Gypsy Farmgirl

The Real Price of Paradise - What a Winter in Hawaii Really Cost

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 19:54:00 +0000

Some of you might be wondering just how how much spare change it took to fund our winter escape. Did we rob our 401(k)'s? Spend our inheritances? Mortgage the farm?

Nope.

Below is a breakdown of our actual expenses from the eleven weeks we spent on the islands, broken down between "necessary" and "optional," and a comparison to the expenses we had before leaving the mainland.

Necessary Expenses:

Flights: $1606

This price included two one-way flights to KOA from BIL ($398 each), two one-way flights from KOA to HNL ($86 each), and two one-way flights from HNL to BIL ($319 each).

We might have been able to save some money on the flights if we had purchased round-trip tickets in advance. But we weren't sure when our daughter would be able to come out and visit us, so the one-way tickets gave us more flexibility. As it turned out, it was far too expensive to fly her out to the Big Island anyway, so we flew over to Honolulu when she arrived.

Storage: $807

Three months rent on three storage units in Minnesota.

Food: $1540

$140/week, or about $10/day/person

We could have gotten through our time on the farm with little to no food budget. The farm provided some staples (bread, rice, beans, pasta) and whatever was ripe and they had extras of (mostly avocados, papayas and bananas).

Sometimes we'd also get some sweet potatoes or eggplant to toss into a stir-fry. But basically they expected interns to supplement their staples with grocery items of their own choosing. We would always purchase eggs, cheese, and whenever we could, grass-fed meat to supplement our pantry items. We also purchased gluten-free wraps for Papa Bear as he has a gluten sensitivity and doesn't eat bread.

We did give up drinking coffee, as the good, local Kona coffee sells for $25/pound and up.

We did routinely eat out Friday evenings at one of the local spots within easy walking distance of the farm. This averaged around $20 total for the 2 of us, and was part of the $150/week allocated for food.

There were a few times our food budget went over, for some special occasions like birthday celebrations. When this happened we took some money out of our vacation savings to cover the expense.

Critter Care: $500

Boarding and hay expenses for 6 alpacas, 12 chickens and 3 house cats for 3 months.

Health insurance: $890

Since I was still working we had no expense for my health insurance but with Papa Bear on leave of absence we had to pick up a copay for his insurance.

Taxi & Bus Services: $100

$30 from the airport to Kmart bus stop - we could have avoided this expense if we had been given better instructions (the bus runs from the Kona airport Sunday evenings).

All of our other expenses remained similar to what we normally spend on the mainland (cell phone, internet, car insurance, etc.)

TOTAL: $5443, about $500/week, or $36/day/person (including airfare!)

A single person without boarding, storage and health insurance costs who was willing to eat only what the farm provided and let's say $20/week for groceries/extras could have spent two months on the Big Island for as low as $1000 including round-trip air.

Compare to Minnesota Expenses: (for an 11-week period):

Rent: $1250/mo = $3173 (mo x 12 / 52 * 11)

Utilities: $250/mo = $634 (mo x 12 / 52 * 11)

Gas/Groceries/Misc.: $320/wk = $3520

TOTAL: $7327 or about $660/wk or $47/day/person

Optional expenses:

Please note - our "optional" expenses were paid for out of our "travel/vacation" budget, which we created by setting aside money every month (normally about $200/month). We've had this account for over 10 years and doing this has allowed us to take a fairly big trip every 3-5 years.

First weekend on the island, before we went to the farm:
VRBO Holualoa: $245
Car rental 3 days: $91

Weekend in Volcano Village, Big Island:
Volcano Village Hostel: $115 ($25/night x 2 dorm beds x 1 night + $65/night private room 1 night)
Car rental 3 days: $145 (price increased over holidays)

Week with a car while friends were visiting Kona:
Car rental 7 days: $214
Luau: $60 x 2 = $120
Manta Ray Night Diving: $90 x 2 = $180 (+ optional video $40)
Surfing lessons $80 x 2 people = $160

Five vacation days on the Big Island post-farm stay:
Car rental 8 days: $317
Hilo B&B: $290 (3 nights)
Waipio hostel: $100 (2 nights)

Six vacation days on Oahu with our daughter:
Car rental 6 days: $214
Waikiki Hotel: $180 (3 nights) (I traded in Priority Club points to reduce the $200/night fee to $60/night)
Waikiki Hotel Parking: $75 ($5/night discount with Priority Club status)
Diamond Head Parasail: $120 (for 3 people)
VRBO North Shore: $435 ($120/night + cleaning fee)
Glider Plane: $230 (for 2 people)

TOTAL: $3171 for 2-3 people (2 on Big Island, 3 on Oahu).

I hope this breakdown gives you some ideas about what you, too, can do with a little forward planning and a big dream, without breaking the bank!

Aloha -

A Hui Hou - Our Last Day in Hawaii

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 03:49:00 +0000

It's hard to believe, but after 2 1/2 months of living in Hawaii we have officially left the islands.

{Waaaaaahhhhhh!!!!}

Our last day found us with many hours to kill between dropping our daughter off at 6:45am and 10:00pm when our flight was scheduled to leave, so we decided to finish our circle tour of Oahu and drive up the leeward coast to the end of the road (where the pavement turns into 4WD tracks, a little out of league for our rented Ford Focus).

It was early morning and it was lovely. Lovely! I wish we had done this earlier instead of visiting the beaches in Waikiki, tourist-strewn and crowded. The beaches at the end of the leeward coast were empty and vast and gorgeous.

Heading back towards Honolulu, we cut across central Oahu back towards the North Coast and followed Hwy 930 to the end of the pavement from the North Shore side of the island (where, no surprise, it turns into a 4WD track - the same one we left on the leeward side).

Once again, just as on the leeward coast, the shoreline near the highway was graced by one gorgeous beach after another. We stopped at Ka'ena Beach near Dillingham Airfield for a picnic lunch and our last sunshine and beach time.

During our picnic we were entertained by small planes towing gliders up into the air currents above Ka'ena Point, the most western tip of the island. We laid on our backs to watch them fly over us one after another, the gliders silent all but for the whistle of wind across their skins.

At long last we decided to head back towards Haleiwa, a small town near the home where we had been staying on the North shore. We hadn't spent any time exploring the little town as we had spent all of our time on the beaches.

Heading back down the highway, we happened to glance sideways while passing the airfield and noticed a sign on a small building on the airfield advertising "Glider Rides." It didn't take much convincing to turn the car around and go back to check it out.

A quick scan of the rates and time slots and we were soon booked for a 20mn flight. All we had to do now was wait for our glider pilot to land.

In what seemed like mere minutes, we were walking across the tarmac, helping our pilot pivot the blue and white glider aptly named 'Sky Surfer' into position and climbing in, Papa Bear first and me nearly on top of him.

{I didn't believe it when the pilot picked up the tow rope to hook it to our plane... it looked smaller than a water ski rope!}

Before we could even ask about the tiny tow rope, the tow plane was taxiing down the runway and we lifted off almost immediately. For about five minutes we watched as the tow plane carried us skyward, the coastline growing longer and the view growing wider. Then our pilot disconnected us from the tow rope and with a small dip that made me yelp, we were soaring.

It is difficult to describe what it feels like to be airborne with nothing but a shell and 57' of wings holding you aloft while the western half of Oahu glides far below you, the surf-tossed shoreline stretching for miles, humpback whales jumping gleefully as you pass overhead.

Green mountains, turquoise water and white surf all vied for our attention as each turn of the glider gave us a new view of the land and sea.

The 20 minutes passed quickly and soon we were spiralling back towards the airfield, breathless and gleeful ourselves.

Another item crossed off of our Bucket Lists!

It's hard to say exactly what the biggest highlight of our time in Hawaii was... Manta Ray Night Diving? Swimming with dolphins? Parasailing?

But I do know this - I didn't expect our last day on the island, with no real plan or purpose, to be so utterly perfect and give us one more amazing memory to take back home with us.

Which goes to show, the best days are always surprises.

A Hui Hou - Until We Meet Again!

Oahu Circle Tour - Diamond Head and North Shore

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 23:58:00 +0000

In the interest of full disclosure, Papa Bear and C-baby and I are back on the mainland. But there were a few more really cool things we did or saw on Oahu that I wanted to share with you all. So I hope you will forgive the tardiness of this post.

{Truth be told, all my posts from Hawaii were posted at least a week after the fact!}

After our three days in the Waikiki area, we headed for the fabled North Shore by way of the eastern coastline.

Our first stop at Diamond Head State Monument was an obvious draw, being one of the most famous landmarks on Oahu, and having admired it from the water during our parasailing outing.

Finding the park is easy - follow Hwy 92 out from Waikiki until it ends on Kalakaua Ave., at which point you turn right which turns into Diamond Head Road, taking you around the outside of the crater and along the coastline and eventually around to the entrance of the park.

Parking inside the park will cost you $5.00/vehicle and parking fills up early - we opted to park inside and they allowed us to wait until a spot opened up, which did pretty quickly. Otherwise you'd have to walk a considerable way up the park road.

The hike to the cone's summit from the crater floor is .8mile/1.3km with an ascent of 560'/170m from the crater floor. I would have considered this strenuous prior to our two months picking jungle coffee and mac nuts on the Big Island - as it turned out, it was actually quite a nice little hike up.

The trail to the summit of Le'ahi (Diamond Head) was built in 1908 as a part of the coastal defense system. At the summit you'll find bunkers and a navigational lighthouse. Oh, and an astounding view encompassing the city of Honolulu and the shoreline from Koko Head to Wai'anea.

A must see if I do say so myself.

The rest of the drive to the north shore was cloudy with spits of rain from time to time, some of the only rain we had seen during our time in Hawaii. It suited the long car ride well, the mists giving the mountains the look of a Japanese painting, and gave us good reason to stay in our VRBO that evening and watch movies, something that had been nearly impossible to do during our stay in Honaunau.

Rested up after our relaxing evening, we were ready to hit the beach again. Even pasty-white-Midwesterners like ourselves have heard or seen glimpses of the famous beaches of Oahu's North Shore, and we were eager to spend as much time on them as we could over the next few days.

Although not swimming beaches per se (most of these famous beaches have very dangerous rip tides), we were not disappointed. Watching scads of eager body surfers, stand up paddle boarders and regular surfers navigate 12'-15' waves - sometimes successfully and sometimes gloriously unsuccessful - was more exciting than any sport I've ever watched on TV.

Those little black dots are not ants, they're surfers.

There wasn't much to do over the next few days but soak up the sun and watch the wild surfing, eat from roadside stands and feed the wild chickens.

Tough life, I know.

Aloha ~

Oahu Circle Tour - Pearl Harbor

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 01:14:00 +0000

Our second day in Honolulu we unanimously decided to visit Pearl Harbor.

This might seem like a no-brainer, but just as a back story let me tell you that nobody in my entire family except a couple of nephews and a cousin have ever served in the military. Not because my ancestors actively tried to avoid it, but rather, they were in lines of service that were exempt from military duty - mostly farmers and teachers.

So although I thought I would enjoy the memorial from a historical perspective, I didn't really think it would reach me emotionally. After all, I didn't know anybody who had served in WWII or any war thereafter.

I was so, so wrong.

I was fine through the short film you watch before you can get on the ferry.

I was fine on the ferry ride over to the USS Arizona memorial.

I was fine walking around the memorial, looking at the remains of the sunken ship barely below the surface, having difficulty imagining the harbor under Japanese attack - the chaos and smoke and fire, over a thousand men trapped for all eternity below the Arizona's decks.

And then we walked into the shrine room. It wasn't all of the names on the marble wall, although that was certainly beautifully touching.

It was when I noticed the older gentleman in front of me. He wore a summery shirt like many of the other tourists enjoying a popular tourist attraction on a mild Hawaiian winter's day. But there was a ball cap on his head embroidered with "USS Submarine Service Veteran." And then I thought I saw him shake slightly. Silently. Then dab his eyes with a cloth handkerchief.

That was enough for me. My eyes filled and my throat choked. This memorial meant something powerful to this man. I will never know his name or even what his story was - or even if he had been in the harbor that day or perhaps involved in the battles afterwards.

But it wasn't so hard to picture anymore - the harbor under fire, men trying desperately to protect their ships, to pull their comrades out of the burning, oil-slicked water.

Thousands died that day, with over a thousand entombed forever in the watery grave of the Arizona.

It would have been difficult to imagine at all, were it not for the silent tears of a veteran.

Aloha -

Oahu Circle Tour - Waikiki Beach and Parasailing

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 00:13:00 +0000

Our time in Hawaii is quickly drawing to a close. After two months working on the Big Island, Papa Bear and I completed a 6-day circle tour of the Big Island and then hopped over to Oahu to meet up with our daughter for six more days of bliss before we all return to the Midwest.

To celebrate being together again as a family we unanimously decided to cross one more thing off our respective Bucket Lists - parasailing!

After a quick Google of the available parasailing outfits we went with X-treme Parasail which offered a free trolley pickup near the hotel, to and from the waterfront.

It didn't take long to load the boat and head out of the harbor to the area we'd be sailing. The wind was picking up and the waves were getting choppy, but the captain was confident we'd have a good ride. I was just hoping Papa Bear wouldn't get seasick as he had several times during our water-based activities on the islands.

Life jackets were handed out and a crew member helped us into our harnesses. C-baby and I were first up and we inched ourselves backwards across the back deck of the boat wondering just exactly what the process would be for takeoff.

We didn't have long to wonder - we were airborne before we knew it. 700' above the ocean and gazing out over Honolulu is a sight we won't soon forget.

At one point C-baby pointed to a shadow on the ocean surface and asked what I thought it was. "Our parasail shadow," came my benign explanation. "Oh. I was hoping it was a whale. Or shark or something exciting."

Umm... no sharks, thanks.

As part of the deal towards the end of our flight the captain slowed the boat enough that the parasail dropped slowly to the ocean and he dipped us quickly into the waves before gunning the boat and lifting us up again.

{Another good reason we don't want to see sharks below us, me thinks.}

The water was cold and exhilarating, our wet legs sprouting goosebumps on our wind-whipped legs. All too soon, the ride was over.

Our daughter went up again with Papa Bear and had another great sail. On their way back down they got a full body dip. Off in the distance I saw a whale jump out of the water.

The rest of the time we got to enjoy watching one pair of tourists after another going up, up, up and away, Papa Bear doing his best to squelch his queasiness and me fighting a touch of my own. We were both successful, our first activity on water that didn't end up with him hanging over the side rails.

Both of us were happy to get back onto solid land again and fill our crops with the food that always magically aids my queasy stomach - popcorn. Don't ask me why, but it works. Every time.

After all of that excitement it was a no-brainer to lie around on Waikiki Beach for the rest of the afternoon. The sun was shining, the waves mellow, the water warm, and the beach was packed, especially compared to the Big Island beaches we had enjoyed for two months.

But enjoyable nonetheless, as only a Hawaiian beach can be to non-islander escaping from a Midwest winter.

If you enjoyed this post you may also enjoy our Big Island Circle Tour posts found here:
Green Sands Beach
Scenic Hilo
Waipio Valley

Aloha!

How Not to Pick Up Girls - Lessons from a Peacock

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 03:59:00 +0000

It struck me yesterday while watching a peacock trying to entice a peahen that peacock mating rituals resemble bad human dating rituals.

Below is my attempt at translating the encounter.

Cast of characters:
M = Male
DF = Dominant Female
NDF = Nondominant Female

M: "Hey baby, you're looking mighty fine today. How do you like my fancy feathers?? I preened just for you."

DF: preening, ignoring him completely

M: "I've been going to the gym a lot, too. You can tell by my awesome behind."

DF: yawn

M: "How do you like my new dance moves??"

DF: walks away

[NDF attempts to intercede and acquire male's attention]

DF: "GET AWAY FROM MY MAN!!!"

[NDF retreats]

M: "Lookame Lookame Lookame!"

DF: "Walk away Martha."

DF & NDF: walk away

M: "Call me?"

Big Island Circle Tour - Waipio Valley

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 04:36:00 +0000

I didn't think our last few days in Hawaii could just keep getting better and better. But they have.

I guess it would be hard to have a bad time spending a winter in Hawaii, despite the many challenges that occurred by uprooting our herds & flocks and moving everything we own into storage {except the critters of course} for three months.

After two months of manual labor on an organic coffee farm, we've been enjoying twelve days of sightseeing before we head back to the Midwest and resuming our hunt for a farm of our own.

Last week we visited Green Sands Beach which quickly became our favorite beach of the Big Island so far. We also enjoyed a scenic tour around Hilo and a few of the gorgeous waterfalls the area boasts.

To top off our tour of the Big Island circle tour we hiked into Waipio Valley followed the very next day by a hike into her sister valley Pololu. Every new beach became a new favorite. Every new hike a test of our farm-honed muscles, strength and endurance.

The Waipio and Pololu valleys are like twin sisters, alike but with their own distinct differences. Their main trails access the valleys from two different directions - Waipio from the SE (via Hwy 240) and Pololu from the NW (via Hwy 270). Waipio boasts a 1000' descent over a mere mile of paved 4WD road {ouch on the knees - I had to walk sideways and backwards down most of it} which took us 50mn to hike. Pololu's 15mn hike to the black sand beach is also steep and rugged but a walk in the park in comparison.

Both valleys offer breathtaking views from the lookout area preceeding the climb down. Both valleys showcase pristine green valley cliffsides and beautiful black sand beaches. The beaches are large enough that even when there are many visitors, you will be able to carve out some privacy somewhere along the beach. There are many surf breaks of various sizes for adventurous boarding and surfing souls.

We did not have time to hike over to the waterfalls in Waipio Valley, something we certainly plan to do upon our next visit. We did enjoy walking among the ironwood trees lining both beaches, scenery that reminded me of the pine forests in the BWCAW, one of my old Minnesota stomping grounds {therefore, near and dear to my heart}.

We loved both beaches, and it would be difficult to pick a favorite, but Papa Bear is leaning towards Waipio, especially when we come back next time and explore the valley further and locate those waterfalls I've been hearing about!

Happy Trails -

If you enjoyed this post you may also enjoy our Big Island Circle Tour Part I and Part II. Thanks for reading!

Big Island Circle Tour - Scenic Hilo

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 21:47:00 +0000

Driving around the Big Island of Hawaii it is difficult not to find something beautiful to stop and stare at, or a new beach to visit and a cool wave to dip your toes into.

Our drive around the Hilo area was no exception. It started out with a drive along the Hamakua 4-mile scenic drive, just north of Hilo on Hwy 19. Look for the "4 mile scenic route" sign on the makai (ocean side) of the road which marks the beginning of this beautiful stretch of Old Mamalahoa Hwy.

Along this drive we stopped frequently to enjoy the 1-lane stone bridges, all of which were labeled "12 Ton Bridge," and pondered exactly which bridge was the infamous "12 Ton Bridge" folks jump off of, as none of them seemed to be boasting much water, despite the fact that Hilo is on the rainy side of the island.

Eventually we found it, the last bridge on the route, which did indeed have a large, deep pool below. We opted out of bridge-jumping however, citing a fear of catching leptospirosis in the fresh water, something our farm in Honaunau warned us about.

{In actuality our fear of explaining to our family how we broke our limbs jumping off of a perfectly sound bridge was probably the real reason we opted out.}

Ua ka ua, kahe ka wai - The rain rains, the water flows

Our scenic drive led the way to a visit to Akaka Falls State Park, a 20 minute drive north of Hilo on Route 220, which ends at the park. We parked alongside the road outside of the park to avoid the $5/car parking fee, then paid our $1/person entrance feel to access the .4 mile/.6 km paved loop trail past both Kahuna and Akaka Falls. When the trail branches, stay to the right to view Kahuna Falls first, as Akaka is more impressive so Kahuna will be overshadowed if you don't visit her first.

Aside from the very impressive Akaka Falls with her 442'/135m drop, we also enjoyed the lush vegetation along the paved trail (much of which is, sadly, not native but rather planted years ago to create a lush, tropical jungle feel for visiting tourists). It is however still impressive nonetheless, and we were mouth agape at many of the gigantic trees in the park, including a banyan which had trunks on both sides of the Kolekole Stream which flows through the 65 acre park.

On our way back towards Hilo we stopped for what has become our new favorite tourist attraction - the local fruit stand, where Papa Bear has discovered the virtues of young, fresh green coconut. While he sipped coconut water I snapped pictures of my favorite tourist attraction, the Red Jungle Fowl, a pair of which were strutting around the fringes of the fruit stand looking for scraps.

The culmination of our day was spent wandering around the Rainbow Falls State Park, which is actually right in the city of Hilo itself. Here we happened upon our former WWOOF-mates also enjoying the park on their post-WWOOF-ing vacation with family. Together we walked through the banyan tree forest and carefully climbed around the rocks on top of the waterfall. On misty mornings this 80'/24m falls casts a rainbow across the lagoon. We happened to be there late afternoon, so we didn't get to witness this part of the attraction. But it was well worth a visit nonetheless.
You don't have to travel far from Hilo to take in some amazing sights. We spent the entire day within a 20-mile radius of the city.

Aloha!

If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy our Big Island Circle Tour Part I and Part III. Thanks for reading!

Big Island Circle Tour - Green Sands Beach - South Point, Hawaii

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 07:28:00 +0000

If you're going to be visiting the Big Island of Hawaii, and you're driving between Kona and Hilo, you really, really, really must stop at South Point Park at the southern tip of the island and visit Green Sands Beach (Mahana Beach).

If you've rented a Jeep, you can drive down the 12 mile paved road off of Hwy 11 and continue on past the parking lot to the rugged 4x4 road that will take you along the shoreline to the top of the cliff above the beach.

If you've rented an economy car, you will need to park it in the parking lot and hike in the 2 miles in on the 4x4 roads. The hike is beautiful, following the lava rock coastline with ample opportunity to watch the surf crash and look for whales.

Either way you travel in, you win. (We hiked).

The climb down to the beach looks intimidating but is actually quite easy, with footholds seemingly carved into the cliff wall, and we saw several children on the beach with their families as testament to the beach's easy access.

There are warnings about this beach being dangerous for snorkeling due to the presence of a rip tide, but the day we were here (early Feb.) the waves were crashing but not seriously, and we experienced no current at all where we were swimming.

The beach is made up of black lava sand mixed with olivine mineral crystals and the effect is a dark green color which is only found on this beach.

The cove where the beach is located is breathtakingly beautiful and well worth the hike even if the beach were not so amazing.

We visited on a weekend and there were only handful of other folks there when we arrived around 2:00pm. We swam for at least 40 minutes before tearing ourselves away from the beautiful aquamarine waters and drying off a bit before our climb back out.

On our hike out, a local with a pickup asked if we wanted a shuttle out - for a mere $10/person. We were in the mood for a little more hiking so we declined the offer and were glad we did when we saw a pod of whales off the shoreline blowing spray and doing tail-slaps and even the occassional full-body jump.

Not far from the Green Sands parking lot is another parking lot where you can stop and visit the southern most point in the entire USA. We stopped there on our way back from the beach and were amazed to find cliff jumping platforms hugging the cliff's edge {um... no thank you}, and two kite-boarders getting some crazy air jumping over the sizeable waves {again, fun to watch but not on my bucketlist}.

After a fun day of hiking, sun and surf, we were ready to head back to our B&B room in Kurtistown and relax for the rest of the evening, a perfect ending to a perfect day.

If ever we return to the Big Island, South Point Park will definitely be on our "must-see-again" list.

Aloha -

If you enjoyed this post, you may also enjoy our Big Island Tour Part II and Part III posts. Thanks for reading!

Jungle Macadamia Nuts

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 06:10:00 +0000

I'm relieved to report that picking Jungle Mac Nuts is not nearly as terrifying as picking Jungle Coffee.

I'm relieved because I've spent about 5 billion hours picking mac nuts over the last two months.

In fact, it's all rather benign. Imagine strapping on knee pads and taking a dishpan and 5-gallon pail and a few burlap sacks out into a Macadamia Nut grove, where the nuts are literally littering the ground.

You are given a "bay" to pick, a grid between mature mac nut trees. You pop your iPod earphones in, crank the dance tunes, and for 2.5 hours, you're on your hands and knees picking nuts off the forest floor as fast as you can go. The only decision you need to make is which nuts to pick up.

{Insert hitchhiking joke here.}

Sometimes what looks like a nut is just an empty husk, and the nut has fallen out already. Sometimes the nut has started to rot or sprout or it's infested with ants or partially eaten by rats.

The mac nut grove is quite shady and cool, as the trees were planted with just enough spacing for each canopy to reach the next tree, producing 100% shade on the forest floor before. There are a few ambitious mac nut tree seedlings which manage to sprout here and there, which we pull out. These seedlings are referred to as "keikis," (pronounced 'cake-ease'), the Hawaiian word for children.

About 3 1/2 full dishpans produce two full 5-gallon buckets, and two 5-gallon buckets make one guinea sack full of nuts.

In 2.25 hours I can pick 4 full bags.

Not that I'm bragging mind you. But I am pretty good at picking nuts.

I also usually get to sort all the hulled mac nuts the next morning, a job I love as it happens to take place right beside the pullet coop, where I can chatter with the "girls" as I make my way back and forth with racks full of nuts ready to stack and dry.

No ants swarming over my body. No spiderwebs wrapping around my face. Occasionally I see an earwig (ish) or a small centipede (yikes) which I stay away from, but for the most part, benign.

Oh, and one of my other favorite parts about the mac nut forest?

That's where Beyonce the Red Jungle Fowl hen lives.

All by herself.

Every mac nut forest needs a Beyonce.

Trust me on this one.

Lesson from the Kalij Pheasant Family

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 01:43:00 +0000

(image from here)

There is a family of Kalij pheasants who live in the vicinity of this farm, and who wander past our tiny cabin several times a day on their way to and from their favorite spots.

The eight-acre tropical coffee and macadamia nut farm we're working and living on this winter has a perimeter fence of 4"x4" welded wire to keep out feral pigs (and loose dogs, both of which there seem to be a lot of on the Big Island) and keep in Zeena the farm dog. The lowest several rows of wire have narrower spaces than the higher rows (to keep out the piglets).

Every time I see the pheasant family near the perimeter fence, I stop and watch how they behave. The mama pheasant, nearly invisible in her coat of brown camoflauge feathers, hops up a couple of rows and pops on through a 4" opening above the rows of smaller holes. Once safely on the other side, she waits patiently in the vicinity and watches the rest of her family. She is always calm and quiet, only murmuring a few quiet "urr urr" noises to her baby every now and then.

Papa pheasant, who walks with a slight limp, usually follows suit, although it takes him a little longer it seems to remember how to get through. Male baby, however, always follows the same behavior pattern - keeping his head lowered, uttering lots of loud "urr urr urr" noises, he scans the lowest rows of fencing for a gap big enough to slip through (he is nearly adult-sized) and runs frantically back and forth along a section of fence maybe 20yds wide.

No matter how many times he runs back and forth along the fence, he never finds a gap to slip through, because there are no wider openings in the lowest rows of wire.

Despite his mother easily hopping up and through the fence several times a day, he has not learned to stop and watch her and learn from her behavior. He continues to run frantically along the fenceline looking for a gap. Several times every day he repeats this behavior.

It reminds me of the story I'm sure you've read before:

A man walks out of a bar and sees a drunken man searching the ground under a lamp post for his house keys. The first man decides to help him, and both search around for a while. Finally, the first man asks, "Are you sure this is where you lost your keys?" The drunken man answers, "No, I dropped them in the alley, but it's too dark there to see, and the light is better under the lamp post."

How many times do we look in the same place for our lost keys, or purse, or remote control, certain it is there, when it is clearly somewhere else? How many times do we do the same thing over and over again, hoping for new outcomes? Date the same kind of person, have the same arguments with our spouse, return every day to our "safe" but boring jobs while our creative spirits wither.

How many times do we get stuck in the same thought patterns - "I can't change things, this is the way life is, there is nothing I can do."

We are all like frantic baby pheasants running back and forth looking only at the bottom of the fence for a gap that doesn't exist.

When we remember to stop and look up, we see all the opportunities in front of and around us, just waiting for us to take the time to look for them. We see others leading by example. We see we can fly over the fence, or hop up and go through the bigger gaps.

We see new possibilities and opportunities.

If only we remember to look up.

Mauna Kea to Mauna Lani - Snowballs & Sand Castles

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 19:40:00 +0000

Our love affair with a rental car-upgraded-free-to-a-Jeep recently led us on a ~~wild~~ tame ride up Saddle Road to Mauna Kea in search of snowy summits.

This little loo is located at 13,796 feet, at the summit of Mauna Kea on the Big Island of Hawaii.

{Yes, I used it. I am a pinnacle pee-er}

It shares mountain top space with no less than thirteen different telescopes, built by eleven countries.

If there is life on other planets, the folks on the summit of Mouna Kea will be the first to know.

Our trip up to the mountain was surprising, the way the flora changed from jungle at sea-level to open grasslands dotted with grazing sheep and cattle as we climbed upwards, reminiscent of Papa Bear's stomping grounds in Wyoming, a far cry from tropical Hawaii.

That is one of the coolest things about Hawaii - the diversity of micro climates. Like snow on Mauna Kea, for example.

After a brisk walk about at the summit, we were all in favor of getting back in the warm Jeep and heading back down to the ocean for a dip.

I wanted to find the good snorkeling beach a fellow passenger on my flight over had recommended, somewhere in the vicinity of Mauna Lani resort.

We found a couple of beach access points, but I'm not sure either of them were the right one. The first one was a long, paved trail through a region covered in collapsing lava tubes.

{Don't worry mama - the liquid lava is long gone.}

Very cool, but I don't think the mom that recommended the beach we were searching for had dragged her two very small children down that very long path.

We gave up on that hike and found another beach access. The parking lot was dotted with feral cats. I took that as a very good sign, probably a message from our clowder on the mainland that they missed us and wondered why we have abandoned them.

{We're coming home soon kids!}

When we got to the beach, it was near sunset. We met an old wise man there that we mistook for a transient at first, until he taught us a life lesson I won't soon forget. More on that story later.

We opted out of a swim due to the cooling temps and setting sun, but stayed for the sunset, which Papa Bear capture nicely in the palm of his hand.

Summits to sea-level, snow to surf. You really can find it all on the Big Island of Hawaii.

Aloha -

What I'm Grateful For Tonight

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 05:27:00 +0000

It's been a tough six weeks since our arrival here in early December. Technical, transportation, physical, mental and emotional challenges have plagued us from the get-go.

I broke my new Nikon P&S camera (scratched the lens badly) our first day on the island, then broke my old backup P&S Canon (seawater leaked into the waterproof case). My work laptop died completely.

It really is a wonder I've been able to post at all.

But there are always good things in every tough situation, and tonight I am choosing to focus on a few of those things that buoy me up and make me smile.

Sorting mac nuts near the pullet house. How I miss the happy sounds of my flock at home.

My nightly ritual of climbing the highest hill on the property and watching the sun sink into the clouds over the ocean

Greeting the family of Kalij pheasants lingering near the outhouse on my return to our tiny, cozy cabin. The male offspring still has not gotten the hang of jumping through the fence, so I often see him running back and forth along the fence with his parents patiently waiting on the other side.

My crabby husband, reading an iBook on his phone in bed.

{OK, so it doesn't make me smile that he's crabby. But it does make me smile that he's my husband, despite his occasional donning of the Crabby Pants.}

Having a computer that works so I can write when stuff piles up in my head. {Thanks to my crabby husband for the backup laptop}.

All of my peeps - literal and figurative - back on the mainland rooting for us as we hang in there for these last two weeks.

We couldn't do this without all of y'alls support. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Random Things I've Learned about Bananas

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 03:54:00 +0000

I thought I knew some stuff about bananas. I really did. It's probably the first fruit I ever ate as a baby, and I have continued to enjoy them my entire life.

But I have learned some new things about bananas during our time here at the farm. Things that have surprised even me.

Like...

Bananas do not grow on trees. They are an herb! Despite their sometimes-ginormous size (some of the plants here are 30' tall!), they are really a perennial herb and their trunk is made up of many leaves tightly wrapped around a single stem which turns into the fruit-bearing flower stalk.

It can take many months for the bunch to ripen, and once the bunch is harvested, the original stem dies. So how do bananas continue to grow? Side shoots spring up near the base of the original stem and produce the next generations of fruit. It can take 12-18 months for these stems to produce fruit.

If you cut a banana (stem or leave stalk), it will drip a clear liquid. Do not be fooled - this seemingly-benign liquid will change colors as it dries on your clothes, staining them a nice blood-red-brown color.

{Apparently, bananas have blood, too.}

There are over 400 varieties of bananas world-wide, with the American favorite being the yellow Cavendish. They grow several different varieties on the farm here, and the "apple banana" and "dwarf Cuban reds" are two of my current favorites.

The banana flower was considered to be a phallic symbol in medieval times, and thus bananas were banned from nunneries.

Actually, I made up that last one. I doubt banana herbs grew in Europe in medieval times.

Anyway.

More than you ever wanted to know about bananas.

You're welcome.

Surfing in Kahaluu Beach Park, Hawaii, and the Traveling Red Dress

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 14:59:00 +0000

Papa Bear and I each have a few things on our Bucket List (aka do-before-we-die list). Visiting Hawaii was on PB's.

Check.

Snorkeling was on both our lists.

Check check.

Learning to surf was on mine.

So this weekend, while simultaneously enjoying the thrills of having a rental vehicle at our disposal and also enjoying the company of friends from Wyoming visiting Kona, we decided to take the advice of several locals and visit Kahaluu Bay for some surfing lessons.

The waiter at Bongo Ben's recommended we rent boards and hire instructors at Kahaluu Bay Surf & Sea which is conveniently located right across from Kahaluu beach, so that's where we headed, where we teamed up with surf instructors Isha (pronounced Eye-Sha) and Ben for some ultra-beginner instructions.

We picked the right place to go! Both instructors were very patient in explaining things to us, none of us having been on boards before.

Our on-land instructions included an introduction to the parts of the surf board (nose, tail, rails, deck & fins) and we all practiced "popping up" into surf position from laying on our bellies on the board.

This sounds easy enough, and on dry land, it isn't too hard. It's way more difficult when you're trying to balance on a board on moving water.

After our dry-land instructions, we headed out into Kahaluu Bay following Isha, who tethered a buoy which would become our "home base" between each wave we road. We were warned about the rip tide which was pretty strong, and we discovered just keeping our boards close to the buoy would be a challenge with the size of the waves in the bay that day.

While the rest of us clung to the buoy and attempted to keep our boards pointing into the oncoming waves, Ben and Isha each headed out with an individual surfer for their first real wave.

My board was a wide, stable, 11' board, and when Isha yelled for me to paddle then gave me a push onto the wave, I stood up and went several yards! It was exhilarating!

Once I paddled back to the buoy I found out PB's board was a foot shorter than mine and he was having trouble balancing on his, so I traded him. For the next few wave attempts, I was not able to stand for more than a second.

Blessings and curses often come in the same package. PB got seasick during the lesson and decided to head in early, so I got the 11' board back.

Wahoo!

My last wave in for the day was a long sweet one and I stood the whole way in.

I could barely lift my arms by the end of the lesson, and my ribs, knees and pubic bone were all bruised from laying on the board through many a wipe out and bouncing through the waves.

I surfed. Badly perhaps, but I did it.

Which brings me to Jenny Lawson and the Traveling Red Dress project. Which sounds like it has nothing to do with surfing. But it has everything to do with having a Bucket List and tenaciously pursuing one's dreams, no matter how "insensible" they may seem to others.

In Jenny's words:

"I want, just once, to wear a bright red, strapless ball gown with no apologies. I want to be shocking, and vivid and wear a dress as intensely amazing as the person I so want to be. And the more I thought about it the more I realized how often we deny ourselves that red dress and all the other capricious, ridiculous, overindulgent and silly things that we desperately want but never let ourselves have because they are simply ‘not sensible’.

Things like flying lessons, and ballet shoes, and breaking into spontaneous song, and building a train set, and crawling onto the roof just to see the stars better. Things like cartwheels and learning how to box and painting encouraging words on your body to remind yourself that you’re worth it."

"Find your red dress. And wear the hell out of it."

Jungle Shower

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 02:57:00 +0000

I know you've all been wondering, "How do you take care of yourselves in your primitive-tropical-Hawaiian-jungle-environment with no flush toilets or hot running water?"

I'm here to show you how we take our jungle showers.

Sadly, I lost the very adorable picture I had of Papa Bear in the jungle shower when my laptop went on the blitz and died.

{Don't worry, it wasn't a Nudie-Judy, and if my laptop is resuscitated I will post that pic here.}

SO basically the shower works like this:

Fill shower bag halfway with water.
Place bag, black side up, on black tailgate on black tarp. (Breadfruit optional)
Let sit in the sunshine for several hours.
Hoist bag up to shower room with ingenious pulley system.
Take hot (but quick) shower in Jungle Shower.

This system works brilliantly as long as the sun shines.

Here on the Kona coast, the sun usually shines in the morning, then clouds up by 12:30pm or so (just in time for us to get done with our work shifts).

A shower around 4:30pm on a cloudy day will be a very brisk shower. I'm not tough enough for that treatment, so when that happens, I take a kettle of near boiling water, mix a little at a time with the shower bag water in a water pitcher and pour the warmed water back into the bag.

Ahhhhh!

Just like showering at home. But without so much water.

Aloha -

Hau’oli Makahiki Hou - Happy New Year!

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 06:30:00 +0000

Papa Bear and I rounded out the last of 2011 with a full day - chores (pulling vines then pruning banana leaves), a swim and snorkel at Two-Step beach, and a burger at Keokis (just a mile up the road from the farm).

Home by sunset, since we are carless, we are now chillin' in the cabin, listening to fireworks being shot off somewhere in the neighborhood, thinking about how thankful we are to have such full and interesting lives, and remembering all of our peeps (both people and poultry) on the mainland, who we miss immensely.

Happy 2012 everybody!

Singing the Blues in Paradise

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 02:57:00 +0000

I hesitate to write this post. I am, after all, in Paradise for the winter, the Big Island no less. There really should be nothing to complain about. I mean, really.

How can I be blue in a place where the days are always 75 degrees and sunny until noon. After which it clouds over just in time for us to be finished with chores and have free time.

And how can I be blue when the ocean is only 3 miles away. A 1000' foot decent that takes over an hour to walk down, and even longer to walk back up. Under a cloudy afternoon sky.

With all of the tropical fruits we can manage to stuff into our recipes. Like avocado scrambled eggs, PB & avocado sandwiches, and avocado spaghetti. (I've even heard of some intrepid souls making avocado chocolate pudding pie and avocado lime cheesecake bars).

And why should it matter that all of the amenities are approximate 6 miles into town, and the last bus north leaves at 9:30am, long before your shift ends?

Yes, there is hitchhiking. But we suck at that. I was even told, "Wow, even the ugly interns have had no trouble hitchhiking into town."

Um, is that suppose to make me feel better?

Yes, trapped in Paradise, with no vehicle, no access to a decent grocery store, no buses except on Mondays (and even then sometimes they won't pick you up), and no good at hitchhiking.

Yes, this is Paradise people. You should all be jealous and wish you were here.

Actually, I do wish you were all here. With us. Being perpetually stuck on the farm wouldn't be nearly as bad that way.

We could try out that avocado cheesecake and drink cheap gas station beer (only a mile hike for that) and watch the sun sink into the pale pink haze above the horizon.

And somehow, with all of you here, it would feel more like Paradise again.

Aloha -

The Birds of Paradise

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 01:54:00 +0000

(image from here)

I know what you're thinking. "That's no bird of paradise, that's a chicken!"

Well... yes and no. That's a Red Jungle Fowl, brought to the Hawai'ian islands by the colonizing Polynesians over 700 years ago.

Well not that particular chicken. They don't live that long.

To my surprise and delight, after leaving my own flock behind on the mainland before we moved to Hawaii last week, there are chickens here. Lots and lots of chickens - both domestic and feral fowl.

{That alliteration makes me giggle.}

The farm where we are working and living near Honaunau on the Big Island of Hawai'i has nearly 60 laying hens ranging in age from 4 months to 3 years. They range around the farm between the coffee trees in mobile chicken tractors, eating grass, weeds and bugs and depositing nitrogen-rich manure.

This is a win-win for both the farmers and the chickens. And for anyone picking coffee in their vicinity, as they will strike up quite a banter with you, giving you all the daily news and gossip. Papa Bear had them all cackling with glee over his silly jokes today.

The feral Red Jungle Fowl are found pretty much everywhere. I understand they can be so prolific as to be problematic especially on some of the smaller islands. But on the Big Island, out in the country where we now reside, they're not really a nuisance from what I can tell.

We see them on the sides of the roads all of the time, usually a rooster with several hens in tow, strutting around their individual territories. I love listening to them, and the roosters are exceptionally colorful and always in charge.

When I'm really desperate for poultry affection, I can go sit in the coop with the 4-month old pullets, who are still peeping but just starting to cluck a little, and talk "chicken-talk" to them, and they chatter right back to me.

After just a few moments, I can feel myself start to relax a bit, and I start smiling over the silly things pullets will do. Like try to peck the buttons off my pants. They'll also eat the "hitchhiker" seeds off my pants legs. Which is funny AND beats picking them off by hand.

Sometimes I bring them treats, like cracked macadamia nuts, or fresh snails pulled out of the squash patch. These chickens eat like queens. Papaya, avocado, banana, macadamia. In addition to their regular rations of course.

And then inevitably, this goofy song pops into my head that Papa Bear likes to sing at random times. If you've never heard it, YouTube it. And giggle.

"May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!

May an elephant caress you with his toes

May your wife be plagued by runners in her hose

May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!"

~ Little Jimmy Dickens

Snorkeling at Two Step, Keone'ele Cove, Pu'uhonua o Honaunau

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 03:00:00 +0000

You know those terrible photos people take with their underwater cameras? And then want to show you all of them? And you're like, "Yeah, dude, that looks like a blue screen with squiggles on it." and they're all like, "That's a shark! Can't you see his fin right here?"

Yep, I'm gonna show you some of those awful photos. But without any sharks. I promise.

The exciting thing (for us) is that our box finally arrived this week, the box we mailed to ourselves on 11/29 from Sheridan, WY. It only took three weeks to get here. Inside the magical box was our 3-month supply of supplements, bug dope, suncreen... and the waterproof camera case for my old little Canon Elph SD1000.

{Thus all of the terrible underwater photos}

But instead of fish photos you can't really see the fish in anyway, we thought you might enjoy some random pictures of us being silly. And one really big sea turtle. (I'll let you decide which pic that is.)

To celebrate the holidays. And because, who gets to snorkel on Christmas, for goodness' sake?!

You can see I'm even wearing red, in honor of Santa and poinsettias. Which we happen to have here on the farm.

{Poinsetties, not Santa. Although Santa was here today.}

I know, right? It's like totally awesome Dude!

{"Mr. Turtle is my father!"}

{Name that movie!}

BTW, snorkeling at Two-Step is a Hawaii MUST DO. Not only are there gobs of coral and beautiful reef fish swimming around in the shallow water, the bay is a resting area for spinner dophins, who sometimes hang out with the snorkelers.

Which is what happened a couple of weeks ago when Papa Bear and I went swimming.

We swam with the dolphins!

The best Christmas gift, ever.

{You're welcome sweetie. Don't look for any more gifts under the tree, 'cuz that was it. Well there's no tree to look under, either. Maybe next year.}

Mele Kalikimaka - Merry Christmas!

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 19:57:00 +0000

First an apology for the lack of posts this week. My laptop died in its sleep earlier in the week. Without a vehicle at our disposal, that means the earliest we can get it looked at is Monday, when we can hop on a bus and take it into Kona.

Sadder even than the out of commission laptop (I am currently borrowing Papa Bear's to write this post) is the fact that all of my pictures from the Big Farm this summer and all of my Hawaii pictures are on that laptop.

All of the posts I had been writing about coffee and picking macadamia nuts and visiting Hawai'i Volcanoes National Park - are all sitting naked in Blogger, awaiting the addition of photos so I can post them. Photos I can't access and may possibly be lost forever.

(I know what you're thinking - where are your photo backups??? We can back our photos up to Carbonite, but it requires many gigabytes of data to do that, and we have a 5GB/month data plan. So the only time we normally do it is when we're visiting a coffee shop with Wifi. With no vehicle here, we don't often get to coffee shops).

But enough whining. Papa Bear brought his little point & shoot camera on our latest outing to Volcanoes National Park, so I have a few photographs our fellow WWOOFers took and those will have to do until I get the final verdict on my laptop.

This is the first Christmas we will be celebrating without any of our family, and it feels quite strange. In fact I keep forgetting it is Christmas at all. Especially with the lack of snow and plethora of tropical fruits everywhere.

This evening, an evening I have for all the many decades of my life normally spent in a quiet church on the northern shores of Lake Superior, singing carols and lighting candles, I will be missing from the pew beside my family.

But I will be there in spirit, reliving the miracle of a tiny baby born far away from home and placed lovingly into a hay-filled manger, his arrival heralded by none other than the common and lowly shepherds tending their flocks in the fields.

Blessings and a Merry Christmas to you all!

Our First Week in Hawaii

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 00:49:00 +0000

I know I've only been scratching the surface of our stay here in Honaunau, Hawai'i. After our first two days of blissful relaxation near Kona, arriving at the farm where we will be living and working for the next two months was a bit overwhelming.

Frankly, our first week was utterly exhausting.

There have been time zone challenges (my on-line workday begins at 4:00am to accomodate an 8:00am Central Time job); culture shock; living condition challenges (125 square feet of living space, composting toilets, no hot running water, shower-in-a-bag, clothes line dryer, foods we've never heard of much less know how to eat).

There have been hours upon hours of exhausting work picking ripe coffee cherry, and the mental and physical challenges of realizing all amenities are at least a mile or more away (by foot) and a decent grocery store is more than five miles away (by bus - when the buses run, which is normally NOT when we have any free time).

The nearest beach is over three miles and 1000 feet downhill from the farm, with the return trip being an hour and a half by foot. The farm does not provide transportation to any of these places.

I had a slight emotional breakdown when, on our second day of work, we were asked to prepare and bring a dish for a collaborative dinner, made of things we didn't even know how to pronounce much less prepare, for strangers.

All of this stuff takes some getting used to. Mentally, emotionally, physically.

Our bodies and spirits and feet ached all of last week. I thought of quitting several times.

And then, bit by bit, things started to improve.

We had our first visit to Honaunau Bay, where Papa Bear got to try snorkeling and came out of the ocean breathless not from water in his snorkel, but from his first experience seeing the beatiful reef fish exploring the amazing coral mere feet below where he floated.

{And, he floats here! Something he can't do in freshwater.}

We found a tiny natural foods market within easy walking distance and had our first real restaurant meal (fresh Ono fish and burgers).

We started figuring out the bus and rideshare process (locals learn who the farm WWOOF'ers are and will stop and give you rides when you are walking somewhere).

And Sunday, our first full day off since we began work here, we caught a ride to Honaunau Bay and we both snorkeled (my first time) and were joined by pods of spinner dolphins who come into the bay to rest and tend their young.

OK, so maybe moving to Hawaii to work and live on a farm this winter wasn't such a crazy idea after all. Despite the rat that scurried down the outhouse wall right next to my thigh at 3:30am last week. Despite the swarms of ants that cover our arms while picking coffee. Despite the lack of hot running water and a decent shower.

Maybe, just maybe, we can get used to this simplified version of living. Where there is no large house, no garage, no car, and not much "stuff." There is also no rent, no mortgage, and no heating bills.

There is fresh air, clean water, organic fruits and veggies, and lots of opportunities to use our muscles, every single day.

And if you're really, really lucky, maybe a dolphin or two.

Aloha -

Moving Alpacas - Our Redneck Livestock Trailer

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 06:17:00 +0000

As promised, here is the first of several posts about how we packed up a house, garage and barn into storage, farmed out all of our animals, and moved to Hawai'i for the winter.

{No, we're not independently wealthy. Or even dependently wealthy.}

Things I learned from moving our three male alpacas to Wisconsin:

If you don't have a livestock trailer, don't sweat it. There are still other options. Like, for example, you could put them in your minivan. Or in your Suburban. Barring those options, you could also put them in the front end of your 1971 Airstream Travel Trailer. Put down a tarp, throw some of those interlocking-rubber-mat-thingies on top, and use hay bales as a barricade to prevent wandering past the front area.

When you head to the pasture at O-Dark-30 to collect them, don't expect them to come running to the barn to greet you. They are checking their watches, scratching their heads and thinking, "Something funny's going on here. Stay as far away from the hoomans as possible."

This hooman-avoidance-tactic will be instigated by your alpha male, but the younger boys, who would normally follow you anywhere, will follow his lead instead.

Although you religiously practice CameliDynamics techniques for respectfully handling your animals, trying to catch a wily alpha male in the middle of a dark pasture after 45 minutes of ~~chasing~~ herding may require some rodeo skills not normally used with alpacas. Just forgive yourself and move on.

Once you get a handful of fleece wherever you can grab one (even on the back works), work your way up to the head without ever letting go. You will never catch this male again if you let go or fall off.

Alpacas can do a surprisingly accurate rendition of a bucking bronco. Forgive yourself but DO NOT LET GO! Eventually he will get tired of hopping across the pasture with you attached to his neck.

Once all the halters are on, leading them and getting them into the Aistream is actually quite easy. It's like Mark Twain said - "If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first."

Not sure how that is related to wrangling alpacas, but it made sense to me at 6:00am.

Driving through rush-hour traffic in Minneapolis on I494 with three alpacas steaming up the front windows of an Airstream will make you giggle, and will make other observant drivers giggle, too.

And they'll wonder what the hell is wrong with you, for putting animals in your camper.

Jungle Coffee

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 14:59:00 +0000

If you've ever seen a coffee plantation (previous to our arrival here I didn't even know what a coffee plant looked like, but we drove past several plantations in the hills above Kona last weekend), you no doubt have a serene image in mind. Neatly planted rows of smallish trees bejeweled with ruby-red "cherry" (ripe coffee berries containing 2 beans each) marching in straight lines, underplanted with a lush green matt of grass. The whole things looks like a city park full of baby trees.

In this park-like scene, there are quiet workers moving from tree to tree picking cherry into their woven grass baskets, brandishing a picking hook made out of a hardened piece of coffee limb. There is probably Musak playing in the background in your mind's scene. There are no insects, no downpours, no sweltering sun, no cherry borer beetles, and definitely no swarms of ants.

That's plantation coffee, the cultivated, college-educated, white-collar suburban version the guide books offer you, no doubt wanting you to envision this peaceful scene every time you lift a cup of java to your parched lips.

And then there's Jungle Coffee.

When the owners of this farm bought this piece of farmland seven years ago, it had once been a coffee farm, but had been left wild for quite a few years. They said it truly was a jungle when they bought it - entering their property was only possible if yielding a machete to hack your way in. Every square inch of space had been overgrown by something wild and weedy (and possibly, wooly). The vines were so huge the owners could swing from tree to tree like Tarzan.

In seven years, they have done a tremendous job of reclaiming the farm, eliminating much of the jungle, removing most of the old tangle of coffee trees and even planting some well-behaved new ones in those attractive, straight rows. They've even underplanted much of the farm with grass, available only in 2" plugs, planted by hand.

But there is an area of the farm where the original Jungle Coffee still grows. And this is where we began our coffee picking lesson today.

The tools for picking are very simple. A plastic picking bucket with harness, a burlap bag and 5-gallon bucket to pour the picked cherry into, and a hooked stick with a rope on the end to pull down the taller branches (once a branch is hooked, you step on the rope to keep the branch at the right height).

We started with a benign looking back corner of the property, a few lone coffee shrubs setting apart from the rest, which we easily stripped of their ripe berries. Pick only the ones that are at least 3/4 red. Leave the green ones. The old shriveled up ones, called raisins, are sorted into a separate cup. Easy peasy.

And then our kind host showed us to our opposing corners along the fenceline, where we would be picking our way towards each other, to meet in the middle. My corner began in the remaining jungle, where the limbs were so overgrown and tangled, just getting a limb down into my picking zone was a challenge.

And then the last remaining vestige of that pleasant coffee-park-plantation scene in my mind was shattered by the harsh realities of real-life coffee picking: the coffee borer beetle, whose larvae eat and poo inside the coffee bean, ruining it; the scale insect and its accompanying band of ants (who herd and manage the scale insect, which produce a honeydew substance the ants harvest) and white halo virus (which attacks and kills scale), all of which you pick anyway - ants, scale, virus and all.

But it was really the ants that were the bane of my existence.

{I'm not sure why we don't use prisoners to harvest jungle coffee... it would be fitting punishment for many crimes}.

It's not that the ants were terribly large (they were tiny) and they were not a biting variety. It's not that it was too hot (we were picking in the jungle, plenty shady).

Their sheer numbers were what caused the majority of my problems. Grabbing a cluster of cherry berries would cause a few dozen (or hundreds) of ants to swarm angrily out of the center of the cluster where they had, moments before this human earthquake, just been happily tending their herd of scale and gorging on honeydew.

Hundreds of ants swarming over your gloves and up your arms (and occassionally on your neck and shoulders) is just not a pleasant experience in my book. I had to stop constantly to flick them off (I really can't stand the feeling of things crawling on me, biting or not) and it just sort of grossed me out and gave me the heebie-jeebies.

It made me wish I had a bathtub, or even black plastic bucket like Zena, to soak all the sweat and ant bodies off afterwards. But alas, a black bag of water heated by the sun and operated with drip nozzle were all my rewards for a hard days' work.

I harvested 19 pounds of coffee cherry in 3.5 hours. Only 81 pounds short of a good coffee picker's daily haul.

Then again, a good coffee cherry picker {probably} does not have to harvest jungle coffee. Of that I am {almost} certain.

Paleaku Peace Gardens - Big Island of Hawai'i

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Strauser) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 00:33:00 +0000

In keeping with our "do-as-close-to-nothing-as-possible-while-still-enjoying-the-wonders-of-Hawai'i" theme, we thought perhaps an educational outing that would help us learn the flora of this new environment would be in order.

We decided to head to the Paleaku Peace Gardens, a seven-acre garden with the theme of peace and harmony, which, it turns out, is right in the vicinity of the farm where we will be working.

This garden boasts the only Galaxy Garden in the world, a garden representation of our Milky Way galaxy. Little did I know prior to my arrival here, at the center of our galaxy there is a black hole, and near that black hole resides Karma, a 4-month old male kitten, and his sister, Dharma.

These kittens seem to exist purely for the sake of offering visitors unbridled feline love and affection, something we were sorely lacking since leaving our clowder in WY last week. I soaked up as much of it as possible, as indicated by the severe amount of cat hair I found on my t-shirt later {well worth it}.

Any garden with affectionate feline residents is a good garden as far as I'm concerned, and definitely enhanced the pleasure of my visit there.

Unfortunately, none of the plants were labeled in the gardens, so we didn't really succeed in learning all that much about the flora of Hawai'i. We were told signs and labels disrupt the peacefulness of the visitor's experience. My experiece was disrupted by not knowing what plants I was looking at.

Whatever.

It was still a lovely place, full of good energy and aesthetically pleasing. {And friendly cats!} A picnic lunch under a ginormous ficus tree concluded our visit, and we went back to the cottage looking forward to our next visit, knowing we would soon be living just steps away.

Aloha -