crocuses in march

moving on and Finding My Voice

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 20:24:00 +0000

Well, here's the big announcement... I've officially launched my NEW BLOG SITE, and I'm really hoping that if you've been hanging out with me here, you'll make the quick hop, skip and jump over to my new digs.

What will you find there, and why the move?

Well, I feel like it's a new season. Time to kick things up a notch, and be a little bit more true to myself. I'm sort of looking at this year as a 'coming in to my own', and just letting me be me. Or, as I describe it there...I'm "Finding My Voice".

I'll be doing less personal, anecdotal stories, and delving into some more serious topics involving faith, family, marriage, women's issues and leadership. Some of the posts here I've pulled over, and you'll still be able to find there, and I'll keep this site for the occasional personal stories that I might want to log...but I won't really be posting here on a regular basis.

I am really trying to grow the site, and expand my readership in hopes of getting lots of good dialogue going, and hearing from people of all different perspectives. If you'd be willing to share the link, or recommend the site, I would be so very appreciative. I'm also looking to expand my writing in general, so if you know of any opportunities that might be a fit for me, would you mind letting me know?

I'm really looking forward to pursuing these new things and seeing all this season brings!! Thanks for the time you spent hanging with me here, and I hope you'll join me on the flip-side!!

Here's the link (click on the pic below)...look forward to seeing you there!!!!

20 Things...Date Nights

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 03:29:00 +0000

Sorry for the delayed "Marriage Monday" post, arriving late on Tuesday. I've been hard at work trying to construct, decipher and unkink stuff over at the new site, which hopefully, I'll be holding the 'big reveal' for soon. In the meantime...here you go..."20 Things in 20 Years" as normally scheduled...

I love date nights. Need them. CRAVE them. Time alone to connect with my hubby. But they don't always quite live up to the romantic notions in my head.

Sometimes it's because the notions in my head are just too grande. Not every week can be sweep me off my feet romance fests. Let's face it...that's just reality. Most of the time, in fact, I have to make-do and be grateful for an hour or two of half-price (after 9 pm) appetizers at Chili's, because that's about the only time that is convenient to get away, and it's what fits the budget. Often, it doesn't feel like this is quite enough time, or because we are flying around doing stuff right up til the minute we dash out the door, it's not like we are relaxed, and conversation tends to revolve around the current (as in, happened an hour or two before) problems or issues or situations. It's not really the gazing into each others' eyes type dinner, where we talk about in depth matters or future plans and dreams. It's more like "who is going to be running this one to practice next week, and what days do we have appointments and meetings, and when on earth are we going to finally finish the bathroom project so we can get on to other things that need to be fixed and redone?!?!"

You know...those kinds of conversations.

While they are necessary, and far easier, frankly, to have when we are alone...they aren't the kind of connection-time that refreshes you both and reminds you why you love each other and are together to begin with.

While I still actually need those times on a very (read, *preferrably weekly*) basis...and all the moreso, I find, as our kids get bigger, schedules get crazier and it seems we have less time than ever to actually engage...on occasion, we still need the kind of dates that keeps the romance alive in a marriage.

Now, I'm not going to even attempt to tell you what kind of date this should be, because it varies enormously from couple to couple. Lisa TerKeurst wrote about this very thing last week in her blog post 'Valentine's Tips for the Misters' (which, you should really read, if you haven't...and maybe casually share with your 'mister')...what a great variance there is in what women (and, of course, men) appreciate and find fills up their 'love tank'. For some couples its a fancy night out on the town, and apparently for others it's a Duck Dynasty themed weekend...which, admittedly, I really don't get...but hey, whatever floats your boat!! But I can share with you what works for us...and maybe it will set you thinking about what it will be for you.

For us, some extended alone time, is absolutely key. By extended, I mean minimally one overnight would constitute as a great date night, and minimally 2-3 nights would constitute a getaway. Now, because of tight budgets, and lack of babysitters, for many people (including us in the course of our years) isn't always a possibility. But we do our best to get creative and make it work as much as we can. Getaways are far harder, but we try to at least a couple times a year (this doesn't have to be saved just for Valentines!) try to do a long date night, and at least 1 time a year (usually our anniversary) for a getaway. (Our big dream/goal is for a getaway quarterly. Not yet a reality, but we are working on it!)

Just this past weekend, we did a 'real' date night. The extended, overnight, take your time and don't rush because no one is waiting for you or texting you "When r u coming home???" (Yes, this is our currently reality.)

It was totally budget-friendly, because it was a stay-at-home date...one of our favorite kinds. We shipped the kids out to various places for overnight. (In reality, half of them already having plans to sleep over at friends is what inspired me to give Grammy a call and see if the other two youngers could come spend the night there.) This obviously, if you don't have grandparents, or aunts, or really close friends nearby that can keep them overnight, gets easier as the kids get older and are wanting to do sleepovers anyway.

After getting all decked out...because that's our preference and it makes the night feel more special, and amidst candlelight and some wonderfully relaxing music, we cooked dinner together. We had thoughtful, long conversations while we took our good sweet time eating and sipping our wine. We flirted, and danced a little, and ended the evening snuggling up and watching a movie...after we were all talked out. Because, keep in mind, the movie, nor the dinner, is the main event...the relaxing, the talking...the being present is. Don't rush.

Personally, I think the secret to making an evening like this happen is the 24 hours before the actual date.

I have to mentally (and physically) prepare...in ways like making sure the area of the house we'll be hanging out in is clutter free...free of any distractions or stresses. Not the whole house, mind you, as this would be an impossibility for me. But I just need things out of sight. SO...just being totally real here...if that means taking the baskets of laundry that hasn't been gotten to yet, and piling in on one of the kids' beds while they are away...so be it. If it means putting the entire stack of yet-to-be-sorted mail in a basket and putting it on the downstairs desk...so be it. They'll all still be waiting for me the next day. (Trust me, I know, because I've hoped that by the following morning they will have magically taken care of themselves...no such luck.)

But the point is...atmosphere. Ambiance. A distraction-free zone.

One time, years ago, when our entire house was overrun with toys, bouncy seats, exersaucers and sippy cups, and I only had the time and energy to clean one small room...I really straightened up our tiny bedroom, filled it with candles, and set up a tiny little folding table...and served dinner right there. We shut the door...and shut out all the realities...and had a mini-escape for a few hours. And it was wonderful. And memorable. More memorable than all the dinners out before or since. Because it was special. Unique. And invested. We invested in making it be set apart from the every day.

We prepare mentally by thinking about the time, and about conversations that have been shorted-circuited just when they were 'getting good', or about books we are reading, or podcasts we've been listening to and wanted to tell one another about. We pointedly focus our thoughts on something deeper than appointments and bills. We send texts to each other throughout the day, saying how much we are looking forward to the time...and...*ahem* other niceties.

I'm 100% convinced that it's the investment in the preparation for the event, almost as much as anything, that makes our time together so good. And when we don't invest the time, it usually comes off as, "Eh...that was ok..." It's pretty much the idea...'you get out what you put in'. You put in good effort, you get good return. And it's SO worth it.

I'm hoping in the next few weeks, leading up to Valentine's, to share with you some date ideas...and maybe you can try something new to refresh the connection with your spouse. I'm also looking for ideas that YOU have tried, that maybe I could pass on to others as well.

So, please comment and tell me about what you find to do that makes for great date nights!!

the little blonde with blueberry eyes

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Tue, 15 Jan 2013 06:00:00 +0000

Almost weekly, as I play piano and sing with our worship team, I am reminded why I need to step up, and into, all that God has called me to be, and that if I pull back, if I shy away, there will be an effect. Not a huge, life-altering effect, mind you…but an effect none the less. My life…and yours…speaks a message. We may, or may not, know who we are ‘speaking’ to.

I know one person my life is speaking to.

Not because she tells me, but because nearly every week, as I’m worshiping, I glance out, and am grabbed by her watching gaze. I feel very aware that as I speak forth words of encouragement, or pray, or give myself to abandoned praise, there is a set of the the biggest, bluest eyes fixed on me, taking in my words, my actions. I sometimes am gripped by the sense that she is a little girl, who, unlike myself, is growing up seeing women all around her respond to their God-given call to lovingly co-reign with men in the Kingdom of God. Seeing women who, yes, give birth and cook and clean…but also create, debate and preach. We are not only the women who meet for “Ladies’ Bible Study”, but who also wrestle the word of God with the men, and deliver it to the congregation of brothers and sisters with equal authority and passion. We are living this concept of co-heirs to a next generation in ways that previously were not familiar to me.

And these eyes…these big blueberry eyes…watch, I imagine, with thoughts of how God will use her. Where she will one-day take her place in ministry to the Body of Christ. Will she teach? Will she sing? Will she intercede? Will she minister to the physical needs of someone hurting?

Of course, I know that my life actually speaks to many, on different levels, as all our lives do. My life speaks to my own children, but to my chagrin, they see the convoluted, struggling side of my journey. They hear my pleas of “can we just not mention to _____ that I am a pastor, pleeeease??”. They see me pull back from conversations where I think my input is not necessarily welcomed. They see me in my moments of brokenness and frustration. And I do realize, all these things will form…for the good or the bad…some parts of them. I pray often that God’s grace will cover my shortcomings in these areas. That he will use my weakness to bring strength to them in some way. They see me in the messy, everydayness of life.

But the little blonde with the blueberry eyes…she sees me a bit differently, I think.

I have to add, this little one and I also share a connection of ‘difference'. She, the only blonde among brunette sisters, same as I (she knows this, because her beautiful mama is my sister…so I tell her she gets her light locks from me). She, the only softball player among cheerleader sisters, knows about my own passion for baseball. I hope that maybe she senses from me that it’s okay to like things that might not be considered 150% girlie…the same way I feel about my interest in theological discussions and debates. She, I think, if I don’t chicken-out, can learn from me that it’s okay to wear pink and still show up to the “boys' club”.

And somehow, though I don’t know if she will ever preach or teach, or if her giftings lie elsewhere, she can learn from me to give yourself to whatever God calls you to, even if it’s a little bit different, with wholehearted passion…but only if I don’t pull back, shy away or give up.

Courage. Not just for me, but also for those little blueberry eyes watching me. You see, the things God calls us to are rarely just for us. There’s always those coming behind. Always someone else drinking in the message of our lives.

Who’s coming behind, and what are watching eyes learning from you?

Marriage Monday: 20 things...appreciate

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 16:13:00 +0000

Monday. I have oft joined the throngs who dread Mondays...return to routine, to work, to the rat race. But of late, and with many thanks to my protective knight in shining armor, Mondays have taken on a new tone for me. One similar to that of drawing in a long, deep breath. At least on the Mondays when I do what I'm 'supposed' to by making it a day to refuel myself. A guilt-ridden, yet healthy choice for me.

Guilt-ridden only because this is a luxury that I realize not everyone is afforded. And most of all, because when I see my husband needing such a reprieve probably even more than I...it's hard to not have twinges of feeling a bit spoiled.

My hard-working and amazing man goes all week long at his job, comes home and tries to make the most of his evenings engaging and caring for us, his family, and continues with the pace straight through the weekend as he attempts to keep up with the never-ending list of projects and to-do's that come with a house that had some design flaws from the start, and the family has outgrown, but we are ever-trying-to-make-it-work, because reality is, there's probably just not any other option right now. He also deals with all the situations, decisions and spats that I finally throw my hands up over and say, "Talk to your father!!" about. He runs interference between the two females in this house who increasingly are both 'coming into their own', which is all fine and well until our 'owns' don't mesh so smoothly. And then there's just me...he gets lots of point for just handling me with such love and understanding...because, though I'm sure you cannot imagine this, but I am not always the most loveable creature on the planet. ;)

So...what on earth does this have to do with marriage, or what I've learned over the years?

Appreciate.

It's huge. Seriously. I've argued with Todd about this idea of him insisting that I take Mondays 'off' to rest and refresh. And about how I struggle because I know it's not fair, because he doesn't have...ever...this kind of down time. And his answer to me is, that if I do it, it is better for me, which is better for him. He doesn't want my 'martyr' complex...he wants a healthy wife. And, honestly, doesn't feel any better if I burn myself out, especially in the name of 'fairness' to him. He wants me to take what he is trying to provide. He's not asking for anything in return. But while he's not asking for anything, I know that he does appreciate...well...appreciation!!

This goes both ways, of course. In my days of endless feeding, changing, and general tending of babies, there was often nothing Todd could really 'do'. But I would tell him that just his appreciation of what I was doing...recognizing and valuing it...soothed my worn-out mommy soul, more than he could imagine.

Sometimes it's about 'doing' less, and valuing more. Value each other. Value what you each uniquely contribute to your relationship and your family. Don't take for granted that you are 'entitled' to whatever it may be...'me time', meals prepared for you, date nights, the fact that he runs out for milk at 10 p.m. when you realize the kids need it for cereal in the morning (oh, wait...is that one just me?)...whatever. I've seen more than I care to of relationships that lack the things that I take for granted. Thing that I have tended to think "Well, he darn well better do such-and-such, that's a given!"...for countless wives (or husbands) are NOT a given. And maybe it's even fair to say certain things are just 'needs'...but that still doesn't mean that it shouldn't be appreciated when your spouse contributes, helps out, or takes responsibility for meeting those needs.

In short...remember to say thanks. To value each other. To acknowledge, not only mentally, but to each other, how grateful you are for everything your partner adds to your life. Oh, and while you're at it, thank the Giver of All Good Gifts as well, for the gift you have in your husband/or wife.

Appreciate. (And do it in a tangible way!)

What is one (at least) thing that you appreciate about your spouse? Tell me about it in the comments...and then tell them about how you bragged on them today!!

Seriously...do it!!

stay tuned!!

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 04:17:00 +0000

I am nearly giddy. Bursting with anticipation. Doing twirls and flips. Okay, maybe not so much that. But I am really, REALLY excited.

Unfortunately, I am under strict advisement not to disclose full details yet.

However...I can say for sure that some big changes are on the way for me. They involve a new season (unfortunately, not an actual, physical season...because on that note, I am SO ready for summer...yeah, summer!! I'd even be willing to skip spring. I want my flip flops!!)...a new chapter so to speak. A brand new day for my writing and communicating in this world wide web that I've grown so fond of, with all my bloggy friends and social media communities.

So pardon my dust, as I'm over here in my little corner of the web busily constructing. I'm actually building myself a new bloggy home, which I can't wait to have finished and fully furnished so I can invite you over for a visit. There's gonna be lots of fresh new things...a new look, new content, and hopefully lots and lots of new friends!!

(I will give you a few teasers, such as...I will be continuing with my 'Year of Courage' posts, and also my '20 Things in 20 Years' posts...which will fit into something I'll be calling 'Marriage Mondays'.)

My 'new home' will also be revealing a lot more about the 'real' me. I'm considering this the year not only of Courage, but by way that courage, a time of 'coming into my own'. I'm planning to just let 'er rip, with all the thoughts, opinions and beliefs that I've been holding back from speaking of here. Yes, that's right...I've been holding back. Fearing offending. Trying to keep things 'nice' and 'pleasant'. But, I kinda think that time is done for me...I've just got this feeling that I need to be free to be me... I'm hoping it will spark lots of responses, dialogue and really good conversations

I am expecting it to be quite a fun adventure, and hope you find it a refreshing bit of change.

Stay tuned...it won't be long now!!!

20 things...never assume

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Mon, 07 Jan 2013 21:15:00 +0000

This past November my wonderful, amazing husband and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. I've been thinking for some time about doing a series of posts about 20 things we have learned over these 20 years... It feels like a bit of a challenge, but I think I'll go for it. And, in the interest of not boring you into a coma, I'll even break them down, as opposed to one post that would take you 20 hours to read!!

I've had to determine that these things will not come in any particular order...certainly not order of importance. I couldn't even say that any certain one is more important than another. And I would also like to say up front...these are things that we have learned for us. The same may or may not apply or be true of you or any other given couple. But hopefully they might make you think a bit.

As I've been ruminating on this thought of what we have learned, one of the first things that comes to mind is...never assume. It's practically a joke around here, this idea of how bad 'assuming' is, that you can regularly hear us saying... "You know what assuming does!!!" (To which the response is..."It makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'..." Get it? Ass-u-me...spells assume... Yeah, I thought you probably picked right up on that...but just in case...)

Assuming is almost always a terrible thing. It is based on a premise that someone can know something to be true without any basis for that knowledge. Like, in the past, I have assumed that if Todd is quiet, he must be angry about something. Turns out, he might be angry...but more likely he is thinking about something, or maybe just tired. Huh! How 'bout that?? (Leave it to me to jump to conclusions!)

I have assumed that if we haven't been out for a while, he certainly would know how desperately I'm craving some alone time, and will be scheduling a date without prompting. Again...bad assumption. Not because he's a bad guy, or insensitive. (He's actually a great guy, who can, at times, be more intuitive than I.) Simply because we are different people, who are wired differently. More often than not, I'm craving alone time because our schedules have been hectic, we are flying around, and I need connection. At the very same time, also because schedules have been hectic, and we are flying around...and he's at work all day long...he feels like he hasn't really had much good 'dad-time' with the kids, and his focus is more there. Neither of us is wrong, but we just aren't necessarily thinking along the same lines. And assuming we are just doesn't breed anything good for either party.

We have also wrongly and dangerously assumed (many years ago) that good marriages 'just happen' to people who come from solid families, with little or no histories of divorce, who were raised in the church...blah, blah, blah. Generally speaking...'goody-goodies'. Guess what, ladies and gents...even 'goody-goodies' have a sin issue, and none of us are above problems or major falls. It took a near-fatal disaster to our marriage for us to realize this...and that one should NEVER assume to be 'above' or 'immune' to anything. Good marriages do NOT 'just happen'...they require attention, cultivation, self-sacrifice, and prayer. Lots and lots of prayer. They also require commitment, and community. It not only 'takes a village' to raise a child, it takes a village to have an awesome marriage. People who are willing to get in the thick of it with you, and tell you when you're being an ass. To tell you they will not stand by you while you destroy the good thing you've got, because of your own immature stubbornness. They will tell you that you've GOT to forgive, even when it hurts...because you have also caused hurt, and you need to be forgiven too.

Never, ever assume... On the other hand, when you KNOW something to be true...like, that you and your spouse are in this thing for life, you have an amazing God who can redeem anything, and you have been blessed by a wonderfully supportive network of friends...well, then be thankful. And spend the rest of your life remembering, and being very, very thankful.

hand-delivered messages

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 17:56:00 +0000

Ironically...or maybe not so much...part of my year of courage, begins with me stepping out in some things that stretch me beyond my comfort zone. One of the things has to do with giving myself permission to try to stir up and tap into some creative sides of me that I have long said I simply didn't have time to focus on. Do I have time now? Well, probably (and realistically) no more so than I ever have...but sometimes we just need to go for it, and choose to make some things priority, that simply weren't in the past. For me, this year, this will be writing. Writing in various formats, which yet remain to be seen. However, the thoughts of intentionally pursuing any of it scares the bejeebers out of me. But, I've been praying, daily, that if this is something God wants to use for whatever His purposes are, then I want to be a willing participant. Even if it goes no further than teaching me something about myself. And almost daily, God prompts me to keep going...through something I read, a song or a word of encouragement. Today's encouragement (or rather, one of them) has been through this quote from Emily Freeman, author and blogger (as shared by Simple Mom, Tsh on Facebook today):

"Creativity actually births courage. It comes after, not before. If you wait until you feel ready, you could be stuck in your small story for a very long time. Dare to see the art in everything, take small risks with great faith. You may find the fear fade a bit, and courage just might rise up within you like two great walls of water on either side, high enough for you to get lost in a good way in the bigness of it all."

Surely the message of cultivate creativity to birth courage was God's personal, hand-delivered message to me today...for which I am thankful and humbled.

Do you see God's personal messages to you today? The gentle encouragement of His loving hand? Where do you find them in the midst of your day?

photo credit

a courageous new year

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 14:40:00 +0000

Hello, friends...and Happy New Year to you. I can hardly believe 2 months has gone by since my last post. As you know, I'm somewhat of a thinker...and I've been doing some thinking about what to do with this here li'l blog of mine. I'm not entirely sure what will be happening as of yet, but I think some changes might be on the way... I suppose you'll just have to stay tuned to see...

In the meantime, and along the lines of praying for direction for a fresh, new year, I've got a few things that I'm choosing to focus on this year. A verse, and even more simply, a word. My verse for this year is Joshua 1:9...

I've been living a bit discouraged and burned out of late, and most definitely NOT courageous...so as I prayed and asked God to give me something to focus on for this year, as much as it makes me cringe...I felt like He was saying "courage". So, while I'd rather have a world like "relax" or "rest" or "prosper" or even "succeed" to be my focus...well, that's not what I was sensing...maybe next year. ;) For now, I feel like God is speaking to my heart to take courage...which is kind of scary, because of course, being ever the optimist, I start thinking "courage for what???". I do know some things God is putting his finger on in me that I do need to step up to, that will take some courage, but I am rather hoping that there's not a bunch more (bigger/worse stuff) on the horizon...just waiting to jump up and bite me... :) (Like I said, ever the optimist...)

If you want to know more about the idea of a word focus for the year, I got it from the site One Word 365. You can click the button below to check it out. I think it's a cool idea, and I'm definitely up for anything that helps me have a bit of focus. (Goodness knows I need all the help I can get!) And if you decide to jump in on the idea, I'd love for you to share with me what your Word will be!

Happy 2013 to you!!

photo credit

haters gonna hate...and I'm one of them

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Wed, 31 Oct 2012 16:53:00 +0000

Well, with Sandy come-and-gone, things in our tiny corner of the world are beginning to return to normal. We are still praying for the many, many people who can't say the same. I cannot even begin to imagine the devastation, heart break and amount of work that is lying ahead of those who were caught in the ravages of this storm.

In addition to being our return to school day (almost as good as a holiday for this mama, after having 3 energy-filled boys and a teenage girl cooped up in the house for several days!) today also happens to be October 31...Halloween. Of all holidays, this is my least favorite. In fact, to be totally honest, I really just wish this one would just fall off the calendar entirely (no offense to my cousin whose birthday is today...any chance you'd be up for rescheduling that?).

I know, I know...I'm probably getting lots of 'boos' from many sides, (and not the little ghosty kinds either). Look, here's my thing...I like playing dress up as much as the next over-grown kid. Truly, I do. And candy...well, heck yeah! However, having spent the past several months trying to detox my body from it's sugar addiction, and trying to adopt a more healthy lifestyle in general, having massive amounts of chocolate and caramel and yummy candy-coated shells sitting around my house is basically like dietary suicide.

Secondly, I have always struggled with all the associations of Halloween. Look, I'm not trying to start a 'religious' debate...I've heard them all, and honestly, played both sides of that field. Personally, growing up, it was a yearly flip-flop of being allowed to trick-or-treat or not, based on, probably, realistically, how worn down mom was to start with when we began our begging, cajoling and arguments about how *we* weren't celebrating anything evil, and it was ONLY about the candy and costumes for us. And all that was true. So, from a spiritual standpoint, I've heard every.possible.argument. 'for' and 'against'. All that aside, I still look around and see disturbing decorations in many yards as I drive around town. Mangled people, demonic images, and death abound. And this, from a purely 'logical' (as opposed to spiritual) standpoint...well, I just don't get, and frankly, don't like it. Personally, it holds no appeal.

I am a person that struggles with a myriad of fears on many levels, that I have worked hard to overcome. I've also worked hard to detour my kids from some of the things that I think cause those fears to take root in me in the first place. Some such things would be horror movies, overly-intense or fearful tv shows, and things blatantly associated with death. Call me 'religious' if you like...but I just prefer to think of it as making a healthy choice. I'm not judging anyone else for the things they find amusing or entertaining...I just know, for me, what kinds of adrenaline rushes I prefer...and those I don't.

Don't get me wrong...I'm not saying we shouldn't think about and weigh all of the hubbub from a spiritual aspect as well. Like I said, I've even heard arguments on both sides of the fence from this angle too. They both make enough sense for me to say I choose to remain fairly neutral on it, and keep my thoughts to myself. As with anything, I think it's personally responsible to consider things, and choose your personal actions based on what you believe. Without judging others for where they come out on things. Because really, this is one of those 'non-essentials', in my opinion.

"In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity." ~ Rupertus Meldenius

My dislike for Halloween comes really, I've determined, from merely a personal preference vantage. But it feels tiring and annoying to me to have to revisit all this every year, with it's ever increasing popularity and related costs (meaning, I pretty much hate spending money on all this). Thus, my pipe-dream that the holiday would just go away entirely. It's like a gnat buzzing around my head...just kinda annoying.

But, because the calendar says so, (and because I actually do like my friends and neighbors who happen to hold a differing opinion and enjoy this holiday), I went and blew money on candy (though, admittedly, grumbled the whole time). And, because I'm not a total Debbie Downer, I helped my kids come up with costumes, and we participated, as a church, in a local parade in our community, as a way of blessing others (with candy) and letting them know we are fun, friendly people. I am a bit of a party pooper because I'm not willing to traipse all over with my kids (and self) freezing our tootsies off this evening...but I left the older ones attend costume parties and go candy-begging...er, um...trick or treating with friends. And, I'll let the the younger ones indulge in sweets that I provide (since they already did the dressing up for the parade, it was easier to buy them off than go door to door) while we happily hand out goodies to others, and watch "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" from the cozy warmth of the living room.

I'm a middle-of-the-roader, and it's crankily that I sit here, and endure October, while looking forward to the 'real' holidays, with happier thoughts (though, not much healthier ones, from the food-related aspect, I'm afraid!) and far better concepts worth celebrating, like "peace on earth, goodwill to men".

On that note, I think I'll start some Christmas shopping!!

Happy Wednesday, October 31st to you...whether you celebrate it or not. We can all just have a good Wednesday, right? I think that's safe. :)

Sandy

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Mon, 29 Oct 2012 17:17:00 +0000

Nothin' much going on here...just sitting all tucked in, waiting to get blasted with the second largest hurricane of the century. While we have yet to see much actual weather-excitement, this has already been an event of historic proportions...in that, I have accomplished more cleaning, laundry, baking and other 'preparations' than ever before seen prior to noon on a Monday!

Who knows if we'll actually experience any real adverse effects from Hurricane Sandy, and I'm not one given to panic and overreaction, but after several friends losing power for over a week during last October's freak storms, I decided to heed all the warnings to prepare for such issues such as loss of electricity (thus including heat and cooking capabilities, as well as the all-important ability to FLUSH!) and inability to actually get out anywhere. It may all be for naught, but we have filled several containers of all kinds and sorts with water...some sitting waiting, some frozen, as well as filled up the bathtub, hauled out the candles, refilled the oil lamp, and charged all phones and computers. Oh, and don't forget, rented a few new movies and pulled out the old favorites.

I think we're set. And so we wait. (Though, I'm thankful nothing has really started getting crazy yet as my ever-dutiful husband did go off to work this morning to tend to his responsibilities. While I'm grateful to have such an integral and respectable guy...his keen sense of responsibility tends to result in my nervous paranoia that he will get stranded somewhere, and I stuck home alone to deal with the forces of nature. So, I'm hoping for a few more hours of calm before the real storm hits.)

While we settle in we have "Mirror, Mirror" and "The Iron Lady" on tap, as well as "Luther" (at least for me) and probably some old favorites like "Despicable Me". I figure we'll watch movies first, while we still have power, and save the games like Settlers, Blokus, and Boggle for later.

So, are you being affected by 'Frankenstorm'? What are you doing to prepare or pass the time?

As a 'Grease' fan, my fav picture from all the storm hubbub!

I gotta be me

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Thu, 25 Oct 2012 16:25:00 +0000

They say "opposites attract", and my dear husband and I surely do fit that stereotype.

I have a friend, who is similar to Todd in several ways, and I always joke with her about how she and Todd are both 'good'...and I'm...well...not.

By good, I mean several things...Todd is very bent on doing things 'right'. And to him, all the right things seem to come so simply. "Why don't you stack the dishes very neatly in the sink, or better yet, let's keep the dishwasher empty and put them right in there?" Sure, to a 'good' person, this makes total and complete sense...and it's even easy. Second nature! "Why don't you just input your receipts as soon as you get home from making a purchase, and the budget will always stay up to date?" Of course! Duh! But, to my not-good self, this is a torturous, not to mention insurmountable task. Todd sees things as black and white, right or wrong, good or bad. And, as much as I hate to admit it, he is nearly.always.right.

Honestly, it's part of why I married him. I'm no fool, nor am I blind to my own self. I know what I need...I need someone to bring balance, stability and....well, 'good'ness to my life!! We've often talked about how I was attracted to him because of his stability and he to my 'fun'. We both want and need what the other has.

But there are also sometimes that "I gotta be me".

I really do try to be 'good' most of the time, mostly because, it's the mature, responsible, adult thing to do. (Like I said, he's usually right...) However, there are just some times that I have to be able to let loose and just let the inner crazy, immature, wild-child side of me out.

Now, before we get too carried away, let me just say I was never really a wild child by any means. To most people, from the outside, I was a complete goody-goody. But in the straight-laced, conservative environment in which I was raised, my inner desires, if not always my actual actions, pushed the limits. I was raised in a no dancing, no drinking, no card playing kind of way. And frankly, I have enjoyed (well within reason) all of those activities once I got the freedom to be on my own. I'm not a big subscriber to "there might be abuse, so avoid use"!! I am much more inclined to think...just be responsible, know the truth of what you believe (as in, for me personally, the Bible being my guidelines to behavior, so, know what it actually says)...and live accordingly.

Thankfully for me, I am fully convinced that God is a God of beauty, creativity and, dare I say it...FUN. I think God not only is 'okay with' dancing...He endorses it. He created all sorts of things for no other purpose than to look pretty (i.e., sunsets). And He himself established all sorts of holidays and fesitvals. I'm pretty sure he's down with having a good time.

And so am I. But all this mature, responsible, adult stuff can just naturally have a way of taking a toll on that side of me. Not saying that this side never comes out...sure, there are lots of times that we have utterly silly, ridiculous conversations around the dinner table, or my daughter and I break out some really awkwardly bad dance moves in the living room. But most of the time, that's short lived because reality hits that there's dishes to be cleared, homework to be done, laundry to be folded, etc., etc. And it takes a toll.

I'm in one of those seasons that I just really need a couple of hours...or days...to just kick back and have fun. Not worry about problems; not give good advice. Not have to appear mature and responsible to anyone. To just be free to be me. I literally, almost physically crave that kind of time right now.

Thankfully, it is coming. In exactly one month, my wonderfully-right-but-also-needs-to-cut-loose-a-bit husband and I will be getting away for 2 whole days for our 20th anniversary. I was hoping for a big trip, but that dream seems to be fading quickly with each passing day, so I'm gonna focus on the 2 glorious, responsibility free days that are in the near future.

And hopefully, in the even nearer future will be a really good date night. I'm almost banking on that one. Want to know why? Because I think it produces very good results when you make this statement to your husband...

"My wild-side needs some attention."

;)

Journaling

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 13:57:00 +0000

Do you journal? I have, off and on, over the years. I used to more, until one time I went back and READ what I wrote...bad idea. I thought..."Ugh, what whiney, immature things to say!" The words I had penned seemed ridiculous, and it was embarrassing. So I stopped. But I have come to think it really is valuable, and I just needed to learn a lesson...don't go back and re-read!! (And, most importantly, put it in my will to have any and all remaining journals BURNED upon my death...NOT to be read by friends and family!! Yikes!)

I must say, I really do think there is value in journaling. It can help to get those ridiculous, whiney thoughts out of your guts, without spewing them on another person. Let's face it...we all have feelings, and feelings are what they are. They aren't necessarily 'right' or 'wrong'...they're just things we feel. However, feelings can be untrue, and sometimes we need to recognize that to deal rightly with them. Just because I feel like everyone hates me, for example, (and no worries, I don't actually feel that, I'm just using it as an obvious example!) doesn't make it factual. In these times, it can truly help to write everything out...and take a look at it in black and white. It can help us process what we are feeling. (Maybe this is why some people feel the need to post every thought and feeling in social media outlets...which, let me say loud and clear...I DO NOT advocate, DO NOT think is healthy and DO NOT think is helpful!!) But a little notebook, or even piece of paper...now that can be a useful tool. And if you're really needing an outlet to spill your guts, but it's the sort of things you really don't want anyone to ever find, here's a suggestion.

Write it all down...release every whiney, nasty, angry or fearful thought that you're struggling with. Don't hold back, don't polish it...just go ahead and write out what is rattling around in your head.

Next, pray. God knows what we are feeling and thinking anyway, so there's no use trying to play games with him...if you feel like you're hating a certain person, and you're thinking you're hating them...God's not fooled by our plastic smile and our "Bless their darlin', pea-pickin' little heart..." uttered through clenched teeth. So, go ahead...get really real. Ask him to just bring it all to the surface for you to spew on that paper... and then ask Him to take it all. Ask him to help you to see reality, if need be. Ask him to show you where you might be mis-perceiving things.

And then rip up the paper. Seriously...it can be a freeing thing! Once you've had the opportunity to 'say' all that's bubbling inside you...and then had to actually face, in black and white, the reality of what it all is...it can be like turning on the light in the middle of a nightmare. Suddenly, things seem not quite so bad. Feelings can still linger...but you can get a better grip on them, and force your mind toward reality and choices that you can make on how to deal with your feelings. And tearing up the paper can, not only ensure that no one else will read your deepest thoughts, it can also give some 'finished-ness' to the process. Sometimes you'll find that venting like this actually is all the release you need, and you'll finally be able to put some of it aside and move on!

On a more positive side of journaling, if you'd like a practical way to look toward God to pour IN to your heart and mind, I would really recommend this little book for your Kindle or Kindle app... (Do you know that even if you don't have a regular Kindle, you can download an app for your computer or phone for FREE?? Yep, I've had mine for months now, and love having the option to get e-books without having to purchase an expensive reader!) This book is one I've just started, and I love that it gives me a short thing to focus on daily, and some tracks to run on as far as a writing prompt to help me direct my thoughts for the day in a positive direction. Each day gives a Scripture, a Thought for Meditation, and a Writing Prompt. It's only $2.99 through Amazon (you can click the picture below and I have it linked right to the Amazon page), and it's been a wonderful tool that I've used to just spend a few minutes with God and let Him set my focus for the day. You should check it out!

Happy journaling!! :)

Battle of the Balk

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Mon, 15 Oct 2012 14:56:00 +0000

Sometimes I get very frustrated with myself. OK, admittedly, MOST days I'm frustrated with myself...I identify very much with Paul's words in the book of Romans...

I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate.

It seems on a daily basis, there is a plethora of things that I want to do, should do, and must do. And I've been to enough conferences and seminars, read books, and heard teachings to know that you must prioritize in order to get to the things that are really important. (Heck, I just posted about that very thing myself!)

And still, I struggle. But I realized that a large part of my problem is that I give too many things a 'start', but don't follow through to complete them...and there's a whole cloud of floating 'things' hanging over my head all the time. It's the Battle of the Balk.

Now, maybe you are unfamiliar with the term 'balk', in the form I'm thinking of. It's a baseball term...a balk occurs when a pitcher interrupts the pitching motion. He starts, but doesn't follow through. It may be on purpose (to fake someone out), or unintentional. But either way, there's an intention without follow through...and that's me.

I have wind up almost as good as Cole's...

I wear a lot of 'hats', and so there's a lot swirling around it my head. It's this crazy brew of schedules (for six individuals, plus a church), meal plans, sermon thoughts, craft ideas, counseling suggestions, prayer requests, house longings, book ideas...and frankly, that is just this morning's blend!! I feel like in any given day, I think "Okay...today I will do *this*!" And the minute I set out to begin...wind up for the pitch, so to speak...one of those other ideas catches my eye. And I think...."Agh...that's probably more important..." And so I switch my focus. For a while. Til I remember the even MORE urgent need that I forgot about. And so I switch again. Thus...the wind up, but no follow through. The balk.

I really gotta stop this balking. It's not good for me mentally, and it accomplishes very little. But I found a little freebie last week that I think might help. If you suffer from the Battle of the Balk as well, you might want to check it out too. I love the blog "Simple Mom", and this month Tsh posted her updated 'Daily Docket'. It's a little daily 'worksheet' to help you plan and prioritize each day. It's a free download (thanks so much Tsh!!), and I've decided it's got to be the first thing that I need to start doing and following through with...in order to start following through with a lot more!

Follow through with consistent form...that's what I'm going for...

Now, I used to be of the mindset that I probably could never REALLY make any major lasting changes in my life...sort of the "I am what I am" idea...but seeing how much we have been able to change the last few months in the area of diet and exercise makes me realize how untrue this is. It's a new day! I CAN change...I CAN do better...and I even WANT to! :)

So today, my plan is...and I promise you, upon finishing this post, I'm totally going to do this...to fill out my 'Daily Docket' and follow through!! It's already printed and sitting right by me! Granted, I probably should have done it 2 hours ago...but hey...it's Monday...I move a little slower. :)

Are you a balker? Or a straight shooter with a great follow through?

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here's to being blonde...

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Tue, 09 Oct 2012 17:56:00 +0000

So for any of you reading this that also happen to be my 'real life' friends, you may be about to cry 'hypocrite' to this post, if you saw me mention on Facebook this morning that I'm "trying to be aware of my caffeine intake". But, in my defense, I'd like to pre-emptively say that being 'aware' does not necessarily mean 'cutting out'. What I'm about to share with you, I'm very...*ahem*...'aware'...of. :)

Recently I tried Starbucks 'blonde roast' coffee. It was recommended to me months ago by a couple of friends. They talked of it's wonderful smoothness, and delicious taste...which for many is uncharacteristic of any Starbucks coffee. I will admit, that even I find they can be a bit bitey or 'burnt' tasting. Upon trying certain blends, I've even commented to Todd that I felt like I'd smoked a cigarette after drinking them. (Not that I'd actually know, since I've never in my life smoked anything...but whatever. It tasted like my dad always smelled, so it was my best guess.)

But let me just say, I've tasted, and I'm a believer that blondes...at least when it comes to coffee roasts...really are more fun!!

Last week I had a long afternoon drive to attend a 3-hour meeting, followed by another long drive home. I knew it was going to be...well...long...so I figured a nice shot of caffeine would be in order. I thought I remembered someone warning me that the blonde roast was more caffeinated, and I decided to do a little research to confirm this. Sure enough, the blonde roast is the highest caffeination of all the roasts. Here's a quick explanation of why...

Spectrum of beans..."blondes to the left, please..."

Think about steaming veggies. It's the preferred method because less cooking time means more nutrients stay contained in the food, right? Well, same goes for roasting time of coffee beans, apparently...less means more. Less roasting allows the beans to keep all that good caffeine sealed up tight...to be released in my Venti cup 'o joe. On the flip side, the darker the roast, the more bitter (some might say 'burnt') the taste, and the less caffeine...though, don't get me wrong...I'm not saying dark roast means 'almost' decaf. More saying, if you need to stay awake, and are looking for a bigger 'boost' from your java, go light roast.

"Gimme the big 'un!"

So, in looking for that afternoon 'boost', and still trying to stay within my current eating plan, I decided a nice cup of blonde roast with some sugar-free caramel syrup and cream would be just the thing I needed. And, in the spirit of 'go-big or go-home', I order up a 'venti'...yep, the LARGE, most caffeinated drink I could get. Needless to stay, I didn't have any trouble nodding off during the drive...or my meeting...or at bedtime, either.

But it was sooooo good. So good, in fact, that I went and splurged a second time last week... And found myself battling against a desire for a third. At which point I realized, I really can't support a Sbux addiction, so I needed to say no. But I will confess to buying a bag of blonde last night at Target to brew at home...still a treat, but FAR less costly. And, hey...it was on sale! Don't you judge me... ;) (Apparently what is true for hair is also true for coffee...blonde is best done by someone else, but cheaper to do at home...)

I also just realized, in doing some more research, that next week is the one-year anniversary of Starbucks introducing this...so here's to you and Happy Anniversary you beautiful blonde... :)

(BTW, apparently, if you'd like to try a blonde roast for the taste, but minus the caffeine jolt, there is one variety that comes decaf... the Willow Blend. So, you can still try it, even if you don't want to be shaking for the next 12 hours! And no, Starbucks doesn't pay me anything for all this crazy endorsement...I just really love them. But, if they wanted to give me free coffee for saying these nice things, I'd totally take it!!)

X-treme crafting

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Mon, 08 Oct 2012 19:04:00 +0000

As I confessed here...I'm a Pinterest addict. However, I totally justify this guilty pleasure every time that I actually do something useful with one of those little pins...like try a recipe or actually make something creative (as opposed to just think creative thoughts...).

Today happened to be one of those days!

It was a simple enough idea, and I've had the 'supplies' (if you can even justify calling an empty coffee container, some twine and a glue gun 'supplies') for months now. Well, today inspiration and motivation struck at the same time, so I invested the 15 minutes and am quite pleased with the results.

Now, this is a pretty complicated tutorial, so try to stay with me as best as you can.

First, take an empty coffee container, put a little bit of hot glue and fasten the twine. Wrap. Add bits of hot glue as needed.

Next, set it somewhere and shove some stuff in it.

Whew. That was a tough one. So glad for my mad crafting skills. ;)

the practicals of proverbs

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Mon, 08 Oct 2012 02:20:00 +0000

When I was younger my mother gave me some very practical advice. (Well, she gave me lots of practical advice, but I'm going to specifically share this one with you.) Read Proverbs. As in, the book of Proverbs, in the Bible.

The reason this advice is so practical, is because the book of Proverbs itself is just so full of practical wisdom. The book itself is practical in it's layout, as there are 31 chapters...as in, one for every day of the month. And believe me, I've read through Proverbs many times over, and it's always got something new and fresh, because life situations and circumstances are always changing. There's always something different that jumps out at me.

The book starts out, from the beginning, telling of the value of it's contents...

"The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:for attaining wisdom and discipline; for understanding words of insight; for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair; for giving prudence to the simple, and knowledge and discretion to the young - let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance..." ~Proverbs 1:1-5

Just reading that makes me say, "Oh, yes please...I need some of that!! I need wisdom, disclipline...and 'simple'...oh yeah, that definitely describes me!!"

I also read it now through eyes of a mom, searching for nuggets of truth to give my children to help them get through the ups and downs of every day life. Especially as I hear the infamous lines like "Everyone else is allowed to...", or "Mom, it's no big deal..." Because, even if everyone else IS doing it, some things still ARE a big deal. And rather than convince them of such things with the only weight behind it being 'I'm the mom and I said so..." (which, in case you aren't aware, the older they get, the less weight this carries...and 9 times out of 10, it's just bad reasoning anyway), it's a whole lot more effective to answer those types of questions (as well as all the relational issues that kids deal with) by taking them directly to scriptures like...

"My son, if sinners entice you, do not give to to them...." ~Prov. 1:9

"Discretion will protect you and understanding will guard you." ~Prov. 2:11

"For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them; but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm." ~Prov. 1:32-33

"Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man." ~Prov. 3:3-4

I can't stress how chock-full of wisdom this book is!! And what a wonderful treasure of some sort that I seem to find each day, in each chapter. I don't read through it every month, but it's certainly worth taking it in at least a couple months out of every year. So go ahead...read it...and then in a month or two...read it again! I'm pretty sure there's no danger of overdosing on wise words!!

big rocks

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Tue, 02 Oct 2012 14:24:00 +0000

Did you ever notice how many distractions there are in life? Dumb question, I know. I'm sure you have. It's what frustrates us on a daily basis...or, at least many of us. We start out with expectations every.single.morning. of what our day will look like. We have a list...if not actual, then at least a mental one...of all the things we plan to do, accomplish or enjoy. And then...at least for me...reality happens. A kid gets sick, or there's a spill on the carpet that really should be cleaned, I realize there's no food in the house and I MUST get to the grocery store, or there's an appointment I forgot about. I guess you could chalk a lot of my distractions up to 'poor planning', and I'm willing to concede possibly a large part to that...but even so, it seems like almost daily there's some unexpected thing that throws me off course.

Thus, the most 'nebulous' things on my list inevitably get pushed to the bottom. The things that generally have the most long-term value, yet aren't necessarily 'screaming' for attention, demanding to be done NOW. Things that aren't even really 'cross them off the list' type things...and yet still things that require my thought, my time and my attention.

I'm thinking, for example, things like, addressing my kids' attitude problems. I have multiple parenting books sitting on my end table, that I'm sure are full of helpful suggestions in redirecting some of the issues I see our family struggling with. But it would take time to actually read those books, and even more time to pray about and implement the necessary changes. It's quicker, and at least for the time being, gets some measure of results just to yell and freak out and be crazy mom...and hey, the dishes are piling up, the dog hair is free-floating across the hardwood floor, and we won't even mention the state of the bathrooms! Who has time to read and have thoughtful, meaningful conversation with family...right?

Or how about the book on a given and specific topic that I know has been gurgling inside me for a couple of years now? Who has time to invest in learning the mechanics of good writing, organizing my thoughts and actually beginning the process? Not me, that's for sure. And yet every time I stumble across the plentiful information being put out in the blogosphere about how pretty much anyone can write these days, I feel that twinge inside me that says..."Just do this already!" But again...the tyranny of the urgent screams "NO WAY!! I need attention...NOW!!"

It's an ongoing battle and process in life to try to make the 'main things' the main things...and keep them that way. Part of that is learning to say "No" to some things, and to say "Wait" to other things. Say "Yes" to the things I should...fill up my days and weeks with them and let everything else fall in where it may.

You have probably heard the analogy of the the 'big rocks'...but it bears reminding, if not you, then myself. Rather than explain it, here's a short video that does so perfectly...

I just have to keep reminding myself...BIG ROCKS FIRST. And of course, part of that means identifying WHAT the big rocks are...and being okay to acknowledge that some things just aren't 'big rocks', and heck...some things just aren't rocks at all! (Sorry, I don't thing the PTO Meeting rocks are going to ever make it into my container...and I really am starting to accept and be okay with that.) Then, after all the big rocks are in, I can decide on a daily/weekly/monthly basis what 'extras' might win that coveted 'little rock' status...like, random field trips, social events and whatever else comes across our paths.

There's also all the 'stuff' like, household stuff, that I could most certainly fill my days entirely with...but I think that for us personally (this being very individual and specific to our family) that those are the things I tend to 'default' to, but aren't the things that I'm supposed to be making priority. At least not in this particular season of life...(again, for me). I think that I, and my family, are supposed to learn how to keep the household going, learn what things just aren't that important to us (and therefore can just be allowed to fall off the radar), and how to make it work for me to be a WAHM (work at home mom), who is largely available but still has some very real things beyond the cooking/cleaning and taxiing that must stay priority for us.

It's still a little weird for me to acknowledge and adjust to 'season changes'. For a time, one of our biggest rocks was homeschooling. Before that it was devoting my entire attention to teaching little people to walk, talk and go on the potty. Those seasons are both done. It's a new season, and one that I find I have to be far more intentional about...partly because no one is screaming and pulling on me, demanding what I WILL do with my time. It's very true that the 'squeaky wheel (or in this case, child) gets the grease'. But now, some of the most important wheels don't necessarily squeak the loudest, and I have to to seek out, plan and prioritize what will get my attention. (You'd think it would be a very freeing experience...especially if you are still in the 'squeaky infant/toddler' stage...but it's actually not as easy as you might think! I'm very surprised how hard it is to discern the urgent from the important...)

I'm finding my way, and slowly, I think I'm getting the hang of it. Still, I'm looking forward to getting MUCH better at this.

"No, Jessi, not like this...the big rocks FIRST!!"

good teachers

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Fri, 21 Sep 2012 15:00:00 +0000

Last night I attended our final "Back to School Night" for the beginning of this year. (Have I mentioned how much of an utter pain in the backside having 4 kids at 4 different schools is?!?! Oy!) Anyway, this is not a complainer post, I actually just wanted to say how much I appreciate good teachers.

I could have cried tears of joy last night when Bryce's math teacher said that they should really only be spending 20 minutes a night on their math homework. No more. She expressed in no uncertain terms that if they are struggling with it, and we as parents aren't able to help them get it, to JUST. STOP. She said, her concern is, she doesn't want to 'lose them' at this point, and make them really hate math out of sheer frustration. She said, write a note, and send the homework back saying "We tried...we don't get it...", and she will help them again the next day, no questions asked. Having worked with multiple children who have spent evenings in tears...with me close behind...over homework frustrations, has made me so appreciative of a teacher who actually cares about the whole of the child, more than they care about their assignments.

If there's one thing I learned from my years homeschooling, it's the value of teaching children to be 'learners' as opposed to stuffing them with facts, that they can turn around and spit back out, but without any lasting value. I understand that teachers are under pressure to make kids 'perform' to standards, because they (the teachers) are having their feet held to the fire, for reasons that just make me angry. I hate the 'politicalness' of our education system, and trust me, you don't even want me to start a rant on that. But it does surely make me appreciate when you receive the blessing of a good teacher, who teaches because he or she loves kids, is passionate about their subject, and is good at helping people LEARN. (Oh, and it really helps when they're funny too...)

Here's to all the GOOD teachers!! And to the start of what I am hoping to be a really good school year. And to enduring the LAST 'Back to School Night' for another year!! Woot woot!

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going to the dogs...

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 15:21:00 +0000

Warning: another long, random and rambly post...I've been stuck in the house with 3 boys with fevers and bronchitis for 4 days now...I'm getting a little nutty...

Isn't it funny how some people are just animal people and some aren't? I've given some thought to the 'whys' of this, and frankly, I just don't there are are any. You might think that it has to do with whether you grew up with animals or not, but I don't even find this to hold true. Growing up, we always had animals...dogs, rabbits, guinea pigs...heck, we even had a pet calf. (Yup, true story...we had a little shed it lived in just down the winding driveway from our house. He would bellow every morning, til we came out to him, and would literally have big tears that would run down his face. I kid you not! We would feed him and let him loose in the yard, and he would leap and jump and follow us all around. One time we forgot to put him back in the shed before we girls went in the house for lunch, and he followed us right in the back door. Mom drew the line there...)

Anyway, we had lots of pets, and yet my one sister is so not an animal lover. In general, they're just not her thing. I think it's more like something you are born with...like an appreciation for art, a skill for math, or an ear for music. Some people simply are animal people, and others aren't. I don't think that we should argue about it, or make one seem more 'right' than others...I think God created animals, gave us humans the responsibility of caring for them, but obviously, just like we don't all have the same jobs or talents...we won't ALL be caring for these particular members of creation.

Personally, I love certain animals...particularly big ones. Big dogs, horses, cows...I think they all seem very intuitive, and I actually believe God created them this way. I think they have a sense of purpose, and thrive when they are being able to live to their potential.

However, I'm not an animal rights activist, or someone who goes 'overboard' with my thoughts on it all, nor do I expect everyone to have the same appreciation for the furry friends of the world that I do. When we got our current dog, Maggie, it was mainly because our old dog, Casey had died right before we moved here, seven years ago. The kids begged and pleaded for a new dog, but at the time I had one elementary aged child, one kindergartener, one preschooler and one infant. I was in pretty deep, and my decree was, "Until everyone in this house is potty trained and wiping their own butts, we will have no pets that poop!!" That pretty much narrowed it down to a pet rock, or nothing. There were multiple requests..."Mom, can we get a fish?" My response, "Does it poop?" "Mom, can we have a rabbit? They're just little!" My response, "Does it poop?" The eventually caught on..."Mom, everything poops!!" Tha's right, chillens...you got it now...

Well, eventually the last child was potty trained and wiping his own butt...and the pleading resumed. Todd and I weighed the pros and cons, but decided the pros won, and we gave in. We also took note that the lone voice in the crowd of our offspring was Bryce, who was saying he didn't want a dog, he didn't care if we had a dog, he didn't want to deal with a dog. Interesting, and duly noted. We told the rest of the family that since we were going with the majority who wanted a dog, but in order to honor Bryce's feelings as well, he would be required to do less of the dog care than the others. This has stood, and it's pretty much just accepted that Bryce isn't the animal lover that we are. Todd and Bryce both have an 'affectionate tolerance', shall we say, of our four-legged family member...but that's about it.

We searched all the animal finder sites for quite a while, and finally settled on a yellow lab puppy.

I have always had mutts, and loved each of them, but I have to say, I think Maggie is the smartest, most personable dog we've ever had. I had heard this about labs, but having one has surely convinced me. Now granted, I've already admitted to being a dog-lover to begin with, but seriously, this beast, for all the work and annoyance she can be, on a daily basis makes herself really hard not to love. She dutifully watches for the kids' buses every day (and expects to be rewarded with food after each one leaves, like her watching accomplished some big task...).

"They are safely on the bus. My work here is done..."

She follows me around the house all day, from room to room. I love the fact that when I play piano, she is insistant about laying right with me, usually under the piano bench against my legs or on my foot. I mentioned yesterday what an obstacle course it currently is to get TO the piano, but she is willing to work her way through it to lay dutifully at my feet...

"I know I can squeeze through this space..."

"I MUST get as close as possible..."

"Ahhh...my rightful place...all is well..."

At night, if anyone at all is on the floor, she thinks it's an open invitation for snuggle time.

And she has no idea that she's a whopping 100 pounds...she still thinks she's a lap dog. (Even though this pic is old, before she hit the 100 pounds, it should have been an early inicator of the issues she would have...)

What do you mean I'm too big to be held??

comforts

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Tue, 18 Sep 2012 15:12:00 +0000

Today is a cool and rainy day...but not feeling like the depressing, sad or frustrating kind...but just the kind that makes you want to cozy up with a cup of tea and a candle. It also makes me want to sit at my piano and just play and and sing and pour out my heart. Oh, and snuggle with my dog. As I thought a moment on the randomness of all those things, and yet how they somehow go together in my mind, the common thread was 'comfort'. All those things, for reasons of their own are my comforts.

A cup of tea and a candle... Growing up, I was surrounded by family. Literally. My mom is one of six kids, and my dad is one of four. Somehow, it managed to work out that as adults, two of my mom's sisters, and one of my dad's all owned homes on the same block as ours. It seemed 'far' to Grandma's house (one mile away) in comparison. Thinking back, I realize how totally cool all that is, though I never gave it much of a thought as a kid...it was just my normal. Part of normal was sitting with my mom and aunts to 'visit' over a 'cup of tea'...a time I remember as being particularly calming and soothing. Seems Aunt Kay always had a little candle burning on the table, and she always treated us, even as little kids, like important and special guests. She would ask questions about our day, about school...pretty much anything and nothing, and even though we saw her lots (our backyards did meet, after all), and it wasn't a special occasion, somehow it always felt special.

My piano, over the years, has become my 'centering place'. It's more about the music than the instrument, I think, because I didn't even learn to play the piano until after I was married. Still, whenever I need to focus my thoughts, or stop of the spinning of the swirl of life, I head for the piano. These days, my family room, where the piano is, happens to be a complete chaotic nightmare, because, frankly, our house is too small, and due to lack of storage, things are spilling over, and that's where they spill to. All of our games are there, our bookshelves, desks, treadmill, bins of 'stuff' that got moved out from the boys' room while I work on painting and redecorating in there, and stacks of homeschooling portfolios that I've yet to be able to bring myself to part with, even though I know I'm being ridiculous to hold on to them, when I just don't have the space. It's like an obstacle course to even get to the piano (which now has driven me nuts just enough that after I'm done with this post, I think it's time to try to remedy...yet again...which will probably last for another week or two...*sigh*). In any case, I picked my way there this morning to let the music sooth and refocus me. I don't know why it does...I'm guessing just because that's what God has written into my DNA. And maybe because whenever it was naptime, my mom used to put on a bunch of soothing records (yes, I admit to being old enough to remember records, and the ginormous console that took up most of our living room to play them on). I also remember even as a child, one of my favorite things to do was just to be alone on my bed with an old hymnal that we had, and I would sit and sing through the old songs, verse by verse. Music somehow effects us (or, at least, me) on a level that manages to get past all the mental clutter and hang ups, and just soothes the soul.

As for the dog...well, I'm just an animal person. Or, at least, a dog person. Well, a big dog person...I'm not a fan of the little yappers. I've always had a big dog, and it just seems that they are so intuitive, and can sense when you need love. And they're always ready to oblige. Even when I'm cranky, or just yelled at them. Even when I'm feeling most unpersonable and burned out on 'people'...an issue I have a lot. Dogs don't care...they just lay around waiting for you to want them...and I like that. Call it a character flaw, if you want, that I selfishly want something that I can largely ignore, and then demand affection from, but hey...wasn't it nice of God to create animals for us who are totally okay with that? It's a nice break from all the give-and-take required in human relationships...but I digress. Dogs...I think that will be my next post...

So tell me, what are your comforts?

photo credit
photo credit

homemade granola

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Tue, 18 Sep 2012 01:29:00 +0000

Today was a wonderfully fallish day here. The weather was perfect, and even though all the boys were home 'sick' (they were feeling fine, just have nasty-sounding coughs...the kind that people freak out about if they hear you hack within 50 feet of them...the kind teachers REALLY don't want to hear every 2 minutes all day long...) but they just were well enough to help me get some cleaning done (wasn't that convenient?), so I hauled out all my fall decor. There's not tons of it or anything...just enough to make it cozy, and give everybody warm fuzzies when they walk in the door greeted by the smell of a pumpkin spice candle.

The cool breeze and clean house inspired me to do some baking, and I've had a recipe for granola that I've been wanting to try for a little while, so I decided today was a perfect day. I've never made granola before, but turns out, it's easy-peasy, is a healthy snack that the kids loved, and made the house smell awesome! You'll definitely want to give it a try... There's stuff you can add to it, like raisins, dried cranberries, or even chocolate chips (which, I better never do, or I'll eat the whole batch myself!!)...but we're going just straight up plain here. Todd and the boys mixed it in some yogurt and loved it, and I'll confess to scooping up a few too many handfuls of it just so. And the best part is, it makes you feel all domestic to say, "Yeah, I make my own granola...'cuz I'm crunchy like that..."

(The recipe was forwarded to me by my friend Laura because it's one she found that is similar to what she does. I asked her for her recipe, but she's a foody who just wings-it with all her cooking, and she know I am utterly incapable of cooking that way...at least, not and come out with something edible! But, in an effort to give due credit...it goes to both Laura AND the site. I wanted to mention this, so as not to have you think I have any actual cooking talent, oh, and by the way, you can go to the original recipe if you click the link, if you'd like the nutritional info).

Homemade Granola

INGREDIENTS:
4 cups old-fashioned oats
1 1/2 cup sliced almonds
1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup honey
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 cup raisins or dried cranberries or chocolate chips

DIRECTIONS: Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. In a bowl mix the oats, almonds, brown sugar, salt and cinnamon. In a saucepan warm the oil and honey. Whisk in vanilla. Carefully pour the liquid over the oat mixture. Stir gently with a wooden spoon; finish mixing by hand. Spread granola in a 15x10 inch baking pan. Bake 40 minutes, stirring carefully every 10 minutes. Transfer granola-filled pan to a rack to cool completely. Stir in raisins or cranberries. Seal granola in an airtight container or self-sealing plastic bag. Store at room temperature for 1 week or in the freezer for 3 months.

Go ahead and try it...you'll like it!!

a different approach

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 20:02:00 +0000

Lately I have been noticing a certain level of frustration between the kids and the parents in our household. We all seem to have short fuses. Tempers flare, voices escalate...occasionally it culminates in tears... But enough about me... Kidding!! (OK, no I'm not...)

In any case, I've been on somewhat of a mission the past few months to try and see what we can/need to tweak in order to bring more of a sense of peace to our home. I've read some books, some articles, some blogs. Lots of good information out there...but making it practical, and making it stick...well...that's a lot harder in reality than it is in theory. So, I'm applying the same advice as what I mentioned in regards to healthy lifestyle changes...just start with one small thing.

One of the very most practical things I've read talks about how often frustration results when expectations aren't clear. This is especially true when it comes to chores. (Now, if you asked me, I would have thought by this time, our expectations for chores are pretty clear...but if you ask my kids, there seems to be...shall we say, a little less clarity. Somehow, I am still having to DAILY remind them to do things, that seem to me, by now should be a given..."I didn't know we had to make our beds EVERY day..." Really???)

OK, so rather than lecture (for the umpteenth time) about how I've said umpteen times what I want done, I'm going to try a different approach. (Because you have heard the definition of "crazy" right?)

cra·zy/ˈkrāzē/ - doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results

That might not be the real dictionary definitely, but trust me, it's totally true and I've already hung out there a bit too long.

I've decided that we need a more visual approach. So, thanks to Pinterest, I'll be introducing this little system tonight...

The idea is, everything that is expected on a DAILY basis, without question, is on one of these pins. (And, I do realize how sad it is that some of them need to be on there at this point...I wouldn't think I'd still be needing holler before they dart out to the bus... "You DID brush your teeth, right?!?" But we are talking about being very.very.unquestionably.clear., so I'm just not going to do ANY assuming...) I'm going to say "These hangers represent ME asking YOU"...so there's no "I didn't know the dishwasher needed to be unloaded..." That little clothes pin should remind them, before they ask to watch TV, to check the dishwasher. Want to play with friends? All those clothes pins better be flipped! (Obviously, with some exceptions, as I am still sane enough to know that if they want to play with a friend at 4:30, there's no way they could have cleared the dinner dishes first...so no worries for my precious offspring...I plan to play fair and square.) Hopefully, the more clear I am, the less nagging I will have to be, and the more will actually get done...with less frustration all the way around.

I've also compiled all of the weekly chore expectations as well. That will be going on a printed chart to check off whenever it's done. This has never worked all that well for us in the past, but I haven't tried it since our homeschooling days, at which time I was constantly running on empty, and pretty much had just given up. So I'm willing to give it another go, and with a bit of fresh perspective. One book I read said, and it made a lot of sense, that part of kids' frustration when it comes to chores in general, is that they can have a general sense of "there's stuff I'm supposed to do, but I'm not entirely sure what all it is, so I'll do nothing". But then they tend to always feel like something is hanging over them...and they're just waiting for you to drop the 'next' thing on them; they flare up and complain, because they never have that sense of "I'm done, I can just relax now." I know how real that feeling is for myself, so it only makes sense kids would experience it as well. Think about finishing your work day at five, and having a boss come up and say, "Oh, no...you still need to do this, this, and this before you can leave..." It's frustrating for anyone. So, for kids and adults alike, clear expectations help to set parameters. "I have these 4 things to do, and then I am free." It makes them more likely to just tackle the chores, to get them out of the way, so they can move on. And there's the part I need to really get on board with...be clear, but then let them be done. I'm not saying there won't occasionally be something that comes up that they need to help out with, but it will be the exception and not the rule...giving them a lot more incentive, and hopefully for both our sakes, there will be a lot less nagging.

We'll begin beta testing this system right away. (In fact, it's already started. Since I started typing, one of the kids got home and saw the hangers. We talked briefly about it. When he asked if he could play Playstation, I simply asked if his pins were all able to be moved over. Easy peasy. He's on it a lot quicker, knowing there's a fairly clear and simple end it sight...and he doesn't want to waste the time arguing; he'd rather just do it and move on. Just like how I feel with MY to-do list.)

Hopefully good results will result in a more chill family all the way around...we shall see. As I feel like I am constantly saying..."It's a start."

who IS that girl???

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 17:26:00 +0000

Since my little summer hiatus, and the last time I talked about beginning my ~~dreaded battle~~ journey with weight loss and some healthy eating changes, I've been somewhat successful...but can definitely tell this is only the beginning. A very smart woman mentioned this advice..."It's as simple as putting one change into your life: whether it's taking a walk every day at 9:00, or eating a salad three times a week, or drinking more water. Don't make it too complicated - you can do it if I can!" Well, sure enough, I have started making some small changes, and have seen results. Not big, dramatic results...but still, I'm happy for the 15 pounds or so that I've dropped thus far.

However, I will admit how surprised I am that I'm actually not HATING this as much as I anticipated!! (Please note the difference between 'enjoying' and 'not hating'...there is one). And I'm finding myself things that I never did, and vowed I never would...like running...and eating plain yogurt (with fruit in it...baby steps, people, baby steps). Yep, crazy... Don't get me wrong, it's not like I've gone all crunchy and health-nutty. I am basically only logging about 2 miles per day...I run *most* of the first mile (I'm too lazy to run the uphills) and walk the second mile.

But at least it's something...and something a lot more than what I was doing which formerly included sitting on the couch and snuggling with a bowl of ice cream every night. :) It helps to have Todd making the same changes I am (and having started before me, doing really great with his own changes and encouraging me to stick with it...even when I'm totally nasty to him about it...which, I definitely am on more occasions than I care to admit) some friends encouraging me and an accountability partner who has walked the road before me, and shares her ups, downs and nuggets of wisdom with me along the way.

Yes, it's true, I barely recognize myself these days. Definitely not because I look all that different, but because I'm making fun of my 'healthy' friends less and agreeing with them more...(agh!)...and doing odd domestic-y things like trying to make my own granola (on my list for this week) and bizarre behaviors like passing up junk food on a regular basis. What the...????

I have thought about what has been my main motivation for this... It's hard to pinpoint...maybe jealousy of hearing every.single.person. we see gush about how great my husband looks...maybe it's the fact that I wanted new clothes...maybe it's because I'm turning 40 on my next birthday... Yep, it's all of those lame, selfish things. Hey...I didn't say I had a complete personality transplant, OK? Don't judge me... :)

photo credit

good, dreamer, rebel

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 17:50:00 +0000

I've noticed something kind of funny recently. It seems that when it comes to managing larger groups of people, not a whole lot changes from what the scenario looks like in a kindergarten classroom...

There's always the 'good' kids...the ones who are just so eager to learn, and to please, and follow every rule to.the.T. They get very annoyed and agitated with the 'others'.

The 'others' aren't necessarily bad kids... Some of them are easily distractable. With those kids, if you can capture their attention, they usually pleasantly comply...the probably just didn't even hear your voice the first ten times you articulated what was going on. They're the free-spirits. They 'just wanna have fun' (and no, they're not all girls).

Then there are the kids that actually have a rebellious streak... They hear you, and they purposely tune you out. You represent, to them, a challenge. They actually find it amusing to ignore you, or do the exact opposite of what you said, just to see how you'll react. The bigger the reaction, the bigger the payoff. These little buggers will suck you into conflict faster than you can blink an eye.


Look at all those little personalities...and think what it will be like to be in a church or PTO meeting with them in 20 years!!

Here's the funny thing... I've worked with all of these types of 'kids'...in adult bodies! I've led meetings, teams, and organizations...and today I was just pondering the irony of how similar it is...and was frankly amused picturing scenarios of the adults in I know sitting in little grade-school sized chairs and figuring they probably were a lot like they are now, as kids...

Oh, and don't think I've excluded myself from this scenario... I won't say which one I am, exactly...though, I will say, I'm probably one of the only people ever to have gotten yelled at by a Pampered Chef consultant for being too rambunctious during a home demonstration. Yep, no lie. She was pretty ticked.

Bottom line...we're all just a bunch of kids in bigger bodies. (Some of us, considerably bigger bodies...) So...which one are you?

photo credit

so-long sweet summertime...

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi) — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 14:41:00 +0000

Well, summer has come and gone. Labor Day is past (time to put away those white shoes...oh, never mind, I don't have any white shoes, and frankly, I'm pretty sure there aren't really any fashion 'rules' anymore...have you looked around lately??)

credit

You may (or may not) have noticed that I took a break from blogging over the summer. I toyed with the idea of posting, but decided to not place any extra 'expectations' on myself, so that I would be as free as possible to focus on just enjoying having my kids around (yes, I do actually enjoy it!), and to keep life as demand-free as possible. Was I successful in THAT overall pursuit? Well, that's entirely debateable.

One thing is for certain, I do feel a freshness and sense of clean slate with the start of every new school year. A chance to, once again, shoot for organization, some feeling of schedule and order to our life...and it usually lasts for at least a week or two!! Blogging wasn't the only thing I backed off from...I also seem to have slacked off (entirely too much) in meal planning, budgeting, planning...and generally being productive. I'm kind of seeing the negative effects of all of that slacking, and so it's time to get back at it, and start whipping life back into some semblance of order. It's gonna be so good...and healthy...and productive...

So uncharacteristic for me...

crocuses in march

moving on and Finding My Voice

20 Things...Date Nights

the little blonde with blueberry eyes

Marriage Monday: 20 things...appreciate

stay tuned!!

20 things...never assume

hand-delivered messages

a courageous new year

haters gonna hate...and I'm one of them

Sandy

I gotta be me

Journaling

Battle of the Balk

here's to being blonde...

X-treme crafting

the practicals of proverbs

big rocks

good teachers

going to the dogs...

comforts

homemade granola

a different approach

cra·zy/ˈkrāzē/ - doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results

who IS that girl???

good, dreamer, rebel

so-long sweet summertime...