Have A Vision For Your Relationship That’s Bigger Than The Two of You

You need to be clear about your purpose for being together, what you want to achieve, a plan for getting there, and something you’ll do together to contribute to the world and the well being of others.

Learn To Be A Good Listener

You will need to give each other the gift of listening to one another with genuine interest, an open heart, with empathy and understanding without negativity, criticism, or judgment. Remember that communication always breaks down when people don’t feel heard or when they feel that they are being judged or criticized.

Be Clear About What You Want And Learn How To Ask For It

Learn how to ask for what you want without demanding. Caring people want to give their partners the love they desire. Do not assume that your partner knows what you want or how you want it without your asking for it.

Learn How To Manage Conflict Effectively

Conflicts, misunderstandings and frustrating situations can’t be avoided in marriage. You are likely to disagree about any number of things. Therefore, you must learn how to manage conflicts and to come to agreement over those things that you have differences about.

Keep Your Romance Alive

Make special time for each other regularly being affectionate, caring and romantic. Help each other, show appreciation in both words and deeds. Keep the love, respect, affection, and passion alive in your relationship.

Finally, if you find yourselves having problems in any of these areas, we encourage you to get help without delay. Don’t wait until it’s too late.

To Your Relationship Success,

Jesse and Melva

Image: Timeless on Flickr

Local Marriage Workshops

Forget boring lectures, formal settings, awkward interactions, and gimmicky exercises that only lead to embarrassment, frustration, and lots of sighing and rolling of the eyes. The IMAGO Mining for Gold in Your Relationships weekend intensive workshop experience is like none other.

Explore our Imago workshop schedule in Michigan >>

Join the forum discussion on this post - (1) Posts

Enjoy!

Jesse and Melva

Imago Couples Weekend Workshops

Forget boring lectures, formal settings, awkward interactions, and gimmicky exercises that only lead to embarrassment, frustration, and lots of sighing and rolling of the eyes. The IMAGO Mining for Gold in Your Relationships weekend intensive workshop experience is like none other.

Explore our award-winning Imago Couples Weekend Workshops >>

We’d like to offer the following reasons why open marriage is a bad idea:

1. Open Marriage Can Be Extremely Damaging To Your Spouse’s Self Esteem

Not always, but most often, one spouse proposes to have an open marriage. What is really being communicated is that their partner is somehow deficient, not capable or not good enough in some area(s) of the relationship. Imagine the negative impact on your spouse.

2. Open Marriage Is An Diversion

Successful marriages require work. The most important work is on one’s self. A successful marriage is not so much as finding the right person as it is in being the right person. Open marriage only diverts us from doing the work necessary to create meaningful, long term, mutually satisfying relationships.

3. Open Marriages Can Be Socially Embarrassing and Humiliating

Society generally frowns on open marriages. And when it is discovered that a couple is engaged in an open marriage, it can be embarrassing not only for the couple but especially for their children. Your response might be that “I don’t care what society thinks. I’m living my life the way I choose.” That’s fine. But remember that there are always consequences for the choices we make.

So our advice is to say no to open marriage.

To Your Relationship Success,

Jesse and Melva

Image Credit:  Pink Sherbert Photography

Join the forum discussion on this post - (1) Posts

Enjoy!

Jesse and Melva

Local Michigan Marriage Counseling

We know what it takes to have an enduring, satisfying relationship – and that it requires more than just memories of the romantic feelings that first attracted us to one another. The idea that love alone sustains marriage, without personal and interpersonal work, is a myth. But it is also a misconception that it has to be all work and no play. The investment of time, energy, or money that goes into enhancing a relationship is like an effort to uncover gold. The rewards are rare and priceless and reap benefits for life.

Explore our marriage counseling services >>

photo credit: dno1967

The results are in. Numerous research studies have concluded convincingly that the majority of children are affected when their parents’ divorce. Not only are they affected during their childhood, it appears that they are affected into their adult lives.

So how does divorce affect children? From our 33 years as marriage counselors and therapists, we’d like to share just three of among the many ways that children are affected by divorce.

1. When parents divorce, the whole world that children have come to depend on is shattered. Children become fearful—not knowing what will become of them and the world that they’ve known. And because they’re children with vivid imaginations, they can create in their minds horrible outcomes which they don’t express. Not wanting things to become worse than they already are, their fears remain unspoken.

2. The fear that children experience makes them feel extremely uncertain and insecure. In spite of their parents attempt to offer reassurance that they are going to be okay, it usually has little effect because divorce impacts children emotionally. While the parents must deal with the emotional impact of divorce, imagine what it must be like for children.

3. Children often blame themselves for their parent’s divorce. Children, like adults, need to make sense out of traumatic, painful experiences. Children are affected by divorce because they have a need to know why their parents are divorcing. So they conclude, incorrectly, that it’s their fault. They might think, “if only” I had put my toys away, cleaned up my room, gotten better grades, did what my parents told me to do, etc., etc., then my parents wouldn’t be divorcing.

So, how are children affected by divorce? Think about it from the child’s way of seeing things. If you’ll do this, you’ll know that it’s not a good thing for kids. And the unfortunate thing is that the overwhelming number of parents who divorce really don’t need to. We’ve seen countless numbers of couples learn how to communicate better, resolve conflicts, become better, happier people, stay together and create wonderful relationships.

To your relationship success,

Jesse and Melva

Join the forum discussion on this post - (1) Posts