tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55803477459560466592025-01-16T17:51:12.750-06:00Focussed on Stupid.Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.comBlogger109125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-78553918478913401032024-05-21T22:38:00.000-05:002024-05-21T22:38:24.834-05:00

 With eyes of crimson and bodies black as tar, they scream incessantly in coordinated waves, tormenting all living souls. Cicadas...each individual is but a part of the demonic collective, one that exhibits signs of a bad mood after being buried in dirt for thirteen years.. Now, the collective has surfaced, escaped from its earthen sarcophagus to rage aloud, to spread word of the

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-22835152402800824662023-10-14T06:13:00.001-05:002023-10-14T06:13:30.877-05:00

It's been a long time since we've posted anything here, and we have a very good reason for that. The reason is none of anyone's business, but it is a very good one. If it was any of your concern, we could tell you the reason we've been gone so long and you would be like; "Oh wow! That is a very good reason. One of the best I've ever heard."But alas...not your concern. So, what brings us

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-67171211641046635522018-03-29T21:56:00.000-05:002018-03-31T14:39:24.464-05:00

As I've ascended the ladder of success, I've crossed paths with many wise folks who have provided advice, encouragement, and inspiration to me.  But perhaps the most inspiring inspiration and the wisest wisdom I received came from the late great Marcetius H. Davies III.  He was a contrary old cuss most of the time. Generally, when he talked he was angry and grumbling about something or

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-83251926043029524902017-09-16T09:20:00.000-05:002017-09-16T09:20:06.824-05:00

You are doing some things at work that are going to kill you completely dead.  If you are okay with that, you can stop reading this right now. Since you are still reading, it means that you, like many Americans, do not want to be killed completely dead.  (You'd prefer somewhere between not-quite-dead and slightly injured, I guess). This is good, because that means you have NOT

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-46152382145569457072016-12-31T09:08:00.001-06:002016-12-31T09:08:57.946-06:00

Rather than the typical review of the year that was, We thought it would be a unique and original idea (which will now be copied by most everyone in the media) to look at the year to come.  Never mind where we've been, it's where we're going that counts.  If we walk looking backwards, we might run into a pole or a homeless person. Better to keep focussed on the road ahead.  Those

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-79456823132081823342016-12-24T10:33:00.001-06:002016-12-24T10:53:24.757-06:00

1. Wait until at least 11am to start drinking, unless you still have to run toWal-mart.  In that case, giddyup.2. Avoid Wal-mart.3. Get Grandma a gift so her disapproving stare doesn't haunt you all year again.4. Do NOT, under any circumstances, use the words "dry" and "ham" in a conversation with your mother.5. When someone gives you a gift, try responding with "thank you" instead of  

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-15772319162787965782016-11-03T07:12:00.001-05:002018-04-01T09:36:20.493-05:00

Here's a weird sentence: The Chicago Cubs are World Champions.  Here's another one: Congratulations to the Chicago Cubs.And one more:  Finger monkey slushies never want raisins on whole wheat.Okay,  that last one is really weird.  And off topic.  However,  all three of them are rarely written.  The first two I made up all by myself.  The last one is from

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-12020618855079843962016-03-24T19:56:00.000-05:002016-03-24T21:58:52.168-05:00

Rumors are fun. I'm not sure how they start but when one gets momentum it seems to travel the world in a day.  The really good ones usually involve some major product or brand that people love and use all the time.  And they're usually designed to scare the ever-lovin-bejeevers out of the average housewife. I would just like to share a few of the rumors that I've heard told by assholes

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-2248892252863738642015-12-06T08:35:00.001-06:002015-12-13T15:17:46.329-06:00

We all have those people in our lives who seem to have everything.  We often struggle this time of year to come up with a gift for these people.  We squint our brains, for lack of a better term, to peer into their lives, trying to find something we can offer that would be of use or have some sentimental meaning to them. At the very least we hope to get an honest "Thanks" or "Oh that's..

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-38279976190098078062015-05-20T22:59:00.001-05:002015-05-20T22:59:18.314-05:00

8:00am:  I arrived at the courts building along with several hundred other "randomly-selected" citizens, all eager to become cogs in the wheel of justice.  A sense of civic pride welled up in me as I made my way to the check-in desk.  The woman behind the counter was friendly.  I smiled at her and refrained from making any kind of a scene.  It's too early for

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-86881700384112502862015-04-04T22:00:00.001-05:002015-04-15T20:13:25.152-05:00

Ruin what?  How about dinner with a group of friends?Sure.  That's easy.  First, know everything. It doesn't matter if the conversation is about the weather or sports or politics or leafy greens or quantum physics.  Know it all.  You'll obviously have to fake it, but that's fine.  However, you can't expect to ruin dinner with a group of friends if you don't share

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-8687836333243683472015-02-02T22:01:00.001-06:002015-02-02T22:01:54.967-06:00

Let's pretend you're employed.  How do you go about remaining so?  For some of you the answer is: you won't.  What I am about to share is not for you.  It's also not for children, pets of any kind, rocks, witches, migratory birds, single-celled organisms, or giants.  This information is strictly for people who can pretend they are employed, and additionally, have the

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-81299554655178428392014-11-17T23:14:00.001-06:002014-11-18T06:45:02.603-06:00

Maybe you didn't answer the phone when a buddy called with tickets to the big game, and by the time you called him back he had given them to that asshole Chad.Maybe you had a great idea but didn't act on it and later you discovered that some other smart son of a bitch went ahead and invented the thing you though of first, and he is making a bunch of cash from it.Perhaps you were not chosen for a

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-84011893092720543822014-10-19T09:19:00.001-05:002014-10-20T19:03:51.959-05:00

When you waste time, you should try to be as efficient as possible. I know I've written about this before but I didn't waste enough of my time on it, and neither did you.Given the relatively small amount of time we are able to devote to wasting in a given day, wouldn't it be smart to use it wisely?  Wouldn't it be wise to be smart about it?  If you could squeeze even more nothing in

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-32070204217007620272014-10-10T14:05:00.001-05:002014-10-13T20:46:59.438-05:00

Oh hell yeeeyah! I finally get to do that one thing I believe I was born and sent here to do.  Well, no.  There are closer to fifteen reasons I was born and sent into your life.  But this is just one of them, and I haven't gotten to do this for several days.  Before I tell you what it is, allow me to toy with you for a long time first.  I can give hints if you want. &nbsp

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-56492819147690043662014-08-20T22:45:00.001-05:002014-08-20T22:48:54.669-05:00

It seems like something is missing from my desk.  The top drawer.  Its completely gone! Oh wait.  No.  There it is.  Someone must have put it back right when I said that.I better make sure everything is still in there.  Hmmmm.  There's my box of paperclips.  Why do I even have those?  I wish I had a magnet.  Paperclips and magnets make for

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-86671339795912018582014-04-14T19:32:00.001-05:002014-05-08T21:21:43.551-05:00

Some announcements:Fletch Cumberbun has been appointed chancellor of the third-shift production team bowling league.  He doesn't know what he's doing, but at least he's sober sometimes.Effective today, no live chickens will be sold in the company store.Last week we set a new company record for days without a workplace stabbin'.  The previous record of two days had stood for almost 14

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-21680380657557445732014-03-22T22:55:00.001-05:002014-03-24T21:16:06.354-05:00

He calls himself James W. Kransington. Most everyone else calls him James, or Jim.  His mom calls him Jimmy, his brother calls him Jimbo and that weird little greasy kid in the warehouse calls him "Jimmy K or the highway".  James used to work here. He left to start a different, much less successful fake company.  He thinks he's hot shit because he has a moustache and he can bench

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-13764006665179644922014-01-04T17:35:00.001-06:002014-01-08T07:35:04.669-06:00

This company has easily 130,000 different forms that must be completed just to order new ink cartridges for our printers.  I think we need one more.  Here's why:WE GOT THE WRONG CARTRiDGES!Stupid dumb ridiculous unacceptable bullshit.  Dumb! How can this happen?  If you struggling for an answer let me help you.  It rhymes with "Fincompetence".  (Ball=Dropped).We're

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-88865014913417975282013-12-31T23:41:00.001-06:002014-01-03T23:48:39.640-06:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR simple peasants with no fashion sense!  We are starting this thing off with a bang!  This is not a time to tell you what we want to do this year.  It's no time to be hopeful for improvement.  This is a time for confident and assured action.  In 2014, Crock Inc is going to relocate Saturn!   Yes, the planet.  We will bring it closer to Earth so it

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-21753924316790352852013-12-12T23:25:00.001-06:002013-12-13T20:49:44.236-06:00

A Public Service Announcement.Why anyone would want to run is beyond me, but I know some folks rather enjoy it.  Here is some advice for those people.  Some things to consider.  A reminder that safety is the key to safety.  Being safe is way less dangerous than being dangerous.  You runners know this.  That's why you'll print the list below and read it while you run

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-84448410351220235562013-10-21T22:26:00.001-05:002013-10-21T22:37:18.641-05:00

We've had funds tagged in the budget for over five years now but just haven't pulled the trigger.  We have assembled a diverse portfolio of "public servants" during that time.  Our balance sheet now boasts three mayors, fifteen counsel members from various cities, twelve county executives, and the entire school board of Brownstown, Illinois.  We also have invested in a couple of

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-32332355203852246332013-05-13T21:30:00.001-05:002013-05-13T21:54:16.017-05:00

If you pay attention, you will learn something. Actually, you'll have to pay tuition also, but they won't tell you that. And, if you aren't paying attention, they'll take your money for books too. You'll learn something alright; School is a scam. Get out while you can. Instead, Enroll in one of our summer camps. These incredibly condensed classroom and hands-on training programs are the

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-71378579264274981912013-02-04T03:04:00.001-06:002013-02-04T03:05:52.857-06:00

"No Mom! Not the Rustler jeans! Can't you at least get me Levi's?" We never had the good stuff as kids. We had stuff, but it was usually pretty shitty. Side note: I keep saying "we" but i really don't know who I'm talking about other than myself. For that matter I have no idea who I'm talking TO, so if you had shitty stuff as a kid, please raise your hand. Oh, I see most of us products of the

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5580347745956046659.post-27693828544229714892013-01-01T21:39:00.000-06:002013-02-04T05:54:25.404-06:00

Ok. First post, new year. Time to totally impress your sox out. Where to start? I have so much knowledge that I know. There are so many things I can teach you that it is difficult to relate them in any particular order. Lets make a list of the experiences and wisdom-inducing events in my cranial cortex medulla lobe. Of course, I'll want to end with the first thing that comes to mind. Since it is

Crock, Inc.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17968353726903890057noreply@blogger.com0