Some people do. Other people only think about doing. Those who do usually become successful and by “become successful” here I mean they get what they want. Those who only think about doing, more often than not, don’t become successful. In other words, they don’t get what they want. It’s really that simple.

If success, getting what you want, is your heart’s desire…

Here are three simple steps to becoming a man or woman of action, the person who *DOES*:

Simple Step #1 – Get Clear

The single, number one, biggest reason most people never get what they want is they’ve never decided exactly what it is they do want, what they *really* want, not what it is they think they should want or they’re supposed to want, but what they *really* want.

Therefore, they’re never quite sure exactly what it is they should be doing at any given point in time and thus, guess what they do? That’s right… nothing. Absolutely nothing!

My advice?

If you want to be successful…

Don’t you be one of them!

Decide, right now, once and for all, exactly what it is you *really* want in person, property, and environment and ponder upon it until it becomes crystal clear and absolutely definite in your mind.

As soon as you’re clear and definite about the end result you’re seeking, you’ll find the unfocused many things you could be doing quickly turn into the focused few things you should do to succeed.

Clarity and focus are two of the most critical success factors there are.

Warning: There’s not much point in going on to steps two and three until you’ve successfully completed step one.

Simple Step #2 – Get Organized

Speaking of clarity and focus, one of the single biggest reasons most folks never get around to the focused doing of those few vital things that’ll get them what they want is they’re so busy dealing with the absolute “mess” they’ve created of their lives, because of their lack of clarity, they haven’t the time to do them.

Once you’re clear about what you want, the end result you desire, your job is to go through your life and get rid of everything, and I do mean *EVERYTHING*, that’s not absolutely essential to its attainment and/or enjoyment.

Tip: If you have any people or things in your environment that I like to refer to as “energy sucker outers”, you know the ones, those people or things whose very presence just sucks the living life force right out of you, they especially need to go!

Simple Step #3 – Get Going

Once you’re clear about what you *really* want and you’ve eliminated *all* the distractions in your life that detract from your focus, your next step is…

Guess what?

That’s right…

Take ACTION!

It’s been said, “the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”. It’s also been said, “by the yard it’s hard, but by the inch it’s a cinch”. Start by taking one single step toward what you want, even if it’s just a “baby step”, regardless of what it is, and I think you’ll find, as I have, the Universe will begin moving what you want toward you.

Well, there you have them. Three simple steps to becoming the person who does, the man or woman who ultimately becomes successful. Get clear, get organized, and get going and you’ll be well on your way to success… getting what *YOU* want.

—–

Sick and tired of being the person who someday will? Want to
finally be the person who does? Then go Tony’s website at
http://creatingabetterlife.net/go/makingtheman/
right now and grab your copy of “Making the Man Who Can” by
Wallace D. Wattles. Start becoming the man or woman who can
TODAY!

—–

[Material Connection Disclosure: Creating a Better Life and Tony Mase have an affiliate connection.]
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Not too long ago, I wrote a completely biased review of the book “How to Be Rich and Happy” by Tim Brownson and John P. Strelecky. I mentioned in the review that John and Tim had set a goal of giving away one million copies of the book to those that need it most.

It’s on!

As of March 1, 2010, I’m officially no longer a paid affiliate of How to Be Rich and Happy… no one is. Tim and John are doing what they call a reverse tithe and putting 90% of the proceeds from the sales of the book into the giveaway.

They’ve also dropped the price of the book for those who can afford to pay something, but for whom the previous price points were just out of reach.

I won’t rehash everything about the prices, costs, and super cool stuff that Tim and John have thrown in for people who can afford to help out financially – you can read all about that on the One Goal, Two Authors, One Million Life-Changing Books… For Free page.

But I will ask that you really consider what you can do here.

At a minimum, if you weren’t able to get a copy of the ebook previously because of a financial issue – go get yourself a copy now. The price has dropped to $17, and even at that level you’ll be helping to get copies of the physical book out there. Of course, there are higher levels to help out at if you can (which include getting a physical copies of the book yourself), but at the very least, owning a copy of the ebook will not only help *you* to become Rich and Happy, it will really show you just how worthy the Million Book Giveaway is. Nevermind the fact that promoting something you really only know about through promotions seems a bit… silly?

Of course, in this age of social media, you can easily let thousands of others know about the giveaway. Blog about it, submit it to Facebook, Tweet about it… help to get the word out there.

Whatever you can do, from where you are, is more than enough – if you do it.

Here’s to making the world a Richer and Happier place!
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Failure is Good Mind Map by Paul Foreman of http://www.mindmapinspiration.com/.
Used with permission.

If you can remember, just a few years ago, you really looked like an idiot… laying around and trying to use the body you just discovered. It must’ve been painful, constantly bumping into stuff and falling over. People might have thought:

Come on, stop trying to roll over and stand up, it bothers me to see you fail so often. Yes, I can walk, big deal – but if your past progress is any indicator, it just isn’t going to happen for you, kid.

Oh, you got it down… well, good for you, I guess.

And another thing… you really sound like a moron while doing that whole “Mama” and “Dada” thing. Big deal, I can say “Mama” with my eyes closed and both hands tied behind my back.

Oh, so you can talk now… well aren’t we special?

And what’s up with the constant puking? Chewing and swallowing your food? Hah! As long as I haven’t polished off a a fifth of Jack Daniels, I can do that *and* keep it all down. Top that! Nope, see, you puked again… maybe we should just hook you up to an IV, and you won’t have to worry about it.

But now, look at you! Walking, talking, keeping down solid food…

Looks like you’ve done some growing.

—-

In the beginning, we were superstars and we let it shine – we walked when we couldn’t before, we aquired the power of speech in an amazingly short amount of time, and we learned to independently feed ourselves.

And we did it by failing… over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

But then, something happened.

Learning, growing, and doing took a back seat to comfort, ego, and complacency.

The superstar forgot who she was… and started to hide her light.

We began seeing, instead of our possibilities and goals, each of the mistakes we made… the failures.

And we thought they meant the end.

It became “Nope, not gonna try that again. Hurts too damn much.”

You can fill in your that with whatever you want – quitting smoking, losing weight, improving your financial situation, finding your soul mate.

Hurts too damn much.

Imagine a baby saying that to themselves after hauling herself up on her legs for the first time.

Maybe you don’t know this, or maybe you’ve heard it a million times before, but until you integrate it into your life and really start believing it, it won’t matter how many times it falls on your ears.

Failure. Is. Good.

See the failures, and find, as Napoleon Hill said, the seeds of success in them. Don’t deny that you fell… figure out what was good, what you can do better, and pull yourself up again.

Repeat after me.

Failure.

Is.

Good.

[Thanks to Paul Foreman of Mindmap Inspiration for the Mindmap that inspired this post, and Dragos Roua for his article The Fine Art of Making Mistakes.]
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This morning, I got an email message about a new ebook being published by Tony Mase – Making the Man Who Can by Wallace D. Wattles.

I bought it.

And I was blown away.

It’s short (only 35 pages), and it’s inexpensive (only 7 dollars as of this writing), but I got more out of this little ebook than out of some that I’ve paid much more money for.

Tony really knows how to offer more in use value than he asks in cash value!

Much like How to be Rich and Happy, it’s one of those products that I would be writing about whether I was an affiliate or not (I am, by the way. If you purchase the book through this link, or any in this article, I’ll get paid.)

If you’ve read anything by Wallace Wattles in the past, some of the book won’t be new to you. But personally, I pulled quite a few new distinctions from it.

Such as this one from Chapter 2:

“But even though you have a strong desire you will not put forth your best effort without confidence; you will have to think you can before you can.”

Many people (raising my own hand here) can get all caught up in the “Ya gotta wanna” idea. Yes, this is absolutely true – weak wishing or hoping will never make anything happen. A burning desire (as Napoleon Hill calls it in Think and Grow Rich) is a primary requirement for success in any area.

But what if you “wanna”, but don’t think you, um… “canna”?

That’s where the building of self-confidence comes in. And according to Wattles, one of the ways we can increase our self confidence by really taking to heart the idea that, due to the nature of things, any strong desire we have automatically contains the seeds of the ability to attain it.

Here’s how I see it – the seeds of doing anything are within us, but which ones we grow are up to us, and part of caring for and watering is in the building up of self-confidence and stoking the fire of our desire. No, I won’t be playing in any Super Bowls anytime soon… but I also have no desire to.

Here’s another distinction that really hit me:

“In living the new life the first essential is to abandon the idea of competition and of a limited supply. Too many people who consider themselves practitioners of the new thought never entirely succeed in doing this.” (from Chapter Six, The Law of Oppulence)

It’s great to pay lip service to the idea of limitless supply – but another thing to really live it. (Once again, raising my own hand here.) Wattles goes into depth on this idea as well, and explains that, while living the idea to a degree will produce a degree of success, completely ridding ourselves of the idea of lack and the need for competition (and I know of no one who has done this) can produce another degree of complete success.

And speaking of success, just what is it?

I’ll close off with Wattles’ definition:

“Success is becoming what you want to be.”

—

To purchase “Making the Man Who Can” by Wallace D. Wattles, please visit http://creatingabetterlife.net/go/makingtheman/
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I know… stupid question.

“Of course I haven’t reached my goals! I’m still ugly, sick, broke, and stupid!”

Hold on there, partner… let me tell you a story:

A few years back, I signed up for TUT’s Notes from the Universe (highly recommended, and yes, I am an affiliate). Along with the signup, as a way to personalize the messages, I was asked to fill out a little form. One of the things to enter was “If I could have anything, I would have…” (or something like that… it has been a while.)

I typed in “a profitable personal development business.”

And I sat back smuggly… look at that, me setting a SMART goal (yes, I know now that it really wasn’t, but back then, oh boy, I just thought I had it going on!)

Every once in a while, that little goal I had set would pop up in the regular emails… and I’d wonder when it was going to happen.

Just the other day, I realize – O My God… it has!

Profitable – an amount of money greater than zero when expenses are deducted from income.

Check.

Personal Development – Creating a Better Life, Free Personal Development Material, and my newest The Diary Of A Quitter are all centered around personal growth.

Check.

Business – When I filed my taxes this year, for the first time I included the income and expense forms as they relate to my websites.

Check.

Looks like I’ve got a Profitable Personal Development Business.

Ha! I’ve reached my goal!

It’s not anywhere near where it will be in the future, but it meets all of the criteria that I entered that day long ago.

The Lesson

While I’m not bashing my own accomplishment here, one thing that I could have done better (and have now done) is made the goal whole lot more specific – a dollar amount and a time frame are a good start.

This is pretty basic stuff (there’s really nothing new in personal development), but I’ll reiterate it here.

Get as specific as possible (the “S” in the SMART acronym) when setting your goals.

Otherwise, if your goal is to lose weight, then once you drop a pound or two you’ve achieved what you set out to do.

If your goal is to not smoke, then you’ve reached it anytime you aren’t smoking and don’t plan on having another one.

Yes, dropping a pound or two or not poisoning the air 24/7 is a good thing – but maybe we can do a little bit better.

It doesn’t have to be a lot… just a little bit better, a little bit at a time.

Just be SMART about it. (OK, that was corny… but true!)

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It’s always been fascinating to me just how interconnected our lives are.

I was reminded of this once again this morning when I noticed a link from this uplifting article on Amit Sodha’s “The Power of Choice”. In it, he describes how he used a quote that he came across here on Creating a Better Life in a talk to some students.

[Anyone out there know who first said "Fall Down Twice, Stand Up Three Times"? I'd really like to know where I got that from.]

So something I wrote way back when got used on the other side of the world to inspire some students who have never heard of me and I’ll probably never meet. Fascinating.. and pretty cool!

Let me explain why I’m blowing my own horn here.

About an hour before discovering Amit’s article, I was in a Facebook back and forth with Robin Skeen, in which I said that I’ve had writers block for a little more than a year now.

Yes, I’ve done some blogging (I was really in the zone when I wrote this review of “How To Be Rich and Happy”), but I’ve flaked quite a bit, both on writing for this blog, and on doing promised guest posts and reviews for others. (Extra apologies to Seamus and Chuck.)

There’s a very simple reason for my lack of production.

I stopped believing that I had anything worthwhile to say.

I mean, come on. I’m just a guy, working a low level job, an ex-drunk who still wrestles with depression and keeps picking up cigarettes no matter how many times he says “That’s It”.

And I’m going to write about personal development?

Yup!

Personal development isn’t about being perfect… it’s about development. It’s about learning to be a little better today than you were yesterday.

And if you were a little worse today? That just means that it’ll be easier to be better tomorrow.

For better or worse, you are permanently married to you. All you have to be is who you want to be. Actually, you don’t “have to” do anything – but it’s insane to measure yourself against anyone but yourself.

Own a software company? You don’t have to be Bill Gates.

Write fiction? Forget about being Stephen King.

Internet Marketer? There’s only one Mark Joyner.

Personal Development Blogger? Stop trying to be Steve Pavlina.

Not that we can’t learn from these people… they all have lessons to teach.

But I don’t want to be anyone by Lyman. “Writer’s Block” and all.

(Holy Moley… I think I just wrote something…)
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Have you ever been on a diet? Most of you probably said you have. Why is it that some people develop eating disorders and others don’t?

When someone talks about an eating disorder they are usually referring to anorexia, bulimia, compulsive overeating or some combination of the three.

What most people don’t understand is that an eating disorder is more than just a fad or a diet, it is a behavior that saturates all parts of the person’s life; it’s physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Focusing on food, weight, calories and exercise becomes a way to cope with feelings, emotions and life circumstances. The eating disorder behavior is just a symptom that something is not right internally.

Imagine a young girl, who at the age of thirteen was told by her doctor to lose weight, and went from 140 pounds down to 80 pounds in just 6 months, and for the next 23 years of her life, was in and out of treatment centers and hospitals fighting a life and death battle with anorexia, bingeing, compulsive exercise and suicide.

I know first hand what it’s like to have an eating disorder; because that young girl was me, but today I am happy and healthy.

Here’s my story:

Growing up I felt very different from other people. “I’m not pretty enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not funny enough, I’m not thin enough, I’m just not enough.” From my earliest memory I loved to eat. Food was my best friend and it was all I would think about. In school I couldn’t wait to get home because as soon as I got home food was there with open arms waiting for me. I was in love with food and spent a lot of time with it. Food was my best friend and it comforted me. I watched TV with it, I hid in the closet and under the bed with it, and I would steal money from my mom to go buy more food. “I love you food, you are always here for me.”

At age thirteen when I was told by a doctor to go on a diet, my relationship with food changed. Instead of eating it, I would just smell it, and then throw it down the garbage disposal. I became angry at food. Whenever I saw it I thought “You’re making me fat, that’s why nobody likes me.” I started eating less and less and focused more on taking care of the people around me, trying to please them. “Will you love me if I cook and clean for you, how about if I agree with you and do exactly what you say, will you love me then?” Even when I did these things, it still wasn’t good enough and I felt like a failure.

“Hello Exercise”

As I was slowly letting go of food, exercise became my next best friend. I didn’t exercise a lot at the beginning, but when I started losing weight, I began to exercise more and more. Not only did it make me feel good, but it helped me to lose weight. Both the feeling of exercise and losing weight was so gratifying internally and externally, that I didn’t want to stop.

Everywhere I went people were telling me; “wow Debra, you look great.” I began to build my sense of self around the success and positive attention I got for being thin. For the first time in my life I felt acknowledged and appreciated. I thought, “This is the best feeling ever.”

My relationship with food now became a secret love affair. When I was with food no one was allowed to disturb me or see me eat, it was as if I was doing something bad. I wanted to eat, but it was a struggle because I thought if I did, I would get fat and lose all the positive attention I was getting. The more I cut back on food, the more bizarre my eating became. “I’m hungry and I want to eat, but if I do, I’ll get fat. Okay cheerios, I will eat 6 of you one at a time. I see you banana, but you are too big. I’ll cut you in half, nope, still too big. Okay, I’ll eat you but I’ll have to cut you in thirty pieces so you will last a long time.” I stopped using utensils and ate everything with my fingers; it was easier to eat slowly that way.

“Finally, it’s Monday, it’s binge day! I’m free. Come here ice cream, ooh and chocolate cupcakes, and my favorite chocolate peanut butter cups, I see you pop-tarts, chocolate pudding, brownies, finally, I get to eat.”

I ate the same foods, at the same time, in the same way everyday, unless it was Monday, which was binge day. Eating this way became my “comfort” zone (so I thought) actually I never felt comfortable; it was just a shield that I hid behind that I thought kept me “safe.” The eating disorder became a mask that was comfortable, not because it fit, but because I did it for so long.

Have you ever been in a situation where you were upset, worried or anxious and finally found something that made you feel better? And what was it that made you feel better? And did you continue to go back to that person, place or thing to help you feel better? Well, this is how addictions often start. Whenever I felt bad, I would engage in the eating disorder behavior to feel better. At the beginning I used the behaviors to lose weight, and because losing weight made me feel good, over time I would engage in the behaviors to help me feel better and to cope with uncomfortable feelings and situations. After awhile I became trapped, my mind took over, my behavior became automatic making it more difficult to stop and I was on a path of self destruction.

My life was consumed by eating disorder behaviors. If I wasn’t eating, I was exercising, reading cook books or baking for others. I loved food and was obsessed with it, but I didn’t allow myself to enjoy it because of the association I had with it. Having food inside me gave me a sense of connection to my body, and I didn’t want to be connected to something I hated (which was me). Whenever I ate, my emotions and feelings became more intense. I used food as a child to stuff down all my uncomfortable feelings. Now when I ate, those feelings would surface and I didn’t want to feel them so I would exercise all day because it was the only thing I knew that would help me feel better.

I thought that if I sat still for longer than a minute I’d get fat. When I looked down at my thighs I literally thought I saw them spreading right before my eyes. When I looked in the mirror I saw myself as a 500 pound woman. My fears and negative thoughts about myself were being transferred into how I viewed my body.

Being so consumed with food and exercise I didn‘t have to deal with anything else. I was determined to stop the process of life. “I don’t want to grow up; I don’t know how to take care of myself, I don’t deserve to live, please someone, show me you love me by taking care of me.” I was too frightened to take responsibility for myself.

I was forcing my body into a form approved by others but completely opposite from my true nature. Food, exercise, my body and love all became intertwined. The feeling of food inside my body triggered a panic response and I would immediately exercise to “soothe it.” The feelings didn’t go away; I was just pushing them down more and more by running. It worked up until it didn’t.

After dwindling down to 80 pounds at 5 feet 6 inches tall, I entered my first hospital at age 14, and for the next 23 years of my life I lived in an eating—exercising trance. At the beginning it gave me a sense of power and control, but after awhile I was being controlled by my thoughts and behavior and I felt like I no longer had a choice. There were times when I when I was so desperate to stop the behavior and when I couldn’t, I attempted to kill myself thinking that would be the solution.

My inner and outer worlds seemed too frightening and the eating disorder became my protection. I did it for so long; it turned into my identity and automatic way of life. I was a robot, existing but not living. My body was just a vehicle responding to the dictates of my mind. The more I did the behavior, the more I impressed the thoughts and ideas on my subconscious mind, making them fixed and habituated. Even when I made some changes it didn’t last because the thoughts and behaviors were so engrained.

I continued to get worse over the years even after going through numerous hospitals and treatment centers. I ran to hospitals and treatment centers looking and begging for some relief, which I got, but it was only momentarily. As soon as I left, and was responsible for my life, I resorted right back to the eating disorder behaviors and once again became trapped. I temporarily changed my physical appearance, but I never changed the unconscious patterns and limiting beliefs I held about myself and the world, thus I automatically went back to my old patterns. I was filled with so much fear and self hatred and didn’t feel that I deserved to or even wanted to live.

Everyone around me got frustrated because they didn’t understand; know what to do or how to help. At the beginning I got praise for losing weight, but when I became too thin, I received blame, anger and resentment from significant others. The things that were said to me made me feel even worse about myself, and I would continue to starve and/or binge and exercise to escape those feelings. It was a lose-lose situation all around.

My life was contained and controlled. Nothing could come in and I wouldn’t come out. I had such a negative perception of myself and the world. I didn’t allow myself to enjoy nice things because I felt that I didn’t deserve them. I didn’t travel because I wouldn’t have access to my “safe foods.” I limited my time with people because it would get in the way of eating or exercising. I was locked inside my “safe” house or should I say a prison of my own creation, looking out the windows and watching everyone else enjoying their lives. I was playing two roles, the mean prison guard and the prisoner.

People would say to me, “I wish I was as thin as you. Or I wish I was anorexic.” I don’t think they truly understood the torture I was living in. Most people think that it’s just about being thin and able to control food. I always wanted to say; “Okay, you want to be anorexic; here’s the deal, NO MORE FUN, EVER AGAIN! How’s that! “You can only eat certain foods, and they must be eaten at a certain time in a certain way, you can’t change your schedule for any reason, you have to wake up at the same time every morning, you must keep moving all day long to burn calories, you can’t try anything new because you won’t like it and you’ll fail, you can buy new clothes but you can’t wear them, you must put others first, you must constantly put yourself down, do you want me to keep going because there’s more.” Being anorexic means depriving yourself of any pleasure.

Doctors, treatment centers and hospitals wouldn’t allow me to come back after numerous visits. It seemed as if everyone gave up on me. This was actually the best thing that happened because I kept doing the same things over and over again expecting different results.

The anorexia served a purpose in my life; it gave me a sense of comfort, safety, and control. It worked up until the moment it didn’t. By taking small steps everyday in loving myself, and changing my perception to a more empowered way of viewing things, I started to get in touch with “the real me” and live from my true desires. As I did this the eating disorder started to slowly fade. Yes, life does have challenges, and these challenges are here to make me stronger.

I’m very grateful for everything that has happened and continues to happen in my life, it has made me who I am today. Through my experiences I gain tremendous insight and become more enlightened. Life is process, a never ending journey and everyday we get to learn something new and exciting about ourselves and the world around us. We are more than just a body, there is a tender spirit inside each one of us that is beautiful, happy, and loving, and wants to shine. Will you let it?

Steps to Overcome an Eating Disorder

First and foremost know you’ve done nothing wrong. Be gentle and loving with yourself and treat yourself as if you were the most important person in the world, because you are. Recovery is a process. Don’t beat yourself up if you fall back, just get right back up from where you are and continue to move forward.

Embrace all your experiences from the past and in the present because they serve a purpose. See what you can learn from them. You might want to try viewing them from a different perspective.

Surround yourself with people who support and love you unconditionally. People who allow you to have you own feelings and experiences without trying to change them.

Take moments in the day to be still and experience your feelings and emotions fully. Embrace any and all feelings that come up and allow them to just be there without analyzing or judging them. Once you allow yourself to experience your feelings fully, you will be able to receive the messages they are bringing you. This can open a door of tremendous insight and guidance. When we let go of something old, we allow something new to emerge.

Stop at the first thought of engaging in the eating disorder behavior and ask yourself, “How did I know it was time to do this.” Write in your journal and see what comes up for you. This will help you understand what is really going on.
Speak your truth regardless how you might think others will respond. It might be frightening at first, however, you will gain more respect and trust in yourself and from the people around you.

Honor the fact that you’ve been given this life experience to do something wonderful. You might not know what that is yet, but as you allow things to fall away that no longer serve you, the real you will shine. You are not an object; and you are not the eating disorder. You are a precious human being who deserves to have a beautiful, happy and abundant life.

Meditation is a way to quiet your mind from all the chatter. It can also be a way to access your inner wisdom and true self. By doing this you will often be guided in making better choices for your yourself.

Find a hypnotherapist who can help you reframe past hurts, negative thoughts and limiting beliefs you hold about yourself. Because the mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real or imagined, hypnosis is a safe place for you to experience what it would be like to think and act differently. This new way of thinking will start to override the old.

Notice the things you think and say. Whenever you think or speak in ways that don’t serve you, immediately change your thoughts or words to ones that do, (even if you don’t believe it) and repeat them in your mind over and over until you feel something shift inside you.

Everyday do something new, even if it’s just getting out of bed on a different side. Once your subconscious mind becomes familiar with change, it will be open to more. By aligning your conscious mind with your subconscious, you’ll become more relaxed and at peace and your life will start to flow more easily.

You are a precious gift, take some time to get to know the beautiful being you are. You are already perfect; you have all the tools inside you to be you. You deserve to live a happy, peaceful and abundant life, are you ready?

—

Debra Mittler is the author of Free yourself from Anorexia and Bulimia now available at www.HypnosisIsFreedom.com and Amazon.com. Along with her personal journey of insight and revelation are a series of step-by-step processes and questionnaires designed to help the reader build confidence, improve self esteem, and replace negative thinking patterns and behaviors with positive ones that build personal growth, strength and power.

Debra Mittler is a Certified Hypnotherapist, Speaker, author and Life Coach in Culver City, California. She has individual clients for all areas of self improvement as well as speaks on eating disorders and teaches self-hypnosis classes.

For more information contact:

Debra Mittler
Debra@HypnosisIsFreedom.com
www.HypnosisIsFreedom.com

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[editor's note: This is an excerpt from the book "How to Be Rich and Happy" by Tim Brownson and John P. Strelecky. Feel free to read my review of the book at this link. Please note that I do have an affiliate relationship with Tim and John. Also note that, as explained in the book, stories in the first person can be either Tim or John.]

You are both the problem and the solution in bringing your Rich and Happy life into being. But who is you?

The fact that you are aware of the voice inside your head doing play by play commentary as your life evolves, means that you are something more than just your physical body. And that’s a huge Rich and Happy insight.

For most people, every perception they hold of themselves is an illusion. It started being created before they were even born and continues to be created each day that they let it.

Perhaps you were one of those children who people said was “forgetful”, or “shy”, or “not very coordinated,” or some other hand-me-down belief. Now that you are an adult, you may even find yourself telling others the same thing – “Oh, I can’t go speak to my new boss about my interest in that new position, I’m just too shy,” or “I’d like to go try that, but I’m just not that adventurous.”

Maybe your family’s financial situation, ancestry, where you were born, your hair color, and who knows what else, resulted in a bombardment of stereotype categorizations from not just the people around you, but also from movies, television, and advertisements.

The good news for you, is that your situation is not unique. Everyone has someone out there who at one time or another has told them who or what they are, or who or what they could become. Probably way more than one person.

There’s something important you need to know though.

Rich and Happy people realize that part of the Rich and Happy formula is choosing who you are going to be and how you are going to act.

That’s right, you get to choose. You can take a look at everything you are, all the ways you act in different situations, and then keep the ones you like, and replace the one’s you don’t.

Let me give you an example of this.

Chad grew up in a very non-traditional home. When he was young his parents got divorced, his mom then chose an alternative lifestyle and moved her kids around the country with little focus on security, including if they’d have food on the table each day. In his early teens, the sheriff showed up at the place they were staying and evicted them because of non-payment of rent. With no way to support them, his mom sent them to their dad who they hardly knew. That lasted for a few years until Chad left and went out on his own.

Hardly a nurturing and carefree environment to grow up in. And according to Chad, it showed in his approach to almost everything. Although he tried to mask it, his inner world was a perpetual state of fear and concern about what might happen next, or go wrong next. Some of the manifestations of this, were that decision making was very stressful for him, as were social situations. His fears about saying or doing something “wrong”, which would then lead to unknown trauma, were paralyzing him.

Finally one day, he had a personal epiphany. He decided that instead of accepting the emotional and then the corresponding physical state he always felt when he became stressed and fearful, he would choose a different one.

The next time he sensed his anxiety level start to go up, he asked himself a very simple question. A Rich and Happy question. “If I were James Bond, how would I feel, and what would I do right now?”

The answer that he instantly knew, was that if he were James Bond, he would proceed in a calm, cool, self-confident, fashion. So he pretended he was James Bond, and did those things. It proved to be a life-changing decision.

Chad chose to stop acting in alignment with the illusion that he had allowed others to convince him his life was, and instead, chose his own behaviors and actions.

Now James Bond may not be the right choice for you. Maybe it’s Laura Croft, Spiderman, a former teacher you had, some particular friend, relative, historical figure… The choices are endless.

They can be real people, someone from the past, a fictional character, whoever. It doesn’t matter who the person is. All you have to do is think of the attributes or personality traits they exhibit, that you want to have as well, and then act like they do.

What matters is that you realize you are the one in control of picking, and that the new way in which you act after you have chosen, is even more accurate than the ways you currently act, because the new ways reflect you making your own choices.

My own encounter with this piece of the Rich and Happy formula occurred shortly after I began my Rich and Happy quest.

I was traveling with a co-worker and we were discussing some of the other people we worked with. I mentioned that I really admired one particular person because they never seemed to let things get to them. They had the ability to maintain not only a state of calm, but a positive attitude at all times.

I looked at my co-worker and commented how I wished I was more like that. My co-worker turned to me and uttered words that changed my life. He smiled and said, “So be more like that.”

As strange as it may sound, that was the first time I realized that the choice was mine.

Do you remember the earlier material about beliefs? Well, in a given situation as you are choosing to be James Bond, Laura Croft, or some other person, keep in mind that we demonstrate the beliefs we hold not just by the characters we choose to be, but by the whole stories we choose to tell.

Whether you have thought about it before or not, the truth is, we all tell stories. It’s how we communicate. When somebody calls me to talk about coaching, I hear their story and I offer my story back. This may be something as banal as the person telling me they want to book an appointment to talk about stress and me replying I haven’t got anything available for two weeks because I’m fully booked. Or it can be something more complex like a client going into detail telling me they hate their job, their boss and their life.

Not only do you tell stories to other people, but you tell them to yourself too. Stories about being unlucky or unworthy, about not being lovable or not clever enough. Stories of failing with the opposite sex, or even the same sex, and stories about being a victim.

However, our stories are only true if we make them true by believing in and living them.

Imagine Steven Spielberg sat you down in front of a computer and told you he wanted to film the story of your life. Not as it has been, but as you would like it to be from now on, and this is your chance to write the script. What would you write?

Would you compose a rip snorting, page turning, blockbuster of a story that takes your breath away in which you live a Rich and Happy life? Or would you copy and paste the same old stuff over from yesterday because it’s easier?

The answer should depend on what you really want and not what you believe you deserve or are capable of.

There is a book called The Hero With A Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell. In it Campbell describes the ‘Monomyth’ or as it is more frequently called now, ‘The Hero’s Journey’.

The Hero’s Journey is an adventure, a rites of passage, that has been used as a formula by many great writers stretching back hundreds of years. Hollywood turns to it on a regular basis and it has been the structure for dozens of blockbuster movies such as Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Magnificent Seven, The Matrix, Independence Day, Star Wars, Harry Potter and many of the Disney films.

What if you used this formula for your life?

What if you decided to sit down and plan your life with blank paper? What if you fully believed that what happened yesterday doesn’t necessarily effect what will happen tomorrow – unless you want it to?

Think of the endless possibilities.

The Hero’s Journey is broken into three stages; The Departure, The Initiation and The Return. Each stage is broken down still further so that you can have up to seventeen component parts depending on how exciting you want it to be.

The only rule being that you always write a happy ending, which in this case, is a Rich and Happy ending.

The Beginning: The journey starts with the hero being in a situation where they are not completely comfortable or happy with their life. Maybe they are on automatic pilot, always struggling for money or stuck in a dead-end job they hate?

Are you 100% satisfied with your life? Do you know deep down there are changes you could make that would improve it beyond measure. Do you yearn to be Rich and Happy?

The Call To Adventure: Then the hero gets a call to action. Something happens that makes them realize they have to act.

How many times have you heard that internal voice telling you that there is more to life than this? How many calls to action have you ignored in your life?

The Refusal of the Call: The hero refuses the call because of fear that they are not able to complete the task.

Until now you have refused the call to be Rich and Happy, that’s why you’re reading this book. Most likely it is self-doubt and/or fear that has held you back.

The Mentor: The hero is convinced by a wise mentor or teacher that they can indeed be a hero and complete the task. The mentor can be a real person, an apparition, a character in a book…

Of course you may not know all the details yet about your own Rich and Happy future, but the seeds of possibility have been planted. For your adventure, as long as you become convinced you can be the Rich and Happy person you want to be, it doesn’t matter who or what gets you to that stage?

Crossing The Threshold: The Hero is on his or her way now and advancing towards their destiny.

You’re reading this book, you’re doing the exercises and you’re starting to believe you can be Rich and Happy. Brilliant stuff because you’re over the threshold.

The Belly of the Whale: This is the stage that can in some cases be the lowest point. The hero is trying to make sense of their new world. Who are their allies, who are their foes?

This may be the confusing part for you as you try out new thoughts and ideas and shift your thinking. It’s also the stage where you decide who is with you and who is against you. Some friends and family will be scared by your Rich and Happy changes because it will remind them that they aren’t the person they want to be. Others will genuinely fear for you and advise you to retain the status quo and avoid future disappointment. A chosen few though will throw their support behind you and these will be your confidants as you move forward.

The Test: You know this scene in the movies. The one where the hero is tested in a fight scene. This can be anything from a shoot out at the OK Coral to fighting Aliens in outer space or dueling with dragons.

You will be tested as well. Don’t worry, you almost certainly won’t have to defeat fire-breathing dragons, and if you do, you can earn a fortune uploading the video to YouTube. You may have to deal with people trying to slow you progress though. Or maybe you will have to address your own personal fire-breathing dragon- giving a speech in front of an audience, approaching a complete stranger who you realize is an important Who, submitting your proposal for that book you’ve always wanted to write. Something will test your conviction and resolve, and YOU WILL TRIUMPH!

The Reward: This is usually where the hero gets the girl/boy, sack of cash, Holy Grail etc.

We’re fresh out of Grails, either holy or otherwise, so you’re going to have to make do with being Rich and Happy at this stage.

I have left out a couple of stages at the end where the Hero heads home and faces, then overcomes danger one more time. This may or may not be your path as well. If it is, just like before, you will triumph.

Changing your life now and deciding to become Rich and Happy is a hero’s journey that requires powerful beliefs. Beliefs that tell yourself you can be the person you want to be and live the life you want to live.

If the current story you are telling yourself and others doesn’t serve you, now is the time to change it.

You can follow the full outline of the Heroes Journey, right from the beginning, but why bother? We know you have passed through the early stages so let’s move on to the good stuff.

Start composing a great story that has a brilliant, stunning, fabulously gorgeous hero in it called you. A hero that lives the most amazing Rich and Happy life.

If you envision a piece of the story and it seems unrealistic, change that belief! Undermine it, ridicule it and give it a good thrashing because it’s an old belief that’s no longer relevant to you.

Now that you understand how much of your life is yours to write, your paradigm has shifted, and you are now realizing that you can have this thing called Rich and Happy.

If this all seems too good to be true, learn from the story of Hugh Hefner, a man who at a young age learned the power of writing his own story.

As a young boy, Hugh Hefner had an intensely creative mind. He would spend hours writing stories and creating comic strips that were incredibly detailed in their depth. By the time he was in his teens, he had started numerous small newspapers where he was the writer and editor, and he even wrote, directed and starred in a fifteen-minute horror film.

Although Hefner had a small group of close friends, by and large he was shy and more closed when he was around other people. The outgoing and adventurous Hugh Hefner was the character he created in his mind and in his stories, not who he was in everyday life. When he was about to become a junior in high school, Hefner had his heart broken when a female classmate of his who he was interested in, invited someone else to go with her to a social function.

Hefner was crushed, and so he decided to apply his creative skills and write a new story for who and what Hugh Hefner the actual person was. The new Hugh Hefner would go by the name of “Hef,” would be stylish, a good dancer, and be suave in his behavior. As Hefner described it, the new him would be “A lanky Sinatra-like guy…a very original fellow, he has his own style…”

Hefner not only wrote this new story of his life, he believed it, and started to live it, and the rest of the world adopted it as truth. Within months he became one of the most popular students at his high school, emerging as a leader within the school’s social circles, and was elected class president his senior year.

Hefner realized that his life was like a movie and he was the leading man. Just like with all the other stories and comics he wrote, as the lead writer and illustrator for his own life, he got to choose the type of person he was, the adventures he would get into, and the people he would associate with.

Interestingly, at a low point in Hefner’s adult life, when he was struggling once again to find his place in the world, it was a return to his old high school that re-invigorated him, and re-reminded him of the power he had to write his own life. That experience, nine years after he had graduated high school, was the catalyst that inspired him to start his own magazine, which became the Playboy empire he is most known for today.

—

Want to read more? You can download the first 3 chapters of ‘How to be Rich and Happy’ for free – just visit the book’s website by clicking here.
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Back in November of ‘09, Tim Brownson sent me a copy of the new book he had written with John P. Strelecky – “How to be Rich and Happy.”

I thanked Tim, saved the book to my hard drive, and it sat there for a while next to the 300+ other ebooks that I’ve downloaded and never opened again.

(I know, shocking! You’ve never purchased and/or downloaded something that could potentially change your life, and never touched them again, have you?)

I’m just glad that I do have a relationship with Tim through his blog and on Twitter. Every time he or someone else would mention the book, I’d think “I really should get around to reading that.”

I finally did. I read it on my laptop, transferred it to my iPhone so I could read it on my lunch hour at work, and even printed out and did quite a few of the exercises.

Let’s get this out of the way – there’s no way I could write a completely unbiased review of “How to be Rich and Happy.” I like Tim (no, I don’t like like him), and the links to the book in this post are affiliate links – which means that I get a percentage of the sale when you purchase the book through the links in this review. No matter how much of a saint I think of myself as, with cash and friendship at stake – let the reader beware. (I’m no longer a How to Be Rich and Happy affiliate… the Million Book Giveaway is on! Click here for my update.)

I will say this, though… I wouldn’t be writing this if “How to be Rich and Happy” hadn’t both taught me some major lessons on living the life that I want to live, and motivated me to take action to make that possible.

A Definition

In the book, Tim and John define Rich and Happy this way:

“Rich and Happy is the ability to do whatever you want, whenever you want.”

Take a moment to really think about that…

Whatever you want.
Whenever you want.

To be honest, my first reaction to that was “You’re kidding, right? Impossible.”

I started to wonder if this was one of those “You’re going to be made of money, thin, and master of your domain in under six weeks” kind of books.

It isn’t. As a matter of fact, there’s a whole chapter – “How to be Patiently Realistic” – about how long it can take before our goals can come to fruition.

Rich and Happy Minutes

While you are working on making that fruition happen, you can use one of the concepts that John and Tim describe in the book. You can log some “Rich and Happy minutes” throughout your life. The more of these minutes you rack up, the more of a Rich and Happy life you have.

Here’s an example:

Sitting in front of the T.V. because you’re dead tired from working a 12 hour day at a job you hate? No Rich and Happy minutes for you. (duh.)

Watching Lost on T.V. because you really love the drama, mystery, and intrigue – and don’t really care what your wife thinks about the fact that you’ve seen every episode at least three times? Now those are some Rich and Happy minutes! Come on, February 2nd!

Frivolous? I think not.

The point is that no one but you can decide what a Rich and Happy minute is for you. Since reading the book, I find myself asking “Is the time I’m using right now ‘Rich and Happy’ time?” If it isn’t, just the awareness motivates me to find something more rich and happy to do. Or think. Or be.

When you invest your time in ways that both rack up Rich and Happy minutes and move you toward completion of your goals… double extra win!

This was a very powerful concept for me personally. When I used the value ranking exercise in the book to determine exactly what was most important to me, I could see much more clearly what activities were adding to my Rich and Happy life, and which ones were not.

The Rich and Happy Matrix

Another great way to determine how close or how far you are from your Rich and Happy Life is to take a look at what the authors call the “Rich and Happy Matrix” – a 3×3 matrix, with the horizontal-axis tracking money movement from going out, to not moving, to coming in, and the vertical axis tracking happiness from not happy, to average, to happy.

(Believe me, it’s a lot simpler than it sounds, and the pretty pictures and diagrams in the book make it much clearer than I ever could here.)

It was fascinating to see where I am currently in the Matrix, and to consider where I’ve been in the past. Just over 10 years ago, I was deep deep deep in the poor and unhappy quadrants – 7 and 8, sometimes in 9, but not often enough. For about five years after that, I spent about half of my time in the poor and unhappy, and the other half in the “quiet desperation” quadrants (hat tip to Thoreau) 4, 5, and 6.

Now, I feel like I’m dancing between the Rich and Happy Quadrants and the quiet desperation quadrants… with more and more time in the 1, 2, and 3 areas.

At this very moment, I’m in quadrant 2 – doing what I love to do (writing/publishing), and not spending or making any money (ok, the electric bill will need to get paid, so maybe 1). Once this article is actually published, I’ll be in 3.

Reading the book was Rich and Happy Time, and writing this review is Rich and Happy Time.

The Bad

So this is the part of the review by the affiliate where I’m supposed to talk about what I didn’t like about the book and what the authors got wrong, but I can overlook it and am more than happy that I forked over X amount of dollars and so should you!

Well, since Tim was kind enough to send me a copy gratis, I forked over exactly zero dollars for the book, so that’s a no go, and I can’t honestly say I would have spent 47 dollars on a self-help ebook. That’s mainly due to my current finances, but with a conflict of interest here, who knows?

I did just spent about 10 minutes taking a break from writing this so I could specifically think about stuff that I could bash.

I came up with nothing when it comes to the content. I’ve read other reviews of the book that said the title set the bar too high, but I’m not sure that the writers of those reviews really got the concept of logging Rich and Happy minutes.

Probably the only thing that I had trouble with was the layout.

On a standard computer screen, it’s beautiful. Printed out, also great.

Reading it on my iPhone on my lunch hour at work… not so much greatness. The beauty of the 2-column layout didn’t translate well to the small screen. My only suggestion to the authors would be to create a secured plain text pdf version that a person could download along with the original for easy, on the go reading.

[side note for iPhone/iPod Touch users: GoodReader did do a passable job of reformatting it in it's PDF Reflow mode – actually, it was more than passable, maybe even excellent, considering the markup the book has.]

The Wrap-Up

So, recommended or not?

Have you read this review?

Yes, 47 dollars (the asking price at the time of this writing) may seem high to some for an ebook.

But Tim and John are doing exactly what another personal development writer of a similar book suggested:

“Give every man more in use value than you take from him in cash value; then you are adding to the life of the world by every business transaction.” – Wallace D. Wattles in The Science of Getting Rich

I know that in the short time I’ve already spent reading and applying (light waves hitting our eyes on a screen won’t make anyone Rich and Happy) the concepts, principles, and exercises in How to be Rich and Happy I’ve logged more Rich and Happy minutes than in the nearly two months that it sat, unread, on my hard drive.

And that’s worth 47 bucks to me. If you aren’t sure if it would be to you, you can download the first three chapters for free on the book’s web page.

And if you still aren’t sure, consider this from the book’s page:

GUARANTEE: Purchase and read the How to be Rich and Happy manual. If within twelve months after putting the formula to work in your life, you aren’t living the Rich and Happy existence you defined for yourself – let us [Tim and John] know, and your investment will be returned in full.

So you’re out zero money if the principles in the book don’t work.

Final Note

Tim and John also have set a huge goal for themselves when it comes to this book – they’d like to get in the hands of people who really need it, but may not have the financial resources to obtain it. If you are interested in helping out, be sure to read Tim’s blog post: Call That A Goal? THIS is a Goal!

Thanks for reading… now go buy the book and start racking up some serious Rich and Happy minutes in your life.
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This is a simple process to help you ask your Authentic Self for guidance, and know when you receive the answer.

1. First you have to feel really good. You can’t get a clear answer if your energy is low. To get what you’re asking for, get your vibrations clear by feeling really, really good. The easiest way to do this is to think of something that makes you happy. Remember a time in the past where you were fully engaged and joyful. Hold that place in your mind for a few moments.

   You can’t skip this step and expect to be successful. Anything you receive from asking in a low-energy point, will be skewed.

2. Ask a clear question. You want to know exactly what you’re asking. Vague questions get vague answers. Ask your Authentic Self something specific, preferably focusing on a solution rather than a problem.
   Instead of asking, “What do I do about (problem ),” ask, “What is the next logical step to creating (desired outcome ).” In asking for a solution, you get a solution. Remember that the Law of Attraction gives you more of what you put your attention to, so if you ask for help on a problem, you will get more problems.

   You want to spend a significant amount of time formulating your question. (As much time as you need to, in order to feel comfortable asking it.)

3. Clear your mind. The Authentic Self is quiet. It won’t fight the ego, so the trick is to quiet the ego in the first place. Once you are feeling great, and know the question you want to ask, clear your mind of all thought with meditation.

   Many people hate meditation, but this is the quickest way to clear the mind. The other alternative is to flood your mind with positive thought, and when you’re struggling that can be very difficult. Eliminating all thought is much easier than eliminating only negative thoughts, so I highly recommend meditation.

4. Trust what comes. If you follow the above steps, you will find your answer. Trust what it says and follow up with action. Keep in mind that you aren’t necessarily going to receive the exact answer that you predict. Like the saying, “The Lord works in mysterious ways” states, sometimes you get an answer that doesn’t make any sense to you at the time. Follow it anyway and when you receive exactly what you’re asking for, you can look back and see why it needed to happen the way it did.

   You will receive what you are asking for via “the path of least resistance,” according to the non-physical beings Abraham (Hicks) and sometimes it doesn’t show up like you want it to. Let go of the how and trust what your Authentic Self tells you.

Kimberly Englot is the Authentic-Life Coach, & CEO of Authentic Self Personal Development. Her VIP Coaching and group programs teach you to discover your authentic self and be free to change careers, find relationships, lose weight and pursue greatness! Clear away 6 years of “baggage” in 6 weeks with The Master LIFE Cleanse.

Become a Free Basic Member of Authentic Self for free tips, tools, audios and more! Go to http://www.kimberlyenglot.com
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