Crayons & Finger Paints

I love you most of all

2012-05-19T07:11:00.004-04:00

I love you in the morning, before darkness turns to day

The beauty of your sunrise, takes my breath away

I love you in the afternoon when sun warms up my skin

I love to hear your birds as they cherish the world they're in

I love you in the evening when darkness returns to nest

The gift of another quiet time when I can go to rest

I love you on a summer's day when I picnic in the park

The warmth of a summer's evening as I visit you in the dark

I love you in the autumn with leaves of gold and yellow

The crisp cool air brings warmer clothes and I begin to mellow

I love you in the winter when snow blankets the ground

Soft wet flakes cover the world and never make a sound

I love you on a spring day the smell of fresh cut grass

You pour a blanket of flowers that perfume me at last

When thunder rolls and lightening lights the sky

I love your creative artwork for such a one as I

I love to hear the raindrops as they splatter on wet leaves

The sound of creatures calling out, frogs and birds and bees

I love you in times of laughter and special time with friends

You've taught me to enjoy all things as your love never ends

So, in times of dark and cold despair I fear no chance of fall

For I am still your child oh Lord, I love you most of all

Jonah and the whale...a lesson in obedience

2012-05-18T12:51:00.002-04:00

How do you stop the raindrops

2012-05-03T08:01:00.002-04:00

How do you stop the rain from falling on pastures green?
How can my heart keep calling, to one who is unseen?
I hear your voice and touch your face when others barely see
The most beautiful sound I've ever heard is when you speak to me.

Your power and your glory, too awesome for my mind
Yet, in the midst of amazing strength, your gentleness I find
The most intricate of flowers, born from your very hand
I see your bright creations all through this troubled land

The one who has the power to take me to heaven one day
Surely can hold this captive heart and care for me today
A virgin birth in Bethlehem is believed without a doubt
Yet for the every day affairs, we think you won't carry out

To not know of our tomorrows, to have faith in just your name
Comes from memories of you, and I marvel just the same
The wonders of what you've done before are still before me now
It gives me hope of my tomorrows without me knowing how

For I can't fathem how you stop the rain from falling on pastures green
Nor can I imagine why you've made flowers with fragrance yet unseen
My eyes still fail to grasp the ' how' of all you do
But, I'll not waste a moment's peace that I receive from you

Introducing 'Olivia's Corner' Children's Videos

2012-05-01T17:16:00.001-04:00

God is always about a new thing. Change is the only thing we can count on with God...and He never changes. This past month the Lord has spoken to me about the use of videos to help little children learn about the bible So far, I have put two videos on this blog. I have incorrporated my pet
'Sugar' the lovebird as I simply sit in my favorite rocking chair and give a 3-4 minute story. This is not rocket science folks. After a few minutes the attention span of a child wanders. Yet, they love animals and my lovebird is not camera shy. I'm praying God will be magnified as His story goes around the world. 'Sugar' and I are not the star of this blog, we are simply tools. What tools or talents has God given you to magnify Him? Go on, use it for His glory! God loves to use the things that are not to confound the wise. I do not know how often I will tell a story. I've learned a long time ago not to set limits with God. One thing I do know, if God can use a simple Gramma like me...you have endless possibilities!! I have named this little project after my grand daughter. 'Olivia's Corner'!

Pasta Sauce with Italian Dressing

2012-05-01T16:07:00.003-04:00

Mystery Marinara Sauce

I resurrected this recipe from when I first got married. I came up with it when I was just 18 and did not have anything to make spaghetti sauce. Not many seasonings in the house but a lot of nerve!

1 can of tomato soup

1 soup can of water

1 large can of diced tomatoes

1 teaspoon oregano

1 diced clove of garlic

1 diced onion

¼ cup of regular Italian salad dressing

salt and pepper to taste [as much as tastes good to you]

½ teaspoon of sugar to cut the acid

I fry up ½ pound ground meant [beef, or turkey] and put in the crock pot with the above ingredients.

If you have peppers of any color, you can add them too. I serve with pasta, but you can also serve over rice.

A thankful heart is always a Joyful heart

2012-04-28T07:35:00.001-04:00

Living close to a wooded area has many advantages. The sound of all sorts of tropical birds awaken me and I draw to my patio with my own pet Sugar. Sugar is a lovebird who is in the parrot family. She needs a lot of attention and as I type, she sits on my shoulder or trys to flutter down to the keyboard.

I always let her out for a small amount of time each day. At times, getting her back to her cage is a problem though. Yet, each day we hear the rustling of the trees and the screech of the turkey vultures or the peep of the cardinals. I see raccoons come out of woods at times. On occasion I even spy a armadillo or two. A few cats wander by and I am glad for the screens as they might decide Sugar is a good idea for breakfast.

The life of a Christian is not without it's moments of trial. The Lord uses that time to stretch our faith much like my pet Sugar stretches her wings. Yet, we are reminded of our own inability to fly alone. We are safe within the boundaries that our Lord sets for us. In Psalm 23 it says 'thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.' If you know what the rod and the staff are used for, it can be a puzzle. The shepherd uses those tools to poke and prod the sheep to remain within the boundaries. They are free to graze and live in comfort while within those boundaries. Yet, often they are led off into the wilderness where a lion or bear could consume them.

They hate to be sheered. They will balk when it's time to have their hair cut. We too hate it when the Lord removes things from us. Yet, at times we need to be pruned in order that we may grow healthy. Years ago when I left NY to come to Florida I sold or gave away everything I owned. We traveled with our few possesions with a small van. It was a pruning time and yet we found what we truly needed what forever within our grasp.

We learned what we could live without and how to live within the boundaries that God set before us. That does not mean we develop a poverty mentality and never give to others. It simply means that we are free to enjoy all that the Lord has to give us according to His riches and glory. Not according to our own fluttering and looking for things on our own. We are learning the value system in a whole new way.

I find myself thanking the Lord for the beauty of each day whether it be stormy or sunshine. A thankful heart lacks very little. A heart that seeks what others have, seldom is filled with joy however. As the birds chirp and enjoy the day, so I will be thankful and continue to pray.

Noah's Ark

2012-04-24T19:17:00.002-04:00

Easy Rice Pudding from scratch

2012-04-20T11:21:00.002-04:00

I love recipes that are simple and this could not be any easier. This is an old fashioned dessert that I love to eat cold or warm. It makes four servings.

You will need

2 ½ cups milk

1/3 cup rice

1/8 tsp salt

1/3 cup brown sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

½ teaspoon cinnamon

pinch of nutmeg

1/3 cup raisins

In a large saucepan combine milk, rice and salt. Bring to boil and then reduce heat to simmer for about 15-20 minutes to allow rice to cook. I do not cover the pot with this one as I try to pay attention to stirring.

Stir, don't let rice stick to the bottom.

In another bowl mix brown sugar,egg with a whisk. Add raisins a little at a time. Add this to saucepan when rice is tender. Let it simmer for 10 minutes. Add vanilla, cinnamon and pinch of nutmeg.

Can be served warm or cold.

Children's bible story

2012-04-19T13:45:00.000-04:00

Don't Forget

2012-04-18T13:30:00.000-04:00

Check

Life is seldom dull for the middle aged couple as they love to be on the go. Sometimes though, they forget little things in their rush to to get to their destinations.

They were stopped once when a policemen saw Shermy was driving without his seatbelt on. Later, upon checking his driver's license and registration...Shermy realized he hadn't put his new registration papers in the car...as well as not having his wallet with his driver's license.

Each time they went to the door, Weezy would ask Shermy 'Do you have …?'

One afternoon they had gone to a restaurant and finished their meal only to realize that neither had their wallets. A red faced couple explained what happened and went home to grab their wallet and returned promptly to pay the bill.

Shermy works in the plant section of a local hardware chain. He came home soaking wet a few times so Weezy made him take an extra shirt...just in case.

Another time, Weezy tried to reach her husband several times only to find his cell phone going to voice mail. He had forgotten to turn it on. Yet another time, it sounded off on the dresser and Weezy frowned as she realized Shermy hadn't remembered to bring it at all.

Shermy phoned home a week later on his lunch break complaining of pain. 'Did you take that new medicine the doctor ordered? You're supposed to take it three times a day.' Silence. 'You forgot it didn't you?'

'Yes.' Shermy replied.

One day Shermy was tired of his wife's constant reminders. 'Look, will you quit that? I don't forget my wallet anymore.'

Weezy made a mental note not to nag.

The weather was pleasant one afternoon and Shermy wanted to try out a new pizza establishment. The two got ready and headed out for this new restaurant. Shermy was slowly parking the car and looked over at his wife. 'We have to go back. I forgot my wallet.'

The urge to say something singed Weezy's tongue. She smiled and said 'Oh.'

Two days later Weezy took one of her index cards out and made a check list.

wallet

watch

glasses or sunglasses

pain medicine

rain gear

extra shirt

important documents

'What's that?' Shermy asked.

'It's a check list for us to look at before we go somewhere.'

Shermy began to laugh.

'I just hope I remember to have you look at it.' Weezy mumbled.

Psalm 103:2 'Praise the Lord oh my soul; and forget not all his benefits....'

Ramifications of legalised pot

2012-03-29T14:57:00.001-04:00

'Have you ever thought of the ramifications when pot is legalized Shermy?' Weezy put down her crocheting and looked across the room where Shermy was reclined on the sofa.

Shermy stopped channel surfing with the remote and said 'Huh? Where did that come from?'

'Well, I was listening to the history channel and they talked about how marijuana might be legalized soon. What will all those pot dealers do? It's not like they can apply for unemployment...'

Shermy laughed. 'So now your concerned about the illegal drug dealers?'

'Well, not that. There are just a lot of things I wonder about. I mean how are they going to advertise this stuff? Remember those ugly ads on the new cigarette packages? Are they going to put nasty pictures of potheads on the packages?'

Shermy continued to snicker. 'The surgeon general will have to warn folks somehow. I'm sure there are side effects. Besides, I am sure they will sell them in pouches like they do chewing tobacco or something.'

“No more knickel bags?' asked Weezy

'Knickel bags? Since when do you know anything about that? You can't even stand the smell of a cigar. You get high when they repave the roads!'

Weezy laughed. 'Well, I know some things. I remember '4:19 got a minute?'

'Yeah?' Sherm stopped and looked over at her. 'So what's it mean?'

'Well, 4:20 is 'Stoner's' time.'

'Oh really!'

'Yes Shermy, that's the international code for smoking dope!'

Sherm shook his head. 'How did I ever live with such a worldly woman!'

'Well, they will prob. Have the pot behind the counters like they do the cigarettes and cough syrup when it gets legalized.'

Shermy began to laugh again. 'Yeah, all that cough syrup with codeine and nicotine and now marijuanna back there. Those pharmacists will have to really stand guard.'

'Do you think folks will be growing their own now?'

Shermy thought for a moment. 'Well, if it's legal. It depends on the new laws. You planning to try a new crop?'

'No silly! I have a hard enough time getting the petunias to grow! I want no part of that! I need to keep the brain cells I have left!' Weezy looked down and kept crocheting. All was quiet for a while.

Then, Weezy spoke again. 'I remember when they taught us about prohibition in school. All those corn liquor stills in the woods came out then. Some of that stuff was deadly if drank. I remember hearing about some of our own family in the moon shine business.'

'Well, at the price of cigarettes and liquor these days, I can't imagine pot being cheap even if it's legal. Our government will want a hefty chunk of the profits.'

'Yeah, they'll want to have first dibs. I wonder why they nick named it 'pot' anyhow? I mean when I think of the word I think of 'potty' like a toilet or something.

Sherm laughed. 'Yeah, I can't wait to see the new term for it. They'll have a long handle on the bottle or pouch. I can't see the same ads that were used for cigarettes though. Can you imagine a cowboy smoking a joint as he rides off into the sunset? Or, a guy with a black eye who would rather fight than switch? Oh wait, that is on the six o clock news.'

'Nah' said Weezy. 'I can see ads like the ones that tell you how you can sue if after using this product you had a bunch of symptoms that they will name. Then we'll have price wars and folks will go back to buying it on the black market.'

'Oh Weezy!'

'Well, we still have moon shine!'

'Not in this house!'

'Just remember Shermy, it's not the product that is a sin. It's man's use of it. If we put anything up as an idol above God than it is sin. If we become addicts, we do that to ourselves. We are not born addicts. It is not a disease like multiple sclerosis.'

Shermy nodded his head. 'It's all about choices. The Lord gave us a free will to make our choices. He set before us life and death and said...'Choose life!' Pot could have been the Lord's creation for health and we got stupid and burned it in cigarettes instead. Can you just imagine? Think of how the angels could have been shaking their heads at us if we smoked aloe instead of applying it on burns.'

'Well, remember when our kids once rolled my herbal tea leaves up and tried to smoke them? Ruined a perfectly good cup of tea!'

I Corinthians 6:19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

For everything there is a season...

2012-03-12T12:36:00.000-04:00

The other day I was talking to my daughter about changes in our life. Young people can never look through the eyes of an older person because they are not in the same season. Older people find it difficult to understand the young because they are from a different season.

It's very important for us to know what season we are in. I'm not referring to winter, summer, spring or fall. As Christians we go through many seasons of our life as well. If you do not recognize what season you are in, you might hurry to get ahead of it. It's a useless waste of energy to try to get ahead of the Lord.

You see, He directs the seasons in which we live. As a new mom I was excited to see how fast my children could walk or talk. Then, I wished they would remain babies for a little longer.

Preschoolers can't wait to go to school until they find out what it means. Later, children can't wait to be teenagers. Teens wish for the time of their independence only to find that after the time of independence, they still need help.

Growing older is still the same. Young moms can't wait for school to begin. It seems like they are stuck in diaper land forever. Then, without realizing where the time has gone...they are watching college kids turn into married adults.

Throughout life we often go through growing stages and times of hardships as well. Yet, those times need not be hurried. The Lord's timing is seldom ours. What we search for is an end to the trials of whatever season we are in. Yet, we sometimes fail to see the wonderful experiences along the way.

I wonder if the Israelite s ever talked about their times in the desert with any wonder? I suspect they did relish the end of the forty years. However, I wouldn't be surprised to find some longing for 'the good olde days'.

The bible says there is nothing new under the sun. The seasons we go through may seem new to us with new technology spicing things in a different way. Yet, God is not surprised at any of this. His plan is to bring us through all seasons and help us to not depend on anything except Him.

When I find I am going around and around the same thing, its usually because I haven't learned the lesson God lay before me yet. Those seasons of our life that seem like a desert might be the place where grow in patience. That patience may help us grow in endurance. The next season might have many trials yet we might not be bothered as much because of the experience we had. As we learn to respond God's way in each season of our life, the stress of tomorrow does not seem so hard to take.

What season of your life are you in today? Is it a season of plenty? Then, it is time to be a giver and be wise with God has blessed you with. Are you in a season of want? Perhaps it is time to be creative with what you have and learn thankfulness. Are you in a season of mourning? God wants you to feel His comfort.

One thing is absolute with those who trust in the Lord. Joy is never lost depending on what season we are in. The joy of the Lord is our strength.

Focus on Him in whatever season. Never focus on the problem, consider that as just a building block to your character. We have a choice when going through all of the seasons of life. We can choose to be bitter, or we can choose to allow God to make us better as He walks us through it.

As we think of seasons, I think of the word 'seasonings'. My life has been spiced by the circumstances and people in my life. I do not thank God for illness or bad things that He did not give. Yet, I than Him for allowing me to grow as I walked through the season. Through each storm, and as I climbed each mountain...I will yet praise Him.

Ecclesiastes 3:8

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”

Easy Chicken Jambalaya with Canned Chicken

2012-02-27T12:38:00.000-05:00

It is a breezy warm day here in sunny Florida. I enjoyed the sun all morning. So, what am I doing now? I am making Chicken Jambalaya! I looked over several recipes and came up with my own. My husband had it for his lunch and said it is delicious. It is spicy!

2 cups of canned chicken or one chicken breast cooked and cubed

½ cup of chopped onion

½ cup of chopped green pepper

1 chopped clove of garlic

2 tablespoons of butter

2 cups of salsa

small jar of green chiles

3 cups of chicken broth

2 cups of water

2/3 cup uncooked rice

1 teaspoon cumin

2 tablespoons hot sauce

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon pepper

1 can mixed vegetables

several drops of hot sauce or in my case...hot spices

This was so easy and fun to make! Just toss everything in a large kettle. First, I usually have my own chicken broth in freezer so I just took it out. Melt butter with chopped vegetables [onion, green pepper, garlic] until tender on medium heat.

Add chicken broth, salsa, water and spices. Stir well and add Chicken and uncooked rice. Turn up heat until it comes to a boil. Then, cover and turn it down to simmer for twenty minutes or until rice is tender.

Jeff likes it with home made bread.

How Do YOU Rate with Your Siblings?

2012-02-25T10:15:00.000-05:00

From the beginning of time God wanted us to be in families. 'Be fruitful and multiply' he said. Yet, right from the start of the first family there was jealousy and even murder. Cain and Abel.

My sisters and I are middle aged now and approaching SSI checks. We have come into agreement after years of competition, jealousy and a need to be in control. That is not to say we are clones of one another. Certainly not. Yet, it is an amazing thing when siblings come together in peace.

Our family is not so unusual from those in the bible. I am blessed to have all sorts of sisters. One older brother too. I have half sisters and step sister. In a vase of flowers we are all different flowers. Such a beautiful bouquet and yet...

Years ago the oldest child became the heir. He was the one who was supposed to look after the rest while handling all the funds. Jealousy frequently arose over this.

Now days, the older ones are still expected to look after their younger siblings. Yet, this caused much rebellion as I grew up. Remember the old saying 'Your not my boss!'

Many studies have gone on to investigate the middle child syndrome as well. They are the ones trying to make peace in the family.

Then there is the youngest child who gets spoiled. Personally I was never the oldest, the middle or the youngest. I was second from the youngest.

As I look at the families of the bible I see where Moses was not the oldest child. David was the youngest child. Of the twelve tribes of Israel...Jesus did not come from the oldest of the tribe. He was from the tribe of Judah. Judah was the fourth son of Jacob...renamed Israel. Jacob was the second son.

The need to compete always fascinated me. What exactly are we siblings competing for? The love of the parent? It is true that some parents do have favorites. Yet, even if they do not...I see siblings competing to be the best, prettiest, smartest, and richest. You have seen it too I am sure.

Different passions rest in each of us. For a family it is evident when one sibling has a passion for one thing. In my family we have contributed artists, musicians, evangelists, writers, cooks, health care providers, farmers, postal carrier, seamstresses, and many of us do crafts. The many talents and giftings are too long to mention with such a group of eight.

There were years of emotional battles as well. A difference of opinion rose to a feud. Silence ensued. A small candle burned in the darkness throughout those years though. It grew to a shining light. Revelation came in the form of God's word.

We learned to stop competing. We learned to stop trying to one up the other. We learned to turn jealousy into praise for another's accomplishment. We found out who we were in Christ. You see, once a person has a personal relationship with God, he does not need to find a special place in the competition for greatness. Our eyes turned upward rather than inward. The focus was not on ourselves anymore. No need to compete.

In His eyes, we are his favorite. We are all his favorite. As we look through the bible we find a love letter from the father.

Isaiah 49:1 'Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations: Before I was born the Lord called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name.'

Now skip ahead to Jeremiah 1:5 ' Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..'

As long as there are two people on the earth, there will be two different opinions. Yet, God has a plan for families. His word is simple 'love one another'

To do that, we must make short accounts. If a sibling has a disagreement that leads to strife...do not waste time but make amends. Keep the lines of communication open. You do not have to compromise who you are, or the word of God to do this. We can walk away knowing we are right, and still love our brother. So often, the idea is to be the one who has the right answer.

The idea has to be, we are the one who loves. Love is patient, love is kind, it keeps no record of wrongs, it delights in the truth, love is not rude, …

The years have passed and the problems have come and gone. The family of siblings that I belong to is blessed in deed. It did not come through a forceful attitude. It came through forgiveness and putting away jealousy and gossip. We put away our need to be on top. We took on the garment of praise. I get a phone call from time to time from a sibling telling me a positive thing. I have made some adjustments too. I take the time to send an email, make a call or just keep communications open to praise them and love them as much as I can.

Life is short and what is left unsaid today may never be recaptured tomorrow. Hurts of yesterday are best healed by a simple act of forgiveness. Taking a quick offense is putting up a wall between sisters and brothers. That wall gets bigger as time goes by. Believe me, I know.

If we siblings can agree on one good thing it is this.... LOVE is stronger than any force the devil can throw at us. A strong will to be rebellious is useless against a loving heart. The meek are not weak. In fact, it takes a great deal of strength to overcome sarcasm, prejudice, jealousy, belittlement, evil doings and strife with love. Yet, it is not our own human love that is involved here. No, we sisters and brother have discovered that the love of God out shines and outlasts what the world calls love. It is the strongest power.

For some us we need to remove the garment of dictatorship. It does not fit you anyways. You can not dictate to your siblings anything but love. You can not show love through a garment of control.

For some we need to remove the garment of people pleasing. It is too small. You need to exchange it for a garment of praise which is pleasing to God. He is the only one you need to please.

For some we need to take off the competition robe. No matter how much you try, you can never be more than who God created you to be. The robe you wear is tight at times, and too loose on others. Let it slide off and take on the garment of joy. We can be joyful knowing He loves us as we are. If we need any changing, He will do it.

For some, we need to remove the garment of shame. It is too heavy and it does not belong to you. God does not give us a garment of shame. He lifts it off and replaces it with a garment of freedom. Freedom to be who he created us to be.

For some, we need to remove the garment of unforgiveness. If you are constantly remembering to hold grudges, and finding others faults, and never seeing your idea of justice...you are becoming bitter in your own resentment. Take the garment off and put on the garment of forgiveness. It is a light garment and you will find you can stand straighter. People die from the resentment, unforgiveness, and bitterness of heart.

For some it will mean taking off the garment of pride and taking on a humble garment. Pride puffed up is so ugly. Yet humility when it is true, is a beautiful thing.

We siblings all have a special place in our family's garden. There are problems, but attached to each thorn is a lovely rose.

We have grown to enjoy our differences. Though we have not all been together in body for years, we stand together in the spirit of love. How do we all rate? We are all God's favorites.

You can do it! In fact, I believe you can do it better than we did.

Push that Button...

2012-02-21T12:31:00.002-05:00

They had traded their truck for a car that would be better on gas. 'It gets 30 miles per gallon!' Shermy announced loudly over the sound of the stereo.

Shermy and Weez were riding down the road in their shiny red sports car. Shermy had put the top down and they enjoyed the warm Florida breeze as palm trees quickly passed them by. They were in no particular hurry with no particular place to go.

The used car was bought earlier that day. The middle aged couple laughed like children as Shermy tried to figure out the radio. It turned on, then disappeared. It wasn't the original radio Weezy thought. It looked several years beyond the year of the sports car.

The switches were fumbled with by Shermy for about ten minutes. 'Can't figure out how to turn it off.' He said.

Meanwhile, Weezy noticed that the Mazda Miata was so low to the ground that she could see her reflection in the truck's chrome bumper ahead of her. She fixed her hair and laughed. 'I think we just downsized again!' The car was a two seater with a mini trunk. 'Look, I can see his muffler!'

They stopped at a red light and Shermy continued to fumble with the radio. 'Huh? Oh yes, downsized!'

Weezy laughed. 'We won't be able to offer anyone a ride these days either.'

Another few minutes and Shermy alternated from down shifting to trying to figure out his radio.

'There must be a way to shut it off.' he muttered.

Weezy smiled and pointed to a tiny button she'd noticed a while ago. 'You should try that OFF button over there.'

Shermy pushed the button and silence ensued. 'How did you know that'

'Oh, I don't know. Maybe God told me. Turn it back on now Shermy, I was listening to the music.'

The sun was shining, they could smell the restaurant food as they drove by, and the sound of the oldies channel filled the air. Shermy gazed over at the radio a few times and then shook his head.

Are You Being Rude to your Children?

2012-02-16T09:56:00.003-05:00

Are you being rude to your children?

The world is quite a stressful place. Children are not able to grasp why adults are so busy. Yet, they do understand when they are put on the back burner. How often have you told your children to 'go play' as you talk to a friend about a situation. They go find something to do for a short while and then come back to you.

'Didn't I tell you to go play?' is a term often used at this time. The child turns around to find something else to do but overhears you speaking about them. If you overheard someone speaking about your behavior in a negative way, you would be highly offended. It would be a rudeness that you would not soon forget. Yet, why is it all right to talk about your children who are only ten feet away from you?

If you were excited about something and phoned a friend, how would you feel if they said.. 'That's nice honey, I'm busy right now?'

Often times adults are speaking and a child has no idea what they are talking about. If they ask 'who is that Mommy?', how do you reply? I've often heard adults say 'this is grown up talk'. Now, stop and think about how rude that feels? Let's say you are in a group setting and the conversation goes to a subject that you do not understand. You ask politely, 'what are you talking about?' How would you feel if they answered 'this is confidential and not meant for your ears'. You would feel left out wouldn't you? A better way to handle delicate conversation with our children is to make sure we are not gossiping. If it is an important conversation meant for adults only, keep it out of your children's earshot.

When someone is upset and then takes it out on you, you get very upset. Yet, how often do we adults react badly to our children when we are tired or upset. Little children are still in need of attention and guidance even when your car crashes, or you get fired. A screaming answer to them does nothing but frighten them. After a while, they get used to the snarl and their hearts harden to it. Their heart then hardens to many other things as well. As they grow, you will be distant.

When you make a mistake at work or with another adult, they might ask you 'Why did you do that?' Yet, children seldom know why they do anything. A better question is 'What did you do?' Then, explain why that was wrong. You need not tell everyone what they did though. Embarrassing a child is just as bad as someone embarrassing you. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

We hate it when someone brings up the past mistakes of our past. It isn't right to do that to our children either. We teach our children to hold grudges when we constantly throw their past mistakes up in their faces. We teach our children to forgive when we encourage them with love.

Your words can be building blocks to character or a demolition crew to our children's hearts. What you say in the heat of anger can not be erased from our children's memory very quickly. Speak to your child with the same respect you want to be spoken to.

Our children are not toys, or objects for us to use. They are young people who the Lord loves as much as the adult. We are given a gift of children. Their free spirit of creativity is a joy in any household. They need nurturing and constant care. It can be tiring and often demanding. Yet, we can reign in our emotions and guide them with the love that was given to us so freely.

Jesus was never rude to a child. He made time for them amidst a busy ministry. As my children have grown into adulthood, I have grown as well.

I was not the perfect parent and in fact failed at it many times. Yet, God is never unwilling to teach us to be better parents. I do not always agree with all they think and do. Yet, rather than be rude...I have learned to let love be the first emotion.

Our children need affirmation and approval just as much when they are 50 as they did when 5 yrs old.

I Corinthians 13:4-8' Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...'

Your tongue is in a battle

2012-02-09T06:37:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning talking to the Lord as usual. No, I am not bragging. I always have something to say and so my day usually begins with talking to my Lord. 'I love you Lord' should be the first words out of everyone's mouth or thought as they emerge from a sleeping state to a waking state.

After that, we should begin to thank him for little things. Waking up would be a good start. My favorite time of day is morning so I am always thankful for quiet times. The coffee maker worked so that goes on the list.

As I sit nestled in my favorite comfy chair I thank him for it. I go through my twitter and facebook pages to see if there is any prayer needed. I always find things.

One subject popped out at me. The battle of the tongue. I am always amazed when I read how folks are proud to be part of a particular church and sing in the choir, yet write swear words on the internet. Or, they profess to be a Christian and live like hell.

James 1:26 'If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.'

It just doesn't get any plainer than that. Yet, the bible speaks of the tongue many times. In fact, James goes on in chapter 3 speaking of taming the tongue. Verse 9 'With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's image. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers , this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from he same spring?'

Life is filled with choices. We choose what we speak as well. Our choice of words is important. So also is the way we listen to the word of God. Jesus didn't speak for something to do. His word was life. It brings healing and peace, joy and more. If we are to be like Jesus our words must take the shape of what He spoke.

After all, you who say you are a Christian...should not your words sound like Christ's?

Your computer or Mine?

2012-02-07T20:16:00.000-05:00

Shermy and Weezy try to keep up with the times. Weezy lets Sherm keep control of the tv remote. He channel surfs and ends up asking her what to watch anyway.

Weezy doesn't like talking on the phone much so she has no cell phone. Shermy just found out how to download photos with his. 'Hey look Weezy, I can do all sorts of things with this. I just have to learn how.'

Weezy enjoys her mini laptop while Shermy does his own thing with another computer. Weezy sat reading her facebook and sudddenly a mysterious message appeared.

'I wonder if I can get some coffee?'

She promptly asked herself...'Does he want it next to his computer or mine?'

They ended up drinking it in the living room in front of their flat screen television, watching some old movie they never heard of.

...the Lord blesses his people with peace

2012-02-06T06:54:00.004-05:00

Psalm 29:11 “ The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace. “

Early in the morning I was sitting on the patio in the dark with a cup of coffee. I was reminded of the conversation I'd had with my husband about peace. It has always been amazing to me that no matter where we lived in the past 36 years of marriage, God has always provided a peaceful home.

Our first home was a trailer that belonged to his parents. Jeff put up Z-Brick on the walls of the kitchen and made it look cozy. I was just learning to cook back then and was so overwhelmed with a new baby coming that I didn't really appreciate how the Lord had watched out for us back then.

We soon moved to an older home where my husband got the itch to fix up the kitchen walls again. We had no tools but somehow he managed to pu t up light blue and tan paneling with a hammer and screwdriver. We had a lot of compliments back then. The home was furnished and I enjoyed keeping house with a baby and one on the way.

A few years down the road we were in a three bedroom apartment. Once again my husband's handyman skills prompted him to do some work. This time he decided to paint the walls pumpkin chiffon. We had bright orange curtains and a new set of furniture in dark brown plaid to match. I can remember how he took an old set of kitchen chairs and reupholstered with new seat coverings. The apartment was cozy.

The time came for us to move again and we found a trailer to buy. This time my husband worked hard to install pinewood floors and a Ben Franklin stove. We had new linoleum for the dining room and the sound of little feet scampered back and forth most of the day. A cat was added to our family about this time and the little ones got to see kittens for the first time.

Life was yet to move us again though and we found ourselves living on a horse shoe shaped street in a three bedroom cape. This time, my husband did no handyman work. The home had just been repainted and we found out later there had been drug dealers living in the house. Several places looked like they had been patched over and indeed they were. The blast of a sawed off shotgun had taken a two foot wide chunk of plaster out of the walls.

As we moved to our next home, I was wondering just where we would go. It turned out to be another nice place though. This time, I put contact paper with bright yellow flowers on a wall in the kitchen. It was quite dark in there. My husband installed white flooring and the room took on a whole new look.

The way our lives moved from place to place was becoming a common thing. We eventually moved back into the first place we started. This time my husband did more carpentry work. New counters, new cupboards, new carpets, kitchen flooring and the children were now in their teens.

We bought a 3 bedroom home where the children spent their last years at home before going off on their own. Jeff installed hardwood floors and a gorgeous chandelier in the dining room. He took his time and redid the entire living room walls. By now, he had become quite good with tools and accumulated several. In fact, the garage was full of them.

In the end, they were all sold as well as the house. We have lived in so many places, from 1-3 bedrooms and in many sorts of neighborhoods. I seldom keep collections of anything. Yet, I do keep a assortment of bibles. You see, the one thing we never found as we moved to so many places was the peace of God.

You can never find happiness or peace from where you live or from what you own. You will always want something else after a while. The peace we have found has come from God alone. We may still move again, who knows? But, we bring the peace within us.

May you have the peace that passes all understanding as you face the trials of this world. Remembering always....Jesus has overcome the world.

Dear Diary

2012-02-03T07:15:00.002-05:00

'The preacher was desparately trying to get God's message across. 'The human mind sometimes want to wander. The bible says to take every thought captive. If you find your suddenly going in a wrong direction... STOP!

'Here's what it says in 2 Corinthians 10::3-5 'For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have the power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, AND WE TAKE CAPTIVE EVERY THOUGHT TO MAKE IT OBEDIENT TO CHRIST.'

Zack wondered if what he was doing was right. He shouldn't have let it go on this long. It was time to confront his wife. Yet, how? He prayed while on the plane. 'Lord, I don't know what to do.'

Zack stared out the window of the jet and tried to breathe. He was reading his wife's private diary from his laptop. Her world was a complete lie. She went through the motions of a happy wife but according to this diary, she was anything but. She had the luxury of a rich life with crystal chandeliers and heated pool in the yard. She wrote how she held hands with one man and yet another man held her heart. He was long gone from her life. Ten long years had passed and she only knew he lived in a small town in New Hampshire. Jolea had no idea how his life had unfolded or if he was still alive. Yet, he lived in her heart.

She cared for her family and enjoyed the life of wife and mother. Some days, she didn't even think of him. But, only some days. Some days were few and far between.

Zack's fingers shook as he scrolled down the page. He reached up and wiped his brow. His life as an undercover government worker took him to far off countries and back. His work for the government paid well. He worked as a famous photographer and no one knew he was in surveillance as well.

He leaned back in the seat of the first class section and watched the clouds go by. His laptop lay open on his knees and his wife's words began to blur. His heart pounded and he tried not to show any emotion. Yet, he read his wife's online diary with fear and pain. Each day she posted her life. It wasn't published to the world, only on her private diary.

Zack felt at first like it was just a little sneaky to read his wife's diary. He thought she would write about what she got him for his birthday. Yet, here in plain print was her heart's words. She didn't really know if she loved him. Her heart always yearned for what she could never have. Lincoln was a shadow that Zack didn't know existed. Sure, he knew that Jolea had other men before him. He just assumed he was the only one in her heart. He felt the anger build up again.

Zack knew that his anger was just a cover for the fear and hurt he was feeling. Yet, he had to clear his head. A lot was going on around him and people depended on him.

He wiped at his eyes and tried to compose himself. He had a meeting to go to in New York. A rich ambassador of some country he didn't remember was going to be attending the U.N. He was paid to photograph him exiting a taxi or something.

Zack was number one in his field. His million dollar home attested to that fact. Yet, for the last four months his wife was reliving a dream world she had with some guy named Lincoln Davenport. She had described him as being tall with blonde hair that never stayed put. Zack had read how he had gone into the navy and stopped writing to his wife after two years. She then wrote that Zack had been the one to fix a broken heart. From the date she had alluded to, Zack remembered that time.

He looked back down at the screen and read how his wife grew bored with caring for two children and wandering around the mansion alone. She was taking out photos of Lincoln every so often just to daydream. 'How I loved that long blonde wispy hair' she had written.'

Zack shut his eyes and prayed quickly for strength and guidance. He was a Godly man and he knew his wife to be a Christian as well. Yet, Christians still get tempted. He was going to do whatever the Lord said to do to make this right.

Zack had jet black hair cut short. He was tall but not lanky. His broad shoulders and muscles made him seem larger than life. 'I do enjoy Zack though.' she had written. Zack felt as if he'd been slapped. He closed the laptop and sipped his drink.

Suddenly, he reopened his laptop and googled the name of Lincoln Davenport. The man was a news reporter.. In fact, Zack remembered meeting him.

'Oh no!' Zack took a few deep breaths. 'This is insane.' He closed the laptop and put it away. The pilot announced they would land soon. A pretty flight attendant took the empty cup and plate from him. He suddenly had no clue as to what he was going to do. His actions were mechanical as he left the plane with his briefcase. His camera equipment was compact and over his shoulder in it's bag. He stood at the baggage carousel waiting for a dark green travel bag. When he spotted it, he picked it up. His traveling companion, Burt Saunders picked up his suitcase as well. 'OK Zack, let's get to the limo. I hear the traffic all ready.' It was always the same. Burt did the interviewing, as Zack took the photos..or videos. Sometimes a different reporter but the routine seldom varied. They were rushed here and there. Five minutes of an interview on tape and off to another news flash. This time, they were supposed to stay three days.

As they got into the limo, Burt hollered out to someone behind Zack. 'Hey, Link! Come on over!'

Zack's throat tightened and his stomach felt like he would hurl. His demeanor did not change, from years of practice with the public. He gave a wooden smile and turned to a tall man with blonde hair and eyes the color of robin's eggs. He was still the lanky guy his wife had described. Zack looked to see if he wore any wedding rings. He saw none.

'Is this ever a pleasure! I never thought I'd get to meet the famous photographer Zack Edwards! A real pleasure indeed.' The man barely noticed Burt and smiled broadly at Zack. Zack knew his work was famous in most countries, yet rudeness was never pretty. Burt looked stunned to be dismissed like that.

'I'm sure it's a pleasure to meet you too. My man here, Burt has a car waiting though so if you don't mind...' Without waiting for a reply, Zack turned and took Burt's shoulder and moved on.

'What was that? He acted like I was invisible! He sure wanted to meet you though!' Burt got into the stretch limo as the driver took their bags and stored them in the trunk.

Zack stretched out his legs and shook his head. 'I have no idea Burt. But, you are just as good a reporter as he is. Don't let it rock you. I'm tired.' He leaned back and closed his eyes.

'I sometimes forget how famous you are. You've always been just Zack to most of us.'

'That is exactly who I want to be. Him ignoring you ticked me off.' Zack opened his eyes to see Burt grinning.

'Aww shucks!' Burt said. Zack kicked him in the shin and closed his eyes again.

The next day they were planted on the sidewalk with other reporters and camera men. Zack was concentrating on his camera shots and proper angles. He noticed where the sun glared off a few windows and where the crowds looked to be thinning. Everything met his eye as he chose which angle and how long a video to shoot.

The work went well and Burt and Zack met in a restaurant for dinner that night with a few other reporters. Suddenly, a familiar face came by. Lincoln sat down next to Burt and spoke to him. This time, he didn't jump to say hello to Zack. Zack was relieved and yet listened and watched the man his wife wrote about.

He learned that Lincoln never married. He was thirty six years old and enjoyed a life of travel. The two of them spoke in a friendly manner but Zack wasn't one to talk of his personal life and he kept his cards close to his chest.

At the end of his job, Zack was glad to be on a plane to go back home. He had another job in Belize the following week. He opened his laptop to see what his wife was doing, or dreaming of. 'I am watching little Jackie tackle his brother Charlie. What would my life be like without those two monkeys? Zack will be home soon. I have to find something suitable to wear for that party on Friday.'

Zack suddenly remembered the big party he was supposed to go to. It was a black tie affair to give awards out to news broadcasters and photographers too. He wondered if Lincoln would be there. Yet, in all the years they had gone to these events, he hadn't seen him. Of course, he didn't know he existed either.

Zack's home was a rambling six bedroom mansion that stood on 30 acres of land. A portion of the his home was facing the Indian River. He had an Olympic sized in-ground swimming pool. The home had a huge living room that sported an aquarium as an entire wall. Tropical fish swam quietly as he enjoyed reading his paper in the mornings. He enjoyed hardwood floors in that room along with black and white leather furniture. A huge picture of a zebra he'd taken while on location graced the wall over his gas fireplace. The front bay window was filled with passion flowers and jasmine. The smells made air freshener unneeded.

The winding staircases made it possible to enter the upper level from either the south or north side of the living room.

His kitchen sported sandstone flooring that was durable with two preschool boys. His wife and he had spent a year decorating his million dollar home. The brick walls in the kitchen with silver appliances and brick marbled countered tops always greeted him with home coming elegance.

The home had a hideaway room that could be entered through the living room or the kitchen. This is where the boys had their trains set up and most of their toys. They had an intercom as well as tv there so they could see them from the kitchen, bedroom or living room.

The boys bedrooms were upstairs with the master suite. There was one empty bedroom upstairs as well. Two bedrooms were on the back side of the mansion for guests. Each with it's own bathroom and shower.

Zack's garage was a separate building from the house with servants quarters upstairs from it. He drove through iron gates and parked his car in his garage. He then strolled through a small garden to the side door which opened to the sitting room. If he preferred, he could drive to the carport and exit to the right and through the front double doors. He was seldom that formal though. He had that put in for guests.

There was a meeting room on the upper back part of his home. It was a solar room and held several plants and wicker furniture. He liked to sit there with Burt or the General when they visited. He had a dumb waiter installed so he could call the kitchen and Sophie or Martha could send up drinks and snacks.

Zack enjoyed his home and didn't mind it when it was a mess. Sometimes toys were strewn all over the den, living room and halls as the boys played. He enjoyed wrestling in the den on a huge burgundy fluffy carpet he'd installed for this purpose. 'Hard wood floors are too much for boys to wrestle on.' he'd said.

His master bedroom boasted of a beautiful fireplace and picture window that overlooked the gardens below. The king sized bed boasted of a huge rattan headboard he'd sent home from Africa. Ebony and Ivory statues were strewn about. His wife had decorated the room with black and white colors for winter, and she switched to pastels for spring and summer.

Jolea had made sure to have plenty of closet spaces. The halls were filled with doors that led to storage rooms and closets that held an upstairs washer and dryer. No need to go downstairs to pick up laundry and cart it up to the boys rooms. Everything was within easy access.

To Zack though, only Jolea and the boys mattered. He loved to come home and see them.

He opened the door to his home and two chubby little boys raced down the hall yelling 'Daddy Daddy!' Charlie was six and Jackie was five. He scooped them up and turned around in a circle. 'Airplane Daddy!' they yelled. He did that all the time with them when he came home. After he had been thoroughly kissed and hugged, he set them down. The scooted off to play as his wife stood watching.

Zack smiled per usual though his heart sank as he watched her come to him slowly. No eager reception. Had there ever been? Four months ago he would never have questioned her love for him. Now, he questioned his entire life.

He reached for her and drew her close. The smell of jasmine and he knew he was home. 'I need a shower and food.'

'I've got chicken kiev waiting.' She smiled and led him to their upstairs bedroom. She unpacked his dirty clothes as he stepped into the shower.

'How is Martha doing?' he asked. Martha was the governess he'd hired to help out.

'Oh, she is so nice. The boys love her. It's like having Aunt Francis full time.' Jolea began to go through the closet for Zack's jeans and a shirt as he stepped into the shower.

There was a shower head on each end of the huge tub. Jets were installed so it turned into a hot tub as well. A seat on both sides of the tub made it possible to sit either in the tub or on the side. The colors of sandstone and ivory were accentuated with a deep indigo inlaid mosaic design in 12 of the tiles scattered across the shower.

Zack began to relax as the hot water hit his back. 'We don't have anything to do tonight do we?'

'Nope! Just dinner and a game with the boys.'

Zack was glad they weren't expected anywhere. He was exhausted.

All bathed and dressed for dinner, Jolea sat watching Zack button his clean shirt. 'Do you think the dark blue dress will be all right for Thursday's awards banquet?' Zack turned to look at the dress hanging in the closet.

'I love you in anything and nothing at all. It will look perfect. Blonde hair, green eyes, blue dress, and I suppose those diamond earrings?' Zack loved Jolea and tried to buy her stones of every color.

'Of course.' she said.

Thursday night brought some of the most famous reporters and photographers of the nation out for this awards banquet. Zack and his wife had their photograph taken several times. They sat at the table reserved for them and began to sip champagne. Jolea took one or two sips and switched to ice water as usual. Zack drank ginger ale and no one knew his glass was always filled with it. To some, he was the world's best drunk. Yet, he didn't drink at all.

The roast pheasant dinner was served within the hour as everyone was entertained with a pianist. As the meal was almost over, Zack looked up and his heart sank. Walking towards him and Jolea was none other than Lincoln Davenport.

Jolea's eyes grew wide and Zack could see she was excited. His long practiced calm demeanor almost slipped as he saw the recognition in both their eyes.

'Jolea? Is that you?' Lincoln stood next to Zack's chair like a monument.

Zack tried to make the best of it. 'Lincoln, do you know my wife?'

'Know her? That is an understatement. I almost married her. Stand up and let me hug you!'

Zack stood up and helped his wife out of her chair. He felt like he was handing her over to a lion. The two embraced for longer than necessary to suit Zack.

'Well, I am seated way over in the back forty so I best get moving. It was so nice to see you though. I wish I could sit and chat.'

Zack was always polite and so he invited him to sit down in the empty chair next to them. Lincoln, was not as polite though. Rather than chatting for a few minutes and leaving, he remained at their table and asked to have his food brought to him.

Zack found he could do nothing but sit and smile politely as his wife's eyes lit up. Through the rest of the evening, Zack said very little. When it came time for the awards, Zack's name was nominated several times. He was called up to the podium to receive an award when Lincoln commented to Jolea.

'Listen, I need for you to help me with something. I want to work with Zack, but I'm not famous enough to get the nod. Can you put in a good word?' He smiled as he thought Jolea would do it in a minute for him.

Jolea was astonished. 'How long have you been at this reporter's job?'

'I worked for CNN, Fox, MSNBC, and ABC off and on for eight years. Why?'

'Well, I never saw you on television. Does Zack know you?'

Lincoln's face flushed. 'Yeah, we've met.'?'

Jolea began to get nervous. 'So, you work for the same people?'

Fine, I've been working for Midnight Madness mostly. So what?'

Jolea's mind clicked and remembered how that rag magazine had done an article about her husband before she was married. It nearly ruined his career. They had wrote lies about him fathering children in several other countries with various women while he took pictures. She sat back quietly.

'I will see what I can do.' she said. Lincoln did not want to talk about his life in the navy. Jolea wanted to ask many questions about why he never wrote her. She did ask a few. He suddenly grew angry though and turned to her.

'Look, I just wasn't interested in you that much. I had bigger fish to fry. You were well, fun. OK? Now, please don't embarrass us both and just stop asking. Let me know how you make out with my request OK?'

Lincoln left the table before Zack returned with his award.

Zack noticed his wife's face was blanched. 'Jolea, is everything all right?'

'I'm fine.'

Zack saw his wife's reaction to Lincoln as he stood on the other side of the room and wondered what had happened.. The rest of the night Zack watched as his wife picked at her dessert and clapped when others went up to collect their awards. He noticed that she never looked over to where Lincoln was sitting.

No matter what she had been daydreaming about, she was his wife. He wanted to protect her from anything that would hurt her, even herself.

The ride home was silent as Jolea leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes all the way home. Zack didn't ask a lot of questions. He knew he would find out from her diary how she felt. A few days later, on his way to Belize he opened his laptop.

'I wonder why I never saw his name on that rag magazine. I'll have to go buy one and see it. I know he was in journalism class. He graduated from the same college as I did. I went to learn how to write children's books. What was he interested in? I just assumed he made a career out of the navy. He looks the same. Yet, he doesn't seem the same. I can't figure it out. Why does he want to get closer to Zack? Zack's fame as a photographer has no way of making a name for him.'

The plane suddenly dipped and Zack grabbed his laptop. 'His phone call today made no sense. Why is he looking for Zack?' Zack stopped reading and turned to Burt.

'Burt, how much do you know about Lincoln Davenport?'

But put the paper down and scratched his head. 'Let's see, I met him a few yrs back when we were in a white house press conference. He was working for KBYOB back then. Didn't stay long. Then, I heard he worked for a couple other stations a while. He has a short temper, so probably didn’t last long because of that. He was never a friend of mine, but we used to chat on the road once in a while.'

'Did you know he works for a rag magazine?'

Burt sat up. 'Now that you mention it, there was this rumor. But, there are so many...'

'What did you hear?' Zack was beginning to think of something.

'Well, he always wanted to make it big in the reporting. However, he got accused of fabricating things. One time he said he learned it while working for a rag magazine.'

Zack nodded his head and turned back to his wife's diary. 'The world of reporting and photographing never seemed so mysterious as now. Zack makes it all sound boring when we talk about his job. In fact, we seldom discuss his work. Lincoln's remark to me left me reeling. Zack would never have said anything like that.'

The laptop closed quietly and Zack sat staring into space. 'Let's see, how do I feel.' Zack was very analytical which left little room for sudden outbursts in his life. 'I love this woman. I am crushed but on top of that I'm angrier than I have ever been. Got to keep control here. I've got to find out what this man is about. Then I can deal with Jolea.' he thought to himself.

He jotted down a few connections he had and filed them away in his pocket. The next few days for him were busy. He met with the CEO of the Belize company. He set up a tripod and took photos of some buildings. Later, he did a video of people being interviewed by Burt. He then went to a small sidewalk cafe' with Burt and enjoyed a light meal and ginger ale.

By the time he made it to his hotel for the night, he'd been up almost 19 hours without sleep. His adrenalin was pumping though and he didn't feel particularly tired. He sat on the bed and opened his laptop.

'I miss him. The children are busy with their toys and I sit alone staring out the window. I've finished the story for my editors. He needs only to select the artist since the last artist was killed in a fire last night. I will miss Sadie. I wonder what he is doing now.'

Zack decided to call home. No matter how tired he was, it sounded like Jolea was upset. 'Hi there!' he said a little too loud as she picked up on the first ring.

'Zack, I miss you! Sadie died in a fire last night. The editor phoned and now my book won't be out for another few months. I don't care, it's just so sudden. I've worked with Sadie for four years now. Oh, Zack I don't mean to unload on you. I was just sitting here and it's so sad. Are you ok?'

Zack marveled at how much she sounded like a little girl sometimes. 'I'm fine. Just getting ready to turn in. I'm bushed. Listen, I'm really sorry about Sadie. I'll get hold of your editor and send something to her family. Meanwhile, you just sit tight. I'll be home in two days. I'll be holding you in no time. OK? '

'OK, but Zack...I need to ask you something when you get home. Actually, I need to talk.'

Zack felt a cold shiver come over him. 'Of course. Call me if you need to talk sooner.'

Zack hung up the phone and checked the clock. It was almost midnight. His body over rid his brain and soon he was sound asleep.

Jolea hung up the phone and took out her picture book. She always had Zack take tons of pictures of the family. She liked to see him in the photos too. Suddenly, she thought of how her mind had gone haywire in the last four months. She knew that one minute with Lincoln had undid her from any further thoughts of him. She had an insight that he was not the man she'd dreamed of.

Yet, she stared down at Zack's jet black wavy hair as he was cuddling his sons and knew she had chosen well. His arms were always open and though in these past few months her mind had wandered, she loved him. She knew she loved him now. It was time to write.

'Without a shadow of doubt, I know I love this man. I've been such a fool. When I am in need, its his voice I want to hear and no other. I need to talk to Zack this week end.'

A shaky hand closed the laptop the following day. Zack read the words and grew hot and cold. 'So, she loves that guy. She wants to talk to me now. I'll make sure she gets to talk all she wants.'

First, he would have to call his friend Nick and make sure his boat was ready. He had purchased a 40 foot boat for use in the inner coastal waterways. Living in Orlando meant he could spend a lot of time fishing when he wasn't working. This boat was not too big, yet he could sleep four easy enough. He had planned to take his boys out on it when they got older. Meanwhile, he could use it with Jolea for a quick get away.

Zack hung up the phone from talking to Nick and set another plan in place. He drove up to Clear-water with Burt and met with Lincoln Davenport. Lincoln sat in a white sport-scar outside the 'Hungry Lion' grill. It was a local spot that overlooked the water as you ate your meal. The three men sat down next to the window and ordered drinks.

Lincoln ordered a double scotch and Burt and Zack looked up at the waiter and said 'We'll just have the usual.' They had been there many times. Their usual was ginger ale for Zack and a diet cola with lemon for Burt. They liked to keep their wits about them under these conditions.

The meals were eaten with friendly banter. Lincoln was especially friendly and got up the nerve to tell Zack what he wanted to do. 'I have a few assignments that take me to some of the places you will be in the next few months. I have a photographer that usually goes with me but I would love it if you could be my shadow for a few days.

Zack never took his eyes off his steak. He continued to cut it into small pieces and purposefully let a few seconds of silence pass. When he looked up into Lincoln's eyes, Lincoln saw a piercing gaze.

'First of all, I am paid by the networks I work for, the same as you are. I do not freelance while under contract. I doubt if Midnight Madness would do any thing different. So, aside from the fact that you once dated my wife...we do not have any connection.'

Lincoln's mouth dropped. 'But, I told you I work for the same people that you work for.'

Burt took a swig of his soda and wondered how Zack would respond.

Zack set his fork down. 'Oh, really! Just who do you think I work for?'

'You mean which major network?' asked Lincoln.

Zack leaned forward. 'The game is over Lincoln. I know you work for the same rag magazine that tried to gather dirt on me eight years ago. It didn't work then and it isn't going to wash now. You have no idea what you are up against!'

'They had you pinned back then, you were just using that job as a cover for gathering info for foreign countries. I can almost prove it!'

Burt burst out laughing. 'Zack, he thinks you are a spy! For a foreign government no less! Man, you are way off Link, I could have saved you a lot of trouble.'

Zack gave Lincoln a sneering smile. 'I ran a background check on you pal. My wife told me you disappeared after you left for the navy. You were dishonorably discharged. Would you like that to be Burt's next headline? I have other great bits of information on you as well. You once planted a stink bomb in one of the white house offices and your newspaper had to pay a bundle. I can only assume they paid you to do it, or you would have gotten fired. You are small potatoes in a gourmet stew. Get out of here before I call someone who can escort you.'

Lincoln's face grew red. 'I'll get you yet Zack ! Your wife still adores me. She'll give me all I need.'

Zack wasn't going to fall for the bait. Lincoln got close enough for him to spit at but he was sure other photographers were there to snap a shot. 'It was nice meeting with you.' he said with his famous white toothed smile. Burt got up and shook hands with him. A flash went off as one of the photographers hiding thought he was going to hit him.

The cover was blown and Zack continued to eat his steak. Lincoln knew he had blown it. He got out of the restaurant as fast as he could.

Burt slapped Zack on the back. 'That was the most fun I've had in years. He really thought you were a double agent. Zack, why didn't you tell me?'

'I didn't want to upstage you!' Zack grinned. Burt had no idea what he did besides taking photos and he wasn't about to tell him and put him in danger. How that rag magazine had gotten wind of him working for the government was still unclear. Their story was wrong though, he worked for the US government, not any other. His connections went high up and he still felt there was someone planting false information for some reason.

Zack phoned home and spoke to his wife. 'I need to go to Washington for a few days on special assignment. I won't be back for a few more days.'

'I'll miss you. I was wondering if we could spend some time on the boat.' she said.

'Sounds good to me.' Zack hung up and made more phone calls.

'General Towers, please.' he said to the person answering.

Soon a booming voice answered him. 'Zack , what are you doing calling papa bear!'

'A squirrel named Lincoln Townsend...works for rags. Seems, I'm still a delectable morsel.'

The conversation was always in code.

General Towers knew what was up. 'Guess I need to clean the fridge! I'll be growling in about three days.' That meant he'd find out and get back to him.

'Behave! Kiss the wife for me.'

The general hung up and went to work.

Zack and Burt went to Washington DC and tackled their assignment. A press conference in the rose garden, secretary of state speech, a human activist story and death of a congressman. Each night Zack took photos and managed to sight people who weren't supposed to be there. He sent the photos to head quarters per usual. The disguises of the people did nothing to hide them from Zack's trained eye. His lense was such that he could see a gnat’s eye quiver from five hundred yards. Within days people were apprehended and a possible fiasco was avoided.

An attempt was going to be made on the vice president by someone named 'Zero'. He was Zack's assignment and the reason he was in Washington. Zack kept his gun nearby just in case. He was also a sharpshooter. He gained that nickname 'Sharpshooter' from the marines but most thought it meant shooting pictures. Zack was good at both. In fact, he was the nation's best.

The vice president was scheduled to speak about abortion rights, gay rights, and the economy this week. All topics that elicited a passionate crowd. Zack was ready.

The first speech went without incident. Zack thought it was a little to eerie that not one person out of place figured into the crowd. He spent a lot of time filming that day.

That night he turned on his laptop. 'I saw Zack on television tonight. His back was to the crowd as usual and his camera on his shoulder. No wonder his muscles grew. That camera looks heavy. Meanwhile, I am thinking of Lincoln. Will he show up in my life again? That last phone call did not end well.'

Zack nearly dropped his laptop. 'How dare that jerk call my wife!' he shouted to an empty room. He was tired and hungry but none of that mattered. Lincoln Davenport had no business calling his wife. What could he do? Did his wife want Lincoln to call?' He sat down and removed his shoes. Hurriedly, he undressed and threw the dirty clothes in a bag. He was still grumbling when he turned on the shower.

He stepped out of the shower and toweled himself off. He stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and spotted her. 'Hi Zack!'

Janice was a photographer's worst nightmare. She had worked with him a year ago and since then, she thought he liked her. He had given no sign of encouragement. Yet, she seemed to have her assignments at nearly the same place.

'Janice! Get out of here!' He walked briskly to the door and opened it wide. He stood to one side waiting for her to leave.

Janice was a former model turned secretary to one of the major reporters. 'Aw, Zack. Don't you ever get the itch?' She walked close to him as if she were exciting the door. Suddenly, she reached over and licked his ear. He grabbed her arm to push her away which left her other arm free. With her free arm, she attempted to tear his towel off. Zack anticipated her action though and pushed her away.

The flashes from the camera alerted him to another prank. He pushed her out and closed the door. He was dialing the general within seconds. 'baby bear got a bad bowl of porridge, threw it out, filming continues.'

The general jumped. 'Oh, crap! I'm on it!'

Mysteriously, the next day no one saw any photos. Janice was fired and no one saw the photographers again. The cameras and all the equipment was destroyed. Zack lay awake at three a.m.on the phone with the general getting a full report. 'The guys were never out of the hall before they were apprehended. Do you want someone to stay in the room with you?'

'Not unless you can fly my wife here.' Zack answered.

The general laughed and hung up the phone.

The second speech from the vice president didn't go as smooth. There were body guards, secret service and the usual crowd. Then, Zack spotted a flash in the crowd. It was quick. Some might have thought it was the sun catching someone's earring. Zack knew better. His camera's gun was out and aimed withing seconds. Pop pop! The crowd scattered, as the vice president was ushered to a safe place. A man lay sprawled on the ground with a gun nearby. His wrist was bloody from where Zack had shot him.

The secret service men laid claim to the shot. Zack's cover would be blown if anyone knew he carried a piece. No one noticed Zack's camera was equipped with a weapon. Zack had put it away as fast as he'd drawn it out...while continuing to shoot video. He had trained himself to do these things, making sure his camera's secret weapon wasn't in the shot.

An hour later, Burt saw Zack at a local pub. 'I gotta tell ya Zack, that was close. Thank God those secret service guys knows what's happening. I'm still shaking. Think I'll call Emma. Hell, I'll call everyone I know just to be sure they're there. What am I saying? I'm nuts tonight.'

Zack smiled. Burt was a good guy. He was no coward either. He wasn't trained for this kind of thing. The six years in the marines had made Zack into the man he was today. Then, the last ten years he'd been at this job. Most of the time it was fun. But on days like this, with thoughts of his wife drifting in and out...he wasn't sure if but what he'd call Jolea too.

The news the next day said that a man was shot as he tried to shoot the vice president. Secret service apprehended him without incident.

The plane ride home was quiet. Burt slept most of the way. He'd drank himself into a stupor the night before after calling his wife and telling her how much she meant to him. Zack had phoned Jolea but she was busy giving the boys a bath.

He'd talk to her tonight. He opened his laptop to see how his wife's thoughts were. 'I saw the news last night and I was terrified. I always thought Zack chose an easy way of life. He must have been terrified to see this kind of shooting. He is such a gentle person. He never even gets upset. I was thinking of Lincoln. I think something bad must have happened while he was in the navy to make him the way his is to day. That's it, Zack probably never saw anything that bad.'

'Nice' Zack though, 'She forget I was a marine? Meanwhile I find out Lincoln went AWOL cause he was too lazy to get up for the navy's morning calls.' He shut the laptop and looked out the window. He was almost asleep when he felt his cell phone vibrate.

'Zack?' his wife's voice sounded far away.

'I was so worried about you. Are you doing ok?'

'I'm in the air and on my way home. I'm fine.' He was still angry but tried not to show it.. She had no idea he read her diary.

'That shooting was right where you were yesterday wasn't it?'

'Yes, in fact I took the photos that you saw on television.' Rats! He wasn't supposed to know she watched tv.

'So you weren't that close. Good. I bet it was the most excitement you've had in years.'

Zack smiled. He never would tell her what he did. She would be terrified. In fact, he loved his job but it was better to let her think he was just a photographer for the news.

'I'm proud of you Zack. I just don't want you in stuff like that.'

Zack smiled. 'So what's new there?' He wondered if she would tell the truth.

'Zack, Lincoln phoned and he sounded drunk. How did he get our private number?'

Zack frowned. How indeed? 'When was this?'

His wife told him and he realized it was the night they had met for dinner. 'Did he leave a number?' Zack knew he didn't but had to ask.

Jolea said no. 'Zack, he threatened to hurt you. Should I call the police?'

'No, I'll take care of it. I doubt you'll hear from him again though. Is that ok with you?' Zack waited for her response.

'I think it best.'

Zack wasn't sure if he believed that but it didn't matter. He was going to take care of his family even if his wife was in love with someone else. Zack said good night and made a few more calls. Soon he got a phone call that said Lincoln was not going to be a problem any more.

Three days later Zack drove himself and his wife to the docks where his boat was moored. He was smiling and gave no clue as to what his thoughts were. Jolea had met him as usual with a hug.

The morning sky was light blue and the sea was calm. He went below and made sure the galley was stocked. Jolea was busy unpacking a small bag. 'What did you do, empty the supermarket?'

Jolea was bent over and giving her husband a nice view of her rear. Her shapely legs were encased in a pair of white capris that went beautifully with her orange and white striped shirt. She looked like a delectable creamsicle. 'No silly, but I wanted to make omelets for breakfast and I picked up some steaks too.'

She turned around and didn't miss the bulge in Zack's pants. 'Hungry?'

Zack took three steps and pulled her to his chest. 'I could eat I guess.'

Jolea kissed him and gently pushed him away. 'let me put this stuff away first.'

Zack took a breath. 'I'm going up and cast off anyways. We'll be off and anchored near Hushaby Island in a few hours. Come on up when you're done.'

'Aye aye captain!' she smiled her salute.

Zack kept thinking of how she smiled as she was pushing him away. 'How often has she done that and I didn't notice?' he thought.

Jolea wanted to make it a surprise for Zack. She donned her new swimsuit which consisted of a few scraps of fabric stretched over the important places. The indigo blue went well with her golden blonde hair. Having two children made her a size eight rather than the size four she was. However, she'd trade her size four for those two boys any time.

Zack looked up and saw his wife approach in her new suit. He let out a wolf whistle. 'Hellooo!'

Jolea smiled and went up to the captain's seat. She put her arms around Zack's neck and watched him steer the boat. They waved at other crafts as they made their way to their destination.

Jolea pulled a wrapper on and sat in a padded booth with dinner on the table. From their deck, they could see the stars and hear the sounds of the ocean. The smell of steak and baked potato made Zack's mouth water. They ate in silence.

Jolea had a matchless candle lit and the glow gave off a romantic effect. When they finished dinner, Jolea brought the dishes down to the galley.

Zack grew nervous as his wife approached with bottled water to share. 'Can we talk now?' she asked.

Zack braced himself. 'Sure.'

He watched the moonlight bounce off of her hair. Her eyes twinkled a bit. His breath caught and he wasn't sure he could go through with this talk. He had told himself he wouldn't get frighten her with anger. He'd try to be understanding. Yet, his emotions were a mixture of pain, anger, and disbelief.

Jolea sat down and reached over for Zack's hands across the table. He held them gently and waited for the tidal wave to hit.

'I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past few months. For some crazy reason, I thought I had been holding on to you, yet loving someone else.' She waited for her husband to speak.

When he didn't, she went on. 'I thought you would jump when I said that. Anyway, I never would have tried to find him. I would never do something like that. It was just all these weird thoughts and wanting something I thought was, and I found out that it wasn't. Do you remember Lincoln?'

Zack's face was impassive as he tried to concentrate on his wife's voice. He nodded quickly.

'Well, I had remembered him as something totally different. In the meantime, I had forgotten what was right in front of me. You. Zack, I'm sorry. I just have to confess this to you. I really began remembering this guy and how I thought he held my heart. But, that night at the awards banquet I got to see what I had given up.'

'uh huh' Zack was still bracing himself for a fall.

'I looked at him and I found out he didn't look that good to me any more. I did ask him about why he stopped writing when he joined the navy though. I mean, he just disappeared and I wondered why. He got very irritated Zack. He told me that I was fun but it meant nothing to him. Then, he told me he wanted me to put a word in for him so he could work with you.'

Zack was awoken. 'What?'

'I cornered him, I told him I had never heard of him. He finally fessed up to me. He works for 'Midnight Madness magazine!' that same place that almost ruined you years ago. Zack, I'm worried. I think they sent Lincoln to me to get to you. That phone call the other night was scary.'

'You're worried about me?' Zack was trying to remain calm but felt himself getting antsy.

'But mostly, I wanted you to know that I found out where my heart is for good. It's with you Zack. I mean it, maybe a wife shouldn't do things like this but I did. I took a good look at the man I married. You are amazing on so many levels. The past few months I think my brain went on vacation. But, I gotta tell you...reality is where I always want to be.'

Zack let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He leaned back in his seat and crossed one knee over the other. It took a few moments before he was able to speak.

'Well, this does make things more interesting now doesn't it.' His voice took on an acid tone as he watched his wife's eyes flicker and her mouth set in a firm line. 'It appears to be a night of confessions so I will make mine too. Four months ago, I was home on our computer. You had left your diary open and I thought perhaps you were writing about what you were going to get me for my birthday.' He took a drink and sat staring across the table at her.

'You read it?' Jolea spoke in a high pitched little girl voice.

Zack knew she was nervous and afraid. 'Oh yes. It was quite a read. What's more, I figured out your password and continued to read for the past four months. What a horrible man I must be.' He sat back and crossed his arms continuing to bore dark brown eyes into her.

The moon reflected on Zack's face and made him appear fierce and impenetrable. His chest rose and fell with his breathing. With his leg crossed and arms crossed, he appeared to be casually waiting like a cat about to pounce.

Inside, Zack's heart was pounding and he hoped she couldn't see his pulse at the base of his neck. His stomach was rolling but he knew he had to play this out. This woman thought him dull witted and dreamed of other men. Dreams sometimes led to actual actions and he needed to remain calmly aloof right now to play his game.

'I don't know what to say. I was just trying to sort things out in my head in the diary.'

'Of course, I understand. It's not like you could tell me, your husband, that you were bored with me and dreamed of a sexy tall blonde man with a lanky build. Your husband is full of muscles and dark as sin...,to quote you of course. So, this Lincoln has your heart and I just hold your hand. Though, I must say I took it a little further than hand holding over the years. I really thought my wife loved me.'

Jolea's eyes began to burn and her breathing became erratic. 'You know the answer to that.' Jolea felt trapped in a nightmare. 'If you knew, why didn't you come to me?'

' Don't turn this around Jolea. I am not the guilty party. I do admit, I was a fool to read your personal diary. I won't do it again and I do apologize. Believe me, I was the one who took the brunt of that mistake. However, I do not dream of other women while I hold on to you. So, you come to me now because you met your dream man and he turned out not to be who you thought. How am I supposed to feel? Insulted? Angry? I can't seem to put my finger on how I feel right now..'

'No, that isn't it at all. I woke up the moment he sat at our table. I looked at you and him and knew I was dreaming of something that was false. Plus, I would never have stepped out of line. It was just thoughts in my head that I was battling.'

'Jolea, we have been a member of River Church for years. I sit every Sunday that I am home listening to Pastor Briggs tell us about the battle of the mind. The thoughts about a past boyfriend might come into your head, but what you wrote was a lot more in depth. You were longing for him. Every time I read an entry I kept wondering if I had failed somehow. You hardly mentioned me. I'll tell you, I was so blown away I didn't even know what to do.'

Jolea sat and watched as her husband visibly trembled. She got up and went to him. 'I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say.'

Zack hugged her to him and moved so she could sit next to him. 'Jolea, you took your eyes off me. More than that though, you took your eyes off Jesus. I mean, I am worried something more serious is going on here than a wandering mind. I don't know how to help you. I've been praying for you, and I do forgive you sweetheart. I love you Jolea. You have to know something though...in my line of work I have to have a wife I can trust when I am away. Our boys need a mom and dad. Stuff like this can escalate into actions. I just want you to spend some time thinking. Do we need marriage counseling?'

Jolea sat in shocked silence for a moment. 'Oh Zack, no...' Suddenly she remembered what she'd listened to the Sunday before. Colossians 3:2 'Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things.' Jolea began to sob as she sat tucked under her husband's arms. Zack held on to her and was thankful she hadn't reacted in self defense or anger. She acted in repentence. After a few moments she stirred. 'I'll make this up to you Zack.'

'Tell me what you need Jolea. Do you need me home more? More attention? What can I do to help you? I love you Jolea....'

Jolea began to cry again. She clung to Zack's chest and confessed her love through broken sentences. Zack was glad to hear it and tried to soothe her. 'We have to pick up the dishes Jolea. The birds are circleing.' Jolea smiled and nodded.

Slowly, she got up and went to the galley. Zack offered to help but she shook her head. 'You just relax.' She washed the dishes and put everything away. When the galley was cleaned, she went to their cabin and undressed. She sat by the porthole and watched the waves for a while. Zack left her alone knowing she needed some space. It was a heavy emotional time for both of them.

He sat in the dark on deck and watched the stars and thought of his wife.

Zack thought back to the woman he had met years ago. She was a tiny girl with an hourglass figure. Wavy blonde hair that had been long enough to sit on was flapping in the breeze as she hung clothes on her mother's clothes line. Zack was standing in his mother's kitchen that day.

He had come home from college to his parents new home. They were middle class Italians who had purchased a home in an older neighborhood. Zack was determined to do better for himself. He was dreaming of travel and had no thoughts of a wife any time soon.

His time spent in the marines had taught him well. He had begun photographing scenes of war. On top of that, he worked for the government. Few people knew how he had gained his money in both places. Working undercover as a photographer was a perfect set up. Jolea was just twenty years old and still in a community college. The sight of her hanging up clothes with a flimsy summer dress that blew in the breeze still made him smile. Her hair whipping around her as she stretched up to pin clothes.

She turned to pick wet clothes up and spied him in the window. He was shocked to see a beautiful face attached to all that beauty. She waved and smiled and he waved back. The next thing he knew, he was out back handing her wet clothes and talking about anything to keep her attention.

He slowly went down to their berth and undressed for bed. He sat on the edge of the bed for a moment waiting for a thought to guide him. 'Jolea, if we can; I would like to handle this on our own. I don't want this spread all over the church. I want to protect you from any embarrassment. I would like to sit with the pastor though. A little marriage tune up would not hurt us. Whatever you decide to confide to him will be in confidence. I won't bring it up though.'

Jolea knew he was trying to protect her as usual. 'I have to confess something else.' he heard a small voice say.

Zack leaned over and rested his elbows on his knees. 'Oh Jolea, I don't think that's necessary.'

'I think it is quite necessary. You see, I found out something about you. You work undercover for the government don't you?'

Zack turned around fast and found his wife sitting in the middle of the bed Indian fashioned. She shrugged her shoulders and took a deep breath.

'How in the world did you come up with that idea?'

'Simple, your boss phoned and told me. He's a sweet old guy. He was worried about you and thought I should fly over to be with you. I didn't let on that I had no idea you worked for our government. I guess he thought a husband would tell his wife those things.' Jolea played with a loose string on the quilt and waited for his reply.

Zack was speechless. 'I didn't want you to worry.' It was lame but the truth. 'Some of what I do is top secret. This is not to be shared with anyone, even the pastor.'

'Yeah, I figured that out. You see, I got to thinking of this big hunk I married. You were a marine and you also were a sharpshooter. I can't explain it, everything just made sense to me all of a sudden. Plus, you weren't too close to that guy who got shot.'

Zack scratched his head. 'So??'

Jolea smiled. 'A sharpshooter doesn't have to get that close to get a good shot. I'm proud of you Zack. All this time I thought I was married to a great guy. I just didn't know how great.'

Zack turned around and pulled her onto his lap. 'So, does this mean you are all right with it? I carry a gun like any other secret service agent. The only difference is that no one knows its there. I truly am a camera man and work for the government. I don't have any assumed names or act like OO7..very much.'

Jolea laughed. 'You have no worries.'

'I can tell you some things that wouldn't be considered top secret. Yet, I'd rather not.'

Jolea laughed. 'You know, after I got the call from the General I realized I had two choices. I could be proud of you or I could hate you for keeping this a big secret. Then I stopped to think of who you are. I knew you were protecting me and also doing a wonderful service to our county. How can I be living with a hero and stay angry for him keeping this from me. I still want you to be careful though.'

Zack knew the future held a lot of dark times. His time in this job was limited. He figured he'd be retired within the next ten years.

Later that night Zack woke up when an arm fell over his side. Jolea was a restless sleeper and sometimes took the whole bed. He turned and covered her up as she rolled back over.

'All mine.' he thought and went back to sleep.

Apple Snack Cake [tastes like a brownie]

2012-01-24T12:01:00.001-05:00

I had this at my friend Bonnie's home. She is the pastor's wife and an amazing cook. She knows the value of keeping expenses down and is a wonderful witness of God's creativeness! Once again, we do not claim to own this recipe.

Apple Snack Cake (from Taste of Home)

1 1/2 cups flour

1/4 cup cocoa

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup water

1/4 c oil

1 tsp lemon juice

1 tsp vanilla

1 cup chopped peeled apples

2/3 cup sugar

1/4 tsp cinnamon

In a medium bowl, combine flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt. Combine water, oil, lemon juice and vanilla; add to the dry ingredients and stir just until combined. Toss apples with sugar and cinnamon; fold into batter. Pour into a greased 8-inch square baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes or until cake tests done.

I doubled this recipe and used a 13x9 pan.

--
Believe and receive what God says.

Mayonnaise Banana Bread

2012-01-23T14:07:00.000-05:00

The cooler temperatures make you want to bake? Here is a moist inexpensive treat.

2 bananas

1 cup mayonnaise

½ cup sugar

1 ½ cup flour

1 tsp cinnamon

½ tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

1 cup water * pour a little at a time to consistency of cake batter

½ cup oil

bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes to an hour

You can change things in this recipe according to taste. You might like to add nuts or a little clove seasoning. I have made this with one banana and the water made up the difference in the right consistency. More bananas use a little less water. This comes out quite moist. You can pour this into a square cake pan and serve it without frosting as a snack too, but watch the timing. It might need less baking time.

Who Reads This Blog?

2012-01-16T09:33:00.000-05:00

'In all thy was acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths...' Proverbs 3:6

There are millions of blogs out there. I am always happy to get an email sent to my email address telling me who is reading my blog. angeleyes7210@hotmail.com is my email address. My readers are simple folk usually. Yet, I also hear from many teen aged single parents. Some wish to know how to make simple recipes out of a very low budget. Some are mothers of several children with no one to help. Some are middle aged men who suddenly find enjoyment in cooking. Some are homeless who became rape victims. They got into the system and our government is sponsoring them to get an education. So, they use the school computers and have found me. I am so proud of you all who are trying so hard to find God's manna!

Some folks are home bound and find a computer strange yet, they have managed to find my blog and read my stories a little at a time.

I know of two countries who use some of the stories for bible studies. They call me the 'Silent Church' as they are not allowed to worship in public.

Recently, I have been asked why I use mayonnaise in so many recipes since it is high in cholesterol. The answer is simple. Years ago, recipes were created while folks lived on a farm and eggs were plentiful. The cost of a dozen eggs and shortening was cheap. Now, it is not. Yet, mayonnaise can take it's place when you use the no name brand for a quart of mayonnaise that costs less than two dollars. I try to use less sugar in recipes as well. That leaves the eggs in a single parent home ready for breakfast with my sweet bread or cookies as a side dish. Remember, I use a lot of oatmeal in recipes here. Oatmeal is high in fiber, potassium and nutrients that are helpful on a low budget.

The Lord has had me personally experience the need to be creative in the kitchen and I am grateful. He is able to meet all your needs no matter what your budget.

To those struggling in today's world...know that I pray for you constantly and cherish each email you send. I try to answer as time allows. I have found a recipe for banana bread made with mayonnaise and it is in my oven as I write this. If it turns out good I will post it soon. Until then, pray to the one who makes all things possible...Jesus!

The Battle with Bullying, Hazing and Bus violence

2012-01-10T17:26:00.002-05:00

This week I was sickened to hear the tv reporting yet another case of bus violence. The first day of school for a local girl turned ugly as no one let her sit down and they circled her and beat her. The school is flooded with disciplinary cases and this one has all ready gone to court. Yet, what trauma will that girl have to live with?

The bus driver has enough of a job trying to watch the road and get to the destination on time. This problem is nation wide. My six year old grand daughter was hit with bully's last year. The problem has no age precidence as far as I can tell.

The cost of violence is so great, and yet the school budget is seldom a topic that parent's wish to vote on. When the teen age girls are bent on taking over a bus without thought of retribution from parents or the legal system, I believe it is time for the bus driver's to have law enforcement officers on the bus. When we look at the crime level for certain districts, we can see where help is needed. It is time for the schools to stop turning a blind eye and realize that bus driver's can not be responsible for everything any more.

I strongly feel that some of these children, teens and young aduls are totally desensitized to any form of discipline. Moral rights and wrongs are lost in the shuffle to 'It's all about me'. The Golden Rule is a joke to these people.

So, what is our part Christian woman and man? Prayer for the hearts of our next generation is a must. Prayers for guidance and for the safety of our children and all who are connected with the school systems.

It is time for parent's to take to the school board meetings and speak up. We spend our money on taxes for school and yet our children are being bullied and beaten just to get to the schools. It is obvious there is not enough supervision. I write this knowing that I do not have all the answers, but I speak the obvious.

Those same children, teens and young adults who participate in hazing rituals, bullying, and such will one day be grown up people. What are they going to contribute to society? Why are we spending so much money to send our children to school if they are to be beaten or killed by those who have no interest in learning?

The bible says to train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. We need to teach our children that God is more than just a loving God...he is also a Righteous God and punishes sin. When a nation turns away from teaching our children what God has to say about right and wrong, we will find a generation that cares nothing for anything but their own needs and wants. Violence is the obvious conclusion.

'Always tell'

2012-01-05T10:00:00.000-05:00

The woman stood silently beneath the branches of the mighty oak tree that overlooked the park. This was where her childhood began. This was also where her childhood innocence had ended. She closed her eyes against the images of the past. It was so long ago and much had transpired to heal her of the savage brutality of sexual abuse. Yet, at times when the trees were bare of leaves and the wind whistled through this park; she could see the rape as if it were in front of her.

'Mommy, can I go swing on the swings now?' little Audrey looked up at her mother with excitement and joy. Leah took a deep breath and willed the bad images away. She reached down and touched her daughter's back and sent her on her way.

The little town of Cottonwood Corners was populated by about 30 thousand people. It was small and boasted of the title 'Hometown USA' the previous year. People came from miles around to vacation in the clean fresh mountain air and fish in the lake nearby. Campfires could be seen for most of the year as it seldom grew cold enough for snow.

Cottonwood Park was maintained and nurtured by the local park rangers. It was closed from dusk till dawn. The park had the usual swings and slides among other park equipment. Bathrooms were not far away from the play area. The grills were placed a safe distance from the play area yet close enough for parents of young children to oversee them as they made a barbecue picnic.

Leah's family had been one of the original settlers of this town. The cemetary held several large headstones of her ancestors who came here from England to settle in the brave new world.

The park bench was a bit cool that day as Leah sat and focused on her daughter's activity. Audrey had been teasing to go to the park for a week. They lived in the downtown section of town where their apartment window overlooked the park entrance. It must have seemed like a fun park to her daughter's eye, much as it once had seemed to her.

'It is a fun place to be.' Leah said out loud. Leah thought back to the way she had responded at first to her ordeal. She had kept quiet out of guilt and shame. She had thought she was dirty and had somehow done something wrong but couldn't figure out what. Now, she had the knowledge she needed to teach her own daughter some things that every child needs to know. The time was now and she had a plan.

Soon, Audrey got tired and went to sit with her mother on the park bench. She sat leaning against her mother and swinging her feet. 'Audrey, I want to have a very serious grown up talk with you. It is very important.'

'What?' Audrey stared up at her mother wondering if she had done something wrong. 'Is it something I did?' she asked.

Leah smiled and shook her head no. 'No, it is a lesson you need to learn though. Every child needs to learn this. It is about how God made you to be a present for someone else. Do you know what we do with presents?'

'We give them away?' Audrey asked.

'Before we do that. Now, think real hard Audrey. Pretend we all ready have the present. Now, before we give it away what do we do with the present?' Leah asked.

'Oh, I know! We wrap it!' Audrey grinned knowing she had guessed right.

'That is right! It is the same thing with our bodies. It is ok for everyone to see our face and hands and feet arms and legs, but some parts of our bodies are meant to be a present just for a husband or wife when we grow up. Those parts need to be kept wrapped up. Do you understand?' Leah waited to see if Audrey did in fact understand.

Audrey sat for a moment. 'I remember you told me all about modesty and why I can't swim naked with Joey. Is that so I can be his present when I grow up?' Audrey made a face , 'YUK!'

Leah laughed and said, 'Well, I do not know who you are going to marry or even if you are going to marry. But modesty is important. But, what I am trying to tell you is why it is important.'

Suddenly a group of squirrels began chattering and Audrey's attention went to the squirrels for a moment. She turned back 'I am supposed to be modest and stay wrapped up cause someday I might be someone's present. But, what if something happens and I lose my clothes? Does that mean I can't be a special present?'

'If someone ever trys to steal your clothes or touch you under those clothes without your permission, you need to always tell me or your father. It won't mean you are in trouble or that you are spoiled Audrey. It will mean someone did something terribly wrong and you need to always tell someone. Your body belongs to you and no one is allowed to touch it or see it, except when your parents help with a bath or helping to get you dressed. But, if someone else trys to take a peek then you try to run away and always tell on them. You won't be in trouble, they will. Always always tell! Do you understand?'

Audrey stared at the swings for a long time. 'Always tell, I get it. My body is a present that stays wrapped up until I grow up and be married. If someone trys to unwrap me, I always tell you. Always tell, always tell, always tell, stay wrapped up, stay wrapped up, always tell.! Is that good?' Audrey looked up at her mother in a serious way.

'Good girl. Now here is a test...what if they tell you they will hurt your parents if you tell on them?'

Audrey thought a moment. 'Why would they do that?'

'It is just a test, what would you do?' her mother said.

'Always tell! Stay wrapped up, I am a present, always tell!'

'I'll race you to the slide!' Leah took off pretending to run fast. Audrey ran as fast as possible and reached the slide first.

Leah stayed at the park for another hour laughing and pushing her daughter on the swing. Audrey laughed and enjoyed the afternoon with her mother. The message her mother gave her wasn't scary to Audrey. Yet, she would never forget that she is indeed a special present and if someone tried to unwrap her or worse, she would always tell.