Crap My Dad Says

On beer

2012-01-07T00:49:00.001-08:00

Bud light. Miller. Pbr. American beer. All taste like piss. I dont know how they keep selling this shit.

Drunk

2012-01-01T00:06:00.001-08:00

Flizerguners glibbersnaw hahaha pansyfart

That damn thinger

2011-12-27T10:14:00.001-08:00

Thinger is what he calls any tool or thingamabob he can't name.

"Hey grandpa, hand me that thinger."
Then he gets mad and all frustrated when grandpa grabbed the wrong tool.
"NO. That thinger!"

My dads version of "getting ready"

2011-12-22T09:28:00.001-08:00

Go upstairs to take a dump.
Tuck America shirt in to blue jeans.
Put on ball cap to cover greasy balding head.
Lace up NBalances.
Flatten mustache.
Walk out of the house.

Views On American Flag Pants

2011-12-19T17:46:00.000-08:00

Dad: "I WOULD WEAR THOSE FUCKING THINGS TO CHURCH."

Me: "I've just ordered you a pair from Amazon."

Watching TV, Commercial for Droid comes on

2011-12-18T23:27:00.000-08:00

Me: "Yeah I got this sweet app called Sleep Cycle. It wakes me up when I'm ready to wake up or something like that"

Dad: "I got this new app. It blows me."

First Post

2011-12-18T23:18:00.000-08:00

This blog is going to be all sorts of weird thing my half drunken father yells at the tv, my mom, my dogs, or me. Simple as that. You'll soon see how damned funny this gets. Every night its the same thing!