Cranky Fitness

Road Trip Report and Les Mills Pump Giveaway Winner!

2012-05-14T08:03:00.000-04:00

Yes, we have a giveaway winner! But just to be annoying, how about I announce who won the Les Mills Pump DVD giveaway at the very very bottom of the post, after a bunch of tedious paragraphs about our road trip, the history and implications of our migratory habits, trip pictures, and other stuff you really didn't care to know?

Ahem.... WAKE UP!

There, that’s better. Now go grab a cup of coffee before you proceed to scroll right down to the bottom past all the miscellaneous rambling to see if you won the giveaway.

So it's true we haven't event started east yet, just north, but here are:

Four Road Trip Discoveries So Far:

1. The whole saying goodbye thing sucks.

Regular readers know that the Lobster (beloved spouse) and I have a freakish bicoastal lifestyle in which twice a year, we pack up a bunch of our crap and migrate to the opposite coast.

Sort of like this, but with more chocolate.

We both hail from the San Francisco Bay Area, which we love, but we also fell under the spell of Provincetown Massachusetts, which is an amazing place to live… for about six months of the year.

Not this six months.

Our love for Provincetown led us to sell our bay area house and spend half the year on the east coast. But saying goodbye to family and friends is hard! Each time, we'd leave half our hearts behind. Though it makes for lousy song lyrics, don’t you think? “I left half my heart… in San Francisco.” Nope, doesn't have quite the same ring.

Then to further complicate things, we found ourselves seduced by Hillcrest, a cute little neighborhood in San Diego that was more affordable than the bay area yet still driveable to see our families. After two winters in Hillcrest, we now have a found some great pals whom we will miss greatly until we return in the fall.

The bottom line (sheesh, willya get to the point, Crabby?): Our biannual migrations allow us to see people we care about whom we haven't seen in a while. Hooray! But alas, multiple “homes” means we have to say goodbye to people we’d rather kidnap and stash in the back of the van if we had enough valium and duct tape and any chance of getting away with it.

2. ButtAerobics!

I’ve blogged before on road trips about using rest stops as an opportunity for calisthenics, (which looks and feels even weirder than it sounds so I simply pretend I’m invisible), as well as taking along suspension trainers and improvising exercises on trails by lifting enormous boulders.

The downside? These methods all involve leaving the vehicle! What about all those hours speeding down the highway where stepping out the door at 70mph isn’t quite practical?

Introducing: ButtAerobics! Put on some bouncy music, and get your freak on while driving with chair wiggling and head bobbing and sporadic awkward fist-pumping. If you're the passenger person, you can add stretchy band exercises, knee lifts, and seat-reclined hip thrusters! (And please do this last one while passing bored truckers if you want to feel like a total asshole).

3. I am totally pathetic when it comes to blogging on the road.

The sad thing is that I've actually been trying! What did me in was that I started the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. (I had no choice after FOUR different people recommended it to me in the space of a month. Which would make sense if it were a hot new trendy best-seller, but the book came out way back in 1997 when poor Eckhart was probably writing by candle light with a quill pen.)

Anyway, my error was in trying to write a blog post with actual content while traveling.

Did I admit defeat? Yes ! But sadly, not soon enough. I spent countless hours composing, writing, adding, deleting, rewriting, abandoning, and starting over. And each time I'd end up with the textual equivalent of:

Photo: andidigress

And ironically, what was the title of the post that I spent so much time over-thinking that I became a babbling incoherent puddle of frustration incapable of stringing two words together? It was: "Is Thinking Bad?"

Sigh.

(Apparently, Eckhart thinks we should spend a whole hell of a lot less time thinking, live exclusively in the present and spend more quality time sitting on park benches feeling blissed out. It's a fascinating read but a STUPID IDIOTIC CRAPPY CHOICE for a blog post on the road.)

4. The Pacific Northwest Rocks!

True, we hit the timing just right: the weather was sunny and pleasant, yet it was pre-summer enough that everything was mellow and friendly and uncrowded and flowers were blooming everywhere and it was green and gorgeous.

Is Ashland Oregon not a totally adorable town? We didn't see any plays as it was just a lunch stop, but it had an awesome park on a river to stroll through, cute shops and restaurants, a food co-op with amazing healthy lunch offerings, and happy looking people of all ages running around looking intelligent and outdoorsy and creative and friendly. Or perhaps Ashland itself is secretly one big play with a utopian theme, and all those those cool townsfolk were just paid extras? Either way, it was a great show and we felt like applauding at the end when we hit the road again.

The Lobster in The Nice Park In Ashland

With the Name I of Course Can't Remember

And Silver Falls State park?

Holy Crap it was purdy!

And now let's rejoin the folks who skipped straight down to the bottom to reveal that...

The Les Mills Pump DVD workout set winner is...

Kim!

Congratulations, Kim, and please email crabby mcslacker at gmail dot com and let me know your mailing address by May 24th!

And thanks everyone for stopping by, wish y'all were here hanging with us!

So how is everyone doing? Anyone else find their brain melts on road trips? Any random thoughts about anything?

Getaway Giveaway: Les Mills PUMP!

2012-05-03T10:15:00.002-04:00

What's the "getaway" bit?"

Well, it's time for another cross-country schlep! Crabby and the Lobster will be taking off for 3 weeks or so in Fran the Van, to make their way from San Diego CA, to Provincetown MA for the summer... via Seattle.

Wait, via Seattle? WTF? Is there a longer route one could take to traverse this ginormous nation of ours? Well, perhaps not. But screw it, we have friends in Seattle.

As usual, blog posting will be a bit sparse while I'm on the road, but I thought I'd leave you with a pretty awesome giveaway: a big-ass set of Les Mills PUMP exercise DVD's, complete with a barbell set so you can replicate the world-famous gym class in the comfort (or discomfort, who's to say?) of your very own home.

And hey, notice the generous way that I give my reviewer side-kick, Sinner Ella De'Ville, the can of peanuts to give away, while I hogged the glory of the $200ish Les Mills Pump workout program? I'm generous like that!

Oh and speaking of which, Sinner put the Random Number Generator through its paces, and the Virginia Cocktail Peanuts were won by: StarvingBitch! Please email Sinner or me with your mailing address and flavor preference and we'll have 'em sent to you. And I also wanted to alert all of you that Sinner has a new post at her blog outlining a Miracle Cure to Lose Weight, so be sure to check it out!)

Now just what make the Les Mills Pump workout such a nifty prize?

Well, for one, it comes with an impressive crapload of stuff.

Note: due to my inability to snag the image properly, you might think the package includes social media widgets, a laptop, and three deliriously happy fitness slaves to assist you in sculpting your own chiseled physique, but I'm pretty sure those cost extra.

According to the Beachbody folks (who are the clever marketing geniuses behind P90X, INSANITY, Turbo Fire and RevAbs), this Les Mills PUMP thing "relies on high reps at low weight to help users achieve lean muscles and improved strength… and allows users to burn up to 1,000 calories per workout all while staying in-tune with music that is perfectly timed to each move."

Pretty cool, no? And if you go to the Les Mills Pump website, you can see that it comes with a bunch of different workouts, like "basics," "challenge," "pump and burn," "pump and shred," "revolution," "extreme," "flow," and "hard core abs."

But a closer look reveals even more options! For instance, they have one designed to make you Super Tall and Scary...

As well as one that will render you Brightly Colored and Insanely Cheerful!

Sadly, you need a U.S. mailing address to win, sorry about that.

To enter, leave a comment below, and at some point on our journey I'll announce a winner and give you about a week to get back to me with a mailing address. So don't forget to check in occasionally to see if you won.

Comments can be about anything, but if you've got any travel-related thoughts, advice, horror stories, or whatever, that might be inspirational!

While internet may be a challenge on the trip, I'll be reading comments along the way, and hope to be posting as well, whether or not I have anything interesting to say. Lack of a sensible topic has never stopped me from blathering on before.

Adios for now and good luck on the giveaway!

Workout Tunes: From Crappy to Happy

2012-04-30T10:39:00.000-04:00

Strangely enough, this is not on my playlist.

(Image: Jewish Contemporary Museum)

Can you enjoy an exhilarating and rewarding cardio workout without musical accompaniment?

You can?

Well congratulations on your inner resourcefulness! Because I sure as hell can't. I have been known to actually cry upon discovering that my mp3 player failed to charge and I'd have to exercise without it.

Artist's rendering of Crabby without functional iPod: rafa2010

Caffeine and music are, for me, the two magic ingredients that can transform intense aerobic and anaerobic exertion from a hideous form of torture into a blissful state of grinning idiocy. (Which, though it probably looks disturbing, is actually a good thing if you happen to live in my brain).

Crabby's Constant Struggle: Can You Help?
Here's the problem: finding the right workout tunes to engineer this motivational miracle! That can be tough. Especially if you are prone to being ~~an obsessive-compulsive inflexible freak~~ very particular about your musical selections.

Not only must a song align with my very odd musical taste, but the beats per minute must coincide with my footfalls. Which would be fine, if I exercised within the more typical workout playlist bpm range of 120-140. But I love sprinting on an elliptical at 160-200 beats per minute, which not only adds to the lunatic impression I give off, but also renders a typical workout playlist suggestion pretty much useless.

Of course, this is only the 3,743rd time I've talked about needing fast workout tunes here on the blog, and I also mentioned it at Shape Magazine's web hangout. So if you've got any suggestions I'd love to hear 'em. But since Lee from Fitville innocently asked about my playlist in the comments last week, and she's got some great biking playlists over there, you'll just have to blame her if I couldn't resist spouting off yet again.

And so what are my latest discoveries in the workout music world?

New Hunting Grounds!
After, much unsuccessful rooting around "exercise" playlists, I've discovered that certain genres like country/bluegrass and "drum 'n bass" have more in the way of tunes at my target tempo. However, I suspect the number of people who have workout playlists like mine, with these both heavily featured, is probably... hmm... about 1? Both these sorts of music have the potential to drive some folks nuts: bluegrass can feature whiny vocals and depressing lyrics; drum 'n bass can sound monotonous, overly synthesized and somewhat relentless. I also have mindless pop tunes, funky retro stuff, Latin tunes, and even gospel, though as described below, with some important limitations.

The second discovery I've made? I'm getting even more sensitive to musical lyrics than ever, especially now that I am wondering about the impact that earworms may be having on my impressionable brain.

Yep, I'm one of those folks who actually listens to the words in songs. Though somehow, I wouldn't be surprised if Cranky Fitness readers are more prone than average to have this rare and abnormal compulsion.

Ready to Get Offended?
Even aside from possible brain-impacting implications, I find offensive lyrics... offensive! So as someone who is easily annoyed, I've already removed a lot of songs with icky messages. One can naively download something based on a thirty second clip and find all sorts of lyrical atrocities awaiting once the full version is played.

However, I'd be willing to bet that my criteria for what's offensive is not exactly typical. ( In fact, this might be a good time to mention that while I'm totally grateful to the folks at Frugal Dad for listing this blog as a "top fitness" site...

FRUGAL DAD WINNER
TOP FITNESS SITES

Thanks, Pops!

...I'd like to immediately warn any Frugal Dads who may have arrived here to stay the hell away from the rest of this post if they've got any of their Frugal Children anywhere near the computer monitor.

No, Really, Watch Out...
See I have no objection to swear words, or drug references, or or sexual innuendo. I saw no reason to remove the song "Bad Touch," for example, in which a typical verse starts off: "Love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket..." and ends with "And then we'll do it doggie style so we can both watch X-Files." The chorus: "You and me baby we ain't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery channel." Some of the lyrics make me giggle--sex is pretty damn funny when you think about it.

But Even I Have My Limits..
However, racist, homophobic, or misogynistic lyrics? Eek! Even the catchiest of tunes is ruined for me if I have to listen to crap like that. "No homo" popped out of one tune unexpectedly and that sucker was gone the next day.

And I can't do most religious music either, at least the kind that features a "Capital H" He or Him. And I know that sounds weirdly intolerant! But no matter how prevalent the belief may be worldwide that there's some powerful Guy up there who controls everything, I find the notion of a gendered deity who just happens to be male (and often petty and vengeful) pretty darn oppressive. And something of a coincidence considering which gender has put itself forcibly in charge of everything throughout history.

photo: iansand

Yikes, what was that noise just now? Kinda splashy?

Was that the sound of hundreds of Cranky Fitness readers suddenly jumping ship? Ooops! Sorry, by-the-book religious folks... though I'm guessing most of you didn't make it past "doggy style" anyway.

"Upbeat" Messages? Seriously, Crabby, Have You Lost Your Mind?
So a further wrinkle is my recent attempt to keep positive phrases running through my head as much as possible, on the off-chance that they may help reprogram my habitual cranky neurons into firing in a more optimistic direction.

A perky tune like Claire Lynch's "Great Day in the Morning?" Well, sure! That has awesome brainwashing potential. Whereas Maroon 5's "Harder to Breathe" with lines like: "You're not fit to f--kin' tread the ground I'm walking on?" Eh, not so much.

But an interesting thing I've discovered is that even country/bluegrass and funky/bluesy songs full of regrets about ruined lives, alcoholic tailspins, crappy jobs, faithless lovers and ill-considered bargains with the devil can be great fodder for inspiration. Often there's a sense of positive movement in relation to these unfortunate circumstances--courageous decisions to fight back or avoid wicked temptations in the future; some useful lesson learned; or even a slight sliver of hope for the future. All good!

How Weird is This? DIY Inspiration:
I've found it helpful to actually tailor visions in my own head to even "downbeat" lyrical suggestions. For example: Bruno Mars is warning me to Run Away... and while I might be easily able to resist his carrot (since, as it turns out, we all gotta share it), if I envision him singing instead about that third helping of dessert at a party that I tend to regret the next morning? Run away is indeed a great suggestion, thanks Bruno!

And when Bernice Johnson Reagon explains, in a very catchy song perfect for ellipticaling, how much freakin' better I'd feel if I'd just lay my burden down? Well, I can just pretend she doesn't mean anything Christian-y. When I let go of worrying, or feeling martyred about something, or overwhelmed or pissed off, that feels pretty damn good, so thank you too, Bernice.

And now, the Playlist Sharing Debacle:
So I spent an absurd amount of time trying to figure out how to have links here that allowed previews of some of the songs I like. Even though I know nobody cares!

But my experience was one frustrating FAIL after another. If anyone has any suggestions either for song sources, or ways to share previews, or perhaps fast-paced inspirational tunes about the sad inability of middle-aged bloggers to post multimedia widgets and how this can be a ultimately be a transformative and life-affirming experience, I'm all ears.

Alas, it seems there's some weird disagreement between the Amazon flash widget and Firefox; they're not speaking. Though the thing may work in Explorer. And Playlist.com is nearly useless as it doesn't seem to have anything that's not mainstream. Out of my last 75+ downloads I could only find 4 they've got, which might give you some indication of how weird my typical selections are.

Oh and iTunes hides the page urls when I try to visit a song preview page, and it wants me to sign up to "ping" whatever the hell that means, so screw them.

But if you've got access to a browser more flash-compatible than my version of Firefox and are seeing something other than the big blank space that I see below, then there should be eight tunes lurking behind there that it may be possible to preview. But I ain't holding my breath.

And here are four additional ones (out of dozens I looked for) than finally surfaced on Playlist.com:

Sigh.

So does anyone else obsess about workout music? What are your criteria for adding stuff to your exercise playlist?

Guest Bloggers Working for Peanuts--Review and Giveaway

2012-04-25T12:00:00.000-04:00

What's way better than one of Crabby's weird product reviews and giveaways? How about an even weirder one by the infamous Sinner Ella DeVil? She will be telling you about MV Best Virginia Cocktail Peanuts and is hosting our giveaway if you want to win some. (And sorry, U.S. mailing address required, dang it).

If Sinner's name sounds familiar, it's either because you've caught one of the rare posts at her amusing blog No Illusions Here: Fitness Reality, or because you've wandered down to the Cranky Fitness comments and thought: OMG, WHO THE F--CK IS THIS WOMAN??!! And I mean that in the nicest of ways. She's awesome and her call her writing "original" is an understatement.

Are you guessing the Virginia Cocktail Peanuts people are getting a tad nervous by now?

You’re gonna LOVE my nuts!

by Sinner Ella DeVil

Greetings, Cranky Fitness readers! I’ve come to tell the tale of some delicious nuts and grace you with the chance to win your very own can of them for the low and amazingly awesome price of FREE!

You may be asking yourself, “Who is this crazy woman spouting the word synonymous with male reproductive parts?”

Let me assure you, I have plenty of wit and sarcasm to share, but for the purpose of this post, I will tone it down a LITTLE bit. I do run a half-assed fitness based blog that is sparse on post updates and will be plagiarizing myself to double post on my own blog. Let’s just move along, shall we?

Now, I’ve reeled you in with my 4th grade "You're Going to Love My Nuts" joke. What’s it all about? Well, I hope everyone here has heard of the former Slap Chop guy turned Sham Wow guy turned alleged criminal via some very bad choices. (Note from the Crab: if not, you can check out his SlapChop infomercial, or to blast a few extra calories, dance along to the remix version)). He uses the slap chop to beat the tar out of some peanuts and use them for the infomercial. I’m not touting the amazingness that is the slap chop or the creepiness that is that dude. I am, however going to grace you with the glory that is MV’s Best Virginia Cocktail Fine Virginia Peanuts.

I had the pleasure of sampling the Cajun flavor, as I’m not big on sweet stuff. (Yeah, I know I’m a freak.) These aren’t your typical peanuts. They’re quite large and don’t have that peanutty oomph to them that we’re all used to. While they do still have the peanut taste, it’s not as strong as you would expect. And you may see that the label shows what some may think are really spicy ingredients, but I assure you that they are not “make your eyes water” spicy. The spice is quite mild and enjoyable.

These nuts are pretty big.

I have fairly large, borderline man hands.

Had I been able to stop shoving them in my face long enough, I would have chopped some up (with my knock off version of a Slap Chop) to put on a salad, but alas, I was hungry and they were MMMMmmmmmmmm Gooooooood.

There are a variety of flavors to choose from. They currently offer Sea Salt, Toffee, Jalapeno, Milk Chocolate, the above mentioned Cajun and Unsalted flavors on the Virginia Cocktail Peanuts website.

I am looking forward to trying the toffee flavor next, despite my give or take attitude toward sweet foods. And at $5 per tin, they’re reasonably affordable for that next get together on your calendar. (Or your gluttonous venture into the world of sweet and savory nuts.)

Now, if you’re allergic to nuts, avoid. DUH! But, if you like a variety of flavor, texture, and trying new stuff, I HIGHLY recommend these cocktail peanuts.

(This is me, post 4 mile run, about to stuff my face and make inappropriate yummy noises while I beat my children back with sticks and tell them to go eat fruit roll ups. After all, this is for research purposes):

Now, on to the BEST PART!!! For a limited time, you’re able to comment here, on the Cranky Fitness blog to enter to win your very own tin of delicious nuts. Below, in the comment section, just leave a note, sentence, a 4th grade joke with or without innuendo, a line of prose, or whatever letting me know what flavor you’d be interested in trying from MV’s Best and we’ll draw a winner via the ever popular and GREAT AND POWERFUL RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR. (say this out loud with the “Wizard of Oz Wizard voice” or it’s not as entertaining).

Once the winner has been drawn, we’ll announce it here and/or my slacker blog on Tuesday May 1 as well as possibly send an email to you (if your address is ascertainable), and you’ll have until Friday May 4th at around noon (give or take 3 hours depending on which coast you live on) to respond to one or both of us with your US mailing address.

Disclaimer: Should the Great and Powerful RNG decide to be a pain, one of us will just pull out a commenter from the list and notify them.

Have great day, Cranky readers and go have an adventure!

On Being a Horse’s Ass at the Gym

2012-04-23T09:15:00.001-04:00

As part of an ongoing quest to experience more bliss and de-stressify the twisted circuitry of my cranky brain, I'm trying to get less pissed off about stuff. As it happens, the gym is a great laboratory for experimentation.

The gym is awesome because there are so many potential annoyances! I won’t even attempt to list them all. But current highlights include the constantly clogged toilets in the women’s restrooms, and meathead bodybuilders who, in order to prove their manliness, feel compelled to screw down the knobs on “adjustable” equipment so tightly that dynamite sticks are required in order to change the settings.

There is also the issue of my mental state when I arrive at the gym...

...which is fully caffeinated and amped for action.

Approximate size of Crabby's coffee cup:

Approximate strength of the coffee within:

The great aspect of this neurochemical “javactivation” is that it pumps up my motivation and endurance, gets me through strength training (ick), and makes for lovely little lightning bolts of euphoria as I dance on the elliptical to the pounding rhythms of my very odd playlist.

The downside of my hyper-aroused state? Minor irritations can easily explode into major rushes of self-righteous indignation.

The most heinous offense of late: It’s the godawful television sets they’ve installed in the locker rooms, cranked up to high volume.

So I arrive in my own little cloud of pleasantly jittery pre-workout self-absorption and go to stow my stuff in a locker so I can start flailing and sweating, and I am brutally yanked from my anticipatory reverie by a sudden burst of senseless noise.

It could be the forced laughter of a talk show host sucking up to a celebrity with the IQ of a rutabaga, or the hysterical screeching of a game show contestant who just won a trip to Tahiti, or the braying of an infomercial pitchman trying to get me to buy a cat umbrella or an inflatable SUV or an electric toe jam remover. Whatever it is, it's pretty much guaranteed to be something unwelcome.

Unless they're broadcasting a public service announcement telling me precisely how to avoid being vaporized in an imminent alien attack? I think the TV should shut the hell up. My reflexive emotional response to a blaring tv set that I have not turned on myself is: an uncontrollable surge of exasperation.

My next response is to scowl and sigh, and then I write irate letters in my head to the management and start imaginary worldwide Facebook campaigns to banish all public televisions (as opposed to Public Television, which can be annoying too with all those pledge drives but at least has stuff like Downton Abbey) and then I peer up at the tv set placed high on the wall above and wonder, if no one else happens to be around, if should try to clamber up on the lockers and try to find an off button and risk an awkward scene should an employee walk in unexpectedly, or if I'm not alone I might make a whiny comment about it to anyone who looks similarly irked. (And FYI, folks at the 24 Hour Fitness in Hillcrest, San Diego: the vast majority of women's locker room visitors polled HATE THE FREAKIN' TV! However it's possible there could be some sampling error due to the somewhat crazed demeanor of the particular pollster seeking opinions on this question).

On several occasions I've voiced my irritation to the personnel at the front desk (all very nice folks), and sometimes it's resulted in a reduction in volume and sometimes not.

But the last time I did this, I had an epiphany as I walked from the front desk toward my favorite elliptical machine. It occurred roughly at the same moment I pulled out my mp3 player, put on my headphones and selected my current playlist:

Holy Crap what an asshole I am!

Are you ahead of me here?

I'd been creating this incredible drama in my head around my own irritation, repeating it over and over, day after day, and yet the answer was pretty simple:

Put your headphones on and pump up your music on BEFORE you go into the locker room, Crabby, if the TV bothers you that much. Moron!

And so I started doing that and voila! Problem solved.

It does make me wonder though, how many other situations I could have avoided getting all riled up had I looked for solutions instead of getting distracted by my own sense of righteousness and weirdly personal sense of values. (Mindless TV is bad! Gyms shouldn't be hot! People shouldn't bring crying infants into movie theaters!) I suspect there were lots of missed opportunities for happiness had I looked beyond my own view of how the world "should" be and just adjusted my behavior or expectations accordingly.

Sometimes it's as easy as asking myself "do you want to be all angry and annoyed? Do you like this feeling?" (Though unfortunately, sometimes the answer to these question seems to be "yes" and it takes a long freakin' time to let go of whatever it is. But weirdly enough, when the answer is a heartfelt "No!" I find I'm getting better at moving on).

Anyway, I'm sure I'll keep on being an asshole a lot of the time, as I've had 5 decades of practice, but I'm hoping I'll at least try to look beyond my own easily inflamed sense of indignation a little more often.

EXCITING UPDATE: So whaddya know? On my last two visits to the gym the locker room TV's had been turned off!!! Thank you, 24 Hour Fitness in Hillcrest, San Diego!

Also, clever reader Lynn suggested this delightfully evil potential solution: the TV-Be-Gone!

How about you guys, anyone else find sources of irritation connected to working out? Or have other ideas for un-pissing yourself off?

Picture Credits:
Horse's Ass: deflam
Big Coffee Cup: abu
Strong coffee: sh0dan

Best Laid Plans...

2012-04-17T09:44:00.001-04:00

So we're back from our camping trip... and pretty much nothing that happened the entire 5 days bore any resemblance to what we'd carefully planned.

And isn't this so often the case in life?

In a health/fitness context, it happens all the time: the yoga class you planned your day around is cancelled because the instructor has leprosy or couldn't find a babysitter for her pet iguana; the healthy restaurant you suggested for lunch has a line of hungry vegans packed birkenstock-to-birkenstock for half a block and your coworkers all vote for Hooters instead; or all the ellipticals at your gym are being monopolized by skeletal exercise addicts who will never, ever leave voluntarily and must instead be forcibly peeled off their Precors and wrestled into a secured facility, and you're not feeling up to the task.

Or to use another completely arbitrary example... let's say the beautiful national park you were looking forward to camping in, the one with all those awesome hikes that was forecast to have pleasant sunny weather during your trip? Suppose the forecast changes just as you are packing up and now features a decidedly less welcoming array of possibilities, from ice-cold winds to downpours to snow and/or thunderstorms.

Sigh. Hypothetically.

So then what happens?

As regular readers are probably tired of hearing, Crabby has been trying to rewire her brain over these last months to become less of a whiny worrywart, and more of a go-with-the-flow sunshine girl. And what is one of the hardest challenges to this new frame of mind? It's trying to find the positive and discovering new opportunities when things do not go as expected.

Let's Pretend This Post is About Exercise Since this is a Fitness Blog!

I actually have a fairly good track record of taking workout "tragedies" and turning them into opportunities to mix things up a bit. Many of my now-favorite exercise activities only came about because my customary cardio or weight routines were suddenly not available due to injury, closures or cancellations, equipment failures, or competition from other annoying butthead gym-goers who got there first and took the Thing I Wanted.

But I'd come to realize I had two alternatives: give up and not exercise, or get the f--k over myself and go try something different.

And then, lo and behold... I'd find the new thing was not nearly as icky as I'd thought, and it became either a new mainstay, or at least a comfortable back-up plan the next time something my preferred workout routine would gang aft agley.* Now I have many back-up plans, and consequently, have far fewer temper tantrums.

Exercise tip for the day: Use unexpected Fitness Detours as a forced opportunity to mix up your routine.

Duh!

Okay, Let's Stop Pretending this is a Fitness Post Now.

So yep, the trip required navigating some logistical challenges, which we handled by ~~swearing, griping, moaning, and panicking~~ re-assessing, brainstorming, scrambling, and shifting gears. Over and f--king over. There were a series of misadventures too boring to relate, but plans were made and re-made and re-remade many times as circumstances changed. But in the end we had an awesome time! I do think the brain re-wiring project is helping, because I was not even moderately pissy throughout the chaos that was our camping trip, and I suspect before I would have had quite a few meltdowns.

Anyway, here's where we thought we were going:

And here's the main place we ended up going instead:

Did I mention that the Lobster and I are not big fans of the desert? But one thing it did have going for it: relative proximity. That plus the fact that it contained the only campsite within 2000 miles that was not either booked or under 10 feet of water.

The campground we thought we were staying in:

Where we ended up:

Not pictured but within inches: Boombox blasting Lynyrd

Skynyrd; barking dogs; and 14,372 screaming children.

Actually, we also stayed on the coast, enjoying lovely beach walks, and went to the nearby mountains for a hike with friends. And the ugly desert campground had several hot springs you could soak in. Some of the trails seemed frankly a bit dreary, but I had one lovely morning hike that was downright magical. Perhaps it was because of the rabbits and birds and whimsical cactus and ocotillo and other exotic desert flora and fauna? Though I suspect the huge quantity of caffeine coursing through my veins and a steady diet of self-improvement brain-washing tapes had something to do with it.

Of course there are no pictures of the pretty morning hike, so just imagine something pretty and desert-y. K' thanks!

Oh, and meals! We'd pictured dinging around the campfire, or perhaps picnicking on the trail:

But due to our many changing venues and our desire not to burn our neighbors tent to the ground (since it was millimeters from our fire pit), we had to improvise. So while in the coastal area, we were forced to make do with the most amazingly delicious whole grain pancakes ever at the Naked Cafe in Carlsbad.

(Actually, these were the Lobster's but she let me steal some bites. I had the pesto eggwhite scramble with greens and it was also quite delicious. But the meal was so healthy it caused nearby light to bend in amazement and so the photo of it is all blurry. Weird how physics works, isn't it?)

Oh, and there were other culinary adventures too:

Wait... what's that weirdly familiar blue hue?

Is it? ... No, couldn't be... Nah...

Eeek! Who would roast innocent Peeps on a campervan stove to make S'mores?

(Personal aside: hey, thanks JanV for the sacrificial offering! The Camping Gods were apparently appeased as we survived the trip).

And there was hiking too!

And don't be fooled by these two fresh-faced innocent-looking hiking companions who led me and the Lobster on a hike. Turns out, they have wicked snow-ball slinging skills, and are fearlessly undeterred by fresh (and gigantic) mountain lion tracks, Border Patrol agents with large firearms taking suspects into custody, and shoe-soaking snow drifts that left us all drenched and in desperate need of cocktails to warm us up. (However, it turns out these hardy hikers are afraid of seaweed snacks! I'm hoping mountain lions have a similar aversion, should we ever come face to fang with one).

Was that a rambling mess of a blog post or what! But going back to the pretense that this is a fitness blog...

Do you ever find new cool things when you run into Fitness Detours (or any detours for that matter)?

**If Wikipedia is to be believed, the whole "best laid plans of Mice and Men" quote comes from a line in a Robert Burns poem: "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft agley." See? Wasn't that highbrow? And aren't you feeling smug you read all the way down to the bottom of the post?

Photo Credit for Detour sign: Stumax

Guest Post: How To Avoid Making A Butt Mold In Your Couch

2012-04-12T11:46:00.001-04:00

Crabby is off camping again, slacker that she is, but she will be back in a few days. (Assuming she doesn't fall off a cliff or choke on a S'more or something).

In the meantime, we have a guest post from personal trainer Taylor Ryan with some motivational advice, as well as some practical tips and a cool video.

Crabby will be back soon! She might even return with.... [cue scary music]... photos from the trip!

How To Avoid Making A Butt Mold In Your Couch
by Taylor Ryan

I want to thank “Crabby” for letting me share some awesome info today! I love reading Cranky Fitness, so it’s an honor to be able to write for it and share my training “know-how”.

We all have those days where all you dream of doing is getting off work, walking in your front door, being greeted by the smell of dinner already being prepared (a gal can dream, right?) and then plopping your tush down on the couch for the remainder of the night.

So long in fact, that when you get up for a glass of water there is that perfect concave imprint left from your tush as a reminder that you just spent over two hours on the couch without budging... not even once.

No shame in that, we have all been there but it doesn’t mean that because we’ve all been there that it is okay to do it on a day to day basis. The sad thing is that this is what over half of Americans do each night.

So how can you find the motivation to lift your tush off the couch and do something a bit more rewarding, I don’t know... like getting your workout done?

I was recently given a picture with the quote that read “No One Ever Regretted Doing A Workout” and it’s so true. I remind my boot campers of this all the time! Your feet may drag to get started but think of the feeling of achievement and satisfaction you get once the workout is over!

You feel like a rock star! Better yet, you feel like Super Woman!

So that is your first tip! Imagine the feeling of getting it done! Also picture the feeling of not getting it done, that feeling of slight guilt you get when you know it was your day to workout but you chose American Idol over your exercise plan.

Second, Leave no room for excuses. Instead of going home before the gym (if you workout at a gym), keep a packed gym bag in your car. Better yet, put it on the front seat, not in the back seat or the trunk. When you go to start the car after work it’s the first thing you see... and how can you deny it?

Third, who says you can’t have the best of both worlds? Some people workout great during their favorite shows, it helps to keep the workout moving. Simply write down a 15-20 minute interval style workout) and do it right there in the living room.

Here's an example:

(Editorial note from Crabby: Holy Crap! It's not complicated but it's totally kick-ass, check it out!)

Then when it’s time for the show to wind down, its time for your cool-down.

Fourth, if no matter how hard you try to tell yourself you are going to follow these tips but just can’t seem to make it happen it’s time for a change. Change the time you workout to make it better on you and your schedule. If you can’t seem to make it happen after work, then it’s time to try morning workouts. And if you keep saying you will workout before work, perhaps it is time for lunch time or evening workouts.

And finally, working out doesn’t have to take up your time. You can get in an amazing heart pumping, muscle toning, belly melting workout in less than 30 minutes! All it takes is planning, walking into your fitness area (gym, garage, streets, etc) knowing what you want to do and doing it. Personally, on the days where I don’t have all the time in the world I lean towards interval workouts or circuits.

Just to give a quick idea, I may choose 6 exercises (all total body and all with free weights or body weight) and I will do each exercise as quickly and efficiently as possible for 60 seconds, then have a 10 second rest before moving down to the next exercise.

These are intense, help increase your metabolism and burn fat but if you do it just for 2 complete rounds, you’ll feel as if you worked out for an hour but you will see it’s only been 15 minutes! No excuses, just do it.

And remember, “No one ever regretted a workout!”

Who is Taylor?

Taylor Ryan is a NASM certified personal trainer and nutrition consultant. She currently lives in Charleston, SC with her husband where she runs a successful women’s boot camp as well as the online fitness community, The Art of Weight Lifting.

Top Funny Websites? Filling The Doctor's Rx for Laughter as Best Medicine

2012-04-09T08:48:00.001-04:00

So it's not exactly a secret that laughter is good for your health. Benefits include boosting immune function, decreasing stress, and even helping regulate blood sugar levels.

There are so few "to do" list items on any healthy living agenda that are pleasant and free! Well, aside from that obvious activity that happens in the bedroom. (Oh, and sex... that's good too! But I meant sleep. And scoff not, youngsters... as hormones change, so, sadly enough, do priorities.)

Anyway, laughter has other practical benefits as well. So maybe it's a good time to move "laugh more" up a few notches on your self improvement list? So sorry about that, "floss more often" "eat more broccoli" and "do Tabatas twice a week."

We gotta go find us some giggles.

Stealing from Charlotte Again

Charlotte at The Great Fitness Experiment had an awesome post the other day on the importance of smiling and of laughter in improving one's mood. And it reminded me of another interesting bit of productivity advice from a cool book I've been reading. (Your Brain at Work, by David Rock; thanks Tim for the suggestion.)

Let's say, hypothetically, that it's Monday and you're depressed and unmotivated and having trouble concentrating on what you're supposed to be doing. (Gosh, imagine that!) A quick way to increase your brainpower is to boost your flagging dopamine levels. And what's one way to do that?

Immerse yourself in something high-minded and educational!

No? Well instead, why not go find something funny and laugh at it?

Laughing can fake out your brain into a state of alert interest that can carry over into the task at hand, allowing you to dive back in to even the most tedious, pointless or punitive work assignment without feeling the need to slit your wrists. Er... I mean, increased dopamine will help you rise to all the satisfying challenges your rewarding fulfilling job has to offer, so you can be the best employee ever!

But trying to order up a quick hit of laughter can be tricky. Walking up to the asshat senior VP with the hideous comb-over, overpowering cologne and bushy nostril hair, peering right at him, and then bursting out laughing in his face because he's such a douchebucket.... may get your dopamine flowing but might not be the best your career move. Or spending 6 hours websurfing on Funny or Die looking for Funny and finding only Die? Well, it's better than xeroxing your ass and posting it on Facebook, but still there's still probably room for improvement.

In fact, wouldn't it be helpful to have some go-to websites for a reliably quick laugh already book-marked on your computer? Yes it would, godamnit! But it's not something I've taken the time to do recently. I've got a few, but Charlotte's post was a reminder that I need some help.

And ideas from other ~~time wasting slackers~~ resourceful media experts?

Charlotte, mentioned above, besides being consistently hilarious herself always finds good stuff. She had me giggling over Ellen Degeneres clips like this one. I don't tend to watch daytime tv, so I totally missed this--thanks Charlotte!

I also forgot about Damn You Auto Correct which can get me snickering, cackling, chuckling, and otherwise making a spectacle of myself when I remember to visit.

(Note: individual autocorrect excerpts are often off-color and may seem Not All that Funny out of context. But beware: if you go to the actual site, the cumulative effect of so many humiliating miscommunications may cause unseemly snorting and increased risk of urinary incontinence.)

I love The Oatmeal, even when it features locker room humor or cheerfully disgusting lewd and violent pterodactyl videos.

Warning: NSFW!!!!

The Onion is funny sometimes, and the Daily Show often has good segments. But many of my former sources for humor are either kaput now, or, like College Humor or Cracked or Oddee (good for photoshop blunders etc) or Funny or Die or the Lolcat Empire (with spinoffs like Failblog) sometimes contain so many duds it's hard to find your way to snortworthiness.

And hey, with spectacularly coincidental timing, as I was writing this post I got an email introduction to a site called The Celebrity Cafe, which among other humor compilations has a list of 10 funniest dog videos and 10 funniest cat videos.

So here's one for the cat folks:

And one for the puppydog lovers:

There are also lots of funny bloggers out there like Bossy and The Bloggess, and no doubt many more I don't know about yet. But somehow I just don't make blog rounds like I used to.

So I'm on the hunt for ideas... I imagine there are lots of creative folks out there doing funny stuff and I'm too lazy to go out scouting. Especially cool would be humor that appeals to women and not just college fratboys. (Damn I miss Sarah Haskins in Target Women!) Though I can laugh at fratboy stuff too.

If you've got some good sites or clips, please leave suggestions and/or urls in the comments and if they seem like something other folks might like too I'll move 'em up to the main post.

Do you guys take humor breaks? If so, where the hell do you go on the web to do that?

(Laughing donkey photo by: jaxxon. Farewell to Arms cartoon by Natalie Dee)

Pick Up Some Free Kettlebells

2012-04-02T09:30:00.000-04:00

Sometimes quick and easy is good, right?

(That's what I'm trying to learn about blogging, anyway. Not every post has to be a 30,000 word novella.)

But "quick and easy" (and "cheap" or "free") are very handy concepts for exercise too! No matter how thorough and elaborate your usual workout regimen is, sometimes you need a workout that (a) doesn't require a gym (b) can travel with you and (c) doesn't force you to fork over craploads of money to replicate something you already have access to somewhere else.

A few pieces of free or nearly-free workout equipment can often mean the difference between "I don't have time to workout, damnit" and "Holy crap, you can do a lot in 20 minutes if you don't have to leave the house/hotel/brewpub!" (Or wherever you like hang out). So I've got a couple of suggestions for ways to take a workout wherever you go... including some free kettlebells.

But wait, you may be wondering... when is anything ever free? And what's with the "wherever you go" bit? Aren't kettlebells really heavy and uncomfortable to carry around and isn't that the whole point of them? And do I really want to explain the odd contents of my carry-on bag to the cranky TSA lady at the airport?

OK, so sure, there's a catch or two. They're portable because you acquire them at your destination and throw them away again.

And they're completely free only if you drink liquids in large quantities, or don't mind rooting around recycling bins and being mistaken for a homeless person. But heck, dumpster diving is exercise too, right?

The Cranky Fitness Milk Jug Kettlebell Experiment

The Lobster and I are lucky enough to have a DIY Home Gym back on the east coast. But lacking that option in San Diego, we don't generally exercise unless we schlep to the gym or go on a long walk somewhere. And some days... that doesn't happen. So, in search of a cheap kettlebell/dumbbell alternative for home use, I thought I'd try:

The Milk Jug Kettlebell!

It's Easy:

Just rinse out old contents of bottle and refill with water.

Tah Dah!

Beverage containers have handles, come in different sizes, and some have sturdy screw caps. It might be worth going with a different size or brand to get the "perfect" fake kettlebell.

But What Kinda Sucks and How to Fix It:

1. Too Light Even When Full

A gallon of water only weighs 8.35 lbs. This is not enough for many exercises, like the chest press, even if you try to get all fancy and add instability.

Upgrades can be made by buying larger water jugs, and/or by buying a bag of sand at the hardware store to use as filling instead of water. A two gallon container of sand (depending on grain) could weigh a respectable amount. Because sand weight is so variable, I couldn't get a good figure, but 12.5lb a gallon was one estimate.

However, there are plenty of moves that are challenging even at low weights, so you may want to modify your routine accordingly.

Just ignore Crabby's bent wrist, she is so NOT an expert on form.

2. Top May Not Be Secure Enough for Wild Flinging

Even with a screw cap, I noticed a little leakage when I started to hoisting with too much exuberance. I'm thinking duct tape or glue, and if that doesn't work, upgrading to a more durable container that actually costs money, like a gas can kettlebell.

Milk Jug Workout?

Though in my own mind I "invented" the milk jug kettlebell idea in a sudden flash of dairy-fueled inspiration, I suspected others might have done the same.

A quick google confirmed this and even yielded a milk jug workout.

Kettlebell workouts:

There are also tons of these if you google. A beefcake version can be found over at Men's Fitness; cheesecake version at Women's Health. And there's even a traveling kettlebell workout over at Girya Girl.

Other Cheap Portable Exercise Solutions:

There is a whole previous post on Cheap Do it Yourself home fitness equipment back in the archives, but to repeat a few obvious suggestions:

Body weight exercises are free and portable, hooray! College Candy has some suggestions, and there are a bunch of no equipment exercises at the Ace Exercise Library. Other cheap/free options include jump ropes, elastic cords, stretchy bands, and DVD's from the bargain bin or the library. Oh, and there's always the Crabitron for dips!

Suspension trainers can be made on the cheap too, like this DIY suspension trainer. But note... I was thinking there might even be a simpler way using a necktie or bathrobe belt, but when I started to google... whoops! Apparently the bondage folks got there first. (On the plus side, they seem to be Eagle Scouts when it comes to knowing their ropes).

Anyone else experimented with DIY fitness equipment?

Disclaimers: Useful Stress-Reduction Tool, or Pathetic Crutch?

2012-03-29T11:08:00.000-04:00

So the other night I announced a sincere intention to go the gym the next morning, and do a kick-ass workout. (And yes, I'm indeed that annoying sort of person who constantly narrates even the most boring details of my day to anyone within earshot. "I know I put my sunglasses in my backpack, where the hell did they go?" "Oh my god that was the most awesome smoothie ever!" "Eww, these sneakers are starting to smell really funky, and they're making my socks smell all gross too!" Be glad you are not my patient spouse, known here as "the Lobster.")

Anyway, on waking the next morning, I realized I had a humongous list of other things that needed to get done and the gym was the only thing on the list I could postpone. I decided I'd better skip it. On changing my plans, naturally I made another announcement. But I didn't just leave it at: "Oops, no time today for the gym after all, guess I won't go."

No, instead I felt compelled to explain my reasoning to the Lobster about priorities, and re-emphasize my intention to go to the gym next day. Then I put my gym absenteeism into perspective by pointing out how often I've been going lately. And finally, I outlined my alternative non-gym exercise strategy for the day. All in excruciating detail.

Does the Lobster give a crap whether I go to the gym? No she does not!

In fact, I believe she is of the opinion that if I became a bit less obsessive about health and fitness, that could be a good thing. She is not going to be thinking "What's up with Crabby bailing on her workout? She better have a pretty darn good explanation!"

So why did I feel compelled to make this lengthy preemptive disclaimer? And it's not just me: I hear lots of other people (women in particular), issuing disclaimers all the time.

Is this a good thing? Or a bad thing? What do you guys think?

I do believe that sometimes disclaimers can be a very useful stress-management tool. Lowering expectations other people might have of us when things get crazy makes a lot more sense than scurrying around trying to do things that just create extra stress. An announcement like: "Sorry, I know it's my night to cook, but I'm afraid it's gonna be takeout Thai or toaster waffles, your choice, because I have a big deadline at work" can save a lot of angst. Especially if your family is fond of toaster waffles.

But what's with this need to say "I know I'm falling short" to people who don't really care if we're meeting our own, often quirky, expectations of ourselves?

"I really shouldn't have this cheeseburger, but on the other hand, I did run a marathon yesterday..." (coming from a person who has 11% bodyfat and rarely eats anything that isn't an organic vegetable or a sprouted seed), or, "I know this tv show is trashy and you must think I'm so lame but for some reason I just have to watch it" (from a person who has just finished defending a dissertation on chiral thermodynamics and has an IQ of 189).

There's a part of me that wonders if there's something wrong with us for doing this. Aren't we all supposed to have grown mature and self-confident enough that we don't care what other people think? Why don't we just lower our standards, smile, stop with the rationalizing and figure if anyone thinks badly of us it's their own damn problem?

However, another part of me says... well f-ck it. Disclaimers make ME feel better! Being able to say to some sort of audience, even one that doesn't care, "I know my performance looks lazy/rushed/crappy, but there's a reason" somehow allows me to give myself a break when I need one.

So, at least for now, disclaimers will remain part of my stress-reduction repertoire. Unless some smarty-pants scientist discovers that people who used to issue disclaimers but stopped are then 57% less likely to grind their teeth at night and 67% more likely to remember their own cell phone numbers. Then I might take another look at it.

And by now, a few long time readers have probably guessed what's coming...

Yep, a combination of a computer gone bad, an upcoming website transition, and some other interesting but time-consuming endeavors means that my web presence (and especially commenting, twitter, Facebook etc) will be below even my usual spotty and half-assed levels for a while. And I know I say this periodically, and due to my usually low standards, nothing ever looks all that different. The only time posting and commenting was ever frequent and thoughtful was when I had clever co-bloggers helping me.

And I also know that you guys don't really care all that much what shows up on the blog when! Or whether I ever find my way to your comments section if you have a blog, or if I thank you for RT's in a timely manner or whatever. I know you've got plenty of other places to hang out...like at say, some of the Best Weight Loss Blogs on the web!

But it makes me feel so much better to announce that I'm going to be working on some other stuff and it may affect my posting here a little. I'm going to experiment with shorter posts... but then I've said that a hundred times before and yet I never seem to be able to shut the hell up. So we'll see.

Whew! Wow, that feels... great!

Hmm... if disclaimers are crutches, maybe crutches aren't such a bad thing after all?

Anyone else feel the need to explain themselves? Is this something you're working on doing less of, or do you feel ok about it?

Best Weight Loss Blogs: 2012

2012-03-26T11:58:00.005-04:00

The votes have finally been tallied in the "Best Weight Loss Blogs" poll, and we have some winners!

As you may recall, Cranky Fitness had a similar reader poll back in 2009, but it was getting mighty old and stale. It was scaring away potential new blog visitors who were googling in with high hopes of finding current "weight loss blogs" or "weight loss blog names" or "blogs documenting women's weight loss" or "beefcake nipples!" Oops, sorry--that last search query leads to a different post. But in any event, it was time for a new reader poll.

So a new vote was taken, and ~~bribes~~ prizes were offered to encourage reader participation in selecting current favorites.

Last time I wrote up a much longer and more tedious introduction explaining all the rules. But the heck with that, let's just review the prizes and get to the winners! Contest rules, many of which are arbitrary and unfair, can be found back at the nomination post. Among other minutia, there is an explanation as to why the latest nomination post comments were not the only source of blog votes. (A previous post also collected nominations, but it was a bit grandiose and embarrassing so I'm not going out of my way to help you find it).

Prize Recap:

The top vote-getting blog gets a $50 American Express gift certificate, as does one winning reader. (These were donated by BodyLogicMD, where you can go check out bioidentical hormone replacement therapy if this is something that sounds intriguing).

Other reader prizes include: four SmartForLife Protein Bars, three bags of Popcorn, Indiana Chip’ins, two Self-Development eBook combo packs by Life Coach Tim Brownson, and a partridge in a pear... oh wait, sorry, no poultry is on offer. But there's also a copy of Tim's new eBook "Aligning with Your Core Values" as well as a 24-packet box of vegan Tropical Strawberry Shakeology Meal Replacement shakes.

So... what are the top weight loss blogs according to reader votes, and who won some Stuff?

Top Weight Loss Blogs

In a nod to the time honored tradition of "being polite to the hostess," many sweet folks mentioned Cranky Fitness but it seemed a bit tacky to include it. But thanks so much!

The top vote getter of actual serious votes was DK FitSolutions. Congrats DK FitSolutions, you motivated people, sent out the troops, and won a $50 gift certificate and a first place finish!

And here are the other top vote-getters, broken into clumps by popularity (but within a clump, votes were similar or tied):

Top 3 blogs:
DK FitSolutions
MizFit
The Great Fitness Experiment

Also very popular:
Tippy Toe Diet
Fit to the Finish
Truth 2 Being Fit
Bitch Cakes
Health Breaks Loose
Carb Tripper
KCL Anderson: Before & After
Ryan D. Sullivan (No More Bacon)
Sheesh
Calorie Lab: Dr. J
Nerd Fitness
Oh She Glows
Waisting Time
The Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl
A Weight Lifted
Fit Bottomed Girls

More Multiple-Vote Blogs:
Feed Me, I'm Cranky
Roni's weigh
YumYucky
Marks Daily Apple
Finding Radiance
My Journey to Fit
Debby Weighs In
Peanut Butter Fingers
Eat Move Write
Loretta's Journey
MrsFatass
Jack Sh*t Getting Fit
Priorfatgirl
The Sassy Pear
Starving Bitch
Escape from Obesity

Other Nominated Blogs:
(And note: there are some GREAT ones in here, and they're listed in no particular order, so it's worth at least skimming to the end to see what titles might appeal to you:

Diet Blog
The Token Fat Girl
Scale Junkie
Chocolate Covered Katie
Healthy Tipping Point
Carbie Girl
Fat to Fit Mommy
Runs for Cookies
Iowa Girl Eats
Coach Vance
Beth's Journey
Flab Mountain-From Cow to Wow
Fat Girl in a Skinny World
Running with Perseverance
Strong is the New Skinny
Ugly Finish
Illusion Free Fitness
Livin' La Vida Low Carb
Keeping the Pounds Off
Happy Texans
Tom Corson-Knowles
My Fitness Pal
Doing a 180
Live for Food
Eden Eats Everything
Freakin' Fitness
The Fitnessista
Eighty Twenty
Journey to Fitville
The Skinny Chronicles
Goals for the week
The Health Guru
Runs for Cookies
My Sumo Weight Loss Blog
The Lighter Perspective
Diet Schmiet
A Life Changing Journey
Big Girl Bombshell
Evil Cyber
Can You Stay For Dinner
Healthful Pursuit
The World According to EggFace
Healthy is Hot
Banana Buzzbomb
Man Bicep
Fitfluential
Fit Mommy
Kelly Olexa
SkinnyEmmie
AlltheWeigh
I Am Woman Hear Me Run
Wellness Mama
Fit and Feminist
Girl Heroes
Why the Weight?
Teamgiles
Peas And Thank You
Fooducate
Carrots and Cake
The Kim Challenge
Tricia Minnick (formerly Endurance Isn't Only Physical)
My Bizzy Kitchen
Katie J is On Her Way
Miss Zippy
Something Brilliant is Brewing
From Fat to Fab
Skinny Hollie
Outsmart the Fat
My Journey To Fit
I'm Just Puffy

Are you a blogger on the list? Congratulations! And you may want to consider linking to this post from your place with text like "best weight loss blogs" or "top weight loss blogs" or "incredibly lame health and fitness sites that do happen to have a good compilation of weight loss blogs"... it's all good. The more folks who do this, the more innocent googlers searching for healthy lifestyle inspiration will land here, and thus discover your blog (or be reminded that it is awesome). Might this ~~Machiavellian scheme~~ cooperative strategy also help traffic to Cranky Fitness? Why yes, indeed it might! So if you do link to this post and want to let me know via comment or email I'll be most grateful!

Giveaway Prize Winners
Here are the blog commenters who won some sort of prize:

Lee
Starving Bitch
Sarah
Gwen
JennaZ
Shelley
Therese

Winners: please email me at crabby mcslacker at gmail dot com by end of day Friday March 30 2012 with your name and mailing address, and your order of preference on the above prizes. Who gets what will be determined by a secret formula not entirely dependent on response time (due to time differences) but sooner is definitely better. And just to clarify, on the edible items, you get 'em all (winning one bar, bag or shake seems a little chintzy!)

Is Your Favorite Blog Missing Or Underrated? Discover a Broken Link? Looking for More Ideas? Stop by the Comments!

It would be great to get more recommendations, hear additional praise for favorites, or discover errors or broken links. This post may be updated occasionally and stuff from the comments incorporated into the list.

Note: suggestions for sites that are not really sincerely trying to blogs but are aimed at selling a weight loss services or product, even if these products/services are legitimate and not total crap may, at my discretion, be deleted anyway.

Any thoughts? Congrats to the winners and thanks for stopping by!

Note: Lipton Cup Photo: Cape Cod Times

Creating "Win-Win" Situations

2012-03-22T10:31:00.001-04:00

What the heck is a "Win-Win," anyway?

The term is frequently used by salespeople, managers, politicians, and earnest self-improvement types, which is reason enough to be suspicious. It's a concept especially likely to be introduced when you're about to get screwed over somehow.

And yet... there are true "win-win" situations in life! It is sometimes possible to have outcomes that don't involve ugly trade offs, concessions, or compromises.

In a health and fitness context, a "win-win" occurs when something that is Really Good for You also happens to be Enjoyable, and these instances are rare enough to deserve celebration. (More on that in a minute; there is actually a "real" blog post here if you persevere through the announcements).

But another example of a "Win-Win" is... when lazy bloggers who seek more interaction with readers find Sponsors with nifty Products who donate them for Giveaways which Readers can then win if they Leave Comments on the lazy bloggers giveaway posts! (And in the case of a "best weight loss blog" poll, for instance, it's also win for the blogs that rank highly. Weirdly enough, Cranky Fitness gets tons of googlers hunting here for them).

And then there's even more of a WIN for Crabby if she can accomplish all of these goals in one relatively brief post:

1. Announce that the Best Weight Loss Blog contest is about to close!

Go to the Best Weight Loss Blog Nomination post and comment by end the of day tomorrow (Friday, March 23rd). If you haven't picked 10 yet, you can come back and vote for more! And please think about (a) nominating your own blog if it's good and (b) telling your nominated blogger friends to send some fans over ASAP, because right now only one blog is doing that... and yet I have a strong sense there are other favorites among Cranky Fitness readers. The winning blog gets $50 bucks in the form of an American Express gift certificate donated by BodyLogicMD. (And you could win one too!)

2. Tell you about more Prizes!

In addition to the two $50 Am Ex gift certificates, the 3 bags of Popcorn, Indiana Chip’ins and the 4 SmartForLife Protein Bars, you could also win:

eBooks that could change your life!

Tim Brownson, is, like me, a life coach, only unlike me he's gotten off his butt and gone beyond blogging to write some great ebooks. He's a witty writer, he has tons of sage advice, and he has magnanimously agreed to offer up a copy of some ebooks. He's got a new one just out: "Aligning with Your Core Values" which will show you how to "get unstuck in life, work, and relationships." Some really helpful stuff in there! He's also offering a self-development combo pack or two of previous titles: "Don’t Ask Stupid Questions," "Don’t Panic," and "16 Ways to De-Stress Your Life."

A 24-package box of vegan strawberry Shakeolgy meal replacement/nutritional supplement shakes.

Shakeology hails from Beachbody, the P90X people. These shakes "contain natural extracts and nutrients found in exotic plants in the most remote locations around the world." Apparently some "strapping, 40-something Tarzan look-alike" dude named Darin Olien is responsible, and there's even a Shakeology video if you'd like to learn more.

3. And finally, what was that about Health and Fitness "win-wins?"

In my mind, here are the 3 crucial principles for finding more healthy pursuits that you don't just put up with, but actually love.

Of course, longtime readers (or those who've wandered over to the "about" page) already know that this blog was founded on the principle that Healthy Living is a Pain in the Ass. And if scientists were to finally invent a pill that I could simply swallow once a day to give me a healthy strong slim limber body...I'd be eating a lot more chocolate cake and logging a hell of a lot less time in the gym.

But by discovering enough golden gleaming "win-win" health and fitness options, I've managed to arrive at a state where I mostly enjoy, and am actually sometimes ludicrously ecstatic about, my mostly-healthy lifestyle. Plus, combining pleasure with "good" behavior is a source of one my favorite all time emotional states: that of smugness.

But here's what it took (for me):

1. Experimentation

I am obviously not the first person to note that you have to wander out of your comfort zone sometimes, but many of us seem to wired to resist change or at least be suspicious of it. (On the plus side, we make loyal mates and employees and rarely do impulsive things that land us in hospitals or jail cells). But to find more and more of those enjoyable health and fitness win-wins, you gotta mix things up! So, wander out of your comfort zone, endure awkwardness, risk embarrassment, and put up with periods of not liking something for a while until you get used to it. Of course if you still hate it after a reasonable trial period, then by all means bail.

I could bore you with dozens and dozens of personal examples, but two off the top of my head: I now love roasted brussels sprouts and doing 10-15 minutes of my elliptical workout with no hands and eyes closed in order to practice balance and mental focus. (Wait, what was that I said about not ending up in the hospital?) Neither of these came naturally for me.

2. Make a Substantial Investment--in time, money, and energy.

I absolutely love my playlists filled with awesome motivating songs playing at exactly the right beat for my workouts, my big-ass salads and smoothies and stir-fries full of wholesome, usually organic, and shockingly expensive ingredients, my ability to do unassisted pull-ups and chin-ups and intervals, my many and varied and beautiful walking and biking and hiking routes, my self mental self-improvement schemes and rituals designed to rewire my worrywart brain into a place of tranquility punctuated only by eager anticipation and euphoria... none of these just "happened." They all took time, thought, willpower and sometimes money.

The part that most "get fit and healthy" articles forget to mention: this is all time, thought, willpower and money that has to come from somewhere else. THAT is the tricky part. So, um, sometimes Win-Wins are really Win-Win-(lose) but that makes for a much less cheerful blog post, doesn't it? So, um, just forget you read this paragraph.

3. The Willingness to Look Like A Total Ass in Front of Other People

Most people in modern society are not willing to prioritize and personalize their health and fitness goals at the expense of their social comfort. So if you tote along your own snacks, do bizarre variations of exercises at the gym, sneak in some stretches in line at the post office, ask detailed questions about food preparation to eye-rolling waiters at snooty restaurants, describe with great enthusiasm your opinions on veganism or nutritional supplements or Zumba classes at cocktail parties... you risk looking like a weirdo.

Here's a tip: my middle age, it will seem much more obvious that (a) people are thinking more about themselves than about you and (b) those who might make judgments about how "weird" you are for caring about your health, or otherwise being true to your own values... aren't much worth worrying about. So save yourself a few decades of angst and inhibition and self-censorship, and just claim your own weirdness now and learn to love it! Being "normal" is highly over-rated.

So, does anyone else have examples of stuff you love that is also good for you? Any other ideas on how folks might discover more of these in life?

Stand-Up Workstations, Revisited

2012-03-19T10:38:00.000-04:00

Photo: Jacob Davies

Remember those scary studies about how sitting too many hours a day can kill you, even if you try to make up for it by running ultra marathons or cross-fitting your body into a state of exhaustion or zumba-ing your ass off all week?

And if disease and early death weren't incentive enough to get your butt out of your chair, all kinds of experts have cited studies saying that calories burned from standing versus sitting was some awesomely huge number, leading to incredible weight loss results.

Inspired by these statistics, I decided this summer to try the switch to a stand-up workstation. I wrote a blog post about it back then (which, I've now linked to twice with two different keywords, for those of you noting what a shameless googlewhore I am), but since then it's been 7 months and one cross-country relocation. So now I have some further experience, complaints and suggestions about the whole issue.

Curious about the benefits and pitfalls of stand-up desk arrangements, and up for some trouble-shooting ideas from my own trials and tribulations?

No?

Well when has that ever stopped me from explaining something before?!?

Stand Up Desk FAILs and how to fix them.

1. Cost

There are plenty of nifty stand-up workstation options if you want to fork over hundreds or even thousands of dollars for them.

However, if you lack a lucrative source of income or a wealthy benefactor, there are cheaper options!

You basically need to create a surface higher than a normal desk to put your keyboard on, and a place even higher than that, at eye level, to stick a screen.

How many bazillion different ways are there to approach this? Many bazillions! You can raise a normal desk up, or you can create additional shelves, monitor holders, etc by various means. If you are handy and know your way around a search engine and a hardware store, there are lots of DIY resources, like this $40 Standup Desk or this more elaborate stand up workstation.

There are also cheap and cheapish pre-built options which pop up as ads when you google; I have no idea how good they are.

Then there's the really low-tech approach that I started with:

Or you can use the "find a weird ugly adjustable shelf left by the side of the road conveniently built to tuck in above a desk" method, the one I ~~bored you with~~ documented in last summer's blog post.

Do you happen to have a TV screen mounted on a wall somewhere in your house that can be used as a monitor, and don't have any entertainment-starved family members competing for it? In that case you can put a desk under the tv screen, plug your computer into it (if it has the right sort of connections), and raise your keyboard with whatever you can find. This is the method I am currently using.

Wait, what's that square thing on the floor?

Patience, Grasshopper!

The general notion is: find what's lying around anyway or cheap to obtain, and improvise a temporary solution until you figure out if you like standing up or not.

2. Acclimation/distraction

It may take a while to get used to concentrating on work while your body is in a whole new configuration, and this may feel icky. So don't be stupid and try to go instantly from sitting down all day to standing up all day. (And in fact, it's not even a good idea for you to stand up all the time, as discussed below).

Try your stand up experiment when you have mindless or even entertaining work to do, and build up gradually from a few minutes to longer stretches of time. In other words, don't do anything rash about your workspace arrangements just yet.

Ungrateful ass... after all I've done for you!

Photo: bondidwhat

3. Standing For Hours at a Time is Also Bad for your Health.

After reading countless studies on why I should stop sitting down and start standing up, and then dutifully going out and doing that... then I start reading that standing all day has negative health repercussions too! According to a study in "Hazards Magazine" (which, as a recovering whiny worrywart, totally sounds like my kind of publication), health problems linked to standing all day can include "varicose veins, poor circulation and swelling in the feet and legs, foot problems, joint damage, heart and circulatory problems and pregnancy difficulties."

WTF? These all seem like kind of a crappy reward for all that stand-up virtue. (And like another standing desk experimenter, I discovered I was getting a few more spider veins on my legs than I used have. True, I am also getting older, but the timing seems mighty coincidental).

So, I wondered, what am I supposed to do if I'm not supposed to sit all day or stand all day? Just refuse to get out of bed at all?

Well, duh, Crabby--rather than just stand there, I realized I should vary my position throughout the day. Sit down sometimes, walk around, rock back and forth, get a step stool to raise a leg at a time and shift weight back and forth, do headstands or the hula or whatever I can think of rather than maintaining the same rigid position for hours at a time.

However, once I got comfortable standing and felt so smug doing it, it took me a long time to put this "mix it up" notion into practice. Not only do I not know how to hula, I find that even pulling over a nearby chair or a stability ball for an arbitrary sitting break feels like an annoying interruption when I'm immersed in something. Go figure! But now I do try to check in with my body more often, to see what it wants (though it usually says "a hot fudge sundae and a nap, please" which is not actually all that helpful). But a brief walk, some squats, a client call taken sitting down, some calf raises... the variety thing is starting to become more of a habit.

And just the other idea I had an flash of inspiration and "invented" a partial solution to this problem! Which leads us to another Standup Desk issue which my invention helps a little with, which is...

4. Those Calorie Burn Statistics Are Apparently Totally Bogus!

I got so excited by the claims around the calorie burning aspects of getting out of my chair that I couldn't wait to see the pounds drop off once I started standing and moving around more!

But I didn't notice any difference at all. @#$%! Sadly, I had to start counting calories and stop eating so f--king much for any actual weight loss to happen. Theoretically there's got to be some increased metabolic activity when your muscles are working against gravity to hold you upright, don't you think? I can only conclude that I have gravity-defying superpowers. So I just had to content myself with the fact I wouldn't die prematurely from sitting down so much. Which is actually more awesome, but in that boring mature long term way and not as fun as quick effortless weight loss.

So... if you are like me and standing up, on it's own, is not a big factor in your metabolism, is there any way to take advantage of the standing position to get a little movement in that isn't too distracting to the work you're trying to accomplish?

A treadmill desk is the obvious answer, but not having one handy now I was contemplating other options. (Also, a brief experiment on the East Coast wasn't success as I found walking more distracting, but I want to try it again). One option I was sort of tempted by was a cheapo mini stepper thingy, but I don't know anyone that has one and whether they're any good or not. Anyone know?

Hi! Anyone recognize me?

Am I loud and rickety or smooth and fun?

Crabby's new invention: the TeeterStation!

Like the Crabitron and other cheap DIY exercise equipment, this is an improvised gadget that is optimally obtained for free or well under $10. You take a board (we had an extra shelf) and put some sort of stick or dowel under it.

Note: this dowel was a bit too thin and has been replaced by one just a bit thicker, but I wouldn't suggest going too thick if you want to keep this a mindless background activity. Losing your balance entirely and doing a faceplant into your desk, or landing with a loud thud on your ass could indeed be distracting to yourself and others.

No adhesives or anything else seem to be necessary to construct your TeeterStation, at least not if you're on carpet. You could also go out and buy a fancy balance board, but not only would that cost more, it might be a bit too challenging for all-day use.

You can balance, rock back and forth from foot to foot, switch to a horizontal orientation and rock from toes to heel (which is handy to do one leg at a time to build foot, ankle and calf strength).

If you keep the height short and mellow, it's pretty unobtrusive. You can rock and rest and rock again. I've been tipping and rocking my way THROugh thIS WHOLe post cOULD YOu tell?

It's still important to sit and walk too, but this just adds another option--and it's especially good for people who like to rock and fidget anyway.

Has anyone else been trying to work standing up? Any other ideas for getting asses out of chairs in relatively comfortable ways?

Prizes, Links, And More Freakin' Gratitude

2012-03-16T10:45:00.003-04:00

Presents! Everybody loves presents!

Photo: Wild Spirit Wolf Sanctuary

Yep, this another end-of-the-week random slopped-together blog post, the kind likely to scare off new readers with its weirdness, lack of theme, and announcements only regular Cranky Fitness visitors (all 3 of them), could possibly care about.

Which is bad timing! Because a few new folks might be coming in to check out the blog over the next day or two, thanks to my personal development Hero/Guru/Geekcrush/Idol Rick Hanson who mentioned me in his newsletter. (Which you should totally sign up for. It's free!)

So are some of you getting tired of hearing about how awesome I think Rick is? Well, sorry but I can't quite shut up about him just yet. The dude has kinda changed my life, and I'm getting more annoyingly happy every day, so I've sort of imprinted on him like one of those Konrad Lorenz ducks back from Psych 1 and I go following him around from place to place.

Webinar? Sure, Rick!

So Rick's got a new book called Just One Thing, (which has a Facebook page) and he's also adding helpful commentary on this cool series of online neuroplasticity lectures (most of which are the free if you don't buy the fancy package. That's how I'm watching them). And he does all kinds of other stuff like one-minute videos that his newsletter will keep you posted about. Why am I so smitten? Maybe it's something about his personal warmth and humor, all his helpful research-supported tips about rewiring your brain, and the inspiring-without-being-sappy encouragement to "take in the good." Anyway, somehow he really got through to this Cranky Crab.

But I'll stop now! That way you can use your limited Friday attention spans to find out what loot you could win for yourself or your favorite bloggers by voting in the Best Weight Loss Blog Nomination Post. Or to get the scoop on back fat, parasites, and other weird health news on the web.

Now On To Them Thar Prizes!

We've got a few prizes to announce for the Best Weight Loss Blog contest giveaway to start off with, and more are in the works.

The top vote/nomination getting blog will get a $50 American Express Gift Card, and so will one randomly selected reader. These two gift cards were generously donated by BodyLogicMD. That's pretty much as good as cash!

Who wants some?

Photo: 410k

Now to help your favorite blogger get the fifty bucks, you may want to stop by and mention the contest to them. Each nomination from a different reader counts as a vote. Right now, the folks at DKFitness Solutions seem to be the only ones rallying their troops, but there's still another week or so left.

And don't be shy; if you've got a great blog yourself then self-nominate! For example, I don't see Starving Bitch's blog listed yet, or many other of your fine blogs. Being on the list when it comes out may well get you a few new readers down the road!

Anyway, another prize is 3 bags of Popcorn, Indiana Chip’ins. I haven't tried these but I have tried their Kettle Corn and it is awesome, especially when the calorie count relative to other snacks is factored in. The Chip'in thingies are billed as "a healthy, yet delicious alternative" sort of snack, and they're gluten-free, have zero trans fats, are lower calorie and sodium than regular chips. They "come in a range of savory flavors."

Still hungry? We've got 4 SmartForLife Protein Bars. To quote their promotional stuff: "With 18 grams of protein per bar, these ultra chic bars will keep hunger at bay and keep that bod beach ready for the summer! Women’s Health Magazine named these the 'Best of the Bunch' in a protein bar taste test." You can find more information at www.smartforlife.com.

And there should be more to come--At least I hope so. Otherwise I'll have to start rummaging around the closets and cupboards at home and that could get really ugly. (Six month old freezer-burned gluten-free bread left over from a house guest, anyone? Anyone?)

Other Miscellaneous Stuff:

If you're a fitness blogger, check out FitFluential! I only just joined as an ambassador, and due to being extremely ~~lazy~~ busy have done nothing but sign forms yet, but it seems to be a group with a lot of potential. All your favorite bloggers are already members, and I'm hoping together we can ~~bend corporate sponsors to our will and extort large sums of money~~ explore mutually beneficial promotional partnerships with the brands we already love!

Healthy St Patricks Day Foods? They do indeed exist! The FBG's have a round up.

Birth Control Options: Thought about an IUD? The College Candy kids have some thoughts.

Wondering Why I Link to the Same Sites so Often? I'm notoriously slothful about making the blog rounds, and some folks send me their links with URLs. So if you know of a great post you want to share, email me and if it looks reasonably compatible I'll try to remember to include it in the next round-up.

Recent WTF Search Terms Leading to Cranky Fitness:

man dragged through a freezer cartoon
did you grab my ass?
what does a lug like to do?
word nipples barbells

Stuff From My Twitter Stream, Some of Which is Ancient Because I Haven't Updated in Centuries, But Whatever.

Note to self: less reading studies about it, more DOING IT: Evidence builds that meditation strengthens the brain.

Vindication! 'Brain fog' of menopause confirmed:

Love ya Prevention Magazine, but "back fat" seems a weird thing to worry about, and how can any exercise target it anyway?

Aw shucks, breaks my heart. Who doesn't love 'em? Guidelines: No more annual Pap smears?

What?!? Chocolate chip cookies aren't a superfood? See which 3 superfoods can lengthen your life.

Yay, more good news on dark chocolate: may improve exercise capacity in diabetics and heart failure patients.

Handy tips to block evil effects of sugar, for those of us who aren't ever gonna give it up, via @joycecherrier.

Why You Shouldn’t Have More Than 354 Facebook Friends.

Creepy but fascinating research: does your cat harbor parasites that can seriously mess with your personality?

Study: chocolate may limit calorie absorption? Yay! I don't even CARE if Hersheys is behind it.

Holy Crap, if this study is true I have just died and gone to heaven: chocolate cake for breakfast leads to weight loss.

Gosh, that's motivating, thanks scientists! RT@weightloss: Spin class looks a lot like a heart attack biochemically.

Ha! UK study: Women are better at parking than men: "The Female Shuffle" and "Pose Parking" are also explained.

Suburbs = "the good life?" Yikes, not for me. Turns out, not so hot for health either.

Sadly, not unless you use it to glue your refrigerator shut: RT @MarshaHudnall: Can chewing gum help you lose weight?

Study of low fat vs low carb? Oops, subjects had their own ideas. Conclusion: adherence most crucial factor.

Hard working folks (11+ hrs a day) twice as likely to be depressed. Embrace Slackitude!

Warning: what your brain is doing NOW may affect Alzheimer's risk later: And, yikes... you're reading Cranky Fitness!

Any thoughts on a lazy Friday?

Turn a Crappy Day Into an Awesome One

2012-03-12T09:22:00.001-04:00

Photo origin unknown; if it's yours let me know!

So here's a multiple choice quiz, with only one (admittedly long-ass) question:

Knowing how annoying it is to send readers elsewhere to read blog posts, requiring the strangely abhorrent task of clicking on a link, waiting for a page to load, and ending up who-the-hell-knows-where, why would Crabby send you to another page to read today's post about dealing with horrible days? It's because:

1. Last night aliens invaded the Hillcrest neighborhood of San Diego, picked a residence at random, abducted Crabby and informed her that unless she made readers click on an extra link they would vaporize all the humans on earth;

2. Crabby tries to include at least a few posts about personal development every now and then over at her life coaching website and it's been awhile and she's too lazy to write a different post for each blog;

3. A slick multi-media publishing conglomerate offered Crabby 7.5 million dollars for the rights to Cranky Fitness, but they told her to get rid of her existing readers because they're too clever and sensible to buy overpriced products;

4. Crabby is discovering (despite some initial skepticism) that life coaching actually works, and is trying to lure in a few more awesome clients of the kind who come from reading Cranky Fitness. Thus she'd like to remind anyone who is remotely considering hiring her or recommending her to a friend that if you buy a 4 session package, her life coaching rates are a relatively cheap option in the otherwise costly market for such services;

5. The extra finger movements and irritation you experience changing venues burns 17.5 calories, and Crabby wants you all to earn an extra tasty bite of something today;

6. Crabby can reply to each comment individually on the other blog, and it gives her an excuse to hang out more in the comments--which she'd rather do anyway instead of the unappealing chores she's got lined up to do over the next few days;

7. All the Odd Numbered answers are true.

8. All the Even numbered answers are true.

And yes, 8 is the right answer...did you guess correctly? Hooray!

Still don't want to click an extra link for the turning around a bad day post? No worries! Just stay here and visit or revisit the last post on the Best Weight Loss Blog Nominations, which could use still use some more ideas and votes... plus you could win prizes! The nomination process is also the voting process, so the more mentions a blog gets the higher it will rank in the final list.

Also, I've noticed that many of you with awesome blogs of your own are avoiding self-promotion and not mentioning them. Or you're overly concerned with the definition of a "weight loss blog" and are afraid yours isn't. But if your blog helps or inspires people to lose weight and get in shape, then you can call it a weight loss blog... even if the focus is fitness or cooking or healthy living or whatever. So please go back and self-nominate and include the names and URLs--consider it a favor to me because I want your blogs on the list and it will save me a couple of steps when I vote for you!

Anyway, thanks for your patience with the extra link, and hope you're all having a great Monday.

Best Weight Loss Blog Update: Nominate Your Favorites and Win Prizes!

2012-03-08T10:44:00.001-05:00

Photo: Cape Cod Times.

Do you have a favorite weight loss or fitness blog and feel it deserves some recognition?

Would you like to win one of several lovely giveaway prizes for yourself and possibly your favorite blogger?

Yep, as ~~threatened~~ promised many months ago, it's time to update the musty old Best Weight Loss Blog list that Cranky Fitness readers compiled back in 2009. Weirdly enough, the thing remains an extremely popular destination for googlers on the web! Yet I feel terrible knowing hundreds and hundreds of poor innocent folks arrive here every day looking to find the best weight loss blogs... and instead find themselves wading through a bunch of abandoned blogs and broken links.

(Oh, and another favor I have of readers: I'm on the hunt for affordable web development help and looking for advice!)

So here's the scoop:

The Best Weight Loss Blogs-- 2012 Edition:

Quick summary, for those in a hurry:

Get To The Freakin' Point for Once, Crabby!

1. Vote for up to 10 of your favorite weight loss blogs in the comments below. Define "weight loss blog" however the hell you want. You could win something for doing this.

2. Don't wait forever; nominations will close in a couple weeks or so to allow time to evaluate and compile winning blogs.

3. Best blogs and reader giveaway winners will be announced on March 26 to allow me to compile results.

4. If you don't check back later, you could lose out on a prize you won.

Longer FAQ Version, For Those Avoiding Actual Work:

1. So Just What Are the Fabulous Prizes?

OK, so here's the funny part... I don't know yet!

My guess is there will be a thing or two that is Big and quite a few other prizes that are Smallish.

For some unknown and illogical reason, I suddenly decided NOW, RIGHT THIS MINUTE was the time to have this thing... just after I'd said "no" to about a million product review pitches. However, several great possibilities for prizes arrived in my inbox just hours after I decided to do this, and I suspect I can drum up other stuff over the next few weeks. Worst case, I'll re-purpose products and books etc that I already have, pay for a few new things and hope the Lobster is not reading this sentence, as well as do a lot of unattractive behind the scenes groveling to round up prizes. But wouldn't it be fantastic if sponsors with vaguely health/fitness related stuff were to spontaneously offer up their very fine wares or services in exchange for the chance to inform Cranky Fitness readers of their incredible benefits?

2. How Will The Top Blogs Be Chosen?

Reader nominations will be counted, plus, unlike last time, I get to nominate and vote too. And I'm not capped at 10 because hell, it's my blog. Many great and popular blogs got left off last time because people assumed of course someone else would nominate them, and I don't want that to happen again. There are also some prior nominations from an earlier post; see below if you give a crap.

At the end there may be a runoff of some sort, especially if there turns out to be a good prize for the blog winner. Or if I get lazy, we may just leave it as a big-ass list with the highest vote-getters on top.

3. Why Would A Well Written and Popular Weight Loss Blog Give a Shit What Cranky Fitness Readers Have to Say?

For whatever weird reason, the old Cranky Fitness poll brings in tons of new readers googling to find weight loss blogs. Blogs that end up high on the list get clicked on a lot, and not only does this bring them direct traffic, I believe it helps the blog's search engine rankings. The new 2012 poll will take a little while to build up the same awesome powers, but it will be greatly aided by the drastically edited old version directing people straight to the new post. I even feel comfortable saying I PROMISE that top ranked blogs will eventually get a lot of new readers from this silly thing, especially if they are small blogs right now.

Plus I'm hoping to have a nice prize for the top weight loss blog.

And hey, remember how a few months Crabby went scrambling around debasing herself in order to hustle up votes when she got nominated as one of Shape Magazine's Best Fitness Bloggers? Well, that's because she herself likes the new readers that popularity contests can bring.

4. What Can I Do to Increase My Chances of Winning a Prize?

Prizes will be chosen semi-randomly. Some randomness will be definitely be involved, but preference will be given to entrants who:

leave nominations complete with blog names and urls to make compiling easier;
mention this contest to others (and let me know via comment or email that you've done so); or
are nice humans who aren't spammers or folks just stopping by to nominate their own blogs and no one else's (although you're quite welcome to do so).

5. How Can I Rig This Thing To Make MY Favorite Blog Rank Higher?

Image swiped from here.

Besides nominating your favorite blog, you can tell me and others WHY it's awesome so we may want to vote for it too. You can also go to the blog itself and let the blogger and/or the readers know about the nomination, so that those who would like to see the blog get more reader and SEO recognition can help it out.

6. Wait, This All Sounds Vaguely Familiar...

Yep, if you were here over the summer when Cranky Fitness first emerged from its slumber (the blog was pretty much abandoned for about a year and a half) and you voted in the pre-poll, those votes and nominations will definitely be counted as explained earlier. However, to be eligible to win a giveaway prize this round, please comment and vote again. And yes, this means the early birds get two worms!

Another Reader Blog Poll You May Want to Check Out

Tim at A Daring Adventure, who like Crabby is also a Life Coach and GoogleWhore, has just compiled a list of the 20 of the Greatest Self-Improvement Posts Ever Written. A great resource, and if you're still avoiding actual work, go check 'em out.

And Now, Crabby's Desperate Plea for Web Help:

It's time. I'd really like to move Cranky Fitness and my coaching website to a new blogging platform without losing readers! I'd also like to upgrade the look a bit, learn enough to be able to tweak things myself once it's up, and maybe even get some graphics help on headers and banner ads. I'm eyeing the Wordpress Thesis theme but don't know anything about how wordpress works.

The thing is, I need affordable help, and could offer a little bit of money and a LOT of promotional exposure for someone who knows their way around blog transfer & set up, and who might be looking to expand their web design business. An on-going banner ad, a blog post all about the amazing transformation, some carefully crafted SEO key-word rich endorsements... you get the idea.

Anyone know of someone who might fit the bill? Please email me at crabbymcslacker at g mail dot com.

So, what are some of your favorite Weight Loss Blogs? And thanks, awesome readers, for all your help, past present and future!

I Used to Weigh Five Hundred Pounds

2012-03-05T11:21:00.001-05:00

Photo: bear.org

Well ok, I never literally topped the scale at 500 pounds. In fact I'm one of those boring fitness bloggers who completely lacks a triumphant story of dramatic weight loss. At most I was maybe 20 pounds heavier than I am now, so I'm talking metaphorical obesity.

But it occurred to me the other day as I flailing around on the elliptical, grinning like a deranged person from the endorphin rush, that I've actually been losing a lot of emotional "weight" over the last few months. Is it possible for a lifelong pessimistic worrywart to transform herself into a happy, hopeful, live-in-the-moment, greet-each-day-with-gratitude sort of optimist?

Well, I ain't completely there yet, but I've been on a crash "happiness" regime, and it's really working! I'd say on the emotional obesity scale, I've already shed well over half my excess worry and negativity. And I'm totally psyched to keep working hard on all this sappy self-improvement crap until I'm so blissed out that I'm completely insufferable to be around!

So what combination of lifestyle changes and self-help initiatives has created this bizarre change in my outlook and mood?

Well, there are lots of components, some of which have to do with awesome life and career changes. Life Coaching and bicoastal living really agree with me. And on the self-help front, it's been a lot of different things, which of course means there will be a ton of blog posts about it all coming up. (Lucky readers!)

But I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Rick Hanson from the get-go, since he was the inspiration for this whole Rewiring Crabby's brain project. His book Buddha's Brain led to my doing the Enlightened Brain review, and his wise advice is a big part of my new and possibly irritating positive outlook. So blame him if one day you come here and the blog has been rechristened Perky Fitness. Oh, and FYI, he's just starting a new telecourse on "Taking In the Good" in mid-March which I suspect will be quite worthwhile.

But anyway, whatever the reason for this sudden self-improvement orgy, it strikes me how similar my Personal Development journey is to the stories I hear on so many great weight loss blogs. So many of you have been down that road and reached your "happy ever after" goals, so I figure there are some lessons I can learn in my quest to make life one big freakin' all-you-can-eat cupcake buffet.

Note: your version of paradise may include slightly fewer carbs.

Photo: rosebengal

Overcoming Denial About Health Consequences

I was born a worrywart, and I suspect even in my crib I was anxiously conjuring up possible worst case scenarios. (Is that spoonful of baby food infested with worms and spiders? What if the vacuum cleaner escapes from the closet and sucks me up? Will the cat chew my leg off while I'm asleep?)

Eeeeeeek!
Photo swiped from learnvest

Over the years I've tried lots of stuff: deep breathing, progressive relaxation, meditation, self-hypnosis, positive self-talk, yada yada yada. But after a while I'd usually give up again and I'd spend all my energy focused on the healthy eating and exercise part, which came naturally, and ignored the psychological stuff, which felt way harder to deal with. (And yes, I am a licensed psychotherapist, and yes, this does serve to further reinforce the notion that therapists can be every bit as f-cked up as the clients they treat. Sorry, non-neurotic therapists of the world).

So many folks who have struggled with weight issues finally get serious when they allow themselves to face the health risks, and it was the same for me: I think my first post-menopausal physical was a bit of a wake-up call. Numbers were not what I was hoping, despite eating boatloads of veggies and working out religiously. (And my crappy family medical history doesn't help either--my father and maternal grandparents all died in their early 50's, and at least two of these early departures probably could have been prevented with lifestyle changes). It's not exactly a big secret that stress is bad for your health.

Though now that I'm sufficiently motivated, I'm forgetting all about medical threats and concentrating more on all the positive benefits I'm seeing. Somehow worrying about what will happen if I start worrying again strikes me as a bit counterproductive.

Not Giving Up When Results Aren't Instant

Some tricks I've tried have helped me quickly and dramatically; others takes weeks and weeks to have any impact. Still others that research says will be helpful eventually now just seem like hopeless tedious time-sucks. I still can't meditate to save my life, unless I do the easier guided kind that is isn't really building up my brain's ability to focus the same way as the hard kind. Whatever. This time I'm going to experiment with lots of different kinds of meditation, and try to do something every day, and keep at it even when I continue to suck. I notice that almost all tales of successful weight loss seem to involve fits and starts and slippage and stuckness, so why should I be any different?

But Getting Excited About Incremental Progress

Another trick I'm stealing from weight loss champions is to borrow some of the energy and excitement these folks bring with them all the way through the journey. They don't wait until some final ultimate "goal" weight is reached to celebrate success; success happens every time a thought or behavior is different and a tentative new habit gets carved deeper into the brain. I've been taking the time to notice the many ways I'm thinking and behaving differently than I used to, and examples are everywhere! I can't help noticing that I'm happier than I've ever been in my life.

Ditching Perfectionism

I know that the struggle to be perfect is the Worst Weight Loss Mistake one can make. So I'm hoping to take some inspiration from all of you who've mastered the art of staying positive and not giving yourselves a hard time whenever you screw up.

Finding Your Own Path

Holy crap, the need to customize your approach to what works for YOU and not someone else is absolutely crucial to either losing weight or finding bliss. The same way that "primal" or "vegan" diets don't suit everyone, approaches to finding happiness are not one size fits all.
In fact, most psychological self-help literature is wildly enthusiastic in tone, dismissive of potential obstacles, and tends to promise amazing changes with ease if you only follow a few simple steps. Self-help literature is basically designed for sunny suggestible optimists who don't need self help! If you are a skeptical cranky pessimist like me, you need to tailor an approach that is research-based, realistic, and sensible in tone and content.

Again, more detail later, but I've been finally finding the "right" kind of self help resources, and learning how to sift out the helpful nuggets from books and CD's that might otherwise make me feel barfy.

Becoming a Proselytizing Pain in the Ass

Yes, this is the unfortunate side effect of experiencing powerful personal change. Like the formerly obese person who is now fit and trim and goes around lecturing helpless bystanders about the wonders of kale and egg-whites and interval training, it's hard not to find myself preaching the happiness gospel. I have to resist the temptation to run around sharing "helpful" insights with people who really don't give a crap. However, I believe that's why they invented blogging--to keep those of us prone to climbing up on soap boxes far away from the general public!

Anyway, does anyone else work on psychological self-improvement? Got any other lessons from the weight loss or fitness arena that may help me on quest for perpetual bliss?

Best Budget Vacation: Hawaii for Fitness Freaks

2012-03-02T10:30:00.001-05:00

Yep, it's pretty there!

So sure, the title of this post is just the usual pathetic scrambling around for googleable catch-phrases, as this is really just a recap of a recent Hawaii trip with beloved spouse and mother-in-law.

But please don't wander away just yet! Because there are indeed 5 handy tips for health and fitness enthusiasts looking for a cheap Hawaii vacation. Plus, bonus: view an unflattering picture of Crabby lounging stark naked in a hot tub! And gosh, with that inducement, how can you resist accompanying us on our Affordable Hawaiian Holiday?

Top Five Budget Hawaii Fitness Vacation Tips

1. Sponge Off The Rich People

While we stayed in an extremely affordable condo, we happened to be within reasonable walking and driving distance from a number of Big-Ass Fancy Resorts. The resorts were sitting right on lovely beaches, many of which were accessible to ~~low lives like us~~ the general public if you knew where to park.

If there's anything better than whiling away a few hours at a tropical beach practicing your surfing, swimming, snorkeling, barefoot running, or napping skills--it's knowing that most of the other folks nearby were willing to fork over huge buckets of money in order to plop their affluent asses on the very same stretch of sand.

Not Ejected Yet!

There were no riff-raff detectors in the resort's restrooms, bars, lobby, lounges, landscaped grounds, or hiking paths. So by forgoing the 10,000 threadcount Egyptian cotton sheets or whatever the hell the resorts are luring people in with these days, we got the same awesome pampered feeling. For free!

And not only that, the resort we were closest to had a great fitness center that cost only $15 bucks a day if you bought a shareable package of 10 visits. (And yes, I am neurotic and somewhat exercise-addicted. But $75 for 5 visits was way cheaper than the expensive therapy I'd need to treat my problem. Plus, I figure it's a public service! A good workout in the morning makes me far less of a pain in the ass for the world to deal with).

But here's the very best part: besides a good selection of cardio and strength equipment and fitness classes, the fitness center day pass included FREE ACCESS TO THE LOVELY SPA!!

It was the kind of upscale place where everything smells good and they give you robes and slippers and big fluffy towels, and you can help yourself to free fruit and tea, enjoy the outdoor lava hot tub or the sauna or the steam room and scare other people away by giggling inappropriately. Even just taking a leisurely shower with pleasantly scented shampoos and soaps was heavenly. And again, you can luxuriate in the fact that other people are booking hundreds of dollars in spa services to support the whole enterprise while you rub your own darn feet!

Rectangular red swimsuit tops will be all the rage soon, I swear.

Note: if you're curious enough to inquire in the comments, and plan to vacation on the Big Island, I'll pop down and let you know which particular fancy resort spa deal I'm talking about.

2. Create Your Own Excursions

Hiking down to Waipio Valley with the adventurous Lobster: Free!

(And no extra charge for the blisters. That's one steep-ass hike.)

There are great swimming and sightseeing and hiking opportunities on all the islands, and if you've already rented a vehicle (or in some cases, a bike) there's almost too much to enjoy for free.

Try some new fitness activity, or at least try something familiar in a totally new environment. Hiking up a steep mountain, swimming in an ocean, or biking through a lava field are very different experiences than the treadmill, lap pool, or spin class. And sure, if you're coming for the 19th time, then go ahead and spring for tours and rides and various expensive excursions, some of which are probably wonderful. But if you want to pare down costs, investing in a guide book (or checking one out at the library, or using the web) will help you discover all kinds of options to keep you and your family active and entertained without having to sell one of the kids into slavery. (Well, unless it's a particularly obnoxious kid, in which case a cool helicopter ride to peek at rivers of molten lava might be kinda tempting.)

3. Hit the Grocery Store and Eat Out Strategically

Picnic!

Yes, many areas in Hawaii actually have real live grocery stores, and even natural food specialty places selling all kinds of healthy consumables at a small fraction the price you'd pay at a restaurant or snack bar for junky guilt-inducing meals. Setting is everything, and if you can bring some of your own healthy meals to a scenic location, you can have the twice the relaxing atmosphere of a swanky restaurant for a lot less money. If you don't have a place with a kitchen, a big cheap styrofoam cooler might be a very worthwhile investment.

But, hell, you're on vacation! Who wants to spend the whole time shopping and cooking and doing dishes or obsessing over whether the bell peppers in your salad are organic?

So don't be a total tightwad/healthfreak/martyr and prepare every meal yourself with only the purest ingredients. Have fun too!

Mai Tai's have fruit in 'em... gotta be full of antioxidants!

4. Screw the Souvenirs

So what's up with the idea that you need more than a few photos, a sunburn, and a slightly used cocktail umbrella to remember your awesome vacation? Do you really need matching Muu-Muus and Aloha shirts for the whole family? And will you come to regret the anatomically correct tiki wood carving of the naked male deity once he's back from his native island and sitting in your living room strutting his stuff?

You may want to skip the shopping, or, if you find something truly unique and special, make sure it's fairly priced and something you could still appreciate without having swilled a few exotic libations first.

5. Marry Someone With a Crapload of Frequent Flyer Miles.

If this seems impractical for whatever odd reason (perhaps your current spouse is not 100% on board with the plan?) then I believe there are ways to secure good deals on flights. This probably involves either clever advance planning or the ability to drop everything and wing off on a moment's notice. But what the heck do I know? If you googled into a blog called Cranky Fitness expecting to get the latest hot tip on airline deals I am terribly, terribly sorry to disappoint you. But just think how how those people googling "big bouncy breasts" feel when they get to an old post on sports bras? It could be way worse.

So How Did Crabby Do On Her Plan Not to F--- Up Her Vacation By Excessive Worrying?

Pretty darn awesome! Well, aside from a minor tantrum or two over not having internet access. The inspiring scenery and warm breezes, plus the foresight to pack some meditation tapes and a whole new slew of self-improvement books, seemed to have had a salutary effect.

Next self-development task for Crabby: to deal with an overflowing inbox, laundry basket, and other daunting re-entry tasks without letting real life totally harsh the Hawaiian mellow.

How about you folks, any tips on saving money on vacations? Or staying fit while traveling? Or handling vacation re-entry? Or heck, just let me know what I missed while I was gone!

Vacation! And How Not To F--ck It Up. Hopefully.

2012-02-17T13:04:00.001-05:00

Postcard found at: Mademoiselle B

So next week I'm heading off for a vacation to the Big Island of Hawaii with the Lobster and her up-for-anything 86-year old mother.

Whoopee! There should be lots of opportunity for fun and adventure and relaxation. Hiking! Sight-seeing! Snorkeling! Snoozing! Boozing! Snacking! Reading! Frolicking!

And yet travel being what it is, there will also be plenty of chances for delays, stress, inconvenience, disappointment, compromises, and dumb-ass mistakes.

So, what's it gonna be...An exciting escapade? A tranquil retreat? Or a chance to get as crabby and petulant as a two-year old on an apple-juice-and-oreo high who missed her nap time?

(One of whom will no doubt be behind me on the flight, screaming and kicking the back of my seat, if history is any guide...)

Yeah, flying sucks, kid. Deal with it.

Photo: wallcoo.net

Well, I may not have control over all the actual events that will transpire, but there are a few things I could keep in mind to make the "happy holiday" scenario a lot more likely.

And of course it's always fun to write an advice post on something you're about to do, so that whole tricky "practice what you preach" notion doesn't even have to enter into it!

So here are some hypothetical tips on How Not to F--ck up Your Vacation.

1. Pack for the Vacation You're Actually Going On

It's very easy to take a look at the pretty and adventurous people on the travel posters and figure you'll need to pack for a lot of dressy outfits for fancy restaurants, hiking boots for the 20 mile treks you're going to do, safari hats and snorkels and binoculars and mountain gear and... wait, did you forget to bring your favorite comfy pair of jeans and enough clean underwear? And where is that special kind of tea you love that would have spared you the stale cheapo hotel offering that tastes like old cigarettes?

Be realistic about what you like to do and have around. If your vacation suddenly transforms you into an entirely different person... that's what charge cards are for.

2. Anticipate Problems and Plan Ahead

Airport shuttles sometimes arrive late; favorite restaurants book up; people get sick; weather changes... leaving extra time, and having a few backup plans in mind can turn a total vacation-spoiling event into a "funny story" you will tell later when you can speak about it at cocktail parties without pulling out your hair or spewing obscenities.

3. But then Stop With the Freakin' Worrying

I've always been really, really talented at anticipating problems. In fact, the mere hint that something could conceivably go wrong (does that taxi driver have alcohol on his breath or is it just his cheap cologne?) can put me on the express train to imagined death and dismemberment faster than you can say "missed the scenic and uneventful drive from the airport."

But thanks to recent self-improvement efforts (which you will be hearing about later in tedious detail, don't worry) I'm actually getting much better about this! If you are a worrier, remind yourself:

Go ahead and take sensible evasive action if you can avoid problems, but if you can't, worrying isn't going to help.
Remind yourself of your incredibly crappy track record at predicting actual outcomes when worried. Don't keep going back to the ONE time you knew something bad was going to happen and it did, while conveniently ignoring the 97,312 times you knew something bad was going to happen and it didn't.
Stop thinking so much about the future, and realize you're perfectly fine right now. Have a snack, give yourself a foot massage, ask your charming and knowledgeable sweetie a question about something, watch people passing by and critique their outfits, or whatever you can do to enjoy the moment you're in now.
Deep breaths. Literally, not just metaphorically. Exhale for longer than you inhale, close your eyes (if you're not driving), give it a few minutes, and let your parasympathetic nervous system kick in and help you relax. (And yes, some of these tips are thanks to my geek-crush Rick Hanson who is helping me rewire my brain).

4. Adjust Your Expectations

Two common unconscious vacation fantasies: Everything will be different than it is at home! And: Everything will be exactly the same as it is at home!

Neither of these two things will be true. If you are expecting that you will be 1000% happier than you are at home due to a different climate and some new activities to pursue, but don't take into account that you and your companions are all the same people with the same flaws and limitations, and that all people worldwide are capable of carelessness, rudeness, and orneriness, then you may be headed for disappointment. Your temperamental toddler is just as likely to have a code-red nuclear meltdown in Disneyland as he is in the grocery store, and your easily-distracted husband may still tune out half your conversation in an elegant French restaurant the same way he does at the local taco stand.

Also, if you have your own perfect and favorite routines... you may have to let go of them for a while. Your carefully crafted workouts, healthy meals, comfy mattress, temperature and lighting preferences, expectations about noise, smells, traffic... well, some of these just ain't gonna happen the same way they do at home.

Does it really help you feel better to keep saying to yourself "what's wrong with these people, this shouldn't be this way?" Yet it's such an easy path to go down! Concentrate instead on enjoying the novelty of fire alarms that go off at 2am, the unplanned experiments in Intermittent Fasting you get to conduct when hotel restaurants close way before their posted hours, and even the lively domestic drama you get to enjoy from the adjacent hotel room that makes reality tv totally unnecessary!

5. Get Flexible and ... yes, meet New People and try New Things

This is the happy flip side of not being able to go on autopilot straight to your favorite daily destinations. What's different about where you are and how can you take advantage of it? A little bit of courage may introduce you to fun new people from different cultures with a refreshing perspective, alternative forms of exercise, exotic regional cuisine, art, dances, and other hobbies and activities you'd never think of trying at home. Then when you return, you may find that some of these have been there too, all along, in some form or another... but you never never thought to seek them out. The old expression "travel is broadening" is not actually referring to all-you-can-eat buffets.

6. Allow Enough Chill Time

Are you the sort who gets ambitious and plans activities for every second of your holiday, then get home exhausted and need a vacation from your vacation?

Make sure you get some lovely little islands of time where there is Absolutely Nothing You Have to Do. And if you're traveling with others, no matter how companionable they are, make sure you don't have to feel "on" all the time. Get the hell away from everyone else and you may meet the most exotic person of all... the relaxed and happy "you" that you hardly ever get to hang out with.

So, wish me luck! I'll try to post photos or something. But there's no internet in our condo, so if there's a bit of silence over the next week or so, don't be like me and assume the plane must have gone down.

Anyone else have any vacation tips, horrid or wonderful experiences to relate, or thoughts about anything, relevant or not?

Note: Due to a recent onslaught of viagra spam, and my reluctance to use word verification, comments are now closed for this particular post. But don't go away... most Cranky Fitness posts are still open for comments and they always make me happy!

Stalking Your Mentors Plus More Giveaway Winners!

2012-02-14T13:35:00.001-05:00

One fun benefit of having a blog, is that sometimes you get to run giveaways. And the most common method of picking winners is to use the Random Number Generator.

But I hate the horrid random number generator. Because I DO have favorite folks who comment here, and I'm intrigued by many of the new folks who stop by, and I always hope the RNG will align with my preferences and pick someone I'd love to see win! Very often, though, it doesn't.

Evil Random Number Generator!

On the other hand, I also love the Random Number Generator. Because what happens if you don't use one? Well, you have to pick a winner yourself, and own up to that choice, and then picture all the other deserving folks who didn't win and it's all your fault 'cause it was you who didn't pick them.

That's why I generally take the wussy way out and use the RNG. (Although this week I have to say I'm quite pleased with where it landed; and don't worry, I will eventually tell you who won the Jungle Gym XT and the Life Coaching package).

But as it happens, there is a life coach/self-improvement blogger I've been following enthusiastically, Tim Brownson, who is running a giveaway for life coach mentoring on his blog. And he not using random number generator. So despite the fact there are already hundreds of gazillions of contenders, I'm throwing my hat in the ring. The guy is wicked smart, funny, inspirational, publishes useful self-improvement ebooks (some for free) and uses lots of swear words. What's not to like?

Why am I mentioning this? Well, Tim is just as much of a google-whore as I am, and he wants lots of potential coaches to know about his offer. Plus, I'm sure he wouldn't mind a few new blog readers, coaching clients and ebook buyers hearing about him as well. He's a very amusing blogger, so feel free to click on one of the links above and perhaps Tim will notice and it will help my chances of scoring his help for free.

And if you didn't win the life coaching part of the Cranky Fitness giveaway, and are interested in some life or wellness coaching, and don't want any from me despite my already affordable life coaching rates plus the limited time Cranky Fitness 50% off discount good until March 1... then Tim would make an excellent choice! His wisdom and extra years of experience will no doubt more than make up for rather large price difference between us. And his ebooks are excellent and often either free or cheap!

Hey Tim, Lookin' Good!

OK, so enough self-promotion and mentor-stalking, let's find out won the Cranky Fitness Big Weird Giveaway, shall we?

TRX-knockoff suspension trainer

The winner is Sinner Ella De'Ville! Whose giveaway comment btw, was particularly hilarious. This doesn't usually make a difference to the RNG but apparently it was in a whimsical mood this morning.

And who won the Life Coaching Package?

Runs With Blisters!

Congrats, winners, and please email me before the end of the day Friday to claim your prize. I'm at Crabbby McSlacker @ gmail.com.

And thanks to everyone who commented at either post, I love your comments and really appreciate them.

Adding Instability to Your Workout: Clever Idea or Clueless Trend?

2012-02-13T09:30:00.000-05:00

Photo swiped from BalanceWines

So this was supposed to be a post all about how playing around with unstable surfaces or loads can be a super-effective way to pump up your exercise routine.

However, turns out the situation is a little more complicated than I originally thought!

So here's what happened: a helpful reader left a comment on the creating a cheap home gym post that mentioned sandbag training, which looks to be an awesome low cost do-it-yourself home gym option. In checking it out, I came across a explanation of why it's way better to hoist sneaky unpredictable shifting bags of sand than solid, boring, immobile free weights. (Or, heaven forbid, to use even sissier gym equipment like stationary bikes or strength training machines).

The key is, apparently: instability!

Here's what got me all enthusiastic about incorporating more stability challenges into my workout. To quote a sandbag training guy:

"Instability exercises are based on the well-proven idea that an asymmetrical, shifting weight produces far better exercise results, because it forces your body to compensate and work out dozens of accessory muscles that otherwise would not see use." By contrast, using regular "well-balanced, symmetrical exercise equipment can leave weak points in your musculature."

Sounds great! Plus it totally explains all the trendy functional fitness people in my gym running around doing weird scary shit like hopping up and down on one foot on bosu balls while juggling 50 lb barbells with their eyes closed.

However, is it true? Do you get better exercise results if you challenge your stability while working out?

Well, as it turns out... maybe! The answer varies depending on what you're looking to do, how you approach it, and how you define "better exercise results."

First up:

Unstable Surface Training

While there are a lot of different ways to adding instability to your routine and challenge your balance, the one that's the most controversial of late is Unstable Surface Training, or UST.

Seems a lot of personal trainers are promoting UST as a creative means to achieve most of your functional fitness aspirations. Working out on an unstable surface like a vibrating platform, bosu ball, wobble board or stability ball is supposed to do a bunch of cool things. These include recruiting more muscles, making your workout tougher in the same amount of time, improving your balance, strengthening your core, and conferring the ability to wrestle yourself out of the jaws of bloodthirsty grizzly bears should any attack you while you're snowboarding down a steep Alaskan mountainside pursued by an avalanche.

Or something like that.

But despite all the personal trainers hauling out spherical objects or other wobbly surfaces and making people do weird things on them, recent research has challenged the notion that this technique will make you fitter and stronger. In fact, an oft-cited study says that UST actually "attenuates performance improvements in healthy, trained athletes."

Wait, what?

But as the author explained further in an excellent Experience Life article (which I shall be plagiarizing from even more extensively below):

"Our research showed that replacing as little as 2 to 3 percent of overall training with unstable-surface training in healthy, trained athletes impaired the development of sprinting speed and vertical jump height.... Grass and turf fields do not move, nor do tracks or basketball and tennis courts... We can’t train slowly on an unstable surface and expect to be fast and powerful on a stable surface.”

Another Unstable Surface Training article explains a tradeoff that occurs when stability varies. If you're doing a stable exercise, like using a leg press machine, you can really beef up your "prime mover" activation and can generate a lot more power in your major muscles than you can when you're doing an unstable exercise, like a one-legged squat on a bosu ball. On the other hand, the scary unstable kind of exercise uses a lot of stabilizer activation, so you're more likely to hit those little muscles that keep you from toppling over in an undignified manner.

Bottom line: if you want to sprint really fast down the track, or jump really high, or look more like this dude...

photo: posedown

... then you may not want to spend a big chunk of your workout on a wobble board.

However, if you're trying to get better at an exercise that actually involves an unstable surface, then for goodness sake, go ahead and train on one!

Photo: Petsfoto

Injuries and Unstable Surface Training

If you're teetering around challenging your balance by working out on something wobbly, there's always the chance you could go sprawling ass over teakettle and seriously hurt yourself. On the other hand, as physical therapists or purveyors of UST exercise equipment will happily point out, doing stability exercises can be a helpful way to challenge core muscles, prevent injuries and do some rehab after you've gone out and messed something up.

Your most useful accessory when approaching exercise on unstable surfaces? Common sense!

Balance and Stability Challenges On Solid Ground

Cribbing from the aforementioned Experience Life article, there are a number ways to get some of the benefits of instability training without wandering into controversial UST territory. As it happens, these are all things I've randomly started doing myself for one reason or another, so of course it makes me even more convinced that the Experience Life people are brilliant! Anyway, these can include:

Exercising with your eyes closed. (And yep, I do part of my cardio on the elliptical this way, without holding onto anything, and one day I will probably kill myself. But what the hell, in the meantime it's pretty darn fun.)

Strength training that involves balancing on one leg. If you're hardcore, sure, do pistol squats like Charlotte, but I find even lunges (especially backwards walking lunges) to be plenty challenging for my meager balancing ability. If a good part of the move involves putting all your weight on one leg, then chances are, you're going to have to work a bit to keep from keeling over into an awkward heap in front of that personal trainer you've been eyeing who keeps tempting you with his cute bosu balls.

Moving your center of gravity up and out. You can do this by raising your arms or hoisting weights above your head. Kettlebell swinging, medicine balls, and using dumbbells for things like the evil Turkish get-up or the one-handed overhead squat are some handy ways to shift your center of gravity around to destabilize yourself.

And finally:

Using uneven loads. Hmm, like the shovelglove? Or, well, DIY sandbags? It seems we've come full circle!

Do any of you guy incorporate stability training in your exercise program? Or is getting out of bed and making your way to the kitchen without tripping over the cat good enough?

Pycnogenol Giveaway Winner and Solemn Promise

2012-02-10T10:46:00.001-05:00

Remember our jaunty little French Maritime Pine Bark Pills?

Not Actual Size. Oh, and they're capsules, not people.

Well, the random number generator has bestowed them upon...Jodie Dierickx! Congrats, Jodi, and please email crabbymcslacker at gmail dot com with your mailing address by Wednesday Feb 15th to claim your prize, or I'm afraid a new random drawing will be held.

Oh, and for those who were curious about the research behind pycnogenol supplements, I've got an updated link to a bunch of studies about pycnogenal health benefits.

Also, for those of you who like to win free stuff, don't forget to check out the Fixing Broken New Years Resolutions Giveaway if you haven't already entered. Prizes are either a gently used Jungle Gym suspension trainer or a package of free life coaching sessions valued at $275.

Wait, what? Some of you hate reading giveaways? No worries! The next Cranky Fitness post is going to be about a cool way to increase the effectiveness of your workouts, and I promise it will contain absolutely no opportunity whatsoever to win anything!

So stay tuned and have a great weekend!

Resolution Renovation... Plus Big Weird Giveaway!

2012-02-07T12:04:00.002-05:00

Photo: Hypervocal.com

Did you make some hopeful New Year's Resolutions a few weeks back? Or, if you're not the resolution sort, have you set some worthy "self-improvement" goals?

Awesome!

So.... how's that going?

Perhaps you're exceeding your wildest dreams of success. Or maybe you're pretty well on track to be one of the meager 12% who actually keep New Years Resolutions. If so, way to go!

But if you've already abandoned ship on your promises to yourself, or are in danger of doing so soon--don't give up just yet. Some simple suggestions may help you get right back on track again. Or at least they'll remind you that you have plenty company in resolution-related lameness. It's not just you!

So you can either go directly to some tips on Fixing Broken New Years Resolutions, or hang out here a bit longer and find out about the rather odd double-giveaway (plus Big Discount) we have going this week...with no need for a pesky U.S. mailing address like most giveaways!

First, The Weird Prizes:

1. A Handy Portable Exercise Gizmo!

And yes, it's a slightly-used but not-smelly-or-gross-or-anything demonstration model of a Jungle Gym XT suspension training system that would otherwise cost about a hundred bucks. I already had a TRX when I did the review, so I haven't needed to use it myself. I will clean and disinfect the handles and clumsily cram the thingy back into its undersized box with the accompanying DVD and mail it to one randomly chosen winner--and again, since it's coming from me personally, international folks can enter too!

2. A package of 4 free Life Coaching sessions (plus an hour long intake) valued at $275 by a Life and Wellness coach we just happen to know!

Hey There!

One winner will be randomly chosen, and again, you don't need to live in the U.S. Sessions can be by cell phone, video skype call, or email, and would begin starting in March, to enable the winner a chance to fill out a form and sign a long-ass coaching contract, as well as to give the Coach a chance to skip town in late February for a family vacation.

I've been meaning to offer a 2012 coaching giveaway to Cranky Fitness readers, because they make the most awesome clients, and post-resolution season seemed as good a time as any!

3. Limited time 50% off life coaching discount:

For folks who sign up, get their forms in, and pay for a package before March 1, the Cranky Fitness 25% off discount of regular Life Coaching Rates will be increased to 50% off. (After March 1 it's back to 25% off, which is still a pretty darn good deal if you google around and compare prices. Which is sometimes a challenge because many coaches won't tell you upfront how much it's gonna cost!)

And if you get excited about the discount, sign up and pay and it turns out you win the giveaway? No worries, your fee will be refunded to you.

Giveaway Instructions:

To enter the drawing for the suspension trainer, just leave a comment here on this post about anything in hell you feel like talking about.

To enter the drawing for the free life coaching, go to the Broken New Years Resolution post over at LiveaLittleCoaching.com and leave a comment there saying something vaguely related to resolutions or self-improvement goals. Note: if you want to leave a comment there but don't want any life coaching, you can always politely decline should you win! No need to explain exactly how unwelcome you'd find the prospect of winning in the comment itself unless you just can't help it.

Important Deadline: Drawings for both prizes will take place in about a week, and you'll have until the end of the day Friday February 17th to claim your prize.

Good luck, and hope you all are kicking resolution ass!

Pycnogenol: What the Heck It Is, and Why You May Want to Win Some

2012-02-03T10:16:00.002-05:00

Hint: it comes from here.

Yes, this is indeed another review/giveaway post. But I realize it might take a little bit of explaining to get you all pumped up to win a 12 week supply of...

Pine bark pills.

But wait, don't go away! These are "French Maritime" pine bark capsules! Doesn't that sound a bit more jaunty? Picture 'em sauntering around in sailor suits eating croissants and smoking Gauloises if that makes them sound more intriguing.

Does that help?
(Image swiped from La Maison Boheme)

Actually, there's a fair amount of research that supports a long list of potential health and cosmetic benefits for pine bark supplements. Part of the reason I took on this review/giveaway is that I was greedy to try some free for myself.

So, are you curious about what pycnogenol does, why it's awesome, and how you can win some? (And folks from Canada and Europe are eligible to win too for a change!)

I got a nifty press kit with all kinds of research on the benefits of pycnogenol, and the studies look pretty darn official and persuasive. But the problem? You'd have to come over to my house to read them yourself. I was hoping to link to the research library over at the pycnogneol website, because there's no way in hell I'm retyping a whole thick stack of studies. But guess what? It seems to be undergoing construction and making it extremely hard for lazy bloggers to just link over. UPDATE! It's apparently only the U.S. site that's still under construction, and there is tons of lovely pycnogenol research at their international website. Plus there's the stodgy government National Institutes of Health site MedlinePlus, which also has an impressive list of possible pycnogenol health benefits. However, they are a bit more cautious in their endorsement of the stuff.

Or heck, you can skip the actual research and just take a little informative quiz!

1. What is Pycnogenol?

a) A super antioxidant, natural anti-inflammatory which selectively binds to collagen and elastin and aids in the production of endothelial nitric oxide which helps to vasodilate blood vessels;

b) A potent recreational drug which will cause you to see purple iguanas crawling out of people's ears;

c) A placebo made of powdered Kool-Aid and pine scented air-freshener as an elaborate prank to fool greedy unsuspecting health bloggers; or

d) A large anal suppository noted for its ability to raise your speaking and singing voice 3 octaves higher.

2. Which one of the following health or cosmetic benefits is Pycnogenol supplementation NOT associated with in at least some study or other?

a) Asthma and allergy relief;
b) Increasing skin elasticity, smoothness and wrinkle reduction;
c) Lowering blood pressure;
d) Improvements in cardiovascular health;
e) Reducing symptoms of osteoarthritis;
f) Improved cognitive function;
g) Reducing pelvic pain and menstrual disorders;
h) Fighting diabetes;
i) Lowering inflammation;
j) Reducing tinnitus (ringing in the ears);
k) Fighting varicose veins;
l) Increasing athletic endurance;
m) Enabling time travel up to 500 years forwards or backwards;
n) Reducing circulation problems like leg pain and fluid retention;
o) Treating retinal disease;
p) Improving joint health.

3. Possible Side Effects of Pycnogenol May Include:

a) the sudden appearance of extra toes or fingers;
b) a boost to the immune system, which can be problematic for auto-immune disorders; dizziness; gut problems; headache; and mouth ulcers;
c) a French accent;
d) invisibility.

Answers: 1: a; 2: m; and 3: b... but you knew that!

What Did Crabby Notice Most From Trying Pycnogenol for 12 weeks?

It was actually first pitched as a way to "maintain beautiful skin from the inside out." Which sort of assumes you have beautiful skin to maintain in the first place. Sadly, after 5 decades of playing out in the sun, that's not what I'm starting with. Can't say I noticed a huge difference, but maybe a bit more color? I will spare you before and after photos, mostly because I forgot to take any.

However, during the testing period I found it noticeably easier and easier to extend the duration of my cardio workouts, even at a challenging intensity! The whole "increasing athletic endurance" was definitely true in my case. Was it due to the pycnogenol or some other aspect of my ever-changing routine? I have to confess I was not the least scientific about my personal experimentation. During the same period I also switched up my method of HIIT, started eating nutritional yeast, discovered mushroom powder, and had a bikini wax. So it remains unclear the exact cause of my newfound ability to dance around like an absolute ass on the elliptical machine for twice as long. But I'm superstitious enough not to want to abandon the pycnogenol at this point.

And reading the research, there were so many potential health benefits to this stuff and no side effects that were relevant to me, so it seemed a reasonable thing to keep taking just on general principle. Plus it's not outrageously expensive or anything.

So, would you like to win some stuff that might get you glowy skin, super-endurance, relief from a bunch of nagging health problems? Just leave a comment below! I'll announce the random winner in a week. Be sure to check back before the end of the day Wednesday Feb 15th to claim your prize or a new random drawing will be held.

Do you guys have any favorite supplements? Or do you try to get everything you need from your healthy diet?

More Snacks: Scary Seaweed! Plus Re-Giveaway Winner

2012-01-30T12:14:00.000-05:00

Yep, we have a new winner of the HUMAN snack-pack and t-shirt giveaway!

Plus there's also a micro-post about snacking. Because the funny thing about snacking... even after you've said you're done, finished, that's absolute it for now? Somehow two minutes later you're all "well, hell, just one more..."

And what happened to the big ol' post I was going to do on an important, sensible, and much-loathed medical screening procedure I had done last week? Well, still waiting for lab results, and somehow it seemed like its asking for trouble to write the whole thing without knowing what the biopsy's gonna say. So stay tuned and there'll be a post later on that--because no doubt you are all just dying to know what Crabby has hidden up her... um, sleeve! Her blogging sleeve, yeah, that's it. There might be text and pictures and videos, who knows?

But First Off, Our Re-Giveaway Winner:

The new winner is Azusmom! And I'm always psyched when the RNG gets around to recognizing long-time Cranky Fitness commenters. Congrats, Azusmom, and please check in to claim your prize before the end of day Friday, or at this point I'll just arbitrarily assign a new re-re-giveaway winner.

Got a Favorite Snack that Frightens Bystanders?

Anyone else have some go-to snacks that seem to make those around you nervous? The more new health food novelties I experiment with (kale chips? Bright orange nutritional yeast sprinkled on everything?) the more I'm discovering a great side benefit: I can freely offer to share with those around me, and no one takes me up on it!

My new favorite, which I mentioned last time, is a seaweed snack that the sinister folks at Trader Joes are seducing innocent snackers with.

I was cheerfully oblivious for many years, because I've never been a sushi fan and thought "seaweed? No way!"

And the first time I tried one of these seaweed snacks, I almost spit it out. Eww! It tastes fishy, what a vile and disagreeable thing for a cracker to do! Who would eat these on purpose? That's... hmm, hang on... because it seems there is this also a nice little oily salty crunchy action going on behind the fish taste.... Maybe not so gross? Perhaps one more... No, Eww there's the fish again! Aack! But wait... mmm, oil and salt, yumm!

By the end of the first pack, sadly, I was hooked. Now, damn it, I am forced to visit Trader Joe's on an ever-escalating schedule. Because if I tried to buy a week, or god forbid, a month's, supply... I'd need a forklift and a dumptruck and it's hard to find parking for 'em in the crowded TJ's lot.

However, it could be worse: as it happens, there are lots of nifty seaweed health benefits, since sea vegetables have "anti-inflammatory, anti-cancer, anticoagulant, antithrombotic, and antiviral properties."

And despite the lovely oily/salty flavor, the nutritional info isn't too horrible at all:

Hate Me For Going On and On About Trader Joes 'Cause You Don't Have One?

Doesn't it suck that we can have a McDonalds on every freakin' corner throughout the world, and yet getting to your nearest Trader Joe's may require you to drive for 47 hours and cross through several large red states on your way? Well, there are other brands of seaweed snacks at Asian grocery stores and health food places. And I'm too much of a novice to have investigated other sea vegetables, or even tried the bit sheets of nori that aren't conveniently marketed and displayed as snacks. But I suspect these may be options as well.

Anyone else know of any Scary Snacks, either that you or others around you fear? Or any thoughts on anything at all?