cpwritergirl

Don't wait until you die

2011-12-07T15:19:00.008-06:00

I read something very motivating today. In an article titled the "Top Five Regrets of The Dying" author Bronnie Ware (who worked in palliative care for years) stated 'People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again.' Listed below are the five most common regrets:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Source: http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html

Ware noted many people didn't realize until the end of their lives that happiness is a choice, but had 'stayed stuck in old patterns and habits'. 'The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content.'

The fear of change kept these men and women from achieving true happiness. The desire to live up to the expectations of others rather than fulfill their own hearts' desires led to the number one deathbed regret. When it was too late to do anything about it. When the time for pursuing dreams had passed. Their dreams never became reality because they were too afraid to let themselves be happy, being more concerned with what others thought. How very sad.

We cannot control what others think of us, and we should not let their opinions determine our actions. No one else is going to pursue your dreams for you. It's up to you. You may not have control over your every circumstance, but as an extremely insightful friend of mine stated recently, we have more control than we realize. In her post "Focus on What You Can Control", Jacey Verdicchio states:

We will never be able to control everyone and everything around us, and we don't need to. We have control of one thing at all times - our minds. We don't have to wait for our families, friends, employer, government, and economy to change. If we take hold of this most valuable tool, we can diminish the effects of the uncontrollable aspects of our lives.
Source: http://jaceyverdicchio.com/my-full-thoughts/focus-on-what-you-can-control/

Are you living your life simply pretending to be content, secretly afraid to change because you fear what your friends and family will think if you do? Are you letting their opinions determine your thoughts and therefore your actions? Are your decisions based on their approval or disapproval? Don't let your dreams wait until it's too late. Don't wait until you're too tired to pursue them to give yourself permission to do so.

Make the choices that will make YOU happy. I would like to echo wholeheartedly the words used at the end of Ware's article, and urge you not to underestimate your own capacity for growth, and not to wait until your deathbed to follow this sound advice:

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

God bless you

The Angel in the Orange T-shirt

2011-11-03T23:21:00.007-05:00

I call him the angel in the orange t-shirt, but I don't really know if he was a bonafide angel, or just a nice guy who did a really great thing. All I know is, he was in the right place at the right time, and I'll never forget what he did for me.

It was less than 48 hours before my children and I would leave on our first ever family vacation. We'd been planning this road trip for months. What started out as a "Hey, wouldn't it be great if..." idea back in June was about to become reality in mid-October. I'd scrimped and saved but had nowhere near enough money to make it happen; at least, not the way a vacation should happen. My daughter donated part of her lemonade stand earnings, and my son pitched in from his restaurant job, but we still fell far short of our goal, and were set to leave Wednesday morning.

It was Monday, and I was standing in a used record store with my list of LPs from the 60's, 70's and 80's, and some very high hopes. I'd done some research and had an idea of what I'd like to be offered for my collection. I compiled a list of all 55 albums, categorized by genre of music and detailed with as much information as I could gather about each one, in the hopes that among my collection would be treasures unknown. I prayed that the shop owner knew his stuff, and asked God on the drive over to let me know if the offer I received for my merchandise was fair.

When I entered the small shop there was one customer ahead of me, a man in a faded orange t-shirt and nondescript shorts, sporting a day or two of stubble on his middle-aged face. The proprietor glanced at my list, saying he would mark whatever was of interest to him. I chatted with the man in the orange t-shirt as the owner puttered behind the counter, stacked high with musical minutiae, and learned he was there to ascertain the value of a collection of 52 Elvis albums he'd received from his daughter, who was gifted with them during her stint as an EMT in New Orleans, where she'd gone to help after the devastation of Hurricane Katrina.

The stranger was pleasant, and I shared with him the purpose of my visit. "I'm taking my kids on their first ever family vacation. We're going to Colorado day after tomorrow, and whatever I get for my album collection will be our 'fun money' to spend. I only have gas money so far, but I know ...” I started to say “I know God doesn't want us to go all that way and not have any fun money”...but I simply said "Whatever I get from these albums will be what we have to play with." Why didn't I mention God? I'm not sure, but for some reason I hesitated. Perhaps I didn't want to sound "religious" or "preachy". Whatever the reason, I stopped short.

When he learned where we were headed, he told me that he had lived in Colorado years before, in the very area we planned to visit. I asked for his recommendation on sight-seeing locations and possible activities the children would enjoy. "You have to visit the Flying W Ranch," he insisted, and went on to describe a tasty dinner and "western show", stating it was one of his favorite memories of Colorado. I wrote the information on the back of a business card I gleaned from the crowded counter top, and dropped it in my pocket.

The shop owner eventually poked his head out and said he was ready to give the gentleman a value on his Elvis collection and they both disappeared around the end of the counter. Once their business was concluded, the man in the orange t-shirt left the shop after we both agreed "It was nice meeting you"...although I realized we never actually exchanged names.

The next few minutes did not go as I'd envisioned. The shop owner looked at my list and said there was really only one album he was even remotely interested in seeing. Wow, only one? Out of all my treasures??? I left the shop to retrieve the album from the back seat of my car, where my tub full of would-be treasures waited. Maybe this one LP would be my golden ticket... As it turned out, he didn't even want that one. I tried to convince him otherwise but he graciously informed me that he simply wasn't interested in what I had. "I'm sorry," he said. Well, so was I, because the bottom line was that I walked out of the shop with my collection intact, and not a penny richer than when I walked in. As I left I thanked him for his time, said I hoped his shop prospered and left, saying "God bless you."

Once outside I wondered what I was going to do. That album collection was the last thing I had to leverage to raise cash for our trip. Should I cancel our vacation? I couldn't do that to my children, not after talking about it, praying about it and saving for it for 3 and a half months. I'd received some money in the mail that morning, but it was only a fraction of what I'd originally planned to have on hand for our trip. I didn't know what would happen next, but I didn't feel that I should give up.

I walked to my car, shaking my head in disbelief and muttering "I can't believe he didn't want any of my stuff! Well, God, I guess you'll just have to get me the money I need some other way." As I closed the back door of my car after replacing the lone album, I looked up to see the man in the orange t-shirt approaching. I thought it odd, since he'd left several minutes before and should have been long gone by now. What was he doing still here, I wondered. I didn't have to wonder long.

"You know, sometimes God has us in the right place at the right time for the right reason" he said as he walked up, his hand extended. I looked down and saw he held a $20 bill. "Take this and have a good time with your kids". I started to reach out, then hesitated. I remembered how I stopped short of saying I knew God didn't want us to go to Colorado without any “fun money”. I felt confused, unsure how to respond, and said the first thing that popped into my head. "He didn't want a single one of my albums!" He chuckled at the disbelief in my voice, saying "I know, he didn't want any of mine, either! But here, I want you to take this and have fun on your vacation anyway."

He still held the money in his outstretched hand, and didn't look as though he had any intention of changing his mind. I accepted his offering, reached up and gave him a hug saying, "Thank you for this. You're going to make me cry." He started back toward his car, which I noticed was quite a nice, expensive looking car...not at all what you'd expect someone who looked like him to be driving. "It's okay" he assured me. "Just take it and have a good time". I managed another befuddled "Thank you" before he disappeared.

I got behind the wheel of my own car, shut the door and looked down at the bill he'd pressed into my palm. It was then I realized that it wasn't a $20, it was FIVE $20 bills! This total stranger, whose name I did not know and with with whom I'd only shared a few brief minutes in a crowded used record store, talking about Elvis and Colorado, had given me $100. I did cry at that point, realizing that until that moment I wasn't 100% convinced I was doing the right thing by pressing forward. I recalled how on the drive to the record shop I'd asked God for a "billboard" to let me know if He wanted us to make this trip. You see, a “billboard” is something I've asked God for in the past when I've been unsure about important decisions, figuring I might not hear a "still, small voice", but a billboard would be hard to miss. "I guess I just got my billboard, didn't I?" I said aloud, laughing through my tears.

The next day we were blessed with $200 more, exceeding our original goal by $20, and went on our family trip as planned. We visited friends, toured a college, did some sightseeing and enjoyed the western show at the Flying W Ranch. As it turned out, that particular event was the highlight of the trip. Like I said, I don't know if he was a bonafide spirit being or just a nice guy in a faded orange t-shirt, but the stranger with the Elvis album collection was definitely in the right place at the right time for the right reason, and to me, he'll always be an angel.

An oldie but a goodie

2011-11-03T10:29:00.001-05:00

I have a confession to make. I am not the perfect mother. But I like to think that I am not alone. Perhaps there’s another mother out there who, when faced with a grinning 2 year old covered from tippy-toe to ankle in mommy’s favorite purple metallic nail polish, silently ask themselves "What made me think having a child was a good idea?" Yet when that self-same aspiring makeup artist, confident of your approval, smiles winningly up at you and says ever so sweetly "I make me pretty, Mommy, just like you!" you are lost. Helpless in the face of her unconditional adoration, your heart melts.

Parenting is an awesome responsibility, not to be taken lightly. It can also be an endless source of joy, learning, and love reciprocated. It is, like anything in life, what you make it. It can be a burden or what keeps you going on those days when you feel as if all the world is out to get you. When the alarm doesn’t go off, traffic backs up, the copier breaks down, and your leftovers explode in the lunchroom microwave, a chubby pair of loving arms wrapped tightly around your neck at the end of a ruthless day can make it all disappear.

Parenthood is full of eye-opening moments. It’s the sight of your little one passed out cold after playing so hard she fell asleep with her shoes on that reminds you of the importance of taking time to play. It's the teenager who says "Thanks, Mom" instead of rolling his eyes and stomping off who makes you realize you really are having an impact on at least one member of the next generation of leaders.

With every great privilege comes great responsibility. Let’s remember what a privilege it is to shape the next generation, our future leaders, and let’s not take that responsibility lightly. Remember to tell your children you love them, and enjoy the precious moments along the way. Take time out to stop and inhale the sweet fragrance of a downy-soft baby’s head, take a moment to watch your child at play, or peacefully sleeping, or laughing with friends, and thank God for the awesome privilege and responsibility of being a parent.

'I can't take your money!'

2011-11-02T01:40:00.000-05:00

I tried everything I could think of, but the woman on the other end of the phone would not take my money. I was trying very hard to give her $1,400 but she simply would not take it. Let me back up a bit and explain. A few years ago I was trying to get out of debt, and there was one big bill I needed to handle. At $1,400 it was, in fact, the single largest outstanding debt, representing the balance owed on an orthodontic bill. For various reasons, payments on this bill had lapsed. Although it was close to two years past due and I hadn't received any statements in quite some time, I knew I still owed the orthodontist and I was bound and determined to clear this debt. Hence, on the day in question, the phone call to the polite but somewhat uncooperative billing department manager.

I suppose it's actually unfair to label her "uncooperative", but the fact was she was not willing to take my money. I had an old statement in my hand as I explained that the purpose of my call was to take care of the outstanding balance on my bill; I simply needed to verify the amount and my check would be on it's way to their office. The woman in charge of billing put me on hold as she pulled up my account. Or should I say, as she attempted to pull up my account in her computer system. After several minutes she informed me that she had no record of an outstanding bill with my name on it. I gave her the account name and number from the statement once more, along with the amount due. I also explained that I was in the process of paying off all my bills in order to become debt free, and how important this was to me to accomplish my goal.

"I understand what you're trying to do, and I appreciate your honesty, but...I can't take your money" she informed me. "I don't understand", I replied. "I know I owe you this money. I have the statement in my hand and I want to pay what I owe the doctor. He provided services for which he has not been paid, and that's not right. I want to take care of this properly." I was becoming frustrated by this woman who refused to acknowledge my debt and allow me to clear it.

"Ma'am, I would love to take your money, but I wouldn't have anywhere to put it" she stated. "We have a new computer system since you last visited our office, and there simply is no record of an outstanding balance with your name on it." I asked her to please check her paper files, and even pressed her about old records stored off site. She chuckled at one point, amused by how hard I was trying to give her money. She expressed the uniqueness of someone arguing with her about their bill in this particular manner. I don't think she'd ever had anyone insist that they DID owe money.

After several minutes and a lot of dialogue back and forth I finally had to give up. That's not something I do easily, especially when I know I'm right, but there was no way this woman was going to take my money. She insisted I did not owe a bill that I insisted I did! Something had to give. It was a situation I'd never faced before. She finally convinced me that despite my good intentions, if I did indeed mail her a check~whether for $4 or $1,400~she'd just have to mail it back to me, so I might as well save us both the trouble.

I thanked the billing manager for her patience and multiple attempts to locate my bill, although I still wasn't convinced it didn't exist somewhere, stuffed in the back of a file drawer. I felt odd not paying my debt, but it was abundantly clear that my debt no longer existed as far as the other party was concerned. As the billing manager so patiently explained, there simply was no record of it anywhere. It was an experience I'll never forget.

I can't help but think of how God works. When it comes to our debt, there's nothing left to pay. God's only begotten son, Jesus Christ, made complete and total payment for our sins; past, present and future. I think about the way my orthodontia debt disappeared, and how no matter what tactic I used to pay my nonexistent bill I was told "You don't owe us anything". God is like the billing department manager, in a way. He keeps no record of our sins. He casts them as far as the east is from the west and remembers them no more. When we try to remind Him of them by asking for forgiveness over and over again, He says "What sin? I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about. I have no record of any debt with your name on it."

So why keep trying to pay a bill that doesn't exist? If this sounds like you, stop! Don't expend any more effort trying to pay a debt you no longer owe. It's counter-productive. Don't write that check...God has nowhere to put it. As a child of God, you are spiritually debt free. Enjoy it, and perhaps take a moment to send your Heavenly Father a mental thank you note today.

God bless you.

It's in my DNA

2011-09-23T08:57:00.006-05:00

I helped someone yesterday, and it felt fantastic.

I've heard it said we each have an unique gift from God that began at the point of our conception, and God has a purpose for each one of us in our generation, so we should use that gift in service to Him. The question is...how do you discover your gift? Once you do, how do you use it to serve God?

Start by determining what you are passionate about. How do you do that? First, ask yourself what seems to flow effortlessly from you. Is it teaching? Giving? Helping others? What do you get excited about doing whenever the opportunity presents itself? Leading? Building things? Encouraging? Mentoring?

We all have things that just seem to "come naturally" to us, as if they're built into our DNA. Perhaps they are. My situation yesterday, for example. A friend asked if she could stop by for a visit. I said yes, knowing something was up, and she needed counsel. How did I know? I can't explain it, I just had what I call a "gut feeling". Turns out, I wasn't wrong.

As we sat in my living room chatting, I found myself speaking Biblical truths to her, knowing what she needed to hear. I was in control, of course, but the words that she needed to hear flowed from my heart without much effort or premeditation, and seemed to strike a chord in hers. At one point she even said "You're speaking the words that are in my heart!" The Christ in me had made a connection. God knew what she needed to hear and gave me the right words to bring peace and resolution, and to help my friend get the right perspective. I was thrilled and energized as we spoke, becoming excited at the possibilities she was beginning to see as we worked through various obstacles, mapping out a plan of action to bring victory in her situation. Her cause became my cause, and I was ready to labor alongside her to see her dreams become reality.

When all was said and done and she was leaving my home, I almost didn't want her to go, although I knew she had the ammunition she needed. If I had any doubt before, it was clear as she left peaceful and ready to take on her challenge that the label of "Encourager" fit me like a custom made silk glove. It felt good, it felt right, it felt natural...and I loved it. I wanted to seek someone else out and encourage them!

You see, it's not that I "have it all figured out" or carry a wallet full of credentials that qualify me to tell someone else what they should do in life, it's just that I believe in people and find great joy in encouraging them to "a more worthy endeavor". Somewhere along the line I heard that phrase and it fits who I am and what I do well.

I am an encourager, and that makes me happy. With God's help I will continue to encourage others to do their best and be their best for Him at every opportunity. I can't help it, it's in my spiritual DNA.

God bless

My Dreams WILL come true!

2011-03-23T12:17:00.011-05:00

My Dream

I'm a single mom of two and until recently, I had big dreams but no solid plan for making them come true. My financial future? No solid plan for it, either. Most folks I know live from paycheck to paycheck, just like I did. That means if we continue to live this way, we will need to work at our jobs for the rest of our lives, and never have the time or money to do the things we love with the ones we love. Not exactly the American Dream, is it?

I have dreams to follow and goals to achieve! I want to have the time and resources I need to pursue my passion. I want the freedom to help, inspire and bless people without being chained to a day (or night) job, and without wondering how I'm going to get the bills paid every month. Whether it's by way of what I do or what I say, my passion is to help others full time...and I have some pretty big ideas on how to make that dream come true.

I want time with my family and friends, and I want to make a difference for as many people as possible in the time God gives me. I don't need recognition, fame, power, etc. I don't even need tons of money. I need the same amount everyone else does~enough for it not to be a problem. All I want is to be able to take care of necessary expenses and have some extra to do the things that make life worthwhile. Thank God I now have a plan to make that happen.

Making it Happen

So, how do I plan to get to the point of having the time and the resources to pursue my passion full time? I am an independent business owner working with the world’s largest telecommunications and home services provider. This very reputable and successful company has a very doable 3 to 5 year plan where I can retire from the rat race with lifetime residual income. Residuals are like royalties..."movie star money" as my friend calls it. If you make a movie, record a song or get a book published (one of those dreams I have to pursue!), every time someone pays to see your movie, buys your CD or your book, you receive some money – residual money. You do the work once and you continue to get paid over and over again.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against traditional jobs. Lord knows I've had plenty of them. But working a job means you trade your time for money, whether you work hourly, salary, or commission. Time away from your family, time you could spend following your passion. And the truth is, if you don’t work, then you don’t get paid. Not true with residual income...and therein lies the secret to leveraging your time.

Positivity

I am working with some very positive and inspiring people. I like the fact that in order to be successful, you have to help others to be successful. It’s not complicated; I really only do two things. I share what I have found with people looking for other means of income. If they are interested, I personally help them get started in their own business. I teach them what I've learned and I help them do the same. I help them build their business and work their way closer to making their dreams come true. The second thing I do is redirect telecom and home services (cell phones, internet, home phones, satellite TV, gas and electricity) that people already pay for, often saving my customers money. I either help people save money, or make money.

Prime Time, Baby!

What I am really excited about, and what distinguishes this company from any other company that I’ve worked with, is that on March 27, Donald Trump is featuring us on The Celebrity Apprentice. Check it out at 9:00 pm EST/8:00 pm Central! I like the idea of a billionaire businessman giving MY business good press on national television in prime time :) Pretty cool, yeah? That sort of thing doesn't happen to me every day, and I'm pretty jazzed about it.

Credit Where Credit is Due

I give God the credit for bringing me this opportunity to make my dreams come true. There's no doubt in my mind this is what I call "A God deal". There have been many times in my life I've prayed for answers, for guidance, for direction. I don't plan to stop any time soon. I don't always get it right, but I've learned how to recognize the signs of "A God deal" when it comes my way. This is one of those times. See, I don't believe in coincidence, or luck, or fate. I believe everything is either a blessing from God, or it isn't. Keeps things pretty simple, and I like simple. I can handle simple.

The truth is, God wants me to prosper. He says it clearly, all over His Word. I have confidence that God meant what He said, and that He will back up His promises. I trust Him to keep His Word. He's never let me down, and I don't expect Him to start today. Continue to build your trust and confidence in God; He will never let you down. For help along those lines, be sure to check out my friend Mike's blog on Confidence and Joy.

God bless you~never give up on your dreams! And if you want to know more about how I'm making mine come true, check out my website here.
God bless

It's a generational thing!

2011-01-25T19:57:00.002-06:00

Awesome~my daughter is turning into quite the kid writer! I have to brag, I just have to! Not only was she published in the premier edition of the children's magazine "Starsongs" (two entries!) but she's been invited to contribute again, and her submission was accepted.

When I attended the Colorado Christian Writer's Conference last May, I had no idea that my 4th grader would be the one to walk away with a contract. I am thrilled, however, that at least one of the writers in our household (my son is an awesome author as well) is getting paid :)

As parents we hope to set a good example and encourage our children to use their talents to do what they love, without pushing them in a direction solely because it fulfills some age old dream of our own. I would be lying if I said it doesn't thrill me that my daughter is doing at 10 what it took me several decades to get around to doing. I'm glad I've been able to instill in her a higher level of self-esteem than I had at her age so that she's brave enough to go for it, and I'm privileged to be her #1 cheerleader.

If my "mini me" can have this kind of success at such a tender age, I feel certain she will continue to build upon that foundation and go on to have a stunning career that would make any parent proud.

Go, Lizzie!

Check her out here: http://www.lizzieslimitlesslife.blogspot.com/

The True Story of Rudolph

2010-12-25T04:02:00.000-06:00

A man named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty apartment window into the chilling December night. His 4-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly sobbing. Bob's wife, Evelyn, was dying of cancer. Little Barbara couldn't understand why hermommy could never come home. Barbara looked up into her dad's eyes and asked, "Why isn't Mommy just like everybody else's Mommy?"

Bob's jaw tightened and his eyes welled with tears. Her question brought waves of grief, but also of anger. It had been the story of Bob's life. Life always had to be different for Bob. Small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys. He was too little at the time to compete in sports. He was often called names he'd rather not remember. From childhood, Bob was different and never seemed to fit in. Bob did complete college, married his loving wife and was grateful to get his job as a copywriter at Montgomery Ward during the Great Depression. Then he was blessed with his little girl.

But it was all short-lived. Evelyn's bout with cancer stripped them of all their savings and now Bob and his daughter were forced to live in a two-room apartment in the Chicago slums. Evelyn died just days before Christmas in 1938. Bob struggled to give hope to his child, for whom he couldn't even afford to buy a Christmas gift. But if he couldn't buy a gift, he was determined to make one, it was a storybook! Bob had created an animal character in his own mind and told the animal's story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope.Again and again Bob told the story, embellishing it more with each telling.

Who was the character? What was the story all about? The story Bob May created was his own autobiography in fable form. The character he created was a misfit outcast like he was. The name of the character? A little reindeer named Rudolph, with a big shiny nose. Bob finished the book just in time to give it to his little girl on Christmas Day. But the story doesn't end there. The general manager of Montgomery Ward caught wind of the little storybook and offered Bob May a nominal fee to purchase the rights to print the book.

Wards went on to print, Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer and distribute it to children visiting Santa Claus in their stores. By 1946 Wards had printed and distributed more than six million copies of Rudolph . That same year, a major publisher wanted to purchase the rights from Wards to print an updated version of the book. In an unprecedented gesture of kindness, the CEO of Wards returned all rights back to Bob May. The book became a best seller. Many toy and marketing deals followed and Bob May, now remarried with a growing family, became wealthy from the story he created to comfort his grieving daughter.

But the story doesn't end there either. Bob's brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, made a song adaptation to Rudolph. Though the song was turned down by such popular vocalists as Bing Crosby and Dinah Shore , it was recorded by the singing cowboy, Gene Autry. "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer" was released in 1949 and became a phenomenal success, selling more records than any other Christmas song, with the exception of "White Christmas." The gift of love that Bob May created for his daughter so long ago kept on returning back to bless him again and again. And Bob May learned the lesson, just like his dear friend Rudolph, that being different isn't so bad. In fact, being different can be a blessing.

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2010 And as Paul Harvey would say: "NOW YOU KNOW THE REST OF THE STORY"

Right turn, Clyde!

2010-12-02T11:07:00.010-06:00

This topic has been on my mind a lot lately, and I wanted to share something with you. There is life after tragedy! We have all been hurt, some of us even devastated, by the actions of another. Maybe more than once. But, as God clearly shows us in Job, there is life after tragedy, and it can be a good life...perhaps even better than ever before... if we keep our hearts tender. Not that we should leave ourselves open to continued hurt or abuse from the one(s) who have hurt or taken advantage of us, but we CAN forgive them because many times...they "know not what they do".

Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. Many times those who have hurt us are not even aware of the effect they've had, and are certainly not walking around wondering if we have forgiven them. Most people do not set out intentionally to hurt someone else. Yes, there are those who do, but for the most part people are basically good. Clueless, maybe, but not intentionally hurtful. Think about this...if Jesus Christ could forgive those who DID intentionally set out to crucify him and end his life and ministry, asking God to forgive them "for they know not what they do" how can we hold on to anger and unforgiveness toward someone who has hurt us, and say that we are endeavoring to follow Christ's example?

I've been wondering, how do I detect unforgiveness in my life? How do I know if I've truly forgiven someone? What are the telltale signs of unforgiveness? What is the magic formula for making sure I'm not holding on to anger and allowing bitterness to take root in my heart? Where are the mental checkpoints? Well, you may have guessed that there is no "magic" formula. But there is a simple solution. It's not easy at first, but it gets easier with practice. Like driving a car.

Making a safe right turn in a moving vehicle is a gradual process involving a series of deliberate actions. You see the landmark ahead, decide you're going to turn when you get there, and you take your foot off the gas. As you approach the break in the road you turn on your signal, establishing your intention to change direction. When you arrive at the turning point, you apply the brakes to adjust your speed in order to negotiate the turn safely, turn the steering wheel of your vehicle in the direction you wish to go, and complete your turn. It is a process that starts with making a decision.

The same principles can be applied to forgiveness. When tempted to remember the actions involved or perhaps the words spoken that cut to the bone, I can simply make the decision to begin the process of making a mental "right turn" and get off that road. That means I must take my foot off the gas and refuse to travel any further. I must bring to mind a scripture that will be my landmark to a new road, perhaps Ephesians 4:32, which says 'Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you'. Dwelling on what caused the pain will not change anything. Talking about it won't change it. Wishing it didn't happen, or that I had behaved differently when it did, won't change it. What's done is done, and it doesn't profit anyone (especially ME!) to relive the painful details. I must make the decision to stop my "mental vehicle" from traveling further down a negative road. I am the driver, and I must decide to turn my thoughts in a positive direction. It's my decision, no one else can steer my thoughts for me, and magic is not involved.

As I steer my thoughts toward those that Father would have me think, dwelling on something good or positive about a person or persons who have caused me hurt, that first thought will be like turning the steering wheel. Maybe I can't summon a positive thought about the people involved, but I can remember what God has forgiven ME for, and choose to put on the mind of Christ as I direct my mental vehicle. When a bad memory pops up on my mental GPS, I can turn the wheel to avoid that pothole. As I begin traveling down the highway I can stay within the lane markings clearly laid out for me in God's Word.

Remember the old Clint Eastwood movie "Every Which Way But Loose"? Clint had an unusual front seat passenger who often traveled with him in his vehicle, an orangutan named Clyde. At one point in the movie a "bad guy" positioned to the right of them as they were stopped on a road was taunting Clint's character. He devised an effective solution to solve that problem which involved utilizing the unique talents of his traveling companion. He took control of the situation by saying "Right turn, Clyde" and a very effective knock out punch was delivered to the bad guy.

You may be thinking "But, it's just me! I don't have a partner in life, there's no one in the passenger seat to deliver that knockout punch! I don't have a 'Clyde'!" Ah, but you do, if you have confessed Jesus Christ as your lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead as the Bible tells us in Roman 10:9&10. If you have done this, Colossians 1:27 declares that you have Christ in you the hope of glory! That means you are never alone. You are a fellow worker with God, who has promised to never leave you and never forsake you. You have the gift of holy spirit and all of it's manifestations available to you, 24/7/365/eternally! You have the tools you need. You just need to use them. It's your decision, it's your vehicle, and you choose the road you travel.

You may have suffered hurt, even tragedy in your life. But there is a healer of broken hearts. He'll mend your shattered dreams. He'll pick up the threads of your broken heart and weave them together again. To your soul he'll bring peace and joy, and your friend, indeed, he'll be. Jesus Christ endured all the pain necessary to bring us healing from any and all pain we have suffered. If you will keep your mind on things above, put on the mind of Christ, keep your heart tender and become like a little child, let go of past hurt, get it off your mind, forget it, move forward and enjoy the life you have left, you will deliver a knockout punch to the "bad guy" of unforgiveness that would make Clint (and Clyde) proud!

God's Word, when it's followed, allows us to live a simple, beautiful, enjoyable life. Decide to "make a right turn" today, and begin the process of forgiveness. There's simply no better gift you could give yourself.

God bless you

'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.' ~ Maya Angelou

To change your future: http://cherepoole.acnrep.com/

I was meant to be free..

2010-09-26T09:56:00.022-05:00

This is about my vision for my life. A vision statement is a vivid description of a desired outcome that inspires, energizes and helps you paint a mental picture of your target. The other day I wrote out some "Vision Thoughts" for myself. Call them affirmations, declarations, dreams, whatever you will. I suppose this qualifies as my 'vision statement'. I'm sure it will be refined over time, but for now these are the thoughts that inspire, energize, and motivate me to build a better life for myself and those I love. Perhaps you can relate to one or two of these thoughts. The vision thoughts (or statements) are written bolder and larger for a reason.

And then God answered: "Write this. Write what you see. Write it out in big block letters so that it can be read on the run. This vision-message is a witness pointing to what's coming. It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait! And it doesn't lie. If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab. 2:2,3 The Message

I was not meant to sit behind a desk!

I was meant to be free to move, and I'm moving toward that vision.

I was not meant to toil at tasks menial and tedious, depressing and rote, mindless and numbing!

I was meant to be free to push my mind in new and fresh directions, seeking innovative and unique methods.

I was not meant to punch a time clock every day!

I was meant to be free to start my day spending as much time as my spirit needs, talking with my Father.

I was not meant to be enslaved to an 8, 9, 10 or more hour workday, day after day after endless day!

I was meant to be free to spend as much time as necessary with my children, to show my love for them.

I was not meant to stop dreaming!

I was meant to be free to dream big, giant dreams, Technicolor 3D dreams, and watch them come true.

I was not meant to live in a pale, pastel world devoid of color and vibrancy!

I was meant to live with passion, color, vibrancy and joy~I was meant to live a life of purpose.

I was not meant to live a life solely concerned with myself and my circumstances!

I was born again to serve; meant to live a life of helping others rise to their true potential and be all that God has called them to be, enjoying the blessings obtained by helping others, as well.

I AM DETERMINED TO LIVE THE LIFE I WAS MEANT TO LIVE!

The Power of a Note

2010-09-01T04:22:00.000-05:00

How often do we think "thank you" in our heads but neglect to come out and say it, much less take the time to actually sit down and write a note?

Recently, I penned a short thank you note to someone who did something nice for my daughter and I. Honestly, I can't even remember my exact words, but they came from the heart. I received this communication the other day, weeks after sending the short thank you note. While in a business meeting, she received my note. Her reaction to my few short lines was unexpected and heartwarming.

'Hi! Oh, my goodness, that was so sweet of you! Tears came to my eyes when I read it. I have saved it in my "treasure box" with other communications from friends and family that I have received over the years.'

I'd forgotten about the note soon after sending it, and had to think a moment to mentally identify what this lady was referring to. Since she mentioned putting it in a treasure box, I knew it wasn't an email. When I recalled writing the note and the reason behind it, it warmed my heart that such a small thing to me should have such an impact on her life. To think that she placed such great value on a few words of thanks from a mere acquaintance really touched me. For anything I do, say or write to be treasured and kept close to someone else's heart is a wonderful gift.

I was reminded how important it is to guard our words, as well as how valuable and impactful a simple "thank you" can be when it comes from the heart. And a note in particular, something a person can hold in their hand, read and re-read at will, is extra special. In this day of texting, emailing and instant messaging to take the time to actually hand write a note says you put a little extra time and thought into that particular "thank you".

Has someone done something nice for you lately? If so, have you thanked them? From the heart? In writing? Take a moment and ask yourself to whom you need to say "thank you" today...and write them a note. It could change their day, perhaps even their life, in a positive way. It could start a wonderful, thankful chain reaction. It could end up in a box of treasures, resting there for years to come, pulled out lovingly from time to time, held in thankful hands, re-read, causing a smile, and blessing a heart.

And that, my friends, is a precious thing.

'Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.' ~ J. M. Barrie

The Secret of Great Relationships

2010-08-26T22:07:00.002-05:00

It's my nature to be "others oriented". I'm happiest when I'm making someone else happy. It makes my day to put a smile on someone else's face. I live to love, and love to give.

Recently I forwarded "The 100/0 Principle" video by Simple Truths to a few close friends. The subtitle is "The Secret of Great Relationships"...something most people want to know. I found myself watching this video several times. I found it very inspiring, and shared it with people I care about. The 100/0 Principle is powerful. It is, simply stated, 'about giving without expecting anything in return. You take full responsibility for the relationship, expecting nothing in return. Step One: You demonstrate respect and kindness for the other person, whether they deserve it or not. Step Two: Do not expect anything in return. Zero, zip, nada. Step Three: Be persistent in your graciousness and kindness. Often, we give up too soon'.

The 100/0 paradox is stated thus: 'When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. Consequently, the 100/0 relationship quickly transforms into something approaching 100/100. when that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for the individuals, their teams, their organizations and their families.'

The video closes with this admonition: 'Remember, the 100/0 Principle is about giving, not taking. It's about the heart, not the head. It's about kindness, respect and patience. It's a little thing that makes a big difference. Be 100/0...it could change your life.'

Notice the line that says '...more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well'. More often than not...but not always. So what happens when the other person doesn't choose to take responsibility for their part in your relationship, and you find yourself giving, and giving, and giving, and giving, expecting... and receiving... nothing in return? Ever. If it's 'about the heart and not the head' what do you do when your heart is not taken care of, when you feels like it's slowly withering away?

What do you do when you have been persistent in your graciousness and kindness, giving without thought of receiving, demonstrating respect and kindness for the other person whether deserved or undeserved and they don't make the same choice, the breakthrough doesn't ever come, they never take responsibility for the relationship? How long is long enough to wait?

While it's true that no one person can meet our every need, and neither should we expect them to, let's face it~a one-sided relationship is not very fulfilling. A fulfilling relationship is a reciprocal relationship. Where there is no reciprocity, there is selfishness. Even our Heavenly Father, God, the originator of unconditional love, needs the love of His children. We are what He longed for, through the ages. We are those for whom He's planned "an eternal feast"...a banquet of never ending fellowship with Him throughout eternity.

While selfishness in an infant or small child is understandable until they become somewhat self-aware and begin to realize that a smile elicits a smile in return, a hug is rewarded with a hug, an "I love you" with an equally warm and satisfying "I love you, too", adults should be able to expect a slightly more evolved level of giving from one another. I'm talking about reciprocity.

Relationships. What would life be without them? Quite empty, I would imagine. I value my relationships highly. I work hard to maintain them. I have learned in recent years, however, that sometimes a given relationship~perhaps even one spanning years, in which untold amounts of giving have been invested~is simply not emotionally, mentally, physically or even spiritually profitable to maintain. Sometimes, giving consistently without receiving anything is return is like dying a slow, tortuous death. It can be incredibly draining to keep giving, investing "heart time" in a relationship year after year and receive nothing in return for your efforts.

Perhaps 'nothing' is overstating it. But there does come a point, I believe, when a person must evaluate their relationships and take an honest emotional inventory. Are your relationships satisfying? If not, have you done your utmost to be the "giver" and not the "taker"? If you can answer "yes" to the first question, wonderful. Maintain those relationships! Enjoy them, nurture them, thank God for them. If you answered "yes" to the second question but the other person has not chosen to take responsibility for the relationship and you are no longer satisfied with your one-dimensional, unreciprocated giving, well, then perhaps it's time to consider changing the dynamic... or ending the relationship altogether.

I am not saying it is an easy decision to end any relationship. It may be the hardest thing we are called upon to do. But, it is often the necessary thing. Sometimes there is no "good" choice, only the lesser of two evils. The proverbial "ripping off the Band-aid". Sometimes there are no easy answers, but you know in your giving heart that no matter how much you give to the other person, it will always be one-sided and you will be on the short end of the stick. And the day comes when you're just not willing to live there anymore.

While we can always choose to give, we cannot make someone else's choices for them. If you are in a relationship that drains you more than it sustains you, you must decide at some point if the effort required to maintain that relationship is worth it. Is it truly essential to your happiness or have you simply settled, and become accustomed to always being on the giving end? Unless you enjoy being a martyr, the solution is obvious. Seek out those reciprocal relationships that are mutually satisfying, where both parties are "givers" and therefore both are "receivers" as well.

I recently had a conversation with a friend who was, for the first time in his adult life, in a relationship with another "giver". He was enjoying being on the receiving end, an unfamiliar place for him. "It's almost funny" he said, "The way we try to one-up and out-give each other. She'll even try to anticipate something I'm going to do for her and then try to beat me to the punch; I love it! It makes me want to do more and more for her, because I know she appreciates it, and because she does so much for me. I'm not used to it, but I'm learning to enjoy it". Now that's reciprocity! That's how it should be.

I'm thankful to Simple Truths for their 100/0 Principle video. It made me take stock of the relationships in my life, and I'm glad to say that to my knowledge, all of my relationships are reciprocal to some degree. I have ended those that are not, those that do not feed my soul, those without true heart. It was not an easy task, in fact at times I thought I would never recover from the pain severing those relationships caused. But the "ripping off of the Band-aid" has allowed those festering wounds the fresh, clean air and light of day essential to healing.

Unless I resort to picking at them by looking through the rear view mirror of my life and asking endless "Did I do enough? Did I try hard enough? Did I love big enough? Did I give up too soon? Was I too unforgiving? Too hard to please?" questions, I know that as I put the past firmly behind me, the scars will fade away until they are indistinguishable, replaced with the healthy tissue of loving, caring, reciprocal, 100/100 relationships.

I wish the same for you. To view the 100/0 Principle video, click here: https://news.simpletruths.com/servlet/cc6?kpuitLQSDBUQTVJoLjLtPggxnuHptQJhuVaVR

God bless you.
--
'Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.' ~ J. M. Barrie

A funny thing happened on the way to see Santa...

2009-12-12T14:16:00.000-06:00

Once upon a time, in a town in the mid South, a little boy got in trouble at Mother's Day Out. It was all innocent enough, and the little boy didn't do anything wrong on purpose. In fact, in his mind and the mind of his parents, he didn't do anything wrong at all. The little boy spoke the truth as he knew it, just as he had been raised to do.

One day on the playground, close to this time of year, he had a conversation with another child about Christmas. It led, inevitably I suppose, to a discussion about one of the central figures of the holiday season, Santa Claus. The little boy simply told his playmate what he learned from his parents when inquiring about the true identity of the bringer of Christmas gifts. He was to say some dozen or so years later "I thought we were all on the same page! I didn't realize it was such a controversial subject".

The little boy's parents had recently explained to him that although Santa Claus was a wonderful concept, and a fun part of the holiday season, he was not an actual person who would appear mysteriously on Christmas Eve atop their house, shimmy down the chimney and deposit presents under the family tree. Nor would he be the one to devour the milk and cookies placed on a pretty tray atop the hearth.

On that fateful day, the little boy shared with his playground companion that his parents were the ones who listened carefully to their son's wishes for which presents he would like to open on Christmas morning, diligently made lists, and did their best to purchase, one by one, each thing on the list...or at least a goodly portion of them. He didn't know how his mother kept the location of the presents a secret until Christmas morning, but he knew that once he was fast asleep on Christmas Eve, his parents quietly removed each lovely gift from its hiding place and lovingly placed them under the tree for him to discover ~ and gleefully rip open ~ on Christmas morning.

Well, this information didn't go over very well with the other child, nor, when she learned of it, with the little boy's teacher. She reproved the little boy for telling his friend that Santa was not the deliverer of presents to all good little boys and girls obediently in their beds fast asleep on Christmas Eve. She told the little boy that lots and lots of children fervently believed in the existence of Santa Claus, and looked forward with great anticipation to his arrival at their homes every December 24th.

Not wishing to upset the other children or his teacher, and ever the diplomat, the little boy pondered this information and what to do next. He trusted his parents' version of events, knowing they would not lie to him about something so very important, but he had also been taught to respect his elders and not contradict people like his teacher. What to do? After much thought, he developed what he believed to be a satisfactory answer to the question regarding the existence or nonexistence of Mr. Claus.

"Um, excuse me?" he said in his sweet, 4 year old voice, raising a tentative hand as the children gathered around the teacher on the carpeted classroom floor, ready for their afternoon story time. "Yes?" she replied somewhat warily, wondering what new revelation the little boy was about to reveal, "What is it, dear?"

"Well," he said confidently, "I've thought about it, and all I can say about Santa Claus is that I'm not sure who takes care of things in your neighborhoods, but at my house it's my parents who put the gifts under the tree." He sat back confident he had not compromised his beliefs and certain he had left room in each child's heart, and that of his teacher, to firmly hold on to their own.

Atta boy!

Thankfulness

2009-11-29T23:25:00.001-06:00

I suppose it's only natural to be thinking along thankfulness lines at this time of year. I love the fact that we live in a country that has set aside at least one day a year for being thankful. It comes at a good time, I believe, considering Christmas is the next holiday. When I think of all I am thankful for, material goods are not what comes to mind. Like most of us, I could always use a nicer this or a newer that, and I am thankful for the things I have, but the true, deeper thoughts of thankfulness revolve around relationships.

When I think of the love and support I receive from the close relationships I have with others, I become extrememly thankful. It helps me keep things in perspective when shopping for Christmas gifts. I tend to look for something that will express my thankfulness for what those close to me have given throughout the year. I look for that thing that demonstrates in a tangible way the often intangible gifts they've given me.

This past weekend I found a beautiful, soft, colorful and warm winter scarf that made me think of someone near and dear. I bought it for her because to me it represented her soft, warm, beautiful heart, and I could picture her smiling as she wrapped it around her neck to stay warm this winter. The thought made me smile. I knew it would look beautiful on her, that it would meet a need, and be both practical and pleasing. It wasn't expensive, it wasn't couture, but I knew she would love it, and that's all that mattered.

I used to think the more I cared for someone the more I needed to spend on them to prove my love. I've grown up since then. It's not the volume of presents under the tree that matters. It's the abundance of love and thankfulness with which they are given that will touch the hearts of those we love.

I remember many a Christmas morning as a child looking for the tinfoil-covered shoebox that meant Grandma had once again made her special holiday fudge. That was always the box I opened first, happily indulging in the rich, nut-laden homemade goodness as all the other presents were passed around and opened eagerly. To be honest, I can't remember a single gift I received in my childhood that meant as much as Grandma's fudge. I'm sure I received many wonderful things ~ toys, books, new clothes, dolls, etc. ~ but I don't remember them. I do, however, remember Grandma's tin foiled box of love.

If you worry over the amount of money you have to spend on gifts this year, if you are concerned it's not enough, the presents won't be fancy enough or there won't be enough of them under the tree...don't. Just do what you can to show those you love how thankful you are for them. Make a card that expresses your joy at having them in your life. Bake a batch of cookies or homemade fudge. Draw a picture, write a poem, or give a "coupon" for a task or service you will provide free of charge. Write a note or letter and simply tell someone how they have influenced your life in a positive way.

Remember, it isn't the dollar amount you spend that matters, it isn't the name on the label or the expertise with which it is assembled. It's the amount of heart you put in to whatever you give that shows how much you care. Do it now, this year. Don't wait to tell someone you love how thankful you are for their life. It just might be the best gift you could possibly give.

God bless you ~ cpwritergirl

Maumelle Writers Conference 11/7/09

2009-11-14T12:56:00.004-06:00

Last Saturday I spent the best $25 I can remember. I attended my first writers conference, and got so much more than my money's worth! This particular conference was presented by the Maumelle Arts Council. I wasn't sure what to expect, never having been to such an event. I assumed I would meet other writers, glean a few tips on how to improve my writing skills and perhaps, if things went as I hoped, learn a little more about the steps necessary to move me further along the path toward a full time career as an author.

Which caused me to wonder, what do I call myself and does it really matter? Author or writer, what's the difference? When in doubt or in need of clarification, I rely on good old Mr. Webster (or nowadays, Dictionary.com) to help me out:

Author–noun 1. a person who writes a novel, poem, essay, etc.; the composer of a literary work, as distinguished from a compiler, translator, editor, or copyist.
2. the literary production or productions of a writer: to find a passage in an author.
3. the maker of anything; creator; originator

Writer-–noun 1. a person engaged in writing books, articles, stories, etc., esp. as an occupation or profession; an author or journalist.
2. a clerk, scribe, or the like.
3. a person who commits his or her thoughts, ideas, etc., to writing: an expert letter writer.
4. (in a piece of writing) the author (used as a circumlocution for “I,” “me,” “my,” etc.): The writer wishes to state….
5. a person who writes or is able to write

Hmmm, sound pretty interchangeable, don't they? This is one of those debates that can rage on endlessly and never, in my opinion, change a thing. You may call me a writer, author, storyteller, poet, journalist or scribe...it doesn't matter to me as long as I have the freedom to express myself in words of my own choosing.

Now, back to the conference! From the moment the first keynote speaker, Ms. Darla Haas, began talking about inspirational writing I knew I was in for a treat. I recently discovered this to be the path the majority of my writing takes, and was eager to hear what she had to say.

Ms. Haas, a wonderfully engaging speaker, shared that one of the definitions of "inspire" is to suggest, to be the motivating but unnamed power behind. I realized that to be the force behind another's direction, the reason they change something in their lives that ultimately makes them a better person, brings them more joy, more success, more fulfillment, is the heart with which I write. Be it a poem, children's story, blog entry or romance novel, I find I am passionate about motivating others to be their best.

Whether my words are credited with that person's life-changing shift in direction is of no consequence -- hence the "unnamed power behind" part of the definition. I just want to share something from my heart or life experiences that benefits another person in some way, whether it be to follow my example or run in the opposite direction. I love the Catherine Aird quote "If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning". Either way, my life and words can have an effect. I took copious notes, and knew within that first few minutes that I would come away with much more than I expected.

Prolific novelist Laura Parker Castoro was our second keynote speaker. Gregarious, bubbly, funny and passionate about writing, she shared practical, clear cut instruction on what I call the "nuts and bolts" of building a good story, urging us to give the reader 'a clear place to hang their emotional hat'.

Workshops on various topics ranging from Writing 101 to the How and Why of Winning Poems and ABC's of Scene Writing were available throughout the day, coordinated by various local writers (or authors, if you prefer). Unfortunately I wasn't able to attend every one, but gained valuable information from those I did attend.

One of the highlights of the day for me had to be the impromptu, one-on-one conversation I had with Ms. Castoro after the author panel discussion. The fact that she took time to brainstorm story elements--attitudes and possible motivation of various characters, internal and external conflict, expectations, actions and problem resolution--was invaluable to me, and I am forever in her debt. If you haven't checked her out yet, you should definitely visit http://www.lauracastoro.com/.

All in all it was a wonderful day, a Saturday well spent on the way to fulfilling my dream of becoming a full time writer. I look forward to my next conference with great anticipation, and recommend the experience to anyone wishing to further their writing career.

God bless you, and keep writing! ~ cpwritergirl

What we leave behind

2009-11-01T23:39:00.007-06:00

When traveling, it's been said that what we bring along is not as important as what we leave behind; new friends, new memories and hopefully a trail of goodwill for people to follow. We all only get one chance to make a good first impression, and we may never know how our words or actions affect others. I recently returned from a trip and I did indeed make new friends whom I now pray for and to whom I send uplifting text messages, because it makes us both feel good and serves to remind me of how universal the love of God is, and how miles cannot sever that bond. I had the privilege of spending time this weekend with one of those friends, and I know we will remain friends for the rest of our lives. That is a precious gift.

I am endeavoring to manifest the love God has shown me to others, even those who have hurt me. Unkind or unthinking words can do great and sometimes lating damage if we aren't diligent to control our thoughts and conversations. True, it isn't always easy to repay evil or insults with blessing, but that is what I Peter 3:9-12 exhorts us to do: 'For whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and keep his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good, he must seek peace and pursue it.'

Seek peace, and pursue it...that takes work. When we are hurt our instinct is to react in anger and self defense, to either withdraw or to lash out at the one who hurt us to let them know how wrong they were, or how hurt we are. But if we take a moment to take a deep breath and think before we react, realizing that 'hurting people hurt people', we may see that the person who hurt us is not being intentionally hurtful, just human. Knowing that, it's easier to control our response and avoid perpetuating a cycle of hurt by responding poorly. Ann Landers said maturity is the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even. I think that's a great definition.

Here a few more quotes worth remembering:

"Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be." —Grandma Moses

“It's never too late... never too late to start over, never too late to be happy.” —Jane Fonda

"I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances." —Martha Washington

"Your own words are the bricks and mortar

of the dreams you want to realize.

Your words are the greatest power you have.

The words you choose and their use establish the life you experience." —Sonia Croquette

Sandia Peak Tram, Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta 2009 and Santa Fe, New Mexico

2009-10-26T01:03:00.009-05:00

At the beginning of the month my son, a friend and I flew to Albuquerque, New Mexico to attend the 38th annual Hot Air Balloon Fiesta. We stayed with friends and had a wonderful time, making memories and forming bonds that will last a lifetime. On our first full day in Albuquerque we decided to take the tram up to the top of Sandia Peak, over 10,000 feet up! The weather was perfect; cerulean skies with a few scattered clouds, a slight breeze and moderate temperatures. The mountain appeared brown and barren when viewed from its base, but we soon discovered that to be an illusion, spying greenery soon after embarking on our ride heavenward. Trees, shrubs and even flowers could be seen at various points along our route. Although we weren't fortunate enough to see any bear or deer, we did enjoy some awe inspiring vistas.

Our cable car was packed full of tourists on their way to the top of the world's longest aerial tramway, built by a Swiss engineering firm which stated it was their most challenging aerial tram project. The 15 minute ride seemed longer on the way up, but shorter on the way down. Why is that? It seems that way whenever I take a trip somewhere, no matter what mode of travel I use. The drive to grandma's house at Christmas, for instance, always seems longer than the drive home! But, I digress. Back to New Mexico...

We had a perfect day for picture taking, and my friend DeeDee enthusiastically snapped shots of the scenery and our little group as we traveled up to the top of Sandia Peak. Once there, the wind was considerably more than a light breeze, and the temperature a bit cooler than on the ground. I was very thankful I'd worn a jacket. The view was spectacular. Not only did the city of Albuquerque lay spread out at our feet, but we could see for miles and miles in all directions, and it was breathtaking.

Our guide informed us that at one point back in time, all we observed had been under water. I took a moment to reflect on that, marveling at God's handiwork evident in the landscape stretching out before me. Mountains and valleys, rocks and cliffs were once the bottom of the ocean floor. I could picture it. We toured the facility at the summit, walked to where we could observe the now dormant ski lifts, patiently waiting for the season's first good snowfall to once more ferry hardy skiers to the top of the runs on the other side of the mountain.

On our way back down we were surprised to see two young men -- workers at the High Finance restaurant perched atop the mountain -- climb onto the top of our cable car and clip themselves to the frame. I looked up through the clear plexiglass window in the ceiling and marveled at how nonchalantly one of the young men stood, one hand in a jean pocket, the other holding a cigarette as he chatted with his buddy. What a unique perspective he must have, I thought to myself. To be up there on top, the sun and wind in his face as we rode back down to the foot of the mountain. He seemed to enjoy his perch, yet took the whole thing in stride, not the least bit ruffled except by the wind.

The next day it was Fiesta time! Opening day started early, with our group on the road before the sun came up. The city lights winked an early morning greeting as we drove toward the Fiesta grounds, dressed warmly for the pre-dawn chill, coffee mugs in hand. A friend and food stand operator secured us a special parking pass, something for which we were extremely grateful. Our pass enabled us to bypass hundreds, perhaps even thousands of parked cars, traveling past barriers to the closest possible parking spots.

The day's first event was Dawn Patrol, where the balloons are lit up against the night sky as pilots slowly rise, wind and weather permitting, into the still-dark sky. We met a young man from the Czech Republic, Timothy, who was touring our country. This young man had an in depth conversation with my son as we watched the balloons prepare for takeoff. He remarked that he was surprised and a little confused when his plane landed in our nation's capital and he observed people protesting.

"What do people have to protest about in America?" he inquired. "In my country we have no choice, no say in what our government does. I would be so thankful to have the freedoms and liberties you enjoy, if they were available to me." It was humbling to hear this young man's perspective of how great our nation is, and be reminded of how blessed we are to enjoy her bounty, and the freedom some take for granted, of which others can only dream.

We said goodbye and God bless to Timothy after he politely declined an invitation to join our group, and went in search of the man who supplied us with our VIP parking pass. We found him at his food stand, and were further treated to complimentary breakfast burritos~a staple of the morning Fiesta crowd. I highly recommend them!

Thus fortified, we toured a few of the vendor tents, offering everything from tee shirts and hats to glow in the dark balloon shaped necklaces, then paused to watch a local TV weatherman deliver the day's forecast, resplendent in a multicolored outfit complete with tophat covered in vintage souvenir Fiesta pins. Youngsters ate cotton candy while teenagers chatted on the ever-present cell phones and parents diligently tried to keep their young ones at arm's length. Not an easy task when balloons of all shapes and sizes were being stretched out on the ground and inflated, preparing for the mass ascension.

We were awed by the color, the creativity, and the spectacle of balloon Fiesta. There were owls and pigs, witches and carousels, bumble bees and a gigantic milk cow. Pink pigs even flew that day! Everywhere I turned there was another beautiful balloon taking shape against the azure sky. I took over 200 pictures that morning, and still didn't get every one I wanted. When the balloons began to ascend into the beautiful Albuquerque sky, the sight was unlike any I'd ever witnessed. 550 hot air balloons filled our vision as one by one they rose, cheered on by those of us on the ground, whether we had anything to do with helping them launch or not. There was an undeniable feeling of community amongst Fiesta goers, strangers united by their enjoyment of a shared event.

Later that evening we returned for the fireworks show, another wonderfully colorful and exciting part of Fiesta. We munched on more "Fiesta food" courtesy of our friend as we watched the multicolored display. I wish I could have stayed for the entire event, but time did not allow. I feel as though we made the most of our day there, however. We ended the night dancing until our feet hurt to the wonderfully nostalgic sound of a disco band called Funkytown, decked out in platform boots, miniskirts, polyester pants, fur vests, oversized jewelry and sunglasses, boas and huge blond afro wigs. It was the most fun I've had in ages.

We also took a day and did a whirlwind tour of beautiful Santa Fe, New Mexico, the state capital. Beginning with the Georgia O'Keefe museum and ending on Canyon Road we enjoyed the sights, sounds, aromas, views, and art that is uniquely Santa Fe. All in all it was a wonderful, if far too short, visit with friends to a beautiful part of the country I have a feeling I will get to know better. This was the first trip my son and I have taken together, and the first plane ride he can remember. We had a great time hanging out, and I saw afresh what a cool kid I have. Our hosts were wonderful, my friend DeeDee and I got to know one another much better, and we both came away with warm memories of our time in New Mexico.

Maybe it really IS me...

2009-10-17T18:37:00.005-05:00

"It's not you, it's me."

Why do we say that? Most of us have made that statment in an effort to spare someone else's feelings in an awkward situation, when in our hearts we believe just the opposite. But...do we ever stop and ask ourselves if maybe, just maybe, it's really true?

The argument that should never have started, the reason a project isn't going smoothly, the friendship that is suddenly strained, the floundering relationship. We find any number of ways to justify placing blame elsewhere, convinced we've done our best to make the discussion, project or relationship a success, therefore its failure must be laid at the feet of the other person or persons involved. It's uncomfortable to think the fault may actually lie with us.

I believe the capacity for self-reflection is a wonderful God-given ability that can spur us toward self-improvement, and stoke the fire of desire to improve not just ourselves, but the lives of those around us by becoming better, more giving (and forgiving) individuals. God created man in his own image, and God is love. God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. As His children we have the same light within us, the same capacity to love and forgive, whether it is another who needs forgiveness, or ourselves we must forgive.

Animals don't contemplate their actions and the effect they have on other animals. They don't ponder how they can be better siblings, children, parents, mates or members of their society. The squirrel has no conscience that nags him at night as he curls up to sleep amdist nuts he may have filched from another squirrel's stash. To mankind alone was the gift of conscience given. God knew what He was doing when He put us together. Psalm 139:14 says "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."

Conscience and introspection--contemplation of one's own thoughts, desires and conduct--are valuable tools when undertaking the task of self-improvement. When we think about what we are thinking about (as mentioned in an earlier post) and get honest with ourselves, taking stock of our thoughts, desires and conduct, it can be an illuminating experience. It can be the beginning of change for the better. It can be the first step toward growth.

David says in Psalm 94:19 "In the multitude of my thoughts within me, thy comforts delight my soul". His thoughts at this time were anxious ones, but God's comforts were delightful to his soul. Perhaps you are also troubled by anxious thoughts. Perhaps you are wondering if you have been upset with someone over some perceived wrong, when at least some of the blame could be laid at your own feet. Perhaps you are contemplating areas of your life that need improvement, but you don't have a clue where or how to start. Perhaps the thought of self-improvement seems overwhelming.

Take comfort in the knowledge that you have the ability to change. It starts with a decision, with the acknowledgement that sometimes "It's not you, it's me" is, in fact, the truth. Free will may be the greatest gift ever given to man by God. You can do whatever you choose to do, change whatever you choose to change, and achieve whatever you believe to achieve.

Phil. 4:13 Amplified Version: I have strength for all things in Christ who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency].

So take heart my friend, and be comforted even if you suddenly see "Oh, my gosh...it IS me!" It's never too late to change, to start over, to repair a breach, heal a hurt, or forgive. Even yourself. It starts with a free will decision. One day at a time.

'We never know how high we are, Till we are called to rise; And then, if we are true to plan, Our statures touch the skies." -- Emily Dickinson

God bless you ~ cpwritergirl

The Mind is a Powerful Thing

2009-09-27T12:10:00.001-05:00

Right action starts with right thinking. In other words, the ancestor of every action is a thought. Ever heard someone say "I just did it without thinking"? Not true. I'm not talking about instinct, or a reflex action. "I did it without thinking" is usually in the context of an excuse for a wrong action or behavior, but that doesn't really wash when you think about it.

We choose our thoughts. We choose to chew on, mull over, turn every which way in our minds, and ultimately accept or reject each and every thought. No one "makes" us think anything. We control our minds, or choose not to, but either way we think what we want to think. We should all take mental stock every now and then and think about what we are thinking about. Are our thoughts breathing life into our life or not? Are they causing good, peaceful, relaxing reactions in our body or do our thoughts cause us to become tense physically, emotionally, mentally? Are we "bracing for impact", "going with the flow" or directing our thinking toward a specific goal or set of goals?

The mind is a powerful thing. It can be your best weapon against an enemy, your best defense against attack, your best friend and most powerful asset in reaching whatever goals you choose to set for yourself. In Luke 1:37 it says "For nothing is impossible with God". Nothing is a pretty powerful word. Imagine what you can accomplish if you choose to believe that promise! Does it say nothing is impossible FOR God? No...read it again...it says WITH God! This means you, yes little old imperfect human you, can do amazing, powerful, wonderful things if you choose to believe those six little words and become God's coworker. There's not a more powerful team in the universe than you and God. "Nothing" means nothing.

God chose His words wisely (not hard to do when you're all-knowing) and placed them in His Word as He intended. He meant what He said, and said what He meant. Our daily choice? To believe or not believe. That is the question. That is your option, because you have free will and YOU choose what thoughts you accept and reject. Is the thought that you can do anything with God's help one you will choose to keep or throw away? Will you blame your lack of success in an area (any area of life, it doesn't matter which one) on others, on your circumstances, on "forces beyond your control" or will you take responsibility for your own thoughts and therefore your actions taken as a result of those thoughts?

The mind is a powerful thing. Use it to your advantage. Choose your thoughts wisely. Reject any that do not breathe life to you. Dare to dream, dare to see yourself bigger than you are! The smallest pebble dropped into a pool of water causes a ripple effect hundreds of times larger than itself. Your life makes a difference! Your thoughts and resultant actions have an effect on others. Your thoughts determine your life. Choose the good ones today, my friend. You are in control.

God bless you~cpwritergirl

Giving and receiving inspiration, and other good things

2009-09-20T14:07:00.001-05:00

I recently read some suggestions on different ways to be inspired, and wanted to share some of them with you. Smile, as often as possible, even when you don't feel like it. Just the act of smiling will change your day. Tell someone you love them, and mean it. Allow someone to express love to you. They may need to give as much as you need to receive. Do something nice for someone in need and allow others to do for you. Treat yourself to an uplifting move, a poetry reading, an event, or an experience with others that opens your heart. Make a list of things you would love to do if you had the time, money, and energy. Allow yourself to daydream that they all come true!

Make a wish or say a prayer, and in that moment, believe it can be so. Watch a movie or have a fun moment with a loved one that makes you laugh, and laugh some more. Put on your favorite music and dance, or just listen. Watch children at play. Take a moment to appreciate the spirit and joy they express, and the way they live in the present. Take a walk to a special place that makes you feel connected to nature. Acknowledge at least five experiences or people in your life that you are grateful for. Express gratitude to anyone on your list. Read a book or inspirational quotes that help you to believe in the magic of life. Watch the sunrise and sunset.

That's 14 ways to be inspired...two weeks worth, if you choose to do one a day. I think I'm going to make this a project. At the end of the two weeks, I'm willing to bet I'll have discovered even more ways to be inspired...something every writer, artist, and singer/songwriter seeks on a regular basis. Truth be told, most everyone needs a shot of inspiration now and then, not just the "artistic types".

The Bible promises that as we give we will receive, according to the measure we give, pressed down, shaken together and running over. God keeps His promises. The more we give, the more room we make for God to fill us up with His blessings. I love to give! I'm looking forward to reaping the harvest.

God bless you

Just do it!

2009-09-18T18:28:00.000-05:00

I stopped singing when I married a professional singer. I suppose unconsciously I felt he was so much better at it that I just needed to shut up and let him shine. But I LOVED singing, and had been doing it since childhood. In school productions, church choirs, even a company choir at a large firm where I worked for 5 years. One of my favorite memories is singing Handel's Messiah at Macy's in San Francisco at Christmastime one year. The crisp air, the scent of pine and cinnamon and all things Christmas floating in the air, the multicolored lights, the huge tree, the choir members' blended voices soaring to the sky, the shoppers who stopped to listen, smiling, singing along. I absolutely loved it. It fed my soul.

I've sung before small groups and thousands of people...as part of a group. Never alone. No, I take that back, I did sing one song for a group of male prisoners, accompanied only by a guitar. But they were a captive audience - literally - they couldn't walk out if they wanted to.

Over the years, my personal adversary kept whispering in my ear that I wasn't good enough and should "leave it to the professionals". I suppose I thought because I wasn't a trained, "polished" singer, I couldn't perform as well as others therefore shouldn't even try. Bottom line = I allowed myself to be robbed of something I loved doing, and could put my heart into, whether I hit every note or not!

I was given the opportunity to sing recently and I panicked. The person asking me had no idea all the stuff I had in my head involving singing in front of people. He didn't know my fears, my singing history or that I had stopped singing. I tried a couple of times to graciously say "no thank you" but he left the door open for me to accept his offer anyway. I couldn't sleep that night, as visions of standing before the people gathered for this event appeared before my eyes. In my troubled mind I could easily picture the scene: There they sat, awaiting my performance, as I opened my mouth...and nothing came out.

I agonized over whether or not I should try. What if I choked? What if I forgot the words? What if I opened my mouth and a squeaky little mouse voice came out? They were probably expecting some amazing, inspiring sound to come out of me, and it wasn't there! I'm just an "average" singer, nothing special. Martina McBride, I ain't!

But the more I thought about the reasons I couldn't, or shouldn't, attempt to sing for these wonderful people... the more God worked on my heart. "What are you afraid of?" He asked me. "Of failing," I replied. "But I made you, child, and I don't make failures," He said softly. "Don't you trust me to be there with you, to help you?" He inquired. "Don't you know I've promised never to leave you nor forsake you? Don't you know there's nothing I won't do for you? You can do this, if you do it with the right heart. Just open your mouth and sing. Do it because you love me, you love them, and you want to give. They don't expect perfection, but you are perfect in my sight, and I love you. So, just do it!"

So, I did it. I sang "America, the beautiful" at a morning flag raising ceremony, even though I still had fear. I took a deep breath, thought about the wonderful country we live in that I was about to sing of, and gave it all I had...no backup, no instrumentation, no musical track playing in the background. I wasn't as talented or polished as the girl who sang the day before, but it was a life changing moment for me. I didn't choke, I didn't forget the words, and people smiled and sang along. Not a big deal to anyone else, but God and I knew what was accomplished that day.

My exhortation to you today is this; when God presents you with an opportunity to manifest His love toward others by giving, no matter the venue, no matter how much better at it you think someone else may be, no matter your feelings of fear or inadequacy, take that opportunity. Do it afraid if you have to, but do it. Give. Don't listen to the "you're just not good enough" lies whispered in the dark. Turn away. Listen to the truth that you are perfect in God's sight, and you have something to offer. Who knows when you will be given another chance, and you may bless others more than you know. I guarantee God will bless you.

I'm in print! Review published in Sync mag's 9/16/09 edition

2009-09-16T10:27:00.003-05:00

God bless everyone. I just wanted to share the first step on the road to a personal victory. For a very long time I've wanted to be a writer but never diligently pursued my dream, content just to dabble in the occasional poem, resume, or children's story.

With the help and encouragement of several believers and my wonderful mom (thank God for mothers!) I am now rejoicing in the victory of having an article I wrote actually appear in print, in a local arts and entertainment magazine here in Little Rock, AR. It may not be "the big time" but it's a "bigtime" blessing for me.

The ultimate goal is always to glorify God and move His Word with the talents and abilities He's given me, and I'm not sure exactly how that will be accomplished but with His help, it will.

Thank you to any and all who were believing with me to see this day come to pass, and especially to LewEllyn for her professional wisdom and wonderful, encouraging emails. I love you!

Rejoicing in Him,
Chere Poole (WRITER!)
Click on this link to see the review: Sync article 9.16.09.pdf

Welcome to my world

2009-09-14T22:09:00.000-05:00

CPwritergirl here. In the world of blogging, I'm a newbie. But, a girl's gotta start somewhere, right? I'm finally pursuing my dream of becoming a full time author, and getting beyond the "it's just a hobby of mine" stage. I enjoy writing and have always been able to express myself better on paper (so to speak).

I'm a poet, a song writer, a story teller, a letter writer, a card sender, a journal keeper and now...a blogger. My son tells me I need to get with the program and make myself known on the internet in order to get anywhere with "this writing thing". He's a smart boy, and I'm listening. Guess that means I'll have to give him credit when I land that first multimillion dollar book deal....

As of this moment there's not a specific theme for my blog, other than writing about what's going on in my world. I'll no doubt cover the ups and downs of my writing career as I move forward. Maybe I can help other struggling authors in some way, either by learning from my mistakes or being inspired by my successes. I'm sure I'll have plenty of both from which to choose but hopefully, with God's help, there will be more successes than failures. Only one way to find out!

God bless ~ cpwritergirl