Cranky Fitness

Positive Thinking: New Reasons to Say The Hell With It

2009-07-10T06:32:00.002-04:00

At Cranky Fitness, we are not known for Excessive Optimism, Unrestrained Cheerfulness, or Gratuitous Positivity--unless there's an actual reason to be positive. And, um, how often does that tend to happen?

I've even been an advocate of Negative Thinking, if it's the sensible kind. (My philosophy, in brief: Anticipate the negative and plan for the worst, but appreciate the hell out of it when the bad things don't actually happen!)

Plus, if a blogger named Crabby McSlacker can't defend pessimism, then who the heck else will?

Well... it turns out that in the battle against relentless Positivity, I've got some new allies!

The folks at Time Magazine*** just did an article on the futility of positive thinking that contradicts everything you ever heard before. The article's title? "Yes, I Suck: Self-Help Through Negative Thinking."

Basically, it discusses research showing that "trying to get people to think more positively can actually have the opposite effect: it can simply highlight how unhappy they are." And it introduced me to a whole "third wave of therapy" based on accepting, rather than fighting negative thoughts.

Think that sounds totally backwards and crazy-assed?

Well, so do some of the more traditional cognitive psychologists! So it seems there's a little cognitive catfight going on.

Note: no Cognitive Psychologists
were harmed during this dramatization.
Photo: Icanhascheeseburger

Why Does Happy Talk Sometimes Backfire?

According to the Time Magazine roundup, research tends to show that when people hear an argument they don't believe, it makes them even more likely to cling to their original position.

Not buying it? Well, as an example, they ask you to picture a light-night bar debate in which someone claims that "Sarah Palin is brilliant," or that "Michael Jackson was not a freak." OK, now see how that works?

And a new positivity study suggests that this same obstinacy may kick in when it comes to positive self-talk. In particular, if a person with low self esteem tries to repeatedly tell themselves that they are lovable, it doesn't raise their self esteem--it lowers it!

Don't Fight the Feelings

So now there's a relatively new approach to therapy that incorporates research like this into the futility of changing negative thoughts. It's called "ACT," for "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy."

Spokes-shrink Steven Hayes says we should "acknowledge that negative thoughts recur throughout life," and instead of trying to challenge them, "we should concentrate on identifying and committing to our values."

What should we do with these negative thoughts? Instead of arguing with them, Hayes advocates observing them with mindfulness, defusing their power, and not getting entangled in them.

For example, instead of saying to yourself "I'm depressed," Hayes thinks you should say "I'm having the thought that I'm depressed."

You're also supposed to work on clarifying your values, and moving towards actually living them. Do you say you value your friends and community and physical well-being, but somehow spend every weekend sitting in front of the TV scarfing cheetos by yourself?

Whoops!

It All Get's Too F*cking Arcane and Tedious for Me, Though

I was initially intrigued, because while I believe in the efficacy of more traditional cognitive therapy in a LOT of situations, other times it just seems a little too fake and cheerleadery. Sometimes life just sucks, and the pessimistic view is not "irrational," and efforts to take a crappy situation and paint it over with falsely positive happy talk can indeed seem counterproductive.

However, my initial curiosity about ACT and this whole "third wave" thing was dampened a bit once I started reading more. "Relational frame theory" and "functional contextualism" and how is it different from "dialectical behavioral therapy," blah blah blah--it's the same kind of incomprehensible mumbo-jumbo psychological theories always seem to employ in order to sound scholarly and serious. Someday, with a bit more patience, I'll have to wade in and find out if there are good practical ideas for dealing with counter-productive thinking lurking behind the jargon.

(But then I also heard rumors from the Traditional Cognitive Therapy people that ACT people were just a big ol' new age cult and they and ~~make people wear silly hats and use secret handshakes~~ discourage dissent. What do I know? But check out the photo of their Leader-- it does indeed look kinda scary.)

Why Choose?

Here's what I think: if you have negative thoughts that are getting in your way and it helps to argue with them, then argue with them! Replace them with happier, more positive thoughts.

But if the negative thoughts persist despite your efforts, then accept them as thoughts and don't let them control you. Focus on your goals instead.

Whatever works!

Or, if all else fails, try Crabby's Home Remedy: whine a little, then go for a nice long walk, then come home and curl up with a comforting beverage and cuddle with a cat, dog, child, significant other, rabbit, pet rock, garden gnome, security blanket, or whatever makes you happy.

And if you still want to join a cult? Crankyism is always on the lookout for new recruits!

***Confidential Aside to Time Magazine:

OK, thanks very much for the research and all, but fer cryin' out loud, how is anyone supposed to take your online articles seriously when they're full of these ridiculous computer-generated links for totally unrelated crap? Like these two had "see pictures of couples in love," "see pictures of people mourning the death of Michael Jackson," and "see pictures of facial yoga." WTF???

So, how do you folks deal with negative thoughts? Fight them, accept them, obsess about them, defuse them, believe them, ignore them?

At The Juice: Sex, Love, Romance and Free Movies!

2009-07-10T06:02:00.002-04:00

It's time again for a quick sponsored round-up of what's been going at the Juice.

And yes, the topic of the week was Sex and Love and Romance. But mostly: Why the Hell isn't There Time for Any? There was a video interview with an efficiency expert named Samantha Ettus who had lots of tips for finding more time. Plus she's kinda take-no-prisoners about the need to make Love a priority. Like my new bff Jillian Michaels, she doesn't accept much in the way of excuses!

(But don't worry, there's still plenty of support for any love-slackers out there. I posted some reasons NOT to find more time for love and Laura from Org Junkie confessed to sometimes being Too Lazy for Love.)

But enough about Sex and Love, what about Free Stuff? Is there a new giveaway over there yet?

Yes, indeed there is! Just go to this giveaway post and leave your tips for finding more time for romance and you could win a Free Year of Netflix movies!

And in honor of the movie giveaway and the "time for romance" theme, I think I might post this weekend about Romantic Movies--what are your favorite ones ever? Hope to see you there.

Anatomy of a Food Craving

2009-07-09T00:01:00.001-04:00

Cupcakes or Carrots?

Twinkies or Tomatoes?

Ever wonder what leads you to choose bad food instead of good? We at Cranky Fitness, in our ceaseless quest for ~~a good twinkie defense~~ world enlightenment, offer this diagram as a possible explanation of how the decision is made. (If the text is too small, click on the diagram to enlarge it.)

To present the information in a more ~~pseudoscientific~~ formal manner, here's a chart:

For a more philosophical take on this same subject, check out Patty's blog, Fit by my 50th. Me, I love using diagrams and charts to explain things, because ~~I want the blog to look Importantly Scientific~~ I tend to dither when I put things into words. But I think Patty did a good job. Also, Mizfit wrote a great post about how listening to her body helped her become thin and fit. Since she's in kick-ass shape, I think she just possibly might be on the right track with this approach.

What do you think?

Do you let your food decisions get made by your taste buds? Or do you listen to the rest of your body?

Weight Loss Blogs: Kickin' Ass and Takin' Names

2009-07-08T06:35:00.001-04:00

"Inspiration" Back Before There Were Blogs
(Vintage ad photo: lobstar28)

Cranky Fitness is not actually a Weight Loss blog, though we write about lots of similar things. Our editorial stance: healthy living, eating reasonable portions of nutritious whole foods, getting lots of vigorous exercise, avoiding too much junk food and slothfulness--these are all really important things to do! And yet they are also total pain in the ass.

As it happens, the same tempting but unwise behaviors that cause health problems (hello, comfy couch and yummy pint of Ben and Jerry's!) also tend to cause weight gain. So we cover a lot of the same ground as a weight loss blog without technically being one. (And this is not to say that we have never counted a calorie, climbed on a scale, or noted the snugness or looseness of our jeans. We just try to keep the focus here on health.)

However, I thought it was time for a post in praise of weight loss blogs, because I think they are so inspiring and awesome!

And I'm also hoping you folks will help me collect a big ol' list of Cranky Fitness Reader favorites so we can do a follow-up post. You always find the greatest stuff out there on the web and I'd love to hear what you think some of the best ones are. I'm only mentioning a few random ones myself to get the ball rolling--if I tried to be all-inclusive I could be at it for weeks and still forget some of the best ones!

So what are my top reasons for loving weight loss blogs?

1. Before and After Pictures!

(Photo: practicalowl)

I love to see the evidence of physical transformations, especially when these transformations are accomplished by hard work and wise choices--and not via scammy "one rule for a flat stomach" shenanigans.

A personal favorite is Pasta Queen's 3-D page, but there are lots of other great "before" and "after" and "during" photos out there. (For example Shelley has a nice 1 year comparison shot featuring a flashy pink bike over at at A Forty Something Weight Loss Journey, and Bella at Feed Me I'm Cranky has some labelled "before and forever," because what does "after" really mean, anyway?)

Got some before/after pictures yourself? If you do, please feel free to email them in (with a link to your blog, if you have one) and if we get more than one or two I'll add them to the follow-up post.

2. Honest Ups and Downs

Some days, I just don't think I can take one more stupid women's magazine at the grocery check-stand screaming silly promises like "Lose 20 Pounds in 3 Weeks Without Dieting, It's Easy!" Well, it's not easy to lose weight and keep it off. And I hate it when the perky people in the magazines try to imply that it's just a matter of finding the right "solution" and then, presto! Steamed chicken and vegetables is all of a sudden more appealing than chocolate cake? Setting the alarm for 4:3o am to get to the gym before work is going to become a fun new part of the daily routine? Reeeeally?

Well, fortunately, weight-loss bloggers aren't media-created alien beings, they're real people. They sometimes sleep through shrieking alarm clocks dreaming of Krispy Kremes instead of boot camp, and hit all kinds of other road blocks.

Whether it's Lyn from Escape from Obesity trying to regain her focus; Vraz60 of Just for the Hell-th of it suffering through a golf game in suffocating heat; Moonlight Dancer battling hormone induced weight gain; or Larkspur at Am I Really That Fat trying to hang in there despite confronting an unflattering photo, they keep it real! There's a refreshing lack of fake magazine cheerfulness in weight loss blogs. Some days just suck! Honest weight loss bloggers don't pretend otherwise.

3. They're often Really Funny!

I don't know why people who are blogging to lose weight seem better at the whole humor thing that people blogging about, say, Search Engine Optimization or Quilting or Composting. But dang it, they are! And it's not just the famous ones we all love like Shauna at Diet Girl. There are plenty of other funny blogs like Jack Sh*t, Getting Fit, or Chunky Monkey Mama. And so many of you who contribute comments to Cranky Fitness are totally hilarious!

4. Advice and Inspiration

Weight loss bloggers are a great source for advice, inspiration, and, of course, products and recipes! (I am sorely tempted, for example, by Camevil's lentil, brown rice, and onion dish over at 21 Days Later, and I'm going to try it as soon as I can get a hold of some garam masala. And Roni of Roni's Weigh has a whole recipe blog called Green Lite Bites with all kinds of great stuff.) Bloggers like Attrice at Exceptionally Fat, and Lynn at Hungry Little Caterpillar have a great way of putting things in perspective, and sharing those "ah ha" moments that can inspire even the slackers among us into believing that change is possible!

Tell Us Some of Your Favorites!

This post is about Weight Loss bloggers (this time), rather than health and fitness generally, and I'd LOVE to hear who you like to read. And I'll either update this post or do a follow up to make sure everyone gets to hear about the Cranky Fitness Reader favorites.

Geeky Aside: Wanna Leave a Link in the comments to your favorite blog?

Blogger is a really annoying blog platform for trying to leave links in the comment section, and you certainly don't have to. But if you ever want to try it, it CAN be done if you manually put in html coding.

Do the words "html coding" give you a severe case of nausea? Fear not! The reason so few of us bloggers ever tell readers how to do it is (a) it's a pain to do and (b) if we try to type in the code to explain it--the sample html magically turns into a link when it gets published and totally hides the part we're trying to explain.

So, in a weird experiment, I'm putting in the html coding for creating links in here as a picture. So here are the instructions for linking to a hypothetical blog named "Blog Name" that lives at www.blogurl.com. If anyone is feeling brave, give it a try! Or bookmark this page and come back later and try it on another blog you like better than Cranky Fitness. I'll never know. Note: href is not supposed to be underlined; that was my word processing program scolding me for typing in weird-ass nonsense words.

And I won't say "it's easy" because that would be a lie!

Any thoughts about weight loss blogs or any you'd like to put in a plug for? I'd love to hear about more of them!

Exercise? Why Bother? (a rant)

2009-07-07T00:09:00.003-04:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

I acknowledge that journalists need to make a living as much as anyone else. I just wish they could do it without messing with people's heads.

Case in point, an article, by Jacqueline Stenson, on MSNBC.¹

The article can be summed up thusly:

- Exercising doesn’t increase your metabolic rate after you stop exercising

- Exercising doesn’t help you lose weight or keep it off

- Just give up and order an extra large pizza tonight²

Seriously, this is one depressing article.

I acknowledge that the author needed to make what she wrote seem interesting and “different.” Knocking exercise certainly qualifies as different. I realize that she wanted to be controversial, and that for most journalists, and a lot of other people, it’s better to be provocative than intelligent. (It doesn’t matter what you say, so long as it gets people to listen to you.) Even so, this article pisses me off.

It's not balanced. The general impression is bad.

The article states flatly that:

- Scientists can't prove exercise increases the metabolism (the inference being that therefore there's not much point to it)

- The calorie-burning difference between fat and muscle is negligible, so don't expect much from lifting weights.

Oh, as a grudging end note, she mentions one woman who says exercising makes her feel better -- as if that wasn't about the best damn form of motivation that there is.

It's as bad as the column that Gina Kolata wrote in the New York Times.³ [You might need to register to read this.]

Kolata agrees that exercise isn't going to do a thing to help you lose weight. You're doomed because the more you exercise, the more you eat.

Then, if you're still reading by this point, presuming you haven't decided to give up on even reading about exercise since after all there's no point to it, she adds that the scientists have not been able to prove that exercise isn't helpful either. (Because people who exercise tend to do other healthy things like not smoking cigarettes or running with scissors.)

Argh!

Never mind all the studies that show and show and show that exercise whups diabetes' flabby ass, kicks fatty liver out the door, and oh yeah, can put you in a better mood. Stenson wants to focus on the thought that exercise doesn't burn as much fat as scientists had thought, and Kolata wants you to focus on the fact it probably won't help you lose weight. If these articles had been written by a doctor or other health care professional, they would've conscientiously added "but do it anyway; it helps in other ways." Not these women.

I grant you that exercise won't burn fat, unless it's strenuous exercise. To quote the illustrious Dr. Merkin, "A study from Oslo, Norway shows that you have to exercise at almost 50 percent of your maximum capacity to increase your metabolism." But who the Frapp⁴ cares? Even if you're giving less than 50% of your maximum capacity, even if you're not losing weight, you're still getting fit, keeping healthy and whupping the ass of nasty diseases. Beats the hell out of sitting on the couch chowing down on a 'za and waiting for the end of the world.

Okay. I'm done now. It's safe to come out.

Seems only fair to ask if there are any studies (or, ahem, blogs) that really make you want to rant.

Note: The illustrious Charlotte of The Great Fitness Experiment has a more favorable opinion of Gina Kolata's viewpoint, which is shown in her review of Gina Kolata's book Rethinking Thin: The New Science of Weight Loss -- and the Myths and Realities of Dieting.

¹From May -- yes, I do read slowly sometimes.
²Okay, that was the inference that I drew from reading this article. Your mileage may vary.
³Way back in January '08. Sometimes I read realllllly slowly.
⁴Personally, I think the word frappuccino makes an excellent swear word.

Crabby Goes to Boot Camp?

2009-07-06T06:00:00.002-04:00

Long-time Cranky Fitness readers (all 3 of you; hi there!) may wonder if they've somehow been sucked through a wormhole and transported to an alternate, upside-down universe. Because for the second time in less than a week, the stubborn Crab is trying something new! First it was Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred and now...

Boot Camp??!!!

I'm shocked myself about this latest development. Here is how I always pictured Boot Camp:

Photo: muscl_mc

And I did not envision myself ever having to endure this experience! Unless maybe I was forced to at gunpoint. But since there are very few gun-toting thugs roaming around my neighborhood forcing people to go to exercise classes, I felt pretty safe assuming Boot Camp was something I never had to worry about.

But I was wrong! (Not about the roaming gun-toting exercise thugs. Still haven't seen 'em around).

So, what curious set of circumstances conspired to drag my cranky ass down to a local Boot Camp class this last Saturday morning? And what did I think of it? And does this story have a moral, or a happy ending, or a humiliating conclusion, or is it just going to be one long continuous bout of whining and silly digressions?

(And the answers are: yes, yes, no, yes!)

5 Good Reasons I Thought I Would Never Go to Boot Camp:

1. The name "Boot Camp" itself freaks me out. It invokes a military training experience specially designed to break down recruits, both physically and mentally, rendering them exhausted, humiliated, obedient and pliable. Boot camp is supposed to be awful--that's the point! And how do I know this? Um, well, I go to the movies!

(Apparently they don't let women wear bras there either).

2. I've already paid for a gym membership this summer. To pay for an exercise class in addition to a gym membership when they offer classes at the gym? Unthinkable! So what if the classes are the wrong kind and are offered at inconvenient times and I have yet to go to one--it's the principle of the thing. I ALREADY PAID!

3. There is no Music in Bootcamp. (At least not this one).

4. Unlike Jillian Michaels who is imprisoned inside the tv and doesn't even know I'm watching her, a Bootcamp instructor is an actual live person who can see me. This means I can not totally blow off the instructions and do something completely different unless I want to look like a total assh@le.

5. Exercise that is grueling or unpleasant violates my religion, Crankyism, and Boot Camp sounded like a surefire recipe for Sin.

Why I Went Anyway:

1. It's offered a block from my house.

2. The Lobster wanted to do it and we have friends in the class.

3. I have been having trouble motivating to go to the gym lately.

4. Like, really, a LOT of trouble. I'd rather go for a colonoscopy.

5. I mean, seriously, it's like I HATE HATE HATE the gym all of a sudden. WTF is up with that, anyway?

And so here's a list I never thought in a million years I'd be making:

What I Loved About My First Bootcamp Class!

1. The Instructor was motivating and fun without being excessively perky.

2. The class drew a range of ages and ability levels but no one was really hard-core superfit. And we were encouraged to customize the intensity of the exercises, so everyone got a good workout but no one got their butts totally kicked.

3. Everyone was really nice, plus they all whined and complained companionably about anything that was the least bit difficult, just like I do. Paradoxically, this made me weirdly motivated to work out harder!

4. It was a nice mix of functional exercises which, when done intensely enough, I think counted for HIIT. Or at least they counted for SHIIT.

5. And I didn't have to think! It's been a long time since I've taken a class, and I'd forgotten how freeing it is to have someone else order your ass around for a while.

In summary: boot camp unexpectedly ROCKED! I believe I will be back!

And the moral of the story is: sometimes the Gun Toting Thugs take way too long to show up at your door! (Or something like that).

Any one else out there have a good boot camp experience? Tempted to try it? Or No Way In Hell?

Random Friday: Holiday Hodgepodge

2009-07-03T06:28:00.000-04:00

Photo: djwhelan

So I'm not going to even try to put these random items together in any sort of theme. It's the start of a holiday weekend and my brain is already long gone, perhaps snoozing on an imaginary beach, or dancing to imaginary music, or snarfing up imaginary cheeseburgers and ice cream...

But who needs a brain? Even without one I can still string a few unrelated paragraphs together!

So stay tuned for some new weird health and weight loss news, an awesome stealthy commando grassroots movement that you may want to join, more of the usual random silliness, and a Dramatic Personal Announcement!***

Oh and specially for the holiday weekend: now with 60% more Exclamation Points!

Help Others Feel Beautiful!

Have you already heard of Operation Beautiful, the campaign to leave sneaky messages around town to boost body image and defeat the nefarious advertisers trying to exploit our insecurities?

I'd heard of it too, but was too chicken to leave messages like:

But you know who is not the least bit chicken about anything?

That's right, Mizfit!

Go check out her blog post (if you haven't already) about her Operation Beautiful Adventures and you may find yourself inspired to join in too.

(Note: I saw an earlier post on this by one of our readers, and I meant to go back and link to it but I forgot where I saw it! Sorry! So if any of you also have blog posts about Operation Beautiful, remind me in the comments and I'll re-edit to include a link to your blog post here.)

Or, Congratulate Yourself!

Apparently Americans are blowing off health advice, and doing worse than ever before when it comes to exercising, eating vegetables, and trying to keep their BMI in healthy ranges. And guess what? "Individuals with a history of hypertension/diabetes/cardiovascular disease were no more likely to be adherent to a healthy lifestyle than people without these conditions."

That seems sort of, well, dumb.

And is it a coincidence that a new report says obesity rates are higher than ever?

So it's bad news of course, especially given how much of our national resources go to medical costs. On the other hand, psychologically, it's a reminder that healthy living is a CHALLENGE! And most people don't even seem to be trying. So for those of you who are making an effort every day to be healthy, no matter what your current weight or state of fitness? Congratulations, you're even more of a freak than you thought!

Weight Loss Weapons:

First, a weird one: a recent study on mice reported over at Booster Shots found that acetic acid, the main ingredient of vinegar, reduced body fat gain. Other studies have indicated it might help with blood pressure, blood sugar levels and fat accumulation. Crabby cautions, however: do not read this and then run out and start drinking quarts of vinegar, ok? I do not want to hear about a Peck of Pickled People showing up at the doctor's office with weird stomach complaints.

Quick Quiz: And Diane at Fit to the Finish pointed me to this helpful quiz to get some perspective on portion sizes. What, you mean a bagel the size of your head actually has a lot of calories? Surprise!

But Don't Despair Over a Few Extra Pounds!

Yes, obesity is a health risk. But yet another study recently reinforced what we reported here before at Cranky Fitness about extra weight and longevity. Overweight people live longer! As long as you are not obese.

It's funny how rarely these sort of statistics gets reported. (And granted, there are other measures of health besides longevity). But whenever these studies come out they get pretty much ignored, because it just doesn't fit with the "thin is always healthier" narrative we have going in our culture.

Win an iPod Shuffle!

Yep, this is me slipping in my weekly plug for The Juice again, because not only is there cool stuff over there, but they are the Official Sponsor of these next few paragraphs!

Hi there, Juice!

Anyway, there's a video interview with Deb of Weight of Deb, full of great motivational tips for healthy eating. Plus, I've collected some sneaky tips from other smart bloggers for staying on track, and Laura at Org Junkie discusses the wonders of Green Smoothies. Got any healthy eating tips? We'd love to hear them!

Oh, and the iPod Shuffle and "Getting to 50/50" giveaway is still going on. Just sayin'-- the odds are still really good and I would love to see a Cranky Fitness reader walk off with the prize.

For All You Parents:

Er, or maybe us non-parents might appreciate this even more. Let's Panic is a funny new parenting website. Their approach to raising children is very similar to the enthusiastic approach Cranky Fitness takes to vigorous exercise and proper nutrition!

Photo: Let's Panic

Let's just say that, like Cranky Fitness, perhaps it's not for everyone.

So What's Up With All the Dead Celebrities Lately?

Seriously, they're piling up at an alarming rate: Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Carl Malden, the Infomercial Guy... is it just me, or is it escalating? Conspiracy theories, whether semi-serious or totally wacky, would be appreciated.

Graph: by Graphjam

Cat Video:

Why? Just because, that's why!

Video from: CollegeHumor.

And Now, For The Dramatic*** Personal Announcement!

So I suspect I'm going to have to go to McSlacker Re-Education Camp, because I seem to have accidentally acquired a couple of jobs this summer. One of which is not even the convenient virtual kind, but is instead the old-fashioned real kind. I'm required to, get this: show up in an actual physical location (the local library) at specified hours. Yikes!

So over the next couple of months, you may notice some possible service interruptions at Cranky Fitness on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Do not adjust your monitors; trained technicians are standing by. But be prepared for the possibility of:

Exceptionally Lame Posts;
Short Posts;
Missing Posts;
Failure to Leave Comments on Other Blogs Very Often, No Matter How Awesome They Are;
General Half-Assedness; and
Radioactivity.

Oh wait... I've just been informed by our chief engineer that we will not be radioactive! Hooray!

Anyway, if you can hang in there for a couple months, all should be back to normal before too long. (And thank goodness for Merry Sunshine, who somehow writes great posts while holding down an actual Adult Full Time Job!)

***Dramatic? You call that Dramatic?
Yeah, I know--not so much. But this is McSlackerland! Were you thinking maybe I was just appointed to a Cabinet post, or adopted triplets, or was selected to go on the space shuttle, or was just indicted on felony charges in a ponzi scheme? All that would take too much effort! But if President Obama does call me and needs a Secretary of Whining and Crankiness, I shall be sure to let you know.

Got any holiday plans? Any thoughts on Operation Beautiful, dead celebrities, vegetable-shunning Americans, or anything at all? And have a great weekend!
---Crabby

How I Fixed a Depressing Workout

2009-07-02T00:04:00.001-04:00

Can't go on ...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/wadecouch/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

Yes, I know exercise is supposed to help fight depression. It doesn’t always. At least, not when I do it. This is one of those weird psychological things that I'm noting here in the hope someone else can make sense of it.

Lately I've been commuting by bicycle. I've been taking the straightest shortest bicycle route home. In theory, it seemed an ideal route: not too much traffic and a straight ride in. In practice, it was a mind-numbingly, bum-numbingly, hell-on-earth ride. I used to get reeeeally depressed just contemplating the ride home.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymaclean/ / CC BY 2.0

Merry’s recipe for a depressing workout

Ingredients:

- Take one Long Straight Road
- Add in one out-of-shape cyclist
- Throw in the mournful sound of the wind keening through the telephone wires
- Broil for one hour under a relentless overhead sun

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jespr/ / CC BY 2.0

Serves… well, serves me right, I suppose.

I tried jazzing it up with sprints or timing different sections to see if I could improve my time, but no matter what I tried, I arrived home tired, dispirited, and dreading the next day's ride.

I thought maybe I found this ride hard because I was so out of shape. Seemed a valid reason, what with developing asthma and not having done much riding for the past year. I figured that the cycling-dread phenomenon would go away as I got back into the habit.

Then one day, I had to run an errand, which meant I had to take the high road home. Literally. Instead of a few little hills, I went up three moderately sized and quite long hills, then flat along a busy road with lots of cars. It was a longer route as well as a hillier one. And I enjoyed myself a whole lot more. It’s amazing how much easier the ride was, even though the route was actually a mile or so longer.

Yeah, Merry, thrilling as this chronicle your daily life is, what’s the point?

Seems to me that what was killing me on these rides was the LSR syndrome, i.e. the Long, Straight Road.

It's a long way... to anywhere...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sheilascarborough/ / CC BY 2.0

My Big Fat Greek Analogy

Always, I have a tendency to overthink my exercise routine. They say it’s good to visualize doing the exercise before you actually move the muscles. Not in my case. I’ve been known to visualize an entire exercise routine, but only as a Bad Thing. Just the idea of a workout can appear as a huge rock that I have to lift up a hill, only to watch it roll down once I get it to the top.

Mind you, it does help develop the muscles...

I tend to picture every possible thing that can go wrong, up to suddenly having a heart attack in the middle of a cardio routine. I can really depress myself by Looking Ahead. (Why I don’t ever use this talent to visualize myself as thin and fit and happy is another question.)

Taking the high road home made it much harder to look ahead. I went along a route that curved up and down and around, going past shopping malls and apartment complexes, shopping malls and parks, shopping malls and empty fields. And then a few more shopping malls. (The Portland suburbs apparently have a great need for lots of shopping malls.)

Even with the traffic and shoppers and whatnot, two things remained constant: there was always something different to look at and I never had to face a long straight vista ahead of me. For some reason that made a huge difference. (Note to self: never try to bicycle in the Midwest. I suppose this means I’ll never make it to RAGBRAI.)

I'm noting this here because hopefully someone who hates their exercise routine will try a different one instead of giving up on exercise itself. Okay, honestly, I’m noting it here also so that there’s a slight chance that I might remember this phenomenon the next time I run into an exercise routine that makes me feel depressed.

Have you ever found that making a small change makes a big difference? If so, why?

In Which Crabby Takes Her Readers Advice And Checks Out Jillian Michaels

2009-07-01T06:30:00.001-04:00

Regular followers of Cranky Fitness may have noticed that I don't always practice what I preach.

(Which is kind of pathetic, actually, given that what I preach is already so mellow and slacky compared to most serious health and fitness blogs).

What is the Most Important Exercise Principle I think you should all follow that I rarely do myself?

That you should mix up your routine every now and then, and try new things!

Of course I've blogged about my reluctance to do this before, and will probably blog about it again and again unless I manage to get a personality transplant and change my name Perky McSmirky or something.

But I'm constantly reading about some exercise thing that sounds promising on someone else's blog, and I think, oh I should definitely try that! And then some minor obstacle or just plain laziness intervenes and I end up not following through.

On the rare occasions when I do add something new to my repertoire? It really does help with motivation! A brand new thing to totally suck at also means a brand new thing to get slightly better at the next time, which is oddly encouraging.

So anyway, a few weeks ago I was wondering about exercise DVD's as an alternative to the gym and... boy howdy did I get a lot of great reader suggestions! For those who are looking for a "reader's choice" compilation of DVD's, definitely check out the comments to the Exercise DVD post.

Or, if you want to just hang here without going back in time, I'll pass along the short list of Reader Favorites, as well as my find out my Shocking Discovery about Jillian Michael's 30 day shred DVD.

There were lots of cool suggestions, both for exercise DVD's and for other non-gym alternatives. But some names kept coming up over and over!

And The Cranky Fitnesss Readers Choice DVD winners were:

(in no particular order):

P90X;
Jillian's 30 Day Shred;
Zumba DVD's;
Cathe Friedrich;
Biggest Loser DVD's;
Gilad;
Tae-bo; and
Turbo Jam.

So With So Many Promising Suggestions, Did I Run Out and Try A Bunch of Them?

Of course not! I kept meaning to. I've got Netflix, and Comcast, and a library, and I knew at least one or two of these titles was probably available for free... but... the right day never seemed to arrive.

Until finally it did! Sort of. I was gonna go for a run but it was pouring outside. I'd just gone to the gym the day before and done my cardio and all my weights. I really just wanted to do some cardio with a few intervals mixed in, so I thought I'd finally see what Comcast had to offer for free on the In Demand channel.

And they had Day 1 of Jillian Michael's 30 day shred! Which sounded really familiar from the great list you all supplied.

[Note: in a bizarre coincidence, I just discovered that Sagan at Living Healthy in the Real World has a post about the same thing! It may have even been the same day... she was gonna go for a run, got rained out, and ended up doing the 30 Day Shred too! But obviously her post is much more inspirational.]

BTW: Jillian, Love Her or Hate Her?

Now I am one of the few people in the fitness blogging world who doesn't really keep tabs on the whole Biggest Loser thing so I don't know all that much about Jillian Michaels. I have to confess I don't much like the premise of the show (and check out Merry's Biggest Loser post for some actual articulate objections), plus I'm not a big fan of reality TV generally.

And in my brief accidental glimpses of the show? It was scary! I didn't like watching Jillian berating and hounding a bunch of poor sweaty obese people who looked like they were just about to burst into tears, or barf, or die of cardiac arrest right on the set.

And so I thought: why the heck does she have to be so mean? Why make exercise even more painful and miserable than it already is? They're trying, for goodness sake. Is there some sort of nationwide shortage of Slack, preventing you from cutting them any at all? So I thought perhaps I didn't like this Jillian person all that much.

But then I heard her on her radio show once sounding kinda fun and charming and not-mean... and a lot of people whose judgment I trust totally like her. So I was a little confused on the whole Jillian question. (And I'd be curious to hear what you all think). Anyway, about trying her video...

First Rule of DVD Watching: Pick One That Has Some Relation to Your Exercise Goals.

If you want to do Yoga, don't roll out your mat and put on a Kickboxing DVD. Duh.

Likewise, if you want to do intervals with no strength training, it's probably best choose a video that has you doing intervals with no strength training.

But I wanted to check out the 30 Day Shred and I wanted to start at the beginning!

The Second Rule of DVD Watching: You Can Actually Do Whatever the Hell You Want, They Can't See You.

So I'm sure this video is great for its intended purpose, but I had to skip all the strengthening stuff. This is because I've read a million times the rule that you're not supposed to strength train the same muscles two days in a row, and I had just lifted a bunch of big-ass weights the day before at the gym. (Big-ass for me, that is). In my mind, this "no back-to-back strength training" rule is sort of like a biblical injunction. (Maybe not quite in the same league as Thou Shall Not Kill but certainly higher than whatever that graven images one is. I've been known to worship images of Cupcakes so I'm sure I've already blown that one many times over).

Anyway, even though Jillian and her pals were using teeny little weights, I felt completely absolved of any portion of the video that called for strength training. Because it's a Rule, damn it!

So I did my intervals (burpees were my chosen instrument of torture) while the girls were doing their weights, then I sort of followed along for bits and pieces of the regular cardio when I wasn't gasping for breath and wanting to die from the burpees. In other words, I didn't really do Day One of the Thirty Day Shred, I just let it keep me company.

Now Here's The Thing I Found Shocking:

Jillian is really fun to work out to! You don't actually have to do what she's doing, you can just let her chit-chat away and provide inspiration as you do whatever the heck is on your agenda for the day.

It's probably better if you actually follow the program, but Jillian didn't seem to mind that I was doing Burpees--in fact, she seemed to know exactly what I was doing and she even hated the Burpees right along with me! She provided a little bit of tough love every now and then, but it wasn't the Scary Tough Love she does with the Losers, it was more a flirty kind of tough love that was pretty darn motivating.

OK, it is possible I have a slight crush.

And there is also a possibility that I might actually check out the next one, and even try to actually do the thing for real!

This is obviously not an Exercise Video Review

Unless you're allowed to do one without actually doing the exercise video. The moral of the story is something like: Mixing it Up, even in a Half-Assed way, is a Good Thing and can lead to Interesting Discoveries!

So does anyone else struggle to add new forms of exercise to your routine? Any thoughts about Jillian or exercise DVD's?

Ask Cranky Fitness: Weight Loss Issues

2009-06-30T00:07:00.005-04:00

This is a lopsided Ask Cranky Fitness. Ms. Crabby is off buying garlic to scare off all her overly friendly mosquitoes. (Garlic provides a lot of healthy nutrients, plus it's also good at keeping away sparkly vampires, which can't hurt.) So if you disagree with any of the answers, direct your beef towards me, Merry.

Another anomaly is that one of these questions was actually sent in by a real reader! See if you can spot which one.

Dear Cranky Fitness,

I’m not a competitive person. I like to encourage and support my friends in their weight-loss endeavors. But I’ve got an etiquette dilemma, and maybe you can help.

Last week I ate right, slept well, and worked out more than Madonna – only to have the scale tell me I’d gained a pound. During the same week, a ~~fiendishly cunning evil nemesis~~ pal did no exercise at all, merely cut out wheat from her diet and ate chocolate and potato chips instead. By the end of the week, she’d lost five pounds. My question is: would it be overkill to hire a hit man to take her out? If so, I’ll exercise restraint and merely egg her house. Please advise.

signed, Jealous in Jersey

Dear JJ,

Eggs?

Bad idea. Eggs do not contain wheat. If you really want to be mean, forget the hit man and bring on the pizza delivery man. Or go on at great length about the great new pasta place that you just found. Or... you get the idea. Of course, you could just grit your teeth and congratulate her. One of these days it's going to be your turn -- do you really want to spend an afternoon trying to scrape egg residue off your house?

- Merry

Dear Cranky Fitness,

My bff and I go to a weight loss meeting each week. It’s supposed to help me stay accountable to get weighed in public and listen to people talk about their weight loss efforts. The problem is, I don’t care about anyone else’s weight loss problems; I have enough of my own. I don’t want to alienate my friend – how can I get out of this meeting without hurting her feelings?

- signed, Selfish Friend in SF

Dear SF,

I suppose this is going to sound movie-of-the-week trite, but if she's your friend, can't you talk to her? Work it up tactfully, like "Y'know, instead of going to the meeting, let's go to the gym and work out. Lots of hot sweaty guys in the gym on Monday nights."

On the other hand, maybe going to these meetings will make you a better person. Or a better friend. If they're really helpful to your friend, you might want to keep going for awhile, see if things get better. Or buy ear plugs and spend the hour fantasizing about all the guys in the gym.

- Merry

Dear Cranky Fitness,

This is a question I often get and I find it both compelling, annoying and completely frustrating as I cannot find an answer that satisfies me: How do you not realize your pants are getting tighter, see that you've gained weight on the scale, or notice that you're expanding to the size of a blimp and not just STOP right then and there? How can you put on 20, 50, 100+ pounds without first acknowledging and handling the situation?

As someone who went from a healthy weight to morbidly obese in the span of a couple years - I feel I should have a brilliant answer. i don't.

- Annabel
www.feedmeimcranky.com

Great question, Annabel!

Weight gain acts on your body like a recession on your savings account. If you sit still, inflation's going to catch up to you. Treat your body like a house with a bad mortgage and the 'balloon loan' effect will land you in an unhealthy situation. But until fatty liver or diabetes or such shows up with foreclosure papers, it's easy to ignore reality.

After the first 20, your subconscious kicks in. The average subconscious never wants to face an issue like weight gain, so the natural impulse is to distract the conscious mind with a Bright Shiny Thought or provide anodynes to dull the awareness.

If you don't like your shape, there's a tendency to wear baggy clothes anyway. Harder to face the unpalatable truth if you can find "comfortable" pants that have elastic or a drawstring rather than an unforgiving waistband that gets too tight to be comfortable. A tight waistband is a sign for the subconscious to get to work explaining the problem away.

Common rationalizations sent up from a subconscious can include:

- These pants must have shrunk in the wash.
- Must be that time of the month. (Harder to believe this if the subconscious is male or in the body of a menopausal woman, but hey, a sneaky subconscious will try anything.)
- It's not me, it's the jeans.Clothing manufacturers always mess with size labels.
- I've got too much to deal with right now. I deserve some pizza and television. I'll worry about these pants later. (Notice how the subconscious neatly blames the problem on the pants instead of the body?)

So if you've suffered from the 'balloon loan' effect, it's a sign that you have a Annoyingly Smug Subconscious. Best antidotes for an ASS dilemma are:

- Trying on swimsuits. Fluorescent lighting is a cruel but effective reality check.
- Going to a high school reunion. When you see what time and gravity have done to Suzy Cheerleader or Randy Studlington, it's harder to avoid your own reflection.
- Family reunions. Someone invariably insists on taking your photo at these things. Then they distribute the pics to everyone in the family. The odds of having a family composed 100% of people 'too polite to tell you you've gained weight' are ... well, fairly astronomical.

- Merry

Do you have any better ways to deal with sneaky weight gain, or people who attend weight loss meetings, or for that matter people who manage to lose tons of weight while eating chocolate and potato chips?

Happy Annivesary, #@%& Mosquitoes!

2009-06-29T06:38:00.001-04:00

Image from: wackystuff

Has it really been only a year since I wrote my last whiny post about mosquitoes?

It seems like just a few short months ago that I posted about how dumb I am about letting myself get bit all the time because I hate bug spray, and how I was trying to find alternatives to DEET because of possible risks like skin irritation and "diffuse brain cell death." Fortunately, there were some that were supposed to be particularly effective, but did I get around to trying them? Err...

Anyway, it seems it's time again for another mosquito post! For one, even if you read it last year, you might have thought "hmm, must look into these DEET alternatives," then totally forgot to do it. Or in my case, you could have gone to the local drugstore, discovered they didn't carry them, made a note to order some online... then totally forgot about it. Anyway, I can remind you what those alternatives are if you're interested.

But another reason for a new mosquito post is I just read some research confirming what many have suspected: some people are indeed mosquito magnets!

Yep, if it seems to you like you're getting bit a lot more than your friends? It may not be your imagination. Due to body chemistry, certain people are just much more appealing to the bloodsucking little pests.

Are You A Mosquito Magnet?

So the mosquito magnet article is over at WebMd. Here are some highlights:

Genetics are about 85% responsible for our attractiveness to mosquitoes.

High concentrations of steroids or cholesterol on the skin attracts mosquitoes. But it doesn't necessarily correlate with people's cholesterol levels; some folks may be better at processing cholesterol and so the byproducts end up on the skin's surface.

Mosquitoes like people who produce excess amounts of certain acids, such as uric acid.

Mosquitoes love carbon dioxide, and can smell it from up to 50 meters away. And pregnant women and people who are larger than average give off more carbon dioxide.

Also, people who are active and moving around give off more carbon dioxide. (The article then suggests you choose a lounge chair rather than a volleyball game if you're worried about mosquitoes at an outdoor gathering.)

However, on that last point, I say hell no. For one, if you're gonna be out for hours and hours in a location where there are mosquitoes? Just face facts, you're screwed! Bring some repellent. (More on that below). Also, from personal experience, I've discovered that when I'm running, mosquitoes are much less likely to land on me than when I'm walking or sitting, even if theoretically I'm giving off more carbon dioxide and smelling much tastier. Perhaps I'm just living amongst unusually lazy mosquitoes who are too slothful to chase me? Anyway, I wouldn't suggest the "sit on your ass" strategy for mosquito prevention, unless perhaps you're really just in the mood to sit on your ass anyway and would like a good excuse.

Why a DEET Alternative?

DEET is pretty darn effective, but as I said, there was some pesky DEET research that suggested the potential for brain cell death--that is, if you use a LOT of it and if you are a RAT. Most mainstream medical sources don't seem too concerned about the safety aspects with occasional use, and talk more about minor side effects like numbness or irritation, or about the fact that DEET in high concentrations will melt plastic. (Which is indeed a pain if you're camping and get it all over your gear).

If you are looking for non-DEET alternatives, there are two that seem to be most recommended: one is Picaridin, which doesn't have the stinky smell that DEET does and won't melt your gear. You can find it in Cutter Advanced. And a compilation of the picaridin effectiveness research and reviews seems to suggest it's pretty effective.

The other is a natural product, and is supposed to be very effective as well: it's oil of lemon eucalyptus, and is found in the brand "Repel."

Backyard Battles:

Speaking of "mosquito magnets," we were so freaked out by having mosquitoes in our back yard that we broke down and bought one of these thingies.

They're pricey, ugly, and a pain in the ass because you keep having to replenish the propane and do other maintenancy things. But they put out carbon dioxide and attract the mosquitoes and really do seem to have helped reduce the mosquito population in our yard. But not, alas, to zero, the only truly acceptable number for resident mosquitoes as far as I'm concerned.

(The most hilarious thing about these mosquito traps? The model names! Would you like the "Liberty?" Or the "Independence?" Or perhaps the "Executive?" The Executive excels at catching the cleverest, most devious, top-level CEO type mosquitoes. Or something.)

Anyway, does anyone else hate mosquitoes? Any tips on keeping them away?

Carrot-Raisin Salad and Other Atrocities

2009-06-26T06:15:00.002-04:00

Photo: lasuprema

If you are like most people, you frequently combine different foods together in one meal. You don't generally, for example, have just have a big plate of spinach for dinner. Or eat a platter of lamb chops and nothing else.

In fact, if you are clever and industrious, you may even chop up numerous ingredients using a "recipe" and then combine them all into a single dish! This is called cooking.

Yet so often, we read nutritional studies that tell us all about how a particular food is good or bad for us as though we ate it in isolation. As it turns out, nutrition is a lot more complicated than that.

Some nutrients work synergistically, so you get way more nutritional bang for your buck from combining them. Olive oil and tomatoes? Peanut butter and whole wheat bread? Berries and green tea? These friendly foods get along really well and they accomplish way more working together than when they're all by themselves.

On the other hand, other foods don't get along at all, and act antagonistically. They behave just like Crabby when she's PMS and hasn't yet had her morning coffee. One food tries to offer up a nutritional benefit but the other food says, "screw that, I'm gonna interfere with it just because I can!" I think green tea and milk may be one of those combos, though the evidence goes back and forth on that. (And sometimes foods are so grumpy they even fight with themselves. Like, for example, the oxalic acid in spinach keeps you from absorbing calcium... which is one of the nutrients you get from spinach!)

So there's a great post over at Arena Fitness about food synergy, and I thought, well, wouldn't it be nice to ~~copy their post and be done for the day~~ do a round up of nutritional food synergies and antagonisms so that people can know what they should or shouldn't be eating together?

But then when I looked into it further, it all got terribly arcane and tedious. And a lot of foods just end up complimenting themselves, (I hate it when foods get so narcissistic like that) like apple skins and apples, so the message you end up with is "don't peel stuff," which you already knew anyway.

Plus, I ended up realizing that it's hard enough to eat a healthy balanced diet with a variety of different whole foods. If I have to start obsessing about whether I should have my spaghetti marinara with spinach or broccoli for optimal results... I might get so fed up that I'd figure, the hell with it, I'll have a cheeseburger, fries and a Coke! Which is a much simpler meal because there's no guessing; you know it's gonna be bad for you.

However, for those of you who are better able to handle nutritional complexity and would to know more about the topic, the food synergy post has some highlights and also some helpful additional links (like this one at Web Md and this one at Bliss Tree.)

Instead, I decided want to address a whole different issue related to combining foods: Food-Flavor Contextual Anomalies.

Sound scholarly? It's actually a fancy-pants term I just made up to describe a perplexing phenomenon:

There are certain foods I only like sometimes. In the wrong combinations, I can't eat them. And because these defy logic, I wanted to see if any of you have similar weird aversions. Like:

I hate olives, green or black. Yet I love extra virgin olive oil, the more flavorful the better.

I love a sprinkle of walnuts on a hot fudge sundae, or in a salad. But should walnut chunks dare to appear in a brownie or in a banana muffin I will spit them out into a napkin when no one is looking.

Coconut in Thai food? Yumm! Coconut candy? Eww.

Carrots, raisins, mayonaise? I like all three of these! But combine them in a carrot-raisin salad? Barfarooni.

Celery and... oh wait a second. I hate celery whenever and where ever it appears, even if there is peanut butter involved. That's how much I hate celery.

Tomatoes, tomato sauce, salsa, bruscetta... Love me some luscious tomatoes! But tomato soup or tomato juice? Bleechhhh.

Anyone else? Do some foods transform from loathsome to lovely depending on the company they keep?

--Crabby

Over At The Juice

2009-06-26T06:13:00.002-04:00

The Juice

So as I mentioned last week, I'm doing some sponsored blogging over on the Blogher site for a group called The Juice. As part of the deal, I'll be reporting in about once a week on the goings-on over there.

And here's some secret inside info: (she said, lowering her voice...) they have giveaways over there which no one seems to know about yet! For instance, the current Juice Giveaway is an iPod shuffle and a book on work/life balance called "Getting to 50/50: How Working Couples Can Have it All by Sharing it All." And you know what? Hardly anyone has entered yet!

I'm hoping that clever Cranky Fitness readers will take advantage of the awesome odds and pop over and maybe win something while the winning's good. (Though I think you have to either be a Blogher member already or be willing to register on the site. It's free and they don't pester you with emails or anything.)

And there are of course a bunch of cool videos there too. This week there's one on taking Mini-Mental vacations (and Crabby's take is here).

Also, I have to say, the "Getting to 50/50" book raises quite a few Cranky Questions in my mind! What the heck is the deal with lopsided way so many heterosexual working couples seem to split domestic responsibilities? I'll be posting about that over the weekend, if anyone would like to share their thoughts on that I'd love to hear 'em. Hope to see you there!

--Crabby

Segregate fat people: a good idea?

2009-06-25T00:04:00.002-04:00

Does size matter? Should it?

It's hard to keep up with tall people, I can vouch for that.

Photo courtesy of foxtongue

Usually, when I see the word "segregation," I think the phrase "not a good thing." But is that always true?

The New York Times wrote an article on yoga classes designated specifically for larger-sized people. Apparently yoga instructors who teach regular yoga classes do not know how to teach yoga to larger people. (For example, some obese people can't manage all of the typical yoga positions, but they still want to do yoga.) The idea of segregating classes by size seems to be catching on.

I haven't encountered these sort of classes myself, so I wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not. Belly dance classes have people of varying sizes and nobody seems to care. On the other hand, there is gender segregation at work in belly dance: they're very much female oriented, though there's no reason that a man couldn't do these exercises.

Does it help to segregate?

Back in ye olde darke ages, private schools, especially colleges, used to be for male or female students only. Some schools are bringing this trend back, claiming that female students tend not to speak up in classes that are mixed.

I saw this myself during a women's self-defense class. So long as they were only speaking to other women, all my classmates were able to act out scenarios where they had to practice breaking someone's hold on them, or knowing when to be firm and say "no!" During the last class, the teacher brought in some big intimidating men for us to practice with, and suddenly half the women in class were hanging back. They were shy.

Excuse me, could you introduce yourself before doing that?
Photo credit: KyleMac

Can you apply the same idea to exercise classes?

Would you feel less shy about working out if everyone around you were the same sex or size? Except for workouts designed for pregnant women, I can't think of a biological reason why workouts should be separated by gender. I can think of a lot of psychological reasons for gender or size segregation:

- Some women worry about looking "unfeminine" around men, i.e. getting all flushed and sweaty.

- A lot of men don't like to look weak and wimpy around women. Personally, every time I pass a male cyclist, he makes a point of passing me again, even if he practically has to burst a blood vessel to do it. (Hint: it's easier to pass someone going downhill rather than up. Wait a few minutes and you won't have to work so hard.)

- If everyone else were the same size (or gender), perhaps people would feel accepted and be willing to work out hard.

I know "in theory" it shouldn't matter what other people think of your exercising, but it does.

Example: at lunch time, I have a choice of two green areas where I can walk. One is a sports center with walking trails around the soccer fields and tennis courts. You'd think that would be a good place to walk or jog, even if you're a larger than usual size. But the only people exercising are all small children. The adults sit on the sidelines and stare at you as you walk by. Frankly, they don't look in very good shape themselves (the adults, I mean), but apparently it never occurs to them that grown ups need to move the body too.

The other choice for lunch-time walks is the headquarters of a company that sells sports equipment. Even larger-sized people can walk the trails around their campus without receiving a single smirk or stare. Everyone is on their lunch break exercising, so you're met with a polite nod or a smile from passers by. All the difference in the world from the sports center.

If classes and gyms are like the first example, then definitely segregate.

Another problem is pacing.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

If I'm next to a thin, lithe size 0 who's kicking my butt fitness-wise, I'd feel intimidated. If I'm next to someone who's my size and they're kicking my butt, then I think "hell, I can be that fit too!" It's a whole lot easier to keep up when you're thinking like that.

I'm starting to talk myself into thinking that voluntary segregation might be a good thing in this case. Anything that helps get people out there working out is a good thing. So long as it's voluntary.

Do you think this is a crazy idea, or will it actually help people?

Lightning is Frightening!

2009-06-24T06:38:00.001-04:00

So did you know this week is National Lightening Safety Week?

It comes complete with a nifty slogan: "When Thunder Roars, Go Indoors!"

(And if that's the one they chose, you kinda wonder how bad the rejected ones were? "When Thunderclouds Threaten, It's Time to Start Frettin'!" Or: "When You Hear Thunder Boom, Don't Leave Your Room!" Or perhaps: "If You See Lightning Strike, Cancel The F@cking Hike!" )

Not only does Lightning Safety have a slogan, it even has it's own "quirky" mascot: "Leon the Lightning Lion!"

Parental Warning:

If Your Kid's Soccer Coach Looks Anything Like This?
Find Another Team. Lightning is The Least of Your Worries.

Actually, it seems the folks at the National Weather Service may have some ambivalent feelings themselves about skeezy ol' Leon. Check out the "kids game" over at the NWS lightning site: it's a little quiz, and if you guess wrong about an unsafe situation, poor Leon gets zapped by lightning and electrocuted before your very eyes!

Seriously. This is one creepy public safety campaign.

Anyway, as a San Francisco Bay Area transplant now spending summers on the East Coast, (and as a congenital worrywart), I do not need a lot of help in being scared of lightning. I'm already quite good at it.

On the west coast, lightning wasn't all that frequent. And when we did get some, it usually occurred in the middle of a winter rainstorm when I didn't want to go outside anyway. So it somehow seems weird and unfair that a perfectly warm summer day can entice you out to the beach or tempt you into a long hike, and then... Dark Clouds? Rain? Thunder? Lightning? Untimely death? WTF?

So I'm one of those people who will try to remember to check the radar before I go for long outdoor excursions, but even with some level of paranoia about it, I've still been caught outside in thunderstorms.

Was I really in any danger? What should I do if I'm outside and hear thunder? And am I safe if I'm hanging out indoors?

Well, the National Weather Service has put together some lightning safety information to answer some of my questions, but they left me feeling more paranoid than ever. (They also have a video that they advertise with inappropriately enthusiastic teaser "New 30 second video of teen struck by lightning!" Note: no teen is actually struck by lighting during the video, but it's actually pretty darn poignant. Here's the Youtube link.)

But anyway, on to the informational portion of this post. There's much more over at the NSA website.

Watch for Developing Thunderstorms. Towering cumulus clouds are often the first sign ~~that you're going to die~~ a thunderstorm may be developing.

It Doesn't Have to be Raining for You To Get Hit. Lightning can strike as far as 10 miles away from where rain is falling. Coincidentally, this about how far away you can hear thunder, which means...

If You Can Hear Thunder, You're Within Striking Distance. This totally freaks me out. If you're outside and you hear thunder, lightning can get you. Yikes!

Safe Places Are Really Hard To Find Outdoors. In the "Electrocute Leon the Lion Game," there are a bunch of examples of places you might try to seek shelter, but you (and Leon) are doomed because unless they are a large building or an enclosed vehicle you are screwed.

So all us hikey-bikey people who do not always travel everywhere in cars and could find ourselves a long way from shelter during a thunderstorm? People like us need to pay special attention to the weather!

You Can Be Zapped Indoors Too: "Stay off corded phones, computers and other electrical equipment that put you in direct contact with electricity. Stay away from pools (indoor or outdoor), tubs, showers and other plumbing."

I always wondered about this. So you could be minding your own business taking a bath and a thunderstorm comes along and... Eeek! You should also buy surge suppressors for key equipment and install ground fault protectors on circuits near water or outdoors. And "wait 30 minutes after the last clap of thunder, before going outside again." (And, um, how do you know it's the 'last clap?"

Don't Be Afraid to Help a Lightning Strike Victim: They don't carry an electrical charge, are safe to touch, and need urgent medical attention. Call 9-1-1 immediately and perform CPR if appropriate.

And be careful out there!

--- Crabby

Anyone have any tips, fears, scary stories, or other thoughts about lightning?

Primal Blueprint Giveaway Winner

2009-06-24T06:15:00.003-04:00

So the winner of the Primal Blueprint Giveaway is Katie Jane Wennechuk!

Katie, please email us by Sat, June 27th at Crabby McSlacker @ gmail dot com (some assembly required) with your mailing address and we'll have Mark or one of his busy bees send you a copy!

Thanks for your comments, everyone!

Truuuust me... it's Random Tuesday time

2009-06-23T00:32:00.003-04:00

People are getting jaded.

No, that doesn’t mean they’re turning into greenish-colored stone. Really. Nor would it be correct to refer to a person as a jade, on the off chance that the person you’re referring to thusly turns out to be an Elizabethan scholar, who slaps your face.

Scientists are churning out studies every week, and every single one contradicts all the others before it.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Okay, not every single one. Sure feels like it, though. It’s easy to get cynical. Even some scientists are getting attitudinal.

I don't want this post to be considered a rebuttal to Crabby’s post. (Not that her post was a buttal to begin with.* More a plea for common sense.) Me, I'm not in the mood for sense. It's a beautiful summer's day outside, and I hafta go to work. So I'll sum up my theory of science and research studies and what to do about them before going on to the silly cat video. It's time for... [cue dramatic music]... Random Tuesday [da da dahhhhhh]

Merry's theory du jour:

Obviously, the thing to do is to believe everything you read in Cranky Fitness. All others pay cash.

Psst… Crabby? I think we might be onto a money-maker here. I mean, we could tell the scientists, "You want me to believe your study, show me da money and I’ll say nice things about you." As opposed to the Cranky Fitness review page, which is a “show me the money and I’ll write what I really think about the product” page.

Okay, Random Tuesday Time!

I found a great way to climb hills without having to do any of that nasty exertion stuff.

It's a... well, a foot lift in Norway. You pays yer moneys and put yer foot in it and it carries you up the hill. A cyclist, for example, sits on her bicycle and puts one foot on the lift. The lift... er, lifts her and the bike up to the top of the hill. Personally, I think these things would be a great hit in San Francisco.

Look, if you thought that topic was only remotely linked to exercise and fitness, then it's time to stop reading. Because it's downhill from here...

This video is clearly linked to fitness. "Staring at the swim team gets you killed by a gang of ninja men who know how to twirl." Clearly, it's important that you be informed of such a contingency. Besides, it made me laugh.

Good Act Gone Bad: In Ohio, a man was arrested for mowing the lawn in a city park. Hey, it's not as if anyone else was doing it.

Quiz du jour: IQ test to prove whether you're "smart or stoopid." Yes, of course you can tell a person's IQ by a few random questions. Would I lie?

Strange du jour: You have to admire a man who, when trying to make friends, admits that his interests include having fun with cheese, or kites, or time machines. Wait... did I say "admire"? I think I meant to say "back away slowly from."

Kitty video du week

Hey, it's not a random post without a cat video. And this one deals with refusing to eat the food you're supposed, and pleading for the food you want instead, which is clearly related to health... and whining...

Ain't too proud to beg kitty video
Uploaded by klpprr.

On the bright side, Crabby will be back tomorrow with another great post!

__________________________________________

*Look, I doubt that's a real word to begin with, but even if it does turn out to be listed in some obscure dusty dictionary in the back of the library, I know it doesn't mean what you think it means. Shame on you.

More Studies I Plan To Ignore

2009-06-22T06:39:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I come across health studies that are perfectly legitimate... but they don't persuade me to do anything differently.

For example, there was that study that says raw broccoli is much better for you than cooked broccoli. Or another one that said room-temperature watermelon has more antioxidants in it than if it's refrigerated.

Well, I say the heck with those studies! I hate raw broccoli and like my watermelon cold and so I'm going to barely glance at the details.

However, if you are someone who likes warm watermelon or raw broccoli, these studies are not lame and ignorable, they are great discoveries! So I realize that one persons "health news" can be another person's "health snooze." (Sorry... that was really awful, wasn't it?)

So in the spirit of ~~"I can't think of anything the least bit interesting to blog about today~~" "we're all different and isn't that wonderful," here are some recent studies that for various reasons, I didn't want to know much about but you very well might!

As it turns out, there are many different reasons to blow off health studies. So I've grouped these in Crabby-centric terms: why I didn't want to look much beyond the headline.

1. Because I know I'm Not Gonna Bother:

Cooking carrots before you cut them preserves about 25% more falcarinol, an anti-cancer compound, than if you cut the carrots first and then cook them.

Well, when I cook carrots it's mostly in soups or stews. And I do not want to start cooking the damn things whole and then fishing them out all hot and drippy and messy and then cutting them up. I'll just assume that that the sneaky little falcarinol stuff is now hiding in the soup. And if you scientists happen to know that it doesn't work that way? Don't tell me, ok?

2. Because I've heard the opposite thing too many times:

The New York Times Health Page has been torturing me lately with their "guess what, everything you ever heard is wrong" reports. Remember when they said exercise isn't all that good for you? Well, this one is equally annoying but more specific, and has to do with strengthening your core.

So you know how all the exercise experts always tells you the same thing: be sure to pull in your stomach as you work your abs. This is so that you can strengthen the "transversus abdominis" muscle which will help prevent back injuries.

In fact, exercise expert Rupal over at 101 Exercises just recently explained the importance of activating the deep abdominal muscles. And she's very convincing!

So now there's a smarty-pants New York Times article calling this into question. According to them: "There’s growing dissent among sports scientists about whether all of this attention to the deep abdominal muscles actually gives you a more powerful core and a stronger back and whether it’s even safe."

Well dagnabbit. I hate when exercise advice changes!

But to be fair, there are some good alternative core exercises they suggest, like side planks, bird dogs, very-very-modified crunches, and something called "stirring the pot." The video is pretty darn helpful as this stuff is hard to describe. (And thanks to reader Lulu for drawing this article to my attention!)

But I think my favorite source for Core Workouts? Still gotta be Bossy:

3. Because some new statistic pisses me off and/or depresses me.

A new study about teens and contraceptive use says that: "After major improvements in teen contraceptive use in the 1990s and early 2000s, which led to significant declines in teen pregnancy," contraceptive use declined between 2003 and 2007. And it's not because there's been any decrease in teen sexual activity.

"Teens are still having sex," one of the study's authors said, "but it appears many are not taking the necessary steps to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections."

The report suspects the reason might be faltering HIV prevention efforts and "more than a decade of abstinence-only-until-marriage sex education that does not mention contraception unless it is to disparage its use and effectiveness."

Which of course is what most of the health educators and experts predicted would happen. But we got federally funded "abstinence only" sex ed anyway.

I do not have a teen, so that's another reason for me not to spend too much time pondering the why's and wherefores. (And if I did, rather than take the high road and try to educate them myself, I suspect I'd send them over to the Midwest Teen Sex Show and let the fabulous Nikol school them on condoms and other sex ed topics. (Caution, graphic language and very NSFW).

4. Because it's a silly study.

Did you know that if you participate in a research study you think is about choosing colors, and the researchers offer you some soup for lunch, but don't tell you that they've rigged up your soup bowl to re-fill automatically...

...that you'll end up eating more soup than someone with a regular bowl?

Er... duh?

It's true that the people who didn't have sneaky self-refilling bowls had servers visibly refilling them, so the study does say something about how lame we are at telling just from our stomachs how "full" we are. But is this really a surprise???

And this study just seemed doofy on all kind of levels. Doesn't the whole "let's stop and have soup for lunch during our research study on colors" cover story sound kinda unconvincing? As a suspicious crab, I'd just assume they might be watching what I was eating and I'd try to control myself--though I suppose it would be the same weird artificial experience no matter which kind of bowl you had.

Anyway, I thought it was dumb use of research money. We haven't yet found cures for cancer and MS and all the other awful diseases out there. But we have money to rig re-fillable soup bowls to confirm the obvious fact that people use visual cues to tell them how much to eat?

Note: to add an additional embarrassing level of irrelevancy, this study was posted on the well-respected blog Cognitive Daily less than a week ago. But it turns out it's a rerun from 2007! Science blogs are allowed to have reruns? Crap! Why do I always notice the dates on studies after I write them up? Anyway, sorry, next time I'll check more carefully, and try to bring you recent silly studies, not old ones.

So, any studies or advice you've seen lately that you've chosen to ignore?

Crabby Gets Juiced

2009-06-19T16:21:00.003-04:00

(The badge down on the right sidebar is actually clickable.
This is just a fake one that won't do bupkus.)

So I'm pleased to announce that as of Monday June 22, I'm going to be over at Blogher a couple days a week, hanging out one of their groups called The Juice. It's a healthy lifestyles kinda thing, with topics like functional fitness and work/life balance. I'm going to be a Community Facilitator! Or maybe a Community Moderator? Something like that, anyway.

Also on board is Laura from the blog I'm an Organizing Junkie. Which is a obviously a good thing--since I'm so disorganized I can't even remember what my job title is. The group owner is Jory Des Jardins, a co-founder of Blogher.

The Juice is sponsored by Tropicana. Not sure how long the gig will last, as it's structured as a temporary sort of deal, but it looks like at least a few months. And I'm psyched! Not only does it look like a lot of fun, but they plan to pay me actual money.

(I have been known to blog in exchange for free packets of peanut butter, so a paid role doing anything related to blogging is a thrilling development in my little world).

Now part of my role at the Juice is to let folks here at Cranky Fitness know what's going on over there. So in coming months, I'll be putting up some posts doing just that. But fortunately, the folks at Blogher and Tropicana are very upfront about the whole "sponsored blogging" aspect. They believe in full disclosure, which is excellent, because I completely suck at being sneaky.

But I don't feel the least bit sleazy telling you what's going on over there, because there's some cool stuff coming up! They have giveaways and videos, and discussions about various things that Cranky Fitness readers are likely to have opinions about. These discussions are admittedly a bit on the quiet side at the moment, but they should be heating up soon if all goes according to plan.

The coolest thing? If you're a blogger yourself there are gonna be some opportunities to get noticed and publicize yourself and build blog traffic. The earlier you start hanging out, the more chance there is that your suggestions and/or blog posts might be featured in one of the Juice videos. (For example, if you are reading this before Friday, June 26th, go to Jory's "Blogher Shout Out" post and find out how your blog post or video could be featured at the upcoming Blogher '09 conference! I would totally love to see a Cranky Fitness regular appear on that episode.)

So please stay tuned, and maybe I'll see you over there this coming monday!

--Crabby

Crabby vs. Grok; Primal Blueprint Giveaway

2009-06-19T08:04:00.000-04:00

Many of you are already fans of Mark's Daily Apple, the blog by Mark Sisson and his clever and dedicated "worker bees." (Note to Merry: hmm... Worker Bees? Suhweeeet! Do you think we could get some too, and just pay them in pollen and house them in hives?)

Anyway, as many of you know, Mark's Daily Apple is a great resource for healthy living tips, recipes, and news about the latest fitness and nutrition studies. Mark is an advocate of the "primal" lifestyle, and now has a book out called The Primal Blueprint. In it, he explains why you should eat and live more like "Grok," a caveman from 10,000 years ago.

What happens when a modern-day slacker like Crabby meets up with her hairy cave-dwelling ancestor, Grok? And how can you win a free copy of the Primal Blueprint? Please follow us over to the Primal Blueprint giveaway post over on our product review page to find out!

--Crabby

The End of Overeating Giveaway Winner

2009-06-19T07:58:00.001-04:00

The random number generator has chosen Chelsea as our End of Overeating giveaway winner!

Congrats ! Please email us at Crabby McSlacker @ gmail dot com to claim your prize by Wednesday June 24th!

Belly Dance: Exercise or Embarrassing Exhibitionism?

2009-06-18T00:01:00.003-04:00

Photo courtesy of Mike Lawrence

Belly Dancing makes me feel like an atheist in church.

In other words, I don't fit in and I figure if I speak up I might offend somebody. But since this place is called Cranky Fitness, I figure that it's okay to get a little ornery now and then.

Remember when you were a kid and exercise used to be fun? That's how I felt when I tried a belly dance class. I am sure that I looked extremely silly, but it didn't matter. It felt fun. Then the instructor moved away and I tried DVDs instead, and ran into the atheist-in-church phenomenon.

I dislike belly dancing because:

- it's like a country cousin that's gone to the city and had its head turned by the bright lights and glitter. In other words, when you see someone performing belly dance today, it's a faint distant echo of the dance's original roots
- people are so damn serious and solemn about it! It's dancing, for Nijinsky's sake. Lighten up a bit.
- far too often, the outfits are not really that flattering and get in the way, sometimes literally, of the dancing itself

I like belly dancing because:

- it's a whole lot more fun than situps
- it's easy to move when you've got a good drum beat
- dancing is fun
- it teaches isolation of muscles as well as balance (see the video below)

All right, that's freaky. But it's incredible muscle control, too. And it's the kind of control you can learn through belly dancing.

[Text for the bandwidth-impaired: What Delilah is doing is moving three coins on her stomach. Without using her hands, she moves them one at a time down her abdomen. She tells you which coin she's going to move, and then she uses her stomach muscles to move the coins. Now that's control. (Okay, you could also say that's insane. I think both apply. Fascinating, in a weird way.)]

I love the idea of anything that works the abs without laying down. Especially first thing in the morning, lying down tends to make the body think I'm being really cool and nice and letting it go back to sleep for awhile. It's not inclined to work out in the a.m. anyway, why encourage it to be sloth-like?

Belly dancing also teaches balance

While I'm not a fan of the outfits in general, the hip scarves or coin belts that dancers wear do serve a purpose. Belly dancing deals with isolation of muscle groups. If you're shimmying your shoulders, the hips aren't supposed to follow along. The jingly scarves will tell you if your hips start jiggling along with the upper body when they shouldn't.

When dancers become more adept, they show off how well they've mastered the trick of isolating moving the hips as opposed to the upper body.

[Text: this dancer is swaying her hips while squatting down and then kneeling ... all the while keeping a sword balanced edgewise on top of her head. Other dancers have performed while balancing a tray of glasses, or a lit candelabrum on the head while dancing. That's balance.]

If you want to try belly dance

The best way to learn is of course to find an instructor you like. But if that's not an option, there are a whole lot of DVDs that purport to teach belly dancing. Some are pretty damn silly. There are also a lot of DVDs that use "belly dance" in the title but are actually aerobic videos designed to give you a workout. Nothing wrong with that, so long as you don't expect instruction.

Below are a list of my most and least favorite DVDs out there.

Instructional Belly Dance DVDs

Warning: these videos are designed to teach you how to dance. So there's a lot of learning the movements, practicing them, then doing a bit of choreographed dancing. In other words, don't try these DVDs if you're looking to work up a sweat in 20 minutes. Try the Aerobic DVDs below instead.

For learning to belly dance, I love Delilah's DVDs. (The woman who did the coin trick video.) And I say that in spite of the fact that I find the music annoying, the warm up excessively New Age, and her hairstyle pure 80's. (I can get really persnickety sometimes. Probably because I do these DVDs first thing in the a.m., when I am at my most cranky.) None of those snippy little drawbacks matter a damn compared to the fact that Delilah is good at getting a concept into the brain.

Also, not that I'm getting paid for this, if you live near Portland (OR), Delilah is performing live at the end of the month.

If you want to ease into belly dancing, you might try the "belly dance twins" Neena and Veena's DVDs. They teach authentic belly dance, but they ease you into it gently so if you're not sure what you're doing, you never feel overwhelmed.

Jillina is a good teacher, if you're already a dancer or in good shape. Bit of a steep learning curve if you're not used to dancing or to working out.

Learn to belly dance with Rania. After I started this DVD, I went back and checked to make sure the title really was Learn to belly dance. It feels like a DVD geared toward people who already know how to do it. Get the feeling of being thrown in the deep end and expected to keep up. The pace is too fast if you're a newbie trying to wrap your brain around a concept and persuade your muscles to move in unusual directions. Probably this would work for someone who is already a dancer and who has had some experience with belly dance, and wants to try something different. Would not recommend it to a beginner.

Aerobic Belly Dance DVDs

While I'm not fond of her "Learn to Belly Dance" DVD, I love Rania's personal trainer DVD. (If you haven't tried her earlier aerobics DVDs you'll feel thrown in the deep end when it comes to the cardio portions, at least at first.) What I love is the variety of workouts that are on this DVD. I can look at the menu and decide whether I want a hard workout or a maintenance-level workout, or whether I just want to spend 10 minutes working on my abs. Rania excels at designing a workout that can get my blood pumping in only 10 minutes.

Again, if you're new to belly dancing or not really fit, I would recommend the belly dance twins' aerobic DVDs. Unlike their instructional DVDs, these are not really useful for learning the dance, but they're good for a beginner who wants to do some aerobics. I wouldn't recommend them if you're in good shape, as the routines are repetitive and not that fascinating. Good for getting your breathing rapid, but dull. On the other hand, even if you don't like the workout these women are very good dancers and they include sample dances that are the best I've seen.

Oh dear... I did say I'd include some of my least favorite DVDs... okay, here goes.

The Goddess Workout with Dophina: Bellydance with Veils. The cover and the title kinda tell it all. Do not pick up this DVD unless you have a very strong tolerance for the color pink, and also the ability to listen to a lot of talk about "your inner goddess." Do not expect a great workout. Based on the Amazon reviews, I thought that at least I would be able to give my arms a workout with this DVD. Nnnnnnnope. Though I did admire the way that a fan off-camera blew so that the veil the woman was holding was always artistically draped behind her.

Photo credit: Franco Folini

When you see people dressed up in gauze and glitter, it's hard to take this seriously as exercise. All the same, you ever have trouble getting moving, try a drum solo -- the beat bypasses the brain and goes straight to the feet. Need to get your heart rate up? Try doing a shimmy, tiny little controlled movements, for 20 minutes. While your upper body is doing entirely different movements. When you're doing lateral figure 8s with your hips and vertical figure 8s with your ribs, come back to me and tell me how easy this is.

Me? Defensive? Well... maybe a bit.

I'm kind of embarrassed to tell people I do this. Frankly, I think drug trafficking is considered more reputable. Prancing around in a silly skimpy outfit like an outsized reindeer?

The whole point of doing these exercises, it seems to me, is to be able to work your muscles in isolation. I love the idea of having such control over my body that I can control my stomach muscles to the point of moving coins separately down the body. Or of being able to be performing a side to side motion with the upper half of the body while the hips are following the shape of a vertical figure 8 at the same time. Trying to figure these sorts of movements out occupies the mind wonderfully, so that I can get a whole hour's worth of exercise and not spend half my time watching the clock.

Have you ever tried belly dancing? Or some other form of exercise that made people look askance at you? It's okay, you can tell me. Whisper it. I won't tell.

Elliptical Trainers: Ur Doing It Wrong

2009-06-17T10:17:00.001-04:00

For those of you who haven't been to a gym in a decade or so, ellipticals are those popular contraptions that people pedal on standing up, with their feet moving in—you guessed it— an “elliptical” shape.

They are sort of a cross between a Nordic-track ski machine and a stair climber. (Though how the equipment breeders ever got the two machines to mate remains a mystery. Nordic-Tracks are notoriously chilly and unapproachable).

Some ellipticals have swinging arm handles that you pump back and forth as you move, as if you were cross country skiing. Others have stationary rails that you can ignore if you have good balance, or that you can grasp onto to keep from flying off the machine and making an ass of yourself.

Even though ellipticals are one of my favorite machines at the gym, I had no idea there was a “right” way and a “wrong” way to use them. Did you?

A while back I came across some helpful advice on proper elliptical form over at Girl At Gym. Then, inspired to do some further research, I ~~interviewed dozens of personal trainers and exercise physiologists~~ consulted Dr. Google and discovered there was all kinds of advice out there about ellipticals!

Swinging arm handles? Handrails? Or Hands-Free?

Here was the place I found the most diversity. Several fitness advisors seemed to like the swinging arm things. However, it was suggested one grab them at shoulder height, not higher.

And everyone seemed to agree that if you’re holding onto the stationary handrails for balance, you should not lean into them. That’s cheating.

But several trainers suggested going hands-free, to work your core muscles and improve your balance.

And for me, this was great news! I love going hands-free. When I try to hold onto swinging arms as I pedal, I am as graceful as a hippopotamus on roller skates. Even worse? If I get stuck using one of these machines and try to ignore the handles, which are moving fast whether I’m holding on to them or not, inevitably I space out and forget. I move right in front of them to grab my water bottle and… SMACK-SMACK-SMACK! #@$%!!

Go backwards as well as forwards.

This is a great advantage of the elliptical over many other machines. The reverse motion recruits different muscles and can help prevent injuries. Going backwards is also an awesome core/balance trainer if you do it with no hands.

Don’t put all your weight on your toes.

Some experts suggest you put most of your weight on the back of your foot, and assume almost a sort of “squat” position; others suggest you start on your heels and roll through your whole foot. Many of us lean too far forward on our toes and don’t use enough of our quad muscles.

Don’t slouch or sway.

Stand up straight, relax your shoulders, keep your back in line with your hips, and try not to move side to side.

Don’t slack off too much.

Unlike a treadmill, which will punish you by flinging you off the back if you forget to run fast enough, an elliptical is all mellow and forgiving if you start dawdling. So check your pace periodically or you may not be getting much of a workout.

Don’t bounce.

Oh Noooo! I hate this advice. I always bounce!

That’s the whole reason I love the elliptical machine in the first place: I crank up my tunes and FLY on that thing like it’s a playground ride. Wheee! And when a really good song comes on, I also dance a bit, bobbing my head, swinging my hips in violation of the no-swaying rule, even tapping out the beat using an imaginary drumstick or tambourine. I am no doubt known around town as “that dork from the gym who thinks no one can see her,” and concerned citizens are probably taking up a collection at this very moment to buy me some home exercise equipment.

But bouncing is considered cheating. You're letting gravity do too much of the work for you.

So all this time I have been doing the ellipitical all wrong.

It’s smart to correct bad form.

Even though bouncing makes my workout way more fun, I’d do less damage to my knees and get a much better workout using a steady motion rather than launching myself up in the air with each step. It’s an elliptical machine after all, not a pogo stick! So there’s really only one conclusion I can come to about the “no bouncing” rule:

I think I’ll pretend I never read about it.

Do you folks pay a lot of attention to using proper form when you work out, or are you more "what the hell, at least I'm exercising?"

The typical CF reader

2009-06-16T00:05:00.001-04:00

What blog do I read? Is this a trick question?
Photo courtesy of Jurvetson

If you’ve been reading the comments that we get here, you’ll know there really isn’t such a thing as a “typical” reader. They come in all different shapes, sizes, attitudes & approaches to health and fitness.

Still, this was my idea of what a typical day-in-the-life would be for three average Cranky Fitness readers.

6 a.m.

Cyndee Sloth: Sleeping
Dan Dogged: Lacing up running shoes
Jack Rabbit: Already out on the running trail

7 a.m.

Cyndee Sloth: Sleeping
Dan Dogged: Cooling down
Jack Rabbit: Heading in to work

8 a.m.

Cyndee Sloth: Sleeping
Dan Dogged: Eating healthy breakfast
Jack Rabbit: At work sending out "looking busy" emails so everyone knows how hard he works

9 a.m.

Cyndee Sloth: Driving to work while putting on mascara and scarfing down a McBreakfast
Dan Dogged: Prioritizing items for a To Do list
Jack Rabbit: Already had two cups of coffee, sent 20 emails, and fired a couple people

1 p.m.

Cyndee Sloth: Reading Cranky Fitness
Dan Dogged: Reading Cranky Fitness
Jack Rabbit: Reading Cranky Fitness

5 p.m.

Cyndee Sloth: Sneaking out for a drink with "the gang"
Dan Dogged: Finishing the last item on his To Do list
Jack Rabbit: Firing a couple more people, just to keep in practice

6 p.m.

Cyndee Sloth: "Well, just one more drink. I'll be extra good tomorrow."
Dan Dogged: A relaxed dinner (salmon & salad) with the family
Jack Rabbit: Dinner at a fashionable restaurant with a date his secretary fixed him up with

8 p.m.

Cyndee Sloth: Watching TV while chowing down on pizza
Dan Dogged: Watching TV while lifting weights
Jack Rabbit: Writing a nasty email to his secretary about her taste in friends

10 p.m.

Cyndee Sloth: Settling down to play games on the computer
Dan Dogged: Drifting off to sleep
Jack Rabbit: Sending more "looking busy" emails to his boss

11 p.m.

Cyndee Sloth: Thinking about going to bed "... well maybe just one more game."
Dan Dogged: Snoring
Jack Rabbit: Surfing internet chat rooms under the alias "lonely boy"

After a year...

Cyndee: Gained 10 pounds. Can't figure out why.
Dan: Maintained weight.Increased average running speed.
Jack: Got voted Most Annoying Employee and was let go during the last re-org.

Moral: Reading Cranky Fitness has been shown¹ to help people become thinner, fitter, and blonder, but even reading this blog on a regular basis is not enough to keep you fit all by itself.

Are you a typical reader? Does this day-in-the-life even remotely resemble your day? (Me, I can kinda relate to Cyndee...)

¹Merry's Book of Meretricious Statistics, Morally Ambiguous Publishing, Inc., $29.99 at your local bookstore.

Personal Day

2009-06-15T06:14:00.002-04:00

This is to announce that Crabby is taking a "personal day" today.

Yep, I'm taking off from the blog in order to fly cross-country on personal business***, so I'm gone, but it's not quite vacation. And I hate hate hate to fly. I'd actually rather be home surfing the web for health news and fielding PR pitches for vitamin water than sitting in an airplane... go figure!

But anyway, it's also a "personal day" in the sense that I did an interview with the nice folks at A Weight Lifted, and they're running it today over at their blog.

Now if you're anything like me, you might have a slight resistance to clicking the link. Because you came HERE, and now I'm sending you SOMEWHERE ELSE for today's post. I know I hate to follow a blogger over to a guest post elsewhere. And I have a cable modem, so it's not even about loading time... it's the principle of the thing! People shouldn't be wandering all over the web making you chase after them, dagnabbit!

Anyway, sorry about that. But if you don't mind clicking over to A Weight Lifted for the Crabby McSlacker interview, they're very nice folks over there and they ask fun questions! Remember Marsha, the Dietitian with Dark Dirty Secrets? That's where she blogs.

And as to my "personal business," it's one of those things that's really interesting if you're the person actually conducting the business, but not so interesting if you're not. But if you're bored this morning and want to know what it is...

***Crabby's Personal Business, Explained:

We might be buying a condo.

See, once upon a time, the Lobster and I had a home in California, in the San Francisco Bay Area. But we sold it and downsized into a condo in Provincetown, Massachusetts--one of our favorite places on earth.

The problem? Winter time. In freezing-ass cold weather, Provincetown is not such a favorite place anymore. It's not only cold but lonely. Almost nothing is open and only a few hardy souls hang around.

We don't do hardy.

We are aware that some people, on contemplating a move from a year-round home to a summer place, might think about winter plans before selling their house. But we decided hey, it's a good time to sell in CA, so what the heck! We'll take it a year at a time.

Last winter we stayed with relatives in the SF Bay Area, and this coming winter it looks like we have a house-sitting arrangement lined up in our old Rockridge neighborhood. Hooray!

But at some point we'd like to have a more permanent winter home. So we're attempting to buy a condo in San Diego where it's warmer than the Bay Area, but still close enough for frequent family visits. We found a place we are very excited about (in Hillcrest, near Balboa Park) and put an offer on it. However, we are planning to rent it out for a year or so until we're sure we can actually afford to live in it.

So I need to fly out and make sure the place is not radioactive, or infested with rats or rattlesnakes, or riddled with toxic mold, or located next to a meth lab or a vampire lair or something.

Be back sometime Wednesday morning. Thanks for your patience!

--Crabby