Cracked: All Posts

When Making Fun of Strangers Goes Horribly Wrong

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Good Cop Great Cop Published: February 10th, 2012

4 Bizarrely Specific Stereotypes You Can't Help But Notice

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Daniel O'Brien Published: February 10th, 2012 I don't really think stereotyping is a good thing. Negative stereotyping leads to racism and all that, and I know this is an unpopular opinion, but I think that racism is bad, and that we shouldn't have it. But that's me, I guess.That said, I have no

4 Realizations That Will Ruin Science Fiction For You

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Robert Brockway Published: February 10th, 2012 I love sci-fi like Captain Kirk loves befuddled green women in mini-skirts: Passionately and against all the laws of nature and man. When I say "passionately," I don't necessarily mean that I like to dress up at conventions or anything; I mean that I

6 Insane (But Convincing) Theories on Children's Pop Culture

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Cezary Jan Strusiewicz Published: February 10th, 2012 We here at Cracked certainly aren't strangers to overanalyzing pop culture. In fact, we once suggested that the Harry Potter books imply that one of the characters was sexually assault by centaurs. But we always assumed that such humorous wastes of t

24 Famous Paintings (With The Dialogue Included)

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By CRACKED Readers Published: February 09th, 2012 Everybody knows exactly what sucks about the great art galleries: they won't let you go in there with a sharpie and add hilarious dialogue to the paintings (trust us, we tried). Well, we believe in allowing you to express yourselves. We asked you to

5 Types of People Who Always Give Terrible Advice

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By John Cheese Published: February 09th, 2012 In my life, I've received enough bad advice to print out and gift wrap Mount Everest. Everyone is quick to offer it, regardless of whether you asked or not ... and with so much coming in, it's hard to separate genuine wisdom from verbal toilet paper.

5 Real Places Plucked Straight Out of Fairy Tales

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Jacopo della Quercia Published: February 09th, 2012 We recently brought you some examples of famous fictional locations that, much to everyone's surprise, you can actually visit for real. So let's up the stakes a bit. The following are outright fantasy locations -- from fairy tales, comic books, movie

Introducing Facebook Timeline: The End of Free Will

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By CRACKED Staff Published: February 08th, 2012

14 Realities of Romantic Relationships in Chart Form

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By CRACKED Readers Published: February 08th, 2012 Of all the things you see charted in elementary and middle school -- the human tongue, the color spectrum-- what to expect from romantic relationships would seem to be a pretty conspicuous omission. We asked you to show us the charts you wish you'd s

6 Counterintuitive Tricks to Beating Popular Game Shows

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Matt Culkin,Michael Voll Published: February 08th, 2012 In many ways, game shows are just like psychological experiments. Scientists love to exploit our logical blind spots to show just how irrational human beings will act in the right circumstances. Of course the scientists can sleep well at night knowin

7 Reasons Ants Will Inherit the Earth

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Monte Richard Published: February 08th, 2012 We've covered ants before, but everyone in the country didn't immediately start smashing every ant they came across, so obviously you didn't listen. And we'll all pay for it. When the empires of man finally fall and the memory of our hubris has faded

The 7 Most Annoying Hidden Agendas on the Internet

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Christina H Published: February 07th, 2012 There are a lot of unspoken (and spoken) no-nos on the Internet, like attention whoring, spamming, bragging and disliking Christopher Nolan's Batman movies. As more people catch on to these rules, it doesn't make the behavior go away, it just makes p

The 7 Most Absurd Inventions in the History of Alcoholism

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Luke McKinney Published: February 07th, 2012 Necessity might be the mother of invention, but alcohol is the wish-granting genie: faster, more spectacular and almost infinitely more guaranteed to go wildly wrong and make you look stupid in the morning. Luckily, some people are stupid no matter w

5 Ridiculous Sex Myths Everyone Believes

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Robert Evans Published: February 07th, 2012 What do you know about sex? Surely there aren't many of you who would answer "nothing." Even if you're the most inexperienced or inept lover of all time (which we've been assured you are), you at least have some preconceived notions about sex based o

11 Impressive Valentines for People in Made Up Relationships

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 06:00:00 PST

By Soren Bowie Published: February 06th, 2012 Love, like a poltergeist, is invisible to the naked eye and can only be witnessed by the force it bears on objects. To really understand it, you need to feel it, to be possessed by it, or, at the very least, to see the way it can tear up a living roo

Worst Break-Up Excuse Ever

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Mark Hill,Cracked Sketch Competition Published: February 06th, 2012 Congratulations Mark Hill for winning this month's Cracked Sketch Writing Competition. We're now taking submissions for this month's contest. Your prompt: Going the extra mile for a promotion.

A Modern Game The '80s Wouldn€™t Have Been Able to Survive

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Fatawesome .com Published: February 06th, 2012 Fatawesome is a sketch group from Boston. We've featured a bunch of their videos and have published their webcomics, including one that showed us How to Freak Out Your Psychiatrist. You can find more of their videos and comics at Fatawesome.com. [im

6 Real People With Mind-Blowing Mutant Superpowers

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Karl Smallwood,Kier Harris Published: February 06th, 2012 We've all dreamed of having superpowers at some point (today), but the majority of us have to accept the sobering reality that preternatural abilities simply aren't possible. That is, except for some rare cases of real, actual people with bona fide p

5 Reasons Rats Are Way Scarier Than You Think

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Kathy Benjamin Published: February 06th, 2012 Rats are kind of creepy and gross, but they're not all that bad: They make fine test subjects, decent pets and rather excellent drug wizards. Considering all that, people with a serious rat phobia seem relatively silly -- all shrieking and gathering

If Classic Movies Used Viral Marketing

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By CRACKED Readers Published: February 05th, 2012 Working in marketing is harder than in the past. These days, you have to trick people into thinking they're not looking at an advertisement while making them look at an advertisement. We asked you to show us what the ads for classic movies might have

3 Celebrities You Idolize (And The 3 You Resemble Instead)

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Gladstone Published: February 05th, 2012 A lot of us don't measure up to our idols. Like the little league ballplayers who dream of being Derek Jeter but grow up to be high school gym teachers. Or the young mall-rat divas aspiring to be Christina Aguilera who end up performing on Carnival c

8 Humans Whose Eating Habits Would Make a Goat Puke

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Pauli Poisuo,Elliot Crossan,Karl Smallwood Published: February 05th, 2012 Lots of people have their own personal diet plans, and nutritionists don't always agree on which one is best. Nutritionists do agree that everything on this list is a bad idea, but some outstanding individuals have managed to damn nature and logic en

6 Modern Playgrounds That Will Make Your Inner Child Jealous

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Jacopo della Quercia Published: February 04th, 2012 To a kid, happiness is directly tied to location: The playground is all right, Chuck E. Cheese's is pretty good and Disneyland is amazing. And yet every single one of the following places will make those childhood paradises look like a trip to the de

19 Classic TV Shows (If They Never Got Cancelled)

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 01:00:00 PST

By CRACKED Readers Published: February 04th, 2012 The internet raises hell over the cancellation of every good to halfway decent show, and even some bad ones created by people who were once involved with halfway decent shows. But decent to bad shows have been getting cancelled for years. We asked yo

6 Things No One Tells You About Living on a Farm

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 01:00:00 PST

By Seanbaby Published: February 04th, 2012 Most people's exposure to rural environments consists of taking a scenic drive through wine country or being tricked onto a tomato farm by a Domino's Pizza focus group. To us jet setters, the countryside seems so beautiful ... the milkable animals, t

The Dark Secret Behind Quirky Romantic Comedies

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Natural Disastronauts Published: February 03rd, 2012 Check out more from Natural Disastronauts.

5 Great Things Co-Opted by Douchebags

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Daniel O'Brien Published: February 03rd, 2012 Like most of you, I like things.Unlike most of you, however, I'm also socially awkward, as I've previously established. Part of being awkward means that everything that I wear, listen to and generally do has to be chosen based on how effective it is

7 Steps to Making an Ill-Advised Citizen's Arrest

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Chris Bucholz Published: February 03rd, 2012 Crime. You just hate that crime, don't you? Whether it's because your parents were brutally murdered or your television was brutally stolen, you've vowed to do everything you can to stop crime. Not stop it; you want to kick crime's teeth in. Talk is

The 6 Most Elaborate F-Yous From Musicians to the Industry

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Kevin Forde,Alex Strine Published: February 03rd, 2012 Most musicians have to put up with record company executives being interfering dicks. It's part of the job, just like wearing sunglasses indoors and objectifying women. Not all bands let them get away with it, though. Every now and then, through luck

5 Things You Should Know Before Trying to Fix Your Computer

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By John Cheese Published: February 02nd, 2012 I come from an era where computers were designed for geeks and geniuses. Without the Internet, their only practical uses were data storage, being a really expensive word processor and being a kickass solitaire machine. Growing up in that mindset, you

The 5 Biggest Benefits of Growing Up Fat

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Adam Tod Brown Published: February 02nd, 2012 I need to lose weight, and I don't mean I just need to lose a few pounds. I should probably drop 50, if we're making a conservative estimate. My doctor would likely put the actual number a bit higher, but he also thinks I should quit drinking. I pret

The 6 Most Counterproductive PSAs of All Time

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Elsa Moriarty Published: February 02nd, 2012 To public service announcement creators, their videos serve as a terrible portent of doom for the audience. And if they do their job right, it works: Nobody wants to be Helen Hunt jump-kicking through plate glass. If they do their job wrong, however,

The Existential Terror of the Easiest Job in the World

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Michael Swaim,Cody Johnston,Katy Stoll Published: February 01st, 2012

27 Things You Never Noticed in Famous Video Games

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By CRACKED Readers Published: February 01st, 2012 Nothing is as simultaneously rewarding and frustrating as discovering a hidden cheat in a game you've played hundreds of times. And while it would basically be physically impossible for something to have escaped our eye on some games, we can always h

4 Ways to Enjoy Nature According to Insane Old Magazines

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 05:00:00 PST

By Robert Brockway Published: February 01st, 2012 Isn't the majesty of nature's bounty inspiring? It is. It suuure is. Almost a little too much so, wouldn't you say? It's like she's trying to show us up. "Nice car," she tells the collective works of man, "have you seen these waves of grain? They're