3 Kid$ Here

Just Another Day

2026-06-24T13:11:24.286-04:00

I know divorced parents gripe about each other. I know there are differences that caused the divorce. However, I struggle with unethical decisions that my kids’ father drags them into. Today it’s about working papers.

My My daughter‘s father told her at 15 she doesn’t need working papers. We live in Pennsylvania and I’m pretty sure it’s in most states that you most definitely need working papers. Her dad told her that he called the school and spoke to his accountant and working papers weren’t needed for the job that she wanted. She’s working in some form of warehouse and will be paid $20 an hour so this is a job. This requires working papers.

Why would his father put them in a position where this?

Let Your Imagination Run Wild

2026-06-12T13:40:08.016-04:00

Today is Friday! I have been dealing with a sick dog for several weeks. It started with an infection in her paw and now she's having a reaction to the antibiotic she was on. We are currently on a steroid to calm her GI track. Poor pup! Say some prayers for us. I need to rest and sleep. Cookie needs to heal and be her normal hyper self.

I think a lot on Fridays since it's the end of the work week and going into time to myself and family. I think we should all have big dreams. Dreams that seem outlandish. Dreams that feel impossible. Dreams that seem simple. Dreams that feel possible.

I'm trying really hard to keep my thoughts positive even when unexpected, bad things seem to occur. Everyone deals with it and there are some things when they are bad, we shrug it off and move along. We should try to do that more often. The more positive we are, even in unknown outcomes, the better the outcome. It's a science at this point. When we think the worse, our body feels the stress and uncertainty. When we expect positive from a negative outcome, our bodies are more relaxed and happier. I think this becomes a huge driver of why the outcome improves no matter what.

So, I know that Cookie is suffering right now, but I also know she realizes how much I'm helping her and love her. Her siblings (3 humans and 1 other dog) love her and look out for her. She's going to come through this and we'll all be well rested.

Imagination running wild doesn't have to be something that impresses everyone around you. It just has to be topics or goals that you make for yourself that you can work towards. Today I've decided that I'm going to attack the wallpaper that is throughout my first floor. I've lived in my current house for about 4 years now and it's my 3rd home as an adult. I don't enjoy home projects because they feel overwhelming. However, I've been staring at 90's wallpaper since I moved in and I don't want to do it anymore. I'm imagining the walls painted the colors I want and the appearance I know that this home is capable of.

The good thing with getting started on dreams and imagination, once you start, you start moving towards them. Then the dreams and imagination keep moving and changing because you're accomplishing little things to get you where you want to be. One phrase I've used for many years now, is 'it takes baby steps.' Life is made up of little choices and when you take one baby step, you slowly starting living the life you want.

Go imagine and then take action....I'm looking forward to hearing your comments!

Wobble Wag Giggle Ball

2026-06-08T20:09:19.092-04:00

My dog loves this ball! it's squeaky and big enough for my 120 lb dog to play with. The problem is that it's hard plastic and my dog has a HUGE mouth. He puts his mouth around it and cuts the outside plastic, which then cuts his mouth. It's a great toy though! The noise is unlike any other. The ball can be played with for hours. It just needs a softer outside or cushion so it doesn't tear up my dog's mouth. I must have bought about 10 of these balls over the years. Although it's hard plastic on the outside, just like squeakers, my dog loves to find a way to tear this up and only have the long tubular noise makers left.

Try the toy. I'm going to try to write to the company to see if they can look into different external material. It's my dog's favorite toy ever!!! and he's 9 & still so much energy left in him! The toy is made by this company: wobblewag.com

Amazon Link: https://a.co/d/03O56RYp

Being Comfortable being Uncomfortable

2018-12-29T19:10:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been quite some time since I've written on here. I cannot even begin to explain everything that has happened in the last roughly 6 years since I've written any thoughts out. Let's start with I have gotten a divorce, I live in Ohio, my 3 precious kids live with their Dad in Pennsylvania and I have a new found appreciation for any person that has gone through a divorce. I have found a deeper faith in God and pray more than ever. I have lost my Father-in-Law who I loved dearly but I was honored by doing his eulogy at his funeral. I have been fortunate to travel to Canada, Italy, and various states across the United States. My kids and I have a dog named Jaxon who is about 1.5 years old. He's 103 lbs and the most lovable dog ever but enormous!!!!

Today is December 29, 2018 and the year is coming to an end. I don't want to go into the details of everything that has happened in the last 6 years, but I do want to reflect in the coming week of everything I have accomplished and experienced in the last year. I just got back from PA where I spent a couple days with my siblings & their families, along with my kids. I returned back to Ohio alone with just Jaxon and this is something I continue to try to adjust to. I love my kids dearly and after a 2 year custody battle with their father and spending more money than I even realized I could, I don't get to live with them right now. This has been the hardest struggle of my life to date. I've been through quite a bit and I know I'm a strong woman. However, being told by a court judge that I'm a phenomenal Mom and I'm the reason my kids are so well-adjusted but they aren't allowed to live with me because I crossed state lines has been a decision I take day by day to digest and process. I won't go into too much detail for that either right now because I really want to reflect on my current feelings and the impending New Year that is about to approach.....2019!!!

I never thought I would be living without my children. I never thought I'd be living in Dublin, OH. I never thought I'd get a divorce. From 2016 through 2018, I have been surprised more than any other time in my life. I have always been positive and follow many successful/spiritual leaders to keep me motivated with life, family and career. I had a strong network of these people from the outside and after the last two years, I would say that I still do. However, it has changed and while some of my reliable friends were completely unexpected, I also was blessed and surprised with new people that have come into my life as well.

In 2019 I really hope to find comfort in my life again. I see how strong I am and I will never question my strength again with how bad the storm was in the last 2 years. However, I do believe there was some necessary events that needed to occur and are the reasons I am where I am today. As I come through that storm trying to make sense of some of the unreasonable attacks, the pain and the fear that I would never have imagined, I am hoping to start seeing the person I always wanted to be. I am hoping that I will no longer hide my feelings and fears of what I was embarrassed and ashamed of from childhood that carried on through my marriage. The anger, abuse, shame, and poor communication were the foundation of my childhood and marriage that I never want to enter into my life again. I may see all of these traits again but I am working hard through my faith to react to them in a much different way that I have up until 2016.

So I end 2018 looking at all the different activities my children and I have shared, the memories we've made in both Pennsylvania and Ohio, the bonds that have grown among my siblings and their families, and the hopes and dreams that we plan to continue in the coming years. I have rebuilt some communication among my family members, I have met some amazing new friends in Ohio, and I have leaned on friends that I've always had that I didn't realize were so willing to allow me to lean on them. I am looking at all the grateful blessings that I've witnessed in the last 2 years. I have enduring pain and unexpected hardships, however, that is part of everyone's story. It has been 2 years of coming an awakening that I didn't even realize I was not aware of. I feel like a more honest, sincere and transparent person than I've ever been in my life. I hope to work towards keeping this as authentic and real in my daily life as God will allow me. As many people struggle with weaknesses such as addictions, financial struggles, anger, self-esteem and so many other problems, my biggest struggle will be to continue to be honest, authentic and humble with my own life's struggles and successes.

So this post relates to accepting that sometimes life is about being uncomfortable in your current situation and knowing that it is part of learning how to accept and grow with recent or new decisions that are being made. My last two years are the hardest years of my life to date but I would have said that when I was 12 years old and dealing with life or death because my ulcerative colitis was so severe. Then I would have expressed the pain that I faced when I learned of some family secrets right before going off to Ireland in college and that lead to years of being ashamed of the family I grew up in. It would take me 20 years before I confronted these secrets and how they have impacted my own life decisions. All of these times in my life were uncomfortable, painful and sad. However, I dealt with all those situations because I realized I didn't have a choice and at some point had to put all my trust into God to get me through them. It has taken me 2 years now, but ending 2018 I have realized that I am once again at a point where all my faith, hope and trust must fall to God to pull me through this final stretch of a divorce, move and loss of custody of my kids. God is grace and mercy and will always pull me through as he always has in the past. However, that doesn't always stop the pain or the uncomfortable knowing that I didn't expect this to happen in my life. I have no choice but to face these challenges so that I am able to come out the other end with a new found understanding and hope. However, my new focus is no longer just my own survival but showing my 3 kids how faith really does move mountains and can create miracles in an instant if it's God's will and we trust him completely.

I will write more about what new habits I've created to continue this new awareness and find ways to help those around me in the process. One of the biggest lessons for me has been that through my own struggles and depending on others, I've still be able to help others. Many people have expressed how much they have learned from me or how I've been able to help them. I am very grateful for these struggles if they have allowed me to be more compassionate but also help people who I would not have otherwise been able to reach. It has been a very difficult two years with so many mixed emotions that I could not appropriately summarize them in this post. So I will end this summary here and give myself the opportunity to gather my thoughts for my next post and attempt to go a little deeper into goals, resolutions and reflections in these final days of 2018. Embrace the discomfort and lean into the storm with courage and bravery.

Life Mission - Anticipating Success

2013-02-12T13:16:00.002-05:00

I want to do work that I love. I love to inspire people to get their finances in order and organize their lives in a way that is meaningful for them. I hear this a lot and most people don't follow their dreams but I believe that the mind and willpower are incredible tools that cannot be explained by scientific evidence. The more I hear that I cannot accomplish something is the drive that gives me the notion that I can. I want my life to be inspiring through my actions.

I have 3 amazing children to raise and I know that through example is the best way to show them that they are capable of anything they work for. The good things are worth fighting for and working for and that is the number one value I want my children to learn. Everyday I want to be a part of my life mission which includes only doing things that I truly believe in. That's an amazing passion that I need to fuel behind something.

My biggest unknown is that I don't know exactly what to put my passion behind. I am starting to see the way that I contribute to people around me and the unique skills that I have related to interacting with other people and understanding business needs. I just don't know what it is that I was meant to do with these skills. Part of my life mission is to also be a partner and inspiration to my husband and help in fulfilling his dreams. I know that together we can make his business successful and we will strive to be part of a personal and American dream. I want to utilize all the skills and sacrifices that foreigners who come to America have through self-sacrifice and discipline. I'm a people-watcher and analyze the successes of others. I am still working on exactly how to translate those observances into active lessons for myself. I believe that it's a life-long skill but I also feel myself getting close to what I was meant to be doing.

I need to go and take care of some of my daily responsibilities but everyday I will continue to exceed and fulfill this unknown mission that I was meant to do. I will be pleasantly surprised one day on exactly what that is but when I figure it out, I will be sharing it with the world.

New Money = New You - Old You

2012-05-22T19:21:00.001-04:00

The title of this post was not created by me. This quote came from a very interesting book I finally got my hands on by Rabbi Daniel Lapin called Thou Shall Prosper. I'm only 8% into this book (thanks to Kindle for giving me the percentage) and I'm already excited with the concepts I'm reading. Rabbi Lapin explains how making more money changes a person, which then further allows a person to make more money. The formula explained in the title is a simple math equation that really is a very interesting concept. In order to create more wealth, a person needs to continue to grow and change to match the desired environment and expectations.

It's been a couple months since I've had the opportunity to really sit here & explain all the changes that have been going on in my life. My 3 kids are doing extremely well. My youngest is 18 months old now and just so much fun. All 3 of my kids are thriving in daycare and with family that help us out when we need it. I think I mentioned in my last post how I have gone back into investments with my career and my overall outlook has changed 180 percent. I'm extremely optimistic in ways that I haven't quite been in the past. I'm finding my inner spirit that I've lost slightly over the last 5 years while some of my life choices were affecting my environment in some ways that were out of my control. I realize now that I had an underlying fear deep in my soul that was preventing me from moving forward. I was so afraid that I wouldn't be able to financially support my 3 children, that my professional success would prevent me from being the best parent that I can be, and that if I took on too much responsibility that I wouldn't be able to be successful with work or family. All of this fear proved that my failures were true and that because of this fear, I would not have the success that I dreamed of while I was in school and working so hard towards my future.

It's funny how I came through a dark part of my life with many positive things happening around me and yet I still was so fearful and disappointed with myself. I produced 3 healthy, adorable children with an amazing husband with a love amongst all of us that tells me we will never be broken. In the last 4 years, my career path has been uncertain but as my father-in-law pointed out to me recently, I've always managed to find work even in a difficult economy where unemployment is so high. My kids adore each other and both their parents and are doing excellent in a school/daycare environment. Yet, with all this positive activity in my life, I was so fearful that our financial situation would get away from us and we would end up in a situation where our bills could not be paid because our family was changing/growing, that I allowed the fear of losing control to be the focus of my decision making process. This fear is the reason that I've been unable to see the many successes we've accomplished over the last couple years.

But I was able to slowly change my focus and with the help and guidance of reading many motivational, financial and inspirational advice resources, I've been able to change my focus from fear to possibility. I've always believed in hard work creates future opportunities and I'm not one to shy away from work. However, in having 3 kids, I somehow convinced myself that I would not be a good parent if I still pursued my career and all the work experience I've gained over the last 10 years. In my head, a successful career became associated with selfishness and immoral behavior, especially when I had small children who relied on me for educational guidance. Mostly, because I listened to the 'negative noise' of other people and parents who gave me this bad advice. I was raised by a mother who stayed home to raise her 8 children and didn't dare to work outside the home. However, I pushed for my education and my parents encouraged it to have a better future. I couldn't see what that future entailed because I didn't have any role models to show me that working and having a family could be a successful pairing.

I know that the parents who suggested working full time while raising small children did not have bad intentions when they offered this advice. However, each person is wired differently and what one person's capabilities are is different from the next person's. I have a few friends who work and raise children and have the support of family but this isn't the norm. Most working parents talk about the sacrifices that are made and special events that are missed in their child(ren)'s life if working is part of the equation.

What I have learned for myself is that I work better when I have number of responsibilities going on at one time. I naturally push myself to excel and when I'm not pursuing my own dreams, then I'm not being the best role model for my children. If I enjoy working and pursuing a career but give this all up because I believe that's impossible to achieve when I have children, then my children will grow to have the same belief. That's not values I want my children to have. I truly value mothers/fathers who choose to stay home with their kids and are able to give them the educational value and fulfillment that is possible. However, for myself, I realized that my kids gained more value in a daycare setting where they interacted with their peers and could begin a classroom structure of lessons then anything I could put together on my own. My sister and a few of my friends are able to gather free or inexpensive pre-school materials and structure their children to have a routine on a daily basis. However, I struggled with maintaining the house chores, meals, educational lessons and frankly, it was all areas that I feel someone else could do a better job at. I love to teach people new things and I thought I would love being home with my kids to teach the basics things. I still love being a part of this process and when I'm home on the weekends, I do. However, I realized that a part of my intellectual side was utterly BORED! I needed more stimulation for myself. I love the interaction with my kids, but I also found myself making things more complex with the house, my kids' schedules or even my husband's business that I worked on the financials for, just to keep my own interest peaked.

I'm not writing any of this to say one way is right or wrong. What I learned through my own process is there is NO RIGHT WAY! I learned that the guilt I put on myself about any of the above situations is what caused me to see anything in a negative light. I realized that if I continue to follow my own dreams, no matter what age I am & what other life changes come my way, that is part of the best parenting I can provide to my children. Of course, I also believe that part of those dreams involves my children's own success and support so I will always make their needs a priority and my goals will compliment the responsibilities I feel I can provide as a parent to helping my kids find their own path to success.

Overall, I've realized that as many other leaders have stated in the past, we are only as successful as we allow ourselves to be. Once we allow ourselves the possibility to be successful in ways unimaginable, then the limits we've placed on ourselves are removed and more success comes our way. In life, everything is a cycle and karma is realized. Good produces good because that is what we focus on, just as bad becomes more bad because that is what the focus is on. Success is driven when we believe that success is the only solution.

I can't wait to get through the rest of the book, Thou Shall Prosper. I actually stopped reading the book, so I could write this blog because I wanted to share my excitement and I know that I've pushed this aside for a little while. I hope everyone find my blogs as inspiring as I feel. I know I will do great things in this world because I've always believed in the spirit of possibility.

A New Beginning - AGAIN!

2012-03-29T16:53:00.001-04:00

Well, my last post seemed to focus on 'relationships' and that's what I've done. I'm happy to say that vision boards, motivational books, and building confidence is a guarantee that change will come in your life. I've made many mental strides in the last few months. I still have a goal of lowering my debt and working on getting out of the mountain of debt that I've created over the last couple years. However, rather then focusing solely on that and allowing it to bring me down and feel like I'll never get past that hurdle, I've realized that positive thoughts go a long, long way.

I'm saying goodbye to my current job in accounting and getting back into investments where I can interact with clients and use all the past experience I've accummulated. It's a great feeling to know that I've accomplished this on my own. I'm scared about the change and the move to something bigger, but in listening to Anthony Robbins, specifically, I've realized that I need to be out of my comfort zone to grow. I will do great things and I want to reflect that down to my children so they can see that they are capable of so much in life as well.

I'm going back into institutional investments where I'll work on the compliance end of things. I know people in the industry which definitely helped with my reputation. However, I also took a very confident approach this time. It took a lot of internal analysis to realize that I have worth in the industry I've worked in for over 7 years. I'm a very honest, reliable worker and I've been selling myself short the last couple years since I've gotten laid off while I was pregnant.

I don't have many role models in my family that I can turn to and look up to who were successful career women and can guide me in the right direction. I've played on the guilt of being away from my kids while I worked full time. I've tried staying home with my kids and convincing myself that will be the best situation for my kids and myself. However, I don't really believe that it is. I'm in a situation where I can afford to work and expose my kids to an environment where they can learn from their peers, as well as get great education from teachers who studied to facilitate learning amongst this age group. When I was home with my kids, they were bored and so was I. The time and energy it took to try to keep them entertained and try to get all the various house chores done was overwhelming but also added little excitement for me.

I'm very blessed that I have the education and experience to work in a field that I love and allow my children to partake in a school atmosphere with other kids. My youngest is 1.5 yrs old now so she is getting to the point where school is better for her then to not have her there. I'm also very fortunate that my in-laws have taken time to watch her a few days a week to ease the cost to my wallet. I don't think for one second that my kids will regret that they didn't spend enough time with me because the time I spend with them now is quality and so precious. I enjoy the moments now as much as they do and it's not forced enjoyment.

So, hopefully, this post inspires other moms to really understand what you want in life and explore all your options. There's no reason to settle for something when you can allow the possibilities to open in front of you if you're willing to see them. I don't know what the answer is for each of you because I don't think that we all have the same answer. I'm very proud of moms who want to stay home with their kids and find that fulfilling. It's definitely a hard job and I know there's very little individual time. However, women who want to work are heroes too because they are taking on the challenge of all the child responsibilities in addition to professional responsibilities as well. We are amazing people when we put our minds and determination towards goals. Thanks for reading and I look forward to giving you more updates over time!

Build Relationships

2012-02-06T09:36:00.004-05:00

I've been very lucky to have very strong relationships in my life. I have friends that I've known for over 20 years and that's important to help keep me grounded. I love new things and I love to meet new people. However, sometimes the existing friends are the ones that remind you where you came from, the stuggles you've had and the obstacles that you've overcome. New friends are great and it's important to continue to grow outside your comfort zone as well.

How does all of this tie into my financial perspective? For me, everything is viewed as an expense of some sort or level of accomplishment. Money doesn't mean much to me other how much I have represents how well I've done thus far in my life. That being said, then it's obvious I've hit a couple bumps. But I need to remember that everyone hits bumps and the most successful people have said they are successful because they didn't give up. That means, no matter how bad things got, they kept pursuing their goals. Seems pretty crazy when you're caught up in the middle of a rough spot.

But I've heard on a few occassions successful people say that you become more successful when you surround yourself with the kind of people you want to be like. I really believe this. Obviously, it's a very simple concept we learn even in grade school. My mom always said you don't hang out with girls that have a bad reputation unless you want one yourself. Because your reputation and who you hang out with is the type of message that is sent to others.

I want to be successful, more then have all the money. I truly want to feel like I'm achieving the goals I put in place and accomplishing positive outcomes. So, one way to do this is to be around successful people because they motivate one another but also share networks of successful people. But it's more then just being around these types of people. It's also about building a relationship with these people where there is trust and confidence. The stronger the relationships, the more help offered when you are stuggling. It's also very important that it's reciprocated. If others are going to go out on a limb for you, you better be willing to do the same for others. It doesn't have to be the same people necessary either. It's the 'pay it forward' concept because the more you're willing to do for others, the more you see in return. Many people learn this in their faith as well.

So another goal for me is to build better, longer relationships in 2012. I hope you appreciate my post and leave me feedback. Until we chat again!

Bite My Tongue - LISTEN!

2012-02-01T10:12:00.002-05:00

"Bite my tongue." That is today's objective. I was a very good listener when I was a child and early adult. Sometimes I realize now that I wasn't as good of a listener as I was as a child. As I grow older, I feel like I finally have life experience so I want to share it with others. However, sometimes I regret after I've spoken what I've just said or shared. That means that I've talked too much and not listened enough.

Listening to others gives a world of information that I wouldn't get otherwise. I realize when I listen, that I actually hear things from others that would never be expressed if I had given my opinion on something first. I'm still reading through Dave Ramsey's EntreLeadership book and he reminded me that even in sales, it's important to listen and not talk too much!

I'm having a hard time with my current job because I'm not getting enough work or opportunity to grow that I need. Therefore, it's very difficult to get through the day when I'm scrambling to find work or doing very mundane work. So, my goal is to listen. Stop complaining about what I'm not doing or want to be doing. I need to listen to those around me and be open to other opportunities. I'm not one to sit idle and let the world pass me by. Therefore, while my job is very slow, I'm considering looking into taking CPA courses at a local college. So, if I do this, then it's worth working at a stress-free job that doesn't fill up all my time.

Also, sitting around and complaining about your job doesn't get you a promotion or network to your next great position. However, listening to management and biting my tongue about things I may have overheard or been told by others will at the very least show I am a respectful, obedient employee. "Obedient" may not be the ideal word that people want to hear related to their position. However, sometimes the work environment and structure have not caught up to the current century where ideas should be shared by all. Some work environments are still very hierarchical and do not agree with subordinates speaking out of turn. Therefore, it is better to appear as an 'obedient' employee until a better company comes along or the existing work environment has management changes.

I also love to listen to my kids. This is one area that I soak in and becomes so easy to do. We all tend to get caught up in the day-to-day schedules, timelines, errands, etc., especially if both parents are working or you are a single parent. However, I find the most enjoyment after being stressed comes from talking to my kids and hearing what troubles they are having. It really puts things into perspective. Hearing them talk about their lives and their perception of life are so rewarding and makes me see the real importance in everything. Of course, my kids are only 4, 2 & 1 so the simplicity of their problems is what is so enjoyable. I'm not sure I will feel the same way when they are teenagers or young adults. However, by the time that happens, I hope I've at least passed on some of the skills I've learned along the way to help them cope with their lifestyles.

Until next time! Thanks for stopping in. Please share this blog with friends!

Blessings!

2012-01-23T09:43:00.001-05:00

I'm going through a rough patch financially right now and it's difficult to swallow and deal with sometimes. But the last few weeks are full of reminders to me that I am still very blessed and should be grateful for these many blessings. I have 3 healthy children who couldn't be happier and except for some minor ear infections or viruses, we've avoided any serious illnesses to date.

So, in honor of Oprah's Daily List of 5 things I'm grateful for:

We recently got basketball tickets from our accountant and my husband & boys are going to the game tonight. An opportunity that we can not afford ourselves right now.
I was recently able to purchase 10 pieces of clothing after spending $70 because I had gift cards and discounts
I have health insurance and coverage if any major incidents fall upon us.
My kids have about 20 cousins that all live in the area to play with when their friends aren't around.
We live in a great neighborhood that has one of the best school districts in the state.
My kids are so affectionate that I often get surprised adults admiring how loving they are to each other and me.
I have my health and education that I've been very fortunate to be exposed to.
I have travelled outside of the US which not many Americans have done.
I have ulcerative colitis and it rarely flares up. When it does flare it, it is quickly under control with a little medication. Many people with ulcerative colitis have symptoms even in remission
My husband and I sometimes quarrel and we don't always see eye to eye, but we are committed to each other and our family. We believe in a family unit that involves 2 parents and unconditional love.

Share with me some of your blessings. It's nice to remind each other that through tough times, there is always a silver lining and even if we can't see it now, we need others to remind us! God Bless and I look forward to hearing from you.

Marketing

2012-01-18T16:26:00.001-05:00

The kids are well and I love being a mom. Another day to look at expenses and focus on saving $$. I need to find ways to be creative in saving & making money. I bought diapers online today for $0.23/diaper which is up $0.03/diaper from my last purchases. It doesn't seem like much but for 1 box of 120 diapers, that's $3.60 difference which could get me a meal (not out but a home-cooked one!).

I started listening to Dave Ramsey again and all my self-help reading. I feel like at least I'm trying to continue to educate myself and learn of different methods that work. I got a few new books from the Overdrive.com site at my local library but I'm having a terrible time trying to access them & actually listen to them right now. I'm not sure why I'm having this trouble but it's driving me crazy! It has something to do with the file being a MWA file instead of a typical MP3 file. I will figure it out eventually but I want to listen to this book that Seth Godin wrote called "Meatball Sundae". I liked his book "Linchpin" although I didn't get through the whole thing before it expired and I like Godin's blog. So the name of this book intrigues me.
....

I was able to figure out what was wrong with my file. I forgot to download the application from Overdrive on my PC so I could transfer the file over to my iPhone. Yay, listening to Seth Godin as I'm writing this blog. Marketing was never my strong point and I am a horrible seller. I feel like I say too much about the wrong things and don't know how to filter the proper conversation for the topic. But I'm determined to work on my marketing skills because I know that is holding me back somewhat with my own personal growth. I recall one of the worst statements I've made to someone who was a friend/past co-worker was that "I can't sell myself well". This was particularly bad timing because I had met this person for lunch for potential job opportunities. The truth is that I can sell myself and my strengths but only when I'm not really 'trying' to prove anything. If I get into a general conversation on a topic I've worked with or have been involved with, then I'm extremely comfortable at describing how I can add value. When I think that I'm in a situation that is critical to what I say and how I say it because I think that my current interaction will affect a career opportunity (job interview or business function). It's the same fear that comes along with public speaking because there's some discomfort with the idea of speaking where people will judge you specifically on the words that next come out of your mouth. Something I am aware I've always struggled with, but I'm determined to eventually overcome it, even if I'm in my 70's or 80's.

Until next time. Thanks for Reading & sharing my thoughts!

Facing the Truth

2012-01-16T14:15:00.001-05:00

My posts have become somewhat sporatic because I'm trying to focus on paying off my debt and finding alternative ways of additional income. However, it still feels overwhelming and I still sometimes want to forget that I have all this debt looming over my head. A couple weekends ago, I was really upset because some family members asked if I wanted to bring my kids to the local aquarium. I would have loved to go but it would have cost about $100 by the time I paid for the all the entrance fees, parking, tolls and gas that involved this day-trip. I told the family members no, but looked online to see if there was some way I could find coupons or discounts that would allow me to bring my kids. I didn't have any luck.

However, I know that I'm responsibly making the right decision because my kids didn't know about it so they weren't upset about going. I just felt a lot of guilt about not being able to bring them so they could spend the time with family. It was very upsetting to me and still is a little bit. I know that as a parent, this is one of many tough decisions I will need to make. I guess it feels more upsetting because another family member who went is in a much worse financial situation then me and she seems to make every family function no matter what the cost or how often it occurs. I don't want to compare my situation to someone else's but it's hitting me in the face that either this family member has someone else pay for their family constantly or uses money that should otherwise be going towards bills.

So, I'm writing this post because I want to put myself back on track & do the right thing no matter how hard the decisions actually are. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and that hard work always pays off, but it's never the easy road. Right now I don't see what the outcome will be, but there will be a time when I look back in my past, and see that there was a greater goal than I could imagine for myself. I believe that the energy that is put into the world is the same energy that is received back from the world. Therefore, I'm going to put my best foot forward and work my hardest even when I don't think I have anything left to put out. Eventually, all the fruits of my labor will be revealed. I hope you agree with me. Feel free to post your opinions or suggestions. Thanks for reading!

My Next 30 Years

2012-01-11T11:30:00.003-05:00

This post is going to be dedicated to Tim McGraw & Phil Vasser who wrote the amazing song, "My Next 30 Years":

I think I'll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it's time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years

Hey my next thirty years I'm gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I've done
Maybe now I've conquered all my adolescent fears
And I'll do it better in my next thirty years

My next thirty years I'm gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I'm doing here
In my next thirty years

Oh my next thirty years, I'm gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late
Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers
Maybe I'll remember my next thirty years

My next thirty years will be the best years of my life
Raise a little family and hang out with my wife
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear
Make up for lost time here, in my next thirty years
In my next thirty years

One song can have so much meaning! I hope I do it better in my next thirty years! Finance, relationships, planning, fun, priorities, charity, helping, raising awareness....

Happy 2012

2012-01-03T11:54:00.000-05:00

What a holiday and new year it has been! My kids made out very well with so many gifts. I had some great time off and relaxation that was much needed! I really love being home with my kids and I do plan on making a bigger commitment to working towards a more flexible schedule this year. Here's to putting ideas into reality!

I did very well with Christmas shopping and staying within a budget for the most part. I did spend a couple hundred dollars on credit cards, but when you are shopping for almost 40 people, that's pretty impressive it was only that much. It wasn't a complete success to avoid credit cards, but given my history with Christmas shopping and charging now, and worrying about it later, it was a significant improvement. Also, I started out in December having no idea how I was going to manage to buy any presents, let alone avoid charging on credit cards. I definitely believe in God during times like this, because it's only through faith in him that somehow everything works out. I do want to be realistic on my goals and intensions to reduce & eliminate debt. However, I also don't want to beat myself up so bad that I feel like my goal is completely unattainable because I'm thinking so extreme. So, although some finance gurus might not agree with me, I feel my Christmas was a huge success with more room for improvement next year.

I'm back on the track of focusing on improving my quality of life all around, not just financially. I have a great life, one I wouldn't trade for anything. Three healthy, happy and delightful children and a husband who has stuck by with for all the tough times. However, I also believe that people need to constantly evolve to continue to be happy and successful. I love surrounding myself with other people who live their lives this way or support such an idea. I definitely have improvements I can make in my life and fully intend to do that so I can feel I'm being as useful as others as others have been to me.

I took a break from this blog for the last month while I managed all the other many crazy holiday festivities. I baked cookies and pies with the kids. We went to see Santa Claus. We spent time with extended family and friends. It was a very busy holiday season, but it is time to get back to our normal routine. It was a really nice month.

This year, my focus is:

Improving my relationship with my husband
Focusing on my kids' milestones
Making Goals a priority based on my dreams, not my limitations
Keeping positive energy around me
Working on my debt elimination goals
Helping my husband make his business successful
Creating work that brings income with necessary flexibility
Planning a trip to Italy
Future planning of family vacations
Offering as much help to others as I possibly can

I don't make specific resolutions. Yes, you could argue that the above are 'resolutions' for the new year, but I believe it's the way I envision living my life every day, whether it's a new year or not. I think the last couple years, there has been so much change and diversity in my life that I was scared and fearful of things that were out of my control. I lost my job in my experienced field, had 2 additional children that I wasn't financially prepared for, and have like so many Americans, stressed over paying for medical costs that just seem to be growing faster then most of our salaries. Therefore, I struggled on where to put my focus because I chose to ignore those huge situations that scared me to death. Over the last couple months since I've started this blog and really decided to focus on my life, I really had an 'awakening' of what I want out of life and where I want it to go. I may not be able to control everything that happens to me and my family with any degree of certainty, but if things are going to happen, then I need to be an active participant on how I react to those situations. I've listened to many successful people and motivational speakers over this period of time to realize that I must visualize my success in order to achieve it. And through all this, I've been reminded that I can achieve any of the success that I pursue. I truly believe this and I wholehearted want my children to believe this. There are many, many hurdles that each of us will face that will completely take us by surprise but we need to be reminded by those positive people around us that we must not lose focus or we lose ourselves.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! May this year bring you as much happiness and success as you allow yourself to recieve!

Ethics and Stock Trading

2011-12-12T11:25:00.001-05:00

Anyone with a background in finance knows about insider trading and the fact that it's illegal. Most Americans have at least heard the phrase and know it's not legal but may not fully understand what it is. Wikipedia defines insider trading as: The illegal practice of trading on the stock exchange to one's own advantage through having access to confidential information. Therefore, in theory, no one who is exposed to insider information of publicly traded stock is to act on that information until it is made public to all to take advantage of. This is theory, because it's so difficult to clearly define the lines of where this starts and stops and how to enforce whether an individual is trading on public/private information. It comes down to ethics/morals and the type of person each of us are.

Most Americans can never do insider trading because they don't have access to the type of information needed to allow it to happen. However, we've all seen movies like Wallstreet that make this the plot and seems like a high profile activity amongst the elite. However, although all movies glorify scenerios and create plots with few people affected, insider trading affects a much larger community than corporate and finance professionals. On initial glance, I never thought of Congress being so highly influential on insider trading and acting upon it. However, a recent friend of mine mentioned a news segment that explained the opportunities to politicians, as well as many 'coincidental' trading activities. See the full 60 Minutes segment and report
Congress Insider Trading.

'as a politician, if you are questioning

how your investments are affected

instead of how the bill will affect

the country & Americans, then your motives are

wrong and you have the wrong intensions'.

After reading about it, on the 60 Minutes website, they had a follow-up article that described how the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) Rules may actually prevent this under Rule 10b-5 (see full article Congress is covered under Rule 10b-5). Rule 10b-5 helps define the types of trades a person can do based on the type of information known at the time. The full rule can be seen at Rule 10b-5.

Again, to most people, these rules and language seems foreign. However, to us financial professionals who have worked with these rules and understand the importance with compliance of them, they shift thinking to a broader level of 'exposure' and responsibility to anyone who is exposed to insider information on publicly traded companies. Should Congress be held to the same standards as any investment professional? - absolutely! Unfortunately, there are investment professionals getting charged with crimes often related to insider trading and there is no reason why any other individual should not be held to the same standards.

All corporate officers are forced to comply with these regulations and are well aware of them as well because they are adviced by their legal councel and financial professionals. It's a no-brainer to those of us in the industry. Anyone who has taken any type of security licensing knows that these regulations are drilled into our heads and these rules cannot be overlooked because of the amount of material we are tested on while pursuing our licenses. Therefore, it's with little question and sympathy for those that are charged with such crimes that they weren't aware of these regulations.

What's fair is fair and all people should be held to the same standards. Sometimes those levels of 'standards' are blurred, but as one of the former congressmen stated in the 60 minutes segment, 'as a politician, if you are questioning how your investments are affected instead of how the bill will affect the country & Americans, then your motives are wrong and you have the wrong intensions'.

If the Duggars can do it, so can I!

2011-12-02T12:49:00.001-05:00

Today, I found a blogger and person on Twitter named Josh Hood (twitter: @JoshuaMHood).  I browsed through his tweets and he makes some pretty inspirational quotes. One example: "Less than 12% of what you're communicating has to do with the actual words you're saying. Pastors: master non-verbal communication!"
I'm no pastor, but this information is important for every human being. Communication is often linked to verbal only and this is a nice reminder that so many things we say, don't say or physical actions indicate our feelings. When people roll their eyes at someone else's comment, that speaks so much louder then any verbal words. So, I kept reading down Josh's tweet page and decided to go to his blog. I found the following post: The Duggar Family’s 21 House Guidelines . After reading this article, which lists the 'house guidelines' that the Duggars follow and have listed on their refrigerator, I felt inspired to make them the focus of today's post.

Many people I know are very judgmental about the Duggar Family and most Americans know who they are. Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have a reality show with their 19 - soon to be 20 children. Since they started their show, they have become the highest-rated show ever on the Discovery Channel. I try to be very objective when I hear new and unusual things. I guess 20 kids isn't too strange for me since I come from 1 of 8 kids and I've known many people over the years that came from large families of up to 13 kids. 20 kids is higher all the families I've known. All that being said, I thought the Duggars situation was peculiar and never pushed too much into their story until I heard more and more judgmental comments about the family. After doing some research (which involved reading some online material, watching a couple interviews, and viewing their show a half dozen times myself), I've realized that this family is probably more stable than most Americans I know.

I'm currently trying to work on some anger-management that has built up over the years. When I get frustrated, I am quick to yell or call people names. This especially comes out when I'm not agreeing with my husband. I know so many people can relate to this, but I logically know that it's not the best behavior and needs to change. It's a habit and cycle that I'm working on fixing. So some advice given to me recently was to "never yell, the softer the voice, the more the situation is diffused". Well, the first rule on the Duggars' guidelines: "1.  Always use soft words, even when you don’t feel well." That first rule already hits home so I had to go through them all. Here they are:

Duggar House Guidelines:
1.     Always use soft words, even when you don’t feel well.
2.     Always display kind actions and joyful attitudes, even if you have been mistreated. Have the right response by quickly forgiving others in your heart even before they ask.
3.     Always be enthusiastic and look for opportunities to praise others’ character.
4.     Always deflect praise and be grateful to God and others for the ways they have benefited your life.
5.     Always use manners and be respectful of others and their belongings.
6.     Always do what is right, even when others may not, or when no one is looking.
7.     Thank God for how He made you, for what He has given you and everything He allows you to go through. (Romans 8:28)
8.     Don’t mock or put others down. Develop compassion and pray for others.
9.     Never argue, complain, or blame. Quickly admit when you have done wrong and ask for forgiveness (even if you were only 10% at fault). Don’t wait till you’re caught. Be sure your sins will find you out. He who covers his sin will not prosper, but he that confesses and forsakes it shall find mercy.
10.  Have a tough accountability/prayer partner to daily share your heart with and to keep you in line (your parents, spouse). The power of sin is in secrecy.
11.  Be attentive and look for ways to serve others with sincere motives and no thought of self-gain.
12.  Think pure thoughts (Philippians 4:8, Romans 13:14).
13.  Always give a good report of others. Don’t gossip! Never tale-bear unless physical harm will come to someone. (Use Matthew 18.)
14. Never raise a hand to hit.
15.  Never raise a foot to kick.
16.  Never raise an object to throw.
17.  Never raise a voice to yell.
18.  Never raise an eye to scowl.
19.  Use one toy/activity at a time. Share!
20.  Do your best to keep your surroundings neat, clean and organized.
21.  Never let the sun go down on your wrath. (Don’t go to bed angry or guilty)
22.  Amendment J.O.Y. – Put Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last.

The Duggars are 100% debt-free and don't rely on any government program or community outreach to support their growing family. They went through a Financial Freedom Seminar through Jim Sammons (see Embassy Institute). This family has managed to create a system to support themselves and create chores and tasks within the family to make it function with a great deal of success. Of course, when generousity is offered, it's not turned down - most of us wouldn't so the size of the family is irrelevant. However, just that is a feat in itself. How many people can you name that are constantly relying on family, friends, strangers or government to maintain their life and get assistance? I know many people that are struggling with their current situation and they may only be supporting 1 or 2 kids. I'm not trying to put down those that need help because we all need help at points in our life. However, so many people are upset, literally upset, with the Duggar family because those that are upset only know that the Duggar family have so many children. These people don't know their background or current situation and when I've heard these comments, the person making it has no details beyond the number of kids that are in the family.  They just make assumptions based on the size of the family and think that America is supporting them through our taxes.

The truth is, the Duggar family is probably more productive in society than a good portion of Americans. If people were as successful in business as this family is with each other, it would be a very well-run company. I just want to remind people that you need to fully understand a situation before you make judgment - or better yet, save the judgment for a higher power and worry about your own situation. This family is the least of America's troubles and if anything, they offer great insight to how we can improve our own situations. If they can have be free of debt, I certainly can figure it out with my husband and 3 kids!

I've wanted to defend the Duggars for quite some time because I've heard so much negative things about this family when I believe just the opposite of them. They are great role models and although I don't consider myself on the extreme end of religion and therefore don't have the same belief system as the Duggars, I can still respect this family for the good they have done and continue to do. Obviously, their belief system is working for them so there's more I could learn from them. To read more about this family go to The Duggar Family

Strength in Numbers

2011-12-01T10:15:00.001-05:00

I'm so happy to find this community on Twitter of other people (not all Americans!) who are working on this debt-free lifestyle. Everyone wants to feel like part of a crowd or feel like they fit-in but I tend to stay away from 'clicky' crowds. I don't like to feel like I'm excluding people or that I have to meet certain standards in order to be accepted. However, the good thing about the Twitter 'debt-free club' (as I've just coined the phrase), is that everyone can join it and we are all at different stages within it. However, we are a good club to join because we encourage each other & help one another with ideas, suggestions, etc. that doesn't exclude a single person.

I read a great article today that made me feel good because I have many of these 'awkward' moments now, as well as several times in the past. I read an article on @enemyofdebt written by Travis Pizel (@debtchronicles) in which he describes his past Thankgiving and how he had to explain to friends about staying within their budget. [see full article Uncomfortable Conversation] Well, I love the honesty of Brad. It's very hard to stick to your guns, especially when you have friends from out of town or an unexpected party, anniversary or special celebration comes up. I have many friends and family that live across the country or even a couple hours away from me that are always asking for my family to come visit and take a trip. I would love to. The most important thing to me is family and friends. I have some great places to visit when I finally become debt-free - Alaska, Hawaii, Washington State and Italy just to name a few. However, until I get my budget in better condition or have a better plan for saving up for such trips, these friends & family are left to conversations over Skype or phone.

So, thank you to the community of people that are working for the same goals of being debt-free, staying debt-free and helping others to be debt-free. I read messages every day that continue to motivate and inspire me. If it weren't for these 'strangers' who are part of this OPEN 'club' then I would be continuing to hide in silence and keep my thoughts private because I didn't think that other people really cared about feeling the satisfaction of financial freedom.

Debt Snowflake Versus Debt Snowball

2011-11-30T13:19:00.001-05:00

VERSUS

I love this time of year where the Christmas music is playing on almost every station and my kids start getting excited about Santa Claus and the story of baby Jesus. So, I'm trying to stay positive about my recent slip-up on using my credit card. Everyone does it from time to time where they stray from their goals, but the point is not to let it happen too often.

I'm listening to my Dave Ramsey radio program again after being distracted since Thanksgiving and I'm trying to keep my focus. I have all my pictures on my cubicle at work of places I've been and my next place to go to - ITALY (part of my vision board-reminds me of goals - thanks @SpeakMichelle!). I recently read a blog from @TheFamilyCEO about using 'debt snowflakes' with extra money vs. Dave Ramsey's idea of growing the 'debt-snowball'. The idea is that the extra small dollars that are gathered here and there from birthdays, refunds, selling used items, etc. are put towards the debt in your life, in addition to the savings of your regular income. I like the idea of the 'snowflakes' because it gives a better visual of how a little money here & there can add up over time to make a big difference. Check out the website for @TheFamilyCEO to get the full article and example that she shows her own 'snowflakes'. When I think of the 'debt snowball', it still represents a good visual but it makes you think that you need to build big quickly to make significant progress. When I think of the debt snowball, I envision that my current situation may seem too overwhelming to accumulate huge heaps of money in order to offset my debt. While the concept is true, because every snowball starts out as just a few snowflakes compressed together, it's still overwhelming to think of this happening at the beginning stages of being debt-free. I'm in my first stage of trying to save for my emergency fund of $1,000 (and if you've read my other blogs, you see I've recently had a lttle set-back) so the 'snowflakes' concept is better suited for my place in life right now.

I didn't do enough research to know if the @TheFamilyCEO got her concept from Dave Ramsey, so I'm sure to mention both so there's no confusion. But part of this debt-elimination process is taking the baby steps needed to move forward without the frustration of having a set-back. There will always be set-backs in life so I shouldn't feel discouraged but expect them along the way.

Tonight, I'm off to help a friend with her bookkeeping so I will be making a few extra bucks again to put towards my emergency fund. I may need to put this money towards my current month's bills, because daycare is going to cost me an extra week in December so that will throw off my budget a little. I'm sometimes very frustrated that we are in this situation where money is so tight right now, but I remember the following:

Life will not always be this way. It has to eventually change, which will create additional changes for my financial situation
Saving now and figuring out the financial budget will allow me to work towards my goals of international travel later.
My kids will benefit in the future if I suck it up now and push my way through these hurdles.
I need to remember that hard work is just as important as saving the money I make because hard work allows us to reach goals and gives us additional opportunities along the way.
Visualizing your goals, as Tony Robbins suggests, is just as important as the little physical steps of improvement along the way!

Thanks again for following (also follow me on Twitter @3kidshere and I love to hear feedback. Thanks to @thejennypincher who gave me some inspirational words this past week and also led me to a new website that I found very interesting: @financialmentor

Fell Off the Wagon!

2011-11-28T15:12:00.001-05:00

Well, it was a rough weekend for a few different reasons. 2 of my 3 kids got sick on Thanksgiving. We still managed to spend it with family but it lead into a weekend full of sleepless nights and coughing, doctor's appts, and prescriptions. This blew my budget on a couple different levels. I had managed to save $350 to this point by doing some side work for a friend. Well, I agreed with my husband to spend some of it on continuing swim lessons for my 2 sons. This ended up being $90. This left me with $260.

On Black Friday, my husband & I agreed to get my middle son a bike for Christmas. Well, sometimes my in-laws will offer to make these larger purchases which I gladly accept to try to keep our own expenses down. However, after talking to my husband, he said he didn't want to ask and they had not offered. Well, luckily, black friday brought a sale of $35 for a bike that was perfect for my son. So I went out Black Friday & spent money on that as well as a few other purchases:

Food storage containers ($6.88 x 2 plus tax)
Cars 2 Movie ($13.99)
Bambi ($10)
Race track for bathtub ($10)
2 snuggies (2 for $10)
2 transformers ($14.99)
Mickey singing Christmas Doll (19.99)
Minnie Singing Christmas Doll (19.99)
Barbie Head (12.99)
iPod speakers ($5)
lunch & small gift for friend ($25)

There might be a few other things that I'm missing but as you can see, I didn't spend a lot. However, it adds up to be more then the budget I had. I know this isn't a lot to some people, but keep in mind I bought the beads for jewelry last week which also cost me $160 for all the materials. I need to get at least 15 necklaces out of that, but I'm hoping for a few more than that. With the $260 left after taking out the money for swim lessons, I'm down to roughly $20 after taxes & miscellaneous items.

This was not the way it was planned in my head. On top of this, I spent all this money before I ended up taking my kids to the doctor's on Saturday for their coughs & fevers, which ended up being $100 between the doctor visit & prescriptions. This money was put on credit card! I'm very disappointed in myself that I didn't avoid the credit card. However, the doctor visit was necessary & I had already spent my spare cash.

To top off my weekend, last night while paying bills & reconciling my bank a/c, I realized that I missed my car payment last month, making it DOUBLE this month. This blows my budget for this month & I have to spend the next couple days figuring out how to bring it all back in line! I'm not going to let all of this deter me. I know that I sort of 'fell off the wagon' this weekend, but I'm going to get back on & make this work.

Looking at my big expenses above, it might be on the Christmas Dolls that cost me over $40 after taxes. That's a big chunk of money that could be used in other areas. I'll keep you posted on my next steps!

XMAS Ideas for Kids That Will Save $$$$

2011-11-23T13:14:00.001-05:00

Who doesn't love jewelry? I know I personally love it but hate to spend a lot of money on it, especially when I'm working my way out of debt. However, with a little more time and effort, jewelry can be a GREAT gift for friends, family & children.
I was talking to my co-worker yesterday about the upcoming holidays. She needed to buy gifts for some boys in her family. I suggested getting bath supplies (toothpaste, bubblebath, character-themed toothbrushes, etc). A lot of department stores have gift bundles this time of year that make it a practical and inexpensive gift to give. The best part of it for me, is that it's a gift that doesn't have to be decided to be thrown away or given away later. The toothpaste, soap, etc will eventually be used up so it won't clutter your house. My co-worker loved the idea and said she had a lot of great ideas to expand on it from there - like a towel to go with the soap.

As we talked, I said I needed to find gifts for the girls in my family. My co-worker likes to make jewelry as a hobby and she said she always makes the girls in her family jewelry every Christmas. I thought that would be a great idea again because if I made it myself, then I could save a ton of money. So, I'm going to make 15 girls under 7 yrs old a bracelet and necklace for Christmas. My co-worker gave me a few online sites to check: Fusion Beads and Fire Mountain Gems which would give better pricing then a local craft store. So last night I went to Michael's to check out the beads and product that was offered. It helped me going to the store in person because I was able to gauge the size of the beads that looked good, get comparative pricing and ideas on how to make the jewelry. I also know that if I fell short of the supplies I order online, I won't be stuck without it. I will still be able to go to the local store & pick up anything forgotten.

I went on Fusionbeads.com because it was had the best pricing and ease to browse the site & FREE SHIPPING. I always look for free shipping because then I don't have to worry about additional fees from the pricing I'm calculating. I realized quickly that I needed to be careful in my selection or my budget could easily be blown. This site has so much product and ideas that you can easily make a necklace for over $50 from one of the suggested kits or other spacers or charms offered. My co-worker suggested I look at the glass-fire polished beads because they were inexpensive compared to getting actual gemstones or pearls. However, glass beads are great for kids because they are still very pretty and yet if it gets broken or lost, it's not a huge financial loss. There's a ton of options and since jewelry & beading is not a hobby of mine, it took quite a bit of time to determine what I would do and select the product to buy.

However, I decided for the girls in my life, that I would make a necklace and bracelet that had their 'color' birthstone, along with the color birthstones of any siblings. I also found the most inexpensive letters to comprise the names of each girl on either the necklace or bracelet (haven't decided which yet). I thought that the extra expense of each letter ($0.13/letter for 100 letters is still $13) was worth it because every kid likes to feel they have personalized items with 'their' name on it. With 15 girls and 2 adult grandmothers, I was able to buy all the supplies I need for only $9.40/person. An easy way to keep it inexpensive was also to buy the clear magic elastic cord to avoid clasps, caps and other pieces needed to close the jewelry. For kids, I can tie the elastic cord together & then glue it to make sure it holds. Since the cord is elastic, its an ideal scenerio for kids to just slip on the stretch jewelry.

This will take quite a bit of time to put these necklaces & bracelets together and I hope that my 2 sons will be able to help so we can say it was a family project. I'm not sure how much help my husband will provide, but I will probably talk him into putting a couple beads together so I can say we ALL did it :) I'm very excited to make my daughter one as well and when she's older, I can tell her how we all made it together. However, this will be much more sentimental to give and recieve then if I bought the jewelry off the shelf & just handed it to each of them. The bracelets will also be personal and unique because no one else will have the same colors or family dynamics as the bracelets I make. By adding in the sibling colors, the jewelry now represents a family to these girls that I'm sure they will want to brag about with their friends.

I am by no means a professional jewelry maker, not even an advit hobbyist. However, by using the ideas of others & simplifying the task, I will make some very pretty jewelry. I can't wait to post a picture of the first couple pieces I make. First, I have to get it in the mail. Look forward to sharing with you my heart-felt gifts in an upcoming post!

Bye for now and HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU AND YOURS!!!

THANKS & GIVING

2011-11-21T12:58:00.001-05:00

I thought that I should write something about the upcoming holiday and in thinking about it, I realized it feels like a chore. We all know that chores don't have a lot of passion behind them. If I feel like I'm being forced to write about the upcoming holiday then my authentic message won't come through to the reader. Therefore, to keep this simple and truly be thankful for this upcoming holiday, I have a few lists to share.

10 things I Give THANKS For:

A healthy family: all 3 kids, my husband and myself
A peaceful morning - with no yelling at the kids or bickering with the husband
A good night's sleep with no kids waking up in the middle of the night
A job that is close to home so when I forget my laptop, I'm not too late in the morning
The pictures I printed on Friday & put up in my cubicle of the countries I was so lucky to visit while in college
That I'm so blessed to experience having both a daughter relationship and a son's relationship (2)
A husband that is willing to put up with my bad moods so he can experience my good moods
The chance to get my master's degree FREE paid for by a past employer
The opportunity to live in a country where I can take control of my future and career
The opportunity to question beliefs and religion to push for a deeper truth and equality for all

10 Things I'm GIVING or Recently Gave:

Time to my kids every morning and night
Time to my friend & her family while we watched her daughter in a parade yesterday
The dishes we are making for this Thanksgiving at my sister-in-law's house
The hugs and kisses I gave my husband this morning before he left
The thoughts and prayers I offer to my friends and family without them even knowing
Baby clothes donated to charity that no longer fit my kids
The maternity clothes I gave a family member who recently found out she's expecting
Attending a play recently to support my brother & his significant other
Attending a funeral of a close friend whose grandfather passed away
Lending an ear and offering personal experience to a friend facing challenges with her current marital and family dynamics

10 Things I Learned From This Exercise:

It was easier to make the list for the things I'm grateful for rather then the offerings I've made
I need to increase my offerings if it's so difficult to think of things I've done
I feel better about myself if my list for giving is greater than my list of receiving
It doesn't have to cost anything to actually give of myself. Time is very valuable and so is compassion
The things I'm grateful for aren't necessarily all recent, which means to me that past experiences and opportunities have lasting affects on my life and future outlook.
No amount of money can buy health
A morning without yelling can set the tone for the entire day, so why not strive for it more often!
Surrounding myself with good memories or pictures of places I've been helps remind me of a passion I have in life that I want to share with my family
I look to share my life and experience with others on a larger but deeper level
Family is the most important thing in my life and it's worth any amount of sacrifice!

"Grief is an expression that you loved well." by Elizabeth Lesser

2011-11-21T09:55:00.001-05:00

We want to get our finances under control so we can say that we live & love well!

This statement was made by Elizabeth Lesser, on Oprah's SuperSoul Sunday. This statement really rings true to my heart because to truly understand it is the purpose of life itself. I haven't had anyone truly close to me pass away at this point in my life.
All my grandparents died when I was 12 yrs old or younger so I wasn't old enough to feel the full affects of grief. However, a couple years ago my husband's grandmother passed away and I felt like I had a special bond. She was always so kind to me even if she was in a bad mood & being rude to the rest of her family. She was not a woman to hold back her comments. We would go to family dinners often with my husband's grandmother always there ready to give someone a piece of her mind if she wanted to. However, with me, she was always kind and gentle and quick to defend me. I'm not sure why she took such a liking to me, but of course, I loved her right back. I understood the personality of being so rough outside but yet a softy to some. My family had a similar background. Therefore, when she passed, it was the first time I didn't just feel sad at a funeral. I weeped and cried not fully understanding where the emotion was coming from.

This was a woman I loved well. I only knew her a few years before her passing but I loved her well and therefore greived her loss. I knew we would never have those talks again or jokes between us or her defending me in front of my husband who was making a joke about me. She was the grandmother I never got to know growing up. But she left a lasting impression on my life and my daughter will carry her name on. So when I think about all the changes I'm making in my life right now, it is for the future expectation that I will be able to love well and be loved well. Whiling I was grieving for my husband's grandmother, I felt the love and closeness to her.

When I think about the purpose of trying to get my finances under control, it has nothing with money itself. It's about feeling and sharing the love that I had for my husband's grandmother when she passed. With all the debt looming over my head, I feel myself holding back with giving time and money with family & friends. I've come to realize that this debt and living beyond our means has created such a fear in me of everything crashing down around me that I'm not able to fully love and give love because of this fear. I'm not being true to myself about my financial situation so it's creating an invisible wall where I don't let those closest to me see this fear. I worry that if friends and family truly saw the debt and instability that my family currently has, they would be hugely disappointed or at the very least lose respect for me. Without having my debt under control, I'm being a total hypocrite of my belief system compared to how I live.

All of this prevents me from being my best self. I need to get back on track with what I value in life and then my walls will come down and I can share my life and experiences with others. When someone passes, it's the feelings for that person that need to be remembered and cherished. I don't look forward to grief of losing a loved one, but that is a genuine feeling in the universe that represents the good in life as well. We might feel like we lost someone too soon or for the wrong reasons. However, the feelings of a loss are so true to our core of a soul that it represents so much positive in the midst of a dark time. We want to remember others for being true to themselves and the memories they left us. We want others to remember us for all those memories we made and being true to ourselves.

Make Time for Guilty Pleasures

2011-11-18T14:58:00.001-05:00

I have to make time in my life for something silly that I personally enjoy that I can admit may never add value to my life on a whole. For me, that is "Real Housewives of..." I love these series and shows. I am a junkie when it comes them, but I admit that there is really very little educational value or life perspective that these shows give me. I think they are fun to watch and gives me a perspective of other people's drama - mostly brought upon themselves. However, there needs to be time in your life where you can say this little bit of time doesn't actually have a purpose other just make me smile or happy momentarily.

For some people, this might be a remote control helicopters, sports, sewing, reading or eating chocolate every so often. This can range from anything because we are all so vastly different. However, you cannot work or be thinking about planning your future 24/7. Eventually, you will get burnt out & if that happens, then you will lose focus on everything you have worked for to date. So whatever your guilty-pleasure, it should be something completely unjustified. It should not occupy a lot of your time, but when you do it, you should feel like you don't have to explain to anyone why you are doing it, other then to release stress & leave your current responsibilities if only for a short period of time.

So indulge a few times a week into something silly. For me, it's "Real Housewives of..." but it can be anything. I love spending time with my kids too, but I don't think of that as something frivilous - that has long, lasting affects for everyone involved, so I do that as much as possible. My only rule is that this frivilous window of time should NOT involve too much money. Afterall, our goal is to get out of debt so we don't want to lose sight of our goals. However, not everything single thing in your life has to have a specific need or meaning....so what is your guilty pleasure?

Gift Cards

2011-11-18T08:48:00.001-05:00

Gift cards accumulate with me. I forget that I have them & therefore rarely use them. It's just like coupons. I hardly use them because I find it difficult having them at the moments I need them and then when I do, I forget I have them. I usually get a few gift cards throughout the year. Since I'm on my mission to spend less, avoid credit cards and live within a budget, it's very hard with the number of birthdays and holidays that occur to me.

However, I was very proud of myself. I needed to get a birthday present for my niece and knew I had a gift card for Bed, Bath & Beyond. However, I went to that store at lunch & couldn't find anything for a 2 year old. Then I went to Acme which was close by and I had a gift card but wasn't sure the amount that was on it. I thought I'd have $5 on the card & then make up the difference with my debit card. I found an adorable & yet inexpensive gift so I went up to the register to buy it. The gift card had $30 on it and I didn't put a penny out of my pocket. It was a great find.

When you think creatively, avoiding to spend money then very interesting things happen. I understand why people believe in God (myself included) because the most unexpected things occur when you don't think that the situation will turn out as positively.

Some of you might be thinking why would I use a gift card given to me on someone else. For a couple reasons: I don't want to spend any of my income because I'm determined to stay on budget. I don't need anything specifically which is why most of the time, the gift cards sit in my purse unused. I don't feel bad about giving to others, because it makes me feel good inside and I actually feel better when I feel like I'm giving something up for myself in order to make someone else happy. It's part of a Christian belief, but I think most people at the core understand this, but don't always follow-through on these actions. Giving doesn't feel as good if you don't give something up in the process. However, when sacrifices are made and then you still meet a goal, it's a great feeling.

To take a phrase from Dave Ramsey, "Live like no one else, so you can live/give like no one else later" This has so much meaning because it defines making sacrifices that the general public & most people you know will think is extreme because when you are debt free, you will have a life that most people cannot understand because they will most likely still be in debt. Also, when you are debt free, you can give and help others more because you are more stable in your own financial situation!

So next time you're strapped for cash, look to see if you have a gift card that you can put towards the needed gift or upcoming event.

My Debt as of 11/1/2011

2011-11-17T09:34:00.001-05:00

Below is the debt that I've compiled over the last month or so. It's not as much as it could be but it's a lot more than I want. I could send all 3 of my kids to college with this debt and then some. It's a shame that I wasn't more responsible and didn't look at my debt head-on from the very beginning.
When I bought my house with my husband, I had paid off every single credit card. The only debt I had at the time was my student loans. That was 6 years ago and look what I've accumulated. This is only our personal debt between my husband and I. This doesn't account for the debt that my husband has in his business as well that is all tied to our personal credit as well. Amazing, huh? At the height of our careers to date, we were making $120k a year. That has fluctuated dramatically over the last couple years but we've always managed to pay our bills without missing payments. I fear if we don't start attacking this debt now and living on even less, something will catch up with us and we will fall behind.

I continue my goal of being debt-free and I'm still working Dave Ramsey's plan but reading up on any other people out there with sound advice. I've got $350 saved for baby step 1 so far:

	Balance		Payment
Citimortgage	$282,100.21		$1,857.22
Tax	$6,072.00	$506.00	$545.72
Home Insurance	$1,127.00	$93.92	$93.92
TD LOAN - 7.74%	$52,515.83		$397.16
Honda	$29,604.98		$475.74
GMC	$6,000.00		$592.45
citicard - bd 15.99%	$19,665.43		$463.04
chase card - bd 14.24%	$19,218.27		$427.00
aes 1-3.125%	$4,248.85		$73.40
aes 2-4.375%	$2,323.45		$86.27
AMEX 1-3.99%	$2,898.67		$58.00
AMEX 2			$82.00
AQUA	$0.00		$50.00
PECO	$0.00		$315.00
GAS	$0.00		$200.00
DAYCARE	$0.00		$1,600.00
SEWER

TOTAL	$425,774.69		$7,316.92

So now it's out there. I've taken it out of the closet and my secrets are out. I need to start doing something about this now! I'm slowly getting my husband on board. I know once I make up my mind, it's tough to change it and hopefully I don't get side-tracked with the holidays. So far, so good. I think my husband is starting to see it my way but he still has his doubts. Until I really started getting tired of being afraid of facing my debt, I didn't believe we could fight our way out of this either. I know that we can now, so I'm willing to be patient until my husband sees the same thing!