Coz I can

Some thoughts aloud

2008-03-31T00:16:00.004+03:00

Recently I've had a semi-sereus illness, nothing too major but it did involve hospital stay(first one for me) and about a month of home stay. This illness and experiences around it made me think alot and I believe ultimately changed me.

It's true what they say, that the moment of truth for friendships and reflections on your social status, is when you're in the sh*&t and not the good times. I've got myself some insights in that respect.
I've also re-learned the value of family, this amazing unconditional care and love... its rarely seen in our day in time and sadly sometime is taken for granted...
Life.... all of it... is just too amazing.... the bad and good things... just makes you wanna take deepest inhale of all of it, experience every one of those moments to the fullest. I feel like I've had dust brushed off me, and that things are clearer now...

I dont know if those things are related to me being sick (because it really wasnt a big thing) or maybe some transformation that was bound to happen. whatever it is, I like it.

I smile more....
Just finished a short period relationship with really cute and cool girl, I loved the feeling of being with here, Loved the feeling of being annoyed by her, and I love the feeling of us now being apart.It's all good, all mine, all great.

Those that know me, know how much Sport is important to me, on a mental level. I've been counting the days till I could get back into shape. I am still far from being the ye' old Jacob... but will get there very soon. Got back to my love on two wheels, and daamn its good to be back...

Thank you!

I am almost out of words to write now, and really contemplating what to do with this post, as its more of a dump of thoughts rather than an organized post.

- Optimistic , and somewhat happy, Jacob

Tribute song

2007-11-04T01:25:00.000+02:00

I've stumbled upon this tribute song to the "2girls1cup" thing(for the lack of better term).
The song is nice, check it out...

***Extreme Warning*** :
2Girls1Cup is not for people with sensitive stomaches and those that dont appreciate the freaks that soround us.

I rate 2Girls1Cup as 9.5/10 on Extreme vile disgusting gore chart.
That movie makes you appreciate the internet more than anything else.

I definetly smell a pork product of some kind

2007-11-04T01:00:00.002+02:00

A week ago I was planing to go on a kickass Bike Ride up north.I've loaded my bike on my car as usual and was on my way to pickup another bike(and a friend) .
The weather was good, the hefty amount of caffeine in my veins, the anticipation for that thrill of a ride, all was there.... perfect.
Alas, piggies had something else in store for me...

On the first intersection I was pulled over by a cop (100 meters from my house). The dude approached my car, and asked for the regular papers. I could easily see that he was bored to the death and was looking for a prey , and since not too many cars pass that street at those early morning hours - I was it(joy).

Well to cut the long story short, I received a ticket for driving a wide-load (aka my bike) on my care. Its been a week and I am still pissed, I'd share some of graphic thoughts and descriptions of that turd of a cop but the written word wont do them justice.

This is for you - piggie

....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...

Pleasent surprise on a rotten day

2007-10-20T16:25:00.000+02:00

Few weeks ago I've been visiting NYC, both work and some time off.
On the day of my arrival I've had a really rotten day and all I wanted is to have some piece and quiet demise of this day.

I went for a stroll in Central Park, see whats it all about and mainly was planning to crash on some green patch and chill.Central Park is quite impressive, and its location makes it even more unique - a Huge nature blob engulfed by menacing skyscrapers and endless rivers of human traffic.

As I walked around, I heard some live music playing. Me being a sucker for almost any (Suede should be banished back to hell, get young and old priest already!!!) live performance, so naturally I went like a zombie towards the music. There was this man playing guitar in front of a small crowd chilling on a green hill and boy was he good. He played both covers(really well) and his own material which is very good and funny (bard like stuff).

It appears David Ippolito - AKA "That Guitar Man from Central Park" been playing at that spot every summer weekend for the last 16 years - *damn!* .
That gig really made me laugh and enjoy, and basically turned that otherwise rotten day into something good. There was this great vibe in the air where everyone were enjoying themselves especially David.

David has a website - http://www.thatguitarman.com/ check it out, also he has some free songs there he wrote, check em out.

So here it goes, Thanks David for the great time.

It's been a while....

2007-10-20T16:16:00.000+02:00

Its been a while (year and a week) since I placed a post here...

I've decided that the blog name is tool cool for it to sit idle. I guess this means you'll be getting more post from coz-i-can blog, why?(well you know the answer).

I will use this modern age stage to share thoughts,rant, humor, and simply have fun.
For all those who remained faithful (yet cheated) subscribers of the blog RSS or those who visit it regularly (why?) and those who just popped in , Good to have you on board.

Roads.... Lanes..... BAM!

2006-10-11T22:13:00.000+02:00

NO! You Guessed wrong... its actually a schematic of a 4 laned highway in Istanbul...

Notice anything wrong with it? Neither do I

The scematic is a result of short dialog between Road planner and Road building contractor, and it went something like this.

Building contractor: Are you sure? I mean it seems a little strange
Road Planner: Strange?? What are you talking about?
Building contractor: well, the road you planned has 4 lanes, right?
Road Planner: Yes
Building contractor: 2 in each direction.
Road Planner: Yes so whats the problem, can you or cant you do this?
Building contractor: I can but..... well you.... you... you put the lanes all wrong, I mean look at it... LOOK. its insane.
Road Planner: not insane, artistic. I've been planning roads for 10 years, I got bored with the same designs. Thought of trying something artistic, and as it seems it fits my art project due date at University. I submitted this design and got an A+ for it. So I decided if its good for the Academy it must be good enough for cars.
Building contractor:aww fuck it, atleast the pay is ... pay.

if Turds grew on trees they'd be named Guavas

2006-10-11T21:45:00.000+02:00

I stubled a while ago on a blog post regarding Guava fruit. The post was praising the fruit in all its glory and marvel.

Well I have only one thing to say about that.... Its BULLCRAP , and not even the kind of crap that can be used for manure.

Lemme tell you a few facts about Guava:

* Guava - What kind of name is that for a fruit.I mean c'mmon....
* They're shaped like rotten testicles , 'Exhibit A'
* The smell - Now dont get me started on this... this crap smells worse than armpits of average plumber named Corky. And thats
before its over ripes and starts to rot. Once this 'Satan turd' reaches this final stage, it can be smelled from diffrent zip codes.
It is belived that a dozen over riped Guyava's when strategly deployed will lead immediate capitulation of midium sized country, in any type of conflict.
Alas, due to inhumanity of this approach and the difficulty to contain the spread of the Guyava fumes. World powers restrain from using or even testing this doomsday device.

* "Tommorrow you'll eat Guava for Breakfast" - Its how parents bring back the fear into their misbehaving children

I dont like this fruit, dont like it at all...

P.S M' its okay that you like those... I dont hate you... yet

Rosh Hashana Summary

2006-09-24T12:50:00.000+03:00

Morning Fri
=======
Sleep, Drool,Dream of 4 breasted aliens, Scratch private parts,Oh whats up with this light up my face, go buy dead cows and other lesser 'meat' for BBQ, feed my face in sinners shop (AKA Tiv Taam).

Evening Fri
=========
Sleep, Bloody cellphone bzzzz'd me,curse the cell, curse in russian,combo multilingual curse involving siblings of cellphone manufacturers,Silence,crank up some music, wash face, Fooding mode ON!, neighbours join feeding, politics talk, world is stupEd, cool New Year speeches,food, early retirement of fellow table comrade - L'. Go out, Well Hello there :), no humans in the cafe - just like I like it, milkless coffee(plenty of H2O though), No wood in the shower, People invent funny words(Bonus!),Sleep.

Saturday
=========
What the Fricken? No seriosly, whats this bloody hour to wake up to? Eyesight is blurry, Think I see flying monkeys, Mental Note: Sleep is for the weak, I wouldnt mind being weak now. 5 hrs of sleep, going bike, biking, slash my arm on a tree.back, BBQ. Note to self: When operating explosive BBQ machinery read manual first (my eyebrows were magically saved, DAMN YOU B'). Good old friends came, lotsa catching up, I hate only some of them, Game Cube, Lost in disgrace, Lost again , Lost to a girl, Another dude for MAIDEN gig. Ate soo much I cant move, Home, Couching, Speed on TV,music,MSN,sleep.

Sunday
=========
Early biking with T', Got back in the shape, Didnt crash that cactus again,good, twice, hungry as fuck, write a blog post, BBQ II - The revenge, Orgy - of the good kind(no animals this time).

Monday
=========
Going to SUCK , I know it.

Addictive!!!

2006-09-19T18:54:00.000+03:00

This is what computers were made for:Yummm

Iron Maiden & Me

2006-09-19T18:28:00.000+03:00

Maiden! Maiden!! M-A-I-D-E-N!!!

So I just bought tickets for the Iron Maiden gig scheduled for Dec 20th, in Dublin.

Yes, I am going to Dublin mainly to see a Metal gig, I am so proud and giddy,when I think about it I touch myself.

Blog Changes

2006-09-12T15:20:00.000+03:00

I moved the blog to new blogger.com site..

So you might see some changes in the blog, the visits counter has been reset - I had zillions before... I excpect this blog to be even more popular.. so start working Hunams.... AT ONCE.

Also I am gonna open another blog for techie only stuff.. will post info later.

Each post will now have tags related to it for easier sorting navigations.

QOTD: Tip for Life #349857:Never come home drunk with a conoe

Clerks 2

2006-09-08T23:05:00.000+03:00

Ok I will make this one short and sweet.

Clerks 2 rules.
Go see Clerks 2.
First go see Clerks.
Go see Clerks 2.
Sleep.
Go see Clerks 2.

I loved this movie so much I wanna have bastard children with it who will become Joby clerks.

Candy,WaterMelon,Huba Buba

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Promised it will be sweet.

New Laptop - Old Idiots

2006-09-08T22:40:00.001+03:00

Oy!,
Got me a new laptop 2 days ago, still getting used to the keyboard.
Using this post as typing practice.

Here are some specs of my new beast.

Model: Dell D820
Ram: 2GB 667MHZ
CPU: Intel T2400
Disk: 60GB ~~7200~~ (5400) RPM - More about this below
Screen: 15.4'' Widescreen
Batter: 9 Cell

Well, This is my happy new beast. I like.
Except for the disk.... Those fucks at Omnitech(lame ass Dell reseller) supplied the laptop with the wrong hard disk... What gives... arent there honest people left in the world...

I dont ask for much, I mean.... you can carry on with the wars, Have wild(but safe) relationsheeps, listen to crapy music, even kill your first born...

But there are two things that one should NEVER fuck with(and no, not even then.)

1) Bloody Marry cocktail
2) Computer specs

I love my laptop

Life Update : Part I

2006-08-27T17:44:00.000+03:00

Oy!
Its been a while since I wrote some posts here. Lotsa shit been going on with my life lately some of which I will share here, others will be shared over beer or sex (preferably both ).

First let me get something off my right testicle.... done.

Below is a list of things and thoughts that passed through my mind lately:

Job,girls,Huba Buba(the red one),Closing my company, New Job,ughh snacky cakes,stupEd women, sex, saw 'Clerks' for 25th time, people dont change, my regular pub turned sucky,heat, heat, summer sucks, friend got married( fucking early), Rojer waters gig(Israel Hater), flat hunting, etc...

More details later.

Now check this out, my favorite quote of now.

When you're feeling down and blue and think you never accomplished anything. Just remmember, some years ago you came first of billions. That gotta count for something.

Dumb people who dont get it, report to me for reverse labotomy, and piss off my blog.

Soon

2006-08-24T09:27:00.000+03:00

Oy!,
I've been slacking badly in blog updates, you can say I had a serios writers block(its this evil food). But luckily I am done with it.

Many updates coming soon,
In the mean time, here is a small thingy courtesy of 'M'

thingy

Water War II - The revenge.

2006-07-03T18:54:00.000+03:00

Dont be dry.

Evill Shit!!! EvOil I tell you

2006-06-30T12:02:00.000+03:00

Okay, I love extreme sports, simply love it. Since I discovered the extreme sports channel a while ago, it replaced the 'dead tv' time spot of MTV (MTV has only music - which sux large portions of the time, Extreme channel has music and people doing crazy stuff, sometimes dying or getting castrated. Bonus. Extreme wins!.)

A few days ago I saw this .... This dude is soo EvOil. he can single handedly kickass of moderetly sized army battalion and in the same time make it to the 22:00 movie session in local cinema(he can run, ok!). The movie s tarts as one of thosee "Darwin awards" flics, but quite quickly I realized that the fucker doesnt wanna fall and die.

check this out.

Bender was right.

2006-06-29T13:23:00.000+03:00

I saw the writing on the wall, and it said: Bite my shiny metal ass

2006-06-23T18:08:00.000+03:00

Sweet juicy news.... Its back , in 2008 13 more episodes.
It appears to be more than just a romour this time, multiple confirmations about a closed deal.

Here
and Here

Finaly I can stop signing the "Bring Futuram Back petition" under multiple fake names.
Phew, 4+ extra hours added to a day. Bonus.

If you dont like futurama , Get off my Blog!!! Go play with used .

Old friend

2006-06-19T17:25:00.000+03:00

There are alot of people we meet along the way of this thing called life, some become our friends some you cant stand and want to send them gifts like these.

I hooked up with an old friend from way back this week.Was really great getting together and hanging out.Its amazing how you can, not talk with a person for a few years then after 1 minute of chat you feel like you've never parted and the conversation just flows.
What can I say some people are special, some are ok, but most are twats I forgot one more category - Polish Fucks (The member of this category reminded me of its existence) .

Cartman come home!!!

2006-06-18T14:56:00.000+03:00

Hey Boys & Girls, a crappy thing happened to me the other day.
I came back from outing a few days ago, parked me shiny car (actually its nothing but shiny, it had so much dirt on it that one would have to use Oil drilling gear to get to the surface) in front of me house.
When I tried to drive my arse to a BBQ of Ugi(makes one wonder what kind of bbq would a coockie monster have) I was disturbed by something, I couldnt quite put my finger on it ( :) ) but it was a sense of "wait a minute... something not quite right here" tm. Eventually it hit me, me car ... not me anymore. Ze bitch left me. And took some goodies away with her, that twat.

List of Gonners
===========

1x Old Leasing Car gone -- being used for camel and arabs orgy at some remote location
1x New Leasing Car in - Its ok, old one was better. Also its white , never a good thing.
1x Mp3 player Gone - Was a bday gift from me bro. Totaly uncool, not happy.
1xRenbo PS2 - Not mine, why I had it my car you might ask. Well You never know when you might need a PS2, and I like to be ready. Renbo - Sorry , it wasnt me it was the mono testicle thief(soon to be mono-lobe).
2xRollerBlades - gone.
1xUber Cool Talking Cartman Doll - The most valuable thing in my car, this dude been with me for a few years in every car I had and work places I've been at. FUCK YOU TURDS for taking it FUCK YOU may your mothers tits rott and your dicks get taped with superglue.
1xLarge Battle Axe - Lod you know.....
1xRandom Crap - Every car must have this.

My car is the 6th car stolen in one week from my neighbourhood, JOY!
In the words of Grandma Muskuna: "Ze Lo Naim Li"

Blup

2006-06-11T22:30:00.000+03:00

When looking for an opening image for the previos post , google was all random on me.
Out of 200+ images I got on google images when searching for "russian drunk vodka" about 196 were of drunk naked girls(bonus), one of something naked but unexplained(I fear), Yetlzin and This one.

Hmm, makes you wonder.
Damn capitalist scumm google...

Why Russians rule or How I came to cope with fear of bears

2006-06-11T21:55:00.000+03:00

Hey,
In the evergoing quest to explore my roots of origin I came to a topic which is my personal favorite. Recriational drinking in Russian culture. So while ago I came across a russian drinking game. Being the people that practicly invented recriational drinking, Russians ought to have good drinking games.

Among the multiple types of drinking games one stood out as a glowing posture of a drunken kozak. The game is know under multiple names some of which are : "Brown bear come,Enter the Dragon,Tiger Has come"

Below is the detailed description of the game that I ripped from some place(shhhh).
Big Phat Disclaimer: The game is a russian drinking games, these people are crazy.. I am no kidding. Russian are born with 4 livers, so they have x4 livers to punish in their lifetime. Mere mortals should take this into account.

Drinking game "Brown bear has come" (Enter the Dragon).
Required Equipment:

Thick Wooden Table - Wooden because they make a good sound when hit with dumb drunken head.

ALOT of alcohol (preferably vodka)

Money.

One person who can handle LEAST liquor is a "game leader" - He remains Game lader until he passes out. After he passes out it doesnt really matter.

Game Flow

Put on table shotglasses by number of players.

Fill shotglasses with vodka.

Every player puts on table agreed amount of money (say a dollar).

Game leader says "Brown bear has come" (Dragon has entered), all players drink vodka from their shotglasses and hide under the table (from dragon or tiger).

Game lader says "Brown bear has gone" (Dragon has gone).

Everyone gets from under the table, puts another dollar on table and fills his glass with vodka.

Then game leader says "Tiger came.. etc. etc. etc. Game leader drinks every other round.

The objective of the game is to find out who will take all money from table. If you cannot get up on your feet from under the table, you lose. If you run out of Vodka, Game leader or whoever's feet are trembling the least buys more with money collected from the table.

Last man standing collects all the money remaining and by default is hosting next game (buying initial supply of alcohol).

Well Thats it for now boys and girls and remmember practice makes perfect,especialy when it comes to stupidity.

DD-WRT das is goot

2006-06-03T21:39:00.000+03:00

New version of the great DD-WRT opensource firmware for the Linksys wifi routers was released.

The firmware works on all Linksys linux based models.

Lazy/Executive summary: If you got a box that looks like this at your home, keep reading. If you dont, steal one then read it.

By using the DD-WRT firmware you can turn this little box into a powerhorse.. It can do anything, and by anything I mean even your ugly sister/mom/brother/dog.

Things it can do:

Wep/WPA/MAC Filter/RADIUS
Firewall
QoS
SSH access - w00t
VOIP support
SVN server
UPNP support
Cron
Port triggering
PPTP
Dynamic DNS support (no-ip and such)
Linking multiple Routers in a mesh
Smb mounting
Vlan management
Other shit I cant remmeber.

This post sucked donkey dick.

The horror ends in 12hrs

2006-05-24T20:48:00.000+03:00

Finaly, in 12 hours the life-sucking-brain-stupefier-castrating expirience is about to come to an end. I am talking about the shit fest called Lost. Yes that crap, the 2nd season really got to me, while during the first I was still young and naive, the 2nd season made me wanna peal of the skin of my ears.

Tonight double season finale is aired and it will finaly put an end to this series. Yes yes, some might say "Oh wait dude, there are atlest 2 more seasons left(yes the bastards signed for atleast two more). You still dont know about ." I'd tell to those good men: go and lick a cacktus, so what if it pains, there's still much more to go and it might get tasty. DIE SCUMS.

A short summary of what we had in these two seasons: 2 x Plane Crash, One Island(hot), Polar bears(on a freaking island??!?!), Predetor( or some invisible shit that likes leaves), Drugs,hot orgy(Thats when I switched lost off),boring crap(loads of it),lame lame lame, bitch bitch bitch,ughh turture,Babylon chick(ugly beast here, much better with a dinosour bone in her skull),Hot chick dead , ugly chicks added.

oh thats it, no wait... there was loads of what you-ma-call-it.... ohh yeah.. SOAP OPERA.. like zillions , there was enough soup to clean worlds oil reserver into water. They tried to mask it with shoostings and and spooky music , but its still weak and castrating.

And now for the gran finaly I get this: Lost the game or as ihatelost put it in his news page:
News:Lost Game Set to Bore and Kill us All to Death

So there.