Cranky Fitness

Adding Instability to Your Workout: Clever Idea or Clueless Trend?

2012-02-13T09:30:00.000-05:00

Photo swiped from BalanceWines

So this was supposed to be a post all about how playing around with unstable surfaces or loads can be a super-effective way to pump up your exercise routine.

However, turns out the situation is a little more complicated than I originally thought!

So here's what happened: a helpful reader left a comment on the creating a cheap home gym post that mentioned sandbag training, which looks to be an awesome low cost do-it-yourself home gym option. In checking it out, I came across a explanation of why it's way better to hoist sneaky unpredictable shifting bags of sand than solid, boring, immobile free weights. (Or, heaven forbid, to use even sissier gym equipment like stationary bikes or strength training machines).

The key is, apparently: instability!

Here's what got me all enthusiastic about incorporating more stability challenges into my workout. To quote a sandbag training guy:

"Instability exercises are based on the well-proven idea that an asymmetrical, shifting weight produces far better exercise results, because it forces your body to compensate and work out dozens of accessory muscles that otherwise would not see use." By contrast, using regular "well-balanced, symmetrical exercise equipment can leave weak points in your musculature."

Sounds great! Plus it totally explains all the trendy functional fitness people in my gym running around doing weird scary shit like hopping up and down on one foot on bosu balls while juggling 50 lb barbells with their eyes closed.

However, is it true? Do you get better exercise results if you challenge your stability while working out?

Well, as it turns out... maybe! The answer varies depending on what you're looking to do, how you approach it, and how you define "better exercise results."

First up:

Unstable Surface Training

While there are a lot of different ways to adding instability to your routine and challenge your balance, the one that's the most controversial of late is Unstable Surface Training, or UST.

Seems a lot of personal trainers are promoting UST as a creative means to achieve most of your functional fitness aspirations. Working out on an unstable surface like a vibrating platform, bosu ball, wobble board or stability ball is supposed to do a bunch of cool things. These include recruiting more muscles, making your workout tougher in the same amount of time, improving your balance, strengthening your core, and conferring the ability to wrestle yourself out of the jaws of bloodthirsty grizzly bears should any attack you while you're snowboarding down a steep Alaskan mountainside pursued by an avalanche.

Or something like that.

But despite all the personal trainers hauling out spherical objects or other wobbly surfaces and making people do weird things on them, recent research has challenged the notion that this technique will make you fitter and stronger. In fact, an oft-cited study says that UST actually "attenuates performance improvements in healthy, trained athletes."

Wait, what?

But as the author explained further in an excellent Experience Life article (which I shall be plagiarizing from even more extensively below):

"Our research showed that replacing as little as 2 to 3 percent of overall training with unstable-surface training in healthy, trained athletes impaired the development of sprinting speed and vertical jump height.... Grass and turf fields do not move, nor do tracks or basketball and tennis courts... We can’t train slowly on an unstable surface and expect to be fast and powerful on a stable surface.”

Another Unstable Surface Training article explains a tradeoff that occurs when stability varies. If you're doing a stable exercise, like using a leg press machine, you can really beef up your "prime mover" activation and can generate a lot more power in your major muscles than you can when you're doing an unstable exercise, like a one-legged squat on a bosu ball. On the other hand, the scary unstable kind of exercise uses a lot of stabilizer activation, so you're more likely to hit those little muscles that keep you from toppling over in an undignified manner.

Bottom line: if you want to sprint really fast down the track, or jump really high, or look more like this dude...

photo: posedown

... then you may not want to spend a big chunk of your workout on a wobble board.

However, if you're trying to get better at an exercise that actually involves an unstable surface, then for goodness sake, go ahead and train on one!

Photo: Petsfoto

Injuries and Unstable Surface Training

If you're teetering around challenging your balance by working out on something wobbly, there's always the chance you could go sprawling ass over teakettle and seriously hurt yourself. On the other hand, as physical therapists or purveyors of UST exercise equipment will happily point out, doing stability exercises can be a helpful way to challenge core muscles, prevent injuries and do some rehab after you've gone out and messed something up.

Your most useful accessory when approaching exercise on unstable surfaces? Common sense!

Balance and Stability Challenges On Solid Ground

Cribbing from the aforementioned Experience Life article, there are a number ways to get some of the benefits of instability training without wandering into controversial UST territory. As it happens, these are all things I've randomly started doing myself for one reason or another, so of course it makes me even more convinced that the Experience Life people are brilliant! Anyway, these can include:

Exercising with your eyes closed. (And yep, I do part of my cardio on the elliptical this way, without holding onto anything, and one day I will probably kill myself. But what the hell, in the meantime it's pretty darn fun.)

Strength training that involves balancing on one leg. If you're hardcore, sure, do pistol squats like Charlotte, but I find even lunges (especially backwards walking lunges) to be plenty challenging for my meager balancing ability. If a good part of the move involves putting all your weight on one leg, then chances are, you're going to have to work a bit to keep from keeling over into an awkward heap in front of that personal trainer you've been eyeing who keeps tempting you with his cute bosu balls.

Moving your center of gravity up and out. You can do this by raising your arms or hoisting weights above your head. Kettlebell swinging, medicine balls, and using dumbbells for things like the evil Turkish get-up or the one-handed overhead squat are some handy ways to shift your center of gravity around to destabilize yourself.

And finally:

Using uneven loads. Hmm, like the shovelglove? Or, well, DIY sandbags? It seems we've come full circle!

Do any of you guy incorporate stability training in your exercise program? Or is getting out of bed and making your way to the kitchen without tripping over the cat good enough?

Pycnogenol Giveaway Winner and Solemn Promise

2012-02-10T10:46:00.001-05:00

Remember our jaunty little French Maritime Pine Bark Pills?

Not Actual Size. Oh, and they're capsules, not people.

Well, the random number generator has bestowed them upon...Jodie Dierickx! Congrats, Jodi, and please email crabbymcslacker at gmail dot com with your mailing address by Wednesday Feb 15th to claim your prize, or I'm afraid a new random drawing will be held.

Oh, and for those who were curious about the research behind pycnogenol supplements, I've got an updated link to a bunch of studies about pycnogenal health benefits.

Also, for those of you who like to win free stuff, don't forget to check out the Fixing Broken New Years Resolutions Giveaway if you haven't already entered. Prizes are either a gently used Jungle Gym suspension trainer or a package of free life coaching sessions valued at $275.

Wait, what? Some of you hate reading giveaways? No worries! The next Cranky Fitness post is going to be about a cool way to increase the effectiveness of your workouts, and I promise it will contain absolutely no opportunity whatsoever to win anything!

So stay tuned and have a great weekend!

Resolution Renovation... Plus Big Weird Giveaway!

2012-02-07T12:04:00.002-05:00

Photo: Hypervocal.com

Did you make some hopeful New Year's Resolutions a few weeks back? Or, if you're not the resolution sort, have you set some worthy "self-improvement" goals?

Awesome!

So.... how's that going?

Perhaps you're exceeding your wildest dreams of success. Or maybe you're pretty well on track to be one of the meager 12% who actually keep New Years Resolutions. If so, way to go!

But if you've already abandoned ship on your promises to yourself, or are in danger of doing so soon--don't give up just yet. Some simple suggestions may help you get right back on track again. Or at least they'll remind you that you have plenty company in resolution-related lameness. It's not just you!

So you can either go directly to some tips on Fixing Broken New Years Resolutions, or hang out here a bit longer and find out about the rather odd double-giveaway (plus Big Discount) we have going this week...with no need for a pesky U.S. mailing address like most giveaways!

First, The Weird Prizes:

1. A Handy Portable Exercise Gizmo!

And yes, it's a slightly-used but not-smelly-or-gross-or-anything demonstration model of a Jungle Gym XT suspension training system that would otherwise cost about a hundred bucks. I already had a TRX when I did the review, so I haven't needed to use it myself. I will clean and disinfect the handles and clumsily cram the thingy back into its undersized box with the accompanying DVD and mail it to one randomly chosen winner--and again, since it's coming from me personally, international folks can enter too!

2. A package of 4 free Life Coaching sessions (plus an hour long intake) valued at $275 by a Life and Wellness coach we just happen to know!

Hey There!

One winner will be randomly chosen, and again, you don't need to live in the U.S. Sessions can be by cell phone, video skype call, or email, and would begin starting in March, to enable the winner a chance to fill out a form and sign a long-ass coaching contract, as well as to give the Coach a chance to skip town in late February for a family vacation.

I've been meaning to offer a 2012 coaching giveaway to Cranky Fitness readers, because they make the most awesome clients, and post-resolution season seemed as good a time as any!

3. Limited time 50% off life coaching discount:

For folks who sign up, get their forms in, and pay for a package before March 1, the Cranky Fitness 25% off discount of regular Life Coaching Rates will be increased to 50% off. (After March 1 it's back to 25% off, which is still a pretty darn good deal if you google around and compare prices. Which is sometimes a challenge because many coaches won't tell you upfront how much it's gonna cost!)

And if you get excited about the discount, sign up and pay and it turns out you win the giveaway? No worries, your fee will be refunded to you.

Giveaway Instructions:

To enter the drawing for the suspension trainer, just leave a comment here on this post about anything in hell you feel like talking about.

To enter the drawing for the free life coaching, go to the Broken New Years Resolution post over at LiveaLittleCoaching.com and leave a comment there saying something vaguely related to resolutions or self-improvement goals. Note: if you want to leave a comment there but don't want any life coaching, you can always politely decline should you win! No need to explain exactly how unwelcome you'd find the prospect of winning in the comment itself unless you just can't help it.

Important Deadline: Drawings for both prizes will take place in about a week, and you'll have until the end of the day Friday February 17th to claim your prize.

Good luck, and hope you all are kicking resolution ass!

Pycnogenol: What the Heck It Is, and Why You May Want to Win Some

2012-02-03T10:16:00.002-05:00

Hint: it comes from here.

Yes, this is indeed another review/giveaway post. But I realize it might take a little bit of explaining to get you all pumped up to win a 12 week supply of...

Pine bark pills.

But wait, don't go away! These are "French Maritime" pine bark capsules! Doesn't that sound a bit more jaunty? Picture 'em sauntering around in sailor suits eating croissants and smoking Gauloises if that makes them sound more intriguing.

Does that help?
(Image swiped from La Maison Boheme)

Actually, there's a fair amount of research that supports a long list of potential health and cosmetic benefits for pine bark supplements. Part of the reason I took on this review/giveaway is that I was greedy to try some free for myself.

So, are you curious about what pycnogenol does, why it's awesome, and how you can win some? (And folks from Canada and Europe are eligible to win too for a change!)

I got a nifty press kit with all kinds of research on the benefits of pycnogenol, and the studies look pretty darn official and persuasive. But the problem? You'd have to come over to my house to read them yourself. I was hoping to link to the research library over at the pycnogneol website, because there's no way in hell I'm retyping a whole thick stack of studies. But guess what? It seems to be undergoing construction and making it extremely hard for lazy bloggers to just link over. UPDATE! It's apparently only the U.S. site that's still under construction, and there is tons of lovely pycnogenol research at their international website. Plus there's the stodgy government National Institutes of Health site MedlinePlus, which also has an impressive list of possible pycnogenol health benefits. However, they are a bit more cautious in their endorsement of the stuff.

Or heck, you can skip the actual research and just take a little informative quiz!

1. What is Pycnogenol?

a) A super antioxidant, natural anti-inflammatory which selectively binds to collagen and elastin and aids in the production of endothelial nitric oxide which helps to vasodilate blood vessels;

b) A potent recreational drug which will cause you to see purple iguanas crawling out of people's ears;

c) A placebo made of powdered Kool-Aid and pine scented air-freshener as an elaborate prank to fool greedy unsuspecting health bloggers; or

d) A large anal suppository noted for its ability to raise your speaking and singing voice 3 octaves higher.

2. Which one of the following health or cosmetic benefits is Pycnogenol supplementation NOT associated with in at least some study or other?

a) Asthma and allergy relief;
b) Increasing skin elasticity, smoothness and wrinkle reduction;
c) Lowering blood pressure;
d) Improvements in cardiovascular health;
e) Reducing symptoms of osteoarthritis;
f) Improved cognitive function;
g) Reducing pelvic pain and menstrual disorders;
h) Fighting diabetes;
i) Lowering inflammation;
j) Reducing tinnitus (ringing in the ears);
k) Fighting varicose veins;
l) Increasing athletic endurance;
m) Enabling time travel up to 500 years forwards or backwards;
n) Reducing circulation problems like leg pain and fluid retention;
o) Treating retinal disease;
p) Improving joint health.

3. Possible Side Effects of Pycnogenol May Include:

a) the sudden appearance of extra toes or fingers;
b) a boost to the immune system, which can be problematic for auto-immune disorders; dizziness; gut problems; headache; and mouth ulcers;
c) a French accent;
d) invisibility.

Answers: 1: a; 2: m; and 3: b... but you knew that!

What Did Crabby Notice Most From Trying Pycnogenol for 12 weeks?

It was actually first pitched as a way to "maintain beautiful skin from the inside out." Which sort of assumes you have beautiful skin to maintain in the first place. Sadly, after 5 decades of playing out in the sun, that's not what I'm starting with. Can't say I noticed a huge difference, but maybe a bit more color? I will spare you before and after photos, mostly because I forgot to take any.

However, during the testing period I found it noticeably easier and easier to extend the duration of my cardio workouts, even at a challenging intensity! The whole "increasing athletic endurance" was definitely true in my case. Was it due to the pycnogenol or some other aspect of my ever-changing routine? I have to confess I was not the least scientific about my personal experimentation. During the same period I also switched up my method of HIIT, started eating nutritional yeast, discovered mushroom powder, and had a bikini wax. So it remains unclear the exact cause of my newfound ability to dance around like an absolute ass on the elliptical machine for twice as long. But I'm superstitious enough not to want to abandon the pycnogenol at this point.

And reading the research, there were so many potential health benefits to this stuff and no side effects that were relevant to me, so it seemed a reasonable thing to keep taking just on general principle. Plus it's not outrageously expensive or anything.

So, would you like to win some stuff that might get you glowy skin, super-endurance, relief from a bunch of nagging health problems? Just leave a comment below! I'll announce the random winner in a week. Be sure to check back before the end of the day Wednesday Feb 15th to claim your prize or a new random drawing will be held.

Do you guys have any favorite supplements? Or do you try to get everything you need from your healthy diet?

More Snacks: Scary Seaweed! Plus Re-Giveaway Winner

2012-01-30T12:14:00.000-05:00

Yep, we have a new winner of the HUMAN snack-pack and t-shirt giveaway!

Plus there's also a micro-post about snacking. Because the funny thing about snacking... even after you've said you're done, finished, that's absolute it for now? Somehow two minutes later you're all "well, hell, just one more..."

And what happened to the big ol' post I was going to do on an important, sensible, and much-loathed medical screening procedure I had done last week? Well, still waiting for lab results, and somehow it seemed like its asking for trouble to write the whole thing without knowing what the biopsy's gonna say. So stay tuned and there'll be a post later on that--because no doubt you are all just dying to know what Crabby has hidden up her... um, sleeve! Her blogging sleeve, yeah, that's it. There might be text and pictures and videos, who knows?

But First Off, Our Re-Giveaway Winner:

The new winner is Azusmom! And I'm always psyched when the RNG gets around to recognizing long-time Cranky Fitness commenters. Congrats, Azusmom, and please check in to claim your prize before the end of day Friday, or at this point I'll just arbitrarily assign a new re-re-giveaway winner.

Got a Favorite Snack that Frightens Bystanders?

Anyone else have some go-to snacks that seem to make those around you nervous? The more new health food novelties I experiment with (kale chips? Bright orange nutritional yeast sprinkled on everything?) the more I'm discovering a great side benefit: I can freely offer to share with those around me, and no one takes me up on it!

My new favorite, which I mentioned last time, is a seaweed snack that the sinister folks at Trader Joes are seducing innocent snackers with.

I was cheerfully oblivious for many years, because I've never been a sushi fan and thought "seaweed? No way!"

And the first time I tried one of these seaweed snacks, I almost spit it out. Eww! It tastes fishy, what a vile and disagreeable thing for a cracker to do! Who would eat these on purpose? That's... hmm, hang on... because it seems there is this also a nice little oily salty crunchy action going on behind the fish taste.... Maybe not so gross? Perhaps one more... No, Eww there's the fish again! Aack! But wait... mmm, oil and salt, yumm!

By the end of the first pack, sadly, I was hooked. Now, damn it, I am forced to visit Trader Joe's on an ever-escalating schedule. Because if I tried to buy a week, or god forbid, a month's, supply... I'd need a forklift and a dumptruck and it's hard to find parking for 'em in the crowded TJ's lot.

However, it could be worse: as it happens, there are lots of nifty seaweed health benefits, since sea vegetables have "anti-inflammatory, anti-cancer, anticoagulant, antithrombotic, and antiviral properties."

And despite the lovely oily/salty flavor, the nutritional info isn't too horrible at all:

Hate Me For Going On and On About Trader Joes 'Cause You Don't Have One?

Doesn't it suck that we can have a McDonalds on every freakin' corner throughout the world, and yet getting to your nearest Trader Joe's may require you to drive for 47 hours and cross through several large red states on your way? Well, there are other brands of seaweed snacks at Asian grocery stores and health food places. And I'm too much of a novice to have investigated other sea vegetables, or even tried the bit sheets of nori that aren't conveniently marketed and displayed as snacks. But I suspect these may be options as well.

Anyone else know of any Scary Snacks, either that you or others around you fear? Or any thoughts on anything at all?

Lazy Linkage: Let's Mess With Texas Edition

2012-01-26T11:44:00.001-05:00

Should we worry that this is the design on a Kids Extra Small T-shirt?

Photo: cafe press

Yep, it's time for one of those weird posts with bunch of miscellaneous stuff in it. And for absolutely no reason at all, it seems a good week to pick on Texas. Of course we apologize in advance to all of the awesome folks who live in Texas, like Mizfit! (Though does Austin really count as Texas?)

So, want to find out how Texas college kids are getting high these days, or why the New York Times is writing about pee, or perhaps where you might be able to score some free tea?

Join me for another lazy link roundup!

First up, do you think women who compete in World Championship amateur boxing events should have to wear skirts in order to differentiate them from men? Head over to Fit and Feminist for the full scoop and prepare to get steamed if you think that's nuts.

Everyone knows that tea has health benefits, and there's a great Fusion tea giveaway going on over at Desert Raven Art. (And if you haven't entered yet, don't forget the Cranky Fitness Healthy Snack and T-shirt Re-Giveaway either!)

Looking for more protein in your desserts? Why the Fitfluential folks love their balls.

Looks like a fun read: The Twitter Diet, by Rebecca Regnier from Does this Blog Make Us Look Fat? Not only does it look to be a cool approach to getting support during weight loss, it explains all about Twitter for those of us who just can't seem to get the hang of it! Definitely on my "to-read" list. Plus, it's in a nice affordable ebook format.

Want the scoop on a challenging pilates core workout you can do in a small space like a dorm room? College Candy has you covered! And they rounded up this excellent video tutorial with plenty of tips on proper form:

And to finally answer the Texas Teaser question: A recent survey revealed that 1 in 7 Texas college kids admitted to playing "the choking game" to get high. Sure, it's potentially lethal, but at least it's cheap! (Seriously, Texans?)

Random Stuff Copied From My Twitter Stream:

My favorite kind of study: Moderate red wine drinking doesn't seem to increase breast cancer risk. Cheers!

Except for mini desserts, love this list. I don't do anything "mini." RT @blogomomma: 2012's Trendiest Health Foods.

WTF? After tons of research saying "boost your Vitamin D levels," this one claims the low end of normal is best.

Study suggests natural transfats in meat and dairy don't have same bad effects as industrial ones.

Owning a car or tv raises heart attack risk: And yeah, its a global study. In the US, people have tvs IN their cars.

More memory boosters? B vitamins and folic acid. But isn't there a reason B supps are bad? @#$% I CAN'T REMEMBER!

"Coming Soon, Memory Boosting Pill" Can't come soon enough for me! But I ain't holding my breath. #soundslikehype

Scientists discover memory loss starts by the 40's. Hell they coulda saved the $$ and just asked me! #livingproof

Calcium + Vitamin D Supps may help weightloss: All this: calcium is good! No wait... calcium is bad! stuff confuses me.

I use my fingers, otherwise too many typos! RT @blogomomma: Should You Write with Your Head or Your Heart?

Good news for boomers who occasionally smoked pot: they scored a bit BETTER than non-users on cognitive tests.

Get more protein to keep from losing muscle, but extra protein won't "trick" body into shedding fat:

High blood levels of omega-3's, vitamins B, C, D and E may strengthen older brains; high transfats lead to crappy cognition.

Jane Brody explores the fascincating subject of: pee. Apparently lots of clues to health issues in urine.

Random reminder: if you've got a great link you'd like to see featured in this round-up, and aren't fussy about how long it might take to appear, please email or leave it in the comments!

And finally, this is totally irrelevant to anything above, but it cracked me up. Spotted by our pal Leah on the interwebs:

Attempt at photo credit: Somewhere on Facebook

Any thoughts on anything above or on something totally unrelated? Anyone know what happens to people who Mess With Texas?

Happy Trails: Thoughts on Camping, Plus A Re-Giveaway!

2012-01-23T10:00:00.000-05:00

All Photos by the clever Lobster

You know those inspiring photo-bloggers like Hilary at The Smitten Image who go out into the world, capture beautiful moments, and string them together with graceful prose? Not only do you get to enjoy stunning images of nature, but there's usually some sort of subtle but powerful observation about hope, or resilience, or the transience of life or some other deep topic.

Here at Cranky Fitness, we're not so highbrow.

Having just come back from a camping trip, I've been scratching my head trying to come up with some justification to post pictures, and nothing Deep is coming to mind. Somehow "hey, look at me out in the desert with the Lobster having a great time!" doesn't sound all that health-related, high-minded, or helpful. Especially given that some of you may be facing sleet, snow, rain, and/or locusts and plague, and may not be in the mood for our antics in the desert.

But, well, theme, schmeme, I've got a few pics to put up! And heck, you may want to stick around anyway for the Healthy Snack Re-Giveaway. Just leave a comment below if you've got a U.S. mailing address and would like to win a cute T-Shirt and Snack Assortment from the Human Vending Machine folks. Last weeks' winner didn't check back in in time to claim her prize, so I'll redraw from this weeks comments.

OK, so some random thoughts and pictures...

Things You Should Take With You To Go Camping:

Let's see, you definitely need a tent, some sleeping bags, backpacks, camp stove, water purifier, flashlights....

Hell no, you certainly don't! Not if you're spoiled and middle-aged. You just need this:

Fran the Van Returns!

And this:

The Lobster, Most Awesome Human Ever
And Expert at Doing All That Is Useful

As a younger person, I did plenty of the backpacking, hitchhiking, primitive camping thing. And while I still think it's a great character-building experience, I've got all the character I need now, thank you very much! Give me a bed, an indoor toilet, a tasty grilled steak (grassfed, organic, humanely raised, and shockingly expensive), a chilled bottle of champagne, and a cup of hot coffee in the morning that I don't have to rub two sticks together to produce.

Roughing It Is Overrated.

Things That Seem Like Bad Things Can Be Good Things:

So the above photo is cheating, because it's from a previous trip in which we encountered the dreaded news that the campground was full. However, like our detour to Bisbee, Arizona, the Full Campground sign that greeted us this time was really a blessing in disguise. We found out from the friendly folks at the visitors center that we could just park off-road until we needed hook-ups, and they sent us to a lovely spot with a nice view that was Free Free Free Free!

Being Out in Nature is Awesome Even if It's Not Your Favorite Kind of Nature.

Confession: neither of us are huge fans of your basic garden-variety desert landscape. We prefer mountains, coasts, forests, streams, or spectacular formations of red rocks like in Bryce, Zion, or Sedona.

But I know many of you totally dig the subtle beauty of a landscape not burdened with the distraction of lush green pretty things, or pretty much any color at all except for two minutes or so in spring when the wildflowers are out.

Well, Gray and Brown are Colors Too. Sort Of.

Yet... we're here in San Diego, and there's a desert close by, and so we went. And we had some really enjoyable hikes! We weren't quite quick enough with the camera, but we saw dozens of jack rabbits with big goofy ears, and we almost literally ran into some big horn sheep when we came around a corner and they were standing there staring at us. Oddly enough, they had really big horns.

And there was flora as well as fauna! Fortunately cactus are not as speedy as jack rabbits or big horn sheep so the Lobster managed to catch one or two.

Perhaps not the best place to take a seat.

Oh, and check this out: On our last night, The Lobster not only grilled us up our lovely steaks, she also managed to generate some smoke during the process that appears to be taking over the entire universe. Are your eyes itching right now? Sorry, but it was worth it for that delicious dinner!

Quick Quiz! Can you guess what this next series of 4 photos illustrates?

a. Trailaerobic Functional Conditioning! It's the next fitness craze I was going to announce that's going to make me a ton of money once I put out a DVD series. It requires no equipment at all, just access to a handy desert rock-strewn trail. And heck, so what if you live in, say, Anchorage or Saskatoon or Pittsburgh? What's a little airfare and RV rental when your fitness is at stake?! Operators are standing by.

b. A Cautionary Tale: What happens when you wake up feeling insanely energetic, proceed to drink way too much coffee anyway, hit the trail, get amped up listening to your favorite dj's awesome mp3 podcast...yet need to stick close to a more sensible hiking partner due to mountain lion warnings? You end up acting like a complete asshole on the trail and dancing around, skipping, improvising various workout moves, and hoping the mountain lions are too freaked out by your craziness to come snooping around.

c. Crabby Has Been Trying Hard To Get Back In Shape And Is Vain And Superficial Enough to Want to Show Off a Little. The supposed need for some trail-side workout pictures for a blog post... was it just a subconscious excuse to lift something on camera before my newly acquired muscle definition is gone again? Following surgery and various injuries, I couldn't hit the gym for quite a long time. Then I started dealing with some post-menopausal weight gain. So I started working out harder and even began counting calories. Lately it seems my efforts have finally started to pay off, and I'm feeling strangely fit, healthy, and energetic. Life being what it is, it probably won't be long before something else derails me or I get lazy, so I wanted to get something on camera ASAP!

The answer? All of the Above!

And now on to the Re-Giveaway:

If you've got a U.S. mailing address, just leave a comment on this post and I'll re-draw end of day Wednesday, January 25th. And be sure to check back before the end of the day Sunday the 29th to claim your prize!

Anyone else got any thoughts on mini-vacations, hiking, camping, being superficial, healthy vending machine snacks, feeling energetic, or life in general? It's all good!

Gone Campin'!

2012-01-20T10:59:00.001-05:00

Photo: The Lobster

OK, so actually, I'm just back from camping, but spending a few days in the desert means I've somehow accumulated a large and ugly "to do" list.

So while most fitness bloggers just back from an outdoor excursion would come back with a bunch of inspiring pictures and brilliant tips on making the most out of your hiking holiday... I've come back with a pile of stinky laundry and some heartfelt intentions to do some Serious Catching up over the weekend. And gosh, with my grueling blogging schedule of a couple of posts a week, in which I'm forced to write... well, whatever the hell I want--you can see how stressful it is to keep up.

But let's just say as a professional Life and Wellness Coach, I'm trying to set an example! So use this non-post as a reminder of how ~~laziness, procrastination, and rationalization~~ prioritizing, confronting perfectionism, and being flexible about goals can sometimes make life a lot easier!

Looking forward to seeing what you've all been up to! And I'll be back Monday with a real post.

Anyone else feeling inspired to skip something you were planning, or do a half-assed job of it, in order to make time for something else?

Tabatas: HIIT Made Evil (and Awesome)

2012-01-16T11:21:00.000-05:00

Photo: Tim Ellis

What's a Tabata? Simple: It's a 20/10 HIIT protocol repeated 8 times.

Wait, you want that in English? Sorry, let's try that again!

A Tabata is a form of High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT). Tabatas require 20 seconds of all-out effort, followed by 10 seconds of rest, and this cycle is repeated consecutively for a total of eight times. So it really is "simple," though it sure as hell ain't easy.

And you math majors are all probably way ahead of us here... yep, that's a FOUR MINUTE workout.

Everyone knows that that HIIT interval training comes with great health benefits. And there are lots of different approaches to doing interval training, including the program we introduced at Cranky Fitness a while back. Remember Somewhat High Intensity Interval Training? However, strangely enough, "doing S.H.I.I.T" never really caught on in the fitness community the same way that "doing Tabatas" has.

Go figure!

I'd been doing a rather slapdash, off and on HIIT program myself for years--but with fewer, longer, intervals than Tabatas, and with way more recovery time. But seeing that Tabatas were getting more and more popular, and inspired by Charlotte's recommendation over at The Great Fitness Experiment, it finally seemed time to check 'em out and report back.

It's been a few weeks now and... wow, they're, um, interesting!

Tabata Basics

A few important things to keep in mind when contemplating adding Tabatas to your fitness routine:

1. They're intense. You need to be in good shape before you start messing with high intensity intervals, or else you need to build up to them gradually. Check with your doctor first, and don't go suing me if you jump on a treadmill and have a heart attack your first time out. (Note: wouldn't it be amusing if every time someone told us "check with your doctor" before doing something, we all actually ran off and made appointments and dutifully went in and asked our busy doctors? I'm sure my PPO would just love that! But, um, seriously, it's probably the smart thing to do).

2. You should warm up for a few minutes first.

3. Choose a simple, demanding exercise. You should be using lots of large leg muscles so that you can work intensely enough to cause yourself to gasp for breath, curse the universe, and seriously ponder whether your heart might explode out of your chest.

This means the exercise can't be too complicated, dangerous, or reliant on small muscles that can tire out quickly. Sprinting on an uncrowded track or pathway, running up a hill, pumping away on an exercise bike at high resistance (especially standing up), cranking up the resistance on an elliptical, etc are good places to start.

Treadmills work well for some folks, but can be a bit scary for others. I, for example, fear that if I'm sprinting all-out to exhaustion, it would be all too easy for me to trip up and go flying off the back. And while pausing to suffer major life-threatening traumatic injuries might make a nice break from the Tabatas, they do come with health complications.

4. Consider getting some sort of interval timer. You will be amazed at how quickly your ability to count to three, let alone eight, is impaired when you are distracted by wanting to die. There are free phone apps if you have a smartphone that will give you a visual countdown and even blow a whistle at you. Note: not recommended for those suffering from PTHGCSD (Post Traumatic High School Gym Class Stress Disorder). I think this is the HIIT app I have. If you don't have a smart phone, some workout watches come with interval timers, or you can buy cheap stand alone gadgets that will keep track for you.

5. Don't do this more than 3 times a week; in fact, I'd recommend only once or twice a week. These get old very quickly! And once the novelty wears off I suspect they could easily make one start dreading workout times. You may want to alternate "official" Tabata intervals with adding other more flexible sprint intervals to your cardio workouts.

What Totally Sucks About Tabatas:

If you're doing them right, they get unpleasant rather quickly. The ten second "recovery" period feels like two seconds. You have to force yourself to pump harder and harder, even as your body is saying "Leave me the f@#ck alone goddamnit!"

Also, depending on where you work out, you may feel a bit conspicuous. You will be flailing around, gasping, possibly grunting, and definitely cursing. Doing Tabatas may make you look trendy in some settings but in others you may seriously freak people out.

What's Mind-Blowingly Fantastic About Tabatas

They are amazingly fast and efficient and gratifying. You will feel SO damn smug when you're done! They rev up your metabolism, blast fat, boost your mitochondria, and help you feel superhuman. It's counterintuitive, but research suggests that somehow these super-short workouts also boost your endurance as well as your peak efforts. They leave you with a lovely pumped-up feeling long after you're done.

Tabata Variations

You may find it easier to stick to Tabatas over the long haul if you can find ways to mix it up, either across workouts or even within a single workout. Charlotte has a great article featuring a bunch of Tabata variations over at Shape. Or for the testosterone-soaked version, T-Nation has a big bad-ass list as well, including barbell, kettlebell and bodyweight variations.

I'm thinking if you have a workout partner, some sort of race, contest, or competition might add a bit of real-time motivation. (Although pie-eating or beer drinking competitions are not highly recommended for this purpose).

Personally, I've experimented with spinning bikes, ellipticals, a stepper, and a dumbbell/bodyweight series of 4 exercises repeated twice. They all were great! And by "great" I mean, of course, excruciatingly awful.

Anyone else doing Tabatas or other sorts of HIIT? Or does this all sound like crazy talk?

HUMAN T-Shirt and Snack Pack Giveaway Winner

2012-01-16T11:12:00.000-05:00

And the winner of our healthy snack giveaway is... Kim!

Kim, please send mailing info, as well as T-shirt size and style (Men's or Women's) by the end of the day Wednesday to: Crabby McSlacker at gmail dot com. And congratulations!

And to those of you dreaming of healthy vending machine options at your work-place, school, or gym, don't forget the HUMAN folks are handing out $250 rewards for successful referrals.

Thanks for stopping by; new post up in a minute or two!

What's On Your Workout Playlist?

2012-01-13T19:54:00.000-05:00

Photo by The Lobster

Looking for workout tunes?

And say, wouldn't it be nice if some blogger assembled a vast collection of awesome songs that totally transformed your workouts from a dreary chore to a blissful celebration of movement and music?

Well sorry, I ain't that blogger. In fact, musical taste is so personal, passionate, and persnickety that no matter who claims to have the best workout playlist, it will, for most people, suck in some way or another.

But you've got to start somewhere in locating new faves, right? And over at Shape Magazine they've got a great round-up of workout playlist selections from 13 health and fitness bloggers. Some contributors may sound familiar to you... like perhaps Charlotte of The Great Fitness Experiment and Jenn of the FBG's?

Though of course it would also be nifty if you'd stop by Page 7 of the Shape story, to check out what The Crabby One regards as some of her favorite workout tunes. Or actually, who cares about the songs? I just get all excited when a media outlet mistakenly refers to me as "a top health and fitness blogger" and would send y'all over even if the article were about ear wax removal or constipation remedies.

Note: there seems to be some disagreement as to what a "beat" is when it comes to "beats per minute" (or BPM's). Apparently I'm playing "slow" music and going double-time. Whatever!

What do you guys like to listen to when you work out? Suggestions greatly appreciated!

Healthy Snacks Ideas, Gripes, and a Giveaway!

2012-01-09T09:24:00.001-05:00

I Won't Even Speculate As To What Strange Ritual Is Going On Here.

Photo: Plan 59

Hungry... but it's not quite mealtime yet?

Some folks have a "no snacking between meals" policy. If that's part of your particular dietary religion, then so sorry! You'll have to suck it up, distract yourself, and wait until the clock tells you it's time to eat again. Just try not to think of any of sweet or salty or crispy or creamy or rich or flavorful favorites you might have--you know, those delicious treats you absolutely love that would taste so so good right now if only it were the right time of day? Yeah, just don't think about them or imagine yourself enjoying them, because how frustrating would that be when you can't have any?

Hey, did that help? You're welcome!

Many of us, however, embrace snacking--especially me! I am ~~a big oinky unrestrained gluttonous pig~~ an enthusiastic consumer of all kinds of foods (though mostly healthy). I figure if I'm hungry, and an official meal is not imminent, then hell, it's time for me to forage up a snack.

What's my biggest gripe about snacking?

It's the lack of healthy convenient options! Most packaged or fast-food snacks are Evil, and yet I'm lazy, and I sometimes like to leave my house. You would think with the bazillions of dollars the food and restaurant industry rakes in, there would be a few more options for us healthy types, wouldn't you? Yet despite the claims on labels and menus, most of the snack items marketed as "healthy" are pure crap.

Wouldn't it be nice if say, the vending machine in your office was packed full of healthier options than chips and candy bars? Well, turns out there's a company trying to do that, called HUMAN. Annabel from Feed Me, I’m Cranky told me about their attempts to improve the sad state of snacking in workplaces and schools around the country. And they're hosting a giveaway!

So, let's talk snacks... and who knows, perhaps you may win a gift pack of healthy snacks, along with a mighty cool T-shirt!

What Does Healthy Snacking Even Mean?

Of course everyone has a different idea of what "healthy" is.

And hey, just for fun, let's let the Vegans and the Primal folks and the Weight Watchers all duke it out:

Which snack is the Most Evil and which is the Most Acceptable?

(a) A serving of fried chicken skins;
(b) A Krispy Kreme Fruit Pie; or
(c) A 140 calorie serving of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Sundae?

As the links and the associated dietary agendas will confirm, all of these snacks are either A-OK, or Absolutely Forbidden, depending on which camp you're in. So let's disabuse ourselves of notion of a universal solution, shall we?

But heck, since it's my blog and all, here are some of my very personal and arbitrary standards for healthy snacking. Please pass on your own better ideas down in the comments!

Crabby's Personal Snacking Principles:

1. The snack item should not contain more hundreds-of-calories than there are hours before the next meal.

Whoa, that sounds like crazytalk doesn't it? What I mean is, 100 calories buys me about an hour before I'm hungry again. If I've got 2 hours until the next meal, my snack probably shouldn't be over 200 calories.

2. The snack should contain at least some protein and fiber, and ideally it should not have a high glycemic load. Bonus points if vegetables are involved. This increases satiety, nutrition, and contributes to a pleasant sense of smugness.

3. The snack should ideally be made entirely of organic local whole foods that were cultivated, prepared and delivered by cheerful well-compensated individuals in inspiring, life-affirming workplaces. But failing that, I'd at least like to avoid toxic snacks full of transfats and known carcinogens, and I'd like to minimize sodium, sugar, refined grains, gratuitous and non-nutritive calories, and artificial flavorings and colorings. (Though I do have a sweet tooth and thus somehow rationalize the use of sucralose, stevia, and erythritol. Whatever.)

4. The snack should not taste crappy.

5. However, the snack also can't taste too delicious unless portion control measures are in place.

(For example, I can easily consume an entire days worth of calories in 10 minutes eating trail mix, and still be sniffing around the cupboards looking for more. Even the healthiest of dried fruit and nut combos can be a nutritional disaster unless I throw a reasonable amount in a baggie and march my ass straight out the door).

A Few Healthy Snack Ideas

See how small this list is? That's 'cause I need help! If you have some good ideas or links to blog posts or other resources for healthy snacks, please put them in the comments and I'll try to add them.

Raw Veggies with Healthy Dip (hummus, guacamole, yogurt-based dips etc)
Canned wild salmon (mushed with a bit of goat cheese or mayo and onion). (Trader Joe's is rumored to have bpa free linings, even if they don't promote it).
Hard-boiled eggs
Meat or fish jerky (naturally preserved, not the junk-food kind)
Fruit!
Nuts
Yogurt without a bunch of sugar added
Veggie chips: kale, sweet potato, etc. (And by that I don't mean potato or corn or rice chips flavored with veggies, but actual vegetable chips. These can be hard to find unless you make 'em yourself or pay the folks at Brad's Raw Chips to fix some up for you).
Seaweed snacks (my current obsession; I also get these from TJ's).
Popcorn
Whole grain crackers with meat or cheese or a sensible spread or dip
Almond or peanut butter and bananas
Dark chocolate
A Very Small Plate of Last Night's Leftovers

See? I need help here!

So What's The Deal With the Vending Machines and the Giveaway?

So apparently the HUMANs are trying to get their vending machines in more places. They're offering to pay folks to find places like schools, gyms, or corporate locations that might be up for a healthier vending machine option. You fill out a referral form, and if they end up placing a machine there, you get $250.00.

Also, in order to help publicize their efforts, they're giving away "a sample pack of some of the items we sell in our machines, including Larabars, Clif Z Bars, Zico Coconut Water and more, as well as a HUMAN-branded t-shirt." Which is apparently and ideal gift for any headless friends or relatives you have who need cute clothing items!

They also have a guys-style T-shirt available.

So if you'd like to enter, just leave a comment below (a healthy snack idea would be nice, but not mandatory). We'll hold the random drawing in a week. (Note: this is yet another giveaway that requires a U.S. mailing address, sorry about that!)

And do remember to check back; if you win, you need to claim your prize before the end of the day on Wednesday January 18th or there will be a new drawing.

Good luck!

So, anyone have any thoughts, gripes, or healthy snack ideas? I'm suddenly very hungry!

Lazy Linkage: Making New Friends Edition

2012-01-05T11:59:00.001-05:00

Photo: Fazen

Hey, it's a new year, and a good time for new ventures and new experiences, right?

In "real life," The Lobster and I are challenging ourselves to get off our asses and meet new friends. We've started spending winters in San Diego, and wow, there are lots of nice people here! However, it took us a while to figure out that in order to meet these people, we actually have to venture outside of the house. Furthermore, it turns out you need to do things like initiate conversations with strangers, follow up when things click, and get dates on calendars... yikes!

But as you might predict, we're finding the effort is well worth it. Cool people who are fun to hang out with live here! And as any self-improvement guru will tell you, adding connectedness and a sense of community makes life richer and more meaningful. (Plus, it's great for rides to the airport).

The nice thing about the Blogosphere though, as opposed to real life, is that you can be the laziest health and fitness blogger on the planet, and rarely leave your blog "house," and fun helpful people will come visit you and entertain you and point you to new resources!

So, wanna meet some new webfriends, plus find out why you should eat more zombie food, and stop gorging on spandex no matter how delicious it tastes?

Say hello to...

The webcomic The Juanelo Show, brought to you in English by a talented and hardworking team of "translation monkeys." Nice folks behind this strip, and at least one of them reads Cranky Fitness, hooray! (Click to enlarge).

And meet the awesome Mary Sisson! She has a cool looking sci-fi ebook for sale, called Trang, as well as lots of info (and encouragement) on the DIY self-publishing front. She's the inspiration behind one of my new years resolutions, so you'll have to ~~blame~~ thank Mary when I start using the blog to pimp for my novel as well as my Life and Wellness Coaching practice!

The website Fitnessbeans, which is aimed a bit more at guys. Why is this awesome news for this blog, even though it has tons of female readers? Well, because (a) guys exercise resources like this one are often more straightforward and challenging than the "tiny pink weights" stuff aimed at women. Plus, (b) with a bunch of hetero female readers I love to find sites crammed with beefcake photos so I can slip them in totally gratuitiously! And they've got tons.

Photo: fitnessbeans

And finally, reader Our Lady of Forever Homes introduced me to a cool concept: Just1Moon, which hooks you up with a yahoo group and Facebook page to try to provide goal sharing and encouragement. And who doesn't need support and encouragement?

Now on to...

Stuff Copied from my Twitter feed 'cause I'm so damn lazy:

(Note: I've heard reports that my twitter feed isn't showing up on the blog, but I see it fine on my computer. Anyone else not seeing it on the right sidebar?)

Eat your way to a better brain! Study touts leafy greens, fish, nuts, and zombie food (organs).

Controversy:Is spandex making Americans fat? Wow, I had no idea people were eating that much of it! Oh wait, you mean... Never mind.

Study: eating fish boosts brain volume if you don't fry it. ("It" meaning the fish--but don't fry your brain either).

"Cancer Survivors Should Take Steps to Keep Healthy During Holidays" So the rest of the year, just say screw it?

Study: taking brief walk decreases desire to shove "fun-sized" chocolates down your gullet at work.

Vitamin D helps prevent fractures, but only with help from calcium. I'm guessin' Not Falling Down helps too.

Ab exercises for throughout the day--if you're don't mind looking like an ass in public. (btw, I've been that ass)

2 for 1: Active nonsmokers with good BMI, diet, cholesterol, BP & glucose at less risk of heart disease AND cancer.

Study: less risk of dementia for women who are active early in the day. So go early birds, chase those worms!

Study: gender differences in math/science due to cultural, not genetic factors. So time to get geeky, girls.

Low carb wins another round in diet wars: may work better than low cal for weight loss and lowering insulin.

Nice roundup of natural ways to lower blood sugar, if you've got the patience for a slideshow: (Or, hit print at top )

Marathon running can damage right ventrical: More study needed, but meanwhile, awesome excuse for not running one!

Study: upping fiber more crucial than nixing saturated fat to avoid metabolic syndrome. Thus the bacon kettlecorn spotted at Whole Foods?

Way More New and Old Friends to Thank!

As you might have noticed, I tend to be terribly lazy and thus totally random about visiting blogs, responding to comments, passing on links etc. I would love to get better and translate all the gratitude in my head to actual public acknowledgement, because I LOVE all the folks who leave comments and email etc. I just sort of hope that those of you who brighten my day through the blog are psychic and totally get how much your comments and readership and support and ideas mean to me! And feel free to nudge me with an email or a comment if you have a special post you'd like to share in a future roundup, because I might well miss it on my own.

Anyway, has anyone else met any new friends or helpful resources lately, whether IRL or through the web? Thoughts on anything else? And again, thanks everyone!

Got New Year Resolutions?

2012-01-03T10:58:00.001-05:00

Photo: creepyed

I've never been much of a believer in New Year's Resolutions. Such a ridiculous ritual! Let's dither around all year, then go totally hog-wild with self-indulgence over the holidays. Because never fear: "resolving" to change our ways will somehow confer magical powers come January 1!

A lifetime of crappy self-defeating habits will be vanquished effortlessly, to be replaced by a shiny new healthy and virtuous lifestyle. And all we have to do is promise ourselves to try harder as soon as the calendar says it's 2012. What's not to like about such crazypants logic?

But what the hell. For some reason I'm totally into it this year.

So sign me up for a full slate of Sincere Self-Improvement Initiatives! And don't forget to include my complimentary gift basket full of Inflated Expectations: I'm thinking the traditional delusions will do nicely, so I'm looking forward to Enormous Willpower, Endless Patience, A Totally Supportive Environment, Flawless Execution, and Amazing Results. What could possibly go wrong?

Anyone else got some self-improvement plans and thinking about actually following through this year?

Since I almost never make New Year's resolutions, I'll keep the advice brief. What the hell do I know? You're probably much better off ignoring this whole section and just consulting Jack Sh*t's New Years Resolutions To Avoid list. But if you've already read this far, a few tips on...

How To Stick To Your New Year's Resolutions

1. Don't make them.

2. Just make a handful, not a few dozen. (Unless you've got handy clones or robots or multiple personalities, then go ahead and delegate).

3. Set "baby-step" interim targets--the babier the step, the better. "I'm going to eat nothing but vegetables and lean protein from now on!"... Er, good luck with that, especially if you're starting from the ludicrous Typical American diet. Adding one additional vegetable a day and swapping out healthy snack for the 5,000 calorie Starbucks concoction you try to pretend is just "coffee?" A much more achievable goal. You can always add more virtue later.

4. Most folks who are not psychotic find that a resolution works best if it is somewhat reality-based.

Note: "The Biggest Loser," while a 'reality' show, does not actually set forth examples of reality-based goal-setting. Losing half your body weight or going from sedentary to superhero in a matter of months is not a reasonable expectation.

5. Spend a crapload of time planning, scheduling, anticipating obstacles, working up contingency plans, devising rewards, and pumping yourself up when your motivation flags. (Which it will, trust me. Learning how to get 'back on track' over and over again will lead to eventual success. Shooting for perfection and then bailing when setbacks happen is an enormously popular alternative; sadly, it doesn't actually work.)

6. Track your progress and hold yourself accountable. You can use a journal, spreadsheet, online calendar, smartphone app or whatever.

7. Get support! If you've got a sympathetic family member, buddy, coworker, imaginary friend, or online community that will cheer your accomplishments and encourage you when you're struggling, take advantage of 'em!

And speaking of support and accountability...

As I mentioned, I'm weirdly fired up this year to tweak some old goals and take on some new ones. But heck, I could use the prospect of public humiliation on the blog as a handy motivational tool. Isn't that why they invented health and fitness and weight loss blogs in the first place? I'm also curious about whether anyone else has some ideas in mind for the coming year. And won't it be fun to check back in 2013 and see how we all did?

Wait, where are you going?

Seriously, is anyone else up for sharing some of their plans for 2012, whether Resolution based or not? I'm a pessimist by nature, but for some reason I'm thinking this is the year we're all gonna kick ass.

A few of my goals for 2012:

1. Meditation. I swear this is the year I'm going to get better! I've kinda started again despite the fact I suck at it, but I'd like to get consistent and do an average of 1/2 hour a day. Of course I've been saying this off and on for at least two decades, but damn it, this time I really mean it. I've found yet another new resource that seems to be helping a lot! (And no worries if you're curious...of course I'll be blogging about it).

2. Handstand pushups. A goofy goal somewhat like my quest to do pull-ups. I love the idea that if I ever ended up in prison or a locked mental health facility, all I'd need is a handy wall to work my shoulders. (Is this my only fitness goal? Nah, I got a slew of crazy-ass schemes and aspirations, but this one is probably the most realistic and the simplest to explain).

3. Get a colonoscopy. I'm a year late, and gosh, how could I have waited this long when the whole thing sounds like so much fun? Even spellcheck thinks a colonoscopy is really just a "cloudscape" or a "kaleidoscope," so how bad could it be?

4. Get more productive online: Update the blog, do a better job promoting my Life Coaching site, and write at least a few blog posts that don't suck so that more people will come here and hang out.

5. Find more healthy tasty recipes and actually make them rather than just save them for "later." Magazine clippings look pretty but don't taste all that great.

6. Self publish. To start with, I've got a not-actually-terrible novel I wrote a few years ago. I'm still weirdly attached to the characters, and feel like I'm letting them down by keeping them imprisoned in the back of a closet along with a pile of smelly old tennis shoes I can't bring myself to toss out. I'm hoping to dig up a few kind beta reader/reviewers and then put out an ebook. And if that process turns out to be doable, perhaps a launch of a series of Cranky Fitness Self-Help ebooks for 2013? A crab can dream...

So is anyone else up for sharing a few 2012 goals? I was totally impressed by all your 2011 accomplishments in the last post, so am very curious what you might be up to this year!

Celebrate!

2011-12-30T12:47:00.000-05:00

Photo: Tim Hamilton

So, it’s almost January 1… are you getting all psyched to change your entire life in a few days with a whole slew of earnest and optimistic New Year’s resolutions?

Or perhaps you regard the whole resolution routine as a futile and somewhat amusing cultural exercise in self-delusion? No worries! Either way, what with a fresh new year almost upon us, it does seem a handy time for a bit of reflection and self-assessment.

However, before we all start running around figuring out how we can be fit, slim, well-rested, courageous, non smoking debt-free vegan triathletes with clean closets and abs of steel, might it first make sense to do a little celebrating of all the things we DID manage to tackle and triumph over in 2011?

Wait, what do you mean there isn’t much to celebrate?

Of course there is!

Even if you’re one of MizFit’s Honest 82% who didn’t technically ‘succced” on last year’s resolutions, and may be recycling them again this year... I bet there are all kinds of awesome things you did this year that you deserve a pat on the back for.

So, wanna find out How to Find and Celebrate This Years Accomplishments, Cranky Fitness Style?

1. Make it easy: Celebrate the Obvious

Did you accomplish something big and meaningful this year? Or even last year, what the hell, we’re not too picky here. Did you graduate from something, give birth to someone, win an award, launch something new, break a personal record, lose a bunch of weight, celebrate a Big Anniversary, finish a novel, or otherwise Succeed in Doing Something Hard You Weren’t Sure You Could Manage? Well go ahead, revisit your triumph and celebrate all over again! The end of the year is a great tme to recall your ass-kicking triumph and bask in the warm glow of smug self-congratulation.

All too often, people who are conscientious and hard-working will finally achieve a long sought after goal… then immediately jump to the next thing on the list and start pressuring themselves without ever stopping to wallow sufficiently in their own awesomeness. Sure, if you do it frequently and out loud, others may think you’re an egotistical asshole. But there’s no law against jumping up and down in your own head and shouting “No wonder I won Widget Salesperson of the year, I did an incredible job selling the crap out of those stupid freakin’ Widgets!”

2. Aim Low: Celebrate the “trivial”

Here at Cranky Fitness, we’re big believers in Baby Steps. Did you dig out the exercise bike out from under the pile of crap in your garage and start pedaling 20 minutes a week? Hooray for you if that’s 20 minutes more than you were doing before! Did you lose a little weight, or discover a new vegetable you don’t hate this year? Did you compete in a race, start biking to work, finally repaint that ugly guest bedroom? Break out the champagne and noisemakers, no doubt you did some damn thing or another this year that you can feel proud of. Spend a few minutes recalling even the little triumphs, it's far healthier than ruminating over the Stuff that Sucked.

3. Make it subjective: Celebrate Effort, Courage and Endurance

As you may have already have discovered: Life is Not Fair. So there’s no use letting arbitrary, superficial external measures of success govern your own sense of accomplishment and self-worth. Did you do an amazing job starting a new exercise program and yet the scale didn’t move? Did you make a huge contribution to your workplace and still end up with a pink slip when budgets got cut?

If you worked hard this year, tried new things, endured scary or ugly or unfortunate situations with grace and good humor, and just generally made lemonade (or margaritas) when life handed you lemons… then give yourself huge amounts of credit.

External success will come later... when life is finally good and done f#@cking with you.

4. Ditch jealousy: Celebrate the Successes of Others

If an acquaintance, friend, coworker or family member achieved something impressive this year, we all know what we’re supposed to do: smile and cheer and hug them and wish them our sincerest congratulations. And yet… sometimes the success of others can trigger a subconscious feeling of jealousy or inadequacy. (Or heck, sometimes the feeling isn’t subtle and subconscious at all, sometimes it’s a big seething stinky pile of nastiness that’s hard to ignore, especially if the party is all gloaty and obnoxious and the “success” was via good luck rather than merit).

So, how to be sincere in your happiness for this other person and thus garner more happiness and celebration for yourself? Well, unless the person is truly an undeserving dickhead, the answer probably lies in decoupling your own sense of self-worth from comparsions to others and to superficial measures of success. There is actually enough joy and happiness to go around for everyone, and YOU are the one responsible for your own feelings of self-worth. If the triumphs of others are getting you down, spend extra time looking for your own strengths and achievements and congratulate yourself. And then take that little smidgen of unpleasant resentment and repurpose it as motivation to set some realistic achievable goals you’ll feel proud of yourself for completing this year.

5. Have fun! Celebrate Continued Existence

Made it to the end of 2011 alive? Hooray for you, celebrate just for the hell of it, and have an awesome New Year’s Eve Weekend!!

So, anyone have anything to celebrate in any of the above categories? Here are a few off my list:

1. The Obvious: Dusted off underutilized but perfectly serviceable psychotherapy experience, reactivated MFT license, and retrained as a Life & Wellness Coach. Started a practice, found awesome clients to work with, and semi-resurrected the formerly deceased Health and Fitness blog you are now reading.

2. The “Trivial”: Lost a bit of belly fat, and regained the ability to do unassisted pull ups and chin ups. (Am now up to 4 chinups, yay me!)

3. Effort and Experimentation: Recovered from a broken arm and a hysterectomy, which meant having to bust my ass in order to get back to where I left off before I got sidelined. I’ve been playing around with spinning class, bicycling, stair steppers, body weight exercises, tabita intervals and a bunch of other random (and quite possibly stupid and dangerous) cross training moves. Also, I revamped my eating plan to ditch a few more refined carbs and include way more weird, ugly, and extraordinarily healthy foods.

4. Other’s successes: I’ve genuinely enjoyed seeing fellow fitness bloggers and tweeters gain increased recognition with their inspiring books, panel presentations, magazine articles, awards, tv interviews etc. Charlotte, Carla, Joyce and the FBG's leap immediately to mind, but there are many more! And family and friends have given me lots to celebrate as well… marriages (especially the gay ones…and yeah so sue me, I’m a bit biased), births, new ventures, anniversaries, exciting relocations and happy travels... all good stuff and made me very happy and vicariously proud!

5. And Existence: Hey, I'm alive and not even incarcerated or anything! Hooray! I’ll drink to that!

How about you guys? Anything you’re celebrating this New Year’s, whether it’s a little thing or a huge amazing accomplishment?

The Gratitude Thing

2011-12-26T11:47:00.000-05:00

Photo credit: Limevelyn

It’s not exactly breaking news that gratitude is a good thing. Psychologists, medical scientists, spiritual leaders, friendly fitness magazines, talk show hosts, your grandmother...everyone seems to be in agreement that you need a whole hell of a lot more of it.

In fact, happiness research studies reveal a bunch of cool benefits you get from feeling grateful. People who consciously cultivate gratitude have better health, achieve more of their goals, exercise more, sleep better, improve their relationships, become more generous, experience more positive feelings, and are way less of a pain in the ass for other people to deal with.

And unlike other reliable sources of mood elevation (i.e. chocolate, music, massages, champagne, sex, naps, double cappuccinos etc) gratitude can be enjoyed any time of day, in almost any situation. Plus, gratitude is free!

So now that we've got our year-end griping out of the way, some of us are getting ready to embark on New Years Resolutions That Will Magically Turn Us Into Extraordinary Super-Humans. If getting in touch with gratitude can super-charge our optimism, goal achievement, sleep, relationships, health, motivation, and happiness, that's gotta be handy, right?

Cultivating Gratitude

Some people are naturally more grateful. It doesn't matter what crappy circumstances they find themselves in, these folks always find plenty of things to be thankful about. (What? Susie got sent home from second grade with head lice? Well that's excellent! Let's both stay home from work, borrow a microscope and make a biology lesson out it while we boil our bedding!) Others of us, sadly, have to wrestle a little harder with our Inner Crabs in order to turn our natural-born grumbling into gratitude.

Some Obvious Reminders about How to Be More Grateful:

1. Make an Effort to Stop and Appreciate Stuff That Makes You Happy

Sure, we all know this is smart, but do you actually make a conscious effort to do it? If not, don't feel bad: apparently, due to a neurological negativity bias, we humans naturally suck at this. Our brains are wired so that all the shitty stuff that happens during the day stands out much more in our minds than the good stuff. (The evolutionary theory being that if our prehistoric ancestors failed to remember how lovely a sunrise looked or how pretty a flower smelled, it wasn't a big deal. However, if they forgot which berries poisoned Uncle Throg or what happens if you step on a nest of cobras, those spacey genes had a much smaller chance of getting passed down.)

So tell your hyper-vigilant cavewoman or caveman brain to chill out. Remind yourself that you haven't noticed any cobras on the subway lately, and it's perfectly ok to be happy and appreciative. Take half a minute to to savor that excellent cup of coffee, that unexpected compliment, that quiet evening at home, or that $178 million lotto jackpot you just won. (Ok, you probably don't need instructions on that last one, but if it happens and you have any questions, just invite me over and I'll be happy to help).

2. Set Up Some Structure

Hopelessly hokey, right? And I have to confess: just looking at the photo of the "Gratitude Rocks" journal at the top of the post makes me feel a bit barfy. The only reason I deleted a sarcastic caption was my fear that the woman who took it might google her image and come here and see the caption and get her feelings hurt. Wait, but what if she came here and actually stuck around to read this far down the post? Yikes!! (I'm so sorry, nice gratitude journal lady! It's just a little cranky here sometimes, which is all the more reason Crabby needs your fine photo even if its perky sincerity does make her head throb).

Anyway, if you are like me, you may have discovered that a vague intention to embark on a self-improvement scheme rarely results in anything actually happening unless accompanied by a plan and some method of accountability.

So if you want to start feeling more grateful, study after study shows that keeping a list or a journal helps. Other ideas: a bedtime routine of thinking of 5 things to feel grateful for before you close your eyes or a commitment to trade weekly gratitude emails with a friend. (An idea stolen from Jenn and Tish of the Fabulous FBG's). Or how about periodic reminders in your calendar program to take a deep breath and appreciate something? A visit to Leah's or Jody's blogs that have weekly gratitude posts you can connect with and comment? Any system you can come up with that helps you step back and recognize some of the awesome things in life you have to be grateful for is worth a try.

3. Play "It Could Be Worse"

This one rarely works for me, but I'll pass it on because so many people use it successfully. "Oh you got talked into rollerblading against your better judgment, and broke your leg in three places? Well, be grateful they didn't have to amputate!"

It's true that things could always be worse, and keeping this in mind makes many people feel grateful for their relative health and happiness. It's just that for me, reminders that Even More Horrible Things Could Happen tend to make me anxious that they're on the way instead of grateful that they haven't arrived yet.

4. Find the Silver Lining.

OK, so back to the example of breaking your leg in three places. What if this most unwelcome event results in you fearing weight gain from not doing your normal routine? And so you finally feel motivated enough to institute a new healthy eating program that you've been meaning to do for years. And then let's say during the recovery period you're introduced to all kinds of physical therapy tricks, cross training methods, stress reduction techniques, and positive-thinking habits that you would have blown off if you weren't feeling all frustrated and desperate. It could be that by the time you're healed from your broken leg, you find yourself in a healthier, happier, more balanced place than had you not had the Stupid Crappy Event happen to you in the first place.

The older I get, the more I've become convinced that Silver Linings are not just for the naturally optimistic. Because these happy accidents are reality, not just positive thinking! Depending on how they're handled, even "obviously" awful things can result in more positive consequences than negative ones.

Have you ever witnessed a heartbreaking divorce that led to much happier marriages for both parties? Or a totally unfair layoff that instigated a depressing job search... that landed a much more exciting job elsewhere? Or a health scare that led to major positive lifestyle changes? Smaller, boring, everyday examples abound: you miss your usual bus and end up sitting next to someone who tells you about a one-day sale at your favorite clothing store, and you stop there after work and get a winter coat you absolutely love for 85% off! Noticing and appreciating the good things that come from bad things gives you more to feel grateful about. And as a bonus, this mindset makes "bad" things seem far less depressing--because you realize there could actually be sneaky positive outcomes down the road even if they're not immediately apparent.

5. Create More Things to be Grateful For

What if you're going around trying your hardest to find things to be grateful for, but they're mighty few and far between in your current situation? You hate your job, your apartment is noisy and depressing, you're constantly bickering with your significant other, you're a City Girl living in a sleepy suburban bedroom community or you're a tree-huggin' mountain-climbing outdoorsy type penned up in a tiny studio in a ugly concrete neighborhood...

Well, in addition to the "attitude adjustment" piece, it's possible that you might want to look at some long-range planning to get more good stuff in your life so that you naturally feel more grateful and don't have to work so hard to appreciate those little golden nuggets of unsuckiness.

Start with looking at where you want to be a few years from now. How might you make that happen? What are your options? What steps will you take to get there? What will you do TODAY to propel yourself in the right direction? The more specific you get, the less chance you'll still be complaining about the same crappy situation decades from now.

(And, um, that brings us to a tacky reminder that if you need some help in this process, we know of a Life and Wellness Coach who has special Half Off life coaching rates! But sadly, the Big-Ass discount is due to expire in a few days. Folks who email to set up an intake before January 1st 2011 can get in on the old rates, though if you're not quite ready--fear not! There will still be some sort of Cranky Fitness reader discount going forward, just perhaps not as large).

6. Start Appreciating Things... Right Now!

Heck, it'll only take you a few seconds to think of something.

I'll go first!

Because while I'm a notoriously cranky, whiny human, I would have to be a total moron not to realize how lucky I am. For me not to be grateful on a daily basis would be a ridiculous squandering of good fortune. (I also harbor a suspicion that if I fail to be properly grateful for things, the universe might up and take 'em away to teach me a lesson).

So my list could easily be a hundred items long and we ain't got all day. I'll just grab a few off the top:

1. The Lobster (wife of 21 years and IMHO the finest human on the planet);
2. A weird and wonderful bicoastal lifestyle (San Diego and Provincetown, two amazing places to live);
3. A happy career transition to Life Coaching, complete with Totally Inappropriate Marketing Platform and awesome, inspiring, amazing clients;
4. A supportive and kind family;
5. Clever, fun and generous friends, both near and far;
6. An amazing online community of bloggers and readers who inspire me and crack me up, as well as big funny successful sites like College Candy that kindly include me sometimes in their link roundups;
7. Mostly Excellent health;
8. Access to nutritious and delicious food as well as Inexcusable but Delightful Junk On Occasion;
9. Time and resources to exercise a lot and feel all energetic and strong; and finally,
10. Coffee, without which nothing else would be possible because I'd remain curled up in the fetal position all day.

Anything you feel especially grateful for today? Do you have a regular gratitude practice or any plans to start one? Ideas for feeling more appreciation? Or heck, be a week late and be completely disgruntled instead, it's all good!

What Sucked This Year: Health & Fitness Edition

2011-12-19T09:14:00.000-05:00

So we're heading into the holidays, and soon it will be a new year. It's supposed to be the time even grumps and Grinches manage to turn those frowns upside down, right?

'Tis the season for reflection and heart-felt appreciation. Doesn't it just make you wanna dive into a big gooey vat of love, gratitude, and joy and splash around in it for a while?

Wait, some of you aren't feeling it yet? What's wrong with you?!

Well I say nothing's wrong that a little pre-holiday griping won't cure.

Because at least for some of us, it's important to get our accumulated year-end complaints properly whined about before there can be any talk about looking on the bright side, or transforming ourselves with a sparkling new collection of Uplifting and Virtuous New Year's resolutions.

So yeah, this will be the first in a brief series of ~~too lazy to do any actual research~~ "Get Ready for the New Year" posts, and I promise we'll get to the joy and gratitude and redemption stuff soon enough. But meanwhile, let's turn those frowns Right Side Up and rest our smiley muscles, shall we? (How else will we have the strength to muster up enough forced smiles to negotiate awkward holiday office parties and extended family gatherings?) Instead, let's take a few moments to piss all over that "Happy Holiday Spirit."

And hey, I'll go first! Here's a quick list of my health and fitness annoyances, both personal and societal. But I'm hoping some of you have some fresh new grievances so I can join you and add some cross-training to my grumbling routine.

1. Contradictory research studies: This is a perennial complaint here at Cranky Fitness. As it happens, I am one of those neurotic freaks who will actually alter their behavior based on what "current research" says is healthiest.

But what if "current research" is sometimes a psychotic duplicitous asshole with a bad memory?

Should I take calcium supplements or multivitamins or will they shorten my life? Should I eat more dairy, or avoid it altogether? Is it better to have an "optimistic" or a "realistic" cognitive style? Is hormone therapy for women in their 50's dangerous or beneficial? Should I eat more resistant starches, or avoid eating any starches? Should I do more cardio to burn fat, or skip it entirely and just do High Intensity Intervals? Should I stand up to work at my computer, or is that bad for me too? Should I be trying to get more saturated fats from grass-fed animals, or should I avoid animal fat completely and become a vegan? Which is more important, getting enough sleep or working out? Should I eat more or less fruit? Beans? Whole grains?

The good news: experts armed with "current research" have answered all these important questions! The bad news? They all have different answers.

2. Hormonal Havoc: Having a hysterectomy last fall meant the onset of menopause, and boy howdy, is that loads o' fun! While the hot flashes get all the publicity, changing hormone levels can mess with you in all kinds of fascinating ways, from sudden post-menopausal weight gain to ass-kicking insomnia. (And those are just the "G" rated highlights.)

3. Health Clubs and Exercise Equipment Designed by Aliens: Do you ever get the feeling that some products and workout spaces are designed by people who either (a) have never exercised in their lives or (b) are trying to squeeze every last nickel out of their costs and don't give a crap about quality control?

Examples are numerous even in expensive gyms and high-end products. When you go cheaper it gets even worse. Some personal low-lights: a Bowflex scale that we bought and returned twice (so much for optimism!) from Costco. It promised an impressive range of measurements, from bone density and muscle mass to BMI and daily calorie allotment. Too bad no one at Bowflex ever stepped on one and noticed that the ornery gizmo will randomly add 5 pounds just for fun, or refuse to let more than one user set their data.

Other gripes: gyms that keep cardio areas hot and stretching areas cool; exercise equipment designed and sized for men even if used mainly by women; broken squeaky cardio machines; and not enough equipment or classes given membership numbers. Sadly, there seems to be a nationwide shortage of fitness instructors willing to work for free! And God forbid gyms might actually consider paying enough of them to keep class sizes reasonable.

4. Wear and Tear and other Bodily Breakdowns: Injuries and illnesses suck, whether they are acute and excruciating or chronic and disabling. There is nothing more frustrating that having to scale back or give up activities that are otherwise good for you and that you may have spent years trying to learn to like. I have whined about my specifics enough and will spare you, but I'd love to hear about yours.

5. The "Skinny" Imperative: Yes, obesity is a health risk, but the relentless message that Women Should Be Thin and Look Hot Because Nothing Else About Them Matters makes me crazy. It's bad enough that every entertainment form, from video games to Hollywood movies sends this message. But the hypocrisy of "health" magazines that do nothing but make false promises and promote eating disorders gets me the most riled up.

6. That Inflexible "24 Hours" in a Day Thing: Seriously, we need way more than 24. Even if you're not a parent, not working multiple jobs, not commuting for huge distances, and not otherwise dealing with Huge Responsibilities, it seems like there's no possible way to get to everything you're supposed to do. I don't know how some of you who juggle so much in life manage to get to anything healthy done at all.

And doesn't it seem like every year there are even more things we're supposed to stay on top of? Cooking from scratch, cardio, maintaining friendships, cleaning with green (yet not very effective) products, finding healthy substitutes for everything we used to love to eat but now know will kill us, strength training, being grateful, HIIT, meditation, balance work, getting enough sleep, functional fitness, nurturing our marriages and family relationships, stretching, working on our crappy posture, "mental" gymnastics to keep us sharp, volunteering, kegels, drinking a ton of water everyday, and, oh yeah, stopping to smell the f@#cking roses.

7. Having My Own Health Compromised By Other People's Stupid Choices. Despite ~~being obsessive-compulsive and insanely opinionated~~ having some ideas about what might be healthy, I try to take a "whatever" attitude to other people's decisions whenever possible. But sometimes other people's choices seem not only kinda selfish, lazy, self-indulgent, stupid, manipulative or reckless, but
worse, they affect me too!

So "whatever" kinda goes out the window when it comes to: second hand smoke; dangerous drivers; the vast majority of "normal" consumers who eat exclusively junk and thereby ensure that there is little room in stores or restaurants for healthy offerings; city planners who disdain bike paths, parks, sidewalks, and pedestrian crossings; the politically expedient squelching of local and organic farms in favor of huge corn-fed agribusiness; the proliferation of pesticides and other contaminants; our national obsession with firearms... I could go on for another 10 paragraphs or so but I'll spare you.

Are these my only gripes? Of course not! But see #6, the arbitrary "Only 24 Hours in a Day" problem. How 'bout you guys, got any complaints? Or are already neck-deep in gratitude, celebration, and self-improvement?

Winner of Deepak Chopra "Leela" Game

2011-12-19T05:50:00.001-05:00

And the winner is... Therese!!

Congrats Therese, please email your name, shipping address, and which version you'd like to crabby mcslacker @ gmail dot com by end of day Wednesday the 21st to claim your prize.

Holiday Healthy Gift Guide (And Giveaway)

2011-12-12T10:16:00.000-05:00

Image: Plan 59

Got gifts let to buy? Or perhaps you'd like to pass on ideas to well-meaning loved ones who will otherwise bestow you with an assortment of nightgowns, scarves, scented soap, and Festively Wrapped Gift Baskets Full of Tasteful But Toxic Junk Food.

Well, no worries, we've got a bunch of ideas! Most of them are unsolicited, though a few came from a desire to try out Stuff For Free. We'll make sure to disclose any freebies so that you can adjust your skept-o-meter accordingly.

Wait, hold on... what's this "we" business?

Yep, it's true, I got some help on this one. The Lobster offered to take on some Product Testing and Review Duty for a few gift items that caught her eye. She's even responsible for bringing us this week's giveaway: Leela, a meditation video game from Deepak Chopra. And, thank goodness, this one is open to those in the US, Canada and Australia.

So for those of you with gifts left to buy, or who want to win a cool meditation game, or those of you who just want to check in and ~~gloat~~ give helpful advice because you're done shopping already, it's time for the Cranky Fitness 2011 Holiday Fitness Gift Guide!

Cartoon: Natalie Dee

Healthy Food Gift Ideas

The holidays make a great opportunity to foster healthy habits by splurging a bit, either for a loved one or yourself. So consider...

Treats! Keep an eye out for tempting but reasonably healthy items like fancy dried fruits and nuts, whole grain cookies and crackers, healthy jams and spreads, organic wine, juices, or dark chocolate bars. (My personal favorite: the Endangered Species brand. Given my consumption rate, I've probably saved at few herds of rhinos by now). You could even make your own hand-selected gift basket. And, depending on your recipient's dietary restrictions, you can find vegan, gluten-free, low-carb, raw, primal etc options if you shop online or in specialty stores.

Perhaps not the specialty item you were looking for?

Other possibilities: You could also think about a fruit/wine/whatever of the month membership, or gift certificate at a reasonably healthy restaurant or health food store. (Our go-to treat gift certificate request tends to be for Pinkberry, a fancy-pants frozen yogurt place that's a the perfect holiday combo of Tasty, Healthy-ish, and Too Expensive to Treat Yourself Very Often). Or perhaps you could even go whole (humanely raised) hog and give a share of a CSA farm.

Oh, and one recent discovery in the snack food category: Brad's Raw Chips. I got these for free to try, but am now a big fan and have actually asked family members for the Holiday Bundle for Christmas. If said family members don't dutifully fork over, I'll be buying more myself.

The deal with the raw chips: they're ridiculously freakin' healthy. I tried the Vampire Killer, Leafy Kale, and Sweet Potato chips. They're dried at a low temperature to preserve raw food nutritional awesomeness, and are not baked or fried. Ingredients are natural and pretty darn virtuous.

Are they the perfect gift for anyone? Eh, perhaps not. Best for someone with pre-existing health-food-eating propensities. They taste like crunchy seasoned vegetables, but in some flavors like Vampire Killer, the yeasty flavor is pretty noticeable. But I thought they were tasty, especially for a guilt-free snack, and quite filling too due to the high protein and fiber content. Downside? They ain't cheap. But if a serving of these prevents an unplanned stop at Burger King, it may be a price well worth paying.

Fancy and/or Healthy Ingredients: If your recipient likes to cook, look for exotic spices, oils, vinegars, unfamiliar but highly touted healthy grains, grass-fed meat, etc. And here's where I'll put in another plug for the Vitamin D Mushroom powder I got to try courtesy of the Dole folks. It's a great Vitamin D source for vegans and those who prefer natural supplements, but here's the weirdest thing I found: over time I've gotten strangely fond of the earthy, chocolate-like taste. The flavor blends well not just in savory dishes but with nutty flavors, vanilla, chocolate, nutmeg, coffee, etc. I put in my green smoothie with other healthy spices and am actually planning to buy more myself when my free bottle runs out.

Healthy Cooking

Gadgets! Might a new kitchen accessory make healthy meal preparation more appealing? Think about blenders, food processors, countertop grills, juicers, choppers, freezable glass tupperwarish storage containers (no icky BPA's), rice cookers, non-toxic bakeware (we use nonstick USA pans in the Crab/Lobster household), bread makers, good knives, windowsill herb gardens, etc. Inspired by the raw chips above, I'm asking for a food dehydrator for Christmas and will keep you posted if it turns out to be useful.

And if you're looking for a more high-tech kitchen gift idea? HuffPo has a handy high tech cooking gift guide.

Or wait... how about a combo kitchen and exercise gift? (And yes, the Fender Blender does appear to be a real product.)

Photo: Fender Blender

Healthy Cookbooks, DVD's. Tons of choices out there. Some of them awesome! Some of them... well, less so.

Photo: Gallery of Regrettable Food

Recipe Girl has a round-up of much better choices, as does Simple Bites. And Diets in Review has a couple of recommendations too.

Or, if you want to save a few bucks, make a cookbook yourself! Scour the web for recipes you think your loved one might like to try, print 'em out, add some of your own favorites, perhaps throw in some personal stuff, put a cover on it all and voila! It's a "hand made" gift. You can save money, feel crafty, and be a sneaky advocate for healthy cooking.

Fitness Equipment

The great thing about giving a gift to a physically active person? Virtually all exercise fiends need stuff. Whether it's an "invisible shoe" for an almost-barefoot runner, or a swinging trapeze for your favorite circus acrobat, there's a good chance there's something out there that would make their chosen activity easier, safer, or at least hipper looking.

However, serious sports or fitness buffs tend to be rather particular about what they like in terms of clothing and equipment. Consider asking them what they need to avoid the pained smile followed by the half-hearted "Um, thanks!" Getting a gift certificate from a favorite sports-specific store might be another way to go.

For more general-purpose fitness needs, a few possibilities are: exercise DVD's, yoga mats, stability balls, doorway pull-up bars (I have the cheapo "as seen on TV!" Iron Gym, which works perfectly well, but I ain't gonna link to it because the site yammers at you when you arrive), kettlebells, foam rollers, bosu balls, suspension trainers like the TRX or Jungle Gym, jump ropes, elastic bands, sports watches, interval timers, wobbble boards, barbell or dumbell sets, stretching aids, and water bottles (stainless-steel with no BPA is a great idea).

Fitness and Activity Monitoring Devices

Beware of surprising someone with one of these gadgets unless you know they're happily OCD about numerical measurements of health and fitness. Because sure, a high-tech scale or pedometer or calorie burning monitor may seem like a nifty gift if you've been wanting one yourself. (And yes, as a matter of fact I am still addicted to my BodyMedia Fit armband and Polar FT4 Heart Rate Monitor, both of which sponsors gave me for free). But unfortunately, recipients of these sort of gifts may interpret your benevolence as a not-so-subtle suggestion get off their lazy asses and drop a few pounds. Not necessarily a happy holiday sentiment.

However, these are great gifts to ask for yourself, especially if you're female and asking a boyfriend or husband for a fitness gift. Or is it just an ill-informed stereotype that dudes are more gadget-oriented than gals? I'm thinking heart rate monitors, gps devices, Fitbits, etc may make an easier and more exciting gift for the average guy to shop for than a "flattering" workout ensemble or a "cute" pair of shoes. Well, unless you're a straight woman dating a gay guy. (In which case, go for the outfits, not the electronic gizmos, but then you may also want to check out "counselors" and "coaches" below).

Magazines

Subscriptions to health magazines are great motivators, even if most of the popular women's titles have morphed into fashion, hairstyle, beauty, and "lose weight instantly" magazines. One shining exception is my current favorite, Experience Life. It's a health and fitness magazine that, shockingly, is pretty much about health and fitness. The articles explore recent research, theories, and expert advice from both mainstream and more controversial sources. (And yeah, my subscription is comped, but I'd spring for it even if it weren't.)

Hired Help: Personal Trainers, Life Coaches, Classes, Boot Camps, Dieticians, Counselors, Gurus etc

As it happens, the holidays lead right in to the New Years Resolution season. And who couldn't use a little help with healthy living, fitness, nutrition, and long-term life goals? Again, best to avoid surprising someone with a gift that could be perceived as a "you need to get your act together" statement. Plus, your recipient is likely going to want some choice in terms of the provider he or she selects, so don't get too bossy about it. But perhaps a DIY "invest in yourself" gift certificate with some helpful ideas for possible resources? Or, if for yourself, might it be worth dropping a few Big Fat Hints to loved ones?

An idea along those lines for the runner (or wannabe runner) in your life: There's a online training program/class/coaching site called Up and Running that looks affordable and fun, and is designed to help you run your first 5K or kick ass on longer races. Anything Shauna Reid is involved with has got to be awesome, right?

And gosh, it just so happens at least one Life and Wellness Coach we know of has been offering 50% off! But, the clock is ticking and the discount is going to expire January 1. So if you've been pondering the possibility of affordable Life Coaching and assuming that the cheaper rates will be good forever? Er... nope, sorry. Schedule an intake before the new year, though, and you're good for 50% off for at least 8 sessions in 2012. And don't panic if you're not quite ready-- some sort of discount will still be available to Cranky Fitness readers even after the beginning of the year.

Self Help and Other Miscellaneous Gifts

Self-help books, CD's and DVD's that feature meditations, visualization, hypnosis etc can make great gifts for stressed-out loved ones. Two Cranky Fitness favorites are the awesome science geek/enlightened dude/all-around-nice-guy Rick Hanson, and Sounds True, a company that has some of Rick's stuff as well as a huge catalog of other self-help resources. (And yep, they supplied Crabby with a free course). But there are tons of other great options out there too if you Google.

And for those with loved ones who struggle with insomnia? Consider gift items like white noise machines, sleep masks, lavendar oils, ~~black market ambien prescriptions~~, natural herbal remedies, high tech gadgets like the Zeo that measure your brainwaves, or, a favorite gizmo I reviewed a few years ago and still use myself: SleepPhones.

And now, the Lobster has a few holiday gift reviews, and also a giveaway opportunity!

Make Gifts From Your Photos:

Consider the very aptly named Easy Canvas Prints. This is how simple it is: choose a size, upload an image, decide on a border, pay and ship. They let us try it out, and the whole process took at most 5 minutes. Within a few days, this picture was delivered to our door. (Though we decided not to leave it by the front door and now have it hanging in the bedroom).

If you want to create a custom holiday gift, Easy Canvas Prints is offering half off prints plus free shipping for anyone who goes to their facebook page and clicks on "like."

Next, MyMemories has a ton of ideas for organizing your pictures. They gave us a chance to review one of their products, MyMemories Suite 3, which is a nice way to create digital scrapbooks. The program offers a variety of templates to use, and more to buy if you want to get more creative. When completed, you can share your handiwork by a variety of methods, even by creating a movie. The interface uses recognizable drop-down menus, but it does take a little wandering around to get the full extent of the capabilities. Here's a look at a quick page I created:

While I really liked the product and have already created a year end review book, my one issue is that the templates are aimed more at traditional scrap-bookers and don't have the hip look younger users may prefer. But if you want to start getting organized and creative, this is worth a try. MyMemories is offering Cranky Fitness readers $10 off the price of the software and a $10 coupon to use at the Memories Store. Go to My Memories and enter the code STMMMS27481.

Leela: Meditation via Xbox or Wii

Deepok Chopra's Leela is a great antidote to the stress of the holidays. It's a set of meditation exercises for the Xbox Kinect or Wii that can help mellow you out before you hit the mall. Leela captures body movements and breathing to help you relax, focus and "enter into your personal flow state." While Leela says it's a "game concept" and not a "game," being the competitive person I am, I was charging through the Chakras as fast as I could. While the instructions could have been a little clearer (wait, perhaps I was focusing on the destination, not the journey?) I found the guided meditation and breathing exercises were particularly helpful. Visually, it's beautiful, and as a Wii user, it was a nice break from those ridiculous looking weeble-like people.

The not-game is available in either the Xbox or Wii format, or for those of you without either of those, they also offer a soundtrack which provides you with the soothing and restorative sounds you need when that jerk in front of you takes your parking space.

Want to win your own Leela?

To be eligible, you need a shipping address in the US, Canada or Australia. Just leave a comment below, and the random number generator will pick a winner in a week. (You can comment more than once but only the first one counts). Then make sure you check back by the end of day Wednesday Dec 21 to claim your prize or there'll be a new drawing.

So, still got shopping left to do or are you one of those smug super-achievers? Got any holiday gift advice or horror stories?

Kuru Shoe Winner

2011-12-12T10:13:00.000-05:00

The winner of the Kuru Aalto Chukka giveaway is: dhansen11!

(And, yes, it appears there was a double entry. To clarify: it's ok to comment more than once, but only the first comment counts towards the giveaway. That's what the RNG picked in this instance).

dhansen11, please email crabby mcslacker @ gmail dot com to claim your prize by end of the day Wednesday December 14th or we'll draw again! (And it would be great if you'd include name, mailing address, color choice, and size).

Thanks everyone!

Elliptical Madness, Losing Your Nipples, and Barbell Babies

2011-12-09T10:35:00.002-05:00

Not that pasties don't make a cute nipple alternative...

Photo: Godzilla Rocket

Yep, it's that time again, when the weekend's almost here and attention spans are short. Who wants to read a long blog post all about one subject, anyway? Actually, the more relevant question is: who wants to write one? And the answer: Not me!

So, for those with short attention spans, you can find out what odd experiment has Crabby been undertaking at the gym, discover stuff to avoid if you want to keep your nipples from falling off, and learn where you can get instructions for turning your baby into a barbell, as well as catch up on other miscellaneous health and fitness news you might have missed.

Oh yeah, and if you haven't yet checked out the Kuru Shoe Review and Giveaway and want a chance to win a nifty pair of Chukkas, hustle on over there and add a comment!

Around the Web:

Want to know what the latest trends in weight loss are, from the sensible to the super-stupid? Charlotte has a nifty slideshow round-up over at Shape.

Find out a simple (and free) trick to boost the growth of your house plants at Living Healthy in the Real World.

An alternative to coffee? That's heresy! But if you're the DIY type and want to roast your own, Leah has the how-to's of roasting your own coffee alternative over at The Goat's Lunch Pail.

Curious about a FitBit for a possible holiday gift (or to snag one for yourself)? Check out the comprehensive (and amusing) FitBit review by Sinner Ella De'Ville, who won one here and was kind enough to share her thoughts, pictures and ratings.

Crabby's Wild Experiment! Want to Try One Too?

So if you, like me, have already started sliding a bit down the slippery slope of holiday-related overindulgence and slackitude, it might be tempting to give in to negative thinking.

"Darn it," you may say, (or, if you're like me and have no manners, then "F@#ck it,")... "I already screwed up big time, so what the heck, I'll just enjoy the holidays and get back to that healthy lifestyle thing come January 1st."

Whatever! No judgments here. If you insist, go right ahead and undo as much of the hard work you've done all year as you can in the next few frenzied weeks.

But while you're at it, how about trying one or two healthy new experiments? It's a proven fact, or else something I just made up, that a little bit of positive progress can help you recapture your forsaken identity as a Motivated and Resourceful Health Fiend.

I've been trying a bunch of new things lately, which may end up being posts in themselves at some point. But I'll go ahead and share the most insane one of them now:

Four Minute Elliptical Triple-Tasking!

So, I have really sucky balance, but never seem to spend time working on balance training. Another thing I frequently skip? Exercise cool-downs! I know I'm supposed to do 'em, but it's so much more tempting to go full blast and then jump off my machine and pretend sauntering to the locker room constitutes a proper post aerobic transistion. And the most shunned self-improvement task of all? That has to be my frequent promises to myself to spend at least a few minutes every day doing some sort of mindfulness and/or meditation and/or focusing.

A quick answer to all of this slacking? I now perform the last song on my elliptical playlist with my Eyes Closed. (And no holding on to anything either).

I started off doing just four beats at a time, then built gradually up to fairly continuous eye closure. In order to keep from flying off the machine and wounding innocent passers-by, I have to concentrate on a focal point. (I chose my pelvic floor muscles, because I need to work on locating 'em anyway for post-hysterectomy PT exercises. TMI? Er, sorry! Feel free to find your own G-rated focal point.) But anyway, as soon as my thoughts stray, I get wobblier and wobblier. The real-time bonus of not catapulting off the machine is a great incentive to return to my focus before I accidentally kill myself. And all the while I'm getting a nice cool down before I hit the locker room.

Note: Should you try this too? No, 'cause I don't want you to sue me! It's an incredibly stupid idea and may cause injuries. Do not try to suddenly add extended periods of eye closure to your regular exercise routine, particularly if you are a cyclist or downhill ski racer. However, you may want to think about trying something new, is all I'm sayin!

And now, for the laziest portion of our round-up:

Stuff Copied from Crabby's Twitter Stream:

Study says simpler diets easier to stick to. Hmm, mine has a million exceptions (aka excuses) but works ok for me.

Several studies warned against multivitamins so I stopped. Now new study says they may fight memory decline. #researchsucks

Fight brain tumors, MS, etc: Research says curry and other spices have kick-ass neuro-protective effects.

Creepy: "Smokers Risk Losing Nipples With Breast Lift." Seriously: they could FALL OFF. Smoking + Considering Breast Lift? = Think Hard.

Study: upping fiber more crucial than nixing saturated fat to avoid metabolic syndrome. Thus the rise of bacon kettlecorn?

Felons! Barbell-babies! Awesome. Weirdest fitness books that actually have good advice.

Why? No one to share the candy with? Women who live alone are 2.5 times more likely to get diabetes:

Do your kids drink a ton of apple and grape juice? Bad idea anyway (high sugar!) but now you can worry about arsenic too!

Not quite the way I wanna get my RDA of minerals: Craisins recalled over metal fragments.

150 minutes a week of exercise helps sleep. Now could someone tell that to my freakin hot flashes? #menopause #sucks

Great! Now can you get 'em to cook it for me? 5 Sites for Shopping Local Food Online.

Coffee linked to lower risk of endometrial cancer. Coffee also linked to Crabby being able to function.

Study: "Walking through doorway promotes forgetting." So does being 50+! Put 'em together and lose all hope.

Calcium plus probiotics may help lower bad cholesterol: Hmm... an excuse to go visit Pinkberry for dessert?

So how's everyone doing with the holidays coming up? Superhero? Slacker? Trying anything new on the life of fitness front?

Kuru Shoe Review & Giveaway: Aalto Chukka

2011-12-05T08:54:00.001-05:00

Remember how last week I was rattling on about how you should be wary of Evil Materialism as it can be one of the triggers of Holiday Stress?

Well... er ... seeing as Crabby's Cavalcade of Commericialism is continuing yet again with more reviews and giveaways, I'd like to ~~be a total hypocrite~~ explain that what I really meant was: don't overdo it and add stress to what's supposed to be a joyous season by buying a bunch of over-priced and useless crap.

But, um, winning or accepting free healthy and wholesome fitness products, or purchasing them after you read a review on a credible health blog? Totally different story!

So wanna find out what the deal is with the Kuru Aalto Chukka's, and maybe win a pair?

Pre-existing Bias & Other Disclaimers: This is not my first Review of Kuru Shoes; I tried out a pair a couple of years ago. Since I'm choosing to review another pair, it's fair to assume it's not because I think this brand of shoe sucks.

In fact, of the pairs dragged out of the closet below, only the beige ones were comped. This means I spent my own money for Kuru's Three Whole Times.

Also, I get to keep the Chukkas. But don't worry, none of this means I'll abandon all objectiveness--or crankiness. As usual when I review something, I am incapable of sucking up to sponsors and always have a few nitpicks, even with products I happen to like.

First off, in case you're contemplating a pair other than the Chukkas, here's my take on Kuru Shoes generally.

Kuru Shoes: Pro's and Con's

Pro: Unusually Supportive and Comfortable Shoes. If you're trying to find a pair of shoes and have foot issues like pronation, plantar fasciitis, etc, you may have encountered the frustrating trade-off between support and cushiness. Supportive shoes feel rigid and unyielding and mean; cushy comfy easy-going shoes feel floppy, insubstantial, and un-serious. The thing Kuru is great at is combining both structure and comfort in one shoe. (As an aside, I've had good luck with several of Kuru's women's shoes, but am finding the "Draft" model particularly helpful for my plantar-fasciitis. The Draft is a mule-style shoe with an open back, which helps me land more towards my forefoot, avoiding the hard heel-strike I naturally tend towards. Various cloggy alternatives I've looked at have too high a heel, and not enough fore-foot cushioning to work as well as the Drafts).

Pro: A Range of Styles and Wearable Outside the Gym. Even though you can walk for miles and miles in a pair of Kuru's as though they were athletic shoes or hiking boots, they're a bit dressier and come in lots of different colors and styles.

Pro: Friendly Grassroots Company. The people who work there are really nice and there's a whole active community of Kuru fans who are just as nutty about the shoes as I am. They have frequent contests and giveaways which you can check out the Kuru Facebook Page.

Con: Mail Order Only. This is the biggest drawback of Kuru's--you can't try 'em on or see what they look like in a store. I've ordered some, not liked the way they looked IRL, and had to return them and get my money back... a bit of a hassle. On the other hand, I've bought several pair quite successfully this way.

Con: Pretty Please Kuru, Crabby Needs More Black Shoes! Kuru's come in a lot of cool colors, but dang it, I have mostly black jackets and sweaters and need more black or dark gray shoes choices! The "Insight" line has black, but the leather looked better on the web picture and kinda low-grade in appearance when they showed up at my door and sadly, I had to send 'em packing. So hey, awesome Kuru folks, could you please make the "Draft" in black for women? And perhaps bring the black Halcyons that I loved which you stopped stocking? 'K thanks!

So now on to the new Kuru style: the Aalto Chukka.

Aalto Chukka Specs

Price: They retail for $104.97. (In my opinion, this ain't bad price for a good-for-you shoe, and is much less than most of the competition in this niche. But if you're used to buying for style and not for function, you may not be used to paying this much).

Technology: Here's the part where I cut and paste directly from the website, 'cause what do I about PU foam and integrated arch support?

Super Soft suede leather upper
Custom Fit - anti-microbial sockliner custom molds to your feet
Heel Support - innovative sockliner includes a varus wedge with integrated arch support for a healthy stride
More Comfortable - premium sockliner features high-performance, low compression set PU foam for unprecedented custom molding comfort
Moisture wicking liner for breathability
Eco-conscious, naturally derived crepe sole rubber outsole provides a cushioned ride
Nature's Cushioning - KuruSole™ contoured footbed cups your heel as nature intended

How Do The Chukkas Look?

Website pictures can be misleading, so here's an pair of Aalto Chukkas caught on camera in the wild:

Because of the wide midfoot, they're perhaps somewhat chunkier in appearance than a traditional desert-boot type shoe, wouldn't you say? But they're more streamlined than most super-supportive shoes.

How do the Aalto Chukka's Fit and Feel?

The smidgin of extra width is the price you pay for the awesome supportive/cushy technology they build in to the footbed. And if you've got orthotics, you can slip 'em under the liner and get even more support. If you don't have orthotics, the shoes have support built in, and they custom mold to your feet. These Kuru folks are very clever in putting these babies together.

One difference I notice from other Kuru pairs is that the base feels a bit narrower, and the rubber soles aren't perhaps as sturdy for hiking as some of the other models. However, these are a great choice for urban/work environments where you're going to be on your feet all day.

Now On to the Giveaway!

Sorry, this is another US only one, darn it. But if you have a U.S. mailing address (or a handy friend or relative's address) you can enter by leaving a comment below. I believe either the Blue or the Sandstorm color are available but I need to double check.

Winner will be chosen by the Random Number Generator by end of day Sunday December 11th, and winner needs to check back by the end of the day Wednesday December 14th or they'll be another drawing.

Note: And hey, you can double your chances! The Fitbottomed Mama's are also having a Kuru giveaway and I believe there's a day or so left to enter.

Good luck!

Can You Work Out Sitting On Your Ass?

2011-12-01T15:07:00.001-05:00

Photo: yischon

Sitting and Exercising. Why are these two activities so hard for some of us to put together?

Depressing studies about the negative health consequences of sitting have scared some of us into using treadmill desks or stand-up workstations, but truth is, most of us still manage to spend a substantial amount of time each day on our posteriors. Is there any way we sneak some activity into this overabundance of ass-time?

As it happens, while I have a few resources to offer on this question, I could really use some advice myself an a semi-related Seated Exercise Dilemma, and am hoping a kind reader or two might share their advice or experience.

So want some ideas for sit-down exercise?

Chair Dancing!

I practice a form of this myself in the passenger seat during long car trips. But for the definitive, So Perky You'll Puke Guide to chair dancing, you gotta watch this video (via HuffPo).

Pedal at Your Desk

Studies show health benefits for workers who use those little desk-bike type pedal exercisers. Shockingly, however, the researchers found that people used them less often after the novelty wore off, so be careful before you fork over for one if you're the sort who has a variety of different exercise machines serving as clothes drying racks in your basement already. They seem to come as cheap as $20, but I have no idea if they're crap at this price point. Anyone tried one?

Chair Exercises

So if you have the sort of work environment where you have (a) privacy or (b) open-minded colleagues who won't shun you or call security if they see you deviating from the normal sit-and-slouch-and-slog posture, you may want to experiment with Chair Exercises.

But where to find some?

Photo: College Candy

Well here's one handy round-up of 3 chair exercise videos. Note: the last one includes a lot of punching, which could be quite useful if you're wanting to cultivate a don't-even-think-about-dumping-any-more-extra-work-on-me-muthaf@#cka-or-you'll-regret-it ambiance around your cubicle.

And if videos don't work for you, here are some written chair exercise suggestions you could check out.

If you're really serious about doing more exercises from your chair, for example if you're elderly or disabled or have issues with standing up on principle, there is the whole Sit and Be Fit empire, complete with a TV program and DVD's for sale etc.

Chairs That Entice You to Move

Some people perch on Swiss balls, and if you're lacking in balance and you don't put it on some sort of stand, then you get the extra exercise bonus of picking yourself up off the floor if you move too suddenly. You can also intentionally lift your feet up off the floor every now and then play with some core/balance work and hope you don't go sprawling across the room just as the boss walks by. Or, if you've got a chair that rocks or swivels, take advantage of it!

And along those lines, there's always the iGallop and Giddyup type riding exercisers. I'm still secretly intrigued by these but have never met anyone who's actually owned one. The chances of mounting one at work and remaining employed are probably low, but wouldn't that make the thought of heading for the office sound much more fun?

And now it's time to...

Help Crabby Figure Out How to Exercise Hard Enough While Seated On A Bike Seat!

So here's my challenge: Being a (sigh) former runner, I've been spending more aerobic and interval time on pedals than I used to. I love the elliptical machine, because as long as I'm sufficiently caffeinated and the music's good, I can "run" along in a fairly low impact way, get my heart rate super high, and even mostly enjoy the process. My glutes and quads and all the other muscles work together in the background and I don't even notice them unless I'm doing intense anaerobic intervals. And then I'm so busy trying to breathe I've got better things to do than notice my muscles complaining.

However, when I go out bicycling, or now that I'm trying spinning classes: I can't get my heart rate up very high unless I'm standing up on the pedals. When I'm sitting on the seat, my leg muscles aren't strong enough (especially on flat roads) to get more than flirting with my aerobic range.

And even this sub-optimal exertion feels awfully unpleasant! I push it for a while but soon find myself both uncomfortably preoccupied with the state of my thighs, and at the same time falling quickly out of my aerobic range. I either need a lot of hills or a spinning class to get aerobic, and even then it ends up being an short interval workout interspersed with a "walking," not a "running," level of exertion.

So, experienced cyclists and spinners, if you have any advice on any of these I'd appreciate it!

Is this a temporary transition issue that will go away if I just suck it up and try harder?

Can you get aerobic without leg burn or is it an inevitable part of your cardio bike work, even when you've been doing it for a long time?

What's the best way to get stronger leg muscles for cycling: separate strength training? (If so, which are the best exercises?) Go for a lot of hills on the bike? Endurance? Seated intervals? What worked for you?

I think I'd like to try THIS bike workout!

Photo by kharied

So, any thoughts on exercise while seated, or any helpful advice for Crabby on her bike? Or hey, just stop by and say hi!

Smarter Science of Slim Giveaway Winner

2011-11-30T08:20:00.000-05:00

And the winner of Jonathan Bailor's book "The Smarter Science of Slim" is...

Jannifer!

Congrats Jannifer, and please check in by end of day Saturday Dec 3rd or the Random Number Generator will have another go at it.

And thanks everyone for stopping by!

Holiday Stress? Five Self-Defeating Habits And How to Break 'em

2011-11-28T12:23:00.000-05:00

Gosh, Isn't This FUN???

Image: Plan 59

Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, Something Else, or Nothing At All, it's hard not to be at least somewhat affected by the holiday season. Reminders are everywhere: flashing at us from giant billboards, piled up in displays in every retail outlet, stalking us around the web, cramming our social calendars, tempting us with treats, turning tender tots into greedy tyrants, and swiping all the good parking places. What are we supposed to be remembering, honoring, accomplishing, celebrating, desiring, and giving this time of year? No worries, we have centuries of tradition and ubiquitous mass media to ~~shove unrealistic and oppressive ideas down our throats~~ help us decide!

Some folks breeze right through all this with nothing but a sense of delight and gratitude. If you're one of those Happy Holiday Campers, then hooray for you! No doubt you can better use the time you'd spend reading this post to do your usual holiday thing, like knitting rifle cozies for an entire division of troops serving overseas, or custom-baking anatomically correct gingerbread cookies for home-bound elderly amputees, or recreating life-sized Nativity Scenes using recycled toothpicks, aluminum cans and hair-clippings donated by local salons. Whatever it is you've got up your busy sleeves, you clearly have the energy and positive attitude to tackle it, so go forth and be happily productive!

But for the rest of us, I've got some "Do As I Say And Not as I Do!" holiday anti-stress tips. Plus, as a bonus, there's another related post on the same theme by Aimee Gallo over at Vibrance. And who is Aimee? She's a woman I recently met... at the gym. Imagine! What are the chances that two people interested in fitness would both end up there? As it turns out, she's got a great blog full of health, nutrition, and exercise tips. And after you come back from Aimee's place (and please do, ok, it gets ugly here when I start to sulk and pout), you may want to ask yourself: do any of the following five stress-inducing holiday habits sound a tad familiar?

1. Procrastination

Nah, I'm not talking about strategic procrastination, which is a perfectly sensible strategy for dealing with holidays. If you know that you're more efficient if you wait until the last minute, and if you're not tearing your hair out worrying about how you'll get everything done, then by all means, procrastinate up a storm.

But try to avoid the more common, yet clueless sort of procrastination: allowing the idea of all that shopping and mailing and planning and decorating and cooking to get so big in your mind that it overwhelms you into paralysis.

Do you find yourself struggling to get started on your holiday to-do list while others around you are gleefully shouting "all done!" and plopping their smug asses down on the couch to drink spiked eggnog and watch the Grinch steal Christmas for the 87th time? Wouldn't it be cool to feel as guilt-free and chipper as a Who down in Who-ville for the holiday season, just this once for a nice change of pace?

Well, no brilliant new insights here, because two tried and true bits of anti-procrastination advice are way better than anything I could come up with.

1. Start early and break tasks down into baby steps. Don't worry so much about the big picture, just spend a few minutes here or there you might use checking Facebook updates to start a brainstorming list about gift ideas or menu ideas. Or go browse one nearby store on your lunch hour (if such a thing still exists), or spend a few minutes online with a particular recipient in mind. Make a trip to the basement or attic this evening to find the dusty boxes where the decorations hide. You get the idea. Make the steps small enough not to be scary, and congratulate yourself for everything you cross off the list earlier than you would have last year.

2. Confront perfectionism. The root of procrastination is often not laziness, but fear of making mistakes or coming up short. Oddly enough though, anxiously waiting until the last minute to tackle holiday preparations--when lines are long, stores are sold out of popular items, flights are booked, friends have made other plans, etc--does not make Holiday Perfection easier to obtain. Jump in, do your best, and keep in mind that believing you can create the Perfect Holiday is about as helpful as believing Santa Claus is gonna fork over for all your presents squoosh himself down your chimney. Good luck with either approach to the holidays.

2. High Expectations

These are no problem if every year you have a heartwarming and joyous holiday. If your life is a Normal Rockwell painting, then heck, eat a big slice of apple pie, enjoy your hilarious and kind-hearted relatives, and be sure to laugh together over the zany antics of Fluffy the cat and Rex the dog, neither of whom have ever have fleas, furballs or flatulence!

But is your life a nonstop joyride? If not, sometimes those lovely shiny expectations of what we should be doing for others, what others should be doing for us, how cheerful we should feel, how our families should behave, how clean and beautiful our homes should be, how bosses should schedule shifts over the holidays... all these “shoulds” we carry with us can lead to hair-pulling anxiety or bitter disappointment. And yet it’s so hard to let go! Even if Uncle Larry has gotten drunk off his ass six out of the last seven family gatherings and proceeded to knock over knickknacks, insult your daughter’s Asian boyfriend, and crack dirty jokes in front of the kids, we still feel we should invite him because damn it, he’s family, and double-damn it, he should know how to behave by now.

The answer to overly high expectations is both easy to figure out, and really freakin' hard to do:

Explore, challenge, and let go of some of the “shoulds” that aren’t working for you. Should you always be the one to host a holiday dinner every year because you are uniquely qualified by being born with XX instead of XY chromosomes? Do you spend weeks coming up with thoughtful and surprising gifts for unimaginative relatives who always buy you socks, hurting your feelings every year? Do you cruise into malls during the busiest shopping days of the year and feel personally outraged when lines are long and overworked sales clerks are gruff because shopping should be a pleasant experience?

Maybe this year, challenge just one of your stress-inducing expectations. Aim low, expect random sucky stuff to happen, and enjoy those precious moments when nothing's going wrong!

3.Lack of Boundaries

There are lot of extra demands during the holidays, some reasonable, some ludicrous, and some fine in theory but horrific in practice. One of the first obstacles you may run into after successfully Lowering Your Expectations of Yourself (#2) will be dealing with the rest of the world, which may not be in full agreement with your shiny new anti-stress agenda. So, do you get to choose your own priorities? Or are you going to feel obliged to appease the people who are the most obnoxious, entitled, overly sensitive or persistent and then pay for it with your sanity?

To keep yourself from going nuts and honor your own priorities, it helps to get familiar with the word “No.” Or, more politely, “No thank you, I really can’t this year, but thanks so much for thinking of me!” To be repeated over and over over, without further explanation, as often times as necessary.

However, lots of folks think this sounds like a great idea and yet can’t for the life of them make themselves say something like that out loud to another human.

So what are the next best options for declining demands if unapologetically honest refusal isn't your style?

1. Hedge. Don't let yourself get caught by a surprise request. Make it a rule to never to commit to something unless you're absolutely sure you have the time and desire to do it. Try to leave yourself an out. “Sounds great, but I'm not sure if I'm free. I need to double-check with my husband/babysitter/boss/voodoo priestess, and then I'll get back to you!" Then give yourself a chance to really think through if you want to or not.

2. Lie! Yeah, sure, honesty is a better bet from a karma perspective, but hell, I say if it’s white lie that saves you from chasing random strangers down the street with a cleaver in your hand from a bad case of Post Traumatic Holiday Stress syndrome, it’s a white lie worth telling. Invent conflicting social events, illness, injuries, work crises, alien abduction, obscure religious injunctions, strange voices whispering to you in the night… whatever it takes to you the space and time you need to survive the holidays in relatively good spirits.

4. Rationalization

One thing that’s awesome about holidays is that they give us permission to relax our usual sensible rules about working, eating, drinking, spending, flirting, sleeping late, exercising etc. Have some champagne! Have second helpings for dinner! Stay up until 3am! Buy that big screen tv for your family you’ve been wanting for so long!

However, there’s a big difference between a “special occasion” and an “alternate reality.”

If your holiday season extends nonstop from pre-halloween Snickers stockpiling to post New Years Day football festival leftovers, you're probably going to want to inject some common sense into the process. Either that or alter the laws of physiology, psychology, economics and physics. Even if you tell yourself you’re “celebrating,” isn’t it hard to feel truly joyous knowing you’re piling up guilt, regret, debt, organ damage, low-self esteem and excess poundage?

So whats the answer? Again, easier said than done:

Moderation and Damage Control! Insisting on perfection is party-poopy and pointless, but so is throwing a holiday “on/off” switch and pretending normal rules don’t apply. Remember all the stuff you normally do to exert self control? Don’t toss it all out the window. Have a "night off," then get back to your normal routine the next day. You'll feel better, and will enjoy the next "night off" more than if you make the holidays one continuous excuse to indulge.

Also, think about adding as many positive healthy things you can to the mix: get more exercise, vegetables, meditation, water, tea, nature, music, hot baths, laughter… and then you’ll feel slightly less like snarfing up every single evil temptation that the holiday season offers up.

5. Commercialization

We’re besieged daily during this time of year with messages equating love, happiness, excitement, loyalty, gratitude, confidence, intelligence, excitement… with the crap we buy. Seriously, we can’t think of other ways to show affection besides extravagant presents? Do we really measure self esteem by the number of karats in a diamond earring or the vintage of the wine we pour at a holiday dinner?

Many folks get so caught up in the material aspects of the holiday that they feel financially stressed, inadequate, grouchy, or martyred.

This year, is it going to be different? Let’s Occupy Santa’s Toyshop! Tell that tedious old fart to send the poor elves home early, go easy on all the Christmas list promises, and let the rest of us spend more time enjoying friends and family and less time shopping for them.

Make sure to build in a little time for yourself, too--do something restorative to take down your stress levels so that you can be present and appreciative with Loved Ones. Sadly, you don't get nearly as much "credit" for getting together with relatives at holidays if you spend the whole time snapping at them or feeling put-upon and resentful.

Another holiday tradition to consider is the notion of giving to those less fortunate. Go volunteer at a soup kitchen, or help round up presents for underprivileged kids, or even stop in and drop off some cookies to that annoying but lonely old lady next door who lets her poodle poop on your lawn. She may not even thank you for it, but you’ll feel better. (At least until the next time you find dog shit on your shoe).

A Few Random Stress Resources

Mayo Clinic has another round up of ways to prevent holiday stress.

Kaiser Permanente has some free guided visualization downloads and doesn’t seem to lock out nonmembers. There are also free guided mediation downloads at Fragrant Heart.

And of course I have to mention my favorite anti-stress geek/guru/role-model Rick Hanson, who has a free newsletter, as well as anti-stress books, CD's and other resources. Oh, and I can't leave out Sounds True, the company that let me take Rick's course for free--they also have a bunch of free meditation downloads.

So does anyone else get stressed during the holidays? Got any tips or horror stories?