Noise aligned right becomes Music......

A song to complete, a song to begin

2018-05-10T11:59:00.000-07:00

I have walked great long roads, won many worlds, I am a king who has seen glory all the way, a road laid on blood and death.

Great Storms collide, worlds come down as new worlds are born; a cause for loss yet complete,
I have taken solace in destruction; for I rest upon the truth where there is death can only be new life.

I have ruled worlds, I am a king of kings, and yet all I seek today and unto the ends of time is your sanctuary;

To you I surrender my Life, to you I surrender my Karma,

Krishna, you are the very meaning of life itself,

my actions are yours, my desires are yours

I may carry briefly the burdens of life; I seek riches and glory far beyond imagination can comprehend,
yet I am fragile as a drop of dew in front of the all-consuming sun that is you.

I sing one final song; I will give you one last demand;
Keep me from my sins, take them as your own.

Like poison, like a vine that devours life,
this cowardice and malice,
greed and jealousy,
rage and sorrow
takes shape in my heart and soul, too dark and heavy I can move nowhere,
it is the shadow of dark shadows.

I surrender unto you, to the light that would break the darkness wherever,
I surrender unto you.

I give you all my sins, I give you all that I seek;
All my actions are your bidding, all my glory is only your doing.

There shall be no more sorrow, there shall be no more pain.
I do not know what is right and what is wrong, for I take what comes from you as it will be
No defeats shall conquer me, no pain shall break me, for all of them are roads that lead unto you,
You are the universe, the creator and the destroyer. Krishna, you are the very meaning of meaning itself.

#ninnaicharanadainthen #Bharathi #Mytake #Translation

Fledgling of Fire,..

2016-10-25T21:36:00.001-07:00

I met with a fledgling of Fire on my walk back to home, it was beautiful and fragile in all ways possible. I could not but admire the young, unguarded little fledgling; for it was an Amber in a dark deep cave, he was there alighting his own small world, a star amidst the vastness.

I thought what chaos can it be, what catastrophe can it bring; such a young spark of fire can only be a thing of beauty, elixir to all life on earth; so I took it in to my arms, to protect it from the first rains, walked away from the road in to the woods.

I didn't know then that darkness can be broken by the smallest of light, great sorrow can be drowned in a child's innocent smile.

With the best of my intents to protect it, I found a tree hollow where I thought my fledgling of fire can rest and live, I did not think I can protect it from the harsh winds on my way back, so there it stayed, and I half-heartedly walked towards the road and on to my house.

The dawn had not break and I hurried myself to gather my wood. I thought I can check on my curious little friend.

I didn't know then; I didn’t know now;

He is not a fledgling anymore, not fragile as ever.

From a great distance I could see smoke arising, my stride quickened as did my pounding heart. I didn't want to believe what had happened, but as I had feared the forest had come down in ashes and the flames still stood to the clouds through the night. The Great forest had come down so there can be new life.

He is not a fledgling of fire anymore, nor is he delicate.

What difference does it make if it’s a fledgling or a blaze; its heart the same, a spark is a spark.

#Bharathi #Translation

#MyTake

-Balaganesh Narayanan

Tale of a Clown ,..

2016-08-12T03:24:00.001-07:00

The greatest tragedy of the stars is often people do not notice that it is only a memory, a shadow of a long lost times of glory, desolate and distant.

Such was he; his name once was fondly remembered, even loved. This was ages before he started wearing the mask, before he created a new identity for a lost one. Now while he played the dwarf of Witsville he became a dwarf; he truly could not reach for the doorknob, to play the witch of Noseless people, he became a witch and could cast spells of noses on people, his identity was shifting like the waves in the seas; never in a place; never here, never there.

Faraway lands knew his tales, a handful very few had not laughed at his jokes, and sometimes they didn’t laugh as they were deaf. He was a clown of great crowds, his dance a charade of his heart, his heart so full of joy and light. He charged his people nothing, but only a stomach full. He had a big appetite was his excuse to not charge those who had nothing.

Children traveled miles to see him dance, for the love he spread;

He loved children. He would slip and fall and break his bones just to see them laugh, and among them was the little princess of the hearts. She came running to him every time he fell to see if he is okay; never laughing. It was not her kind of entertainment but when he told her he fell because the earth spun a little faster that day she would burst in to laughter, she knew beneath his facade he was intelligent, full of wisdom and so she learnt the world and reason from him, and he from her to cherish little joys and life around him. He was not just her clown, he was her friend, her confidante and as always she was his own little universe.

The clown away from all his pretexts of extroversion for the world around him was alone; a great ocean with its own life was he, he seldom felt anything: joy and sorrow to him was one and the same, now except for the princess. He had let her in or rather he didn’t need to, she was there, she had always been there. He had to imagine how people felt anything so he could play it for the princess and as he noticed the world around him and practiced imitation more than creation he started to feel, he could make himself sad for a fallen leaf, and feel joy for the cherry blossom in the springs; not a charade but his own emotion, he loved to observe the world than to be an exhibit, he took pleasure in what he did yes, but this was transcending; he felt like a God.,

Something happened; he knew nothing was permanent for he was a clown of reason, not a wise philosopher who dreams his life away. But even for him it was unreasonable. The princess had died a tragic death; ironically she had slipped and fell, hit her head and bled her life. He was silent for months, not a word, he could not hear his own heartbeat, often he doubted if he was dead too.

Now he is a man with an empty soul, life has taken a bit of him every time he saw hope; not that he is weak but often it is only the largest banyan that will fall in the storm and the grass conveniently survives. He suffocated in his shell for months, never coming out. The grief was strong but he was too, too strong to forsake his life but for his loneliness now is not the same as it was, he has seen now what it is like to have someone who seeks and sees the world as he did. His humor has taken in to a sinister form turning a shade darker each day. His smile now a grin, he couldn’t stop the twisted evil taking form inside of him if he wanted to, he didn’t want to. The princess spoke to him every single day so he couldn’t stop. She’d stop talking to him if he stopped.

__________________________________________To be Continued

How 2016 was the worst of numbers ,..

2016-05-07T10:10:00.002-07:00

Already tired of 2016 and it’s not even half done, and when I just thought shit can’t get any worse and life was like, “we’ll see about that” and then shit got shittier and stinkier (Yeahh that’s a word from now on, “Stinkier”)

My little experiment of renting my own place was a kick to my balls by myself, well try doing that; awkward angle. Apparently I don’t do well alone as I thought, everything started to look more negative and hopeless and I started hearing voices in my head, alienating people, playing scenarios over and over while watching flash or Arrow. And well, what exactly is wrong with Barry Allen; he keeps saying he is the fastest man alive and in every single season and episode there is someone else beating the living crap out of him, from reverse flash to Zoom and even the girl on steroids (Velocity-9) is faster than him, they keep this up and even Cisco would make faster laps than Barry. Could I be any more drama (Just kidding about the voices in my head though, I’m still sound of mind and it’s safe to talk to me, or no??)

Sometimes you are too confident and arrogant about yourself, you think of yourself as strong and tall and unstoppable; juggernaut of sorts, 2015 was a year of optimism and hope for me, and then I made a few decisions telling myself, “Dude you are awesome, let’s do it” and then came 2016. Yes, I’m just going to blame everything on the year. So if you are going to read me you might as well accept the fact that it’s all on 2016. So here I am having no idea on what to do or how to proceed, burdens I cannot share, even less temperament to explain (someone say why do you even bother and the immediate retort is, “Go fuck a dog or something”) and then you might ask why am I writing all this, well I thought so too, but I had to write this for myself, once I've written about something I've often been able to get over it, so here I am, rambling on and on.

It is so refreshing to just assign blame on something/someone and get it over with. What’s better than a simple minded number like “2016” to put all the crap on? A sort of reason why single, unmarried people have no reason to be humble, we could just say fuck it and move on, All we need is a rock to hold on to and build ourselves around, an understanding parent, an awesome friend, a street dog that wiggles it's tail whenever it sees you, a two year old cousin who loves you, could be anyone or anything., just so we don’t lose hope on life.
It’s always a small crossing between life and hopelessness, it’s an even smaller push that defines where we are and who we are. The decisions we make, the weight we put on people around us, it’s a shame our success in life cannot be defined in a single front. We can’t just say I have a job, my friends you can all go die, pleaseee. So there are just too many factors to label us a failure, you have some money, a job and family and you still can’t watch a movie in peace, make a light hearted joke and get away with it, catch up with a friend and talk shit about the world and share a beer then what’s the point, the world is changing I need to balance everything on every front, it’s a tiring job, the thing is you want to give up every time you do it and you can’t somehow because everyone else do it.

Life saps all the energy from us and expects more, if caffeine is all that keeps you going then you are somewhat lucky, I am quite sure there are universes with no caffeine, people will just have to make do with Tea, how cruel that is.

Deep breath, tell myself I am fine, that the night is always the darkest before the dawn (usual crap to keep me going)

So once again getting ready for the next lap.

Get Set GOoooooo...

Walking Past Clouds and Rains,…

2016-02-20T03:27:00.001-08:00

Out in the darkness my eyes see it all so clear,
I succumb under its weight,
I become one with it;
While Light blinds me, scalds my senses and tortures my soul to the point of breaking.
With the storm’s cunning it takes away all;
So less are its efforts I feel so powerless and the sense to resist has left me floating in an endless abyss; a pit devouring life,
But as the night approaches I lay awake in the chaos and watch;
The silence so deafening, I can see and hear what lies beneath,
its screams echoing through time and space.
Fathoms away from life, it seeks death-
Of its obsession to absence than the magnificence of the presence,
The effortless drought of light is who I am, shadows of shadows
Darkness so thick one could breathe it, touch it, embrace it and revel in the dimensions of the Gods unnoticed.
The magic of love and life are measly illusions forged out of dreams;
A hole lies where a heart was.
I lay awake as patient as the Gods shaping life
Waiting to reach out and take back what’s mine from the sternest of storms and thunder and lightning.
I am life and I am death, the beginning and the end, the creator and the destroyer,
Everything that is and is not,
My hysteria travels through worlds, its insanity fuels suns and stars and I accept light so I can live in the dark.
In an ocean of black shadows where my eyes see right and bright, shining lone ambers in a deep coal mine, with the glow of a hunting falcon, I fly high and steep; ascend in to the winds to look down
And a nose dive to see if I survive, knowing I will
Buried beneath shallow valleys and confidences of the great oceans, an expression of life and death; one good eye and one fading light
I begin hearing whispers, a colossal leap in to the space and my hands reaching out to the source; it’s freezing cold, a fear takes shape like a serpent, coils around and round and seeps in to my mind and heart and gives me strength,
Its venom heals wounds and scars as if there were none;
I am the two sides of a coin holding its reigns I turn on my own,
Thunder storms beside I walk like the king of kings.

How OK Kanmani is a sad melodrama :| :( !!??!!!

2015-04-26T12:02:00.001-07:00

I was tricked into believing Ok kanmani was a happy-go-lucky love flick, but when I watched it for the second time the hard truth started seeping into my thick skull and I realized it is actually a sad movie disguised in beautiful cinematography, witty oneliners and Out-of-the-world Music; it starts with a bang, how can it not with the confident Dulquar and expressive and extraordinarily cute Nithyamenon trying to woo each other and end up being successful ;) then moves on portraying how charmingly magical love can be, sets off a song in everyone's heart, makes everyone wants to dance in the rain. But then as the climax closes in they had to get married because of the social pressure, and everything falls apart, they end up not being able to go out with anyone else and just make kids :p :p

(please dont get up before the end card)

The Great fall and the Silence that follows,........

2014-02-03T23:12:00.000-08:00

The Cold blues of the skies and its cosmic silence weighing down on his soul as a rock sinking with no hopes in the deep calm oceans, with no hold or ties to life. The pure and white snows of the Himalayas which once were the very reflection of his soul now has become nothing but a mere cloak to hide what’s beneath. Finally the time has come; his reason and in turn his very life has started to dissolve, not a surprise. For quite a while now he knows what bound him to life has disappeared from his memories and his soul; which eventually would push him to the long sleep and search.

He fell down to the earth from the searing heights of Himalayas, what he was once, a majestic bird, with wings spanning across whole continents now a burning ball of fire, Triggering auroras in to the skies and watching souls alike. Colors too vivid to imagine now holding hands in silence witnessing the great fall, every flap of his wing in some deep corner of the universe giving rise to a star, spunning life in to the farthest reaches of the universes, the never ending cycle of his descent and awakening has begun. For what purpose he carried a shape for so long is now burnt in the boundless heat and sprayed as ashes across the appalling heights of the great mountains. In another way by losing his shape the mythical bird has become a bigger purpose, a reason beyond comprehension. once in every Billennia he loses his reason, the reason which holds him together as an entity and burns, the heat scorching the suns and stars but his soul lives on, searching for a purpose; the burned ashes being the carrier of his destiny, in his elemental form he remains an observer for centuries; looking for a worthy purpose, for his patience surpasses that of the Gods shaping life.

Centuries and millennia to him are mere seconds, his understanding of time is colossal, Eons may pass and he sleeps in silence knowing time is an illusion, why run behind it when you know you cannot catch up; what lies ahead is bound to come close, not left to anyone’s choice, even to one as powerful as himself, the only truth he understands is purpose.

When one knows what he is looking for; the mirage of time disappears, too focused on what you want, everything else becomes a blur. The vastness of the skies and the un-measurable distances are the places he dwells, now he has become shapeless, the very winds of the monsoons he was creating he has become himself, his eyes as focused as always begins the long search, for the purpose and to once again to find the reason.

People call him by various names, Hindu legends call him Garuda, the God of Birds, while western civilizations call him the Phoenix; he who raises from his own ashes. He neither cares for religions nor for races, the high skies are his kingdom he is the watcher of the earth and life and bringer of storms.

————————————————————————————————————

I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.
-Geetha

In his final moments he takes whole ships as if a pack of cards and tosses them unto the wind, teaching humbleness and humility, creating storms, moving mountains with the twitch of his fingers, and dispelling the illusion of eternity to all life looking; nothing is permanent; the skies roared alongside, but he himself is permanent thought the passing souls; he could hear them but chose not to answer for what they will never understand is that he may come alive as time passes, after eons, may be on another plane but he will never be himself without the same purpose, to the person who knows everything eternity as much as time is an illusion.

The final darkness dawns on as he gives up his slight grasps on reality and his memories and collapses in to silence, a silence so loud that it hurts eyes and ears of commons, closing his eyes he shuts out everything and starts his search for himself.

The King and the Truth......

2013-06-13T00:30:00.001-07:00

He stood up from his meditation under the soon to be called The Tree of enlightenment, looked over his subjects; the same gaze he once used to give as a King now has taken a shroud of mystery and subtlity. King Siddhartha started speaking to his disciples, his voice booming across the skies and beyond and heard by the Gods as one of their own, while soldiers of great wars stood still and starred at the skies.

The Great king Siddhartha declared,"I renounce all earthly possessions, My desires, My Karma and every bond that binds me; I wish, you my dear disciples shall do the same". The answer that his followers and other greats like him have equally sought over ages has been found; thought the gathering.

The Skies trembled as if in acceptance of the Truth, a torrential rain has started and came down in respect to the King turned ascetic; King Siddhartha felt not the rain, nor the winds, only the satisfaction of the fulfillment of his reason, he had been wandering in and out of his body, traveled to the past where no man has ever set foot on and the future that is yet to come, for years he had sat under that tree in a trance, trying to know nothing else but himself, he has become omniscient which now feels natural, like how a common man knows what he sees, King Siddhartha knows the past, present and future; no walls barring his sight, every mind in the crowd known to him as if its him, no secrets hidden, he sees through their heart and soul.
A little child from the crowd suddenly caught his attention, its eyes fogged by the rain; yet as bright and curious as the King himself, Siddhartha felt as if the child wanted to ask him something, now that he has all the answers, so sure of himself the King beckoned the child to come near, knelt down to the child and inquired, "What is it little one?", the child wiping off the rain drops trailing down his face answered, "My dear King , your wish that the world renounces all desires in itself is a desire, is it not ?"

Deserts are a sign of lifelessness, yet in its deepest corners life thrives; the desert itself is alive; it plays tricks on mind, creating mirages, luring people in by showing them what they want to see. Siddhartha's mind has been wandering in the deepest deserts of all times, he has started walking towards a loan Oasis that stood in the middle of the desert; he thought he was all alone in the vastness of the universe but now he could hear a child's voice calling him from behind, getting stronger by each second.

Shocked by the sudden revelation, his years of ascetic life, his search and all his answers shattered by a child's innocent question, tears start flowing from his eyes, he makes no attempt to hide them but veiled to his disciples only by the rains. The Great King knelt down lower, his voice which once stopped a charging bull on its tracks now reduced to a mere whisper, whispered to himself and to the child, "Who are you", not as a question but as an answer. The child retorted, "I am you, everyone and everything else; the source and the end", and closed the King's eyes with his little palms, in the very moment becoming a blinding speck of light; the sun, moon and the stars bowing in shame of their own dullness, the universe for a split of a second lit only by Truth, the child becomes one with King Siddhartha.

He who closed his eyes as King Siddhartha opens his own and the world's as one and as the Buddha

King Siddhartha's aching dry throat pleads with him to walk towards the Oasis, his mind though has turned back towards the voice, sees light and knows the direction and its reason.

Higgs boson and the pakkathu veetu patti…

2012-12-24T04:59:00.000-08:00

Physics(The Subject) in many ways is an attractive woman, it lures you in with its amazing features such as the hopes for answer to the universe and everything else. Makes you think it is all that you want to understand and in every turn eludes you. The great Oasis in the desert of time that most physicists long to see in their short lifeterm(what arrogance) is the Higgs boson. This particle turns out a mirage every time great men think and boast they’ve found it, just like Love does to every man in search for it.

A few months ago when it hit the headlines again a neighbourhood guy, a science enthusiast I presume, went running to his friends to share the happy news about Higgs boson particle being unveiled in the CERN particle accelerator facility. In his way he shared his enthusiasm to his patti(grand ma); about the impact it will have on all the mysteries of the universe. Finally how Albert Einstein could stop wandering as a ghost and RIP. To which the Patti took a very firm stand in her belief and responded with a “silly kid, world was created in the Dance of Lord Shiva” (a Vague but almost close translation of the tamil statement), what is ironic about all this is, the ultra modern State-of-the-art CERN lab has on its porch The statue of Lord Shiva unfolding the Universe in his Dance of fury (from the Hindu mythology); the respect shown by the CERN labs is in absolute contrast to the Guy staring down at the old patti in mock disbelief.

What I want to point out here is the Patti’s belief in Myth is as good as the Grandson’s Faith in science. No answer is too simple to be pushed away, science is as much of assumptions as myths are of imagination, I am a self declared atheist yet in tight situations and close calls I turn to the higher power, we all do, too proud to announce it though. May be one way of showing the power some respect is by accepting that a power may exist, even by stressing the “may” with Caps and Italics(like “MAY”, or “MAY”) it still is showing respect , when theists go to temples and churches, and show their devotion an Atheist declares his respect to the Gods with Caps lock and Italics(Time for some fireworks ).

In many ways those who believe in the Gods and higher power have more resolve than the Boson lovers, for the guy was sad for a week when it was proved the particle might not be Higgs Boson afterall but the Patti after all her long years and wilting appetite was gearing up for the Navarathiri celebrations and doll selections in homage to the Higgs Boson of her World.

conpusions of India (literally :P)

2012-10-23T02:42:00.000-07:00

We as the world’s biggest democracy has seen so many elections and so many leaders, our economy has reached new peaks, and we do claim to be the oldest of the civilizations that stands in par with The Egyptians and Sumerians, when the Europeans were hunting for their food, we were building ships and trading with the east, with such history one would expect us to be in the top of the food chain, The Big brother status of USA should only do us less credit, let us put such deserving thoughts aside for a while; I happened to witness the Presidential debate of the USA for the first time(Of course in TV) and was left in astonishment by the decency displayed by both the candidates and was even more baffled the next day to see the American news papers lashing out at them for certain remarks made and at the Moderator especially for not controlling the debate very well.

The Reason why me in the first place presumed the debate as decent was because of my expectation of witnessing hair pulling and chair throwing which are the unique identities of an Indian Parliament session; A day without which any chosen public representative of Indian legislature will consider it his day off, A wasted day. Now let me come to the first point of the post, considering our long history as a society are we not supposed to love our fellow beings a little more? If given a chance should we not try and make the lives of our fellow beings a little better? We boast an economy growing faster than the Americans isn't it about time that no Indian sleeps with out his day’s bread, Isn't it about time that each Indian writes and reads his own post card to his family(I happened to help an illiterate guy to write a letter at a post office, Didn't make me happy at all) and decide on his own, his vote.

Now again to the Presidential debate of the USA; When I saw Romney and Obama argue I saw two fellow Americans competing to help their country men, They both believe that the other guy cant do as well as himself, at least that is the posture they must maintain in order to win and to continue office, How hopeless it is to hope for at least a posture, a gesture of doing good from the Indian politicians, I'm not scaling up to the levels of president or Prime minister(in the case of India), No, Not yet. can you question your Municipal Councillor ?? can a Indian point finger at his Municipal Councillor, no and Yet we call it a free nation.

P.S: After all Indians get arrested for drawing cartoons

Any bloke will find this post discontinuous, erratic but i had to vent out my frustration and I did, so if you are searching for something good to read i’d suggest not to try this one, well this warning probably should appear in the beginning but it isn't which only means I really don't care,

Bazingggggaaaaaa :) punks :P

This too shall pass.......

2012-01-29T00:49:00.000-08:00

The talk of the country right now is our defeat in the hands of England and Australia in cricket, So much patriotism, so much frustration, The defeat indeed is seen as a blow to the Indian pride, Well, I dont think I can speak against the collective mindset of a Billion strong Indian population but I still can write something in my unnoticed blog and hope no one reads it and if someone read, I then will hope they will overlook an individual’s arrogance as pointless as anna hazare’s fasting by weighing it against the stereotyped society.

It doesn’t frustrate us that Pakistan has a big chunk of our country occupied, that the Lankans shoot our fishermen like they do away with rabid dogs or the demand of Chinese that arunachal pradesh is theirs only based on the fact that their noses are similar :P, yeahh righttt, if we let them have arunachal pradesh they’ll then ask for patent on all the hutch dogs, claiming their origin should be in china considering their height, after all hutch dogs are the second best thing Indians like, falling behind only by a thread against the Zoo zoo dolls

But we are busy, pelting stones on cricket players’ homes, Curse them over our dinner tables for losing matches and at other times when they dont lose much, we read the statistics and claim we are the best team in test, 20-20, best team in reaching the stadium first, fair play award for not stealing lolly pop from a stranded child and do further more research for awards. At this point I get a doubt,” what is the difference between us and the MGR university that gave doctorate to our “Ilaya thalapathi” Vijay”, NONE is the answer and that seals our fate, we have no future whatsoever.

After Anna Hazare, and the cricket catastrophes and the Government’s indifference to both, came the movie “Nanban”; another week of stupid Facebook status msgs from Vijay fans I will have to put up with, can’t really complain on that, at least it serves for the purpose of Facebook; I tell to myself, “this too shall pass”

”Miseries that come my way are blown away but only by something even worse”

All we need to forget what’s going on right now is another storm in Orissa or an actress’ marriage, an Honest Indian would say he’d rather prefer the former :P. We can’t really blame them can we? As “V” puts it effectively, “If you want to know who is guilty, you need only to look in to a mirror”

P.S: I am no different than any other below average Indian mind, which I am. I start writing something and wander around to something else, But that cannot be helped, I write rarely and I ought to cover everything, bear with me.

Wind chime gardens.......

2012-01-11T05:19:00.000-08:00

Memories haunt and we dodge, life goes on, when walked long enough and once we turn around and search for the faces and moments, we find none; thats when the search for the lost memories start and they take it upon themselves to be as elusive as ourselves, for they are mere signatures of our lost past.

One might argue, to look back on memories is a pointless craving of an obsessed mind that can neither let go nor can move back since the commitments of the present are too valuable to lose, and I shall not counter argue;) the best thing about memories is they are chained with one other and a lone sit on your porch or a sip of a coffee on a ruined evening could trigger the reaction and worst thing about memories, the same.

The fall of the first domino, the fall of the last but I might stick with the wind chimes, too many metaphors are too hard to handle. Walking through a garden of wind chimes is a head ache, only the melancholy it triggers goes so deep, unravels hidden desires, forgotten pleasures of childhood, one will only find it too hard to resist. As the bitterness of coffee is an addiction , memories too are of the same kind, as bitter they are, as much our heart treasures it.

I envy people who have the ability not to look at their past or remember anything related and be able to stay away from the whirlpool of memories as if its their second nature, I wish I could at the least pretend the way they are, only to protect my eroded pride but find it a herculean task and sometimes almost happy not to have mastered the art, for the 'Hi's and 'Bye's still fills my heart and even if eons have passed I could never forgive myself if I've forgotten a friend's face or the way he was.

People are prejudiced about their memories just as they are about people around, drawing lines on bad ones and good ones, in the end indifference is the key to greatness, to inner peace, you are made up of the bad ones as much as you are made of the good ones, a honest man might disclose it is only an excuse for our inability to dislodge the bad ones, memories and people alike.

All I can tell is, to your memories, be like a God; do not answer them, do not obsess with them and do not let them go,If it makes any sense are not, that I cannot comment.

P.S: My jurisdiction is limited to writing, not to make sense or to whatever everyone else do.

Tales of navalur...

2011-10-07T22:38:00.000-07:00

It is a war everyday in my mansion in navalur, on one side; me, my friends and tortoise or Allout probably and on the otherside our formidable enemies, The Mosquitoes assisted by the TNEB’s random powercuts. Its been a while I’ve become resistant to mosquitoes and fevers induced by mosquitoes just like any other Indian brought up in a suburban town but my new room mate who doesnt’t boast the same Might as myself came up with a new devise called a mosquito net which for two days almost proved effective but as it turns out mosquitoes found a way to break in to the expensive net that emptied his wallet and we the other guys who decided to wait and see if the net is effective found his lose to our common enemies very amusing.

For a lot of reasons I find navalur a very unsuitable place for living and trust me, mosquitoes are only the least of your worries when you are in navalur, for instance the roads that with the slightest drizzles becomes so much filled with muddy waters that makes one wonder if he should take a boat to office which seriously has been considered as a valid option more than twice after our evening gossip time.

Our food crisis is something I must bring to the table as an ardent eater and a very well known miser, I always find an optimum place to suffice the needs of my taste and to keep my wallet healthy and here in navalur up until yesterday I thought I was successful. Yesterday proved to be my worst nightmare, after pondering over the idea of ghee roast, I decided to give it a try but ended up smelling kerosene or something that smelled like kerosene all over my precious ghee roast. DOT to my love for ghee, the smell of kerosene is going to haunt me whenever I select Ghee roast from the menu.

And apart from all these unavoidable miseries of navalur, my mansion has a liking to strange people(to my friends:I’m not pointing at myself, Pls die) there was this guy who laughs when he sleeps and keeps his face in a strange posture that can scare any experienced ghost and make it scream its arse off, the guy came to be known popularly as “design designaa thoongaravan” and another guy who cleans his dinner plate as clean as any award winning dishwasher can with out using water and with his strange dressing sense and his liking to yellow and green came to be called as “ramarajan” :P.

I am not rude enough to suggest that there are no other places as disgusting as this, but I’m inclined enough to say by my three months stay that navalur is definitly in the race and ofcourse a very strong contender.

To anyone who have ideas of renting a room in Navalur I hope I’ve saved a few lives. And anyone who wishes to take up “New mens hostel”,please avoid room number:8,when there is power everywhere else, this room never fails to fail you and as a humble person who has stayed in that room for quite long I hate it from the core of my heart. and I have doubts that this room is haunted… :’(

Horizon of the caged birds.....

2011-08-11T23:45:00.000-07:00

It is the caged birds that knows the value of the freedom the most, to have the wings and a heart to measure the skies but not the freedom to do so can break anyone’s soul, this is what our ancestors had to go through; not for an year, not for a decade but for two centuries they’ve been scorched by the raging battles and the chains of slavery had bound them to the grounds .
To have fought a battle for so long takes more than just guts, more than the raw craving for freedom, to stand the ground and fight a century old battle and to win it saps out one’s life force and it requires one to pass on the spirit to the next generation, I dedicate this post not to the leaders of the freedom movement but to the commons who stood the ground and took the beating, whose names and faces never reached any real fame but only seen as shadows of the charismatic leaders.
They never knew there will be a 15th august, they probably thought they were fighting a never ending battle and what might have been a mirage could have demoralised anyone but not this bunch of half starved illiterates which is what makes them the great men as they fit to be.
To those common people’s past we will dedicate the future of our country, any success we attain in the present and future is built over their past and the bloodshed. It is by remembering them, we shall rest their souls in peace.

Mission Impossible................

2011-06-13T09:13:00.000-07:00

To compensate for our lack of spirit to deal with terrorists or for not having a heart for war,
We should really start making new strategies, IPL for an instance has given us a lot of strategies, when there is a crisis between India and Pakistan, we should reach a mutual agreement for joint auctioning of military and political personnels and India should buy the pakistan military general and president too, ofcourse if the price tag is affordable, but honestly speaking given to their limited wit and impotency(in actual combat) it cant be more than what owners paid for the cheapest IPL player(i have no idea who it is) and I really dont think Pakistan can afford our military generals and president or our prime minister since even our dumb wit MPs are worth 1000 of crores on their own and in an auction Pakistan will have to mortgage their remaining lands to America, I mean if there is anything left.
If we Tamils can accept Dhoni as CSK's captain, we Indians can accept an auctioned Zardari or kayani which is only a broader perspective:P and they can amuse us with their anecdotes about the art of playing double agent,peace in India, strike 1.
While the above strategy solves the problems in the subcontinent, we should do something about America's troubles with al-queda, after thinking it through I came up with an even easier strategy; we replace the "b" with "s" in the name,"obama", now how can al-queda ever have the heart to attack a country run by a person named Osama, atleast it will help the arab countries to feel a bit less threatened, which in turn will keep the crude oil prices at bay, world peace, thats strike 2.
And finally the major obsession of the UPA government over nuclear power plants, all the cabinet ministers and the primeminister and the head of the NAC, ms.Sonia gandhi should take turns living near a nuclear reactor or its even better if they run one in their own backyard, so as to prove their point on the safety of the radiation levels and to convince every other Indian citizen on the same, if they are not okay with it, its only fair a common citizen feels not okay with a nuclear reactor near his residence, and thats strike 3.

P.S: and yes, I do believe the crack down on ramlila maidhan is the modern day Jalian wala baag, and a sensitive chord of "right to expression" has been torn apart from the land which invented fasting as a way to protest.

cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate.....

2011-05-03T14:39:00.000-07:00

Now that Osama is dead, citizens of United states shall sleep without fear, not that they weren't sleeping well all these days but death of such a fearsome terrorist is an added luxury just like having your own jacuzzi ;)(eppudiii). And obama will be very much relieved since there were speculations so dumb that he will be soft on Osama for their name's sake ;)(too dumb, even to my standards) and the timing of his death i should say is well doctored, US has already explained how the questioning of the detainees in guantanamo has helped to pin down the mujahideen, and now wikileaks stir on Guantanamo bay can be kept in check. As any tamil guy would say, "ore kallula rendu manga" :P
And our brothers of the past, pakistanis never fail to give us a hearty laugh, now by screaming that the proximity of the luxury residence to the high profile military academy is "unbelievably accidental" and as always his highness mr.Manmohan singh will find time to acknowledge the lie, in another cricket match most likely and this too might evoke jealousy in lankan sports minister's heart so he might claim the world cup since they won the toss fair and square but of course in the controversial second toss , nevertheless, i believe they deserve the cup with a crucial toss win.
On a more serious note, death of a terrorist such as Osama, is one less threat but more hatred and malicious intent planted in the hearts of his followers for desperation to avenge is the most lethal of all weapons. Its better to prepare for the worst rather than chasing the next al-quaeda head for another decade.
India on the other hand has taken a vow of silence; as a govt, on the issues of tamils, iraq and libya and wherever US is involved and as a prime minister the vow of silence has an extended list of A.Rasa, Kanimozhi, S-Band, Adarsh housing and endosulphan and God knows what more to come, so definitely we should be doing fine with out any external threats or any chance of more Osamas swarming on us, may be a veerapan-like terrorist and few naxals are a possibility but nothing our P.Chidambaram cannot handle.Its about time The USA, Pakistan and China understands the advantages of having a finance minister for internal affairs ;)(so much for experiments on UFOs, for a change try this)

And honestly I believe India should condemn the US intervention on pakistan's grounds atleast for the heck of it.
How else are we going to grow a spine.. :):)

P.S:Forgive me if I've somewhere swapped Obama for Osama or vice versa, absolutely not intentional ;):)

With renewed faith and hope........

2011-04-19T07:24:00.000-07:00

I never have had any illusions about revolutions neither have i ever had any respect for such foolishness, for revolutions have always been a result of a bunch of kindered souls not necessarily enlightened, it takes not more than a promise of bread and honor to win there trust, a wise man with eloquence and a little respect for his fellow beings will always be successful in initiating a revolution.
But with neither eloquence nor an intriguing personality and not even being a communist Anna hazare might actually get his name etched in history, his fasting was not out of suppression but of pure frustration about the current system which was set off with appointment of Sharad pawar as head of a body for anti corruption; another sick joke congress played on Indian citizens.
No wonder Congress wants blood now, having nothing to complain on the fair requests the game of defaming starts with sudden releases of videos and old files hitting the media.
another curious factor is the distance BJP and other parties trying to maintain from anna hazare and no opposition party has still openly supported the movement as they all are very well aware if one goes down their turn to go down is round the corner. When winning the polls only requires honesty and clean hands i wonder why no political party is ready to employ such an easy strategy.
Amidst all the scandals of spectrum, commonwealth and s-band, There could never be a better timing for an independent body for anti corruption with sky high powers.
Anna hazare may not be a hero, but he has done what everyone of us were itching to do when the need presence itself which usually never happens and thats why people stand behind him in masses.
The only blockade for the bill now is the parliament and i have a serious doubt if the lok pal bill will survive but from now on before planning a loot, any politician will think twice, that's where a new beginning dawns.
It is indeed a historic moment.

Tactical show down....

2011-04-05T07:04:00.000-07:00

Its the convenience of Democracy that fancy gimmicks and a few lies can win the polls, and of course one can't deny the involvement of voter's forgiveness and amnesia and the lack of choices.
Indian voters are usually blessed with two options, one being a corrupted party and another being most corrupted, dictating us to go for the less harmful one.
But our rulers never fail to reach new lows, what DMK invented during last elections, a strategy based on bribery but polished on the top to make it look like development schemes is a new record depth. when a party promises televisions and grinders for free another party promises everything for free, is there any less depth they can sink to.
what is on the store for us is a hopeless country with people surviving on freebies with their only duty is to vote every five years and all that is left for the few of us who have some sense is The frustration of not having any other options and The nostalgia of the past when leaders molded an economy out of nothing.

They've opened a Pandora's box, what follows is a chaos of mixies, grinders, goats, fans and a lot more.

Dawn of a new era......

2011-02-16T01:30:00.000-08:00

We are going to miss the good old days when the politicians and govt. officials held the monopoly over corruption, it is only fair that scientists have taken their place in the queue to have found a way to the hard earned money of the already exploited citizens of this God forsaken land, after all this is an era of science.
The whole scam may be a hoax, an election stunt to shun the clean name of the ruling Congress but one only knows too well to come to such a presumptuous conclusion and having scraped the deal with Devas ISRO has proved that their indeed a problem exists. Being under the direct authority of the Prime minister Mr.Manmohan singh previously recognized as “The clean Man” whose reputation is now under serious scrutiny with the scams flying all around, this issue is adding up to his miseries with out proper answers being returned.
Indian citizens have always been very proud about the achievements of our scientists, the leap we’ve taken in the field of space science and nuclear power in a short duration of independence and financially unsatisfied economy, with the need for development pitted against limited resources ISRO has proven its steel only too often. Our scientists have always been looked upon as Great men and of course they are great men. But it is no secret, being Great men they have a Great responsibility to remain beyond the line of doubt, to not to disappoint the half starved Indian populace for providing the funds apart from their already strangled monthly budget; those few great men are indebted to these commons.
It doesn’t take a political genius to say a scam of such level could not have been possible with out the Govt’s hand in it, given to congress’ reputation of being the fore bearers of corruption from the days of bofors to the 2G scam only with a scale-up of a mere 70 crores as in bofors to a striking 1.76 lakh crores in 2G and now with all probability they will be taking the stats to a new record high and so it never shocks a common man to expect such unexpected from a politician or a party, but it is the ISRO’s involvement which raises concerns about our already tainted future.

To be loyal to their own conscience is not everyone’s privilege but it is what you ought to do when a billion hearts beats at rhythm for your success in everything you do from a satellite launch to a moon mission. It is ISRO’S duty to clear its name or at least to offer an apology and an explanation to the tax payers.

God Save Us All

Need For A Future: Public Class Communism extends Democracy

2011-02-05T10:45:00.000-08:00

Doesn’t matter who or what(men or a principle) but there was something always ruling over us, We always needed someone to direct us in the right path or at least we assumed it that way but in the end people always understood their assumptions where nothing but uncertain, miscalculated presumptions which failed miserably.
I never understood how an idea like communism could fail just like that, given to the revolutions and the so many goals they achieved in a short period people would have guessed the idea of “world revolution” would at least be in effect for a short period, at the least it will gain some momentum but nothing of the sort happened even the mighty USSR collapsed with simple coup de tats.
I never understood anything until I decided to write a post on the topic, the reasons and solutions suddenly started popping out from no where which I can honestly say is a coincidence, but to explain things in detail I will just stick to the reasons for the fall in this post.
How can an idea that represents and favors the majority of the populace can fail, there must be a mistake or an error somewhere or there is a chance that there are errors everywhere.
The ideas that formed the base of communism as important as collectivization were implemented with out any pre-calculations which proved fatal as farmers who were the very base of the countries in which industrial revolution was yet to be established lost their lands to the govt and were forced to depend on the govt was a death blow to their self respect and people started looking for an opportunity to break free, we all are well aware that communism was nourished and fed well by the bad deeds of the rulers of then Russia (tsars) and other rulers of European countries so naturally people detested monarchy but then the communist rule led to nothing but the same. In the end communism was the reincarnation of monarchy, dictatorship based on its revolutionary ideals.
One of the most famous quote about communism by a person I forgot whom “people will work based on their abilities and will be served based on their needs” it was unacceptable by the hard workers as their work was enjoyed by some one else merely by the fact that their needs were more. This lead to new confusions as people had new ideas of how to stop working and increase their needs by other means which we know are world famous. Economic break down which affected the masses In no way mattered to the rulers since communism doesn’t consider or give weight to individuals but see the state as a single organism and people as cells that keep the organism alive and sacrificing a few cells only meant replacements are on the way but the cycle failed to cease. Eventually some of the few successful communist countries adapted some capitalistic principles when it came down to the matter of survival
Solutions to all these problems are actually simple but were never tried as leaders always succumbed to power, the very prospect of having the ultimate power in their hold is like a drug that keeps them in a trance, in a state of euphoria which they never wanted to let go of their hands.
Instability was another major reason since the power lays in a single person number 2’s, military generals, all kind of officials started looking for opportunities to gain power.
The solution is a society which has all the positives of the communism and capitalism but none of their negatives. A society strong enough with an economic net that will help out all the unfortunates, a place where people can live with out fear of coup de tats and dictators which are typical of communism and at the same time the sluggishness of a common democratic country would be dealt with communism. A government based on democratic communism one where we give priority to evolution not to revolution, a government which will not rule over people but will take care of its people. It’s not something we dream tonight and implement tomorrow, let us calculate the odds, then recalculate and again recalculate, leave some room to make changes.

P.S:
I will try to give my practically not possible solutions to bring about the necessary changes in my future posts. I’m not making any promises here.

down it comes......

2010-10-18T04:04:00.000-07:00

I wonder why Monsoons are looking sad these days, I always thought Fall is the saddest of all but suddenly I had a change of heart which does not occur very often, when I was walking through a rain.
It looks like Monsoons have something to hide, as if they are ashamed to let it out and that’s why they cry the feeling off, the thunder and all the rumbling are like the anger of a hungry child, like how it starts shouting and all the mess it creates to convey the message to its mother. The message that is obvious only to the mother.
It follows a pattern which is unpredictable, how ironic.
The handsomeness with which it came down reminded me of the first walk of a cousin of mine, "a drop here and a drop there" and then starts with full flow, washes away the dirt off the roads synonymous to how a meaningful smile from a friend washes away the sadness from our hearts. No matter how sad the rains look getting drenched in a rain always makes me happy will only be an understatement since I have nothing else to look forward for in my fellow beings, their predictable nature only brings disappointment, but then i am the same as them.
I have this habit of looking at all those phenomena and non living things as anthropomorphic entities which gives me the privilege of assuming what they think and to explain how their behavior supports our views since they have not the ability to argue against us and for which I am very thankful to them and awfully comfortable in using them.

void.....

2010-08-19T01:48:00.000-07:00

The death of stars is where the black holes are born, the most beautiful of nature's creations becomes a hole of despair; it traps light in between the infinites of eternity the space that is so vast where the speed of lights looks as if it is still. The stillness so calm like death itself, where we can hear our own heart beats and holds on to them.
Imagine a lightning that stays still on the skies as if it’s a photograph, the smile of the skies caught between the earth and endlessness, the beauty of power it etches upon our souls with which it pens down the song of the Gods, the magnetic storms where the spectrum of lightening is not limited to white alone but something that peeks in to the white and those threads which are shredded in to every possible bit
The mightiness of the space and the oceans is what shows us the meaninglessness of life. The morality we praise so much and our existence before this infinity looks so irrational almost as if it’s close to nothingness.
Can nothingness be quantified? i guess not, in that case what is the term "almost close to nothingness" means.
every measurement we make is relative, which in turn makes our existence relative to the vastness that lies beneath. can we be neglected or are we actually neglected by the rest of the universe. who knows the answers.
The vacuum of the Universe holds more meaning than the material existence of life since life itself was born from nothingness and disappears with no sign of whatever form again in to nothingness.
i believe when you are able to solve the puzzles of the universe, you would have understood that they are not meant to be understood

p.s: for now let us look forward to the solar storm that is due in 2012 :)

Theory of living and non living things…..

2010-05-27T08:57:00.000-07:00

Whenever I say ‘we’ in this post it refers to all living organisms, from a single celled mo to the biggest mammal, and ‘they’ will refer to all non living things

Why do we move, why do we do whatever we usually do, is it because we want to do it or is it because of the relative position of other objects and things and what is happening around us or are we doing everything on our own will??. I do not understand why I thought about this, may be because my college life is over and I don’t have anything else useful to do. Never mind, I’ve decided to write a post on this.

Consider this case, I am moving my hand to get a glass of water, you may say I am doing this because I am feeling thirsty but if I feel thirsty I am suppose to drink some water why do I move my hands. I move my hands because the glass of water is there, so my movement is dictated by the position of a non living thing (glass of water) okay let us get a little deep in to the concept, why is the glass of water there if someone had kept it there then my movement is dominated by a living thing right?? It flaws the whole theory but then again why would some one keep a glass of water there, may be because of the presence of a table and the rule that a glass of water should be on the table and not some where it could be toppled accidentally, and the table is there because the actual place where it was thought to be set is occupied by the refrigerator for argument. And after drinking the water I get up to refill It because the jug of water is not near enough and why didn’t my mom keep the jug on the table??, because it was filled with my books and my laptop which would be severely damaged on exposure to water
So in the end the glass, jug, laptop, books, refrigerator and water has dominated and has dictated what I do for a minute or two…

What if we are all non living things and they are all living things and we are doing there bidding with out our consciousness
And after all these non living things are older than us and have been our ancestors, their level of intelligence should be far beyond our comprehension.
It is not like I want it to be that way but there is always a possibility.
Okay, let us scale up to a bigger case,
Why do we do our works at day and sleep at night, isn’t it because of the presence and absence of sunlight and rotation of the earth
And consider agriculture, what we cultivate depends on the nature of the land and our food habits in turn depends on the land we live, our dressings depends on the climatic conditions.
And we call ourselves the intelligent ones and have developed a pride based on the idea that we decide the fate of everything else around, when the reality is nothing we do are actually what we want to do, most of the things we do are what we need to do.

And finally what if global warming is meant to happen, what if we are suppose to heat up the atmosphere by doing all the insane things we do.. What if all the factories and automobiles that do the job are not really working for us but for them
E.g.: It is known that using air-conditioning systems and refrigerators result in green house gas emission and why do we use them?? In order to reduce temperature from the actual one and why do we have to reduce it?? Because the temperature is above the tolerance limit of some of us so that we will use other means to cool ourselves and in the process will release the so called green house gases.

Things are never what they look like; our powerlessness hidden behind our pride.
Always respect what we find around us. May be they are our masters….

Rendezvous with The God.....!!!!

2010-04-10T08:37:00.000-07:00

I have a thousand questions to ask, that’s what I told him, the divine look he gave I wasn’t sure if he’ll answer so I thought I’d better ask him if he will answer but I was worried since if he decide not to answer then this will be the first question that will be left unanswered but still there is no use waiting Its better to try and abandon hopes if he doesn’t answer…
And I was afraid if questioning the ultimate power will be accounted as a sin but my curiosity was overwhelming and also I was so sure according to my theories God was the top sinner since he created everything with imperfection even as a member of this intelligent species which named itself homosapiens, I am imperfect in my mind and i am telling myself I have questions to ask the creator and basically it is his fault, if he had jus been a little careful I wouldn’t have these many questions and if he had been much careful he wouldn’t have created us in the first place for which I’m sure he regrets now and if he does not then its just a matter of time, so I’ve made up mind and here I go ….
I asked him, “hey, are you The God???” shit what a stupid question to ask The God, of course he is The God jus see the smile in his face , I said to myself … but if he is God what actually is he doing down here and suddenly I was aware my question was still unanswered, so the first question as I feared has been a waste and I’m one down and only 999 more questions to go, is that his usual behavior or my stupid question might have caught him of guard after all if I was God and when someone asks me if I am God I will not reply because being a/The God I cannot afford self advertisement, now I’m really sure he is God, which human being will deny if he is asked by someone if he is God, will a human be stupid enough to remain silent no not a chance, a human would have said yes and demanded as much as he can and took me as his slave, Thank God he was actually God. With all this thoughts swirling around my little brain I had forgotten him and I looked up… and I’m privileged he was actually staring at me. A rendezvous with The God and I’m standing like a idiot how dumb I am people will die for an opportunity like this, no no actually its not my fault God must have made me dumb with his power may be he fears my questions, yes that’s it, this is the only possible explanation what else can make me dumb when i have so many questions and doubts, i turned back started to my home standing here is no use after all, instead I can go home and tell every one how I tackled God with my questions and with little luck I can make them believe…… because God is not going to come and defend himself he is The God and i am a human i must work hard to exploit whatever the situation offers and i think if this is working out this way then it just means God intended this to happen as how it had happened
this din go well i wish i have an other chance...

is atheism the answer ??????

2010-03-15T08:48:00.000-07:00

I’ll start this post with my favourite quote “ if there is a God atheism must seem to him as less of an insult than religion” the punch line if u have failed to note is “if there is a god” which is a long argued controversy… one of my friend oscillates between extroversion and introversion  , when I come to think of it I figured out that I too have a floating mind but only in the case of the God, a mind that oscillates between theism and atheism for which I never managed to find an answer and for which now I ve decided ther cant be a precise explanation and even if ther is an explanation it will be of no importance now, as whoever this God person is seems to have lost interest in the current events, or may be he needs a battery recharge r something(a joke).
Human beings have never believed in anything that they cant understand or wat they cant see with their eyes but still the majority of people are theists atleast partly, when I tried to explain this anomaly to myself i understood that this is because God is a profitable asset as long as people believe ther is some one watching over taking account of everything we do they try to keep their sins to a forgivable amount which finds application in the law and order department especially in a country like India, and of course ther r priests in all religions who earn their everyday bread by washing our sins away and spending time speaking to God …. Our dear nithyananda and a whole lot of their kind will definitely agree with me on profitability of Mr.God.
Human mind works based on mathematics, the decisions it makes are expected by the mind to carry a higher probability of success, the belief of god is also based on a risk benefit factor, consider this two cases in the first case you don’t believe in god and by a chance he is actually out ther somewhere here comes the risk… and in the second case you believe in god u r profited if he s ther and you don’t loose anything if god is a false hypothesis, now our mind works out all the possibilities and decides that the most profitable option is the correct one.
Whichever is correct, I wish we should all with out consideration to our beliefs deserve to be protected from the kind of theists we know who….
Atleast as long as this God person comes in person and corrects his mistakes…