunston]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Dec 2023 15:31:10 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[The Counseling Process]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=2456</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20231208134015/robin-worrall-FPt10LXK0cg-unsplash-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>I wish my counselees could hear the word of God above the din of the 21st century.  I mourn for them. “How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed?  And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard?  And how are they to hear without... <a class="read-more" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2023/12/rising-above-the-din/">read more</a></p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20231208134015/robin-worrall-FPt10LXK0cg-unsplash-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>I wish my counselees could hear the word of God above the din of the 21<sup>st</sup> century.  I mourn for them.</p>
<p>“How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed?  And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard?  And how are they to hear without someone preaching?  And how are they to preach unless they are sent?  As it is written, ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!’ Romans 10:14-15</p>
<h2>The Gospel</h2>
<p>Thanks be to God, there are many saints who have taken the mantra of these verses and hit the streets sharing the gospel.  We want to make sure it is preached, heard, and believed.  The Bible describes it as beautiful to behold.  Though many have not yet encountered the beautiful feet of those who are sharing the gospel, it is not solely because the saints are not preaching.  The world is also not hearing.  John Gresham Machen, the founder of the Westminster Theological Seminary, describes another hearing problem in this quote:</p>
<p>“The vast majority of those who reject the gospel do so simply because they know nothing about it.  But whence comes this indifference?  It is due to the intellectual atmosphere in which men are living.  The modern world is dominated by ideas which ignore the gospel.  Modern culture is not altogether opposed to the gospel.  But it is out of all connection with it.  It not only prevents the acceptance of Christianity.  It prevents Christianity from getting a hearing.”</p>
<p>I’d like to key in on the phrase, “the modern world is dominated by ideas which ignore the gospel.”  He suggests here that Christianity is not being accepted because the saints don’t get a voice. We’re over-powered.  You could say, we come to the podium, but our microphone is never turned on. We’re talking but there is a voice-over. It is discouraging to preach your message when your voice is constantly muted.</p>
<p>I’d like to posit a thesis of extension to Machen’s idea.  Christianity does get air time but the world is loud.  What is shared about the gospel is deafeningly diluted by the psychological atmosphere in which we are living.  It is as if we are not speaking at all.  Let me share further.</p>
<h2>Not accustomed to silence</h2>
<p>I’ve recognized a sobering reality with my counselees of late.  During their time away from a given counseling session, they often complete the assigned homework while simultaneously still listening to many other voices.  Their lives, for the most part, are spent in the clouds, listening to music, enjoying memes, finding input from others, and trying to keep up with acquaintances near and far.  It is never-ending.  They are not accustomed to silence.  They are not accustomed to managing nor wrestling with their own thoughts, not to mention the thoughts of Christ.  So, they quickly complete the homework and return to their other, non-gospel world.</p>
<p>I’ve had to humble myself and work to fully understand my sister-counselees with this problem.  I am the opposite of what I described above.  I love silence.  I look forward to the moment in the day when I can contemplate a new idea, solve a logistical problem, ponder a bible passage, or write my next book, all in my head!  I actually enjoy the challenge of managing and wrestling with my own thoughts.  Fighting to live out 2 Corinthians 10:5 is a worthy and exciting goal for me.  Sadly, this is not the case for many counselees, especially the younger set.</p>
<p>As I was speaking with a counselee recently who had committed to a media fast of sorts, I leaned heavily into her story to get beyond the presenting problem.  The abstinence from voices was an absolute nightmare experience for her!  Why?  Because usually, when she is sad it is her wont to find the right song, when she is bored she finds the exciting meme, when she is happy she finds the accompanying image, when she wants to make a meal, try something new—you name it, there is an endless source from the bottomless internet bag.  In short, there is no thinking necessary in this new world!  Someone else is eagerly willing and waiting to manage your thoughts for you.  Unfortunately, all my counselee has to do is submit to the online world.  Fascinating, facile, and frightening!</p>
<h2>Struggles with human engagement</h2>
<p>This surrender to the “air” also causes my counselees to struggles with human engagement.  Talking to the screen prevents them from practicing conversation with real people.  As a result, figuring out how to navigate face-to-face communication today is awkward and therefore avoided by many.  We have literally forgotten how to be around real humans and how to think about what to say to one another.  Consider some of the ways in which we no longer need to talk to others:</p>
<ol>
<li>You have no reason to visit me because you can just text me.</li>
<li>You have no reason to ask me how to bake a turkey because you can just google it.</li>
<li>You have no reason to ask your elders how to care for your babies because you just go to the latest YouTube video.</li>
<li>You have no reason to ask mom what to do about sickness today because you can just do a search on your symptoms and there are at least a thousand other people feeling what you feel and they have already named your disorder before you can fully describe it yourself.</li>
<li>You have no reason to get along with me because you don’t have to spend time with me.</li>
<li>You don’t have to practice kindness with the store clerk because you don’t have to enter the store anymore.</li>
<li>You definitely don’t have to practice patience in checkout lines because everybody can check out online at the same time!</li>
</ol>
<p>Human contact is no longer <em>necessary</em>.  And you may not know it yet, but it’s a lonely existence. And we have all kinds of mental challenges because of it.</p>
<h2>Conclusion</h2>
<p>What’s the greatest danger here? Let’s review and conclude.  We cannot manage thoughts, we cannot navigate conversations, and in turn we cannot discern God’s voice, because we live in a world that is dominated by ideas that muffle the goodness of the gospel.</p>
<p>We must force counselees to settle down and read the word of God for a significant amount of time, read the same passage multiple times, and do it all in silence.  Lately I have been having them read and journal the same short passages for six to seven days in a row, until they see me again.  Due to the din, it is taking that long to digest the simplest of passages.  What a great amount of time it takes to wade through the counselee’s accumulated mental garbage, shut off the source, and clear a path for the word of God!</p>
<p>We must continue to fight to help counselees confront their own thoughts, read diligently and then think biblically about everything.  They cannot take intrusive thoughts captives when there are continual invasive thoughts from digital devices.  Thoughts that are continuously masked by music, memes, or other media can never be properly addressed and/or replaced.  This is an aggressive yet sometimes subtle enemy attack.  Let’s work hard to break this interference at every opportunity.</p>
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<p>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@robin_rednine?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">ROBIN WORRALL</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/person-holding-black-phone-FPt10LXK0cg?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Unsplash</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2023/12/rising-above-the-din/">Rising Above the Din</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling">Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</a>.</p>
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		<title>Breaking the Cycle of Reaction(less) Counseling</title>
		<link>https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2023/11/breaking-the-cycle-of-reactionless-counseling/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Stefan Nitzschke]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 28 Nov 2023 13:43:01 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[The Counseling Process]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=2451</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20231128084138/dave-adamson-nATH0CrkMU-unsplash-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>It takes a particular kind of person to be a good quarterback in football. He needs to be able to lead, throw, scramble, think on his feet, evade the tackle, anticipate in the moment, scan the field, and more. Possessing only one or two of these qualities may make for an adequate quarterback, but the... <a class="read-more" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2023/11/breaking-the-cycle-of-reactionless-counseling/">read more</a></p>
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]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20231128084138/dave-adamson-nATH0CrkMU-unsplash-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>It takes a particular kind of person to be a good quarterback in football. He needs to be able to lead, throw, scramble, think on his feet, evade the tackle, anticipate in the moment, scan the field, and more. Possessing only one or two of these qualities may make for an adequate quarterback, but the Hall of Famers have it all.</p>
<p>Imagine a quarterback who is very gifted at evading tacklers, but little else. Even the greatest of scramblers can only run around for so long before the pocket crumbles and <em>someone</em> eventually gets him. He’s always reacting to what’s happening in the moment and never thinking about the intent of the play. Or what about the guy who has the arm of gold but feet of lead: that hand-canon does little good if it’s constantly laid out on the turf with the rest of him. He may be able to launch the ball 50 yards into the hands of a speeding receiver, but if he doesn’t mind his surroundings, he’ll never have the opportunity.</p>
<h2>But what makes for a good counselor?</h2>
<p>Take the scrambler: able to respond to whatever issue a counselee may throw at him at any given week. He’s got a verse to suit the moment, homework to combat the issue throughout the week, and the comforting word to put a restless heart at ease. Every week he’s thinking, “what’ll it be today?” Has he got it all?</p>
<p>Compare that to the lead-footed launcher. From <em>just</em> the information provided on an intake form, he’s got the end charted out before the counselee even steps foot into his office. Nothing seems to shake him—no crippling life events, no backslidings into sin, no neglect of homework—nothing. He’s got the long game in mind, and his eyes are dead-fixed on the end (that is, when his counselees stick around). Has he got it all?</p>
<p>The obvious answer to both is “no;” each skill can benefit from the other. That’s why it’s necessary to soberly assess our own strengths and weaknesses and make adjustments where needed. Most often, counselors fall into the pit of “reactionary” counseling where the issue of the week is the topic of the day. But (by way of example) what if a couple came in to fix their crumbling marriage? The problem this week with their son may be a significant one, but it won’t be much of an issue if they keep on their current trajectory! The scrambling counselor who loses the end objective will eventually run out of time.</p>
<p>Conversely, take that same couple that has come in for marriage counseling and has just endured a treacherous week with one of their kids. If that news is met with a shrug, the likelihood of a subsequent meeting has just gone down drastically. And it’s hard to counsel a couple that’s not there (by my experience, at least).</p>
<h2>What’s the remedy?</h2>
<p>Have a plan, but be ready to <em>scrap it</em>. Those who never stop to consider “what will move the ball forward this today?” will find themselves scrambling week-over week, reacting to the urgent to the neglect of the important. But those who never factor in the messiness of life or our ability to incorrectly read a situation will end up talking to an empty chair. A counselor is little good if he hasn’t learned to scramble.</p>
<p>And as you’re scrambling, don’t lose sight of the end goal.</p>
<hr />
<p>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@aussiedave?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Dave Adamson</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/brown-and-black-wilson-football--nATH0CrkMU?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash">Unsplash</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2023/11/breaking-the-cycle-of-reactionless-counseling/">Breaking the Cycle of Reaction(less) Counseling</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling">Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</a>.</p>
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		<title>Why we are not done (and the importance of ongoing training)</title>
		<link>https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2023/11/why-we-are-not-done-and-the-importance-of-ongoing-training/</link>
					<comments>https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2023/11/why-we-are-not-done-and-the-importance-of-ongoing-training/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Rod Hutton]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Nov 2023 16:34:20 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Counseling Education]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/?p=2432</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20231013084424/USS-Fitzgerald-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><p>Even on the best of days We would like to think that every time we begin to counsel, the destination will be God’s beautiful sanctifying work in another, and we will rejoice in having the front-row seat. But what about the times when that is not where we land? What about the times when we... <a class="read-more" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2023/11/why-we-are-not-done-and-the-importance-of-ongoing-training/">read more</a></p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2023/11/why-we-are-not-done-and-the-importance-of-ongoing-training/">Why we are not done (and the importance of ongoing training)</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling">Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<img width="665" height="278" src="https://faith-blog-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/20231013084424/USS-Fitzgerald-665x278.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" decoding="async" loading="lazy" style="display: block; margin-bottom: 5px; clear:both;max-width: 100%;" link_thumbnail="" /><h2>Even on the best of days</h2>
<p><span data-contrast="auto">We would like to think that every time we begin to counsel, the destination will be God’s beautiful sanctifying work in another, and we will rejoice in having the front-row seat. But what about the times when that is not where we land? What about the times when we feel as though we have run headlong into a brick wall, and rather than a front-row seat to a redeeming work it looks more like a shipwreck.  </span><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<p><span data-contrast="auto">As a retired Naval Officer, I know of no officer who started their day thinking “I am going to cause a shipwreck today.” Yet, in spite of the best of efforts, though rare, on some days two ships will collide on a big ocean and the consequences are always catastrophic.  For example, in 2017, USS Fitzgerald collided with a container ship off the coast of Japan and then, 9 weeks later, the USS John S. McCain collided with a chemical transport in the shipping lanes near Singapore.  The cost of those collisions included the lives of 17 Sailors.</span><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<p><span data-contrast="auto">After 30 years of sailing and serving with the finest men and women our nation has to offer, I remain exceptionally proud of what they are able to accomplish day by day in the most challenging environments in the world. Yet, history demonstrates that even the best of the best cannot guarantee a perfect outcome.  From these two collisions, and many others, the common thread woven through them was an issue of training.  Whether it was knowledge not yet gained, or skills that had atrophied, when the outcome turns ugly, we must ask the question, “What could I have done to prepare?” In the Navy that meant honestly asking “How was I trained?”</span><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<p><span data-contrast="auto">Though a counseling case gone bad may not appear to have the same consequences as a collision at sea, I might argue that the significance can be even greater.  In the counseling room, we are addressing the spiritual lives and eternal destinies of those who come for counsel from God’s Word.  The collisions that we are looking to prevent may tear a marriage or family apart, leave a person enslaved to the desires of a sinful heart, or even result in a person’s relationship with God remaining broken.  I believe we must ask the question as well – “What could I have done to prepare?”  In the extreme, it may even cause us to question whether we were ready to counsel.</span><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<h2>Yes – We do have what we need</h2>
<p><span data-contrast="auto">To answer these questions, we must first remind ourselves what we are seeking to do in biblical counseling and the tools we have available. As ministers of the Word, Paul calls us to “</span><i><span data-contrast="auto">Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another.</span></i><span data-contrast="auto">” (Col 3:16) and describing followers of Christ, he said, “</span><i><span data-contrast="auto">And concerning you, my brethren, I myself am convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and are able to admonish one another.</span></i><span data-contrast="auto">” (Rom 15:14).  Each of Paul’s statements holds to the assumption that we are teaching and admonishing from the sufficient Word which provides all the answers we need for life and godliness. </span><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<p><span data-contrast="auto">The biggest variable after the counselee is the counselor themself. Are we equipped to counsel? “Paul set forth goodness and knowledge as qualifications for Good Counselors…(and) recognized that any Christian may engage in nouthetic counseling, so long as he possesses the qualities of goodness and knowledge.” (J. Adams, Competent to Counsel p. 60).  This is encouraging, but it still leaves the questions of what went wrong for a case that ends poorly.  The answers to that are complex and sometimes are far more related to the response of the counselee than the actions of the counselor. But if we desire to grow and let the word of Christ richly dwell within us as Col 3:16 describes, we must not stop at the minimum qualifications, but rather we must seek to grow and the process for growth starts with our training.</span><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335551550&quot;:1,&quot;335551620&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:0,&quot;335559737&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<h2>Why we need to continue growing</h2>
<p><span data-contrast="auto">Coming from the Navy where you did not stand watch or operate equipment without a formal qualification process, I am thankful for the process and the level of effort asked of our counselors to reach the point of being a Certified Biblical Counselor. (For more information on ACBC certification, </span><a href="https://biblicalcounseling.com/training/"><span data-contrast="none">click here</span></a><span data-contrast="auto">.) But even with all that work completed, like the fully qualified Sailors on the ship, we cannot be satisfied that our initial certification will always be enough. </span><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<p><span data-contrast="auto">Unlike the Sailors who need to be trained and retrained as new and upgraded equipment is installed, God’s Word is unchanging, and Biblical Counselors will always begin with a complete foundation of truth in the Scriptures, “</span><i><span data-contrast="auto">seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness.</span></i><span data-contrast="auto">” (2 Pet 1:3a). But we must also acknowledge that as Biblical Counselors, though His Word is complete, our knowledge of it is not.  As such Peter finished his second letter with a command to “</span><i><span data-contrast="auto">grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.</span></i><span data-contrast="auto">” (2 Pet 3:18) Though we may be qualified, we are not done.  There is more to learn.</span><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<p><span data-contrast="auto">Two years ago, when the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC) announced the requirement for Continuing Education Units (CEU) for each of the certified counselors, I stood in support of their initiative and foresight to see the need for continuing training.  Though training is not a guarantee of the elimination of risk or the promise of only positive outcomes, it is a needed step to help us all grow that we might richly dwell in the word of Christ.</span><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<p><span data-contrast="auto">At Faith Biblical Counseling Ministries, this has meant the support of the ACBC initiative and a continued refreshing of the ongoing training tracks provided at the Biblical Counseling Training Conference in February and available in multiple other formats. (</span><a href="https://www.faithlafayette.org/counseling/training"><span data-contrast="none">FBCM Training</span></a><span data-contrast="auto">).  But this is not new to Faith.  Ongoing training has been at the heart of FBCM for over 45 years.</span><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<p><span data-contrast="auto">In addition to formal training, FBCM is committed to the support and training of each of our counselors. Though the counselor may be the only one in the counseling room, we would never want them to feel as if they were alone. This is one of the reasons, FBCM has brought back an old practice as part of Monday Counseling.  We are thankful for all of the counselors who give their time to serve the community through biblical counseling on Monday afternoons and evenings. But even a biblical counselor needs to eat.  So to use the time well, we have begun to meet during the dinner hour for the support and training of our counselors.  Our time provides an opportunity to discuss questions prevalent in biblical counseling, review journal articles from authors outside FBCM to refresh our understanding, and even share case studies to find help in setting a path for counseling the most challenging cases.  The goal of our training is to keep our team unified and standing together on a foundation of the true gospel and prevent any theological drift that could so easily seep in through false teachers who may eloquently present their ideas to draw us away from the sufficiency of the Word. Our goal is to equip wise counselors, seeking the Word in faith without doubting, “</span><i><span data-contrast="auto">for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind</span></i><span data-contrast="auto">.” (James 1:6).</span><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<p><span data-contrast="auto">When training fails, a ship can be tossed by the sea bringing the risk of collision, or worse for a counselor, we may risk the loss of a soul.  If you are certified as a biblical counselor, I want to encourage you to commit the time needed for ongoing training and refreshing in God’s unchanging Word. For our counselors here, I want to encourage you to be a part of our training on every second Monday. If you lead a counseling team, consider how your ministry is meeting this need.  It does not have to look like FBCM, it simply needs to meet the training needs of your counselors. If you are outside Lafayette and especially if you are counseling alone, please reach out to us as we care about your ministry too and want to equip you through opportunities like the BCTC or other training products.</span><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<p><span data-contrast="auto">If we were at sea, I would wish you fair winds and following seas…in the counseling room, my prayer is for your peace and confidence as you seek to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to help and serve others through the ministry of the Word.</span><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<hr />
<p><span data-contrast="auto">Links to Training Resources:</span><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<p><span data-contrast="auto">Faith Biblical Counseling Ministry Training &#8211; </span><a href="https://www.faithlafayette.org/counseling/training"><span data-contrast="none">https://www.faithlafayette.org/counseling/training</span></a><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<p><span data-contrast="auto">Faith Biblical Counseling Ministry Resources &#8211;  </span><a href="https://www.faithlafayette.org/counseling/counseling-resources"><span data-contrast="none">https://www.faithlafayette.org/counseling/counseling-resources</span></a><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<p><span data-contrast="auto">Biblical Counseling in Action Podact &#8211; </span><a href="https://www.faithlafayette.org/conferences/counseling-resources/podcasts"><span data-contrast="none">https://www.faithlafayette.org/conferences/counseling-resources/podcasts</span></a><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<p><span data-contrast="auto">Joyful Journey Podcast &#8211; </span><a href="https://www.faithlafayette.org/conferences/counseling-resources/podcasts"><span data-contrast="none">https://www.faithlafayette.org/conferences/counseling-resources/podcasts</span></a><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<p><span data-contrast="auto">ACBC Training and Resources &#8211; </span><a href="https://biblicalcounseling.com/training/"><span data-contrast="none">https://biblicalcounseling.com/training/</span></a><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span><span data-ccp-props="{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:259}"> </span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2023/11/why-we-are-not-done-and-the-importance-of-ongoing-training/">Why we are not done (and the importance of ongoing training)</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling">Counseling with Confidence and Compassion</a>.</p>
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