How do I cancel my account? It is not one of the options on your phone menu. It is not apparent how to get to a live human being to ask this question. It is a continuation of the kind of service I’ve come to expect from PHONECO

Their response:

Upon further review of your account in PHONECO, it appears that your phone with the serial number [serial] is already deactivated in our system on [date].

Which I responded:

That’s correct, but I would like the entire account deactivated, removed, and purged from your system. I don’t want someone to accidentally manage to find my password and start doing things with my PHONECO account. In short, I want nothing to do with this company any more. I don’t want to call Customer Service; I want a clean break from ever having to worry about having the name PHONECO come into my peripheral or other vision. Please advise how to make this possible. Thanks!

And their latest response:

Our records show that you phone has been deactivated since [date].

It’s like I’m engaging with the customer-service version of Eliza:

* I'd like to remove my account from your system.
> Why are you concerned about my system?
* Because I no longer want to be a part of it.
> You are being a bit negative.
* Yes, I have had a bad experience with your company.
> What about your own company?
* This isn't about me, is it?
> Can you elaborate on that?
* That's not important. I still want to cancel my phone account.
> I'm not sure I understand you fully.

Etcetera, ad nauseum.

1. Come to my talks! I’ll be hosting several talks at Penguicon, including the Ubuntu Release Party (along with the rest of the Ubuntu US MI loco and the good folks at Penguicon, lest I get too full of myself there), as well as a talk on Podcasting for fun and possibly profit, and what’s new for Precise Pangolin (aka 12.04, and once again with those fine folks in the Ubuntu US MI co). We’re still looking for folks to help out with the “what’s new” panel discussion for 12.04, so there’s your easy opportunity to participate. See? That wasn’t so hard, now was it?
2. Come to other people’s talks! Ryan Kather will be talking about making Juju Charms (no, not the ones that turn burlap dolls into voodoo weapons, these help you deploy programs on servers with just a few commands). Also, Rick Harding will be talking about the differences between JQuery and YUI (and more importantly, convincing developers to think more about their framework choices). And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention my lovely wife JoDee will be talking about Citizen Science programs, and how you can help scientific pursuits in your spare time.
3. TONS MORE! Seriously, head to http://penguicon.org and click on the schedule link. IF you can’t find something to plop your patookas in front of, you’re not trying hard enough.

Plus, I’ll be putting together an episode of Open Metalcast at my podcasting talk, and giving out some DVDs with a selection of previous Open Metalcast Episodes. (Unfortunately, my DVD burner isn’t working properly, so this isn’t going to happen. Sorry!) Also, it has been rumored that I might have ribbons to give out.

Hope to see you there!

And when it came to rest, I looked around the cabin of the car.

Nothing.

Not a single drop that I could see escaped from the mug.

There was a little bit near the lid, but not much else had escaped. Essentially the mug acted like a coffee-capsule, and didn’t release any of the sweet nectar within.

I’m not sure if they still sell this mug (it’s been a while since I got it), but it definitely paid for itself with the amount of non-clothes cleaning I had to do.

Nice to have some good karma with a travel mug for a change.

Well, as they say, time marches on, and we’re ready to usher in the new LTS release of Ubuntu 12.04 (code named Precise Pangolin) There are two release parties depending on your location:

The Metro-Detroit folks will be meeting at Penguicon for the Ubuntu Michigan Precise Pangolin Release Party. We’ll be meeting in the Thomas room at 7pm on Friday night to hold a short one hour release party (after all, it’s Penguicon, and you probably have about a billion other things happening later that night / weekend). You’ll need a day-pass to participate if you aren’t already heading to Penguicon (and if you aren’t already going to Penguicon, why the heck not?)

If you’re on the West Side of Michigan (specifically near Grand Rapids) you’re in luck too, because the Ubuntu MI West MI folks will be having the West Michigan Pangolin Release Party at the New Horizons Learning Center in Grand Rapids on Thursday from 6pm-10pm.

Hope to see you there!

Yesterday JoDee and I braved the local Radio Shack to find some flashlight bulbs. We tried Home Depot, but they didn’t have exactly what we wanted. But, nearby was a Radio Shack. JoDee gruntled “they look like they have more phones than bulbs”, but we persisted.

We walked in, past the advertising for new phones, phone service, and iPads, over to the parts area to look for the bulbs. We were surrounded by wire, solder, and parts, and intently looking at things not-phone related, when suddenly one of the associates popped into the hallway. “Let me ask you about your phone service”.

“And this is why we hate coming to Radio Shack” is what went through my mind, but JoDee quickly retorted “We’d rather you didn’t”.

He persisted, but JoDee deftly let him know that this line of questioning would prove futile.

One of my big pet peeves with shopping at Radio Shack is that I can’t get in and or out of the store without being pestered about a phone, or some stupid battery bullshit. It’s like going to Game Stop and being asked if I want a warranty on a Nintendo DS cartridge. I get really tired of the up-sell bullshit in these stores.

And inevitably, Radio Shack always has some stupid battery club, or other battery-related nonsense going on that they try really, really hard to sucker you into. It’s like the ebb and flow of the tides.

And lo, when we proceeded to the check-out: “We’ve got some batteries here that…”

God Dammit, NO! No, I don’t want your batteries. No, I don’t need a fucking phone. NO, I don’t need a warranty, NO, I DON’T WANT TO SAVE 10 FUCKING PERCENT BY OPENING A GOD DAMN CREDIT CARD!

I just want the items that I came into your store to purchase. I’m perfectly capable of looking at your counter and seeing the packs of AA batteries carefully laid out, looking for a home. I can see quite clearly that you sell cell phones.

Every time I go to Radio Shack, I hope that things change, and they don’t try to sell me a phone, or batteries, and every single time I leave Radio Shack, I vow that until they cut out this bullshit, I’ll never go back.

I want to love Radio Shack. I want to learn to solder, and wire up all sorts of bizarre little contraptions, and put them in blue boxes to show off to my friends.

Maybe it shouldn’t bother me as much as it does, and maybe I should just “get over it”. But, as the adage goes: “the customer is always right”.

And right now, I’m dreading the next time I go to Radio Shack.

Thanks to Gib and Ben for making the trek out to come jam, and thanks to the Maloney party-rental service for the last-minute seating and table arrangements. Also a big thank you to JoDee for suggesting that we host the jam. It really helped bring things together at the last minute.

Here are some photos of the event.

Currently services like Hulu (and to a certain extent most other “free” content providers) trade you the content you want to watch with some form of advertising. Most of these are for products I have no intention of purchasing, so advertisers carefully track me until they figure out what makes me tick so I’ll head to the store and purchase their product. In return, I get to watch some non-trivial piece of the content I wish to watch, waiting for the next ad-based intrusion to strike. It’s a complicated and symbiotic relationship that we’ve been conditioned to accept as the way to pay for freely-available content that we wish to consume.

What if we cut out the middle man?

What if, when a program starts, you’re offered the opportunity to just outright purchase the product they’re offering in return for no more interruptions?

Say you’re watching an episode of [favorite TV program here] online, and the following offer appears: “Watch this show uninterrupted by purchasing some Old Spice deodorant”. A little “Buy it now” button appears. In 30 seconds, the show will start, but you can cut out all of the commercials by just clicking on a button.

The company gets what they want (more revenue from product sales) and you get (ostensibly) what you want, which is un-interrupted viewing, and some Old-Spice deodorant.

Obviously this works best for smaller-scale items. (I’m not sure I want to be purchasing a car in return for ad-free The Daily Show, but then again, we are in the market, and those ads can be pretty-annoying).

Evil? Brilliant? Unworkable? Let me know if I should be checking into marketing rehab.

Resident commander in chief of Ubuntu Awesome, Jorge Castro, asked me a few questions about how the Ubuntu Michigan Team runs Global Jams. Not content with the standard “by magic, fear, and shear luck” answer, I gave him some answers that other folks might find interesting / amusing. You can read the results of that interview on Jorge’s blog: “How Ubuntu Michigan Runs Jams“.

In all seriousness, it’s the folks that come out to the jam or the release party that really make everything work. Without your participation this doesn’t work. So, check with your local Ubuntu Loco to see if they’re planning anything. If you’re unable to make it out, or can’t find a loco to participate with, there’s always a way to jam online. Here’s how to participate.

Hope to see you there!

More information about the overall global jam can be found here: https://wiki.ubuntu.com/UbuntuGlobalJam

RSVP so we can get a decent head count here: http://loco.ubuntu.com/events/ubuntu-michigan/1526/detail

Looking forward to seeing you there!

Happy Birthday, JoDee! Hope you have a great day today!