Creating a Hopeless Poetry + Art

Little Birdie

2017-04-03T17:51:00.000-07:00

02.04.2017 - Myer's Park, Auckland.

Bowie T-shirt at the playground,
But nobody wants to play with her,
Tiny & small as a Little Birdie can be,
Unable to climb, slide down or run free,
Without falling.

She looked & stare in hope to be meet,
Non came by or wants to be greet,

But lose hope not Little Birdie,
for you will & have already found,
All you need is to look no further,

Your friend who always stood by,
Is always your Father.

The man of the hour.

-------------------------------------------------------

It's easy to make friends, but it takes time to make real friends.

Shadow.

2016-11-28T05:17:00.001-08:00

Great black the shape created,
Follows the person wherever he wanted,
Never fails to be behind,
Only when there is no shine,
the black may be faded.

True to the body,
Loyal to the person,
Always a supporter,
Never given an appreciation.

Since emotion is faceless,
No lines can be seen,
The feelings is hopeless,
No bones to straighten,
No where to lean.

Faded as black,
Nobody to keep track,
Just a figure behind,
Trialling as he shines.

I Am..

2013-09-20T21:44:00.000-07:00

i am....

i wish upon you, love of the heart,

u never seen any of it as such,

to you, my most beautiful ones,

my love and my heart binds,

tears i felt thinking of you,

of not sadness, but joy,

u fill me with laughter,

in a jar full of happiness,

i can never find a way to thank you,

for the lights in me,

shine in colours of true,

u came in me at when, i not expect,

and quick i was, to accept,

for the special thing i felt in sense,

when Ur closeness appear and i felt tense.

will i not felt calm before i knew you,

will i not felt soft before i see you,

than it was how we thought it was suppose to be,

then it's now, how it is supposed to be.

i gazed into you, deep into nature,

i am Ur past, i am Ur present and i am Ur future.

have i always been there,

we not know,

until the day he send u back,

into me, u have grow.

will Ur roots expend deep in me,

as my love for you showers energy,

it will not be easy for you to break,

for it has grown so hard,

a million years will one take.

my love,

keep me safe when i gazed,

deep into u, as deep as nature,

for i am Ur past, i am Ur present, and forever i am Ur future.

(Feb 09, 2007)

Layers.

2013-06-28T01:10:00.002-07:00

The sweet savor of a flaky skin,

Dough in layers,

Layers of beauty within,

The caramelized coat on the lushes fruits,

All in one bite as it taste so good.

Small and petite,

For every one's treat,

Never to fail,

To to tell a tale.

For a small sweet savor,

Blast with loads of flavors,

Telling one a true story,

Of a man from the bakery.

Stood the passionate baker,

14 hours straight!

Who rolled, fold, baked and made.

With love of course, for God's sake!

Home is Where Ever We Are.

2013-06-20T06:55:00.001-07:00

Little by little, the house feels empty,

Only to see whats there to be,

Only memories be filled in this mind of beings,

As time goes by, will this heart heals,

The habitat we made in a place not ours,

We thank HIM oh' ALLAH, for all HIS powers,

To give us shelter, a 'HOME' that is called,

Never will we forget, never will at all.

29th Jan 2013.

Land of Desert Sand, Sea & Pearls.

2013-06-20T06:53:00.001-07:00

The hardest swallow ever felt,

The most painful ice ever melt,

For all who came into our hearts,

For today is the day, we'll be apart.

The road is tarred, the wheels are fixed,

Emotional engines are all in mixed.

May HE brings light to the path we take,

To shine our journey in whatever we make,

It may be a "goodbye", but not yet a "the end",

Till we meet again, my dear friends...

11.02.2013 : 9:40am

Learn to be Grateful!

2013-06-20T02:19:00.000-07:00

Reflection is what YOU need,

To learn to be kind and stop being mean,

The world is not ours, to pick & point on others.

If life is unkind, start looking for signs,

As Allah gave us enough,

To live life with full of love.

Why being mad, for what others have?

Why being sad, for what You have,

You should be glad.

Alhamdulillah, All praised be to Allah.

To you, stop adding in drama. It's so 2000 and late. Learn to grow up and be the adult you say you are.

"...A closed mind is like a stagnant pool. Scum on op, Slim at the bottom & Stink all over..."

- Shaik Mirza Yawar Baig.

Disbelief.

2013-06-01T02:23:00.000-07:00

Another one written back in November 2007.

Never have I thought,

He would put me in a situation,

Same as how he saw me go through,

Pain and heartache emotions.

He promised not to hurt or make me cry,

And I promised not to leave and to love him till I die,

But things changed,

Just like what you say.

And it's happening,

We're breaking.

Where was those moments of laughters,

Love and fate,

All I can see now is disaster, fights and debates,

No more babydoll,

No more semak,

All I hear now is silent,

full of dark,

Never have I thought you would put me in that same situation.

Hampa.

2013-06-01T02:12:00.001-07:00

Dated : Friday, 02/11/2007. Time : 11:19 pm. Mind you, this was written back then where things was naive. All the words used at that very much emotional moment. So, it didnt make sense. [LOL!]

Terdiam tidak terkata,

Hanya dibasahi dengan air mata,

Mengalir tanpa berhenti,

Inginku endahkan, tapi tidak terjadi.

Ku lalui rintangan untukmu,

Menempuhi segala halangan kernamu,

Tetapi kini ku hanya membisu,

Tertanya-tanya "Mengapa kau buat tak tahu..?"

Apakah salah aku mencintaimu?

Adakah dosa bersama mu?

Adakah doa mereka makbul?

Mengapa senantiasa ada masalah menimbul?

Bukankah kau kata aku segalanya,

Akan kau cari jalan untuk bersama,

Tiada kau nyawa disaat ini,

Untuk mencari penyelesaian rintangan ini.

Terpinga-pinga aku dibuatnya,

Adakah salah aku mencintainya?

Adakah dosa bersamanya?

Mengapa senantiasa ada masalah menimba-nimba?

Setiap malam ku menitis air mata,

Sampai ku tidur tidak lenanya,

Hatiku lemah, patah dan tidak bernyawa,

Adakah ini perkara sebenarnya?

Hancur berani kau buat sedemikian,

Inikah cara kau mengucapkan,

"Terima Kasih.." dengan balas jasa,

Ke atas apa yang aku telah lakukan.

Hampaku tidak ternyata,

Kembalilan ku kepada dunia,

Dunia yang kejam dan tidak terbatas dosanya,

Terjebak lah ku ke dunia yang merana.

Tidak lah ku kenali diriku lagi,

Ketika kau cuba menghilangkan diri,

Kata perpisahan yang kau setuju,

Mengubah segala arah ku menuju.

For my husband.

2013-01-05T10:10:00.000-08:00

May God calm your mind, body and soul, my Habibi. I dedicate this to you.

To You I pray for him,

May he be calm as the river

before it hits the edge,

Where the water falls down hard,

Hitting the solid grey,

Don't let him be lost by the phenomenal mist,

Instead to teach on how to appreciate....

Worry.

2013-01-05T10:06:00.000-08:00

We ponder on You,

On what is given,

The questions arises,

As we see the hidden,

Our foreheads on the ground,

Hopeless yet hoping,

As I speak in silence,

Praying and praying.

The signs are to be found,

but heart is in worry,

So to You i seek,

for help is in need.

Silence of Fear

2012-04-11T22:41:00.004-07:00

I stood still, trying to calm myself,

Telling myself to keep still,

But the on going venomous words kept coming,

Poisoning my bottle of temper of feel.

All those years of keeping in that bottle,

It had finally learned to break,

As the water of anger that once was in,

Turns into flame of fire of burn.

The pressure, the same words, the same thing,

Over and over again,

I finally learn how to fight.

I now learned not to feel fear anymore,

Though I may feel a bit of guilt and ashamed,

But I'm no longer afraid of fear I once used to fear.

I may not know what's going to happen next,

But all I know,

My future has started to change.

What I did was wrong as a daughter,

But I took 29 years of silence of fear,

Though I feel the guilt and ashamed,

But I no longer afraid of fear I once used to fear.

Wife

2012-03-16T08:53:00.004-07:00

Sometimes I wonder,
How to be a wife?
It's a question I ponder,
How is it like having a wife life?

Do a wife need to feel like a girlfriend felt,
when the boyfriend holds her hand?

Do a wife need to feel like a girlfriend,
when she fights with her man?

I question all the time,
On how to be a wife,
I wonder if it's right,
On how to be a wife.

Is a wife suppose to feel like how I feel?
Not knowing what a "wife" is?

I question myself,
Am I doing what a wife does?

Do I laugh like I used to?
Do I cry less?
Do I talk more wife-like?
What is wife-like?
How am I suppose to sound like?

I question myself,
Am I already a wife?

Halangan

2012-03-11T01:24:00.001-08:00

Mengapa adanya halangan diantara kita,
Salahkah cinta yang sedang membara,
Mengapa ada yang tidak suka,
Salahkah dua insan mahu bersama?

Pedihku mendengarinya,
Halangan untuk bersama,
Dosa akan ku lakukan,
Jauh aku mendekati keimanan.

Sampai bila ku boleh berdewasa,
Sekiranya kau masih menghalang,
Perlu kau mula percaya,
Hidupku tidaklah sebarangan.

Ku ingin mulakan hidup baru,
Lepaskan anakmu ini,
Kerna ku lemas sentiasa diburu,
Daru dulu sehingga kini.

Mataku tidak buta melihat,
Hatiku tidak menipu perasaan,
Dialah yang dipanggil sahabat,
Cinta yang ikhlas penuh kegembiraan.

Kesusahan

2012-03-11T01:15:00.003-08:00

Dunia ini dunia sementara,
Kehidupan ini hanya untuk bernyawa,
Jangalah kau mengeluh,
Hadapilah dengan teguh.

Adakalanya harimu sempurna,
Adakalanya ia tak berguna,
Tapi jangan kau mengeluh,
Hadapilah dengan teguh,

Dihari kau runtuh,
Kau berasa resah,
Disaat kau buntu,
Hatiku tidak tenteram,
Risau dan gelisah.

Aku ingin sentiasa disisimu,
Saat dan masa kau buntu,
Ku ingin melaluinya bersama,
Kerna kehidupanmu,
Kehidupan ku bernyawa.

Jangalah sedih wahai Sayangku,
Kerna dihari akhirnya,
Kau akan pulang dengan tertawa,
Kerna kau tahu walau kau susah,
Ku disini mengambil kisah,
Walau kau keadaan sedih,
Tapi kau tahu kau menpunyai kekasih,
Yang ingin hidup bersamamu,
Dengan masalah, walaupun seribu.

Perasaan Ku

2012-03-11T01:10:00.002-08:00

Sayang,
Kadangku tidak bisa memenuhi hasratmu,
Kadangku tidak bisa menyempurnakanmu,
Ku cuba jua walaubagaimanapun,
Kerna ku takut kehilangan cinta.

Kadangku takut sekiranya berakhir,
Hubungan yang indah seketika sahaja,
Kadangku getar memikirkannya,
Kehilangan dirimu yang ku sangat cinta.

Kadangku memikir adakah ini benar?
Akan kita berakhir bersama?
Kerna sejarah tidak ingin ku ulangi,
Kesakitan dihati, mata menitis air lagi.

Pada awalnya kita bermesra,
Tapi adakah kemudiannya bertengkar?
Ku minta Aku dan Kamu berdoa,
Agar kita dapat bersama untuk selamanya.

Mengapa

2012-03-11T01:00:00.005-08:00

Mengapa kata-kata sungguh bisa,
Mengapa lidahku berkata kasar,
Hanya untuk menyakiti Kamu,
Hanya akan membuat Kau lagi buntu?

Mengapa kata-kata tidak indah?
Mengapa harus Aku mengunakanya?
Inginku ambil semula kata itu,
Menghalang dari berkata,
yang membabi buta sahaja.

Maafkan lidah Aku bisa,
Harus Aku diajar agar berkata indah,
Ku menyesal apa yang ku berkata,
Sayangku harap kau lupakan saja.

Ujian Kesabaran

2012-03-11T00:53:00.005-08:00

This was written back in 2005/6. Where it was the hardest year for us. To be in love and be accepted by others.

Adakah ini benar?
Dengan apa yang telah dicipta?
Untuk Kau dan Aku,
Kehidupan kita yang buntu.

Oh, pemikiran Ku beku!
Kerna Ku tidak bisa mencari jawapan,
Menyelesaikan rintangan Kita,
Menenangkan percintaan Kita.

Walau berat penyelesaiannya,
Ku harap Kita tetap bersama,
Kerna halangan adalah adalah penguatan bagi Kita,
Kerna Tuhan Maha Adil dan Maha Berkuasa.

Sayang,
Apa yang diberi,
Kita terima,
Kerna Ku tahu semua ini,
Ujian sementara dariNya.

Exploded

2012-03-05T08:31:00.006-08:00

It feels boiling,
I kept quite.
It keeps pushing,
I exploded.

I ignored, I didn't listen, I walked away,
Didn't stop the thunder,
It keeps coming,
As I go away,
It keeps shooting.

Water's boiling,
Like hot burning lava,
Bottle's filled up,
Everything's pouring.

Regretted the sound of my replies,
The ugly tone of my voice,
Her pointed fingers keep pushing me,
Keep shooting me with question,
The ugly tone of my voice.

Ego rises,
Hatred added,
No feeling apologetic,
Just wishing that it wasn't so dramatic.
Rises fear,
Embarrassment appear,
Could not sleep,
Thinking to deep.

Understood the situation,
Feeling stupid as it was a fault,
For being so stubborn,
Why must I be so troublesome.

Not a clue on how to be a child,
A daughter who tries to be kind,
Don't know why it keeps boiling,
Like hot burning lava,
Bottle's filled up,
Everything's pouring.

---------------------------------------------------------

I'm sorry. I may not be the perfect person you wanted, but you don't need to remind me of it. I realize it and I'm sorry.

No words

2012-03-02T06:26:00.003-08:00

I can't utter any more words to say,
The sound of "stab, stab, stab" is to deep,
At first, my wounds were healing,
But then, it keeps on opening,

Oh Allah,
What is this test your testing,
The power to hold on or the power to keep moving on?

Laying down my forehead every night to seek,
As water sips through the earth,
I weep,
Like the sound of the Weeping Willow,
The pain when I swallow,
The crack that was felt,
From the back of the throat.

Oh Allah,
Let my Do'a be heard,
Let my Do'a be fulfill.

To strong of the test I feel,
To weak whenever it fails,
Lost & lonely regained.

Please, I can't utter anymore words to say.

Cloud 9

2012-02-29T00:10:00.001-08:00

Days when emotional feelings becomes beautiful words that I can express.

I'm on Cloud 9

the thin line seen on your lips,

the molding curves felt on my fingertips,

your carved body i cant resist,

to touch, to taste, to feel,

please, i must insists.

i could feel your heat travels into me,

everytime u lay your body next to mine,

your soft whispers makes me uneasy,

oh darling, I'm always in need,

I'm on cloud 9.

soft silky and sculptured your body is,

so beautiful it falls faultlessly on you,

it moves perfectly when u wake up or when you fall asleep,

just like you body, your heart is mine to keep.

in daze i am of you i can only think,

all i can see is hearts falling with colours of pink,

i am so glad that you are mine,

all i know is I'm on cloud 9.

(i love you so much, Mohd. Iqwan Shah)

(taken from an old blog. Thursday, October 12, 2006, 3:27pm)

Pain

2012-02-29T00:06:00.001-08:00

The tears them fall,
to the words that were called,
feeling low & gloom,
feel the urge to scream,
& if no faith in God,
to kill...