Coventry Telegraph - From Dawn Till Rusk

Who looks after mum?

2009-11-19T09:09:52Z

TODAY I'm writing this blog from my sick bed. If you read my last post, you'd know that my Butlins weekend ended with youngest throwing up all over us.

Not one to keep things to himself, he's passed his sick bug onto myself and eldest.

I hate being ill, not so much the feeling ill, but that as a mum it's not so easy to say, 'Hey, I feel so ill I'm going to take the day off work.' No, because mum's don't have days off.

When OH came down with a nasty cold last week, he took himself off to bed for two days, no questions asked, and life carried on pretty much the same.

Yesterday I was feeling pretty grotty and although I managed to stay stuck to the sofa for most of the day, I still had to do the school run, entertain youngest (or rather let Cbeebies do that job) and nurse middle son who was off school with the same illness as me.

By 5:30 I could bear it no longer and went up to bed, leaving three children to fend for themselves until OH came home at 6pm. Knowing they were all being looked after, I slept from 6 until 9pm and woke up feeling worse!

This morning I just knew I wouldn't be able to get up so OH has had the day off to care for youngest. He asked me what needed to be done and I said 'Food shopping and ironing.'
I added the ironing bit in the hope he may take pity on me...it didn't work.

Now don't me wrong, he's fantastic dad, can cook and do food shopping....but I know that this day in bed will mean at least another two days sorting out stuff that didn't get done today.

When I had youngest, we'd planned a home birth. Unfortunately I ended up with an emergency c-section and was in hospital for 4 days. One evening the kids came to visit me all eating cold Ginsters pasties from a vending machine. "What's this?' I asked middle son, 'Our tea.' he replied teary eyed.

You can imagine the carnage when I got home.

When my mum was still around, she would have been over like a shot with flowers and lucozade. The washing machine would be on, the washing up done, youngest sorted out and probably a bit of hoovering thrown in too. But not anymore.

As soon as I am ill, the house goes into a frenzy. 'But mum you look after us! Who's going to look after you?'

Ah well....thank goodness it doesn't happen very often.

Now where's that TV remote, I think 'Homes under the hammer' is about to start. At least there are some bonuses to this staying in bed lark!

Fun for all the family

2009-11-16T13:54:27Z

LAST weekend I told the family that we all needed a break before the joys of christmas descended on us. What I really meant was that I needed to get away for a weekend before I spend the next 5 weeks shopping, wrapping, cooking and entertaining.

There is a six year age gap between each of my children. Eldest is 13, middle one is 8 and youngest is 2, so finding a holiday that suits all of them can be challenging to say the least. A friend of mine has a caravan at Butlins in Minehead and I thought it would be a brilliant idea for us all to go there.

A few days before we left eldest came up to me and said, 'Don't get angry mum, but I don't want to go to Butlins.'

Angry? I couldn't have been happier! He and middle son can bicker, snipe, argue and fight until the cows come home, so the thought of him staying with friends for the weekend filled me with joy! I didn't tell him that though!

Friday came and once we'd collected middle son from school we took off for Minehead. About 20 minutes into the journey it began to rain...heavily. Then the wind started and it wasn't long before we were slowly making our way along the M5 in gale force winds and driving rain.

3 hours later, we finally arrived at the caravan. I unclenched my teeth and we made our way in. Having once spent a memorable, freezing cold weekend in an Inverness caravan, I'd come ready prepared with blankets, woolly socks and a hot water bottle.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that not only was the caravan spacious and brand new but it was also double glazed and centrally heated!!

That night the wind and the rain kept us awake for most of the evening. It was so windy I felt sure we would wake up in the land of OZ!

Saturday morning came and we thought the best antidote to the terrible weather was a trip to the swimming pool. It was then I discovered I'd packed the kids swim things...but not ours! Ooops....no swimming then.

After wrapping up in waterproofs, scarfs and hats we made our way through the wind and rain to the Butlins complex. It's been 13 years or more since I last went and I honestly couldn't remember much about it. McFly were playing that evening so much of the Pavillion was taken up with seating, but there was still plenty to do.

Youngest entertained himself in the Bob the Builder area, trying out different rides including a huge slide. Middle son spent all his money in the arcades and on the ten pin bowling and in the afternoon we went to the on-site cinema to see 'Up'.

After listening to McFly's sound check (we couldn't get tickets) we made our way, happy and tired, back to our cozy, warm caravan, for a bit of Strictly Come Dancing. (Couldn't miss that!!)

Sunday was a completely different day. Calm, sunny and dry. We spent the first half of the morning exploring Minehead beach and coffee shops and in the afternoon we watched an extreme sports demonstration back at Butlins.

As we made our way out of the Butlins Pavilion, some teenage boys were break dancing so we stopped to watch. Youngest, who was asleep in his buggy, then decided it was a good time to wake up and projectile vomit all over himself and my O.H! Great!

The next few hours were spent following a toddler around as he randomly threw up. Not the best end to the weekend.

Despite the vomiting episode, we had a great weekend. Loads to do for all ages, including us adults. The place was well organised, friendly and there was never a dull moment. My only complaint was Butlins looks quite tired in places and I hate to say it, dirty. It does need a bit of a face lift, but we didn't let that get in the way and had a great time.

We'll definitely be going back....in the summer!

To stay in the caravan we used, go to: www.butlinscaravan.co.uk

Mums just wanna have fun!

2009-11-02T13:38:55Z

AS readers of my other blog, The Accidental Businessmum, will know, I have a bit of an issue going out and leaving the kids with baby sitters.

It's not that I mind leaving them, it's just that I hate having to ask. This has caused no end of problems in my household because unless I can give the sitter at least four weeks notice, I just don't bother going out. This is crazy because I love nothing more than putting on my glad rags and ditching the kids for an evening.

We had one such incident a few weeks ago. My other half and I had been invited, quite by surprise, to the launch party of a new club opening in Stratford upon Avon. The invitation promised champagne, canapes and live music.....how could I resist?

My other half made me call my dad and arrange for him to sit....which wasn't a problem in the slightest. (Why do I worry so much!!)

My next concern was what to wear. I'm nearly 40 for goodness sake!! What do people wear to clubs these days....oh I sound sooooo old!! I dug out an ill fitting Top Shop top (Top Shop's trendy....right?) some black trousers and my super sparkly Paul Smith shoes which I'm very proud of, just a shame no one can see the label! Then, properly attired we set off for the venue, No1 Shakespeare St in Stratford upon Avon.

I have to say I have never, ever gone for a night out in Stratford. Leamington...yes, but Stratford! It feels like a million miles away!! As we arrived at the bar we were shown upstairs to their brand new club, The Chapel.

I made a bee-line for the champers and knocked it back, swiftly followed by another before turning around and taking in my surroundings. It was then that I spied a celebrity...yes...a real live celebrity!! How exciting!!

'Look there's Quentin Wilson'. I nudged my other half.

'Who?'

I then spent the next half hour explaining who he was and then decided it wasn't that exciting after all as I'd already seen him in B&Q a few years earlier.

Pretty soon I was offered some canapes, with black caviar!! That was way more exciting than Mr Wilson..I'd never tasted caviar. I closed my eyes, took a big bite and Mmmmmurgh!! Tasted like sea-water. Nearly as disappointing as my first taste of quails eggs earlier in the year. They tasted like...well....eggs!

More canapes followed, including tiny portions of scampi and chips, fillet of beef in mini filo pastry shells and red caviar on top of chunky chips which was gorgeous, much nicer than black caviar!

Pretty soon the cosmopolitan cocktails were being served and the band started to play.

I'm partial to a bit of live music and the band, to my mind, were fantastic. It's quite a small venue and the trio of musicians including Ben Drummond on bass and Grandmaster Ash on drums, suited it perfectly. They played everything from early Stevie Wonder to Queen.

By the time they had finished I'd drunk a fair amount of champagne and cosmopolitans and my other half decided he should take me home.

Would I go again. Definitely! It's a venue aimed at the over 21's and in future they'll be offering a mix of DJ's, tribute bands and other live music. I can't wait to go again.

I'd better get over my babysitter phobia!!

The Chapel @ No1 Shakespeare St.

Juggle muddle

2009-10-29T08:41:27Z

MULTITASKING has a lot to answer for.

As the kids gambol and frolic in fields and gather mushrooms all day long (OK, as they play more Wii than is good for them and get dragged round 'improving' museum exhibits) during half term, I'm trying to shoehorn in what passes for my working life.

Fortunately I'm a freelance writer so I can do bits here and there on my trusty laptop but it still requires a degree of organisation.

A degree of organisation that I appear not to possess...

We're a bit of a tech family you see. Between us there are three laptops, one desktop, one internet-enabled mobile phone and innumerate mp3 players, portable DVDs etc. We can be hooked up to anything, anywhere in the world at a moment's notice.

Except at my granny's house on half term.

So I leave the kidlets to destroy the fixtures and fittings and their father and decamp to a cafe just outside Edinburgh where I can get some broadband signal on my dongle (I LOVE that word...dongle dongle dongle...yum!).

HUGE latte...check
Netbook charged...check
Mobile charged... check
Brain on...near enough
Stored vitally important document on hard drive of netbook and not on family computer 450 miles away, document that the client needs tomorrow and we're not getting home til sunday....

Ah...

So there I was, congratulating myself on having sorted all the technology we needed, got the children kind of organised, made several deals with the husband about future lie-ins and nights out with the lads if he let me get on with this.

And instead of finishing my vitally important document I'm sitting with my rapidly cooling vat of coffee moaning to you.

Balls.

I can't juggle them either...

Dispelling the 'Wicked Stepmother' myth

2009-10-27T11:31:08Z

REBECCA Lippett from www.labellemereuk.blogspot.com has kindly written the most amazing post about being a stepmother.

As a step-mum myself I can identify with much of what Rebecca has written about. Step-parenting can be emotionally draining for all parties involved and it's not always easy to get the balance right.

Rebecca is a 33 year old wife and part-time stepmother from Bristol. Not only does she blog about stepmother issues and more at www.labellemereuk.blogspot.com but she also writes regularly for StepMom Magazine - to subscribe visit www.stepmommag.com.

When fellow stepmother Andrea Daly asked me to be a guest writer for her I was thrilled and flattered to be asked. When she then requested that I write a piece on being that most mis-understood and mis-maligned breed of parent, the Wicked Stepmother, I practically bit her hand off. a) because I AM a stepmother and b) because I love to grasp any opportunity I can to undo the Wicked Stepmother myth where possible and open people's eyes to the realities of being married to a man with children.

Stepmothers, very often, get a particularly rough deal. Most people are more inclined to feel sympathy toward the heart broken children, the struggling, single biological mother, or the "weekend" dad. It is rare for anyone to feel empathy for the stepmother who is often seen as the "homewrecker" despite her being nothing to do with the breakup of the marriage.

We are the final nail in the coffin of a relationship that others believe may have been salvaged had we not have made an appearance. The cards are stacked against us long before we say "I do". Bear with me whilst I fetch my "Victim" hat, my prozac and some gin, and I'll tell you why we get the crappy end of the stick.

**More than half of all adult women in the U.S. will marry a man with children. The numbers in the UK are not far behind.

**70% of remarriages where both partners have kids, will fail.

**63% of marriages with a childless woman married to a man with children will fail.

**The greatest predictor of divorce is the presence of children from a previous marriage.

**Divorce rates are 50% higher in remarriages with children than in those without.

**Studies show that resentment towards stepmothers is much more intense than negative attitudes towards stepfathers.

**The evil stepmother myth is alive and well in the 21st century.

It's true. Whilst male step-fathers are often viewed by others as heroic, "taking on her kids" and swooping in to save the fair maiden from a life of domestic drudgery and single mother-dom, step-mothers, paradoxically, are seen as someone who rides in on her broomstick and "takes Dad away". We are to be treated with suspicion, hostility and resentment.

It is very, very common for step-children to be jealous of a new stepmother figure. These are children who, not only feel very strong loyalty binds to their mother and anger and sadness about their parents split, but also may be used to having Dad to themselves during weekend visitation. But now, his attention isn't solely on them, they become jealous of her.

They project their anger about their parent's divorce onto the new step-mother as she is the "safer" target, and some even attempt to break up the relationship (a concept LOVED by Hollywood - think "the Parent Trap"). Despite the fact that, as is more often the case, stepmother was nothing to do with the breakup and came along much later on, and may well happen to be a jolly nice person also.

Then what happens is this. Step-mother, all too aware of the Wicked Stepmother stories, and the children's hostility, begins to go to extreme lengths to prove that she is nice and not wicked at all. She will literally bend over backwards to get the children to like her. This can become heartbreaking when, through no fault of her own, she fails, time and time again.

Kiss goodbye to your self-esteem!

But it is not just the children in the situation that can be problematic. Having another woman around her children can be highly traumatic for the biological mother and may bring out the territorial lioness in her as she goes to extreme lengths to remove the threat. After all, she didn't have any say in having this new "mother figure" thrust into their children's lives.

Some mothers may lay down ridiculous rules about stepmothers not being able to be there when the children visit, or kiss and cuddle them. Some even prevent their children from seeing their father all together. (Leading to Parental Alienation Syndrome - but that's a whole other post!) She may also, be very used to still having her ex at her beck and call "for the sake of the kids" resulting in her attempting to compete with stepmum for his attentions and "The No.1 spot".

Other problems a stepmother may face include resentment from her husbands' family. As it is usually the biological mother that has primary custody, often times, the outlaws "side" with the biological mother through fear of losing their grandchild/niece/nephew etc... Again, anger gets projected at the step-mother, who despite not being responsible for the break up, is a "safer" target and made a scapegoat for the changes that have happened.

Another problem can be the children's father himself, who often snatches precious little time with his little dahlings, and feels huge guilt for leaving them. He may spend his whole life trying to make it up to them.

This includes spoiling them, a lack of rules and structure, and not disciplining them when they really deserve to be disciplined. Unfortunately, not only do they grow into some pretty spoilt and obnoxious adults, but it can also make Stepmother's ideas on acceptable behaviour seem very strict.

This does nothing to enhance her popularity, especially if "guilty dad" doesn't back up her attempts to discipline, essentially giving the children carte blanche to ignore and disrespect any of stepmothers expectations.

Of course not all stepmothers experience all of these problems. Some don't experience any. If the bio-mum is reasonable, the children are young and accepting of a new parental figure, dad doesn't have "guilt" issues and the inlaws are non-possessive of the children, then things can be a proverbial bed of roses. I'm pretty lucky in that I have most of these boxes ticked although it hasn't always been that way.

Of course it's rare that all of these requirements are aligned at the same time. If that's you - consider yourself VERY lucky!

But all is not lost. There are pluses to this stepmothering gig. If, like me, you are "child free and loving it" then having step-children can be quite a nice little compromise really. Although you don't get to experience the "joy" of motherhood, and you'll never replace their real mum, you do get to play a big part in shaping who they will eventually become. And the hugs, kisses and "I love you's" that I get from my stepkids make it all worth it (yes, I'm afraid I'm one of the lucky ones!

My stepkids were young when I came on the scene and are allowed to love me, unlike many). And all of this without the responsibility, expense, heartache and general hardwork of full time bio kids. Oh.... and I managed to skip the sleepless nights/crappy nappy part as well.

Result!

A grand (free) day out

2009-10-26T16:31:33Z

IT'S great being able to spend some time with the kids over the half term holidays. Only problem is...the cost!

It's probably just me, but kids today don't seem content with sitting and reading, drawing or baking like I did when I was a kid...back in the dark ages! They always want to be DOING something, which obviously costs.

Thank goodness for The Herbert Art Gallery and Museum and for the amazing free exhibitions that they host.

Today is the first day of the October half term holiday and my middle son has been practically bursting to go and see the new exhibition at The Herbert featuring Wallace and Gromit. Come on...who doesn't love Wallace and Gromit?

Called 'Animated Adventures featuring Wallace and Gromit' the exhibition focuses on storytelling and stop motion animation. Inside were lots of the original sets featured in the Wallace and Gromit films along with examples of storyboarding and cartooning.

But the exhibition wasn't just 'look but don't touch', there was plenty of opportunity for the kids to be 'hands on'. My son's favourite part was when he got to try stop motion animation for real.

I can see how this exhibition would inspire kids to go home, get the old hand held cameras out and have a go at animating their own stories.

The Herbert was teeming with school kids engrossed in drawing, painting, animating and generally enjoying themselves... and all this for free. Apart from the tenner spent in the coffee shop and a whole £1.50 on car parking we had a cheap, educational and fun-filled day.

Animated Adventures featuring Wallace and Gromit runs until 17th January 2010

What Halloween means to me

2009-10-23T12:05:31Z

I KNOW this will probably sounds like a weird thing to say but Halloween has a special meaning for me.

Eight years ago on October 31 I gave birth to my middle son.

He had been due on October 26 and as my eldest had been early, I assumed that he would be the same. As the days went on I clearly remember making stupid jokes about him being a vampire or worse, as well as saying on at least more than one occasion that I would be absolutely horrified if I gave birth on Halloween.

Well, you know what they say....'What you think about is what you get!'

I went into labour at around 3pm on 30th October confident that I would have a new baby way before the stroke of midnight.

I couldn't have been more wrong! I was sent back home and that's where I stayed until 3am the next morning at which point there was no going back. I was having a Halloween baby whether I liked it or not.

Back to hospital I went and 3 hours later I found myself lying on a labour ward bed in Walsgrave Maternity Unit. As I tried my hardest to pull the midwife's arm out of her socket, I looked out of the window to see a huge full moon.

Oh no!! As if having a Halloween baby wasn't bad enough, there was a great big full moon...was he about to emerge howling!

A couple of pushes later and my little boy was born. It was a huge relief to see that he wasn't a werewolf!

Every birthday since, middle son has had a Halloween party and this year will be no different. Half a dozen 8 year olds will be descending on us this year dressed as skeletons, zombies or Count Dracula. I'll drag out the decorations, fill up a huge bowl with sweets and three exhausting hours later the little monsters will leave happy if not a little hyper active!!

I love halloween!!

Dolls have 'issues' too

2009-10-22T14:44:52Z

MATTEL, the toy-maker, has come up with another genius marketing idea.

Its new product, the $95 'American Girl' doll is supposedly taking the temperature of US society - by being homeless. I have no words...

Ok then, maybe a few...

Gwen lives in a shleter with her family and the literature accompanying the doll explains that the bank foreclosed on her house, her father left and she had to sleep in the car with her mother before being taken in at a shelter.

I'm all for raising awareness with kids that there are others not as fortunate as ourselves but I've got to ask, is the way to do it with a $95 doll???

Keeping fit while keeping baby happy

2009-10-20T13:31:03Z

US women do tend to put a bit of pressure on ourselves to get back into shape quickly after having our babies.

Mind you, it doesn't help seeing celebrities back into size 8 dresses mere minutes after giving birth. I mean take Tess Daly, have you seen her on Strictly Come Dancing? Her newborn can't be any more than a couple of months old and yet she looks amazing!!

It's all very commendable but what about us 'normal' non-celebrity mums who can't afford nannies, dieticians or personal trainers, not that I'm saying Tess has any of these, but surely she must have a had a little help.

After the birth of each of my three boys, it took me a good 12 months to lose all the baby weight, something I did with a combination of diet and exercise.

I've always kept fit, either at a gym or out road running. Don't get me wrong, I don't do a huge amount, just enough to be able to have a treat each day and not feel guilty.

My biggest challenge was working fitness around the kids. True, the very fact that you have kids and have to run around after them is sometimes enough to keep you fit, but what if you want a bit more than that?

In April this year I ran the London Marathon, quite a feat as it took me a guelling six hours. It's wasn't just the taking part though, It was the training leading up to it that proved most difficult as you can't just 'nip' out for a quick run while Marathon training. I used to go out for four or more hours at a time on Sundays and have to leave poor old hubby at home with the whole brood. Getting back, exhausted and ready to flop, only to find kids are still in P.J's and last nights washing up still hadn't been done was almost too much to bear.

Once the Marathon was over, I vowed to continue with my healthy lifestyle, but tone down the amount of training. I began to consider how I could do a resonable amount of excercise while working it around the family routine.

It was around this time that a friend of mine introduced me to the Xcel centre in Canley, a new leisure centre she had been visiting with her young daughter.

I decided to try it out and took youngest for a swim in the new 'State of the Art' pool.'State of the Art' because the floor of the pool can be adjusted to accomodate swimmers of different abilities. Amazing!!

After our swim, I had a wander around the gym, outdoor courts, creche and of course the coffee shop. I was really impressed and even more so when I found out that it would cost only £20 per month for me to be a member!! This was at a reduced price due to me having a passport to leisure.

I wasted no time in joining, and was given a pack to read through. It was only when I got home that I realised the creche is free to members and Mon-Fri they offer members a free breakfast!!

I now run twice a week while youngest is in the creche and get up early to swim three times a week. I can easily work my fitness routine around the family and youngest loves playing while mummy gets fit.

New kid on the block

2009-10-19T12:43:45Z

I'M the other new kid on the block...stepping into Tara's well worn shoes.

My name is Andrea and I'm proud to be a local lass. Aside from a brief stint in London, following my dreams to be a fashion designer, I've lived in Coventry for most of my 'soon to be 40' years.

I live with my other half and my three boys aged 13, 7 and 2. Every other weekend I get some light relief from the men in the house when my 7 year old step-daughter comes to stay. We bond through mutual hair brushing and a love of High School Musical.

In 2007, I left my job as a lecturer to become a 'work from home mum' and I now earn my living running a small business and writing reviews for my other blog.

When I'm not being a businessmum and a blogger, I spend my time baking, watching films, running, swimming and knitting. I have tried doing them all at the same time but the wool goes soggy!

Through this blog I'll be telling you more about my 'pick 'n' mix' family as well as visiting and reviewing local child friendly places. Sounds like a great excuse to go out for as much coffee and cake as I can handle!!

Why women need men - part 1 of 1

2009-10-18T20:21:01Z

APPARENTLY, Dads attending the birth of their children can cause marriage break-up or even mental illness, according to leading childbirth expert, Michel Odent.

Who is a man.

Now he suggests that the mothers-imminently-to-be will be worried about how the men are feeling, making labour even more painful and stressful. Read all about it here.

That's as may be, M. Odent but let me ask you this: When we're told to take a deep, cleansing breath just once too often, who else are we going to punch?

A year too long with baby?

2009-10-15T14:18:21Z

TAKING a whole year's maternity leave is too long, according to one high-flying city financier today . Nichola Pease is deputy chairman of JO Hamro Capital Management. She told a Commons hearing on sexism that women missed out because the rules put in place to protect them were preventing them from getting to the top.

Anecdotally, I've spoken to lots of women who were determined to take the full year, regardless of the job they were in but what about you? Did you take your full allowance or was your maternity leave starting to get on your nerves after a while?

In the US, land of the two-week holiday allowance, maternity leave is a maximum of 12 weeks and of course in many developing nations it's totally unheard of. Should women have such a long time off? If you take the Government's advice to breastfeed for a full 12 months, is that even compatible with working life? I used to jobshare with another woman who had just had a baby and I could never get over the shock of seeing her breast pump in the bottom of my desk drawer!

Introducing the new girl

2009-10-14T10:19:24Z

THIS feels very much like the first day at a new school. I'm Mosey Jones and I'm the new girl in the class.

Everyone knows where to hang their coat, the class guinea pig's name, its favourite food (carrot tops, since you asked) and where the toilets are.

On the other hand I'm wearing a brand new jumper several sizes too big and I've brought the wrong colour socks for PE.

Seriously though, it is a daunting task stepping into such awesome blogging shoes as Tara, your former editrix of all things parentable. I've read through many, many of her posts and she was prolific, entertaining and had a great rapport with you, her readership and co-creators - because a blog is nothing without the comments and suggestions that put the real meat on its bones.

Hopefully I can find you some interesting tidbits, great stories to follow-up with a real mix of soft and serious, funny and sad, frivolous and thought-provoking. I don't doubt that you'll tell me exactly what you think and I say, bring it on! Just, for the time being at least, go easy on the new girl!

Top 10 Facts about the new girl

1. Mum of two boisterous boys, 5 and 2
2. Journalist & Author
3. Scottish but turning more sassenach by the day. I'm even starting to feel the cold for heaven's sake!
4. Internet obsessive
5. A TV binger - watch nothing much for weeks then both seasons of True Blood in a two-day marathon
6. Believes wine is the answer to most problems
7. Uses chocolate to medicate grazed knees and broken hearts alike
8. Can quote most of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by heart
9. Good driver
10. Bad passenger

Awards. And goodbye. And a new project.

2008-11-14T09:25:56Z

Today is my last day at From Dawn Till Rusk.

(And Dave, if you're cheering at the back, so help me I'll hunt you down).

I am leaving the paper for pastures new, but before I go I wanted to thank all the amazing people I've 'met' through writing this blog.

I have read many many many of your blogs. I don't always comment, but I lurk. Regularly.
I have been with you through births, through tragedy, through the election and I have seen the best and the worst of people.

The blogging community is amazing. Really amazing.
I absolutely love the diversity in writing - that to me is the true meaning of blogging. ANYONE can do it. You don't have to be a trained writer, you just have to have heart and have a voice and someone out there will want to listen.

You are ALL contibuting to this massive FREE online library we have at our fingertips.

So as a parting gift today I want to bestow some awards on my favourite bloggers.
In a kind of Oscars stylee.

I ask for nothing in return other than you keep writing.

The following awards go to . . .

FUNNIEST BLOG
Steenky Bee
If you haven't discovered this site then, well what's the matter with you? Do you not read my Blogroll?
Jen is warm, fun and absolutely hilarious. However, be warned, she's a stalker.

BEST COMMENTER
Dave Fowler
Talking of stalkers, he follows me around the blogosphere and hijacks my comments.
He's a total pain in the a** to be truthful, but he's a policeman who gave up his job to bring his four children up and I suppose you've got to respect him for that.
Oh and the fact that he is the wittiest, most engaging commenter out there.
Just beware if he finds his way over on to your blog . . .

BIGGEST HEART
Blogger Dad
He's just the lovliest man. He has the cutest young son, he's a talented cartoonist, a great read and just the nicest person.
How do I know all this? Surely I can't have discovered all of this through a couple of blogs about poo and playing Dungeons & Dragons (I've forgiven him for this, so should you). Well, there is a story to tell. I will reveal all after this award ceremony.

FAVOURITE DAD
Clark Kent's Lunchbox
Ron is a bit of a nerd. Just like me. So he's probably the only person I could say that to and he would take it as a compliment.
I also think he's one awesome dad. He mixes up serious with fun and he's honest, open and a barrel of laughs. And who doesn't want a dad like that?

BEST COMMUNITY BLOG
MomGrind
The comment section on Vered's blog is just amazing and it's something she is rightly very proud of.
Some of the comment sections become almost a post in themselves and readers clealy love being there and taking part. I urge you to join in.

MUM I'D LIKE TO HAVE OVER FOR TEA
Mom/Mum
If she didn't live on the other side of the world I think Mom/Mum and I would be good friends. I think we would be the sort of women other woman look at and get all jealous because they can sit around chatting and doing nothing and still look like they're having the best time.
I got all of that just from reading her blog!

MY LONG LOST SISTER
That Girl @ 39 and Counting
She loves shoes, Grey's Anatomy, Grazia magazine and she's soon to turn 40. I love you That Girl, you're such a girl after my own heart.

PHOTOGRAPHS I'M MOST JEALOUS OF
Momology
Her blogs are mainly photographic based, but she takes the most amazing photographs of her daughter and as her daughter is as spirited and challenging as mine, I've been visiting regularly to see what new creations she comes up with.

HERE COME THE GIRLS
Nappy Valley
A Confused Take That Fan
Potty Diaries
Notes From Inside My Head
Nunhead Mum
This gaggle of British bloggers are so supportive, so welcoming and so much fun that I've been made to feel like one of the girls right from the get go.
They welcomed me in with open arms and I thank each and every one of them for that.
They're like the Sex and the City girls, but without the accents. I'll leave it up to you to guess which one is which!

MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED
Writer Dad
When I said before that you don't have to be a fancy pants writer to blog, here is one that breaks the rules.
Writer Dad is a great writer. His words are warm and uplifting (and he's into films so he can do no wrong in my eyes).
He has a large following now, but he still takes time to 'talk' to everyone who leaves a comment and that is something of a rarity among the bigwigs in some corners of this community.

COOLEST DAD
Heinous@ Irregularly Periodic Ruminations
Great name, great hat and dad to just the sweetest little boy.
Being a film nerd I do tend to judge people on their choice of fav film and he lists Bladerunner, Fight Club and Heathers so upping his Cool Quotient.

BLOG THAT FREAKS ME OUT EVERY TIME I VISIT
Wear Gloves and Protective Eyewear
Malathionman is such a lovey guy who talks honestly about his adopted children that it's hard to believe his profile picture is the sort that can keep you away half the night.
Seriously, go look. It's all kinds of wierd. I bet he's an absolute hunk in real life and he just wants to spare the ladies . . .

FAVOURITE TEACHER
I Need a Martini Mum
If all teachers were as warm and witty and fun as Vodka Mom, no one would ever leave school. In fact, I would go back to school and redo a couple of years.
If you think your children say the funniest things, just wait until you hear what her kindergarten kids come out with.

THE BEST BITCH
Stiletto Mom
If ever I need a boost, a chuckle, a kick in the teeth I go to Texan mum Marie Anne. She pulls no punches, tells it like it is and she is SUCH a child of the 80s. Plus she wrote one of the funniest potty training stories I've ever read.

So there you have it. A big hug and a peck on the cheek to all of you.

And so fare ye well my friends.
If you have enjoyed what you have read up until now, you will be able to find me once again at my new blog Sticky Fingers
If not, then you can find me at Dave Fowler's place . . .

Speaking of which - I know, I know, you're thinking 'and there's more? Sheesh'.

Well I just wanted to tell you about another project I am working on with my really good blogger friends Blogger Dad and Dave Fowler.

We three have a common goal - we want to get fit, shape up and lose the fat.
And we want YOU to join us.

I'm sure there are many many of you out there with similar goals. And, just like anything in life, success tends to come with constant support - and a bunch of people backing you all the way.

So we want to create that community.

Each of us has a different goal and will be sharing our progress.
But crucially, we want you to share yours too.
In return we will offer you support, interesting articles and a lot of heart.

And if you join us and post your Wednesday Weigh In progress on your blog, come on over and leave a message in the comment section and we will link to you on a Friday round up to make sure everyone can come on over and offer their support.

So come on over and visit BlogToFit and join the party.
It officially kicks off on Monday, although there is a welcome page is you fancy popping over for a look.

Wordless Wednesday: School photo. Of me!

2008-11-12T07:31:45Z

Over at Scary Mommy , Jill is having a school photo fest.

She's asking for bloggers to write a post about school photos - be it ones of your children or ones of yourself.
So, this is me around 1978.

And Tim, if you're over here counting how many words are on my WORDLESS Wednesday post, well you're going to be all kinds of disappointed in me!

My son has got to be one of the most photogenic children ever.
In all his nearly six years he has never had a bad photo.
Even when he was one big walking chicken pox he wanted me to take a picture and he looked jovial and well.
When he cracked his little head open on the corner of the hallway wall while trying to beat me to the front door because he liked to greet the postman with a "howdie", even then with a butterfly plaster on his forehead, a giant bruise, hair plastered on his head with sweat and a ghostly palour about him, he still took a great photo.

And yet, for his very first professional photo for his very first year in school, they made him look, well, not like my Dan.
Maybe it was the morgue blue hue of the background, or the fact that the photographer had asked him to say "Simpsons" to the camera. Or maybe it was because the snapper took all of a nano-second to capture my precious boy's first year of school.
Whatever the reason, his very first school photo almost made me want to burst out crying.

Sure we bought one. You have to don't you? But it languishes at the back of a photo album that never sees the light of day.

I'm pretty sure I had a few stinkers through my years of school.
Well, put it this way, there aren't enough in there to match the number of years at school.

But anyway, this one is as I'm drawing to the end of primary school and am just about to launch into the screaming chasm that is senior school.
I would have been about 9 or 10 and the funny thing is, that look of innocent? I never lost it . . .

So, dare you join Scary Mommy's school photo mission?