Just Cranky

Maybe April Isn't the Cruelest Month?

2026-05-09T11:45:00.000-04:00

Apologies to those of you who thought you'd gotten rid of me, here I am again! But this will (I hope) be a short post. It's just that my last update came at a time when I was feeling a bit discouraged, and in retrospect it doesn't feel like a great way to wander off.

So I had a couple of great things happen last month. And I hope I'm not the only one? I'd love to hear if there's something in the air, some ethereal springtime sprinkling of hope and promise, or if April was just as shitty as any other month in 2026 for you all. Hoping it's the former.

So what were the two great things?

Thing 1: The launch of Niccolo Would Like a Word actually went really well!

The problem was, I have all the patience of a toddler at 5 am on Christmas morning. So I felt dejected when potential readers didn't instantly snap up copies, read them in a few days, and leave stellar ratings and reviews so that new readers could find the book.

But with a little bit of perspective, looking back now that it's been a bit over a month, I realized that initial sales have actually been quite robust! Some statistic I read on threads (she said with her usual scientific rigor) said that book sales of Niccolo Would Like a Word have already exceeded what the vast majority of indie authors ever get over the lifetime of their books.

Is that statistic correct? Who cares, it made me feel better! It is not a hugely impressive number, which is why I'm not sharing it, but the philosphy of this blog has always been: set a super low bar as your goal, then feel pleased with yourself when you clear it!

So it seems that a lot of really wonderful people in my life went out and forked over their own hard-earned cash just to be nice to me. And some of these people even read the book and left kind reviews, or rated it with an encouraging amount of stars, or arm-twisted their friends to buy copies. So now my novel has at least the same infintesimal chance of recouping its costs as most other books written by newbies!

I've also met a few of other indie authors along the way who have been great to commiserate with, including a very fun new friend, more seasoned than I, who is offering me a tremendous amount of help. Not something I expected at all.

So I've gone from feeling mopey and impatient to feeling quite pleased, and ready to get back to writing the next one. THANK YOU SO MUCH to all who have purchased, rated, or encouraged me in any way.

And also, thanks to anyone who still shows up here! You don't have to buy anything for me to appreciate you. I especially love hearing how you're all doing. Some of you even signed up for my mailing list at Jan-Graham.com! I will try to consolidate both blog and website lists so you don't have to get double of the emails I will be too lazy to send out.

Thing 2: I got insurance approval for the insanely expensive drug I need to replace my nonfunctioning parathyroid glands!

I don't really understand it. My Wellcare Part D drug plan costs about $7 a month, already gives me several free Rx's, and yet they approved me right away for a drug that can run in the hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. The only thing that's been slowing me down is my endocrinologist, one of the few who deals with my rare disease. She's all onboard, but has been pretty shitty so far at the paperwork aspect. However, she's a lovely person and we're finally getting there. I start my injections next week.

Now normally I'd prattle on for another thousand words or so about nothing in particular, but damn it, I'm going to resist the temptation and just ask anyone who's still hanging around here:

Was April cruel or kind to you this year? And how's May going?

The Novel Is Out! So What Next?

2026-04-22T13:03:00.000-04:00

A few of my friends have been sending me pictures of Niccolo out and about in the world. He's a cat, so this suits him--he hates to be confined!

I'm hoping he manages to find all kinds of new interesting places to hang out. And I promise he won't claw your furniture or barf up hairballs. But he is a predator, with natural feline lust for a kill. So you never know what he might be capable of. Could be quite disturbing.

I think a couple of very kind blog regulars have purchased a copy, and thank you SO MUCH for that! And the link is right here if anyone else has an inclination to check it out: Niccolo Would Like a Word on Amazon. It's free if you have Kindle Unlimited.

Adopt me please!

So I'm currently at that awkward stage where I've already arm-twisted all my friends to buy my book. I'm now trying to persuade strangers to read it. But the odds are long, and competition is fierce, and it's a quirky book that does not fit neatly into the normal categories. It's not a book everyone will love. But it's a book some people will love, and the trick will be finding them.

It's been about 3 weeks now, and there have been some very positive developments! Also some disappointments. We'll see how it goes. Three weeks is not a long time in the life-cycle of a novel.

Oh and I've now got an author website, Jan-Graham.com, where non-existent readers can go to find out more!

Perhaps some of these nonexistant people who land there will sign up for a newsletter that at some future date will announce a new novel. And in the meantime possibly giveaways, discounts, free beta-reading opportunities, or quite possibly, nothing! If you already signed up here in the upper right-hand corner for the Just Cranky newsletter, I'll include any updates there as well. Or what the hell, make it easy for me and sign up for both.

In any event, if you click on Jan-Graham.com to check out the site, this will begin to alert The Google that the site exists. I'd like people who have actually read the novel and want to google the author to end up at my site and not that of the Other Jan Graham who writes erotic BDSM fiction.

So, what's next on the agenda?

Those of you who have watched my Online Identity Crisis unfold over these last months will probably be amused/annoyed that I can't seem to figure out what I'm doing here.

Fitness blog? Expat blog? Lifestyle blog? Miscellaneous Complaints blog? I've changed the name twice, flailing around, trying to recapture some of the fun and community we had here back in the Cranky Fitness days of yore.

I think the problem is that I'm writing for myself, and not for readers clamoring to go back to the old blogging days. I had a great excuse with the idea that it was "marketing" for an upcoming novel, but surprise, surprise: that didn't really work. And no reason it would! I didn't put in the kind of effort it would take to draw in new readers. Plus: blogging is not a Thing anymore. I knew that, but couldn't resist.

However, it's been so great to catch up with those of you who showed up, and I'm so glad I did it!

Probaby what I'll do is keep the blog up, but update only occasionaly, just to see who's still around and what you all are up to. It's actually pretty weird just how special you are to me, even though most of us have never met in person. I have so loved hearing from you! And I'm so, so grateful.

There's no point saying "goodbye," though. Because I seem to be incapable of killing this thing off completely. So I'm confident I'll be back every now and again.

Maybe I'll just say "hasta luego?"

Take care everyone!

What's In A Name?

2026-03-23T11:40:00.000-04:00

Has your name ever made your life more difficult? This seems to be my year for it!

And, on what at first might not seem a related note (but stay tuned), my new book is out! Actually, it's only available for pre-order, if you're enough of a mad risk-taker to spring for a $4.99 ebook before the reviews are in. But it's only a short wait: fully available to read in ebook format, or as a $15.99 paperback on March 28. And if you have Kindle Unlmited it's free.

More on this (much more, probably) once the book is officially launched and no one is rushing to buy it. But I thought I'd at least mention it now.

Check out the link here: Niccolo Would Like a Word on Amazon.

So why has my rather ordinary name caused me grief? And do I have crotchety observations about names in other contexts? Of course I do!

Oh joy! Endlessly Phoning Insurance Companies

This has been a confounding off-and-on battle the past couple of years, but I finally solved the mystery. Well, several mysteries:

Why was my insurance company denying all my claims, on the basis that I had co-insurance with another company, which I did not in fact have? (And how do you prove a negative? Said insurance company wouldn't let me talk to anyone straighten it out, because I couldn't access their system, because I did not actually have insurance with them).

Why were charges showing up on my Explanation of Benefits form for procedures I'd never had, at places I'd never been to? Even after I complained to said billing departments that they weren't my bills?

Well, turns out there's another Janice Graham who also lives in Massachusetts with my exact same date of birth. Not just same day and month, but same year. So my insurance problems followed me from private insurance to Medicare when we both signed up at the same time.

I happened to catch an address that showed up on some portal or another, so I copied it down and did some internet sleuthing. Found my namesake, called her up, and we had a nice chat! She'd been getting my bills too. We are in the process of trying to straighten it out, but insurance companies are not known for swiftly resolving their own errors.

Maybe years back I should have just legally changed my name to Crabby McSlacker? I can't imagine I'd be having the same problems.

Um, No, I'm Not That Jan Graham

This was fun: when you launch an Amazon book page, it generates a similar book page on Goodreads. Authors desperately crave visitors, and especially people kind enough to leave positive reviews to draw in new readers and boost their visibility. Goodreads is apparently powerful, so it's an important part of the marketing process.

So when I went to Goodreads, there was my book! Linked to author Jan Graham. Alas, not me. But she doesn't look entirely unlike me either.

As it happens, the other Jan Graham specializes in erotic BDSM fiction, and identifies as Submissive.

Not that there is anything wrong with that. Plus she probably sells way more books than I ever will.

But... would new potential readers, or even more chillingly, casual acquaintances or old friends I haven't seen in ages, or people I know only through the interwebs think "well gosh, this is an interesting side to Jan we didn't know about?"

It took a bit of doing but I have decoupled us, saving hordes of fans hungry for erotic BDSM fiction from bitter disappointment when purchasing my novel. Murderous revenge plot? Check! Adult themes? Check. Bondage and spanking? Er, no. Sorry.

Anyone Else Not Crazy About Their Name?

So I've never much liked my first name Janice

It's supposed to be pronounced the French way, like Jah-NEECE. My mother's family was from Louisiana and all spoke French. But since it's spelled Janice, it looks like it should be pronounced as JAN-iss. In any event, I've always gone by my nickname, Jan, except for a brief period of time when I had an online identity of Jamie, which I felt suited me better, but whatever. It's not impossible, but it's difficult to change your first name midlife, and I didn't have the determination to become a Jamie for real.

What's wrong with Jan/Janice? Well, nothing that dramatic. Just the strange feeling I get when I mispronounce my own legal first name as JAN-iss because it's easier for everyone that way. And the sense that my nickname adds about 10 years to my perceived age, because it was already well on the way out when I got it. It's not a classic, like Elizabeth or Katherine. Jan is the Ethel or Agnes of my generation.

The fact that the whiniest Brady was named Jan is probably not gonna bode well for any comeback.

But Here's What Helped Me Get Over It

I've met so many cool Jan's in the last couple of decades! I don't know where they were when I was younger. But there are plenty of them around now, and oddly enough, many are writers or fans of the written word.

And yeah, most of them are older than I am. But since they are not me, I can detach the name from the uncomfortable sense of me/not me, and the name suddenly becomes a simple ordinary syllable. Nothing inherently stodgy, just a sound. Not unlike John or Jim or Jane or Jay or June. Simple. Innocuous.

So Many People Have it Worse

Moon Unit and Dweezil Zappa are always the first ones to come to mind, but there are plenty of other shitty names parents give their kids. Sometimes without even realizing it! For example, the White Pages says there are at least fifteen hundred men named Michael Hunt in the U.S. But I imagine most of them avoid being called Mike. As in, picture yourself introducing your new friend to your mother: Mom, meet Mike Hunt! Similarly, the many Harold Dicks out there probably hate it when anyone shortens their name to Harry.

Many people embrace their unusual names. It hasn't hurt the Zappas. And Marijuana Pepsi Vandyck went on to write about prejudice faced by Black students with unusual names in white classrooms.

And of course there's Randy Rainbow! What a convenient handle for a brilliant gay comedian/composer.

Have any of you had problems with your name? Or run into any unusual names?