Just Cranky

What's In A Name?

2026-03-23T11:40:00.000-04:00

Has your name ever made your life more difficult? This seems to be my year for it!

And, on what at first might not seem a related note (but stay tuned), my new book is out! Actually, it's only available for pre-order, if you're enough of a mad risk-taker to spring for a $4.99 ebook before the reviews are in. But it's only a short wait: fully available to read in ebook format, or as a $15.99 paperback on March 28. And if you have Kindle Unlmited it's free.

More on this (much more, probably) once the book is officially launched and no one is rushing to buy it. But I thought I'd at least mention it now.

Check out the link here: Niccolo Would Like a Word on Amazon.

So why has my rather ordinary name caused me grief? And do I have crotchety observations about names in other contexts? Of course I do!

Oh joy! Endlessly Phoning Insurance Companies

This has been a confounding off-and-on battle the past couple of years, but I finally solved the mystery. Well, several mysteries:

Why was my insurance company denying all my claims, on the basis that I had co-insurance with another company, which I did not in fact have? (And how do you prove a negative? Said insurance company wouldn't let me talk to anyone straighten it out, because I couldn't access their system, because I did not actually have insurance with them).

Why were charges showing up on my Explanation of Benefits form for procedures I'd never had, at places I'd never been to? Even after I complained to said billing departments that they weren't my bills?

Well, turns out there's another Janice Graham who also lives in Massachusetts with my exact same date of birth. Not just same day and month, but same year. So my insurance problems followed me from private insurance to Medicare when we both signed up at the same time.

I happened to catch an address that showed up on some portal or another, so I copied it down and did some internet sleuthing. Found my namesake, called her up, and we had a nice chat! She'd been getting my bills too. We are in the process of trying to straighten it out, but insurance companies are not known for swiftly resolving their own errors.

Maybe years back I should have just legally changed my name to Crabby McSlacker? I can't imagine I'd be having the same problems.

Um, No, I'm Not That Jan Graham

This was fun: when you launch an Amazon book page, it generates a similar book page on Goodreads. Authors desperately crave visitors, and especially people kind enough to leave positive reviews to draw in new readers and boost their visibility. Goodreads is apparently powerful, so it's an important part of the marketing process.

So when I went to Goodreads, there was my book! Linked to author Jan Graham. Alas, not me. But she doesn't look entirely unlike me either.

As it happens, the other Jan Graham specializes in erotic BDSM fiction, and identifies as Submissive.

Not that there is anything wrong with that. Plus she probably sells way more books than I ever will.

But... would new potential readers, or even more chillingly, casual acquaintances or old friends I haven't seen in ages, or people I know only through the interwebs think "well gosh, this is an interesting side to Jan we didn't know about?"

It took a bit of doing but I have decoupled us, saving hordes of fans hungry for erotic BDSM fiction from bitter disappointment when purchasing my novel. Murderous revenge plot? Check! Adult themes? Check. Bondage and spanking? Er, no. Sorry.

Anyone Else Not Crazy About Their Name?

So I've never much liked my first name Janice

It's supposed to be pronounced the French way, like Jah-NEECE. My mother's family was from Louisiana and all spoke French. But since it's spelled Janice, it looks like it should be pronounced as JAN-iss. In any event, I've always gone by my nickname, Jan, except for a brief period of time when I had an online identity of Jamie, which I felt suited me better, but whatever. It's not impossible, but it's difficult to change your first name midlife, and I didn't have the determination to become a Jamie for real.

What's wrong with Jan/Janice? Well, nothing that dramatic. Just the strange feeling I get when I mispronounce my own legal first name as JAN-iss because it's easier for everyone that way. And the sense that my nickname adds about 10 years to my perceived age, because it was already well on the way out when I got it. It's not a classic, like Elizabeth or Katherine. Jan is the Ethel or Agnes of my generation.

The fact that the whiniest Brady was named Jan is probably not gonna bode well for any comeback.

But Here's What Helped Me Get Over It

I've met so many cool Jan's in the last couple of decades! I don't know where they were when I was younger. But there are plenty of them around now, and oddly enough, many are writers or fans of the written word.

And yeah, most of them are older than I am. But since they are not me, I can detach the name from the uncomfortable sense of me/not me, and the name suddenly becomes a simple ordinary syllable. Nothing inherently stodgy, just a sound. Not unlike John or Jim or Jane or Jay or June. Simple. Innocuous.

So Many People Have it Worse

Moon Unit and Dweezil Zappa are always the first ones to come to mind, but there are plenty of other shitty names parents give their kids. Sometimes without even realizing it! For example, the White Pages says there are at least fifteen hundred men named Michael Hunt in the U.S. But I imagine most of them avoid being called Mike. As in, picture yourself introducing your new friend to your mother: Mom, meet Mike Hunt! Similarly, the many Harold Dicks out there probably hate it when anyone shortens their name to Harry.

Many people embrace their unusual names. It hasn't hurt the Zappas. And Marijuana Pepsi Vandyck went on to write about prejudice faced by Black students with unusual names in white classrooms.

And of course there's Randy Rainbow! What a convenient handle for a brilliant gay comedian/composer.

Have any of you had problems with your name? Or run into any unusual names?

On Being an Outsider

2026-03-02T16:19:00.000-05:00

This is just a quick post, because we just moved to San Diego, yay! But this means there are a ton of items on our To-Do list. And while it's tempting to quietly shift them to our Let's Pretend We'll Get Right On That list, they are things that actually need to get done. Whereas writing a blog post for a handful of readers with better things to do? That doesn't fit on any sensible list.

Yet somehow here we are.

Anyway, so for a few days my feeds kept adamantly pointing me to an Atlantic article about the upside of not fitting in, explaining all the nifty benefits that come from being an outsider. The underlying article is four years old, so I'm not sure why they were pushing it, other than that they somehow sensed I needed something to blog about.

I actually agreed to the premise, in theory... yet something about it stuck in my craw. I seem to be someone with a very sticky craw, given the number of things that accumulate in there. (Note: I went to double check what a craw was and discovered that all these years I'd had it wrong! It's a pouch in the throat that certain birds use to aid in digestion. I'd somehow always pictured a large Crow clutching something in its Claw. Crow + Claw = Craw. It's unsettling to realize one has reached one's sixties with kindergartner's understanding of a common expression for something not sitting quite right).

So what did the article say about the benefits of being an Outsider and what made me grumpy about it?

The Benefits of Not Fitting In

Let's go ahead and quote the Atlantic, because I'm lazy:

The loneliness, the self-doubt, the sense that everyone else has the map except you: Those are often signs that you’re stretching, not failing. Over time, Brooks writes, outsiders tend to grow more resilient and emotionally strong—not in spite of the discomfort, but because of it.
Outsiders, Olga Khazan wrote in 2020, are freer to question assumptions, break rules, and imagine alternatives, because they’ve already learned what it feels like to stand apart. She draws on social-science research showing that people who feel excluded are often better at original thinking, precisely because they’re less bound by group norms.

Well sure, that makes sense. The underlying article goes on to suggest you jet off on a sabbatical in a foreign country, or at least go to a different gym or church, to reap the benefits of an outsider's perspective.

Why I Call Bullshit

So yeah, not fitting in does shape you in ways that can be beneficial later on. But whether this is a good thing or a bad thing depends a lot on how and why you don't fit in, doesn't it?

For example, the author of the original article, Arthur C. Brooks, mentions that he's biased, because he too was an outsider! He was put on academic probation in art school, and so instead went to Spain in his twenties to play the French horn. He had to learn the language and he did not fit in for a while. He later came back to the U.S. and became a Harvard professor and has written a bunch of self help/personal growth books. For him it was a very enriching experience despite being difficult at first.

And so yeah, I can relate: being a privileged white person voluntarily pursuing adventures in a foreign country comes with a bit of discomfort! Especially if you don't already speak the language. And it does come with all sorts of long term benefits, if you choose to cultivate them. I could (and probably will) write a whole post about these.

But I think what gets me a little riled is the way the article seems to trivialize what it really means to be an outsider involuntarily. To be not just different, but marginalized, condemned, bullied, excluded, oppressed.

Whether or not it ultimately makes you more of a creative thinker, I don't think anyone should feel they need to live a full "outsider" experience.

Risking your life to flee war, poverty, torture, famine and disease only to end up in a country that doesn't want you, who treats you as less than human? Being born with disabilities, or being neurodivergent, or being the "wrong" race or religion, or being gay or trans in the wrong time or place?

Yes, in the long run these struggles can make you an independent thinker! But bullying and discrimination and ostracism can lead to low self esteem, chronic stress, even suicide, and a whole lot of other shitty outcomes as well. And this may be a stretch, but promoting the idea that people's experience of being excluded and discriminated against is really, in the long run, good for them? I think it's a bit problematic during times like these where bigotry and white supremacy and other forms of intolerance are so prevalent and politically powerful.

The Bottom Line: Compassion

So there's so much more to say about Being an Outsider, versus Feeling Like You Belong. Another day maybe. But I think one of the best outcomes one can have from feeling on the outside is understanding what it's like for other outsiders.

I don't think it's necessarily inevitable. Have you noticed how many people who are oppressed or ostracized or bullied will turn right around and vicimize others? Just think of how many mass shootings have resulted from that dynamic. But for many of us who have at one point been seen as Undesirable Others, it's worthwhile to keep remembering what that feels like, and be mindful that there are always ousiders in our midst who may be struggling, and to lend a hand or an ear or a shoulder to cry on or whatever body part might be appropriate.

Are You, Or Have You Ever Been An Outsider?

My experience living in a foreign country feels fairly trivial on the scale of Outsiderness. On the other hand, growing up gay in the '60s and '70s felt much more impactful, although ultimately it has brought more joy than trauma, somewhat validating the premise of the article. And my neurotic, introverted, weirdo personality has also made me feel a bit like an alien at times, but a stubborn alien who doesn't necessarily want to assimilate with normal humans.

There are lots of ways of being an outsider, of feeling excluded. You may feel conspicuous, or, almost as bad somehow: invisible. Perhaps you're a woman in a male dominated profession. Or a Muslim in a conservative Christian neighborhood. A Yankees fan living in Boston. There are lots of ways of not fitting in.

How about you guys? Have you ever felt like you didn't belong? Was that a good thing or a bad thing for you?

Zoned Out: So Which Damn Cardio Zone(s) Should You Aim For?

2026-02-16T07:41:00.002-05:00

There are many reasons that Cranky Fitness stopped pretending to be a blog about fitness, and became Just Cranky instead. One of them is: health and fitness research keeps contradicting itself. Who can trust it anymore?

And yet, I can't help it: I still keep clicking on headlines and reading studies and listening to experts and watching little how-to videos. I'm frequently asking Chatty, my AI health research assistant, for her cheerfully confident yet often inaccurate advice.

But every time I'm convinced I finally know what the "best" answer is to a health question? Some new take from an equally credible source comes along and says, nope, that was all wrong! How to sort out these scientific cat fights? Who do I listen to?

Is it best to just "zone out" and ignore it all and go with our guts?

So I'm still struggling a bit with cardio due to hypoparathyroidism, a rare and completely bonkers endocrine disorder I managed to acquire after cancer surgery. So it feels super important to try to optimize the cardio I can get away with.

But it turns out Expert Advice has changed a bit since back in the Cranky Fitness days! So what's the surprising new twist?

But First: Remember Cardio Zones?

This is the boring, background research part of health blogging that I hate doing. So since (a) I'm not a health blogger anymore and (b) no one is reading this, let alone paying me anything, I'll do the Bezos and Musk thing and just fire the human (me) and let Chatty have a go at it.

If you already know about zones, just skip on right through!

Cardio (heart-rate) zones = intensity bands based on % of your max heart rate or metabolic thresholds.

Most models use 5 zones, from very easy to maximal effort.

Typical 5-zone model

Zone 1 → ~50–60% max HR — very easy / recovery

Zone 2 → ~60–70% — aerobic endurance base
Zone 3 → ~70–80% — moderate-hard “tempo”
Zone 4 → ~80–90% — threshold / hard
Zone 5 → ~90–100% — near-max / VO₂max

These zones roughly track metabolic changes. For example, crossing from Zone 2 to Zone 3 corresponds to passing a lactate threshold where acid production rises faster than the body clears it. Um, and what does that mean, exactly? No clue. It just sounds impressively sciencey.

Note: if you want to double check her sources, Chatty cites Cleveland Clinic and Mass General Brigham.

So What's New in Zone Training Advice?

So back when I was fitness blogging, "Cardio" meant Zone 3 and Zone 4. And that's what we mostly did. Zone 2 was for warm up and cool down.

And the new cool kid on the block was Zone 5, which is where you end up when doing HIIT, or High Intensity Interval Training.

I wrote quite a few posts back in the day about the benefits of High Intensity Interval Training, because it's awesome for you in countless ways. But because the protocols were so brutal, I invented my own alternative: Somewhat High Intensity Interval Training, or SHIIT for short.

And guess what? Cranky Fitness was ahead of the curve. Turns out that turning up the intensity to nearly barf-inducing levels is still encouraged.

Enter... Polarization!

No, this does not refer to training with cool sunglasses.

It means: focusing on low and high intensity zones and blowing off most of the stuff in the middle.

So why are some experts recommending that we ditch most of our old mainstay Zone 3 and 4, and instead, spend the majority of our time in boring lower intensity Zone 2 training, with a sprinkling of agonizing Zone 5?

Because research studies and elite training programs started seeing better results that way. And it turns out there are unique longevity and metabolic benefits that humble Zone 2 and horrific Zone 5 provide that you don't get from the middle zones.

Cardio Zone 2 Benefits

So what's so great about lower intensity cardio?

Hit it, Chatty!

Mitochondrial function & density

Zone 2 stimulates mitochondrial efficiency, oxidative capacity, and fat metabolism.

Insulin sensitivity & glucose control

Improves insulin sensitivity and glucose handling, helping prevent metabolic disease.

Capillary density and oxygen use

Improves oxygen delivery and cellular oxygen utilization via mitochondrial and capillary adaptations.

Fat oxidation & metabolic flexibility

Encourages fat as fuel → important for long-duration energy and metabolic health.

Why this matters for health:

Mitochondria = central to aging, energy, and chronic disease risk
Insulin sensitivity = central to cardiometabolic risk
Aerobic base = allows sustainable lifetime activity

Cardio Zone 5 (HIIT) Benefits

So in case you were hoping that the benefits of God-awful HIIT training turned out to be over-hyped and were minimal enough to ignore, um... sorry. Can we have a recap of the benefits, Chatty?

Higher VO₂max is strongly associated with lower cardiovascular disease risk and lower all-cause mortality.
HIIT improves insulin sensitivity and helps muscle cells take up and use glucose more efficiently. This supports metabolic flexibility and reduces risk for metabolic syndrome and type 2 diabetes.
HIIT is associated with reductions in total body fat and body fat percentage.
Some studies also show reductions in visceral fat, the fat stored around organs that is strongly linked to cardiometabolic disease risk.
High-intensity exercise can increase brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), which supports neuron growth, brain plasticity, and cognitive function.
HIIT can also increase vascular growth factors that support blood vessel development in the brain. These effects are often strongest immediately after intense exercise sessions.
HIIT improves endothelial function, which is how well blood vessels dilate and regulate blood flow. This supports cardiovascular health and may help reduce long-term vascular disease risk.
HIIT activates signaling pathways which supports mitochondrial biogenesis and improves muscle oxidative capacity, even with relatively low total training time.

Why this all matters for health:

VO₂max is one of the strongest measurable predictors of long-term health and survival. High-intensity exercise also provides signals that are difficult to replicate with lower-intensity training alone, including strong metabolic, vascular, and neurological adaptation signals.

Also from personal experience: Zone 5 makes you feel like a badass. It's painful but quick, and incredibly rewarding.

So what are you missing out on if you concentrate on Zone 2 and 5 and start blowing off Zone 3 and Zone 4?

According to Polarization People: maybe not as much as you thought!

Chatty?

Mid-range training is especially good at improving lactate threshold — the ability to sustain a relatively hard pace for longer periods — which matters for events like distance running, cycling, or hiking at a strong pace. It can also improve exercise efficiency at moderate-hard intensities, helping activities at the “comfortably hard” level feel easier. Some people also find Zone 3 training psychologically and practically useful because it’s challenging but sustainable and easier to structure than very hard intervals. For people training for performance, racing, or time-limited fitness gains, this zone can be very valuable. For general health and longevity, however, many of the core metabolic and cardiovascular benefits can be achieved through a combination of lower-intensity aerobic work and smaller amounts of high-intensity work, which is why some modern training approaches minimize — but don’t necessarily eliminate — time spent in the middle intensity range.

On the Other Hand...

Polarization is still not mainstream.

In fact, one of the biggest advocates for this sort of training style is the recently disgraced Peter Attia. Although I don't know that his disgustingly close relationship with a wealthy pedophile necessarily nullifies benefits people have discovered from his training advice. After all, wealthy pedophiles pay good money for expert advice to maximize longevity. (Although it didn't seem to work out too well for Mr. Epstein).

And it's not just pedophiles who think emphasizing Zone 2 and Zone 5 is smart. Zone 5 has been trendy for quite a while now, and Zone 2 is gaining traction in the exercise world, especially among endurance coaches. And for some reason, every podcaster and longevity expert I've encountered lately seems to be advocating for this, or at least in my weird little fitness-nerd corner of the world.

Yet mainstream advice still emphasizes doing pretty much everything, with the hope that you will at least do something. It's mostly the more cutting edge longevity folks who are telling us to pile up the Zone 2, season with Zone 5, and not worry so much about 3 and 4.

Biggest Drawbacks of Zone 2: How the Hell to Know When You're in it?

Experts disagree on exactly where Zone 2 starts and stops, and it's really hard for some of us to tell when we're there: Especially when our heart rates and the "talk test" and the perceived rate of exertion all point us in different directions. It could be the subject of a whole other extremely Cranky post! Here's a starter article from Cleveland Clinic with cardio zone advice, but if you are considering Zone 2 training it's probably worth doing a lot more research, so you can get a definitive answer personalized for your situation, and then later find out it was totally wrong.

For example, I spent a year or two trying to build up Zone 2 mileage only to discover that my Garmin watch most likely had my zones wrong, and that I was probably in Zone 1 for much of that time. No wonder it felt like I wasn't making any progress. Much crankiness ensued, and now I'm experimenting with different heart rate targets.

Second Biggest Drawback: You Have to Go Longer and it Gets Really Freaking Boring

As I recall, the recommended amount is about 3 hours a week of Zone 2 as a minimum. Which is a lot, especially if you also want to do HIIT, strength training, stretching, meditation etc, etc, etc. Zone 2 is endurance training, and it's interesting to some of us to discover that our brain's endurance craps out way more quickly than our body's endurance! At least I have my secret weapon, my Holofit Virtual Reality world to escape to. (Note: I get no money recommending it, I just think it's cool).

Biggest Drawback of Zone 5, High Intensity

It sucks.

So What Kind of Cardio Should You Be Doing?

Short answer: whatever the hell kind seems to work for you. You can find research to justify pretty much any kind of cardio.

Motivation and consistency are SO much more important than picking the absolute best protocol.

For me, a polarized plan is pretty ideal. I love the feeling of accomplishment I get doing HIIT, even if only once a week. It's so damn good for you. And I try to also work in at least 3 days of Zone 2, because it's slightly easier to recover from with my fucked up spazzy calf muscles than Zones 3 and 4 are, and I like the idea of grabbing some of those metabolic and longevity benefits unique to Zone 2. But we're all special little snowflakes with our own beautifully complex constellations of goals, vulnerabilities and preferences.