Delta Air Lines Rips Into International Association of Machinists – BNET
The IAM has postponed its representation efforts for Delta’s fleet service workers, and Delta is pissed.

United Seems to Be Closer to Buying New Aircraft – BNET
Word on the street is that United may finally pull the trigger and buy new planes. But what will they be?

getting your guests to your wedding for less – AntiBride.com
If you’re getting married, getting people out there can be pricey. Here are some tips for saving a little cash.

Therapy for delayed fliers – Houston Chronicle
A great article on using Cranky Concierge. Check it out and sign up!

Continental Airlines Revenues are 15 Percent Worse Than Last Year – BNET
October revenues are coming in, and the year-over-year comparisons look better but the numbers still look bad.

Ontario Airport’s High Costs Showcase Missed Opportunity – BNET
A followup on Ontario Airport’s high costs shows that too many employees making too much money are putting a big burden on the airport’s cost structure.

United Airlines Looks Toward Africa for Profits – BNET
United will start flying to Africa for the first time, and my guess is that it’s not because Africa is looking more interesting. It’s because the rest of the world is looking pretty bad.

So how do you get this magical book of joy? Send me your best tribute to timetables. Video? Sounds good to me. Music? Excellent. Pictures? That’ll work. How about a poem? Delightful. Just get creative and submit your best. Got pictures of you as a pudgy pre-teen? That’ll work as well . . .

Just put your masterpiece together and send it to me at cf@crankyflier.com by 1159p Pacific Time on November 15. That’ll give you two weekends to work on this. I’ll go through the entries and pick the winner within a week of the end of the contest. I’m the only judge, so this is rather informal.

Oh, and if you have a file that’s too big to send, feel free to upload to your favorite file sharing site and send me a link. Or, I can pull it down from your site (if you have one) using FTP if that’s better.

I realize this seems like a big task, so I’m curious to see how many, if any, entries I get. We’ll see how much you guys really do love timetables.

It’s very clear that this is happening because of the AirTran deal, but it’s not your traditional regional contract. Then again, it’s not exactly the “innovative” and “groundbreaking” contract that these guys are proclaiming it is. This has been done before many times. The airplanes will say SkyWest on them, but you’ll have to go to AirTran to book. It’s a lot like the deal they had with Delta back in the day.

You may remember that SkyWest was flying as Midwest Connect until Republic came in and booted them out. Like most airlines, SkyWest has more 50 seat jets lying around than they need, so they figured they could just put them back into use on routes they know and love. Only now, they’ll get passengers from AirTran instead of Midwest.

The 50 seaters will fly from Milwaukee to Akron/Canton (Jan 5), Des Moines (Feb 11), Indianapolis (Jan 5), Omaha (Feb 11), Pittsburgh (Dec 4), and St Louis (Dec 4). All of those are Midwest markets except for Akron/Canton, which is a big airport for AirTran. Nice.

Some of you may remember AirTran’s last effort to use 50 seat jets. Back in 2002, they signed a deal with Air Wisconsin to fly as AirTran Jet Connect. That ended in 2004 when the airline realized 50 seat jets didn’t make much money. Some are already saying that this won’t work this time around, but this is a totally different model. This will work out just fine for AirTran, though SkyWest might not be as thrilled.

Before, it was a capacity purchase agreement which meant that AirTran bought the seats to resell under their own name and Air Wisconsin received a guaranteed profit. Now, it’s a prorate agreement. SkyWest is flying these routes at its own risk and AirTran gets to share in the revenue. So SkyWest has a big burden here while AirTran has none.

If you listen to the AirTran pilots, this is the end of the world. Their press release says “Outsourcing: Bad for Business.” Hmm, not so sure about that. They do say that AirTran passengers expect to be flown on AirTran planes and that means XM Radio, wireless internet, and business class. Hmm, maybe, but they aren’t going to get that from Milwaukee to these cities.

Granted, Pittsburgh, Indy, and St Louis have mainline service from AirTran right now, so this tells me that those flights are really weak. It’s either a 50 seater that has a shot at making money or no service at all. I’d say it’s good for business with that perspective.

I suppose it’s AirTran’s fault that the pilots are responding this way. Back when they discontinued JetConnect, AirTran said they “could operate the Boeing 717 more efficiently than the Canadair regional jets in short-haul markets.” They may have thought that sounded good at the time, but now the AirTran pilots want them to stand by that statement.

Unfortunately for the pilots, that’s just not true. When AirTran started JetConnect, they served three cities – Pensacola, Greensboro, and Savannah. Only Pensacola is still served by AirTran today. I guess those 717s didn’t work out as well as they hoped on those lighter routes.

In my mind, this comes down to just a couple of things. SkyWest has a bunch of 50 seaters lying around and is desperate to find a home for them. AirTran wants to continue to put the squeeze on Midwest in Milwaukee. Combine the two and, voila, you have a plan.

Will this work? If I had to place bets, I’d guess no, but hey, I’ve been wrong before. If I’m AirTran, I love this deal since I have absolutely no risk and I get to strengthen my network out of Milwaukee. If I’m SkyWest, well, it’s the best I can get right now, and that’s scary.

[Updated 11/5 @ 809s to clarify that this won't be sold under the SkyWest code]

Midwest has been around for a lot longer than you might expect. The airline started out simply as the corporate shuttle for Kleenex (and other consumer products) maker Kimberley Clark after World War II. In 1969, the company decided to do more and put its corporate aircraft under the name K-C Aviation to start flying for other companies.

In 1984, the Midwest Express you’ve come to know was formed when the airline launched from under the K-C Aviation name. Midwest Express had wide leather seats and the airline served excellent meals. The airline grew up in the 1980s and actually thrived for awhile. In 2003, the name was shortened to Midwest Airlines, apparently to keep people from thinking the airline was a commuter flying puddlejumpers around the upper Midwest. (That was actually handled by SkyWay, which has since stopped flying as well.)

Midwest had been on a downhill slide for a long time. The meals were taken away, and the generous configuration was shrunk to effectively be only a first class cabin up front with normal seating behind. The only thing that really remained was the trademark cookie that is baked on-board flights.

When Northwest and TPG got together to buy Midwest instead of letting AirTran acquire the airline, CEO Tim Hoeksema was praised for “saving the cookie.” He may have saved the cookie, but it was at the expense of a lot of jobs.

I was surprised when Republic took Midwest off TPG’s hands, but now the strategy has become more clear. They want the brand but nothing else.

On November 2, Midwest Airlines Boeing 717 N920ME landed in Milwaukee at 920p Central Time after a flight from Boston. That somber occasion marked the last flight operated by Midwest Airlines. I imagine it was particularly tough for the crew on that flight – the captain has flown for Midwest for 24 years. Now there are no airplanes left to fly.

Midwest is survived by its weakened brand (operated by Republic, Chautauqua, or Frontier). It was 25 years old.

First up was Virgin America. They teamed up with Google to offer the most robust opportunity so far. Wireless connectivity will be free for anyone traveling between November 10 and January 15. Just turn on your computer and follow the instructions.

Meanwhile, American has joined with Lexus to offer free wireless as well . . . but only for a week. Lexus is promoting a new line of cars with free wifi from now through November 7. Remember, American has wifi on a lot more aircraft than Virgin America, so this is still a sizable promotion. It’s just a lot shorter. And on this one, it’s not automatically free. You have to enter code 2010LEXUSLS.

The last one I’ve seen is from AirTran. They are being a little more conservative still. The deal on AirTran is that if you pay for wifi on one flight, you’ll get a second one free. That’s probably the least attractive of the three opportunities here, but the end goal is the same.

Airlines are trying to stimulate wifi use, and really they should. Remember, once an airline hits on a great idea, the others will jump in and copy. So those airlines that have wifi now will have a limited opportunity to showcase their differentation. Eventually, everyone will have this.

Getting people to try onboard wifi is something that the airlines hope can attract people to their airline. If they’re going to do it, now is the time.

There have been plenty of different models used for private jet chartering. There’s fractional jet ownership where you actually own a piece of the plane, and there’s the pay-by-the-hour model as well. With Marquis Jet, for example, you pay $132,900 plus tax for a card worth 25 hours of flying. Yeah, that number makes me cry a little as well. In other words, you’re paying between $5,000 and $6,000 an hour.

Formerly of JetBlue, Alex Wilcox is the man behind JetSuite (conveniently similar naming convention), and I sat down to chat with him about the company in his Long Beach office. Alex explained that the hourly rate method wasn’t really the best way to charge. For example, if you fly on a 6 hour flight on Marquis Jet, you’ll pay the same as if you had 6 one hour flights on different days. The costs are a lot higher for the separate flights than for the single flight, so JetSuite has opted for this new pricing model.

On JetSuite, you buy a DayCard which costs $35,000 for 10 days or $75,000 for 25 days. Let’s say you’re too cheap so you just buy the 10 day card (um, yeah). That’ll cost you $3,500 per day and you can fly for 12 hours during the day. In addition, you pay $999 per hour of flying to pay for the variable costs of flying.

So, a 6 hour flight on a single day would cost $9,500 on JetSuite and over $30,000 on Marquis Jet. That being said, if you needed six one hour flights on separate days, you’d pay $4,500 per flight on JetSuite and $5,500 on Marquis Jet. So the real benefit with JetSuite comes if you do more flying during the day.

One other thing that helps make this work for JetSuite is the airplane they’re using. The Embraer Phenom 100 is a sweet ride with 4 or 5 seats in the back. It’s not something you’re going to see a Saudi prince riding in – the comfort is basic, but the operating costs make it a good airplane for the business. According to Alex, it only takes about 2 hours of flying per day for them to break even.

After all this talk, I was ready to see the airplane. They were launching sales officially that day, so they were flying the airplane from Long Beach down to Orange County for the launch event. Alex had business down in Orange County so he had to drive. I was invited to fly. Sweet, er, suite.

We walked downstairs to the airplane and boarded. There were four white leather seats that face each other – two forward, two backward. The airplane is small, and there isn’t a ton of legroom if the person across from you has long legs, but it’s still quite comfortable.

There was a sheet on each of our seats explaining everything about our flight that day. After a very short safety briefing, we were off. Here’s some video of our departure:

I was surprised at how relatively quiet the ride was. I figured we’d be so close to the engines that we wouldn’t be able to hear a thing, but that wasn’t the case. Embraer has made a nice little airplane here. Of course, I didn’t get to experience much of a ride. Our flight took about 15 minutes, and since Orange County was uncharacteristically landing to the north, we had a straight shot in after heading over the ocean.

I can see this being a great way to travel for someone who needs to make multiple stops throughout the day, especially if those stops don’t have direct commercial service. Right now, JetSuite is focusing its efforts on California and Las Vegas. Phoenix will be coming soon. The only real issue with the Phenom is that it doesn’t have tremendous range. You won’t be using this to go to New York, but it can have a lot of other good uses.

After getting down to Orange County and having lunch with the group (FTC disclosure: they bought my $5 lunch for me), I realized that I had to get back home. I figured, hey, there’s no better juxtaposition than to fly a corporate jet down and take public transit back. I pulled out my BlackBerry and Google Maps gave me the best transit options. I love Google Maps.

The ride down took 15 minutes. The ride back took 2.5 hours on 3 different buses on two different transit companies. But remember, that flight down would have cost me, over $1,500 while the bus ride back? Only $4.10. I suppose there can be good value for both.

[See more photos on Flickr]
[See more videos on YouTube]

Updated 11/4 @ 945a to adjust pricing on flight between Long Beach and Orange County

Ontario’s Air Traffic Glut Draws Anger Toward LA – BNET
Ontario’s traffic keeps dropping, and the solution might involve kicking LA World Airports to the curb.

Airlines Show Concerns About Winter Demand Levels – BNET
Sales are starting to come out fast and furious, and the pricepoints are low. This may be a long winter.

US Airways Walks Away From Las Vegas, Slashes Jobs – BNET
US Airways has put the final nail in the coffin in Las Vegas, but more importantly, a lot of people are losing their jobs. Not good.

JetBlue Has Big Plans for Boston – BNET
JetBlue is ramping up Boston big time. Giddyup!

Dan Webb picked up on this one in his Things in the Sky blog. Midwest has announced it will fly from Omaha to both Orlando and Tampa using Embraer 190 aircraft. You might remember seeing that Frontier will fly from Oklahoma City to Orlando and Tampa. Hmm. So here’s how the aircraft is scheduled for the Orlando run. (Tampa is virtually identical.)

Midwest Lv Omaha 750a Arr Orlando 1150a
Frontier Lv Orlando 1220p Arr Oklahoma City 215p
Frontier Lv Oklahoma City 250p Arr Orlando 630p
Midwest Lv Orlando 7p Arr Omaha 905p

Pretty crazy, right? I mean, it may make a lot of sense, but I have so many questions. I assume that they can operate both brands out of the same gate in Orlando and Tampa fairly easily, but there is still the potential for customer confusion. And what about the onboard product? If they are going to keep flipping between airlines like this, they’re going to need to seriously consider the product that they’re offering. It should require a closer standardization between Frontier and Midwest, because otherwise they could create some real customer service issues.

Also, how did they decide to make Oklahoma City on Frontier and Omaha on Midwest? I know that historically Omaha has had a decent Midwest presence, but I would hardly call it a stronghold. They’ve apparently created a line somewhere breaking up the territory, I suppose.

I must admit, it’s pretty cool to see an airline try something like this. It really does show the flexibility of brands, but it requires a certain skill when it comes to implementation. We’ll see if they can pull it off while still maintaining a good customer experience.

I like the 737 just fine, but for years it has been the stepchild of the United fleet. While other aircraft received newer, upgraded interiors, the 737s just soldiered on in a time warp. Frequent fliers hated them and their mere 8 first class seats, but they did their job, day in and day out.

So I figured, why not take the flight and remember why it’s a good thing they’re leaving the fleet? It only added to the fun when I ended up with 16B, in the middle. I thought about moving to the pain-inducing last row, but nah, this was enough.

I knew a couple people taking the flight, so three of us met up early for some In ‘n Out. It was a beautiful day in LA but it was pretty gusty and chilly. We headed over to catch our flight, but one of the guys in our group was on another airline in a different terminal. He had some time to kill, so he decided to try and get through security to join us at the gate. He flashed his boarding pass for that other airline and they let him right through without even hesitating. Nice work, TSA. Probably could have flashed a bus pass.

The gate area was full of really happy people, most of them airline dorks or employees. They had a small spread set up with drinks and cookies, and they had roped off the gate area so people could spread out. This flight was not only the last 737 flight in United colors, but it was also the retirement flight for the captain. There was a lot of celebrating to do.

This particular 737 looked resplendent in the new United colors (at least on the outside). It spent the day flying across the country touching all United hubs. It started in Washington and went to Chicago, Denver, and then LA. It’s only fitting that the airplane ended on one of the old United Shuttle routes. LAX to SFO.

We all boarded the airplane and everyone had a flight certificate at our seats in the old, old interiors. There were cameras flashing everywhere, and I have to imagine that some of the people who didn’t know they were getting on this flight were just taken aback.

The first officer was on the radio and Channel 9 (which lets you listen to cockpit communications) was on. We taxied out and took off into the chop. Once above it, the flight attendants were allowed to get up and serve. One of the agents started on the 737 thirty nine years ago and she was excellent throughout the flight.

I listened to Channel 9 and heard pilots and controllers alike ask whether this was the last flight. When not talking to ATC, the first officer was telling us not to worry when we saw a bunch of fire trucks waiting for us. The captain was having a water cannon salute for his retirement.

Halfway through the flight, the awards started. They asked everyone who was a Flyertalk member to ring their call buttons. I couldn’t count the number that went off. They handed out signed copies of the flight plan to all those who rang their call buttons. They also recognized a guy who has flown 1.3 million miles this year lifetime and another who has 31 flights between LA and SF this year.

We started our descent and as our first officer checked in with Norcal Approach, there was a great exchange. (Trying to remember this as best I can.)

FO: Norcal Approach, United 737 level at 200
ATC: United 737, expect holding for 45 minutes at [SKUNK?]
FO: *pause* Ohhh-K
ATC: Just kidding, thought you’d want to hear that one more time. There are no delays
FO: I wish the captain had the mike so you could hear what he just said

Did I mention I love Channel 9?

We landed and everyone cheered. Then we went taxied in and the captain received his water cannon salute (see video below). I was struck by the sheer number of United employees lining the ramp as we pulled forward. There were baggage handlers in their carts, customer service reps, flight crews, and more. It was really a nice showing. The seatbelt sign went off, and after one last cheer, it was time to get off.

There was only one problem. Nobody really wanted to get off (except me apparently) because it took forever. People just started writing on tray tables and taking whatever they could find. Apparently, they were taking anything that wasn’t an actual part of the airplane. I mean, they were taking exit signs and even flight attendant call buttons. United spokesperson Robin Urbanski seemed concerned about this since it’s a leased airplane. (Oops.)

Once in the gate area, there were a lot of people waiting for the captain to deplane. Finally, he got off, gave a nice short speech and there was cake for anyone who wanted it. It was just a really nice, heartfelt outpouring.

I skipped the cake because they specifically positioned a new A320 conversion from Ted next door. Not having been on one yet, I was curious. The interior is light years ahead of the 737, as you can see as left and the new leather smell still wafted through the plane. It was a really nice contrast, but we had to get off quickly unless we wanted to go to Denver. I didn’t.

One of my friends happened to be landing just before we did, so we went and had a beer before I realized my flight was leaving in 15 minutes. I walked right on and then found myself stopped in the jet bridge.

This airplane was boarding painfully slowly. I finally found my window seat in row 29 and was happy to find an empty middle.

Thanks to some diligent flight attendants, we pushed back a little early despite the pokey passengers boarding for our very short 51 minute flight. Those north winds that slowed us down coming up gave us a nice boost going back.

There was a little bit of chop most of the way down, but it wasn’t a big deal at all. The flight attendants were in a good mood and walked up and down the aisle quickly to try to serve drinks. We had beautiful views, and really the only thing that wasn’t perfect was that Channel 9 was off. I really can’t fault the captain for that one. He tried to pipe in the World Series over Channel 9. Unfortunately it ended up sounding like the teacher from the Peanuts cartoons, but it was a nice effort.

Overall it was a great trip on United. Like I said, it’s nice to have trips like these to help you remember that there are some really good people working at United. And now they won’t have to deal with the 737 any more. Sort of.

While it may be gone from service, it is still haunting me. Take a look at the seat cushion on my 757 flight home.

[See all my United 737 Retirement Flight photos on Flickr]
[See all my United 737 Retirement Flight videos on YouTube]

One of my oldest friends is in the Army and he’s currently living in Europe. His parents came out to visit him, but his mother was staying longer to visit family. So, his elderly father was flying back alone to Los Angeles via Munich on Lufthansa. Now, his father is really getting up there in years, and he somehow left his keys to the house at my friend’s place. Uh oh.

My friend was naturally concerned that his cell-phone-less father would be confused and possibly lost once he realized he couldn’t get in to this house, but he was already on the long flight back to LA. My friend simply wanted to get a message to his father telling him to call him or his brother so they could explain and help him. It seems like a small request, but it can often be difficult to get messages to people on airplanes.

I volunteered to email a contact at Lufthansa to see if they were able to deliver messages upon arrival. He said that they certainly could and that he would get back to me. Sure enough, Lufthansa staff in LA met the aircraft and had my friend’s father make the phone call. They then escorted him to the shuttle he was taking back to his home.

I know that the first comment will likely be that this only happened because I asked a connection and that a regular traveler wouldn’t be able to get this done. There’s no doubt in my mind that helped, but I’m not so sure that this wouldn’t have happened without me. My contact forwarded me the email correspondence he had with the LA folks, and he wasn’t asking for special treatment. They seemed to be more than happy to help out and definitely went above and beyond. I imagine they would have done the same had the request come from a reservations agent.

I don’t often write about Lufthansa, and they certainly wouldn’t have expected me to write about this, so I would like to think that it was just some good old-fashioned customer service. Just thought it would be nice to bask in the glow of a nice story.

I’ll be back tomorrow with my report on United’s 737 retirement.