Coventry Telegraph - From Dawn Till Rusk

Mums just wanna have fun!

2009-11-02T13:38:55Z

AS readers of my other blog, The Accidental Businessmum, will know, I have a bit of an issue going out and leaving the kids with baby sitters.

It's not that I mind leaving them, it's just that I hate having to ask. This has caused no end of problems in my household because unless I can give the sitter at least four weeks notice, I just don't bother going out. This is crazy because I love nothing more than putting on my glad rags and ditching the kids for an evening.

We had one such incident a few weeks ago. My other half and I had been invited, quite by surprise, to the launch party of a new club opening in Stratford upon Avon. The invitation promised champagne, canapes and live music.....how could I resist?

My other half made me call my dad and arrange for him to sit....which wasn't a problem in the slightest. (Why do I worry so much!!)

My next concern was what to wear. I'm nearly 40 for goodness sake!! What do people wear to clubs these days....oh I sound sooooo old!! I dug out an ill fitting Top Shop top (Top Shop's trendy....right?) some black trousers and my super sparkly Paul Smith shoes which I'm very proud of, just a shame no one can see the label! Then, properly attired we set off for the venue, No1 Shakespeare St in Stratford upon Avon.

I have to say I have never, ever gone for a night out in Stratford. Leamington...yes, but Stratford! It feels like a million miles away!! As we arrived at the bar we were shown upstairs to their brand new club, The Chapel.

I made a bee-line for the champers and knocked it back, swiftly followed by another before turning around and taking in my surroundings. It was then that I spied a celebrity...yes...a real live celebrity!! How exciting!!

'Look there's Quentin Wilson'. I nudged my other half.

'Who?'

I then spent the next half hour explaining who he was and then decided it wasn't that exciting after all as I'd already seen him in B&Q a few years earlier.

Pretty soon I was offered some canapes, with black caviar!! That was way more exciting than Mr Wilson..I'd never tasted caviar. I closed my eyes, took a big bite and Mmmmmurgh!! Tasted like sea-water. Nearly as disappointing as my first taste of quails eggs earlier in the year. They tasted like...well....eggs!

More canapes followed, including tiny portions of scampi and chips, fillet of beef in mini filo pastry shells and red caviar on top of chunky chips which was gorgeous, much nicer than black caviar!

Pretty soon the cosmopolitan cocktails were being served and the band started to play.

I'm partial to a bit of live music and the band, to my mind, were fantastic. It's quite a small venue and the trio of musicians including Ben Drummond on bass and Grandmaster Ash on drums, suited it perfectly. They played everything from early Stevie Wonder to Queen.

By the time they had finished I'd drunk a fair amount of champagne and cosmopolitans and my other half decided he should take me home.

Would I go again. Definitely! It's a venue aimed at the over 21's and in future they'll be offering a mix of DJ's, tribute bands and other live music. I can't wait to go again.

I'd better get over my babysitter phobia!!

The Chapel @ No1 Shakespeare St.

Juggle muddle

2009-10-29T08:41:27Z

MULTITASKING has a lot to answer for.

As the kids gambol and frolic in fields and gather mushrooms all day long (OK, as they play more Wii than is good for them and get dragged round 'improving' museum exhibits) during half term, I'm trying to shoehorn in what passes for my working life.

Fortunately I'm a freelance writer so I can do bits here and there on my trusty laptop but it still requires a degree of organisation.

A degree of organisation that I appear not to possess...

We're a bit of a tech family you see. Between us there are three laptops, one desktop, one internet-enabled mobile phone and innumerate mp3 players, portable DVDs etc. We can be hooked up to anything, anywhere in the world at a moment's notice.

Except at my granny's house on half term.

So I leave the kidlets to destroy the fixtures and fittings and their father and decamp to a cafe just outside Edinburgh where I can get some broadband signal on my dongle (I LOVE that word...dongle dongle dongle...yum!).

HUGE latte...check
Netbook charged...check
Mobile charged... check
Brain on...near enough
Stored vitally important document on hard drive of netbook and not on family computer 450 miles away, document that the client needs tomorrow and we're not getting home til sunday....

Ah...

So there I was, congratulating myself on having sorted all the technology we needed, got the children kind of organised, made several deals with the husband about future lie-ins and nights out with the lads if he let me get on with this.

And instead of finishing my vitally important document I'm sitting with my rapidly cooling vat of coffee moaning to you.

Balls.

I can't juggle them either...

Dispelling the 'Wicked Stepmother' myth

2009-10-27T11:31:08Z

REBECCA Lippett from www.labellemereuk.blogspot.com has kindly written the most amazing post about being a stepmother.

As a step-mum myself I can identify with much of what Rebecca has written about. Step-parenting can be emotionally draining for all parties involved and it's not always easy to get the balance right.

Rebecca is a 33 year old wife and part-time stepmother from Bristol. Not only does she blog about stepmother issues and more at www.labellemereuk.blogspot.com but she also writes regularly for StepMom Magazine - to subscribe visit www.stepmommag.com.

When fellow stepmother Andrea Daly asked me to be a guest writer for her I was thrilled and flattered to be asked. When she then requested that I write a piece on being that most mis-understood and mis-maligned breed of parent, the Wicked Stepmother, I practically bit her hand off. a) because I AM a stepmother and b) because I love to grasp any opportunity I can to undo the Wicked Stepmother myth where possible and open people's eyes to the realities of being married to a man with children.

Stepmothers, very often, get a particularly rough deal. Most people are more inclined to feel sympathy toward the heart broken children, the struggling, single biological mother, or the "weekend" dad. It is rare for anyone to feel empathy for the stepmother who is often seen as the "homewrecker" despite her being nothing to do with the breakup of the marriage.

We are the final nail in the coffin of a relationship that others believe may have been salvaged had we not have made an appearance. The cards are stacked against us long before we say "I do". Bear with me whilst I fetch my "Victim" hat, my prozac and some gin, and I'll tell you why we get the crappy end of the stick.

**More than half of all adult women in the U.S. will marry a man with children. The numbers in the UK are not far behind.

**70% of remarriages where both partners have kids, will fail.

**63% of marriages with a childless woman married to a man with children will fail.

**The greatest predictor of divorce is the presence of children from a previous marriage.

**Divorce rates are 50% higher in remarriages with children than in those without.

**Studies show that resentment towards stepmothers is much more intense than negative attitudes towards stepfathers.

**The evil stepmother myth is alive and well in the 21st century.

It's true. Whilst male step-fathers are often viewed by others as heroic, "taking on her kids" and swooping in to save the fair maiden from a life of domestic drudgery and single mother-dom, step-mothers, paradoxically, are seen as someone who rides in on her broomstick and "takes Dad away". We are to be treated with suspicion, hostility and resentment.

It is very, very common for step-children to be jealous of a new stepmother figure. These are children who, not only feel very strong loyalty binds to their mother and anger and sadness about their parents split, but also may be used to having Dad to themselves during weekend visitation. But now, his attention isn't solely on them, they become jealous of her.

They project their anger about their parent's divorce onto the new step-mother as she is the "safer" target, and some even attempt to break up the relationship (a concept LOVED by Hollywood - think "the Parent Trap"). Despite the fact that, as is more often the case, stepmother was nothing to do with the breakup and came along much later on, and may well happen to be a jolly nice person also.

Then what happens is this. Step-mother, all too aware of the Wicked Stepmother stories, and the children's hostility, begins to go to extreme lengths to prove that she is nice and not wicked at all. She will literally bend over backwards to get the children to like her. This can become heartbreaking when, through no fault of her own, she fails, time and time again.

Kiss goodbye to your self-esteem!

But it is not just the children in the situation that can be problematic. Having another woman around her children can be highly traumatic for the biological mother and may bring out the territorial lioness in her as she goes to extreme lengths to remove the threat. After all, she didn't have any say in having this new "mother figure" thrust into their children's lives.

Some mothers may lay down ridiculous rules about stepmothers not being able to be there when the children visit, or kiss and cuddle them. Some even prevent their children from seeing their father all together. (Leading to Parental Alienation Syndrome - but that's a whole other post!) She may also, be very used to still having her ex at her beck and call "for the sake of the kids" resulting in her attempting to compete with stepmum for his attentions and "The No.1 spot".

Other problems a stepmother may face include resentment from her husbands' family. As it is usually the biological mother that has primary custody, often times, the outlaws "side" with the biological mother through fear of losing their grandchild/niece/nephew etc... Again, anger gets projected at the step-mother, who despite not being responsible for the break up, is a "safer" target and made a scapegoat for the changes that have happened.

Another problem can be the children's father himself, who often snatches precious little time with his little dahlings, and feels huge guilt for leaving them. He may spend his whole life trying to make it up to them.

This includes spoiling them, a lack of rules and structure, and not disciplining them when they really deserve to be disciplined. Unfortunately, not only do they grow into some pretty spoilt and obnoxious adults, but it can also make Stepmother's ideas on acceptable behaviour seem very strict.

This does nothing to enhance her popularity, especially if "guilty dad" doesn't back up her attempts to discipline, essentially giving the children carte blanche to ignore and disrespect any of stepmothers expectations.

Of course not all stepmothers experience all of these problems. Some don't experience any. If the bio-mum is reasonable, the children are young and accepting of a new parental figure, dad doesn't have "guilt" issues and the inlaws are non-possessive of the children, then things can be a proverbial bed of roses. I'm pretty lucky in that I have most of these boxes ticked although it hasn't always been that way.

Of course it's rare that all of these requirements are aligned at the same time. If that's you - consider yourself VERY lucky!

But all is not lost. There are pluses to this stepmothering gig. If, like me, you are "child free and loving it" then having step-children can be quite a nice little compromise really. Although you don't get to experience the "joy" of motherhood, and you'll never replace their real mum, you do get to play a big part in shaping who they will eventually become. And the hugs, kisses and "I love you's" that I get from my stepkids make it all worth it (yes, I'm afraid I'm one of the lucky ones!

My stepkids were young when I came on the scene and are allowed to love me, unlike many). And all of this without the responsibility, expense, heartache and general hardwork of full time bio kids. Oh.... and I managed to skip the sleepless nights/crappy nappy part as well.

Result!

A grand (free) day out

2009-10-26T16:31:33Z

IT'S great being able to spend some time with the kids over the half term holidays. Only problem is...the cost!

It's probably just me, but kids today don't seem content with sitting and reading, drawing or baking like I did when I was a kid...back in the dark ages! They always want to be DOING something, which obviously costs.

Thank goodness for The Herbert Art Gallery and Museum and for the amazing free exhibitions that they host.

Today is the first day of the October half term holiday and my middle son has been practically bursting to go and see the new exhibition at The Herbert featuring Wallace and Gromit. Come on...who doesn't love Wallace and Gromit?

Called 'Animated Adventures featuring Wallace and Gromit' the exhibition focuses on storytelling and stop motion animation. Inside were lots of the original sets featured in the Wallace and Gromit films along with examples of storyboarding and cartooning.

But the exhibition wasn't just 'look but don't touch', there was plenty of opportunity for the kids to be 'hands on'. My son's favourite part was when he got to try stop motion animation for real.

I can see how this exhibition would inspire kids to go home, get the old hand held cameras out and have a go at animating their own stories.

The Herbert was teeming with school kids engrossed in drawing, painting, animating and generally enjoying themselves... and all this for free. Apart from the tenner spent in the coffee shop and a whole £1.50 on car parking we had a cheap, educational and fun-filled day.

Animated Adventures featuring Wallace and Gromit runs until 17th January 2010

What Halloween means to me

2009-10-23T12:05:31Z

I KNOW this will probably sounds like a weird thing to say but Halloween has a special meaning for me.

Eight years ago on October 31 I gave birth to my middle son.

He had been due on October 26 and as my eldest had been early, I assumed that he would be the same. As the days went on I clearly remember making stupid jokes about him being a vampire or worse, as well as saying on at least more than one occasion that I would be absolutely horrified if I gave birth on Halloween.

Well, you know what they say....'What you think about is what you get!'

I went into labour at around 3pm on 30th October confident that I would have a new baby way before the stroke of midnight.

I couldn't have been more wrong! I was sent back home and that's where I stayed until 3am the next morning at which point there was no going back. I was having a Halloween baby whether I liked it or not.

Back to hospital I went and 3 hours later I found myself lying on a labour ward bed in Walsgrave Maternity Unit. As I tried my hardest to pull the midwife's arm out of her socket, I looked out of the window to see a huge full moon.

Oh no!! As if having a Halloween baby wasn't bad enough, there was a great big full moon...was he about to emerge howling!

A couple of pushes later and my little boy was born. It was a huge relief to see that he wasn't a werewolf!

Every birthday since, middle son has had a Halloween party and this year will be no different. Half a dozen 8 year olds will be descending on us this year dressed as skeletons, zombies or Count Dracula. I'll drag out the decorations, fill up a huge bowl with sweets and three exhausting hours later the little monsters will leave happy if not a little hyper active!!

I love halloween!!

Dolls have 'issues' too

2009-10-22T14:44:52Z

MATTEL, the toy-maker, has come up with another genius marketing idea.

Its new product, the $95 'American Girl' doll is supposedly taking the temperature of US society - by being homeless. I have no words...

Ok then, maybe a few...

Gwen lives in a shleter with her family and the literature accompanying the doll explains that the bank foreclosed on her house, her father left and she had to sleep in the car with her mother before being taken in at a shelter.

I'm all for raising awareness with kids that there are others not as fortunate as ourselves but I've got to ask, is the way to do it with a $95 doll???

Keeping fit while keeping baby happy

2009-10-20T13:31:03Z

US women do tend to put a bit of pressure on ourselves to get back into shape quickly after having our babies.

Mind you, it doesn't help seeing celebrities back into size 8 dresses mere minutes after giving birth. I mean take Tess Daly, have you seen her on Strictly Come Dancing? Her newborn can't be any more than a couple of months old and yet she looks amazing!!

It's all very commendable but what about us 'normal' non-celebrity mums who can't afford nannies, dieticians or personal trainers, not that I'm saying Tess has any of these, but surely she must have a had a little help.

After the birth of each of my three boys, it took me a good 12 months to lose all the baby weight, something I did with a combination of diet and exercise.

I've always kept fit, either at a gym or out road running. Don't get me wrong, I don't do a huge amount, just enough to be able to have a treat each day and not feel guilty.

My biggest challenge was working fitness around the kids. True, the very fact that you have kids and have to run around after them is sometimes enough to keep you fit, but what if you want a bit more than that?

In April this year I ran the London Marathon, quite a feat as it took me a guelling six hours. It's wasn't just the taking part though, It was the training leading up to it that proved most difficult as you can't just 'nip' out for a quick run while Marathon training. I used to go out for four or more hours at a time on Sundays and have to leave poor old hubby at home with the whole brood. Getting back, exhausted and ready to flop, only to find kids are still in P.J's and last nights washing up still hadn't been done was almost too much to bear.

Once the Marathon was over, I vowed to continue with my healthy lifestyle, but tone down the amount of training. I began to consider how I could do a resonable amount of excercise while working it around the family routine.

It was around this time that a friend of mine introduced me to the Xcel centre in Canley, a new leisure centre she had been visiting with her young daughter.

I decided to try it out and took youngest for a swim in the new 'State of the Art' pool.'State of the Art' because the floor of the pool can be adjusted to accomodate swimmers of different abilities. Amazing!!

After our swim, I had a wander around the gym, outdoor courts, creche and of course the coffee shop. I was really impressed and even more so when I found out that it would cost only £20 per month for me to be a member!! This was at a reduced price due to me having a passport to leisure.

I wasted no time in joining, and was given a pack to read through. It was only when I got home that I realised the creche is free to members and Mon-Fri they offer members a free breakfast!!

I now run twice a week while youngest is in the creche and get up early to swim three times a week. I can easily work my fitness routine around the family and youngest loves playing while mummy gets fit.

New kid on the block

2009-10-19T12:43:45Z

I'M the other new kid on the block...stepping into Tara's well worn shoes.

My name is Andrea and I'm proud to be a local lass. Aside from a brief stint in London, following my dreams to be a fashion designer, I've lived in Coventry for most of my 'soon to be 40' years.

I live with my other half and my three boys aged 13, 7 and 2. Every other weekend I get some light relief from the men in the house when my 7 year old step-daughter comes to stay. We bond through mutual hair brushing and a love of High School Musical.

In 2007, I left my job as a lecturer to become a 'work from home mum' and I now earn my living running a small business and writing reviews for my other blog.

When I'm not being a businessmum and a blogger, I spend my time baking, watching films, running, swimming and knitting. I have tried doing them all at the same time but the wool goes soggy!

Through this blog I'll be telling you more about my 'pick 'n' mix' family as well as visiting and reviewing local child friendly places. Sounds like a great excuse to go out for as much coffee and cake as I can handle!!

Why women need men - part 1 of 1

2009-10-18T20:21:01Z

APPARENTLY, Dads attending the birth of their children can cause marriage break-up or even mental illness, according to leading childbirth expert, Michel Odent.

Who is a man.

Now he suggests that the mothers-imminently-to-be will be worried about how the men are feeling, making labour even more painful and stressful. Read all about it here.

That's as may be, M. Odent but let me ask you this: When we're told to take a deep, cleansing breath just once too often, who else are we going to punch?

A year too long with baby?

2009-10-15T14:18:21Z

TAKING a whole year's maternity leave is too long, according to one high-flying city financier today . Nichola Pease is deputy chairman of JO Hamro Capital Management. She told a Commons hearing on sexism that women missed out because the rules put in place to protect them were preventing them from getting to the top.

Anecdotally, I've spoken to lots of women who were determined to take the full year, regardless of the job they were in but what about you? Did you take your full allowance or was your maternity leave starting to get on your nerves after a while?

In the US, land of the two-week holiday allowance, maternity leave is a maximum of 12 weeks and of course in many developing nations it's totally unheard of. Should women have such a long time off? If you take the Government's advice to breastfeed for a full 12 months, is that even compatible with working life? I used to jobshare with another woman who had just had a baby and I could never get over the shock of seeing her breast pump in the bottom of my desk drawer!

Introducing the new girl

2009-10-14T10:19:24Z

THIS feels very much like the first day at a new school. I'm Mosey Jones and I'm the new girl in the class.

Everyone knows where to hang their coat, the class guinea pig's name, its favourite food (carrot tops, since you asked) and where the toilets are.

On the other hand I'm wearing a brand new jumper several sizes too big and I've brought the wrong colour socks for PE.

Seriously though, it is a daunting task stepping into such awesome blogging shoes as Tara, your former editrix of all things parentable. I've read through many, many of her posts and she was prolific, entertaining and had a great rapport with you, her readership and co-creators - because a blog is nothing without the comments and suggestions that put the real meat on its bones.

Hopefully I can find you some interesting tidbits, great stories to follow-up with a real mix of soft and serious, funny and sad, frivolous and thought-provoking. I don't doubt that you'll tell me exactly what you think and I say, bring it on! Just, for the time being at least, go easy on the new girl!

Top 10 Facts about the new girl

1. Mum of two boisterous boys, 5 and 2
2. Journalist & Author
3. Scottish but turning more sassenach by the day. I'm even starting to feel the cold for heaven's sake!
4. Internet obsessive
5. A TV binger - watch nothing much for weeks then both seasons of True Blood in a two-day marathon
6. Believes wine is the answer to most problems
7. Uses chocolate to medicate grazed knees and broken hearts alike
8. Can quote most of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by heart
9. Good driver
10. Bad passenger

Awards. And goodbye. And a new project.

2008-11-14T09:25:56Z

Today is my last day at From Dawn Till Rusk.

(And Dave, if you're cheering at the back, so help me I'll hunt you down).

I am leaving the paper for pastures new, but before I go I wanted to thank all the amazing people I've 'met' through writing this blog.

I have read many many many of your blogs. I don't always comment, but I lurk. Regularly.
I have been with you through births, through tragedy, through the election and I have seen the best and the worst of people.

The blogging community is amazing. Really amazing.
I absolutely love the diversity in writing - that to me is the true meaning of blogging. ANYONE can do it. You don't have to be a trained writer, you just have to have heart and have a voice and someone out there will want to listen.

You are ALL contibuting to this massive FREE online library we have at our fingertips.

So as a parting gift today I want to bestow some awards on my favourite bloggers.
In a kind of Oscars stylee.

I ask for nothing in return other than you keep writing.

The following awards go to . . .

FUNNIEST BLOG
Steenky Bee
If you haven't discovered this site then, well what's the matter with you? Do you not read my Blogroll?
Jen is warm, fun and absolutely hilarious. However, be warned, she's a stalker.

BEST COMMENTER
Dave Fowler
Talking of stalkers, he follows me around the blogosphere and hijacks my comments.
He's a total pain in the a** to be truthful, but he's a policeman who gave up his job to bring his four children up and I suppose you've got to respect him for that.
Oh and the fact that he is the wittiest, most engaging commenter out there.
Just beware if he finds his way over on to your blog . . .

BIGGEST HEART
Blogger Dad
He's just the lovliest man. He has the cutest young son, he's a talented cartoonist, a great read and just the nicest person.
How do I know all this? Surely I can't have discovered all of this through a couple of blogs about poo and playing Dungeons & Dragons (I've forgiven him for this, so should you). Well, there is a story to tell. I will reveal all after this award ceremony.

FAVOURITE DAD
Clark Kent's Lunchbox
Ron is a bit of a nerd. Just like me. So he's probably the only person I could say that to and he would take it as a compliment.
I also think he's one awesome dad. He mixes up serious with fun and he's honest, open and a barrel of laughs. And who doesn't want a dad like that?

BEST COMMUNITY BLOG
MomGrind
The comment section on Vered's blog is just amazing and it's something she is rightly very proud of.
Some of the comment sections become almost a post in themselves and readers clealy love being there and taking part. I urge you to join in.

MUM I'D LIKE TO HAVE OVER FOR TEA
Mom/Mum
If she didn't live on the other side of the world I think Mom/Mum and I would be good friends. I think we would be the sort of women other woman look at and get all jealous because they can sit around chatting and doing nothing and still look like they're having the best time.
I got all of that just from reading her blog!

MY LONG LOST SISTER
That Girl @ 39 and Counting
She loves shoes, Grey's Anatomy, Grazia magazine and she's soon to turn 40. I love you That Girl, you're such a girl after my own heart.

PHOTOGRAPHS I'M MOST JEALOUS OF
Momology
Her blogs are mainly photographic based, but she takes the most amazing photographs of her daughter and as her daughter is as spirited and challenging as mine, I've been visiting regularly to see what new creations she comes up with.

HERE COME THE GIRLS
Nappy Valley
A Confused Take That Fan
Potty Diaries
Notes From Inside My Head
Nunhead Mum
This gaggle of British bloggers are so supportive, so welcoming and so much fun that I've been made to feel like one of the girls right from the get go.
They welcomed me in with open arms and I thank each and every one of them for that.
They're like the Sex and the City girls, but without the accents. I'll leave it up to you to guess which one is which!

MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED
Writer Dad
When I said before that you don't have to be a fancy pants writer to blog, here is one that breaks the rules.
Writer Dad is a great writer. His words are warm and uplifting (and he's into films so he can do no wrong in my eyes).
He has a large following now, but he still takes time to 'talk' to everyone who leaves a comment and that is something of a rarity among the bigwigs in some corners of this community.

COOLEST DAD
Heinous@ Irregularly Periodic Ruminations
Great name, great hat and dad to just the sweetest little boy.
Being a film nerd I do tend to judge people on their choice of fav film and he lists Bladerunner, Fight Club and Heathers so upping his Cool Quotient.

BLOG THAT FREAKS ME OUT EVERY TIME I VISIT
Wear Gloves and Protective Eyewear
Malathionman is such a lovey guy who talks honestly about his adopted children that it's hard to believe his profile picture is the sort that can keep you away half the night.
Seriously, go look. It's all kinds of wierd. I bet he's an absolute hunk in real life and he just wants to spare the ladies . . .

FAVOURITE TEACHER
I Need a Martini Mum
If all teachers were as warm and witty and fun as Vodka Mom, no one would ever leave school. In fact, I would go back to school and redo a couple of years.
If you think your children say the funniest things, just wait until you hear what her kindergarten kids come out with.

THE BEST BITCH
Stiletto Mom
If ever I need a boost, a chuckle, a kick in the teeth I go to Texan mum Marie Anne. She pulls no punches, tells it like it is and she is SUCH a child of the 80s. Plus she wrote one of the funniest potty training stories I've ever read.

So there you have it. A big hug and a peck on the cheek to all of you.

And so fare ye well my friends.
If you have enjoyed what you have read up until now, you will be able to find me once again at my new blog Sticky Fingers
If not, then you can find me at Dave Fowler's place . . .

Speaking of which - I know, I know, you're thinking 'and there's more? Sheesh'.

Well I just wanted to tell you about another project I am working on with my really good blogger friends Blogger Dad and Dave Fowler.

We three have a common goal - we want to get fit, shape up and lose the fat.
And we want YOU to join us.

I'm sure there are many many of you out there with similar goals. And, just like anything in life, success tends to come with constant support - and a bunch of people backing you all the way.

So we want to create that community.

Each of us has a different goal and will be sharing our progress.
But crucially, we want you to share yours too.
In return we will offer you support, interesting articles and a lot of heart.

And if you join us and post your Wednesday Weigh In progress on your blog, come on over and leave a message in the comment section and we will link to you on a Friday round up to make sure everyone can come on over and offer their support.

So come on over and visit BlogToFit and join the party.
It officially kicks off on Monday, although there is a welcome page is you fancy popping over for a look.

Wordless Wednesday: School photo. Of me!

2008-11-12T07:31:45Z

Over at Scary Mommy , Jill is having a school photo fest.

She's asking for bloggers to write a post about school photos - be it ones of your children or ones of yourself.
So, this is me around 1978.

And Tim, if you're over here counting how many words are on my WORDLESS Wednesday post, well you're going to be all kinds of disappointed in me!

My son has got to be one of the most photogenic children ever.
In all his nearly six years he has never had a bad photo.
Even when he was one big walking chicken pox he wanted me to take a picture and he looked jovial and well.
When he cracked his little head open on the corner of the hallway wall while trying to beat me to the front door because he liked to greet the postman with a "howdie", even then with a butterfly plaster on his forehead, a giant bruise, hair plastered on his head with sweat and a ghostly palour about him, he still took a great photo.

And yet, for his very first professional photo for his very first year in school, they made him look, well, not like my Dan.
Maybe it was the morgue blue hue of the background, or the fact that the photographer had asked him to say "Simpsons" to the camera. Or maybe it was because the snapper took all of a nano-second to capture my precious boy's first year of school.
Whatever the reason, his very first school photo almost made me want to burst out crying.

Sure we bought one. You have to don't you? But it languishes at the back of a photo album that never sees the light of day.

I'm pretty sure I had a few stinkers through my years of school.
Well, put it this way, there aren't enough in there to match the number of years at school.

But anyway, this one is as I'm drawing to the end of primary school and am just about to launch into the screaming chasm that is senior school.
I would have been about 9 or 10 and the funny thing is, that look of innocent? I never lost it . . .

So, dare you join Scary Mommy's school photo mission?

The business of blogging: Book deals? What a load of rubbish!

2008-11-10T07:31:38Z

Who hasn't gone about the business of writing their blog with dreams of being 'discovered' and securing that golden ticket of a book deal?

It's the big kahuna for many bloggers. The Lottery win. The icing on the cake.

And in the short time I've been blogging, I've stumbled on a few who have had that stardust sprinkled over them - British blogging mum Elsie Button at Flower Fairies and Fairy Cakes for one. And she's only been blogging since May 2007.

So for this week's addition to the Business of Blogging feature I bring you another blogger who has had their life changed by that call from a publishing house.

Karen Cannard lives in Bury St Edmunds, England, with her husband and two young children. She has two blogs 21st Century Mummy and The Rubbish Diet.
Her book The Rubbish Diet: Achieve zero waste in 8 weeks, will be published by Ebury's Vermilion imprint in 2009.

And she's prepared to dish the dirt, so to speak!

From a Rubbish Blog to a Rubbish Book: Achieve zero waste in 8 weeks and a book deal a few months later.

"Ping" went the sound of my computer as a new email dropped into my inbox.

I opened the message, took a deep breath and let out the most excitable squeal. A friend was with me at the time, Rachel, a former radio presenter who was helping me prepare for a forthcoming live interview. She read the email, gave me a huge hug and we both jumped up and down in excitement.

My ordinary life was suddenly becoming very extraordinary.

Firstly it's not every day you find yourself doing media training.
And then it's not every day you get an email from a publisher asking if you'd like to turn your blog into a book.
What an opportunity!

When I set upThe Rubbish Diet blog in January, I was a regular blogger with too much rubbish on my hands.
I'd signed up for the council's Zero Waste Week challenge and they wanted to feature me in a local magazine as their community champion.
The blog was purely my reaction to going public. If local folk would know what I was up to, I needed to do it properly and I needed help.

After 7 weeks of blogging about ways to reduce my rubbish, avoid packaging and recycle more, I was ready for the council's Zero Waste week where for seven days in March I had to attempt to create no rubbish that couldn't be recycled or composted.

Given the amount of rubbish we used to throw away, filling up our wheelie bin every two weeks, it was hard to believe that we could go for one whole week, creating no rubbish at all. But, it was true. At the end of the week, all we threw out was a plaster.

Just one single plaster, from a finger cut on day one!

The story even made it onto national radio that week, with a pre-recorded column on BBC Radio 4's Woman's Hour, broadcasting my dulcet tones each day.

And every stage was blogged about, including the Woman's Hour experience, the radio interviews and the day the BBC arrived in my garden. Then there was the serious TV interview in landfill.
It was April Fools Day and like a bizarre Bridget Jones moment, I half-expected the reporter to shout "April Fool" and send me packing in my bright pink wellies.

The brief flirtations with local and national media were just a small part of a story which took a humorous look at a very serious subject. Being relatively unaware of the effects of waste before I started, blogging about the challenge helped to raise my knowledge of the effect of landfill on the environment and gave me an understanding of the pressures on government and local councils to reduce the amount of stuff that gets buried in the ground.
I soon realised that my actions at home had a wider impact.

But The Rubbish Diet experience hasn't been just about rubbish and recycling. The blog has also charted a fun lifestyle makeover, involving shopping differently, spending less and cooking more. It really brought home the idea that even in our over-packaged world, households still have a great deal of choice over the amount of rubbish wecreate. And it really is a case of where there's a will there's a way.

When the email came from Ebury, my blog was only 12 weeks old. It's now been going for 10 months. And every time I recall that particular moment in April, I can't help but feel the exhilaration rushing back again and I have to stop and pinch myself.
I also feel very lucky. I've always dreamt about writing a book, but was always too busy or lacking in confidence to send off the necessary chapters to publishers or agents. So I blogged instead.

And who would have guessed where the blog could lead?

As a novice author, I am blessed to be working with a fantastic and experienced editor, who has gently guided me through the process of publishing. At first, it can be a hard pill to swallow when chunks of text are edited or deleted, especially when you're used to independently pressing the publish button on a blog.

But with the hard work comes the wonderful light-bulb moments, which send me dashing home to the computer with heaps of enthusiasm after dropping the kids off at school. And when I get my "stuck" days, I just take the laptop into town and pitch up in a café for a kick-start.

I know I'm one of the lucky ones but my top tips to other bloggers with publishing aspirations are to focus on original material, keep it targeted and ensure you blog regularly.
And don't forget to include your contact details in an obvious place on your blog.

Once you have sufficient content, pull together sample chapters and send to appropriate agents.
In the meantime, contact relevant journalists to raise the profile of your work and hopefully somewhere you'll make it in print. And the number of column inches isn't important. My commissioning editor had seen The Rubbish Diet mentioned in a weekend supplement of The Times, in a very small column, about 40 words in length, next to news about Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall.

So, 10 months ago I was a blogger with a couple of anonymous blogs to my name. Now, I spend my days working on my book, which will be published next summer.
I still keep The Rubbish Diet blog up-to-date with my regular musings. It doesn't just support the book, it supports my curiosity, my sanity and my playful nature and also offers a window onto a wonderland of opportunity.

And these days, it now takes a whole month to fill up our kitchen bin and that's to fill a single carrier bag. As for the wheelie bin, we haven't had to put it out for three months. I can see at this rate, it could even last beyond Christmas.

Well I did say my life had become extraordinary, didn't I?
It's just a good job I'm still normal underneath!

The truth, the whole truth, about home birth. And poo.

2008-11-06T12:00:56Z

* EDIT UPDATE: Thanks everyone for being so patient.
The system is out of its sulk now and is letting you comment.
Please please show guest blogger Sparx your support and give her some love - she's been sat patiently for this blog to drag itself out of the dark ages and now it's her turn to shine!

IT seems that even childbirth is something which can be influenced by celebrity.

Apparently stars such as Charlotte Church, Thandie Newton and Davina McCall are leading the charge to make home births 'trendy' and figures for the number of women shunning their local hospital for their own living room has soared.

Gone are the days when the A-listers were considered 'too posh to push'.
Now it seems they are fighting over the birthing pools and lining up to give birth at home.

But what is it really like? And can you ever look at your front room in the same light again?

Today guest blogger Sparx, from Notes From Inside My Head, reveals all.
She gave birth in her living room 2 years ago AND BLOGGED ALL THROUGH HER CONTRACTIONS!
I mean, that's blogging dedication for you.
She was also one of those really annoying women who popped her baby out in a matter of hours (but don't hold that against her) - and then, you guessed it, blogged about it again.

I remember the exact moment the consultant at the hospital asked us if we had considered having a home birth.
It's hard to forget really as it was rather a defining moment.

I'd like to think that I immediately weighed the pros and cons and came out with some considered questions, but given that I was 6 months pregnant at the time I imagine the reality involved some fish-like gulping following by some stammering and perhaps a bit of heartburn.

My experience of talking through the concept of home births with people is that one is either really keen right away or really horrified.
My husband (The Frog) and I, it appears, are in the former campas we pretty much walked out of that room convinced it was a Good Idea while the doctor smiled and nodded and gleefully put another notch in her stethoscope behind our backs.

To be fair, we did go on to do some research. I think.
I suspect it was my other half who beetled away looking at the pros and cons while I ordered a copy of Ina May Gaskin's Spiritual Midwifery and read it agog, not only at the hippy-esque prose, but at the sheer believability that I could actually do this mad thing.
Meanwhile, back in the 21st century The Frog printed out some encouraging figures. Apparently, in general, women who plan to give birth at home have easier labours, fewer interventions, a lower rate of maternal and infant mortality, no exposure to hospital viruses and overall, less 'perceived pain' .

How on earth they measure that last one I have no idea ...
"How much pain are you perceiving right now?"
"BUGGER OFF!"

Going to the ante-natal classes and getting a look at the size of the epidural needle just cemented it for me, so we settled in for the wait.

In some way, planning for a home birth is like planning the nursery - it's all very, very abstract.
You shop for lovely things, you buy them, you put them away, you go for antenatal appointments, you get your toenails done...
Having a baby? Me? La la la I can't hear you!
You look for birth pools, you make a mixed CD of relaxing music, you cover yourself in bio-oil and then ... then the midwives bring the Box Under the Stairs.

I'm sure that's not what it's called. It's a supplies box to supplement the luggage they bring with them on the day and they drop it off a couple of weeks before one's due date.

I put mine under the stairs and swore I wouldn't open it. For about five minutes.
Opening that box suddenly made the whole 'I'm having a baby at home' thing go from being some sort of Champagne lie-in to being potentially really me, in my living room (which is right there, by the way), pushing out an actual baby just like in ER but without the doctors.

When I look back on the day of the birth, it's sort of swathed in a rosy glow. I have a few mental snapshots of me rocking on my hands and knees and bellowing like a butchered steer and an image of The Frog like the Sorceror's Apprentice, carting endless buckets of warm water to the birth pool.

For the most part however, all I remember is the bit at the end, the bit where my son was planted on my chest and everything changed.
In general, genetics saw me through - a birth so fast I didn't get to ask for the gas and air I'd been looking forward to for weeks, no complications and, crucially, no poo in the pool.

I think I spent more time worrying about pooing in the pool than I did worrying about actually having a baby. The pool, it has to be said, was amazing.

The Frog was great; getting up at 5am to inflate the pool and spread plastic around the joint, making tea for the midwives, rubbing my back - I only had to call him a bastard the one time. Well, he was reading the paper in bed. The sod.

After all the mucky bits were over, the midwives ran me a bath in my own tub and helped me into it with a cup of tea. I lay there feeling absolutely blissful, drugged up on a cocktail of my own serotonins and smugness at finally, not being pregnant.
Afterwards, they put us to bed, me in my own bed and Charlie in his Moses basket close by and I think that may have been one of the nicest moments of my life.
Or perhaps it was the champagne.

We were really lucky that it all went according to plan - and I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Forget the facts and figures, forget being ahead of the trend, just think about the opportunity to be able to sit on your own sofa with a glass of champagne and a smile a few hours after you've had your baby.
No hospitals, no needles, no lying around hoping someone is going to offer you something to drink or a trip to the loo - just all the comforts of home.

And, the opportunities to watch your guests inhale their biscuits in shock as you tell them that your baby was born just about where their cup of tea is sitting.