Coyote Dreamer

2017-02-11T15:27:00.000-08:00

Back again. Am now on my third dating site. Just to be clear I usually only due 3 months just to get a different prospective, besides that is the shortest affordable way.
Update on the interesting guy. Well he was real and a very nice man. We hate 3 "dates" dinners actually and couple at my house. He lived a fair distance away, I offered to meet half way or come to his place, it only seemed fair to share the travel time. It just never happened. He was embarrassed of his small place, he loved the drive, stuff like that. Stuff kept coming up and finally he said he broke down in church over this dating thing! Okay. Needless to say with kind words I let him off the hook.
After him I connected with another guy who "wasn't really from so and so" but just working in the area. He was really from Prescott, AZ and he wanted to continue via emails. Okay I was smart and check him out, yes he was on FB, but yet it said he was married. OK? So I get an email from a totally different name with all this lovely words and how he wants to know me. Suckered once again only I called him on it at the end of the email. Didn't get an answer back. But my profile got hijacked. Great! Luckily the email was not the one associated with my profile but it still caused problems with that profile. So I cancelled it and told what had happened and I THINK that is over with.
SO, I wait a couple of weeks and try yet another one. Now I am not trying just any ole site, OurTime and now Zoosk are the ones. On this one, message a couple, some are too far away to even think about, wink at some just the normal. I am not good at this because if they don't feel right I don't respond, which according to the "site" is a no-no. Talk, talk, etc. Well anyway, this guy has the funniest message right off the bat. He was ok looking, younger, but there was something. Messages commence and the texting, man the texting! I had too clear out my phone twice! It was so much fun!! Finally, we are going to meet half way. He has to work late. OK no big deal. We schedule a redate for 2 days later. Everything going good, I talk to him couple hours before he's to leave for the date he tells me what he is going to do before and then about an hour later he sends text he's on his way to ER! Long story short he has afib stays in hospital over night, has cath next day. I check by text on how he is, he keeps me updated, he texted when he gets home. OK. On Monday this week, we make plans to meet again here on Tues. Everything is set. Come time for him to be here, nothing. Couple hours later I text "I guess something has come up?" no answer. Next morning I text "Are you okay?" no answer.
Still nothing. I am heartbroken. I had fallen in love with the idea, real romantic or gullible most likely, and I am tore between being totally pissed and worried about his heart issue!!! Man, this is not worth it. So I have been up and down all week. I have prayed. I have cussed. It is like first crush breakup all over again. Just a side not, he was a real person, I do try and check as much as I can. So yesterday I bought a V-day card, very non committal, and sent with it a letter. Now the first page was very sweet and concerned, which I was, and how disappointed I was. Hope he was okay, would like to know why or just that he was okay and thanks for the fun. THEN later I added a second page where the pissed me spoke!!!!!! So now it is Saturday, I still have trouble not thinking about him. I know I was just in love with the idea but still it hurts!
So now I have to start again. Damn I hate this. So slowly it will go on!!! Later gator, til next installment of "Dating as a widow"

2016-11-11T17:38:00.000-08:00

Well, it has almost been a year since I have posted. And 2 1/2 years have passed since I became a widow. I think it is harder now than it was then. Mostly because I am ready to go ahead with my life but in order to do that to some extent you have to get out there and meet men.
I understand married friends are not going to "fix you up" for various reasons and that is okay. So the other option is dating sites. At first they are intriguing but after a while they start to tear down your confidence, destroy your self acceptance and totally drive you over the edge. I learned early on not to set your hopes up. Now don't get me wrong I have met some very nice men but only one was up front and said I was not his type. The others think they are kind or maybe they intend to reconnect but they just don't. Now I don't bug them. Send texts a few times taking cues from them, like normal, but quit when they are obviously just polite replies. I am no dummie. Ok, someone is going to say, well you must come off as needy. I am not needy, I am sure that was my first mistake on my first foray into this type of dating. So I had a talk with myself and hopefully that is not an issue. But you know I met a really nice guy last week, we had texted and talked for a few weeks before we met and he is really great. So there seems to be something there but......... I get so mad at myself when I let myself believe. I have no idea what I expect from this post but I feel a iddy bit better.

I am back

2015-11-21T16:20:00.000-08:00

Did not realize it had been so long since I posted here. A lot has happened. My daughter got married 4 years ago in April. They are having trouble now. My grandson is 16 now. And it has been a year and a half since my husband died.

I guess I am doing okay. I have had a lot of support but still have done a lot on my own. I am capable that is not the issue. I miss my companion. I have started over before, after two divorces, but this is different.

I decided to try Match.com, boy that takes a lot of courage. It really makes you do some soul searching. I plan on cancelling my subscription, I don't need the desperation.

I know no one reads this blog, but that is okay.

I am okay.

Animal view of Couch usage

2013-02-02T15:32:00.001-08:00

Something new to play with.

2013-02-02T15:07:00.000-08:00

Taken this summer after a heavy rain, a crawdad made its way up to the house. Naturally, cat is curious. Quite funny watching. But alas the little guy won!!!!

Barn Cat!

2011-04-16T16:28:00.000-07:00

This Cat likes his Christmas tree.

2010-12-25T12:08:00.000-08:00

Storm Clouds over Scottsdale

2010-10-16T17:00:00.000-07:00

Storm clouds over Scottsdale. These are look out Judy's back patio this October while I was visiting. The next day tornadoes were in the area. I love to watch it rain and storm where ever I might be. The lightning always intrigues me.

Desert Rains

2010-10-16T16:40:00.000-07:00

These are pics I took leaving Silver City, NM going south towards Lordsburg. I love the southwest where I lived for about nine years in the 70's. I visited here this October with my friend Judy.

Scottsdale Rainbows

2010-10-16T16:30:00.000-07:00

These were taken Tues. Oct. 5 during the rain storms hitting Scottsdale. These were taken at 2 different times, the storms would come and go and come and go.

Another Butterfly

2010-09-04T16:53:00.000-07:00

This one was either brand new or dying, which ever it was docile and beautiful!

Butterflys

2010-07-26T16:15:00.000-07:00

More Cats

2010-06-24T15:28:00.001-07:00

Cats

2010-06-17T18:04:00.001-07:00

Flowers in bloom

2010-06-17T17:59:00.001-07:00

Violet

Plum

Bradford Pear

Windy Day

2010-06-17T17:47:00.000-07:00

My Thoughts

2010-03-27T16:04:00.000-07:00

Is anyone else tired of hearing about Tiger Woods, Jesse James, etc. You know if you are cheating on your spouse you are wrong. If you are famous/rich and you make them mad or leave them and go back to your spouse, they are not going to keep quiet. They will use it to get money from you and attention and every thing else they can. You are not special, you are not entitled, a cheat is a cheat.

And girls, if you go with a married man, 99% of these men are not going to marry you. And the 1% who do get the man, remember this- he did it to one wife, what will keep him from doing it to you. Oh I know, he says you are special. Come on, it takes a lot of energy and time to keep up the act, once you relax, he is off and running. You are not special, you are not entitled, a cheat is a cheat.

Come on people, follow the Golden Rule. Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.

Freezing Fog results

2010-02-18T05:07:00.000-08:00

Early this month after a snow storm, we had freezing fog. Here are some pics I took that morning. These don't show how beautiful the trees are when the sun shines on the icy trees, but it is close.

A Farewell to Little Girl

2009-12-02T14:29:00.000-08:00

Little Girl had become a house cat, sort of, she didn't like to use the litter box, but she was good at asking to go outside. For a few days, someone had the runs. With 3 dogs and 2 cats in the house, you have to do a lot of detective work to decide the culprit. Well Monday, Little Girl was put outside. It was a nice day for the last day of November and she liked to lay in my weed garden trying to catch the finches as they ate. Well the day turned in to evening and then morning came. I wasn't too worried, weather was nice. We went to walk, it is dark, as we drive out of the driveway we notice something white across the road, but we go on. We walk, we go to breakfast, all the time I am wondering which cat was lying on the side of the road.

As we leave the diner I joke to the cashier that we had to go home and pick up a cat from the road and I would have to do it since my husband is to soft hearted. We drive toward our drive, it is light now, and there I can see that my little friend, who had to drink out of my glass, who hid behind the coffemaker while I washed dishes, who slept in the upstairs bathroom sink, was laying on the side of the road--a victim of East Brown Road traffic. And my dear husband went and picked her up so that I wouldn't have too.

So to Little Girl, with all my love, I know that all pets go to heaven. Amen.

October Sunrise

2009-10-25T05:48:00.001-07:00

October Sunset

2009-10-25T05:44:00.001-07:00

Smart Skunk

2009-10-09T12:44:00.001-07:00

This guy came back looking for food. I knew raccoons were handy but it seems skunks are too. It used its snout to open the door to the cat container and stood there eating away. All the cats just stood at a distance watching. I usually just turn on the light and let Reggie out in the morning, luckily I looked before I opened the door!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And do you know that knocking on the window doesn't scare them.

Reggie & little girl sleeping

2009-10-05T16:49:00.000-07:00

Skunk Visitor

2009-09-26T16:57:00.001-07:00

This guy has been visiting our back porch the last few days eating the cat food we put out for the outdoor cats. Not think it was a nice visitor my husband has started to put the food up at night. Miss Kitty had to see what I found so interesting since I was sneaking around the house on tiptoes and watching from a distance. It looks like they are thinking "Are we related?"

Scenic Pics or What I liked

2009-08-26T12:57:00.000-07:00