Coventry Telegraph - Bloggy Oggy Oggy

Here Comes the Summer...triffic

Thu, 08 May 2008 18:59:55 +0000

(Cue the slowly speaking woman with the sexy voice and the slide trombone) Beaded bubbles blinking on the brim of a tall glass of iced Pimm's sweetened with a dash of lemonade, sprinkled with a slice of zesty lemon peel. Juicy red strawberries topped with a dollop of thick Cornish cream and a dusting of finely grained caster sugar. This isn't just summer, this is .......

Oh sorry, don't know what came over me their. Hands up who hates the Summer with it's gentrified, lightweight sports. Cricket, tennis, golf.....give me strength! Cricket, blokes in pyjamas waving a piece of wood about; Golf, blokes smacking a ball as hard as they can then walking after it. Tennis, women grunting a lot. I suppose all the courts at the Memorial Park will be filled for a fortnight again by fat, forty year old Federer's. Pathetic. Bit of rain and they all dash for the club house.

God; long, hot Saturday's with nothing to do but broil in your own juices, take the kids to the park or drag the lawn mower out of the shed and give the garden a short back and sides. Theirs always DIY I suppose, but then theirs always DIY.

Run Forrest Run!

Wed, 07 May 2008 09:11:34 +0000

I learned with more than a tinge of sadness that Darren Huckerby had been released by Norwich City. I caught The "Huckster" now in his early thirties being interviewed on Sky sporting his trademark look of permanent surprise - you know the one, the one he pulled every time the offside flag went up "What me?" - As he revealed that he would be looking for pastures new next season.

I remember the day I heard he'd been sold to a resurgent Leeds United for four million pounds, money used to finance the Robbie Keane deal - I always said we should have sold Noel Whelan back to them instead - and I nearly crashed my car in shock. I think we were the perfect club for someone like Huckerby, the expectation at clubs such as Newcastle, Leeds and Manchester City seemed to be a burden on the shoulders of a lad who - lets be honest - could best be described as uncomplicated, not that he ever purported to be anything else.

That was the season that was 2007/08

Mon, 05 May 2008 00:28:02 +0000

Ah, the sky blue rollercoaster, I loathe this pathetic fairground analogy. Rollercoaster's are meant to be fun, this isn't fun. Our rollercoaster reminds me of a scene from the film The Matrix; Hugo Weaving has Keanu Reeves in a headlock on the tracks of a subway station. Yanking back his head Weaving shows Keanu Reeve's character the subway train barrelling down on him its horn blaring, lights flashing, then utters the immortal line;

"Do your hear that Mr Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability"

Keanu Reeves is every Coventry City fan that has ever been misguided enough to give a fig for this club, trapped in the headlights as another season of raging disappointment - roughly the dimensions of a freight train - hurtles toward us. Train wreck FC, that's us.

God, how I wish it could be different. Keanu Reeves escapes to save the world and capture Carrie Anne Moss's affections. Why can't it be like that for us? Why can't we win Carrie Anne Moss in those leather trousers for once? Just once. JUST FLAMIN' ONCE!

Mr Blobby's on the pitch, they think it's all over......it nearly was.

Mon, 05 May 2008 00:22:32 +0000

My minute by minute account of squeaky bum Sunday;

10:00 -12:00 - Watch the build up on Sky. Various interviews with players, managers, chairmen, supporters, we hardly get a mention. I take this as a good sign. Sky clearly feels that we are only on the fringes of the mix and that the Saints, Wednesday and particularly Leicester are in for a white knuckle afternoon

13:00 - Flick on CWR and listen to the build up.

13:30 - Team news....we're crap.

13:35 - Real team news. As you were for the Wolves game with Thornton making the bench. Charlton have a mixture of injuries, suspensions and have brought in some youngsters. Not sure if that's good or bad.

13:40 - Listen to Oggy recounting the great escapes of the past. Feel goose bumps and queasy at the same time. Funny but I've felt fine all week not really concerned, now that the moment has arrived I'm a little twitchy. Sure we'll be fine though

My Dear Old Dad

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 22:05:57 +0000

My dear old Dad has taught me many, many things, several maxims which I have lived my life by. Wise rules that have kept me in good stead guiding me along life's varied path with its twists and turns, pearls of wisdom that I too hope one day to pass onto my children, in the hope that they too will be heartened nee enlightened as they make their way in the world. If I may I'd like to take this opportunity to share with you just four very simple truths, four simple nuggets gleaned from his wealth of experience;

Ich Bin Ein Baggie........

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 21:39:30 +0000

See me I'm a Coventry man and rightly proud of my home town, warts and all. Born in the CV post code area, lived all my life in the CV post code area and God willing I will die within the CV post code area. I make no apologies for this. Secondly, I'm a Warwickshire man a follower of the Bear and Ragged Staff, a county synonymous with our cathedrals, Lady Godiva, Stratford, the river Avon, Shakespeare of course, Kenilworth and Warwick Castles, Leamington Spa. Its gentle rolling hills and leafy lanes dotted with quiet undisturbed villages.

It irks me somewhat when I'm reminded - most mornings usually when I collect my post - that the words "West" and "Midlands" have somehow been wedged into my postal address like a couple of unwanted, unsightly boils. Foisted there by some government sponsored think tank who dreamt up the genius idea to link Warwickshire's largest city with the sprawling uber-slum that is Birmingham. It kinda'reminds me of the 50's sci-fi classic "The Blob" where a glutinous thick mass is trying to devour Steve McQueen, well Godiva's fair city is represented by Steve McQueen and, as for the thick mass, well you can work that out for yourself.

An Inconvenient Truth.........without SISU we'd have been screwed

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 11:38:57 +0000

Chairman Ray Ranson, Vice Chairman Gary Hoffman a life long City fan, who was invited by Ray Ranson onto the board and Director Joe Elliott assembled before an audience of some two hundred City fans in the legends lounge at The Ricoh on eve of the Sky Blues vital game at Colchester. The first fans forum under Ranson's stewardship was ably hosted by City Press Officer Jo Lumani reading emailed questions and CWR front man Clive Eakin, whom you will be pleased to know, managed to get everyone's name right.

Death by a Thousand Text Messages

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 16:10:25 +0000

Their I was trawling through the Gary Mabbutt's Knee website message forum - Hi Smiles if you're looking in - this morning when I stumbled across a thread entitled; "If you are not going to Colchester, how will you spend Saturday Afternoon?" This struck a chord with me as I was hoping to get to Layer Road on Saturday for several reasons really.

Firstly, my club needs me, secondly - and more importantly - the club needs my lucky pants. (They did get us a point at Southampton recently) Thirdly, the old Layer Road ground is being bulldozed at the end of the season so it would have been my last chance to stand on its terraces. Colchester are moving to a purpose built new ground next season just up the road at......wait for it....Cuckoo Farm. (I bet they can't wait.)
And finally, I just have to be there. I'm one of these fans that feels that if your there you somehow can have a bearing on the outcome. I remember nipping to the loo at a vital moment in the Watford game only to find that the Hornets scored while I was indisposed. I'm convinced this wouldn't have happened had I remained in my seat. I'd have cleared it off the line somehow or marshalled Wardy and the boys and cleared the danger. We'd have come away from Vicarage Road with the point we deserved and be in a slightly better position than we are now. Damn my thimble sized bladder.

An Evening with John Salako

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:27:18 +0000

It was about twenty to ten last night when the lid came off the wheelie bin and I deposited both my calculator and season fixture list in with the other trash. What is the point? WHAT IS THE POINT? Of playing this stupid predictor game when the teams involved won't play the game. Take Barnsley for example. One win on the road this season, ONE! Just been dumped out of the cup at the semi-final stage, have a striker who the words; banjo, cow, hit and backside were made for, suffering a career ending miss in front of the watching world in the biggest game of his life. They then travel on a wet Wednesday to Watford - automatic promotion chasing Watford, mind you - to fulfil a fixture that has home win slapped so hard on it that you'd need dynamite to remove it. Surely? SURELY?

There I was perched before my tele, cup of tea in hand TV remote at the ready flicking between a dull Corporate League tie between United and Roma with quick switches to Soccer Special - "Soccer?" - where ex-City boy John "Sally" Salako is reporting on matters at Vicarage Rd. Things are ticking along quite nicely 0-0, early stages, "Watford on top"...."Barnsley look fragile".... "Simon Davey has kept faith with Kayode Ohdearjayi".... "Boothroyd has the home team fired up". Sally was saying all the right things I sipped smugly on my tea and even contemplated a jaffa cake such was my confidence. Things were looking good.

Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics......the story continues

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 09:35:48 +0000

The style of play and the form have clearly improved of late under Chris Coleman's guidance but lady luck seems to have deserted us, particularly away from the Ricoh.

A freak goal at Scunthorpe - in what was in truth abject display - denies us an ill deserved but much welcome point; a last gasp equaliser at Hillsborough denies us all three points and then a poor piece of judgment by the otherwise immaculate Danny Fox denies us a share of the spoils at Vicarage Rd against promotion chasing Watford. The same could be said of our recent display at Sheffield United where a fine performance netted little more than plaudits. That said the facts remain that the Sky Blues have now lost more games than any other side in the division with the exception of the two who are surely doomed; Scunthorpe and Colchester.

Think Watford, Think Caftans, Dennis Wise and Diego Maradona

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 17:06:04 +0000

Pre - Match Terrace Verdict Watford

"Watford; anonymous backwater lodged on the edge of the London orbital. Only three decent things worthy of note have emerged from this non-descript Hertfordshire sprawl; in no particular order John Barnes, Luther Blissett and the A405. Their football team is greeted with raging apathy, a veritable sleeping pygmy of a club with little to recommend it. No history or tradition, no money, no players of note and manager Adrian Boothroyd is barely a household name in his own house. Yet they arrive at the Ricoh tonight in third spot. The point is that if Watford - on as meagre a budget as ourselves - can do it, then there is no reason why we can't.

Prediction - City just, or Watford comfortably, so a draw then"

"A Laws unto himself...."

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 18:39:03 +0000

Sheffield Wednesday's Brian Laws has clearly graduated from the one-eyed, school of football management that includes the likes of Joe Royle, Paddy Crerand and Dave Jones among its "Hall of Famers". The Owls manager declared after last night's draw at Hillsborough that a Coventry win would have been a "crime!" A statement that makes a blinkered Cyclops look like a paragon of impartiality.

This is the same man who brought his Sheffield Wednesday side down to the Ricoh recently and employed a formation of 10-0-0, so desperate was he not to lose. Over the entire 90 minutes that day the visitors had one worthwhile effort and that was off target. On another day the Sky Blues would have won the game by 3 or 4 clear goals. If I remember rightly Kaspar Schmiechel injured his back folding his deck chair at the final whistle. Interviewed after the Ricoh encounter he told the awaiting press that he thought his side were well in control and deserved a point.

Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:09:29 +0000

The Sky Blues, you gotta love them. My calculator and Championship fixture list was sixty seconds from being locked away in the draw for another year on Tuesday evening when news filtered through via text message that once again we'd managed to snatch a last minute draw from the jaws of victory. Should I be concerned though? Surely one more victory from our remaining five fixtures will see us safe? I sought solace from the form guide on the Championship website - the beautiful game - it's all about numbers and stats these days. The guide highlighted that based on the last six games the Sky Blues are hovering just below the playoffs. I was further encouraged by the fact that of our five remaining fixtures only Wolves are above us on current form, while the likes of Watford, Charlton and Colchester occupy three of the bottom five places. Colchester and Scunthorpe are all but doomed; the Sky Blues - and all the other teams at the bottom - are only really worrying about one place and my tip to fill that final place is Barnsley. Although Southampton has the vultures circling above them, for my money it's Simon Davey who faces the onerous task of keeping the Tykes in the Championship.

The South Yorkshire outfit have a run of tough fixtures condensed into a tight period following this weekend's FA Cup semi-final. With only one league win on their travels this season and their home form collapsing of late, the distraction of a Cup Final could be the last straw. Ironic really that a club that has beaten two Champions' League quarter finalists and could reach a Wembley final could find itself playing in the third tier of English football next season.

As the season draws to a close discussions inevitably turn to end of season awards. No doubt the football writers will be salivating over a succession of superlatives for the Salford step over. To be fair to Ronaldo he has entertained Premiership crowds this season in the way that players of the ilk of Bergkamp, Henry, Cantona and Zola have in recent years. Platini and Blatter may snipe about the state of the English game but I for one am glad that we have witnessed their like on our shores rather than glimpse them from afar plying their trade on the continent.

Yorkshire Club's Cock Up Could Prove Costly.

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 17:57:26 +0000

Following Sheffield Wednesday's administration cock up in Saturday's one all draw with promotion chasing Stoke City, an error which saw six loan players - one more than the maximum allotted - named in the home sides starting sixteen. Bloggy oggy oggy can reveal that an insider at the football league headquarters has informed us that a decision has already been reached with regard to the Yorkshire clubs punishment..........Leicester City are to be fined and demoted with immediate effect. Seems fair, harsh.....but fair.

"We hope" continued the spokesman "that the punishment meted out will serve as a timely reminder to all administrators in the game of their roles and responsibilities and that the FA rules must be adhered too." Hear, hear.

Hats Off to Plymouth

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 17:48:28 +0000

Firstly a personal plea to Mr Ray Ranson. Please Mr Ranson, PLEASE! Ask John thingy from Mercia FM to stop introducing each stand at the Ricoh to the visiting team's travelling supporters. It's so embarrassing that my toes are touching my shin bone by the time he's finished. I remember as a kid hiding behind the settee in fear when Dr Who came on the telly my hands clutched over my ears because I hated the music at the end. John's performance induces much the same reaction. "And this Plymouth fans" he bawls into the microphone "is the Coventry Telegraph stand the home of the famous SKY BLUE ARMY!" four fifths of whom are still queuing to get in or firmly embedded in the mall below either sneaking a crafty fag, swigging a beer, munching on a pie and watching Jeff Stelling or ogling the pretty young things enticing you to use your cashless card. John, stop it, it's not big and it's certainly not clever. If you want to know how pre-match entertainment and atmosphere build-up should be done pop down to St Mary's - the home of Southampton - they've got it spot on.