That being said, a small part of me is saddened every time I encounter a woman defines herself as a mom (or a man define himself as a dad, for that matter). When asked to describe yourself, what exactly does ‘mom’ mean? Is that really all we are and all we aspire to be?

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More To Being a ‘Mom’ Than Just Being a Mom

I don’t argue that being a mom is the most important job in the world. It’s difficult, the pay sucks, and there’s very little appreciation for it. Being a mom usually means you’re not only the primary caregiver, but it also means you’re the cook, maid, chauffeur, tutor, and a million other things.

Ask any mom, and of course she’s going to tell you she wants to be known as the best mom on the planet. We all try our very best to do the right thing, keep our kids safe, and teach them everything they’ll need to know for a happy and successful life, but what about all the other things you are?

Are you a daughter, an aunt, a wife, a best friend? What makes these labels any less worthy? What does being a mom say about you that these other things don’t?

What about your passions? Of course, being a mom requires passion, but are you creative? Are you a great problem-solver? Do you love a good mystery or do you have a hobby that you love? Are you loyal? What do you really and truly enjoy? What makes you come alive and bring the person you are on the inside out into the open?

What Does the Mom Label Teach Our Children?

Do you remember the first time you or your child happened to encounter a teacher outside of the school and they were surprised? It was the first time you or your child realized that teachers (or doctors/nurses/mail carriers/etc) were real people with lives outside of their regular roles. Do you ever wonder if this is how children see their moms too?

When I grew up, my mom wore the proverbial ‘super mom’ cape. There was nothing she couldn’t do, there was nothing she didn’t know, and she always made sure we had everything we needed (not wanted…needed). That was all she did. She cared for her family.

One day, when I was much older, I woke up and my mom took the cape off. She was no longer the fairy tale, perfect mom I thought she was. I realized she made mistakes, she had wants, she dreamed, and had the same feelings and worries I did. That day, she became a real human being.

Is that really what we want to teach our children? That once you have children, a parent is the only thing you are or are allowed to be? Maybe it is.

Personally, I think it’s important for children to get a view of parents who are well rounded and care for themselves as well as those around them. I absolutely agree that children should be your number one priority and biggest concern. Every move you make should benefit them in some way, but I’ve learned that part of providing them with that is looking after yourself while giving your children a realistic view of the world around them.

The point of this piece is not to preach or tell you the difference between right and wrong. I shared this with you because I think it’s the discussion that’s most important. I really feel we should consider the labels we use on a daily basis and wonder if one label is enough and whether we’re using the right labels.

I want to know what you think. Should we be using ‘mom’ as a label?

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People seem to think that because I no longer put steel-toed shoes on in the morning and put 8-12 hours in each day in the sweltering heat on a dusty factory floor, I no longer ‘work’. Some even seem to think I should feel sorry for them because they still work a manual labour, entry-level job. Top it off, people seem to think my time is worth essentially NOTHING!

Well, you know what? I often think that other side needs to sit down for a minute and have a peek at my day.

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‘You Don’t Work as Hard as Me’

I get up anywhere between 4 and 6 am. If I get up extra early, I spend the first two glorious hours of my morning going through my email, checking messages, sneaking in some games, and enjoying my first cup of coffee. By the time 6-6:30 am rolls around, it’s time for me to get my kid out of bed, get him ready for school, get my day organized, and get in a shower before it’s time to get down to business.

I then work on client content in between answering numerous emails (some of which are really stupid…like ‘will you write me ten posts for $50?’), the phone, and dealing with the details of normal family life. I get my son’s lunch ready, get him back to school, and keep going, stopping every so often for a short break from the day. By the time my son arrives home from school, I’ve already got 11 hours in. This continues until I go to bed somewhere around 10pm.

My days are full. I like them that way. I prefer them that way and love my job, but don’t give me the attitude that ‘when you work as hard as I do for a living, you’ll understand what struggle is. You’re not as important as I am’ bullshit attitude. You know what buddy? By the time you get off work at your job, I’ve already had a full day and then some. And your job is more important? Well, let me screw up some copy for you and then we’ll discuss how important my job is, shall we?

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‘Anyone Can Do What You Do, So I’m Only Paying You What You’re Worth’

That’s the part that really frosts my biscuits when it comes to dealing with those who think cheap content is so great. Cheap content is only great so long as they’re screwing someone who’s doing a good job. If they’re actually getting what they’re paid for, they get irritated. I’ve heard tons of people complain about how they were dissatisfied with a $5 article because it had spelling mistakes. You know what? At $5, you should be happy it was even legible, as far as I’m concerned. I pity the poor person you likely yelled at and then probably refused to pay, but took his/her content anyway. You know, just to cover the inconvenience of ‘having to find a decent writer’, who will ultimately touch up the first writer’s content for $5 a piece.

These people seem to think content (or whatever online profession you’re in) should cost mere pennies and that it’s ok if you work for $0.80 cents per hour. For these people, I have one question:

Would you work and give up time away from your kid for a whopping 80 cents per hour? I’m assuming that you’ll be so happy with the 80 cents an hour that you’ll be excited to work 24 hours a day like a mad woman/man to pay your rent and bills?

I’m not afraid of hard work, but I do have my limits. I’d rather clean corrals with a teaspoon for $5/hr or pick shells from between a squirrel’s teeth than do what some people ask me to do for nothing. I’m not a fan of the lack of ‘please and thank yous’ either, but that’s a whole other matter…

Did you know that it takes me an average of 36 hours to compose copy for a standard 5 page website? I spend no less than 3 hours simply reading to get familiar with the company, the products, and the industry. I then take time to become acquainted with the target audience, what they like, what they don’t like, and how to get the reaction I’m looking for. I need to look at the goals for the website in the first place and determine what needs to happen in order to achieve them! I have a client profile that includes a lot of this information, but getting the information into that profile isn’t always easy because the client and I have to be on the same page at the end of it. This rarely happens and often requires phone calls or emails to iron out details and inconsistencies.

I spend close to 10 hours simply generating ideas and concepts that will ultimately create the imagery for the piece. I think about copy in bed, while watching TV, showering, driving, you name it. The way I see it, my work is what will ultimately make you money, so it deserves my full attention until it’s perfect, don’t you think?

Think that’s a lot of work for a mere five pages of copy that you only want to pay me $50 for? Keep in mind this list doesn’t include the extra research and work that goes into difficult topics, the rewrites that usually come with this type of work, the emails I’m answering, the phone calls, scope creep, books, marketing, and other things I have to do to keep my business running.

At the end of it all, I need to write the first piece, edit it, and edit it some more before I can even submit it to the client. At this point, most of the 36 hours is used up and I haven’t gotten to revisions or invoicing. Never mind if I have to chase a client to get paid for several months on end!

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The ‘You Work When You Feel Like It, So You Can Do X For Me’ Syndrome

To really get my goat, some people seem to think that because you work from home or are freelancing, this means you’re at their beck and call. There’s no ‘hey, I could really use help with X. Would you have time this week.’ Nope. It’s ‘I need X. I’ll (pick one to insert here: be over, drop the kids off, email the work over) in a few minutes. Oh, and do you think you could (finish it by tonight, keep the kids overnight, lend me $X) while you’re at it?’

I don’t mind helping anyone. I will help almost anyone who will appreciate it, but when people start demanding it of me, that’s a whole new ballgame. Contrary to popular belief, us online professionals did not start our businesses and work this hard to get to where we are so that we could be your personal bank/babysitter/maid/chauffer/whatever.

Then, when you don’t even have enough respect to appreciate the time I do take out from my business, that puts the final nail in your coffin. I didn’t beg to help you, and doing so certainly doesn’t benefit me or my family in any way, so I’m definitely not the one who should be grateful. The only way that would happen is if your demands came with a one-way ticket outta here.

Oh yeah, I can proudly say that when I give my word, I follow through. I can look at myself every morning and feel good because I’ve treated everyone as they’ve treated me or better. I think people used to call it ‘ethics’ in the old days…

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If that’s you, Practical SEO Copywriting by Glenn Murray is the perfect solution for you.

About Glenn Murray

In the world of copywriting, Glenn Murray is a big deal and one of the biggest in the industry. Having written for the likes of Toyota, Virgin, and the Australian Government, this guy is proof that you can play with the big boys and win.

He’s in high demand and has the rates and client list to prove it. Like most writers, he’s a bit technologically challenged, but combined with a Bachelor of Arts in Linguistics and English Literature as well as a Master of Arts in International Communication, he more than makes up for it. In fact, technology’s dislike for him works to his advantage as it means his work is in plain English that we can all understand. That’s what makes his books so special.

The Entire Process Explained, From Start To Finish

No matter how much experience you have with search engines and running a website, this book covers it. You’ll learn all about keywords and how Google and others use them to determine what a web page is about. Then, you’ll learn how to create copy that’s compelling and interesting for humans while still making it readable for the search engines.

When you’re finished with this book, you’ll have the knowledge and the information you need to write like the pros.

Common SEO Copywriting Problems Explained

SEO copywriters are faced with a number of different problems when it comes to combining the needs of humans with those of search engine crawlers. Glenn’s book Practical SEO Copywriting looks at each one, gives you examples of what they look like, and the secrets to solving them all.

Each problem is outlined in an easy to reach chart that makes it easy to read and refer back to as you write and encounter issues. The language is simple for anyone to understand, yet still entertaining and fun to read.

It’s the best 65 pages of non-fluffy instructions on SEO copywriting you’ll find on the web today.

The techniques are solid, up-to-date, and clearly explained.

If you want to learn SEO copywriting, Practical SEO Copywriting by Glenn Murray is definitely the book for you!

P.S. Glenn’s book comes with a 100% Money-Back Guarantee. Not that you’ll need it! Promise.

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What shocked me was the amount of outrage over a mother leaving her child behind.

(D Sharon Pruitt)

Wake Up People!

I don’t understand the outrage over a mom leaving her children behind. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not right, and you’d better kill me if you think you’re going to separate me from my kid, but give me a break! Women abandon their children all the time. It’s not right, but it happens.

Consider women with a drug problem or those who work the streets at night. There’s women who leave their children with their husbands when they divorce because they feel their spouses are in a better position to provide for their children. And let’s face it, some people just can’t handle the pressures of being a parent. Heck, there’s days where I don’t know if I can handle it J We all have those days.

Women Aren’t the Only Ones

What really perplexed me was the fact that everyone is outraged and disgusted that a mom could leave her children behind. Why is that so astonishing? Men abandon their children just as often if not more so than women and there never seems to be as much outrage at that!

For those of you who would argue there’s a stronger bond between mothers and their children than between fathers and their kids, I’ve got one word: bullshit. I’ve seen fathers with a devotion to their children that I’m envious of. They have endless patience, love, and understanding for their children. As far as I’m concerned, the gender of the parent means nothing.

Society’s Problem

In truth, I think this whole phenomenon of parent abandoning their children (or in a worst case scenario, pull a Susan Smith) stems from a lack of drive and determination in a segment of society today. Children are often used as pawns for everything from money to marriage. In some instances, they’re even decorations used to improve the image of the parents. What seems to appear less and less these days is the idea of family as a priority.

Then again, maybe it’s simply that we hear about it more now. These things are far more acceptable than ever before. A hundred years ago or more, women simply couldn’t abandon their children because there was no one to leave them with. Unless you were rich, you didn’t have female servants to care for them, families could barely afford to feed their own children, never mind taking on someone else’s children, and it was almost unheard of for men to be single parents.

Perhaps, it’s more because women have that option now whereas before, only men could walk away without repercussions?

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Well, I needed this site like another hole in my head, but I couldn’t help it. I found myself in need of a space I could rant and chat about more personal things that don’t really have much to do with my normal business. I decided that, since there are no good resources for divorced online professionals, I’d create one. No big plan, no direction, no goals…We’ve got enough of those already. Just a place where we can whine, complain, and share great stuff so that we feel a little less ‘alone’ in our world.

Great Products and Services

When I find something great, I want a chance to tell you about it, even if it’s a great shampoo or a book I’ve read. Don’t worry, I won’t get too far off in left field like discussing underwear choices or something, but no matter what it is, you’ll love it. I promise.

Kids, Parenting & Relationships

To say ‘single parenting is tough’ is an understatement, and when you combine it with everything else we do through the day, it can be a nightmare. But as hard as it is, we really do love it. I want to share the frustrations and realizations I’ve discovered along the way and maybe even get a little help or advice from you.

Real Life

When you’re an online professional, you live two lives: your online life and your life in the real world. Now, I don’t know about you, but I find that these two lives don’t always meld together the way I’d like them to. People are always complaining in some direction, and when everyone’s happy, something’s blowing up. I’d like to think this section is a unique topic to this blog that’ll cover these headaches and how to cope with it all.

Online Business

I love this topic. In fact, it’s one of my favorite subjects. Here, I want to talk about things like marketing, starting businesses, books and anything else you and I encounter while working online. However, I also want to include the subtle differences us single parent online professionals notice…you know, things like when our kids answer the phone, when you confuse a client for a date, and other oddball things that could only happen to us!

Recreation, Entertainment & Things We Do In Our Downtime

I’m looking forward to talking about all the different things I enjoy outside of my online business and parenting. You know…favorite bubble baths, books, and pretty much all the odd ball stuff I enjoy. I’m also looking forward to finding out what your favorite products and activities are as well.

Anyway, now you know what I know! I look forward to discovering more about you and enjoying this journey together. You’ll find me to the left of crazy, just on the right side of insanity.

Want to catch me elsewhere? You can find me here:

Angie’s Copywriting

Travel the Prairies

Site Reference

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You’re Divorced, Not Crippled or Diseased!

Several times a week, I get a request for services from someone who lays a sob story on me about how they’re a single parent, newly divorced, overworked, underpaid, and really need a deal.

Give. Me. A. Break!

You know what? I’m sorry they’re in that position, I really and truly am. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy because I know just how bad things can get. I’ve been in a position where I’ve had a kid, no place to go, no money, and no job.

BUT!! Instead of whining and feeling sorry for myself, I worked my ass off at several jobs (night and day shifts!), with a baby, to get myself out of it. I often went hungry to make sure my kid had what he needed, so I know how important ‘getting a leg up’ can be.

I didn’t use my sad sob story to get things for free just to get ahead, I worked for it. Once things sorted themselves out, I taught myself how to be a freelancer in my spare time and worked at it until things well enough that I could support myself and my family doing it. Just so you know, I didn’t beg for a free copy of a book in order to learn how either. I figured out how to be an online professional by making mistakes and learning from them.

Even now, I’m a single mom running my own business without anyone’s handouts. You know what that means? I need the break just as badly as they do, but I’m not going to take advantage of others to do it!

They’re not crippled or diseased, and even if they were, there should be limits on the amount of charity they attempt to collect! Have a little pride, self-worth, and drive! If they want it badly enough, you’ll find a way to get there!

If You Really Need the Hand Up and Out…

If you need professionals services such as Web design, development, copywriting, consulting, or whatever, there are several alternatives that benefit everyone instead of all the ‘good’ being one-sided.

Trade Services – I’ll admit this one is a bit precarious. I, myself, have traded services on numerous occasions only to get screwed over in the end, but that’s only because I was foolish about it. If you want to do this, both sides should work on each other’s projects at the same time. Then, hold the results of that work until each side is complete, or hand over portions of it at the same time. Also, be sure the details of the deal are crystal clear and in writing, even if it’s your best friend!

Go For Lower Quality. Temporarily! - If you need an entire website designed, why not pay someone to customize a free template? Does it really need to be done by the best? If you absolutely can’t afford their prices, consider getting it done by someone new to the industry. Granted, it’s lower quality or might require more time, but it’s a start and will get you by until you can get something decent!

Break the Project Into Manageable Chunks — If you need copy written for a website, get the most important pages done by a professional copywriter and write the rest yourself until you can afford to have the professional complete the product. If nothing else, maybe you can do something else until you have the budget to do it properly!

Perhaps the most important lesson here is this: Be honest and upfront! If these people wouldn’t attempt to squirrel me out my money, I would happily give them a discount or work out some sort of deal. However, giving me these kinds of stories feels like an insult to me, the years of hard work I’ve put into my business, and my skills.

I’m sorry, but in this world, you get back what you give out!

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