Crazy Messy Beautiful

A Word for the New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Thu, 31 Dec 2020 13:06:00 +0000

With 2020 leaving (can I get an “Amen”) and 2021 about to start, it is that time of year when I sit and ponder. I think about the past year and the word that the Lord gave me. Do you have a word for the year that you keep in the forefront of your mind? Perhaps a phrase that helps guide and direct you to grow as a person or in your faith journey?

For 2020 the Lord gave me the phrase “year of favor”. I had a hard time accepting that declaration with the chaos and uncertainty swirling about me. Where is this favor, Lord, that you promised me? I felt stress, I felt a shaking in my core, I was unsettled and scared. We had huge changes within our family that I did not know how to traverse, my spirit was weary and on top of it all, there was a worldwide pandemic. How can this be favor?

And then He showed me.

It is in the quiet of the morning when I sit before Him and He hears my prayers and counts my tears. It is in the grocery aisle as what I need is available. It is in the checkbook as I have enough to pay the bills and to help others. It is in the laughter of my children, the steadfast love of my husband, the goodness and grace of my ever present Lord. It is in the new relationships I am cultivating and the seasoned relationships I cherish. Favor is in the slowness that this year brought to appreciate the little things, and in the beautiful creation that surrounds me. His goodness is in each new sunrise and every painted sunset. God’s mercy is in His promise to never leave or forsake us. His favor is in the prayers of those who surround us with their love and encouragement, who sharpen us to be better than we were yesterday, and who help point us to the Light when the world has gone dark. His favor has been to bring people into my life who are vastly different than me, who have opposing views, to welcome them into my home and around my table, to lavish love on them and be a bridge builder. This is what favor looks like. He uses me, in my weakness and inability, in my brokenness and mess, to still spread His love.

His favor permeates my life and I needed that word for this year in particular, a reminder, an Ebenezer to help me not forget that the Lord is with me, wherever I go, whatever I go through. He graciously comes alongside me during my struggles, showing me that these too will work together for good. That is His favor. To be able to rest in Him and His love, no matter what this year brought or what next year will bring. When I take my eyes off of Him, that is when I falter and fail. That is when my mind begins to spiral and my spirit loses hope. I focus on my circumstances, which are ever changing, rather than anchoring myself in the only thing in this life that is unwavering. Once I fix my eyes on Christ and surrender it all at His feet, then I have a lasting peace. I can traverse the storm that engulfs me, knowing, He will see me through, just as He has all the storms before.

He gives me a crown of beauty instead of ashes,

the oil of joy instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

He promises that I will be called an oak of righteousness,

a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

He doesn't say that it will be easy, or that life will be without heartaches, struggles or pain.

But He promises to be there in the midst of it all, being a place of refuge.

Christmas has drawn to a close, my home still reflects the light and joy of the season, and the house is quiet... so I sit. I sit with my Savior and ask Him where He wants to grow me. What truth does He want me to learn about His character over the next 365 days? What treasure will He bring that will help me understand more fully the riches of His goodness and grace?

I encourage you to do the same. Be still and quiet before Him, listen in your spirit to the word He wants to speak to your heart this year. Write it down, meditate upon it, and then watch Abba reveal Himself to you in a mighty way no matter what this year may bring.

Farther along we'll know all about it

Farther along we'll understand why

So cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine

We'll understand this, all by and by.

Onward into a New Year,

Dawna

Cultivating Calm in the Midst of Crisis

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Wed, 03 Jun 2020 15:30:00 +0000

The world turned upside down overnight. Confidence was replaced with anxiety and calm was overtaken by fear. I witnessed it in the grocery store as shelves were emptied and saw it in people's eyes walking by. I heard it in a Momma's voice as she wondered if her child had COVID but was unable to get testing due to not meeting the required criteria.

It's been months since COVID came to our shores and yet the fear still lingers.

I live in a state made up of small businesses with one of the oldest populations in the country. COVID has left it's mark here drastically. Many Mom and Pop businesses are closing after being the hearts of their communities for decades. People are afraid for their jobs, for their health, and for our economy. Much of our state still remains closed. My son doesn't know when his workplace will reopen, and the dentist cancelled for a second time to push our appointments out till the end of summer stating it may change again depending on the coronavirus. There is talk of not opening the public schools back up next fall and switching to online learning. We don't know what the new normal will be and sitting in this state of unknown breeds anxiety.

In the midst of all of the hullabaloo, I cannot give myself over to fear and panic. I have six people who call me "Mom" who are looking for guidance and stability in an ever changing world. Here is how I stay calm in the midst of COVID or other times of crisis.

1. Focus on the JOY.

It is so easy to be swallowed up by all that is not going right with the world that we can lose sight of what is still lovely. In our home, we write in our thankfulness journal in order to keep "that which is good", in the forefront of our minds. It delights me to see the joy my children receive from the simple things. Homemade cookies, the chirping of birds, flowers blooming in the garden, laughter shared around a campfire, a zoom meeting with friends... these are all things we have been thankful for recently.

2. Limit media.

We can quickly become overwhelmed with the amount of information coming at us. We need to be wise about our media intake. I have set times when I look at the news to update myself with what is going on in the world. I take note of the most recent suggestions by the governor, check in on a few areas of interest or concern, and then turn it off.

I think it is common in a crisis to want to stay up to date on what is going on but we have information coming at us 24/7 and it is easy to be consumed by it. Not to mention, we have to filter what is trustworthy and accurate. We were not designed to process so much information all the time. By stepping back and limiting the amount of news (this includes social media) and possible stress in life, it fosters peace.

3. Be the LOVE.

Small gestures go a long way to spread love and confidence. It could be a kind word or a simple deed (baking something for a neighbor, a bouquet of flowers for a friend, a thank you card for an essential worker, a larger tip for the server bringing you take-out, etc.). This is a time when, more than ever, we need to practice more forgiveness and grace. Assume the best of others, notice the good in those around you, and be compassionate to your fellow man as well as to yourself. Kindness eases anxiety.

4. SMILE!

Don't underestimate the power of a simple smile. It is a universal language understood by everyone around the world. Smiling sends a message of hope and joy without needing to say anything at all, plus, it is contagious. Smiling reduces stress hormones and makes us feel better, thus effecting our emotions and our overall health.

I know many of us are wearing masks these days while out in public and it is hard to tell facial expressions. However, our eyes often smile when we do. By continuing to beam in the midst of adversity, I cultivate calm in my spirit and hopefully in others.

5. Process.

It is only natural for fears and anxieties to rise up when life is shaken. It is important to take time to process our emotions. Talking about what is making me afraid allows me to get it all out in the open. Whether I call a friend, chat with my husband before bed, meet up on zoom with a loved one, or listen to my kids process their fears around the dining room table, we need to have these conversations. At times when verbalizing my thoughts are difficult I find that drawing or writing out feelings can also be very healing.

By getting our fear out into the light we can see it for what it is and then deal with it. It helps us see what is in our control and what is not. Those things that are not in our control get surrendered. I do what I can with what I have (my time, energy, and resources) and then beyond that, I need to lay the rest down.

6. Practice self care.

Self care is important to practice in our day to day lives and becomes even more so in times of crisis.

For me, I am my best self when I am a good steward of my physical body by sustaining it with rejuvenating sleep, mindful eating, and daily movement. To nurture my inner self I take time to recharge, manage my stress, maintain healthy boundaries, cultivate joy, and have time alone with God. These things all together help me thrive even under harsh conditions.

Take some time to think about what you need for your own self care and then begin to take steps to making those needs a priority. It is not selfish, it is important for your health and the health of those around you that you take care of you.

7. Connect with Others

We were not meant to go through life alone. During this time of isolation it is important to stay connected with others. Talking on the phone, messaging on social media, a Zoom or other online meeting, or visiting with a friend at a distance you are comfortable with are all ways we can stay in fellowship with those around us. It is such a boost to my spirit to be able to maintain connection with those I hold dear.

8. Breathe.

When emotions start rising and you feel out of control, focus on breathing. The four count breath is used in high stress situations in the military, for relaxation with yoga instructors, and has been of great benefit in my life when I just need to slow everything down. It is a very simple practice that has a big impact and it can be taught to others (it's an excellent resource for children) to help ease anxiety, fear, and anger.

So those are my go-to's that help me do hard things and get through difficult times.

What do you do to help cultivate calm during the stormy seasons of life and/or during COVID? I would love to hear your ideas in the comment section below.

Grace and peace to you,

Dawna

Hope from the Ashes

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Sat, 30 May 2020 13:09:00 +0000

"The heartaches of this past year have taken a toll. Pain struck me to my core and I was left shaken, unsure of if I was strong enough to get through it."

I read the above words from a journal entry I wrote a few years ago and I find myself in the same place today, just different circumstances.

How many times have I come back to this question:

Am I strong enough?

Am I strong enough to survive the stresses life blindsides me with when I least expect it? Strong enough to walk through the nightmares when they are close to becoming reality? Strong enough to be the Momma my children need, the wife my husband deserves, the friend my friends can count on?

The pediatric specialist walked into the exam room with neon yellow shoes and a rainbow colored bow tie. His outfit was so cheerful and filled with hope, but his words brought darkness and fear. He bluntly told me to prepare myself for a long road ahead. An x-ray had shown a mass in my seven year old daughter's lower spinal region. He was going to schedule an MRI to measure the mass and get more details. The doctor began his monologue, spelling out important words for me to remember. My pen furiously tried to keep up, leaving a stream of ink across the page as my brain attempted to make sense of everything he was saying. When he said “tumor” and "cancer" the blood rushed to my head, drowning out the noise in the room. I struggled to catch my breath and wipe the tears stinging my eyes when I looked beside me at my daughter. Her doe-like, brown eyes were large as saucers and she began to shake as she clutched her favorite stuffed animal a little closer.

Watching her lose her joy that day was one of the hardest things I have had to endure.

I felt like Alice falling through the rabbit hole, grasping at whatever I could hold onto to slow it all down. It was so surreal.

Cancer is no stranger of mine. My Mom battled it twice and my dear mother in law went home to Glory because of stage 4 colon cancer. I've seen friends and family walk through it many times... but I was not prepared to see my daughter have to fight such a battle.

Am I strong enough to be the Momma she needs me to be?

The stress of the numerous tests, the waiting, and the unknown were palpable in our home. The things we thought were solid were shaken and tested, our marriage began crumbling, and it all seemed too much to bear.

We rallied a small group of trusted family and friends around us to pray and be our support system, because we were not strong enough to do this alone.

Fast forward three years. My daughter is almost 10 years old now, her cancer scare was just that. An awful nightmare that was short lived. And yet, even though it was only a few months, it was long enough to rob my daughter of her confidence, long enough to shake my marriage to it's very core, long enough to let fear enter in and become a companion in our home. Fear if the mass came back, fear if my marriage would survive, fear if the sparkle would return to my daughter's eyes, fear if everything I knew would fall apart. It was such a wake up call to realize just how quickly life can unravel.

I have learned that it is in the unraveling that something beautiful happens.

Strength and resilience grow if we press on through the hardship to see what the Lord has for us on the other side. Like a forest after it has gone through a fire, after a time of rest and healing, new life is brought forth that springs from soil that is all the more richer because of what was first seen as damaging.

The painful places of our lives

are the ones that cause life giving change.

Through adversity we find what we are made of, we discover who our true friends are, and we become acutely aware of what we believe. We see new and beautiful seeds spring up from the desolate ground, ones that have adapted to hardship.

Trees that have been through the flame develop thicker bark so they don't burn as easily. Plants that have come forth from fire ravaged soil have deeper, more extensive root systems. Fascinatingly, there are even some types of pine trees that can only germinate if there is fire. The pines produce cones that are glued tightly with resin. Those cones can remain attached to the tree for YEARS and it is only when a fire comes, with heat that is strong enough to melt the resin, that those seeds will be released. The life inside is contingent upon intense trial.

How true is that for us?

We have gifts inside of us that are dependent upon the fire of adversity

to activate that which lies hidden.

Until the fire comes, those gifts will remain dormant.

My fire has been a hard season of personal surrender. Surrendering the known for the unknown. Surrendering the safe for the vulnerable.

I cry out through parched lips asking "why?", pounding the ground with clenched fists because letting go means I must yield that which is most precious to me. My very life and the lives of those I love.

I can no longer keep this bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh unscathed, but if I am honest with myself, I cannot keep anyone completely safe. How would they learn? How would they grow?

I need to trust that the fires we have to walk through will bring truth and understanding. The adversity we face will, in time, make us stronger and our faith that is faltering will become steadfast. I have hope in that truth. But as a Momma it is a lot easier to experience these trials myself than to watch those I love walk through them.

The same God who strengthened me during the uncertainty with my daughter is sustaining me now. The same faithful tribe of friends who prayed over her are girding us with their prayers, pouring out their love, and strengthening me so I can keep putting one foot in front of the other.

The searing heat of the flame once again licks at my skin and threatens to overtake me. I know this pain will last for a while, but beauty will rise up from the ashes, and truth will endure.

I stand and remind my children that our roots run deep, our bark is tougher than it was previously as we've learned from the numerous blazes before this one. Our scars prove that we are survivors. Beside us stands our tribe and before us goes our God. It feels good to know that we don't have to be strong enough. God is for us and He is our strength. He will give us what we need when we need it. We take each day as it comes and we no longer shrink back in fear from the fire. We allow it to serve its purpose...there are seeds waiting to be set free from their slumber.

"He will bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of joy

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the Lord

for the display of his splendor."

Isaiah 61:3

Hopeful in the midst of the fire,

Dawna

Beauty in the Broken

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Tue, 05 May 2020 19:20:00 +0000

Winter worn fields lay colorless and unkempt, the dry stalks of last years splendor were crunching underneath each step I took. I saw her twisted form at the corner of the field, a leafless, irregular figure winding up to the heavens. Clearly her life had been a journey... one of struggle as she sought after the light.

To the left and right there were straight trees, evergreens, and trees that bore fruit but her branches were stripped white. Her leaves long gone from giving year after year. The evidence piled at the base of her trunk, memories of days filled with more hope and promise lay buried in the brambles that had overtaken her feet.

I can relate to that tree. My life has taken so many unexpected turns. At first the path is bright and full of expectancy until trials come that bring darkness, doubt, and fear.

Marital struggles, cancer, loss of a job, pandemic, loss of a loved one, depression, Alzheimers, miscarriage, anxiety. Everyday life can turn upside down in a minute and the joy we experienced just yesterday can be replaced with the inky blackness of fear. The kind that overtakes and threatens to blot out even the slightest hint of assurance.

When perspective is lost it is easy to become ensnared by poor thinking and get stuck.

In these circumstances I have found it vital to rely on others, be in God's Word, and listen to the still, small voice inside to help me push back the shadow, trudge through the prickly snares and find my way once again.

Each struggle is different from the one before. Some last for a season and others a moment but how we traverse each is significant. The key is to keep moving (even if it is just baby steps), rather than staying put and conforming to that around us. Just as the tree bends and moves to find the best path to reach the sunlight in order to survive, we must do the same.

This bending and readjusting is a journey. We learn a lot about what we believe and about ourselves along the way. The turbulent times are not always huge catastrophic events. Often times, the struggle is in the day to day moments. For me this can come in the form of anxiety tapping on my shoulder while doing the dishes, whispering in my ear and pointing out my short comings, telling me that I am not good enough. Fear and doubt creep up close and with them they bring the shadow. My brain goes in a hundred different directions thinking of various scenarios where I could have done better. Before I know it I have been blindsided by the darkness. The thorny brambles start to pull and tug, piercing the exposed parts of myself that are so sensitive. "If only you had done this or said that". I start going down old, destructive paths when I realize how much I hate those feelings of shame, confusion, and agitation. I exhale the trepidation as I reevaluate. I remind myself of the truth, I look for the joy, and the gloom starts to dissipate taking with it the brambles that were becoming ensnared in my mind. The darkness flees and I am in bathed in the light once again.

I breathe in deeply the goodness of grace

and with it the life giving breath of hope.

As I surrender my worry and fear

to the God who sees me,

I find

rest for my soul.

Life is messy, complicated, and uncertain. But we don't grow without pain. It is through the trials where we are refined and it is in these moments of uncertainty where we realize our need for Him and for others. Reality is that oftentimes our faith is messy and falters. Do not lose hope!

Hold onto FAITH,

even if it is unraveling.
For when all that remains is but a thread,
that is where God is.

Cling to that remnant... for it can be made whole again. Surround yourself with those who will intercede for you while you are being restored, don't hide the struggle. They will help you stay in the light and speak words to you that will make your soul stronger. They will allow you to ask hard questions and be real as your wavering faith struggles to find the truth.

In our weakness, as broken as we are, as fragile as our faith may be, God can still bring forth beautiful things.

The stark white trunk of the barren tree still stands. She did not fall over in spite of the winds buffeting her, her roots were strong. When the heavy winter snow threatened to break her she remained steadfast. Although she lacks leaves it did not keep her from offering her branches as a sanctuary to the birds of the air. She stands at the edge of the field, her form offering hope and healing for my weary heart, a reminder of what the Lord can do with a broken vessel.

What truth do you need to remind yourself of today to keep the shadows from stealing your light? Please leave me a comment below.

Standing a little taller,
Dawna

Cultivating Friendship

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Thu, 23 Apr 2020 10:00:00 +0000

Do you know that you are valuable and loved? My heart has been thinking so much about how each of us longs to know and be known. We just want to be seen and accepted for who we are, where we are at. We come with our baggage of the past, the mess of today, and the worries about tomorrow. We have wounds that have yet to heal amidst the joy that we long to share with others. We come with stretch marks, extra pounds, acne, and morning breath and we just long to be loved without having to be perfect, without having to clean it all up. We yearn for a friend who will sit with us, hear our story, and love us anyway. Can you resonate with this?

In my life, I have longed for deep, authentic relationships. I have so wanted to just be real with others and not have them look at me like I have two heads and run off in the other direction. I prayed for these relationships and you know what… it felt like God didn't hear me. That is when I became intentional. I looked around me at the people I was surrounded by and I said to myself, where are others who are seeking the same thing?

It has taken some trial and error to find those who genuinely want to swim in the deep with me, but I am blessed beyond measure to have a handful of faithful friends who really know me, who really see me, and who in spite of all of the junk, they love me. We can share our fears together and offer encouragement. We listen to one another’s heart without judgement and therein, find refuge for our souls. I had prayed for these relationships and expected them to come to me and when they didn't, I assumed God did not hear my prayers. When in reality, these lovely souls had been a part of my life for a while but we had yet to get to know each other at a deeper level and once we did, it was like "Oh... there you are! You are what I have been praying for."

I want to encourage you today that if you find yourself longing for something more, be the first one to take the risk and be vulnerable. Reach out to that woman you admire, or to the friend who breathes life into you but you just cannot seem to meet up with on a regular basis. Tell them your longing. Say something like, “It is really on my heart to meet with others who desire to be vulnerable and real. I feel like you are someone who also seeks that. Would you like to join me for coffee once a week (once a month… whatever works for you) just to meet and talk about what is on our hearts?” I know this is scary and there is a very real possibility for rejection however, there is also a very real opportunity for connection. There is an opportunity for newly formed friendships that go beyond the superficial and breathe life into you at a core level. The scary things in our life can actually become the most sacred if we are willing to be vulnerable and take the risk. I’ve been learning this valuable wisdom from the amazing Leanna Tankersly, you can pick up her book here.

As you begin to form new relationships that edify and uplift, I would also like to encourage you to assess your current relationships. Are these relationships life giving? Are you spending time with those who are most important to you? Often times I have found that I have allowed myself to be surrounded with people who are not life giving. In fact, rather than adding to… they take from. There can be a time for relationships such as these however, the majority of our time should not be spent with people who drain the life out of us. It is okay to stop and identify those people that are most important to us and then make sure we are making the time to invest in these relationships. Part of practicing self care is to cultivate friendships. Decide what it is that you want and then go find it in those around you. Invite them to share in something significant and special and watch as a gateway opens up.

With love,

Dawna

Ways to Love Others Well

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Wed, 20 Feb 2019 21:06:00 +0000

Love is both a noun and a verb. Today I will be talking more about the verb side of love, as in how we can build intimacy with those in our lives and help them thrive. I will be relating this post mainly to children today but the tips below can be helpful in any relationship.

When I think of the children the Lord has blessed me with, I see how vastly different they are from one another. They look different, act different, learn differently from one another, and their love languages are different. It takes time studying them, making mistakes, and being able to talk with them about what they enjoy and how best to enter their world. Here are my top 5 tips of showing love to my tribe.

1. Communication

Entering another person’s world and being able to listen and talk with them about their interests, likes, dislikes, fears, accomplishments, etc. is key to growing a relationship. By getting to know others, you are investing into their lives and letting them know you care.
In our home we have an open door policy. I let my children know they can come to me with anything at any time. Some of my children are more natural at talking than others. So, it is important that I am patient with those who are more introverted. When they are ready to have an in depth conversation it is often spur of the moment, late at night,... and it can be a long conversation. I want to make sure I am available when they need/want to have these heart to heart moments.

These discussions are pivotal for building trust and are an amazing in road to your child’s heart. The same goes for other relationships in our life. When we take the time to listen to others we are letting them know that we are a safe place for their heart.
I encourage you strongly to make yourself available to your children whether they are talking about the superficial or deeper, harder things. When they know they can trust you with the little things, then they will come to you with the bigger things.

Great communication starts with listening.

Dr. Stephen Covey, in his book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, said it best when he wrote

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

I am a recovering peace maker. It is my default to want to jump in and offer advice or help in order to try to make things better (a.k.a “fix things”). However, it often works best for me to keep my mouth shut while the other person shares, especially my children. Then, when the time is right or when asked, I will offer my advice. (This is easier said than done.) If I am unsure if someone wants my advice, I will ask “Are you asking for my advice or do you just need a listening ear?” This seemingly simple question is huge for building a strong relationship.

2. Pursue

If you want to get to know someone then you need to engage them. With children, attend their games, join in a hobby together, take them out on a date, sit on the edge of their bed at night and ask them about their day. With other relationships go out to coffee, plan to do an activity together, pick up the phone and give your friend a call. Spend uninterrupted time with those you want to know better. Get together, one on one, so you can really get to know them more deeply.
When you do engage others, BE IN THE MOMENT. Put your phone in it’s docking station and walk away from it or silence it if you are out together. Give the person you are with your undivided attention. Don’t be thinking about what you need to make for dinner, the bills that need to be paid, or about the argument you had with your boss that day. Be present.

Pursuing also includes checking in on them when they are having a hard day. Touch base and let them know that you see their pain and ask if they want to talk or if you can help. Sometimes they may open up, other times they want their space, but asking really shows that you care and that you notice. Often times they end up wanting to talk later on once they have had time to process.

3. Healthy Physical Touch

There are SO MANY studies that show the importance of physical touch. We have receptors under our skin and when we receive positive touch our heart rate lowers, our breathing slows down, stress hormones decrease, and our immune system boosts. Touch lowers anxiety and depression, especially in children. If you have a child who isn’t “huggy” so to speak, they may be unsettled by unexpected touch but they might enjoy a hug if you ask first. The fact is that humans need physical touch. Touch signals safety and trust and is directly linked to feelings of reward and compassion. It has even been proven that NBA players who touched more won more games.

We hug a lot in our family. We hug when we are happy, when we are sad, and when we are upset. When my children are showing anger I will ask for permission to hug them or rub their back, sometimes they say yes and sometimes they say no. Make sure you respect their “no”.

A hug, a pat on the back, holding hands, high fives, putting your hand on their shoulder,… there are many ways to touch others in a way that lets them know you care and are supporting them.

4. Boundaries

As we invest in the lives of others it is important to have boundaries. Children will naturally test their limits as they strive to become more independent and it is our job as parents to teach them how to test their limits respectfully. Part of having clear boundaries is having a routine to follow. When children know what to expect in their day it gives them a sense of security. The same goes for our other relationships in life. When people know what our boundaries are, it makes for more harmonious relationships.

Brene Brown, in her book Rising Strong, defines boundaries as:

“simply our lists of what’s okay and what’s not okay.”

It is an easy definition that is helpful not matter what your age is. The people in your life will have boundaries of their own that they express and need you to respect. A child might say “ I don’t want to share my stuffed bunny with friends. It is my favorite toy and I am afraid it will get ruined if I share it." That is a healthy boundary. You can let them know that when friends are over the bunny will stay in the bedroom, where friends do not go, and therefore will be safe.

When friends come over to our home we let them know that their children are welcome to play in the common areas of our home but that our upstairs is off limits. Our children know this rule as well so they know what to expect and there won’t be resentment later on when friends arrive and ask to play upstairs in the bedrooms and we say “no”. Being up front with others about our expectations helps us love well.

5. Consequences

Hand in hand with boundaries comes consequences. Everything we do, whether good or bad, has a consequence. A consequence is simply the result of an action.Allowing others to experience the impact of their actions is how they are going to learn what to do and what not to do, it can be a painful way to love but it brings about growth both in ourselves and those we are in relationship with.

If you don’t have firm consequences then your boundaries will mean nothing. We need to back up our boundaries with ramifications if we want healthy relationships.

"Consequences give some good "barbs" to fences. They let people know the seriousness of the trespass and the seriousness of our respect for ourselves."

(Boundaries p. 40)

By giving consequences when people overstep their bounds, it helps teach them that we are committed to living according to the values that we have set for ourselves and that we intend on protecting/guarding those values.

We can give consequences with a calm voice and with empathy and understanding. Consequences are not punishments, they are not based out of anger or fear. Consequences are loving and are for teaching.

Consequences teach accountability. In regards to children, we keep the consequences in our home as natural or related to the misbehavior (logical) as possible. Natural consequences are consequences that happen naturally, without any adult intervention. If your child refuses to wear mittens, their hands get cold. If you child insists on not eating their sandwich, they feel hungry.

In adult relationships the circumstances may be a little different but still, it is best to allow natural consequences to play out. If your roommate consistently stays up late in spite of needing to wake early for work, don't be their alarm clock. The natural consequence is that they are late to work.

*It is important to note that sometimes we need to step in to protect those around us from the natural consequences of their dangerous behavior. Grabbing the keys so a friend doesn't drink and drive or making sure your child doesn't chase a ball out into the street are examples of situations when we don't let the natural consequence play out. Use common sense in these situations.

With natural consequences, avoid lectures, ( “I told you so”) and stay out of the way as much as possible. Rather than blaming or shaming the other person when they experience a natural consequence, empathize with them. “You must’ve been cold today without your mittens. There’s hot water on the stove for cocoa or tea if you’d like something to warm you up”. Or simply say nothing at all and just let it be.

Don't forget, praise is also a natural consequence and it is amazing what a few simple words can do to encourage someone.

"Thank you for bringing in the groceries for me, that was such a huge help ".

"That was so kind of you to share your crayons with your sister."

"Thank you for taking notes for me at the staff meeting I missed while I was sick. I really appreciate it."

In a world that is rushing past us all the time it is easy to just notice what is not going well, but if we take the time to notice the good and praise it... we will build up those around us and encourage more kindness.

Relationships are so important to our every day lives. In order to love others well we need to be willing to listen, engage people in conversation and activities, offer the gift of healthy touch, set clear boundaries and follow them up with consequences.

What are some ways you love others in your life? Please feel free to leave a comment below.

Thankful for the gift of you!
With love,
Dawna

Creating A Daily Routine

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Fri, 08 Feb 2019 11:30:00 +0000

It is so good to be back with you, thank you for taking time out of your day to join me. Last week we talked about the value of routines and today I will share with you how to to create a daily routine that reflects what is important to you.

The first step is to take a few moments to consider what makes you feel accomplished at the end of the day. For me, if my home is tidy, the children have been taught, people are fed, laughter is heard, and self care has happened, I feel like I have checked all my boxes. As a homeschooling Mom my day is going to look different than the single woman who is working hard to start up her own business, or the newlywed who cuts hair by day and goes to nursing school at night, or the empty nester who is finally opening that art studio she's always dreamed of. As a person who struggles with comparison sometimes I see what others are doing and I try to fit that into my world when in reality, I know that won't work for me. At least, not during this season. Make sure your routine is reflecting YOUR reality and not someone else's.

Also, keep in mind that there are varying degrees to which we feel accomplished depending on the day. Some days are better than others, so be kind to yourself and give grace on the hard days. When my insomnia has kept me up all night I know the next day is going to be rough. On those days a tidy house is equivalent to the dishes making it in the dishwasher, school looks like the children listening to an audio book together while eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and self care is a nap. It is important to remain flexible and to be able to tweak your routine from day to day (or even hour to hour if necessary) as your time and energy changes.

After I have thought about what makes me feel accomplished when my head hits the pillow at night, I think about a normal day. What happens regularly? What do I do day in and day out? What are the normal rhythms of our household?

I make note of what is working well and what I would like to change. When I first started creating my daily routine I was trying to exercise in the evening and it was not happening. By the time evening came I had zero energy. It is an important goal of mine to be more fit so I needed to move exercising into a realistic time frame where I had more energy, therefore, I bumped it to my morning routine which has been successful .

Sometimes just moving things around from one time frame to another provides the freedom we need to achieve our goals. Don't be afraid to adjust as needed as you figure out what works for you.

In our home, the way we tackle the day is to divide it into chunks. I am not a super scheduled person so my life revolves more around routines and rhythms than it does the clock. However, there are times of the day that are reference points for me.

We have a morning routine, chore routine, school routine, afternoon routine, and evening routine. Our weekends look a little different than our weekdays since I am not teaching school, but the basics remain the same.

Here is an example of my current morning routine:
Drink a glass of water
Make Bed
Coffee Time w Hubby
Work Out
Shower/Dress
Prep Breakfast
Wake up the minions
Start a load of laundry
Eat Breakfast and start chores

Then we move into our chore routine and so on and so forth.

Another tip is to be realistic. I used to have a “to-do” list a mile long and by the end of the day I would feel frustrated and defeated. Now I keep my list simple. I choose the 3 most important tasks to complete for the day and number them in order of importance. That way if the day goes topsy turvy and I am only able to complete task #1, I know that I was able to get the most important thing done. Again, depending on the day, this can vary. If I didn't sleep well the night before then a nap might be my #1 or if I have an abundance of energy my #1 might be to tackle the budget.

I think it is important to remember that you are in control of the routine vs. it being in control of you. Remain flexible . If I end up needing more sleep then I allow myself to sleep in and I adapt the routine. It’s all good. The overall basis is that I have set up healthy habits in our home that keep things running smoothly. Our goal is not perfection, our goal is “good enough”.

Each day I do what I can, with what I have available to me (my time, energy, and resources). Give yourself grace on the journey and know that every day is redeemable. If you veer off course from where you want to be just take a few deep breaths, refocus, and get back on track. Don’t do all the things that you missed… just pick up where you are at and keep moving forward. For example: if my morning went down the drain and it is now lunch time, then I pick up with lunch and move forward. No guilt, no regrets, just acceptance that life happens.

Please, feel free to share what is working in your day to day routine or if you have any questions, give me a shout out in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you!

With love,
Dawna

Chores with Children

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Mon, 04 Feb 2019 02:46:00 +0000

Each person in our family has opportunities to make contributions each day to bless our home and those within it. By having a chore routine not only do we keep our home maintained but we also create a space that is inviting and welcoming. A place where we can play, relax, and invest in each other. Our goal is not perfection but rather good enough.

We have daily routines that help us keep rhythm and order not just in our home but also in our day to day lives. These habits help us to stay on course and not become overwhelmed.

Every morning after breakfast we all do our chores. To help know what needs to be done we have a chart to go to. Over the years our system has been tweaked and changed but the overall premise is the same. For us, that looks like having a spot in our home where there is a simply laid out plan of what each person needs to do.

Currently our system is a large magnetic board divided into equal sections, one for each child, with chores written on wooden craft sticks. Each craft stick has an age appropriate task written on it with a magnet on the back. The children all have the same basic chores (make bed, brush teeth, get dressed, take care of laundry, etc.) Then each child has a chore or two that is specific to their age level and we have a few daily tasks on their list as a reminder.

Here is an example of our five year old's tasks for the day. Everyone has the same basic morning tasks as well as their special responsibilities. He cannot read yet so I drew some simple pictures.

On the marker board along the bottom are our "zone cards". A simple, laminated, index card with vintage graphics that tells us the tasks that need to be completed for that area of the house. We bless our house by focusing on specific rooms during the week. The cards help remind us which zone we need to focus on that day. You can read more about how we bless each area of our home by reading this post.

Beside the zone cards there are a few laminated miscellaneous chore cards that I may need help with from time to time. They include things like:

filling the bird feeders

watering the indoor plants

weeding the garden

If I find that I need help with one of the above listed chores I just post it on the board for all the kids to see and they know there's a little extra task for the day.

When the children have completed their chores they ask an older sibling to "check off" on them. Which means, the older child checks the list and if that chore is completed they put their initials next to it using a dry erase marker. If it is not completed they put a ? which tells me that I need to check in with that child to see why they were not able to complete their task or if they simply forgot, in which case, they can go finish it. This system provides accountability and builds teamwork. It has worked very well for this season of our lives.

If the tribe wants to do screen time (devices/a program) or other activities, they know that their tasks must be initialed. This system helps keep everyone focused. If they ask to play screen time I just say "Well, let's go look at our board." It keeps life simple and establishes clear boundaries that have natural consequences.

So, that is a glimpse into our world. How do you do chores in your home? Do you have a system you want to share? I would love to hear all about it. :)

Learning alongside you,

Dawna

We Are What We Repeatedly Do

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Mon, 28 Jan 2019 11:00:00 +0000

“We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Will Durant

My home is like a ship. There are many tasks that go on in any given day and depending on how the tasks go and what the weather is like, the ship can sink or sail. Routines help our ship stay on course no matter what the day may bring.

With six children, it is important that everyone in our home knows their task, so if the captain is away, or sick… each person can perform their duties to the best of their ability and things will still carry on. The older kids even know my tasks so if I was down and out for a period of time, they could fill in and all would not be lost.

The best way I have been able to keep order in our home and chaos at a minimum, is to have simple routines in place. The emphasis being on simple… I want it to be manageable and easy to remember.

For me, this looks like dividing our world into chunks. We have a daily routine that is broken up into a morning routine, chore routine, school routine, afternoon routine, and evening routine.

Notice I am not using the word “schedule”.

I feel like schedules were confining and unrealistic for our family. I could not guarantee that at 9am we would be able to begin school because at 9am my toddler might be streaking naked through the house, the baby trying to eat the dog’s food, and my nine year old may have sustained yet another injury while doing stunts in the backyard as he was taking care of the compost.

Life in my house is unpredictable in many ways. I cannot account for every circumstance or situation but I can have a general idea of what the flow of the day will look like.

According to Webster’s dictionary a routine is a regular course of procedure. When you do something often enough, it becomes a habit. Good or bad, we all have habits and those habits are what become our routines. Sometimes bad habits creep into our daily routines. The good news is that when we recognize them we can make a change. Maybe staying up too late is becoming a habit and you are waking up drained, causing you to start pushing bedtime earlier so you can get the rest your body needs to start the day energized.

As seasons of life change, so do our routines. My routine with a newborn looks different than my routine once children are potty trained. My routine when I worked outside the home is different from how it looks now as a stay at home mom. My daily rituals will look different from yours because each person is in a different season of life and what is important to me may not be what is important to you.

In order to come up with a routine that realistically works, think about your day to day. What tasks need to happen? What are the basics that you want to accomplish each day that will add to your own personal peace? What are you already doing that is working? What are you doing that is not working? Are there goals that you would like to accomplish but haven’t taken any steps towards meeting? Right now, take note of what you accomplish each day. Jot down what you do during the week that you need to make time for, like grocery shopping, paying the bills, or coffee with your friends. What are you already doing that is a habit? Do you make your bed each morning? Do you schedule your conference calls for after lunch? Do you take a walk after dinner? Maybe there are habits you want to change or goals that you want to achieve that you want to create a daily habit for, like exercising. Be mindful this week of what you do in your comings and goings and please come back to join me next week as I share my daily routine along with tips on how I stay on track during the hard days.

Please feel free to reach out and ask questions or share what is working for you in your day to day by using the comments section below this post! :)

May peace be yours,

Dawna

Tried and True Christmas Cookie Recipes

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Sat, 08 Dec 2018 11:00:00 +0000

Photo by severyanka at pixabay

The Christmas tree is glowing warmly with it's colorful lights and the scent of pine fills the air. Cozy blankets are draped over the couches awaiting little ones to curl up in them as night falls and the wind beckons to come inside. These are the days where we don sweaters, wear comfy socks, and have soup for suppah'. While the soup simmers and the tea kettle sings I gather my sweet ones about me and let them help gather ingredients. Dimpled hands plunk butter and flour onto the counter. Older children grab the eggs and my eager six year old fetches his favorite ingredient... SUGAR! It is cookie baking weather and while Bing croons in the background, we whip up our holiday favorites to hand out to friends and family and hold back enough to enjoy ourselves. So grab your favorite cuppa and join us for our favorite recipes of the season.

Dawna's Sugar Cookie Recipe

Christmas Cookies by Jill111 @ pixabay

Makes 45 cut cookies or 24 drop cookies

1 cup butter

1 cup granulated sugar

1 large egg

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp vanilla

2 and 3/4 cup flour

1/2 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a large bowl cream the butter and sugar with an electric mixer. Beat in the egg and the vanilla. Add baking powder and flour, one cup at a time, mixing after each addition. Dough will be stiff; blend last bit off flour in by hand. No need to chill dough.

Divide dough into 2 balls. On a floured surface roll each ball into a circle, 12 inches in diameter and about 1/8" thick. Cut and bake 6 to 7 minute for cut cookies and 8 to 10 minutes for drop cookies, or until edges are lightly browned.

Cool and frost if desired.

Dawna's Candy Cane Kiss Cookies

Use the recipe above for sugar cookies but:

Add 1 tsp peppermint extract in addition to the vanilla extract.

Stir in 1/2 cup chopped candy cane Hershey Kisses (about 20) into the dough before baking. (Optional: you will need another 24 whole Candy Cane Hershey Kisses to use as toppers for your cookies once they are finished baking.)

Use drop cookie method to scoop dough into 1 tsp round balls and bake for 8 to 10 minutes or till edges are lightly browned.

Let cookies cool for a few minutes. While cookies are still slightly warm, press a whole Hershey Kiss into the center of the cookie and pop them into the freezer for about 15 minutes so the Kiss doesn't melt. Enjoy!

Cocoa by Terri C via Pixabay

Mrs. Sigg's Snickerdoodles

We love a good cinnamon laden, buttery cookie with a warm cup of coffee or tea. These cookies remind me of my Aunt's house. She would always bake up a batch of cookies when I came to visit as a child and Snickerdoodles are one of her favorites. I discovered Mrs. Sigg's recipe years ago and it has become a family favorite. The only changes we make is to substitute butter for the shortening (yes, that makes a full cup of butter for these decadent cookies.) Also, I use baking powder instead of cream of tartar due to the acidic taste. These cookies come out HUGE and make an impressive addition to any cookie basket. :)

Big Soft Ginger Cookies

These cookies smell like snow to me. When the winter weather kicks in you can be assured that I will break out the molasses and ginger and bake a batch of these beautiful classic cookies that remind me of Grammy's house. The only substitute I make to the recipe is that I use butter instead of margarine because I prefer the taste and texture it gives to my baked goods.

Rolo Pretzel Turtles

A very easy but addicting treat made from 3 simple ingredients; rolos, pretzels, and M&Ms. My little ones LOVE to help make these. When we run out of Rolos we use the extra Candy Cane Kisses and make pretty red and white striped pretzel turtles. ;) The recipe is easily adaptable. You can use a pecan to top each turtle instead of an M&M, or you could use different mini candybars (Milkyway, Snickers, Almond Joy) instead of Rolos. Enjoy!

Classic Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

Been whipping up this recipe for over a decade. This is one of my husband's favorite cookies so it is a must that I bake a few batches at Christmas time even though it is a year round cookie in our home. Classics are great and this recipe will not fail you! Don't tell anyone else but these are awesome for breakfast too. ;)

Gluten Free Dairy Free Brownie Bites

If you have a friend or family member on your list who is gluten sensitive then look no further than these decadent brownie bites from Chocolate Covered Katie. I began my gluten free journey several years ago and this woman's blog saved my sanity when I needed a chocolate fix. Not only is Katie adorable, but she loves chocolate and makes it healthy! Zip on over and whip up these super simple bars and serve em' up at your next cookie swap. * I substitute almonds for walnuts in the recipe because I almost always have them on hand.*

Breakfast by Pexels at pixabay

Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies

King Arthur not only has a good gluten free flour blend, but they really mastered this recipe. It is hard to tell that this is a gluten free cookie. If you or someone you know has a gluten intolerance, give these a try. You'll be reaching for seconds in no time.

Ghirardelli Chocolate Chip Cookies

These are my ultimate favorite chocolate chip cookies, hands down. I love Ghirardelli's 60% cacoa chocolate premium baking chips. They are a nice, big chocolate morsel made from premium cacoa for a rich taste. Grab a big ol' glass of milk to chase these down with and don't forget the napkin because these are awesome warm out of the oven.

What are your favorite cookies to bake or enjoy this time of year? Please share with me in the comments below. Thank you for joining me for another Countdown to Christmas Saturday. May your days be Merry and Bright and your cookie jar be plentiful!

With love,

Dawna

How to Throw a Memorable Christmas Party

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Sat, 24 Nov 2018 11:00:00 +0000

We lived in a small, in town apartment and I desperately wanted to have a Christmas party in our cozy space, but was unsure how many people we could fit. My husband advised me to invite twice as many people as I thought we could host because many times when you invite people to an event only half are able to attend. So, I sent out invitations to 20 families. Much to our surprise, 18 invitations came back as a "yes". I was so excited and yet concerned how we would fit everyone, would I have enough food, should I plan activities, how would I get everything ready in time? There was so much to think of. Here is what has helped me stay organized and remain joy filled while hosting parties, whether for Christmas or at any other time of the year.

Christmas Gift by JESHOOTScom @ pixabay

1. Choose a date.

We've had Christmas parties in early December, on Christmas Eve, or even into the New Year. Just make sure you choose your date enough in advance to get invitations out and in our neck of the woods we have a "snow date" planned in case of inclement weather.

Merry Christmas by Raw Pixel at Pixabay

2. Send out invitations.

Whether you are more of a paper person or prefer the immediate results of an email or Facebook event, make sure you get your invitations out early! I suggest at least two weeks in advance. The more heads up you can give people the better. Don't forget to include if your party is a potluck or important items people might need to bring if it is a sledding party or has some sort of theme.

3. Keep it SIMPLE.

Stick to tried and true recipes you know, use disposable dinner ware to make it easy on cleanup, keep decorating easy. I like to put colored glass ornaments inside large clear glass vases as centerpieces and set out mason jars tied with red ribbon and filled with candy canes as a bit of whimsy. A few sprigs of greens tucked in here and there and decorating is done. As much as possible, err on the side of simplicity. Having too many options can be overwhelming and will add up to more time and money.

3.Plan ahead!

The key to keeping things joy filled is to plan ahead. I make up a master list of all I want to accomplish before the party and set a date on each item. Some things I can only do the day of or hours before the party (make the punch, prepare the salad) and others I can do days in advance (vacuum, dust, buy ingredients, plan games, etc.). I do a little bit each day leading up to the party so I am not running about frantic the day of the big bash.

4. Budget!

As we have discussed before, set a budget for your food, decorations, party favors, etc. It helps to know what you have to work with before buying items and then becoming stressed because you have spent more than you wanted.

Christmas Girls by Jill111 @ pixabay

5. Get help!

Don't be afraid to grab your bestie and ask for help whipping up cookies the week of the party or ask if someone wants to come early and help you decorate and set out food. It is so much fun to party plan with others.

Don't shoulder the burden all yourself, that will just lead to stress. Potlucks are a beautiful thing and this free planner is awesome for helping to know who is bringing what, or you can delegate and let people know what to bring. Regardless, don't do it all alone unless you want to get burnt out.

Sticking to well known and loved recipes makes for less stress. Keeping the main dish to a one pot meal also helps keep things easy which is why I am a big fan of soups. I like to find dishes I can prep ahead of time because the last thing I want to do when guests arrive is to be cooking. Here are some of our favorites dishes that are easy to make for a crowd. We ask guests to bring a side dish and/or a dessert to share. We serve everything up buffet style

Seven Layer Dip with tortilla chips.

Bermuda Spinach Salad We ask guests to also bring side dishes to share.

Chicken Taco Soup with tortilla chips (guests could bring the chips). The recipe is easily adaptable to feed a crowd. We have done a soup potluck in the past where everyone brings their favorite soup and that is fun too.

Christmas Table by Terri C at Pixabay

Grandmother's Buttermilk Cornbread ( I make a few pans of this in advance and pop em' in the freezer)

Apple Orchard Punch

For dessert we put out a big bowl of Reindeer Chow a.k.a Muddy Buddies, which I make in advance and keep in the freezer. I also enjoy making my family's favorite Candy Cane Cookies.

In the past for party favors I have passed out out these amazing Peppermint Chocolate Whoopie Pie Pops, except mine are almost always too big to put on a stick so I just dip em' and wrap them in a cute clear Christmas goodie bag. Each guest receives one. They are a huge hit!

7. Plan Games

Games are a great way to break the ice and can lead to very memorable parties. Some parties don't need a game at all, people are just content to laugh and share stories. However, if you notice people staring into their drinks, then it might be time to pull out a game. Some of our favorite games are: (click on the highlighted links below on how to play the games and supplies needed).

Minute to Win It (below are our top 5 that bring the most laughs) These are great to do with parties that have kids and teens. A more sophisticated crowd may frown upon these

- Jingle in the Trunk

- Elephant March

- Face the Gingerbread Man

- Cheeto Head

- Nose Dive (to make it Christmas themed, add a red pom pom as a bonus and it is worth extra points)

Bubble Wrap Ball - we wrapped up inexpensive gifts in saran wrap until it made a huge ball and then set the party goers in a circle and passed the ball around. SO much FUN!

Telestrations

Codenames

Wits and Wagers

8. Set the mood with MUSIC.

Don't forget to put on an awesome playlist. Spotify, Google Play, Pandora... whatever you use for tunes, you can set up your play list in advance and just hit "play" before guests arrive. We love Pandora's "Family Christmas Radio" station this time of year. It has a nice mix of old and new favorites.

9. Welcome guests at the door.

When possible, try to greet guests as they arrive so they have a warm welcome. Thank them for any food/gifts they may bring, offer them a drink, and try to introduce them to at least one other guest.

Cup by Silviarita at Pixabay

10. RELAX!

Once your guests have arrived, relax and enjoy them. Let go of all the details, your party has been well planned. The food is ready to go, your home is filled with love and laughter, now go relish in the moment! It is easy as a hostess to become so busy with making sure everyone else is having a good time that you forget to enjoy yourself. Don't do that this year! You've done an awesome job preparing for this day, so go bask in it.

Have some party planning tips or an awesome recipe to share with me? Give me a holla' and post it in the comment section below.

Only 31 days till Christmas... WOOT!

Basking in the wonder of this time of year,

Dawna

Countdown to Christmas Movie List

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Sat, 17 Nov 2018 11:00:00 +0000

Coffee by Free Photos at Pixabay

The weather has shifted. Old man winter sends cold wind from the North and my children don scarves, hats, mittens, and puffy jackets as they head out into the frosted landscape. I prepare mugs of cocoa to greet rosy cheeks as The Vince Guaraldi Trio's music dances through the air. The scent of pine mingled with cedar makes me happy as memories of Christmases past overcome me.

The sights, sounds, and smells this time of year echo of tradition and usher in so many fond memories that I love. Today, as we continue to countdown to Christmas, I wanted to share with you the movies my family looks forward to each holiday season.

In early November we gather up our favorite Christmas movies and determine the order in which we want to watch them. Then, the Movies of Christmas countdown begins. Some movies are connected to events. For example, we always watch Elf after we set up and decorate our Christmas tree. Each Movie of Christmas is paired with a favorite Christmas treat. Sometimes the treat is random and other times, the movie/tradition will determine the type of treat. It has become such a tradition that one cannot happen without the other. :) We prep cookies and goodies ahead of time so they are at the ready.

Polar Express by Jill111 at Pixabay

The Movies of Christmas happen weekly in our home, starting on Saturday the week before Thanksgiving. Here is our line up this year:

1. The Polar Express.

Tom Hanks whisks us away to the North Pole on Christmas Eve as he helps a little boy discover his Christmas spirit again. We pair this incredibly life like and heart touching journey with hot cocoa, whipped cream, candy canes and either Indiana Company's Black and White Drizzle Corn (you have to totally grab a bag, they sell it at Walmart) or brownies with ice cream if the popcorn is sold out. Tip: buy it early and stash it away.

2. Home Alone.

This hilarious throwback to my childhood brings nostalgia and laughs as we watch a young Macaulay Caulkin fend off burglars at Christmas time. There is some language and bullying that we discuss with our children, but overall this is a fun family favorite. We pair this Christmas caper with take out pizza, "ya filthy animal". :)

Santa's Elf by Jill111 at Pixabay

3. ELF.

Will Ferrel is an unusually large elf who lives at the North Pole and is on a journey to the United States to search for his true identity. This movie warms our hearts and keeps us laughing the entire night. Don't be a cotton headed ninny muggins... cozy up with your family over this hilarious Christmas flick. We pair ELF with cocoa, whipped cream, pretzel turtles, and candy cane kiss cookies. (You can come back on December 15th for the recipe for these awesome goodies.)

4. White Christmas

This classic musical with Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye delights all ages. This movie was one of my grandparent's favorites and I have been enjoying it since I was a child. White Christmas is a wonderful tale of two army buddies becoming a song and dance team who unite with a sister duo to put on a Christmas show in the hopes of saving a failing Vermont inn. It is nothing short of magical. Even my toddlers love this movie. They enjoy dancing while the acts are going on on the screen. We will be pairing this classic film with traditional ginger cookies and egg nog.

"[abominable snowman]" (CC BY 2.0) by pocolover1957

5. Rudolph and Frosty the Snowman

Christmas wouldn't be quite the same without these traditional programs. These classic tv shows bring all the feels and we enjoy every corny minute! This year we are serving up ice cream floats as we sing Frosty the Snowman and plan on warming up with cocoa as we wonder if Rudolph will be safe from the abominable.

"a-charlie-brown-christmas" (CC BY-SA 2.0) by 22860

6. We always end our Christmas Movie Countdown with The Grinch (1966) and A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965). These animated television specials have been around since before I was born and they add to the exciting build up to Christmas. I think we will be decorating sugar cookies to enjoy with this wonderful reminder of what Christmas is all about.

Savor the traditions and special moments of the holiday dear readers because it is often these simple rituals that our loved ones hold dear and remember for years to come.

"Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we cannot see."

- The Polar Express -

What movies are a "must watch" on your holiday list? Please leave a comment below, I would love to hear from you!

Waiting with anticipation,

Dawna

A Time for Tea

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Mon, 27 Aug 2018 21:56:00 +0000

Baby and Father from Pixabay

Children grow so fast. I long for the snuggles of little babes, their dimpled hands in mine as they look up into my face and we sing a song. Those dimpled hands grow bigger as do those little babes. Soon they are young men with calloused hands from climbing trees or doing a hard day's work. They no longer look up at you but rather look down as they give a hug before going off to take a dual credit class at a local college. The days can be long Mommas, I know that to be true, but these years, they fly by. I wanted to slow it all down, make life stand still for a while so my Momma heart could catch up. A few years ago we started a new ritual in our home called "Tea Time".

Around 2pm, several days a week, I gather my crew together, young and old, and we all sit in our comfy spot. Our comfy spot happens to be our sitting area. It is filled with well loved chairs and situated in front of large picture windows that have a view of our woods. The sun filters in and makes it such a welcoming space, no matter the season. There is a large trunk which I adorn with a tablecloth and I put out a tray of snacks (fruit, vegetables, and a special treat like cookies or muffins). Small plates are set in a stack near the tray and once they are put out, I am ready to gather my precious ones.

Our sitting area.

From the kitchen, the tea kettle sings with anticipation it's happy song. I call the children from wherever they are...

"Teeeeeea Tiiiime"!

The younger ones are swinging in the back yard, others are building with Legos, my Princess is playing dolls in her room, and my oldest is off with a book. They come from all corners and enter the heart of our home, our kitchen. Each grab a tea cup or mug and their favorite tea/cocoa as I pour hot water into the cups. Sugar, cream, and honey are available to stir in and they bring their steaming mugs to the sitting room and find a spot to get cozy.

I look around at their faces and I thank God silently for each of these blessings. I open with a small prayer of thankfulness and then grab our book off the shelf and begin as the children grab their snack with delight. It doesn't matter what age, I think everyone enjoys being read to. Because we have such an age range (toddlers through teens) there are pauses in our story time. Bathroom breaks, squabbles ("Mom, he is on my side of the cushion."), or just a case of the wiggles, sometimes these things come up and we accommodate them. The point is to build intimacy and unity... not to check off a "to do" list.

When all is said and done, our story time/tea takes about forty five minutes to an hour out of our day and yet it helps bind us together for a lifetime. It makes us stop wherever we are at and encourages us to slow down and come together. We take a pause... one that builds togetherness, one that brings comfort to our bodies and spirit, and one that enriches our mind with wonderful classics from years gone by. This seemingly simple ritual can make all the difference in my day... I so look forward to it, as do my children. What special rituals do you look forward to in your day/week?

Grateful for the gift today,
Dawna

Homeschool Curriculum

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Wed, 01 Aug 2018 15:41:00 +0000

A question I am asked often is, "What do you use for curriculum?". Well, my kids each learn a bit differently so I don't purchase a boxed curriculum from just one source. I piece meal our books together based on interests, learning style, my teaching style, etc.

Over the summer I ask my children what they would like to learn about this upcoming school year. For example, this summer when asked that question I received these answers:

Physics
The World Wars
Sewing
Botany
The Animal Kingdom, especially animals in our state.
Science Experiments, the messier the better.

So, when I begin the school year, just by asking a simple question, I can be prepared to teach to their passions. I take the above answers, look at what needs to be accomplished for their individual needs and then I construct a plan. We have been homeschooling for a LONG time (13 years) so it doesn't take as long now to map out our routine.

I have tried and true books I use for the basics. I will break it down by grade level below.

For preschool I do a simple Circle Time with the kids. I gather them up while the big kids are doing their chores and we sing a few songs, read some books that go along with our theme (one theme per month), and review our letter of the week. We end our time with an activity and by the time we are all finished, the big kids are ready to begin their school day. On average Circle Time takes about 40 minutes and the little ones love it. It gives them much needed one on one time at the start of the day and then they are free to play while I work with the older children.

Some of our favorite authors for Preschool Circle Time
Eric Carle
Chris Van Dusen
H.A. Rey
Jan Brett
Virginia Lee Burton
Dr. Seuss
A.A. Milne
Beatrix Potter

Elementary (k-6)
The Ordinary Parents Guide to Teaching Reading.
This is a no frills book that gets the job done. The lessons take 10 to 15 minutes and I start this when the children show an interest in wanting to learn how to read. Some of my kids started very early, age 3, and others were 5 years old. What I appreciate about this book is that it teaches your child to read phonetically.

First Language Lessons
This is a basic introduction to grammar for grade school. The lessons take about 10 to 15 minutes and incorporate grammar, narration, dictation, and memorization.

Fix It Grammar
We use IEW's Fix It! Grammar as the children get older and this can be used in elementary grades up through high school. The books ask you to edit daily passages for errors and by the end of the year the daily passages all come together to form the complete story. A very fun and effective way to learn grammar!

Math U See
We have used multiple math programs over the years but once we discovered Math U See, we never turned back. I love the way Mr. Demme teaches the children the new lesson, via dvd, and then there is a weeks worth of reviewing the new concept as well as cumulative review of previous material learned. Lessons take about 20 to 30 minutes, depending on the grade level.

Story of the World/ Tapestry of Grace
We use SOW and Tapestry as our spines for history and then supplement with their book lists of wonderful living books that help bring history to life for our children. With the younger children I use Story of the World and we have a blast making memories as we work through the awesome activity book together throughout the year. The activity book is full of wonderful crafts, enrichment activities, lists of additional books to read, and fun puzzles/coloring pages, I definitely advise purchasing it to go along with whatever time period you are studying.

My kids have a blast using Jeannie Fulbright's Apologia Exploring Creation Through Science series. As with the history curriculum, these books also have a notebooking journal with extra activities, books to read, coloring pages, and copywork pages that add so much richness to your school day.

We also incorporate Nature Study into our week. It is a fabulous way to get your children outside to enjoy the fresh air and it allows them to notice the fascinating world around them while helping them get in touch with their creative side. It is a great excuse to dig in the dirt, go puddle jumping, or hold worms. :)

If you need some nature study ideas, Barb at Handbook of Nature Study has done all of the footwork for you. Check out her website and enjoy having fun with your kids as you explore the amazing world around us whether it be in your own back yard, while on a hike, or playing at the park. The options are limitless.

Further reading on Nature Study:
Handbook of Nature Study by Anna Botsford Comstock

Pocketful of Pinecones by Karen Andreola

Keeping a Nature Journal by Clare Walker Leslie

As my children progress through the grades and enter high school we continue with:
Math U See
We have greatly enjoyed Jay Wile's Discovering Design series for science. It is excellent to use in a co op setting but can be done alone as well.
We continue with Tapestry of Grace and sometimes mix it up with Beautiful Feet for History.
We use Institute for Excellence in Writing for a variety of grammar/essay writing, etc, based on what the needs/desires are and we have used The One Year Adventure Novel curriculum with our aspiring writer, which was great fun.

We read aloud often in our home school so we will usually pick a series at the beginning of the year and work our way through it. Last year we read Little Britches and I think this year we will be reading Pippi Longstocking. In years past we have read Little Men, Little Women, The Hobbit, and the Chronicles of Narnia series.

So, that is the general idea of what major books we use in our homeschool. Do you have a curriculum or book that you just cannot live without? Please share it in the comments below.

Unsung Heroes

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Mon, 28 May 2018 15:00:00 +0000

"Images from Memorial Day" (CC BY 2.0) by John-Morgan

The day began with a parade to honor those who are often times forgotten. The children waved their banners high and when the weathered men walked by, in heavy, starched suits standing proud in the 80 degree sun... we applauded. I don't know what it must've been like to watch a friend fall on the beach at Normandy or have a brother become a POW. I cannot imagine the heartache of serving your country, taking in the horrors of war, and returning home to criticism. I don't know what nightmares plague our soldiers as they transition from being in active service to being a civilian again. I have no clue what it is like to have my husband or wife serve actively while I pray for them to safely return home, and in the meantime keep everything rolling smoothly in their absence. I haven't had to miss a child's birthday or Christmas, a wedding anniversary, or the passing of a parent because I am stationed overseas. I cannot imagine what it is like to walk in their shoes.

I want to hear the stories of these valiant heroes and yet, I don't know if I am strong enough to handle the reality they may share with me.

I thank God for the men and women who so bravely served, I thank Him for all of those who are serving now to keep us safe, and for those who have died so I can freely enjoy the liberties that come with living in the United States of America.

"Marching Marines" (CC BY 2.0) by NYCMarines

We teach our children about Memorial Day because we want them to know that freedom is not free. It comes at a great price and should not be taken for granted. I want them to know why they can wave their flags in peace at a parade, undisturbed. I want them to know why we thank a man in uniform while we are out at Walmart or buy a soldier in front of us his meal at the restaurant.

For now, my children do not know the sound of wailing sirens, piercing gunfire, or rumbling tanks and for that, I am so very grateful.

"The American Veteran" (CC BY-NC 2.0) by Thomas Hawk

I want my children to appreciate the man sitting silently in the corner of the nursing home, his legs rendered useless, confined to a wheelchair. I want them to listen as he tells his story of being a pilot during the war and admire the brave soul that is now a dim flicker inside of lonely man, living his last days out in a place where no one knows his story. A man who cannot remember what he had for breakfast but he remembers the names of those he served with and those who gave their lives for our freedom.

As a Mom I awoke this morning to the sound of birds chirping and I had the security of knowing my babies were tucked safely in their beds. I knew we would all awake and enjoy a day with Daddy, celebrating family and freedom. It is easy to take it for granted when the tanks are not outside your window and the mortar shells are not raining down on your city.

I had a little taste of what it must be like to have your safety stripped from you. We recently had a murderer loose near our home and there was a huge police force looking for this person. While the manhunt was underway we had to take precautions. We did not play outside. We kept the doors locked at all times and activities were cancelled that would normally take place if such a threat was not afoot. Everywhere we went there were men in uniform with guns at their side. We were stopped at road blocks and asked questions. Helicopters flew over our property and I held my children a little bit closer. I was thankful for the men and women who were working day and night to keep us safe and it helped me to sleep easier knowing that the good guys were out there. My children had never seen anything like it before but it was a good life lesson that there are bad guys out there. It was a lesson in realizing that life is not guaranteed to be safe and it can all change in a moment. It was a reminder that every day, there are people putting their lives on the line to protect us. Their service often goes unnoticed because we don't think about it... we live in a quiet town that is relatively safe. The protection of our military and police is a constant, a given, that somewhere out there today there is someone safeguarding our city, our state, our country... whether we know them by name or not. Whether we agree with everything our country stands for or not. They still serve and protect, no matter what people believe or say or do. These men and women defend everyone's freedoms, even the freedoms of those who protest them. They are our unsung heroes and today I just want to say "thank you for your sacrifice".

Sincerely,
Dawna

Joy in the Unexpected

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Tue, 06 Mar 2018 17:50:00 +0000

Elderly Woman, B&W image by Chalmers Butterfield from Wikimedia Commons

I saw her across the room, sitting alone at a table.

Her mind distracted as she gazed out the large lobby window that overlooked the garden on the hotel grounds. Her hair cut short and permed, dyed an Irish red. Her skin wrinkled by years gone by, a rosy hue adorned her cheeks. A wonderful blue cardigan brought out the blue of her eyes and as I walked past her table I just had to say "hello".

Her gaze moved from the garden and as our eyes met, she smiled. As we chatted I discovered we both lived in the same state, not far from each other as a matter of fact. She was spending the winter at the hotel so she did not have to upkeep her home during the cold winter months that often brought snow storms and power outages. Her husband passed away several years ago and she had the opportunity to stay in a senior living home but she did not want to "spend her last years waiting to die", she wanted to live where there would be people to talk to, especially children for they brought so much joy to her heart.

So, she discovered that for a reduced fee, the hotel would allow her to stay the winter. She told me how pleasant the staff was and how they looked out for her. She pointed out the walking path on the hotel grounds that connected to several other areas where one could stretch their legs. She told of a book store that she enjoyed frequenting that was just down the road a piece and how she had no need for a vehicle because the local shuttle would bring her anywhere within a two mile radius without charge. Fortunately all of her needs were provided for in such a short distance = a grocery store, the book store, and a mall where she could people watch and walk on a rainy day.

In the short time we had connected I felt such a deep affection for her. She was a fascinating, beautiful woman of ninety years old but her spirit was much younger. My only regret is that I had not lingered longer, she was such a treasure.

When our time came to an end she tenderly touched my arm and thanked me for taking the time to stop and say "hi". She said "it can get lonely at times, that's the hardest part, but when people like you stop, it brightens my day." And to think... I almost ignored that still small voice tugging on my heart. What a shame if I had not stopped, it was such a gift that was given to me to enjoy listening to the heart of another, the giving and receiving of love in such an unexpected way.

Life is made up of so many wonderful little moments like my experience above. May you find joy in the most unexpected of ways today my dear readers.

With love,
Dawna

The Joy of Zone Cleaning

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Mon, 05 Mar 2018 22:07:00 +0000

Are you one of those people who run and hide when you hear those dreaded words...
"Spring Cleaning".

Do you envision weekends committed to washing walls, ceilings, windows and pressing curtains? Well, I have a cure for your phobia, at least I have found what works for me. Enter the joy of ZONE CLEANING! :)

I complete my "spring cleaning" throughout the year. It makes life easier for me so when the beautiful weather arrives I am not stuck inside washing curtains, scrubbing walls, and removing cobwebs from ceiling corners. Below you can read what works for me.

I divide my home into zones. The kitchen is a zone, the living room is a zone, the bedrooms are a zone, etc. The idea of zone cleaning was presented to me through a great website called Flylady. While I do not implement all of her ideas, this site has a great wealth of information for keeping your home tidy and in order. Tweak it to fit your needs.

Our bathroom zone card

I focus on a zone daily, Monday through Saturday. Example: Mondays are the bathrooms. For each zone I have a printed sheet of tasks I would like to accomplish. Each sheet is actually an index card in which I have written my tasks out and then laminated it and put a magnet on the back so I can just pop it on the fridge when it's that zone's day. My children join me in cleaning these areas during the week. When we all work together it takes 15 minutes to give these rooms an extra blessing.

By tackling the housework in small bits each day the whole house gets clean which eliminates a deep spring cleaning. I LOVE it! So each day I complete my daily chores and the tasks for the zone we are working on for that day. For example, on Monday we focus on the bathrooms. The children take care of the upstairs bathroom and I focus on the downstairs. Some tasks that I need to add to my list are washing the shower curtain and vacuuming/mopping the bathroom floor. I do them out of habit but it would be good to have them on the list in case I am having a brain fog kinda day. :)

So, I have a zone card for each type of room in my house. Our zones include living room/hallways, dining room/sitting area, bathrooms, bedrooms, playroom, and kitchen. I walk into each room and look around and write down a list of things that need to be done, outside of the norm, to make that room sparkling clean. Examples might include: clean the ceiling fan, wipe down switch plates, vacuum baseboards, vacuum ceiling, wash windows, wipe down cabinets, wipe down fridge, etc. All of the items I think of go on my zone card (like the photo above)

We tackle the zone together as a family. I set the timer and spend no longer than 15 minutes in a zone. Once the timer goes off, we are done that zone for the day. If everything didn't get accomplished that is okay. We can pick up where we left off next week when we hit that area again.
There is no guilt for not completing all the tasks. We just do what we can and when the timer goes off, we move on to the next thing in our lives (like getting outside to play!). :)

It is enjoyable for me to take things in small steps so that way I am not overwhelmed. By dividing my cleaning into zones it allows each room to have my attention throughout the month. I normally do not mind if people drop by unannounced because my home is relatively tidy (not immaculate because that is not the way I conduct my life... but my home is in order with a lived in feel to it).

I hope these tips give you a few new ideas to incorporate in your corner of the world so maybe spring cleaning does not have to be so daunting.

Let me know what works for you by leaving a comment below.

Happy house blessing!

Love,
Dawna

Noticing the Good

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 22:54:00 +0000

Dirty dishes are on the counter, Nerf bullets are scattered here and there (there must have been a Nerf War while I was out grocery shopping), a stack of school books are on the table. The living room door creaks open and joyful shouts cry out "Momma's home, Momma's home!" I am embraced, kissed and tugged on. Everyone begs to help with the groceries. My two year old drags bags across the floor and to the fridge... canned goods find their way onto the second shelf next to the eggs. Little Miss lugs the water jugs to the pantry... along with the milk and someone has opened the tomatoes and started snacking. I cannot help but laugh. This is my life. It is big and loud and messy and fun and beautiful all at the same time.

I set the kids up with a snack while I relocate the canned goods to the pantry and place the milk in the refrigerator. Thank you Lord for this life.

In the midst of the chaos and the mundane is this sweet fullness that comes from having a large family.

Oh the days with six children in our home are not always easy. There are sleepless nights, lingering illnesses, sibling squabbles, Mommy temper tantrums, and the struggle just to get through the daily routine. However, someone is always laughing in this house, even in the midst of the craziness. I derive great joy in watching the children play and create together, seeing them gathered around me listening intently as I read from Charlotte's Web, The Bible, or Little Men; watching their faces light up as they giggle and hand me the fifth drawing they made for me that day, gazing out the window as they sled down the hill or have a snowball fight. This is what I was created for... to raise up these beautiful babes of mine to love and honor the Lord and serve their fellow man. It is a trying and tiring task but also one that brings joy unparalleled, one that will have rewards far beyond this temporal life. And how many times do I miss it? How many times do I blow it?

Maybe I am overtired and so I over react at an incident dissolving a child into tears within a matter of seconds because I speak harshly over something trivial. There have been times where I ignore what is going on and then when it cannot be ignored any longer I get upset when the blame lies with me for not being available in the beginning.

Far too often I think we do not see our children as little humans, with their own identities and souls. We need to remember that there is an eternal significance to everything we are doing. Their souls and ours will go on for eternity so what we say and do now, in this life, is important... it has an everlasting impact.

I start supper and watch the children as they set the table and do a quick tidy before dinner. They are doing what is asked of them and doing it happily. I stop to praise them... and they smile and stand a little straighter. Maybe that is what we all need, just a little more understanding and more praise in a world that seems to rush by us, not noticing the good but often focusing on the bad.

It's time for a perspective shift. Try it today... rather than focusing on Johnny spilling the milk, Susie not picking up her toys, or the food that Timmy left on the side of his plate notice what they did do.

"Wow Johnny. Thank you for trying to pour yourself a cup of milk. You are becoming such a big boy. Here, let me help you clean that up."

"Susie, the fort you made for your dollies is so neat. Can you tell me about it?"

"Timmy, thank you for tasting your peas even though you don't like them. You did a great job eating your pork chop and apples."

Same goes for you Momma... rather than noticing the load of laundry you didn't get to fold notice the smiles on your children's faces because you read them a story instead, or rather than sighing over the sink of dirty dishes that you just don't have the energy to wash look at the satisfied faces around you because you made yet another meal. Instead of seeing the stretch marks and tired eyes, see the strength that brought forth life and continues to sustain it even in the midst of long days and sometimes long nights. You are strong, you are capable, and you are loved... keep up the good work and know I am right here with you, cheering you on.

What are some ways you notice the good in your world? Please leave a comment below, I'd love to hear from you. :)

Sincerely,
Dawna

Freedom from Striving

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Fri, 14 Oct 2016 14:56:00 +0000

"autumn falls..." (CC BY 2.0) by paul bica

The leaves are changing as the air becomes cooler. The brilliant hues of gold, orange and red light up our back field and I thank the Lord for bringing us to this place here in the country. Here I have poured out my heart and soul, I have wept in the fields and looked up to the heavens frantically searching for the one who knows me... and He has answered. He has been here all along but I haven't truly felt a deep, lasting connection until we came to this place, this haven for my heart. I have felt connected off and on over the years but never something so intimate as what He has brought me to these past three years.

He has made all things new. He moved us away from the old ways - our home in the city, our belonging to a large church, and the community we had being in the midst of town, and took us here. Just a few miles from where we were and yet so much changed.

He gave us this home which has brought a level of peace that is indescribable... safe places for my children to play and my heart to rest easy, beautiful land to remind me of His providence. He brought us to a place of Home Fellowship that I cannot even begin to explain how that has wrecked me... in a good way. Everything I have known about my walk with the Lord has been tipped on it's head and I feel like I am a new creation.

I have been saved since I was seven, I have always loved the Lord but I haven't felt this close to him ever. For years and years my walk has been work based. I have been living a life in hopes to please God (and please others). All the while striving, doing, trying to be all God (and others) wants me to be. If I continue to work on myself then I will get closer to God. It is kind of like a formula. With the Lord I figured well, the more I can do, the more I can serve, the closer I will get to Him. It is the same with my relationships with others. The more I do, the more I serve, the more I pour out, the more they will love me and accept me. Right? Doesn't that make sense?

"Love" (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0) by Ole Petter Rust Photography

I like rules, lists to follow... it helps me know where I rate. If I obey the rules and check off the lists then I am successful, if not , I have failed and failure is not an option. It's only recently I have learned how damaging that thinking is. The fact is that, I am not perfect and I will fail, however, God does not turn His back from me when I fail. God never turns away. Instead, he extends a scarred hand and helps me up. He listens to my heart as I apologize and then He shows me a better way, a way where I can succeed, reminding me that when I stumble, He is there to pick me up. He does not remove His love from me when I fail, I think that is monumental. He tells me that we are in this together, He and I, seeing my sin for what it is and working together on it... it's not all about me, working alone, trying to get it right. When I try to do it on my own, I fail. I think it is a common trapping for humanity, to feel good enough, to think we have to obtain a form of perfection in order to earn love from one another and from God and to think we have to go it alone. It is a brilliant lie from the devil that keeps us distracted from the truth.

There is nothing we can do to make Him love us more. There is nothing we can do to make us more righteous in His sight. We are all sinners, saved by Grace. His grace is a gift to us. It was not given out of obligation, or as a reward for something that we have done or will do. It is a gift of perfect love. it is a gift, given to everyone, but we have to make the choice to receive that gift.

Trying to be perfect is exhausting not to mention impossible but it was my goal for so long because if I was perfect, or so I thought, then I was loved, then there was peace.... However, I found out that it did not matter how good I was, pain still happened, and being good enough could not fix it. I tried being the perfect Christian, the perfect daughter, the perfect friend... I did not want to lose love. I burnt out.

I have learned that I can never please enough and it all ends up being about my striving, my effort, my ability to make something happen.

"Striving" (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0) by arbyreed

I haven't trusted who God says I am. He tells me that:

I am enough!

He tells me that I am worthy, I am godly, I am a saint, I am righteous and NOTHING I can do can ever make me MORE godly or MORE righteous... its all about what HE did for me not what I can do for Him. Crazy! I am sure you guys already have been kicked in the head by that truth but call me slow because I am just jumping onto this freedom train now.

So as I step out into this new found freedom, this crazy love, I am overwhelmed by His grace. My value is in living out of who God says I am. He paid an infinite price to redeem me and give me a new identity and the way I can show Him I value this identity is to trust what He says about me is true.

"Butterfly" (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0) by TanoyPhoto

I have always seen myself as the caterpillar but never the butterfly. The caterpillar's makeup, it's DNA, is a butterfly. It looks nothing like a butterfly on the outside, but inside it is wired completely like a butterfly. (stay with me) The caterpillar matures into what is already true about it! Scolding a caterpillar for not being more like a butterfly is pointless. He already is a butterfly, he just hasn't matured completely. He is on a journey. So it is with us... with me. God has given us the DNA of godliness, we are saints, we are righteous. Nothing we do will make us more righteous than we already are. We may be the caterpillar right now as we journey towards becoming more and more like Christ but eventually, we will come out on the other side of the process as a butterfly. Is that crazy cool or what? My mind is blown by this realization.

I have thought I could achieve godliness by striving and gain love and acceptance by serving. All I need to do is work a little harder... me... my effort, my work, my doing. Trusting in my own self instead of God.

Then the light bulb went on: My relationship with Him is not about how little I have sinned or how much I have served but how much I let Him love me.

It is not about my self effort... it is about allowing God to live His life THROUGH me. We work together. Him in me.

I was not operating out of the truth that I am already godly... I was striving to BE godly. But God has brought me to the wilderness to mature me and to show me I am already godly. I am already the butterfly. Now I need to live like that. My works based relationship with God put the responsibility on my own resources but when I live out of a grace based relationship then the responsibility is on the resources of God. And his resources are limitless!

"~ free ~" (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0) by AlicePopkorn

I always thought that God was interested in changing me but He already HAS. He wants me to believe that I AM changed so he can get on with the process of maturing me into WHO I ALREADY AM. If I am not trusting Him then I will still be trying to change myself on my own, in hopes of becoming godly, rather than accepting His gift, His truth, that says I am already godly because He is dwelling in me. His spirit is at work in me making me a new creation as I mature into the image of Christ. Are you following me? I know this is crazy and deep (maybe it is not as revolutionary for you because you haven't been chained down by a works based theology but whoa... I'm still reeling).

I know this was a mouthful but I wanted to share with you what the Lord is doing in my life and the incredible freedom I am experiencing as I bask in His love for me and press on towards His glory.

I love you all!

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God." Romans 5:1-2

FREEDOM! (in my best Braveheart voice).

- Dawna -

(To be inspired more check out the book True Faced by Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol and John Lynch. Many of the above concepts came from this book and have rocked my world.)

Why We Homeschool

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Sat, 08 Oct 2016 20:11:00 +0000

We are a family who home schools. When Mr. Wonderful and I were courting he let me know that if we were blessed with children that his desire was for them to be home schooled. My reply was:
"No problem Mr. Adorable. I will follow you to the ends of the earth."

Well, fast forward seventeen years and six kids later and this home schooling thing is tough with a capital T. However, anything worth having is not easy.

So, why DO we home school?
(none of the links below are affiliate links, meaning I do not make money from them. They are just to help you see what I am talking about in case you are interested.)

* We want to give our children a learning environment where they can pursue their passions and learn at their own pace.

In a home school setting I can modify our lessons for each child. If one is struggling then I can give them more attention in the area that is difficult or if one is advanced, we can master the material and move on. As the teacher of my children, I truly know my students and what makes them tick, so I can invest in their passions.

When we read about Medieval Knights and my son did not stop donning a cape and knight helmet. Well, I let him go with it. We grabbed every book we could find and dove into the world of chivalry, dragons, damsels in distress, and the Knights of the Round Table. We would read around candle light, had a jousting match and ended our days of discovery with a Medieval Feast. When you teach to your child's passions, I can assure you that your child will remember what he/she loves. My son still talks about his Medieval Feast. :)

It has benefited us greatly to know what our children's learning styles are and to make sure we are teaching to that style. We have visual learners, kinetic learners, and auditory learners. We have those who like to be more social and others who prefer to be by themselves. Knowing how my children learn helps me to teach to fit their needs.

Cathy Duffy has a wonderful book called 102 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum and it has an overview of learning styles and teaching styles that is invaluable. She goes on to outline some major curricula and what learning style they fall under. Your local library should have a copy for you to check out. I find it a valuable resource in our home and review it every few years to help focus my attention in case anyone's learning style has changed.

* We want to instill in our children the morals and values that are rapidly declining in our culture.

Common courtesy, opening the door for a lady, saying "please" and "thank you", addressing adults as Mr. and Mrs./Ms. , helping with chores, and other manners are becoming increasingly scarce. The lack of respect is palpable in today's culture. There are things we want our children to know and value and by teaching them in our home they are not influenced by the outside world at such young, tender ages before they are weathered and strong.

*We teach to the heart first.

We value those things in our children's lives that will transcend this world and enter the eternal. Their spirits will last for all eternity so I want to make sure their spirits are just as strong, if not stronger, than their intellect. Mind, body and spirit is all connected but we often forget that. We need to be training up our children in each of these areas so they will be ready to face the world and it's challenges when they leave our nests.

A child can be intellectual and be a jerk. It is our desire to raise children who respect their fellow man, who have compassion towards others, who lavish love on those around them whether they are deserving of it or not. We want them to exhibit the fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) in their lives for it would not matter how smart you are, if you do not have love or compassion, people will not want to follow you or be with you. Good leaders lead by example whether you are leading a group of soldiers, rallying together fellow athletes, engaging co-workers to attempt something challenging, or leading the children entrusted to your care. We need to instill in their hearts good things so they will overflow into the lives of others and make a difference in their own world and beyond. What we are doing now does not just impact our own little family, it will impact generations to come! Which is why being a parent is a pretty big deal.

* We do not want our children to be placed into a box. No two children are alike and likewise children have different learning styles. You cannot fit them in a box and expect wonder and passion for learning to survive after 12 or 13 years of conformity.

Think of your children as seedlings in a garden. We plant them into tilled soil that we have worked hard to prepare. The ground is soft and warm and we plant our fragile seedlings into that soil hoping they will take root and grow strong. In a home environment we tend the garden regularly because it is right before us, easily accessible and we love our little plants. We weed around them and make sure they are receiving enough water. If they get crowded by other plants we can move them to where it is best for them to thrive. The goal is to establish well rooted plants that will grow and bear an abundance of fruit. Because I have an intimate relationship with the plants in my garden, I can tell if one needs some tender care, or if one needs pruning to bring about more fruit. I am the gardener and I know that which is entrusted to me.

If we take that same little seedling and transplant it into the cold, hard ground of a traditional institution, it may still survive, but it will not grow as strong as it would have in it's original environment. It will be planted with thirty or forty other plants all close together. Weeds may choke out the other plants robbing them of soil moisture, nutrients and affecting their maturity, other plants may sprout up faster and steal the much needed sunlight from your little plant, causing your plant to be stunted. Your young plant might need some extra water or fertilizer but it might not be his day to receive this much needed extra attention so he needs to wait, all the while he starts to wither. It is not the gardener's fault... he has been given an enormous task of tending to so many plants at one time. His job is to have them each produce fruit. It doesn't matter how much fruit, he just needs one berry from each plant to have done his job. He has to stick to a boxed curriculum and teach to the standard - everyone needs to fit into the box he has been given and if they don't then he must conform them to the mold so at the end of the year all of his little plants are in the box he was given at the beginning of the year, ready to be shipped off to the next level. It does not matter if some are taller than others and have produced an abundance of fruit, or if some are suffering from blight or aphids, as long as they have each produced one fruit, then they can be boxed up with the rest and moved on to the next level.

It is hard in a system that is designed as "one size fits all" to cultivate curiosity and wonder. You have to move on at the same pace as everyone else... there is no stopping and lingering over topics that interest you, there is no slowing down if one child is not grasping the information, and there is no speeding up for those who have already mastered these facts.

Please hear me out, I am not saying teachers are bad. Teachers are a blessing however the school system has come a long way of what it used to be. It used to be a place of knowledge and discovery. A place where wonder came alive but now we just try to get them through the hoops so they can score well on the test, forget the material and move on to the next subject. Children are not retaining information like they used to. We teach to test and then most of what is taught is forgotten. Why? Because children do not learn best in a lecture environment. They need a variety of learning approaches and small groups to discuss and sharpen one another. It is the same way we learn. Would you prefer to sit in a lecture for an hour and a half (or longer) staring at the back of someone's head while taking notes and then move on to the next lecture at the sound of a bell, or would you rather learn the same thing by a hands on activity, reading a relevant, engaging book on the topic and then discussing it with friends over a great cup of coffee? We will talk more about how we homeschool in a different post but for now... we will continue with the whys. :)

* We want our children to have the freedom to be children.

The school bus goes by here at 6:30 in the morning and does not come back until 3pm and later. The average school day in the US is about six and a half hours. That does not include travel time or extracurricular activities. Some parents don't see their children until bed time because their kids are involved in dance and other activities. So, that means, on average:
a) someone else is influencing your child for roughly 1200+ hours/school year or 33+ hours a week.
b) during those 33 hours a week how much time does your child get to be a child? Are they able to climb trees, play tag, draw, curl up and read a book uninterrupted, explore their passion of tinkering with broken electronics, play dolls, build with Legos, play in the dirt...?

We no longer protect our children's childhood, we prepare them for adulthood. With the rise of two income families in the 1970's and increase in the divorce rate, children's lives were altered. Increase in television/internet/video games has only led to a decrease in adult supervision. What used to be unheard of (children drinking, doing drugs, exposed to sexually explicit material or having sex) is now becoming the norm.

Annie Hermann puts it like this:
''Innocence, once considered the right of children, may be seen as simply the absence of weight and burden. Maturity, meanwhile, may be defined as the capacity to carry a burden successfully. But if you are given the heavy burden of knowledge before you have the capacity to deal with it -and knowledge is burdensome, because it requires mental and psychological work to deal with it - the results may be those distressing signs parents and teachers are observing among children today: confusion, fear, feelings of incompetence. Children grow up not really able to deal with difficulties, and they learn that the best way to deal with problems is to escape, through drugs or drink or whatever. "(New York Times "The Loss of Childhood" 1989)

Children should be able to enjoy play, imagination, pursuit of adventure. Children and adults are not equal and children do not prosper when they are treated as equal. Our children need to know that they are unique and special and that they are made up differently than adults. They do not need to know all that adults know... they should be protected under adult supervision. It is not to say we should shelter them from everything, but we should strive to preserve their innocence, their childhood, for as long as possible because once it is gone, there is no getting it back.

* Healthy Socialization

"It's easier to build strong children than to repair broken men"

Frederick Douglass

In a world where we hear about bullying, peer pressure, gangs, violence, abuse, drugs, etc., we desire to give our children something better.

We did not think it would be healthy for our children to be around 30 people of the same age day in and day out. It does not teach diversity. You end up being like those around you and a bunch of 8 year olds are probably not the best influence on your 8 year old, every single day. It is fine for peer connection or a birthday party but they are not going to have the benefit of learning from various age groups when we segregate them by their birthday and grade level.

Whether we are running errands, attending co op, going to choir or drama class that is offered to a variety of grades, visiting the nursing home, being a part of 4H, serving in the community, being on the local sports team, etc... we are getting a lot of socialization in any given week. The primary way our children learn how to be social is from nurturing adults rather than their peers, who are still learning themselves. We as parents give our children the skills to interact with other people and we can also protect them from those who would cause them harm.

Homeschooling has actually given us more opportunities for regular interaction with a variety of ages in an array of settings whether we are attending a ball, throwing a game day, meeting up with friends at the museum, going on a hike as a family, or cheering for one of our kids on the soccer field... each day brings something that has us interact and grow closer with our family, friends, and/or community.

* We want to spend these precious years with our children. The days are long but the years are short and we don't want to miss out on them.

We only have our children in our home for a short while. We do not want to take that time for granted because as we all know, it goes by WAY too fast. The more time I have with my children the stronger our relationship will be. I don't want to give my children away during the best hours of the day when they are happy. It is so much fun to be able to be together and lift one another up, play games, enjoy the outdoors, learn side by side and further our relationships with one another. It's truly beautiful. Yes, there will be hard moments and hard days but at the end of this life I will not be pining away about how hard it was to be home with my children all the time. I will be thankful for these formative years and the memories we are able to build and share with one another.

So that is why we do what we do. In the near future I will share about how we homeschool.

Have a blessed Autumn!

Sincerely,

Dawna

Slow Down

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Tue, 09 Aug 2016 02:42:00 +0000

It looked like a party had erupted in the backseat of my van. Rainbow sprinkles and shiny mica were everywhere... it's a good day when you arrive home from the beach with sand between your toes and ice cream stains on your shirt.

It was no small feat loading six children into the van this morning and all of the beach paraphernalia, however it was worth every moment once we laid the blanket down onto the white sand and savored the day. Sand, sun, laughter, waves, memories, family... all intertwine to make a beautiful day.

Why is it so hard to slow down... to savor?

It takes time. It takes work, to actually relax. It is something I find I have to force myself to do in this frenetic culture that is constantly trying to keep us going, going, going. But oh, the freedom, in the slow and steady.

Once I was out on the sand with the waves and laughter of my children as the music in my ears, I could unwind. No distractions pulling at me. The pile of dishes, basket of unfolded laundry, and to-do list were miles and miles away. All I had was what was in front of me... six precious faces, delighted to be at the beach.

We built sandcastles and memories, collected sea shells and stories, soaked up sun and each other's smiles, and just enjoyed being together.

We had no agenda other than to be.

Far too often I have been guilty of living this life as if it is a schedule to keep rather than a journey to enjoy. A constant motion of doing this thing and then the next, checking off my list, keeping an eye on the clock and for what... to do it all again the next day. Where is the joy? I felt like I was missing out on my life because of all the stuff I had to do.

Jesus said

"I came to give you life and give it more abundantly".

(John 10:10)

This rushing around being frantic with activity was not what He was referring to. So much of what I have been learning about the Lord (and myself) over the past few years have come when I was STILL. My mouth was shut, my eyes were closed, and my mind was just focused on Him, on His love for me. And in those moments I have felt fully alive. I can face my day refreshed and focused on what is truly important and when the urgent comes with it's demands, I can ignore them and choose what is best....

What is best for me is not going to be what is best for you. You need to take time and decide that for yourself but I think I can safely say that what is best, is not what is busiest. Busyness distracts us from what really matters... it is the "thief that comes in the night to steal, kill and destroy"( John 10:10). The days may feel long but in reality, the years are short and at the end of it all we will be wishing we could have more time. More time to spend with those we love, more time to do something we enjoy, more time to share memories, to laugh, to savor, to bless others....

Reality hit me like a stone as I watched my children playing in the waves. My oldest is fifteen, he is driving, taking chemistry, and writing a novel and yet it seems like just yesterday he was tugging on my apron asking to help me bake cookies. He is taller than I am now... oh how quickly the years go by and if I am not careful, I will miss it. My toddler giggled beside me as he buried his feet in the sand, his baby sister next to him with a shovel, happily eating the very same sand. The big boys were splashing in the waves while the Princess lovingly built a sandcastle where the waves could not destroy it.

As the sun was setting and we walked back to the van I looked over my shoulder at the beach, scanning to make sure we hadn't left anything. All that was left behind was our footprints in the sand...

Where are you leaving your footprints today? Are you caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life? Is there an opportunity where you can just slow down today and savor the present?

Savoring the simple,

Dawna

5 Tips to Keeping Your Home Tidy

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 13:36:00 +0000

I like order and enjoy a tidy home. However, I don't like things sterile. My house echoes the fact that I have a large family, one with lots of littles. We can keep our homes in order even in the midst of toddlers and teens by practicing a few daily habits. Here are my five top tips for keeping things tidy.

1. Make the bed!

It is amazing how clean a room looks when the bed is made. Once your feet hit the floor in the morning, take two minutes and make your bed. It gives you a sense of accomplishment and starts your day off right. Teach your children to do the same. Put covers/bedding on their beds that are easy for them to pull up and over the pillow. One Mom I know lets her younger ones use sleeping bags on top of their beds for easy bed making. :)

2. Contain It!

We have a variety of containers throughout our house in areas where they are most needed. Collapsible containers from The Christmas Tree shop, stacked on a shelf, provide a wonderful spot for toys. At $1 a piece they are easy on the pocket book and come in a variety of colors that are easy on the eyes. :) Wicker baskets, tins, photo boxes... there are so many options. We use containers in the kitchen to keep utensils together and produce within view. We use baskets in the living areas to corral the kids toys so they are not all over the floor and are within easy reach so the kids can pick up in no time at all. We label the containers so the children, and guests, know where items belong. Example: Label a basket "Cars" or "Candles" depending what the item is you are containing.

Having a place for your items is so helpful.

It has also been awesome to have a container for paper. We have a hot spot on our counter that seems to collect paper and such. By putting a pretty box with a lid in that area I can corral all the paper and then go through it on the weekend when I pay the bills. That way nothing is misplaced/lost and it stays out of sight. The children even know what to do with paper when they are helping tidy... they just put it in the box. :)

3. Keep counters clear.
This one is easier said than done in our home. Our kitchen is the first room you walk into in our abode and we have little counter space. It is easy for dishes to stack up, papers to collect, and all manner of trinkets to find their way to the counter. To help with this I keep an empty dishpan under the sink to collect dishes that cannot go immediately into the dishwasher. I also have the children scan the counters periodically for items that they have placed there. If I find items that belong to them then they go into a holding basket for a week unless they earn them back. I find it much easier to cook dinner and remain to have a sense of accomplishment if my counters are clear.

*Another tip: I keep my dish drying rack off the counter when it is empty so it does not take up such valuable space. I have a spot for it nearby but it would also fit under my sink if needed or on top of the refrigerator.

4. Have set times during the day where you tidy.

This is not a deep cleaning, this is a quick, efficient tidy. We set the timer for 15 minutes and we all work together to do a tidy two to three times a day; before school, before Daddy gets home and before bed. I assign everyone a zone (living room, dining area, kitchen...) and they just pick up what is in that room that needs to be taken care of. It is really helpful and when we work as a team it is amazing how fast it goes. We often beat the clock by 5 or more minutes. Play music to keep the mood light.

5. Focus on a zone.
I have divided our home into zones... the kitchen is a zone, bathrooms are a zone, the living room and dining room are each a zone, and the bedrooms are a combined zone. Each day we have a specific zone that we focus on and we pamper that area of the house. We look high and low and notice what needs our attention... cobwebs on the ceiling, finger prints on the windows, dust collecting on the baseboards, this is when we tackle that area. Again, when we all work together it goes by quickly. I set the timer, each person has their assignment and we get it done. When the timer dings we are done. If everything did not get completed that is alright, we can jump in where we left off next week. This little sanity saver keeps me from doing a spring cleaning each year. Now, there are days when we miss a zone and that is alright. Things happen. I just start off on the day we are on with the assigned zone. Example: Mondays are bathrooms, Tuesdays we are in the kitchen, Wednesday it is the dining room and sitting area and so on. If I miss Tuesdays due to unexpected events then I just pick up with the dining room on Wednesday and we will get back to the kitchen the following week. :)

These small steps have made life with many littles much more manageable. Is my house Martha Stewart ready, uh, nope... but it is tidy and still says "love lives here".

Now it is your turn. Please leave a comment below telling us about some of your tips to keeping order in your home.

Cheering you on,
Dawna

The Freedom of Being Vulnerable

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Tue, 16 Feb 2016 14:06:00 +0000

"On a windy day 1" (CC BY-SA 2.0) by randihausken

The wind sweeps across the field as if looking for something precious. She swirls the snow with force as she mournfully cries. I shudder and feel her desperation. Day turns to night and in the light of the moon she's still searching, her pleas reach my ears and I cannot help but feel alone.

I listen to her lament.

My soul is unsettled.

Her song fades into the background as I think about my own pain, my own loss; and like the wind, I search futilely for what I could have said or done differently to prevent the heartache. Back and forth I scan the events that transpired and the words spoken. They replay in my mind over and over as I drift off into a restless sleep. Anxiety rises up like a great wave threatening to crash over me and sweep me out into the dark nothingness. I cry out for help. My arm reaches up for safety but no one is there. The wave crashes over me and I succumb to it's force. I sink deeper and deeper until I can no longer see the light... my body becomes numb, despair engulfs me and then:

PEACE. Be still.

A light so blinding, so brilliantly white, surrounds me. A warmth pervades my inner most being. The sadness, the pain, they are still there but are more like a memory, they do not hold the same sting. I am placed on solid ground , a blanket is about me as I look out over a gray, green sea and again:

PEACE. Be still.

I awake from my dream, the blankets still clutched tight near my chin. As I think about events in my life I am reminded that it's not me. There are things and relationships that I cannot fix. In fact, I dare say, I cannot truly fix anything. The fixing is up to God and currently my role is to just be still and to acknowledge that we all have hurts... vulnerable places that the Lord wants to heal. However, the true healing, lasting peace, can only begin with surrender.

Today I surrender control, guilt, pride, shame, fear and the bondage that they bring.

I will try to no longer look in the mirror saying "I am not good enough" because that is a lie. I AM good enough, good enough for God to die for and adore. I am worthy not in and of myself, I am worthy because He loves me.

And YOU are worthy!!!

I have been on a quest for authenticity for years. I honestly desire for people to see the real me. I try to be transparent with those I know, including you my beloved readers. Sometimes that means I get hurt. At those times, I have two options:

1. I can sink back into old habits, covering up those areas of my life that others find offensive in order to find approval.

2. I can continue to be who God has called me to be and to not be ashamed, remembering that my value comes from Him and Him alone and not from my relationships, my ministry, or what I do.

Ever since I was a little girl I have loved people, have longed for deep relationship and have found joy in serving others. Fast forward 35 years and so much of that little girl still remains. There have been bumps, bruises and traumas along the way, but each has been a lesson. A practice to show compassion or a stumbling block to feed my hurt and anger. I have unfortunately done both. However I am more aware now.

I am aware of the vulnerable world we live in and how I am susceptible to it and I am grateful. I am grateful because I now know that through the pain and the hurt there is also joy and healing. If I were to numb the pain I would also be numbing the joy for you cannot selectively numb emotion. It is all or nothing. So although the trials are hard and painful I am grateful for them because they have taught me how to be free and have shown me that I am valued, I am worthy and I am enough.

I stand before the window, the stars are twinkling across the velvet sky. I pull the blanket around my shoulders and watch the moon cast it's beams across the frozen field. I'm vulnerable.. exposed... and yet that is okay because I have peace.

"An unstoppable force meets an immovable" (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0) by c@rljones

Peace in the stillness.

I stop and listen.. the wind has softened. The frantic searching is over and her wailing has turned to a soft whisper. She must have found what she was looking for.

In the Name of Love

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Sat, 17 Oct 2015 06:07:00 +0000

The baby is crying, my toddler is throwing his socks into the trash, our three year old is peeing in the flower garden, my five year old is pulling on my apron to show me the 59th picture she has drawn me today, my seven year old comes in with a bloody gash because of his most recent stunt on his bike, and my fourteen year old has an algebra question that is beyond my capability as I try to throw dinner together and talk to my Mom on the phone. My brain starts to melt down because it is all so overwhelming. I peek at the clock and think... he should be home soon and then I can breathe easier.
Then the cell phone goes off with a text "Sorry, am running late. Job is taking longer than I thought. Don't hold dinner for me." Instead of empathizing with what my husband is going through I have a pity party for myself and it is easy to allow resentment to creep in.

It had been a long week of temper tantrums, sleepless nights due to little ones waking up, bandages for boo boos, a malfunctioning dishwasher, a dryer that does not want to dry properly after having it serviced, running errands, teaching school, and a sense of overwhelm that was palpable in the air.

Headlights turn into our driveway and before he finishes parking the vehicle, six souls who call him "Daddy" scramble to the door to greet him. He enters our home covered in insulation, sweat, and a bit bloodied and bruised. I look at him with concern and he just says "it's nothing to worry about, just a little scratch". The children obviously are unaware of Daddy's exhaustion as they pounce on him and regale him with stories about their day.
"I can do a new stunt on my bike!"
" I peed in Mommy's flowers."
"I caught a new bug for my collection."
"I made you a card."
"Wanna hear my new joke?"

He does not complain. Instead, he welcomes them.

I breathe deeply.

He is home. Safe. Thank you Lord.

We don't have a lot of time to connect these days and I confess, there are times where I become resentful and bitter. There are times where I cry because I want a husband who is able to be more available, who is able to go out on a date night more than once/twice a year. A husband who can stay awake beside me to talk at night or share a quiet moment once the children are asleep. Tonight I longed to snuggle up beside him and watch a movie... something other than a Pixar film. We sit side by side on the couch and press "play". I knew once I felt his body relax beside me that it was over. He was gone. The snoring began and rather than becoming angry, tears filled my eyes.

Hard work by !paddy

I studied this man whom I have been married to for sixteen years.

His beard now flecked with silver, his hands are calloused, spotted with paint, nicked and worn from 12 hour days. He comes home exhausted from working 65 hours a week and yet he smiles, the laugh lines are evident on his face, that handsome face that captivated me oh so long ago and that still makes my heart beat rapidly.

Here was this man who breaks his body daily to put bread on our table. He works so hard so I can be home to teach the children and raise them up with the values we have put into place. The sacrifice he makes to our family is beyond what I ever imagined. He sacrifices his sleep and is awake well before the sun rises in order to get to his first job. Then while I am gathering the children around the table to eat breakfast and do our devotions, he is driving to his second job with hardly any time between shifts to have a break.

I gazed at him next to me and the reality hit me.

I have been so selfish.

I have only seen the piles of extra laundry from working in construction, the unfinished projects because "he is never home", the lack of date nights and cancelled plans because of long hours. I missed the big picture.

He does all of this because of his vast love for me and our family.

The tears coursed down my cheeks and my teenage son looked across the room at me as if asking "Are you okay?"
I replied "I just love your Daddy so much."
"I know you do Mom."
Then a voice says groggily "I love you too" before the snoring returns. My heart breaks as the guilt hits.

He does this for you.

It is not that he wants to be away from us for so long, he does not want to beat up his body every day with such physical labor just to make ends meet, he wants to provide for us and to show us his love by keeping a roof over our heads, food on our table and for me to be able to live out my dream of being at home to be with our beautiful children.

He chooses to sacrifice himself so I can be in this place at this time because it is what is best for our family.

He is a humble man, one who does not complain or whine. He takes what life hands him and makes the most of it. He comes home exhausted and pours himself out until there just isn't any more left to give.

I finally get it... finally see the truth rather than my selfish desires.

My darling husband, for all the times I have been exasperated, for all the times I have misunderstood you, and for the times I have simply not recognized how amazing you are... I am sorry.

I love you and cherish you. Thank you for all that you do for me and our family.

With love,
Dawna

The Days Are Long

noreply@blogger.com (Dawna) — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 19:55:00 +0000

"The days are long, but the years are short."

Boy Fishing from Pixabay

How true is that quote?! As a Mom the days are so long and weary that I forget in a few years these days will be gone. Sure there will be no more fights to break up, Legos to trip over, or sleepless nights. There will also be no more snuggle time as we read books in bed, late night talks with my teenager, little dimpled hands holding mine as we walk the field, pockets full of shells to empty from a day treasure hunting at the beach, boo boo's to kiss, game nights, a house full of teenagers laughing contagiously, sweet smiles and little voices saying "I love you Mommy". These precious ones of mine will grow up quicker than I could ever imagine. As I write this, my oldest is already talking about college, will be driving in a year and is ready to shave. Where does the time go?

I do not want to become so bogged down by the here and now, the fighting and squabbling, the piles of laundry, the mountain of dishes, and all that make the days long and weary that I am blind to the joy of these fleeting years that are passing before my eyes, like sand in a sieve.

My children will probably not remember everything we did today, in fact when I look back at my childhood the memories are scattered and few. However, I DO remember that I was loved and I pray that when my children look back on their childhood years they will remember the same. Please do take a moment today to read this short post by Anna from Feminine Adventures on Creating a Worldview Through Forgotten Moments, I pray that it inspires and encourages you today as it has me.

Many blessings as you journey through these precious years of motherhood beloved.

By His Grace,
Dawna