The Counter Intuitive

Need I say more?

2011-02-16T20:37:00.000-08:00

Two Days Post Surgery....and that Dr. Fitzgerald turned out to be quite a looker!

ICU are running out of things to do with the letters I C and U.

2011-02-15T09:05:00.000-08:00

Sleep was goooooood. Got to the hospital and found Le Pop up and at em. Eating breakfast and sitting in a chair are the main things we do this morning. They detatched about a gizillion tubes with only a gazillion left to go. Dad seems really glad it's over and I can tell he is just aching to be 100% already. The drugs are still good but he claims full memory of our visit last night. We will test him later. Looks like one more night in ICU before we get a real room...standard procedure so they can get the blood sugar levels at their healing optimum. Don't expect there will be much to report today, but standby to standby.

IC, U think you're funny!

2011-02-14T21:32:00.000-08:00

So we cashed in our chips, poured the chardonnay, and after the herding group showed at westminster, we called to check on the old man. His nurse informed us that he wanted us to know he was awake but there was no need to come and visit. What?!! He was supposed to be asleep until like March! We drop the turkey chili bowls into the sink and brush our teeth and arrive at the hospital shortly thereafter.

Dude, this guy could do stand up (and I ain't joking!) He was in top comedic form and frankly a little bossy. I think the inability to really smile made his delivery even more dry and hilarious. It was such a joy to see him back in business at least somewhat...I don't know if he'll remember our visit through the drug haze, but I think we are all going to sleep well tonight.

I told him I was blogging and he said he couldn't wait to read it and he said I should add his perspective. He said the last series of things he remembered was being wheeled down a series of corridors he recognized, then a series he didn't know and then into a brightly lit surgical theater with about 8 or 9 people working indutriously. He was given an IV drip and the next thing he knew it was 8:47 pm.

Pretty good drugs, I'd say.

As we were leaving, he did press upon us that he was going to remember more than we thought he could. Maybe all that ribbing earlier? Threat? Promise? Stay tuned!

(I will) CU later Mr. Ventilator!

2011-02-14T17:21:00.000-08:00

We made asses of ourselves yelling, "Dad! Open your eyes!Squeeze my hand!" until he finally woke up enough for us to make a graceful exit (we ran like hell)and they removed the massive tube down his throat and several mustache hairs. Upon our return, he tried to smile and could shake his head at our antics. He especially liked it when we made fun of him...a true McKiernan. He is being resedated and deserves a pretty effing awesome vitamin M nap!! We live you Pop!

ICU looking at me!

2011-02-14T14:58:00.000-08:00

Phew!

We heard that it would be shocking to see him after such invasive surgery, but I swear he looked good. Our ICU nurse, Melissa said all his machines and numbers and thingys and bobbers were reading strong and positive and that with a little luck o'the Irish we might get that horrid tube/ventilater out tonight before she goes home at 7pm. I learned that he won't remember pretty near anything until sometime tomorrow. So he will wake up soon...and they will let him do that naturally, then check to make sure he has a couple of his faculties, like movement, then sedate him again so he can heal and gradually regain consciousness in a gentle way. He should be awake and pretty incoherant but awake tomorrow morning.

So mom and I came home to feed a sweet Sheepdog and shake out the day a bit, Moll is on DadWatch 2011. We will return shortly for a peek. Then home again during shift change (6:30-8:30) and maybe one quick look again after dinner. Since he is going to be out (to lunch, of the building,) tonight we will all try to get some good rest and return in the AM. Tomorrow he will be not all there (two sandwiches short of a picnic, lights on nobody home) but will at least know we are present. Then the next step is getting him well enough to get out of the ICU so I can control the TV at long last.

Thank you all for the love and support, and to answer that burning question: the sandwich was great. I had it toasted.

He's Out!

2011-02-14T13:35:00.000-08:00

Everything went perfect and we will see him in 20 minutes. He now is in the ICU for approximately 24 hours. We are so excited that it went so fast and well and hope it speaks to a speedy recovery.

Of course the much anticipated trip to subway meant Moll and I missed meeting the surgeon. As I rounded the corner to return to the waiting room I saw him walking away and I'm afraid I can't give more of a description than short and in scrubs.

Noon Update

2011-02-14T11:34:00.000-08:00

A couple of former co-workers stopped in to say hi to us in the waiting room. We are so the lifers in this prison. Everyone has come and gone except us. The Ladies McKiernan are eagerly anticipating a Subway sandwich from the lower level in an hour or so.

How would it be to be the surgical waiting room volunteer? Who are these women? They man the phones and keep people informed about recovery rooms. Lord how boring, stressful, and thankless.

Also the endless TLC channel about birthing babies is about to send me into my own cardiac arrest.

No news is good news.

Mmmm Breakfast

2011-02-14T09:17:00.000-08:00

Nothing better than cafeteria food. But you can't mess up bacon. Hot Nurse Travis just called and let us know they have started and everything is going well. Mollie went to run with Oliver and may or may not come back since she can't find her way around this hospital with a map. Speaking of lack of talent, I will now try to knit something that doesn't look like a pile of knots.

There are a lot of people to make fun of in this waiting room but I would come off as a city snob and completely insensitive. You can't make fun of physical problems in a hospital. I guess the glory of my jury duty blog cannot be repeated.

The List of Folks That Better Bring Their A Game

2011-02-14T07:31:00.000-08:00

Dr. Jason Fitzgerald Cardiac Surgeon
Dr. Probert (no first name given) Anesthesiologist
Travis - Hot Surgical Nurse (hellllooo nurse!)

Connie the prep nurse already made us feel confident and the tech that shaved Pop was in his employee orientation class in 1998 when he started working here. So we are among friends.

Dad was already on The Vitamin M and oxygen when we got to say "see you later" so he was feeling a-ok. Here goes.

I would like to state for the record I am the most awkward hugger ever.

Also I really regret not getting a before pic with that awesome silver cap.

Happy Montana Heart Day

2011-02-14T06:29:00.000-08:00

So when I heard my Dad's quadruple bypass plus aortic valve replacement was to occur on Valentine's day I thought it was kind of an obvious joke. But today I am doing my best to see all those stupid decorations as a sign that everything is going to be all right. I haven't heard any horror stories and my mind is perfectly confident that it will all go as planned. My stomach says otherwise. Dad seems in good spirits, just anxious to get this whole ordeal over with. So we got up early this morning after sleeping not so great and got going. We got here at 6:45 and I realized this process was not just a drop off but a series of steps to eventual send off. There is check in, then a 5 minute wait until they take him back to get undressed. Mom and him are back there now and Moll and I will join them when he's prepped. I have no idea what that involves. So Thithy and I are waiting. And we both have nervous tummies and wAnt to go to the bathroom but think if we go they will call us. The sunrise was gorgeous. This waiting room has the weirdest vibe. All of these Montanans who haven't slept well and are trying not worry. And everyone seems way sicker than Pop.

Ask The CI: Grownup Zits (It's Friday so I'm doing it budget beauty style.)

2010-05-14T08:00:00.001-07:00

Oh MEG! For your birthday I am writing about your zits! Happy Birthday Week!

One of my big stupid harp on it themes is moisturizer. And when you are having breakout you probably use less, which makes your skin produce more oil, which then gets caught on the uneven surface and makes more zits. Awesomeness. SO!

1. Keep it clean. Wash morning and night. Put some face wipes next to the bed so you do it. I like Ponds Orginal Clean Wet Cleansing Towelettes or Ponds Clean Sweep, Micro Dermabrasion Wet Cleansing Towelettes (for adult acne these are genius.)

2. Exfoliate. Like twice a week with a grainy scrub, or mask, or hell, use the Ponds Clean Sweep, Micro Dermabrasion Wet Cleansing Towelettes that I mentioned above every night. Or: Neutrogena Acne Stress Control, Power-Clear Scrub.

3. MOISTURIZE! Day and night. Without fail. Skin loves habit....if you are consistent with treatment, your skin will be consistent.Aveeno Active Naturals Ultra-Calming Daily Moisturizer SPF-15 is a great one because it has calming in the name and a little spf.

4. Spot Treat. Put something on those bad boys the minute you feel the itch of a new zit. You could try Neutrogena Rapid Clear Acne Eliminating Spot Gel or any clay mask. But for the clay mask just put it on the zits....NOT ALL OVER. It will dry you out like crazy. I use an Olay Clay Mask that I have had so long it doesn't exist anywhere on the web. It's blue and in a tube and I'm pissed if it's discontinued. Oh, well. Just make sure it has the words "clay" and "acne" on the tube.

Ask The CI: Lip Flaker!

2010-05-13T07:17:00.000-07:00

I have taken this question on before, but honestly if I had a good answer my lips wouldn't be peeling as I type this.

So instead, I'll mention how awesome it is that the asker of this question became a mom on April 29th! Yay! Mary did her best to make it dramatic, but mommy and new Vivienne are home and happy and being awesome.

Sorry to divert the blog with cuteness. It will happen from time to time.

Oh and Mary's other question: Why don't I do a whole week of budget beauty? Because I honestly don't use that much drugstore stuff and so I can only invest once a week in new things from Stabby Target. I don't want to talk about stuff I haven't touched, sniffed, eaten, etc.

Ask The CI: Why is your face so red? Why are you so embarassed?

2010-05-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

My sister and my aunt are the askers on this one, and as someone who has tried to make their skin not red I am at a bit of an impasse. I have tried and failed with you hookers before, but I have found some new shit that also should be tried.

Eucerin Redness Relief Daily Perfecting Lotion

Eucerin Redness Relief Soothing Night Creme

My friend Violet says Clinique Instant Relief Mineral Powder is awesome! And it's Mineral. Look at me recommending a mineral powder!

Use it after Clinique Redness Solutions Daily Relief Cream or for Mollie who has wicked out-in-the-sun-all-the-time issues Clinique Redness Solution Daily Protective Base SPF 15.

The other thing I should probably mention is The Dermatologist. Roseacea is a tough nut to crack, but there are really nice prescription products like Metro Gel that people swear by!

Ask The CI: Mineral Makeup: Bullshit or Awesome?

2010-05-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

Ugh. First off, I hate mineral makeup. I think it is mostly hype and scare tactics and generally looks like crap on the skin. Unless it's fake mineral makeup, then it looks somewhat better but you might be losing all that "natural" goodness. Basically mineral makeup takes out the talc, the parabens, the perfumes, and some of the binders or colors that can irritate the skin. Good for you, mineral makeup. Usually this comes in a loose powder form, applied with a brush (better wash that brush everyday...there are way more scary things that can grow in a dirty brush than talc.) which makes skin look dry and ashy. If it has a crushed pearl finish and looks ok, that is one of the ones that is a fake (that pearl finish is man-made). The real stuff that is good for you sucks. And PS there are some people like me that are sensitive to titanium dioxide and zinc oxide (the basis of a lot of these guys) so who the hell cares if they are anti-inflammatory. And they reflect the shit out of a camera flash so I hope you want to look like a ghost!

I found this article that is a little bit more polite and informative.

DUDE! Talc has been around since before Jesus! Get the eff over it! Ok. I promise to calm down.

Stuff that looks good and has some of the qualities of true mineral makeup:
Laura Mercier Mineral Finishing Powder

All the Mercier mineral stuff is the best I've come across....they have shadow and blush and some pretty sparkle powder too. The Neutrogena Mineral Sheers Loose Powder Foundation ain't too shabby either.

Maybe I am just a defensive bitch, but every product I put into the cosmetics database freak out site came out with a hazard quotient of like 6 out of 10. Pretty impressive. Some of it was mineral stuff too. Now, I do have to admit Jane Iredale stuff came up between 1 and 3 on the OMFG-I'm-gonna-die scale. So if you are concerned, ignore me and visit Jane. She will make you feel better.

Big Ups to Pat for the question. Sorry Pat, you got me on a rant! Put a quarter in me and I'll just go on and on.

Questions for The CI: Exfoliation

2010-05-10T11:02:00.000-07:00

Thanks, Mom for bringing up this topic. Everyone should exfoliate once a week to make sure that your skincare doesn't have to seep through leather to get to the place it needs to be to work. I never do it. But my thin pale skin rarely needs it. When I do it I use Cle de Peau Translucency Mask which you put on, let dry and peel off. Results: Baby Ass

Clarins does a great job with simple exfoliation. They have Clarins One Step Gentle Exfoliating Cleanser (everyday use for a normal skin type) and Clarins Gentle Exfoliating Refiner (once a week grainy scrub) and Clarins Gentle Facial Peeling (another peel away mask, once a week, all skin types.)

Now, I do advocate massive amounts of body exfoliation. It helps with shaving and if you use Jo Malone Vitamin E Body Scrub or Fresh Brown Sugar Body Polish you won't even have to use lotion.

Other Weird Shit You Might Use Instead Of Toner

2010-04-21T19:16:00.000-07:00

There are all these thingys that are supposed to make magic, so put down your cotton pads, pour a nickel sized puddle of one these guys in the palm of your hand and splash it all over your face.

La Mer The Radiant Infusion
Boosts the micro-circulation, creating radiance. Or on me, redness. Boosts effectiveness of everything you put on top of it and give a healthy glow!

La Mer The Hydrating Infusion
Adds water to the deeper layers of the skin and helps your serums and moisturizers get delivered to those deeper areas. Yeah, sure, but I love the texture and would drink it if I could.

Dior Capture Totale One Essential
A detoxifyer that clears out your skin over time so that all the other shit you put on it works better. Somehow the way they phrase this makes me love it. It also is creamy like a serum not a toner.

SK II Facial Treatment Essence
Pitera (what is in this bottle with some water) will make you look like Linda Evangelista in the Freedom '90 video. It lightly exfoliates, is based on the ingredients in sake and did nothing to my skin. But I know people who swear that Jesus himself made this crap so you make the call.

Dry out your grease before adding more!

2010-04-20T22:54:00.000-07:00

Oily skin needs extra attention in the squeeky clean department, but you don't want to dry it out toooooo much, otherwise your skin will overcompensate and MAKE MORE OIL! So here are my ideas about what works but remember I have dry skin, so please leave a comment and tell me how effed up I am. I have arranged these from gentlest to kick-assy-ist.....be careful. Proactive works, but on young skin! So don't even think it, Gramma.

Also I have noticed some really good prices on my Amazon links for this stuff (the blue words) so do some shopping, will ya? I have cats to feed here.

Shiseido Pureness Balancing Softener

Clarins Toning Lotion Alcohol Free with Iris for Oily to Combination Skin,

Clinique Clarifying Lotion 2

Sea Breeze Astringent Original Formula

Proactiv Solution Revitalizing Toner
I have no picture because you have to join the cult to get a good photo.....so here's a shitty pic:

That stuff you before serum and moisturizer but after cleanser....

2010-04-19T09:22:00.000-07:00

Toner gets your skin ready for moisture and treatments. Like a sponge, your skin accepts moisture better when it's full of water. Toner also gets rid of any remnants of cleanser and any nasty things in the water you used to rinse with...like chlorine and minerals. ALSO, if you have dry skin, like me, it is one more opportunity to add moisture. I love toners that have a gel texture. These are my faves:
Shiseido Eudermine Revitalizing Essence

Laura Mercier Perfecting Water Rich

Erno Laszlo HydrapHel Skin Supplement

Clarins Extra Comfort Toning Lotion

Budget Beauty for Broke Bitches (like me.)

2010-04-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

The key to cheapo mascara: use a lot. Also, leave it open for one day so it gets a little thicker. But just ONE day. Not like never close ever again. (<---get a load of that sentence! DANG! badder English can't be founded!) These guys all will do the job if you take the time to layer it on. And not so it makes one huge ugly clump of black, carefully like you are painting a great work of art.

Maybelline Great Lash Mascara, Curved Brush, Very Black

L'Oreal Telescopic Explosion Mascara

Max Factor Volume Couture Mascara

L'Oreal Extra Volume Collagen Washable Mascara Collection

"Geez I wish she'd stop talking about that extra step that I will never do!"

2010-04-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

If you want to be that way, assholes, fine. Be that way. I have no comeback to those not willing to put in the effort. Makeup isn't brain surgery, but...well, yeah. So who cares.

Me. I do. I want perfect lashes. And you do, too. Suck it up and do the extra step. Your brain surgeon will do a better job on you if you're pretty. Everyone knows that. Thank me later.

Estee Lauder Lash Primer Plus

LANCOME OSCILLATION POWERBOOSTER LUSH PRIMER

Shiseido The Makeup MASCARA BASE

Armani Soft Lash primer

Smashbox Layer Lash Primer

And if you want more and longer lashes, NeuLash Eyelash Enhancement Serum really works. There are others out there, but I have seen the results with this one. Watch out for irritation and if you stop using it your lashes will return to normal. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Sensitive little flowers and tiny lashed ladies....

2010-04-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

My mom has three eyelashes. Seriously. You can't eff around with ladies who have a hard time with mascara. The best stuff will clump and mess on these girls. These two won't. Great also for people who are allergic or sensitive. Don't worry Mom, your secret is safe with me and my 17 readers.
Bobbi Brown Everything Mascara

Clinique Naturally Glossy Mascara

Insert (heehee) hilarious vibrator joke here.

2010-04-13T09:00:00.000-07:00

So what is up with this whole thing about vibrating mascara? I dunno. But it is a cool idea. I know. I know. It's a gimmick. But a COOL one. All of these claim about 7000 movements per second, wrapping each tiny little lash in a sheath of awesome. I can't tell you which is best...I like all three of these. The clump factor is low and they really do the length thing and the volume thing. And your boyfriend will think you flipped out.

Fine. If you take a tiny brush or a flat liner brush and paint your mascara on like Georgia O'Keefe you will get better lashes. But barring having the patience of a saint this does give attention to each little effing hair.

What do you think? Have you fallen for this bullshit like I have? Let me know your thoughts.
Lancome Oscillation Vibrating Infinite Power Mascara

Estee Lauder Turbolash All Effects Motion Mascara

Maybelline New York Pulse Perfection Vibrating Mascara

Even really shitty technique with shadow can be improved by massive amounts of mascara!

2010-04-12T22:26:00.000-07:00

Ok. I have a obsession with mascara. But I also have a secret belief that they are all the same. But that's not true, because I hate a bunch of them. So it all comes back to me being a bossy fickle bitch again.

Mascara has what seems like endless possibilities but it boils down to two questions:
Do you want more lashes or longer lashes?
and
Do you require waterproof shit that will not come off without a jack hammer and vaseline or just regular wash it off stuff?

My answers are almost always VOLUME aka more lashes and NOT WATERPROOF...unless it's a wedding or a funeral. Shit that says it curls your lashes is going to encourage curl but just suck it up and buy a curler. I like Nars Eyelash Curler or Shiseido Eyelash Curler. Then put one of these beauties on and call it a day.

YSL Volume Effet Faux Cils : realllly pretty because it looks like patent leather even when dry. The tube runs out of juice very fast but it's worth it If you have $30 to spend every three weeks.

Armani Eyes To Kill Mascara : the best shit out there. This formula lifts and separates like an extremely expensive bra.

Cle de Peau Volume Mascara : kinda messy, but worth the clean up on aisle 5. Triples the size of an individual lash. I have no proof of that. But that's what it looks like to me.

Lancome Hypnose Mascara
is just good basic mascara. Nice and soft and not clumpy or shed-y.

Lancome Paris Definicils High Definition Mascara : I included two lancome mascaras without even meaning to. They make great mascara. It just works. They sell a bunch of it, too.

Chanel Inimitable Waterproof Multi Dimensional Mascara : this has one of those plastic tooth brushes that really apply color to each and every lash. Super popular with my artist buddies.

Christian Dior Diorshow Blackout Mascara : This is one of the ones that I kinda hate. Diorshow Mascara has that big teddy-bear brush that gets mascara all over my face rather than my lashes, but that could be because I am a klutz. It's kinda gloppy, too. But Blackout is VERY black, and I adore really dark shit.

Estee Lauder Magnascopic Maximum Volume Mascara is suprisingly good. I keep ending up using this because it lasts forever and the brush stays in shape even if you use the tube everyday for a year. But don't do that. Bacteria loves mascara, that's why Oprah will tell you to replace it every three months.

Budget Beauty: How many of these have gone throught he washer and dryer?

2010-04-09T08:12:00.000-07:00

Cherry ChapStick is awesome. If somewhat ruined by that song. But then these guys fixed it:

Burt's Bees Pomegranate Lip Balm .....because my mom and sister swear by this stuff. Hippies.

Why do I think Rosebud Salve Minted Rose Lip Balm is sexy? I have no idea.

And then there's Bonne Bell Lip Smacker Flavored Lip Gloss.

Lip Balm Montage: I wish I knew how to make a slideshow and synch it to Michael MacDonald's "What a Fool Believes"

2010-04-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

....I am a fool because I STILL have chapped lips even though I love each and every one of these lip bitches.

Laura Mercier Lip Balm SPF 15

Cle De Peau Lip Treatment

La Mer Lip Balm

Jo Malone Vitamin E Lip Balm

Clark's Botanicals Ultra Rich Lip Balm

Clinique All About Lips