Croquille Master

FREEHOLD NJ PART 4

2012-02-14T23:54:00.001-05:00

As we roll, I call back to J.T. Bumblebee for a Spam sandwich, then I hear Coreman yell; we're making them as fast as we can! "Poor guy, I think he's never been a house wife" says C.C. Han. K.C. keeps looking over his shoulder, out the side window, while J.T just keeps muttering in a voice only an alien would know; "C.C. Han you fool, watch the damn road, we don't need to wreck in grandma's Pinto". "Shut up and make the damn sandwiches" Han screams as the fuzzy green dice hanging from the mirror, blow past him out the drivers window. Coreman launches one of the Spam specials he's been assembling in the back, smacking K.C. upside the head. K.C. whirls around in his front row seat, yelling "what the F*%k, is this another one of your philosopher moments?" "Well a Spam in the head is worth two in the hand" Coreman responds. "Damn! Damn! What's wrong with you man?" J.T. yells at Coreman as he looks at the back passenger window. "Why'd the hell you smear mayo all over the window you moron? "We both step and do not step into the same rivers. We both are and are not." retorts Coreman.

The next sound heard in the Pinto was that of WAITING ON A FRIEND by the Rolling Stones, playing loudly on C.C. Han's Blackberry. They all yelled: It's her! It's her! My wife Han's thought to himself, as he hesitated to press the phones talk key. Finally he gave in and answered, putting it on speaker. This is what he heard next: You a#shole! You idiot! Where the hell are you? Fine! have it your way, cause this cat is hungry and lonely. Me and my girls are going out prowling tonight and we're going commando!!! Did ya feel that Moonsaw? Bitch!!! The next sound he heard was a MMMMMM, an AHHHH, then a click. Dead silence filled the car. Finally Coreman speaks, "More important is the fact that the human being acquires a habit of learning. He learns to learn"! J.T. busts out laughing, as K.C. spits his Vodtka all over the windshield. C.C. Han slams on the brakes and skids off the, onto the berm, stopping just inches from the man in the golden cape, hand high in the air, facing them yelling: "CITIZEN!! CITIZEN!!

HOLY SMOKES !!!! it's fu*king ROBIN!!!!

to be continued........

GRAMMY AWARDS 2012

2012-02-14T23:28:00.000-05:00

Congratulations Adele

Simply the best!!

THEY'RE COMING HOME(ENCORE)

2012-02-14T08:39:00.000-05:00

           Last U.S. combat convoy has left Iraq!
As an American, I am moved to tears.
May those of us who never walked the barren landscape or endured endless shelling be there to welcome all of you back home, as you step back onto U.S. soil.
Let us greet you with open arms, hugs, and handshakes, and recognize you for the incredible sacrifices you have made and the heroes that we all know you are.
Our sons and daughters, fathers and mothers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles and family are coming back to us.  Please give those of us who did not fight, the courage to step up and make their transition from enlisted to civilian, one of new beginnings, hope, and encouragement. This group of brave soldiers will need our support for a long time to come. As Americans let us rise and surpass the challenges they will present to us. Let us do all the right things.
God Bless us all.........

H.G. WELLS

2012-02-13T18:22:00.000-05:00

A time will come when a politician who has willfully made war and promoted international dissension will be as sure of the dock and much surer of the noose than a private homicide. It is not reasonable that those who gamble with men's lives should not stake their own.
H. G. Wells

Adapt or perish, now as ever, is nature's inexorable imperative.
H. G. Wells

Advertising is legalized lying.
H. G. Wells

Affliction comes to us, not to make us sad but sober; not to make us sorry but wise.
H. G. Wells

After people have repeated a phrase a great number of times, they begin to realize it has meaning and may even be true.
H. G. Wells

Beauty is in the heart of the beholder.
H. G. Wells

Biologically the species is the accumulation of the experiments of all its successful individuals since the beginning.
H. G. Wells

Crime and bad lives are the measure of a State's failure, all crime in the end is the crime of the community.
H. G. Wells

MAN ON THE SHEEN (ENCORE)

2012-02-11T21:13:00.001-05:00

As I sit here wondering about my life, the screen opens up to people trying to find themselves loving life and knowing that darkness was all that held their fate. A break here or there would have been great, but the gods often laugh at fools. No money no fame! Just another pair of jerks walking down a path that leads to nowhere. We could see the lights on the neon sign, on the road up ahead flashing FOOD& BEER. Then it happened; a naked woman running right pass us into the darkness with a crazy man in hot pursuit, then he stopped and turned on a dime. I said "Charlie, it's you!" He kept screaming "Tiger blood, Tiger blood! Come back here, your a Goddess, your a Goddess!" Then he says to me "Hahn, C. C. Hahn, where did you come from man? Here take this, take this!" and he hands me two benjamins and then runs off into the darkness, still chasing his Goddess.

I never told Sally I didn't have two nickels in my pocket. Now thanks to Charlie, I can afford to feed my own Goddess. As Sally and I walked to the diner, I strolled up to the bar and I shouted I'll have two TIGER BLOODS please! The bartender turns and says "you're one of his friends? Look there'll be no Tiger Blood in here tonight unless I see cash, right here, right now!" I pulled a benjamin outa my pocket and slapped it on the counter and I said "Here will this do? Now give me two cheeseburgers delux with that Tiger Blood and make it pronto!" As the bartender pulled back from the counter he yelled " Yes Sir Mr. Benny!" Cold and wet, Sally turned to me and said "your the luckiest man on earth!" I turned to her and looked at those beautiful ruby lips and said "That's cause I got you Babe!" I watched her walk to the juke box and slip in a dollar. The next thing I heard drifting through the air was Knights in White Satin......Then suddenly I heard a voice behind me screaming WINNING...WINNING...it was Charlie with his Goddess draped over his shoulder. He comes to the table and leans in to me, the plump a#s of his Goddess staring me in the face. "So this is what success smells like !!!!"

FESTIVE STRAWBERRY WINE PIE

2012-02-10T21:34:00.000-05:00

Ingredients:
2 cups granulated sugar
6 Tbls cornstarch
1 pkg Jello strawberry flavored gelatin, 4-serving size
1 cups water

1 cup Kendall-Jackson Chardonnay
4 pints strawberries, hulled and halved
2 9-inch Pillsbury pie shells, baked and cooled
1 14oz can of Reddi-wip

Preparation:Combine and cook sugar, cornstarch, jello, wine, and water until thick; let stand and cool. Spread halved berries into the baked pie shells. Pour cooked sauce over berries and refrigerate until thoroughly chilled.
Top whole pie or slices with sweet whipped cream.

Kendall-Jackson Wines

REDDI-WIP

Orange Julius

2012-02-10T20:49:00.002-05:00

Orange Julius

Mandisa - Waiting For Tomorrow

2012-02-10T12:36:00.001-05:00

HEARTBEAT (ENCORE)

2012-02-09T15:20:00.000-05:00

I drove my brand new Silverado truck to the liquor store, feeling like I was back again. I noticed before I went in, a small dog, a beagle, attached to a tree outside. I patted him on the head and then I went in. Inside there was a man standing in front of me; in a line that was out the door. It was Election Day, the store had been closed all day. The faces looked more like mine than his. I spoke with him and he told me a familiar tale, one that I had heard before. One of loss and love. He spoke of an accident that took his memory and his job away and literally left him on the streets. There was no sadness in him, only hope and thankfulness. Leaving, he said goodbye to me, he walked out the door and gathered the small dog I had encountered earlier. As he walked across the bridge into the homeless unknown, I could hear my heart beat.

GREY GOOSE® L'Orange Bangkok Thailand

2012-02-08T16:07:00.000-05:00

A bold and adventurous blend of Grey Goose L'Orange flavored Vodka and Noilly Pratt Original French Dry Vermouth, accented by juicy mango and the savory notes of red chili and coriander leaves.

Ingredients
1 1/2 parts GREY GOOSE®L'Orange

1/3 parts NOILLY PRAT® Original French Dry Vermouth

1 1/2 parts Juiced Alphonso Mango

1 Red Chili De-Seeded

3 Coriander Leaves

1/3 parts Simple Syrup

Nicki Minaj - Save Me [Official Music Video]

2012-02-08T12:55:00.000-05:00

Mason Williams - Classical Gas - ORIGINAL STEREO VERSION

2012-02-07T22:05:00.000-05:00

February is "National Hot Breakfast Month"

2012-02-01T16:41:00.003-05:00

Orange French Toast

10 slices raisin bread

2 eggs, slightly beaten

1 c orange juice

1 1/2 c crushed vanilla wafers

butter

Combine eggs and orange juice. Quickly dip bread into egg mixture, then into vanilla wafer crumbs. Fry in 1 Tbsp butter on both sides until brown. Use additional butter as needed. Serve with syrup.

David Guetta - Without You ft. Usher

2012-01-28T20:50:00.002-05:00

2012/ OSCARS

2012-01-27T17:36:00.009-05:00

Oscar Nominations 2012!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jennifer Lawrence announces the nominees during the 84th Academy Awards Nominations Announcement, Jan. 24, 2012 in Beverly Hills, California.
Best Actors
Demian Bichir - A Better Life
George Clooney – The Descendants
Jean Dujardin – The Artist
Gary Oldman – Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Brad Pitt – Moneyball

Jan. 24, 2012

Best Picture
"The Artist" Thomas Langmann, Producer
"The Descendants" Jim Burke, Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor, Producers
"Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close" Scott Rudin, Producer
"The Help" Brunson Green, Chris Columbus and Michael Barnathan, Producers
"Hugo" Graham King and Martin Scorsese, Producers
"Midnight in Paris" Letty Aronson and Stephen Tenenbaum, Producers
"Moneyball" Michael De Luca, Rachael Horovitz and Brad Pitt, Producers
"The Tree of Life" Nominees to be determined
"War Horse" Steven Spielberg and Kathleen Kennedy, Producers
BEST Actor in a Leading Role
Demián Bichir in "A Better Life"
George Clooney in "The Descendants"
Jean Dujardin in "The Artist"
Gary Oldman in "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy"
Brad Pitt in "Moneyball"

Best ActressGlenn Close, "Albert Nobbs"
Viola Davis, "The Help"
Rooney Mara, "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo"
Meryl Streep, "The Iron Lady"
Michelle Williams, "My Week With Marilyn

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FREEHOLD - PART 3 (ENCORE)

2012-01-26T13:00:00.001-05:00

As we roll down I-276, my Blackberry blows up! It's "her" number flashing. J. T. Bumblebee screams, "man you've bought it now"! I look for a place to stop. There's a 7-Eleven up ahead; I pull my Grandmother's 78 Pinto into an open space as the Blackberry continues to play: "The Rolling Stones - Waiting on a Friend".

The brakes grind us to a halt just 3 ft. from the cement stopper. I answer my phone and hear the voice of she who must be obeyed. "Hello", I said. She responds "who the f*%k do you think you are"?
"You've seen more balls fall out of a shopping cart then anybody I know!" said my wife. Those are the first words I heard in that crazy voice that I know so well! "Hey Han, do we need to take off your Depends", yells K. C. I look back with a kill stare reserved only for her, now it's for him; my best friend.

Then J. T. Bumblebee chimes in " Hey if you need to wipe your tears, I'll take off my pants, "HA !HA! HA! HA!" What a band of jokers, I think to myself ,as I roll my eyes. Finally I explode and tell all the idiots to get out of the f*%king car and go get some chips, ice, or go drain the lizards. As they exit the car, I hear her voice again.

She's screaming in my ear, "How could you? We don't have $400 for you to blow on your wrestling and your dumb ass buddies! It's Friday night! I warned you the last time you did this, you would pay if you ever did it again. Me and your buddies girlfriends are going out tonight and were gonna have a real good time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"What the f*%k does that supposed to mean"? I scream in the phone. She coyly replies "that means my good black stockings and my 6" red pumps"! Click goes the phone...

I literally shake in the car from anger, the Blackberry goes silent and dark. As I look up, I see the three stooges with Icee's in their hands, smiling like lemmings, sauntering to the car. K. C. says "is mama angry at you"? I just glare, and then Corman chimes in "everything belongs to the Gods, and wise men are friends of the Gods. All things are common among friends; therefore everything belongs to wise men". Bumblebee just yells "is he for real?"

To be continued.......

John Hiatt - Have a Little Faith in Me

2012-01-25T17:06:00.000-05:00

RETURN OF THE KING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ENCORE)

2012-01-25T12:51:00.000-05:00

In a world of pathos, the rivers are so fast you smell the rotting heads of the fish . Chaos has become a god, driven by hope and freedom. While the world waits in the back alleys for their food. Crack has never left us as it pushes the pipe down our throats giving us, but a moment of freedom from the last hit. Damn this life is good, whores everywhere you look asses so big they block out the sun. Perfume so strong the wind carries it for miles.

Walking women in sheets of red throw the baby across the road with his bath water! When the wise man yells for change the stone throwers gather their rocks. As the brave man falls to his knees, and the blood runs from his veins he just yells why!!!!!!!!!!! The stones never stop. They rain down on him like death! The blood flows, as the rats drink it like water. Asses walk away, muttering he was just a rebel without a cause! A small child looks on with tears in her eyes. The rats feed on the bodies of dead heroes, as the pig waits for his share. The sun shines bright on that thing. We will never know! To the artist is sometimes granted a sudden, transcendent insight which serves in this matter for experience. A flash, and where previously the brain held a dead fact, the soul grasps a living truth! At moments we are all artists!

REMEMBER JAPAN(ENCORE)

2012-01-21T17:10:00.000-05:00

Without looking forward to tomorrow every moment,you must think only of this day and hour...You concentrate on zen practice...thinking that there is only this day and this hour. After that it becomes truly easy.

DOGEN(1231-53)

MINDFIELDS(encore)

2012-01-19T19:09:00.000-05:00

As I lay sleeping in my bed, I write this to you: The woman was in her backyard, the water hose is frozen, she picked it up to see what she could do about it. The nozzle contained a ball of ice. She lit a match, to attempt to melt it. The end of the hose caught on fire, surprised, she laid it on a piece of carpet on the ground in the backyard. The carpet began to smoke furiously, as she watched and wondered how is this possible.

A voice called out to her "Bette, I have a date for you". Bette had been alone for a long time now, the voice calling her sounded familiar; almost like it was her sister who had been dead for many years. "He is coming to see you right now", the voice then said. A mysterious figure suddenly appeared and walks straight to her, the face is not visible and it's wearing a dark hooded rob. All the while, the carpet continues to burn. She wonders what all this means as the figure continues to approach her. He is on top of her quickly, only a foot away, even at that close distance she cannot make out a face. Something strange is happening to her. The carpet continues to burn. There is darkness all around her now. NO! NO! NO! she screams !! She kicks at the robbed figure, and screams again and again and again. Then she finally knows: it is DEATH !!

To Sir With Love-American Idol

2012-01-17T05:17:00.001-05:00

THIS IS GODOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2012-01-16T07:08:00.002-05:00

Sometimes we don't know where we are going but, we know where we came from! The stars give us signals to light our way. The power of art is we never see it!!Paintings hang on a wall to tell us we are mere mortals waiting for Godot! What the F**K do we need. There in the hallway was the most beautiful women I had ever seen. As she walked toward me I fell to my knees, she lifted me up her perfume smelled like a million roses. Then a child runs bye yelling "I EAT I EAT"!!!!! Then she kissed me so hard all I could hear were bells. She wore a silk dress then ripped It OFF!! Threw It to the floor! Her skin was bronze! Then she slowly walked away. I yell out I don't even know your name!!! She walked back and whispered In my ear I AM GODOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BARREN WOLF/ PART 1

2012-01-12T17:39:00.000-05:00

KOOKS, they're running the asylum. I live with one everyday. He stands 6 foot even, and the things that come out of his mouth make my head spin. He seems not to be dazzled by real life. He wakes only at night, wandering the streets like a vampire looking for his next victim. Snow white hair and blue eyes, he stalks the f**king night. My sister was his first casualty. They were an item before she found out his only ambition in life was to wash dishes at the finest truck stops in town. When he got his wish at 'Gay and Oil', she threw his clothes into the street. So I took him in, what a day that was. On his first night he said "I will boil some eggs for the tuna fish." I should have known better, but just then my blackberry explodes. It's my sister yelling at the top of her lungs, "NO YOU DIDN'T TAKE THAT WORTHLESS S**T INTO YOUR HOME!!!!" Before I can reply BARREN WOLF comes running from the kitchen yelling "the eggs are on FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I call 911 the firemen respond, their water and hoses everywhere. The firemen look at me and say "WHAT THE F**K HAVE GUYS BEEN SMOKING, WEED???????" As they leave, I look over in the corner, there sits barren wolf with a can in his hands, all he says is, "WANT SOME TUNA???"

FREEHOLD, NJ..... PART 2 (ENCORE)

2012-01-12T02:40:00.000-05:00

As I pulled up to the Belmont Village Apartments, there was J. T. Bumblebee standing by the pool, his beat up old blue Coleman cooler sitting next to him on the concrete and a huge brown grocery bag tucked under his arm. Rolling up to the parking spot in back, a black 4-legged monstrosity of a dog is laying right in the middle of the only open spot. J. T. screams "STOP! STOP!" As I hit my brakes hard, the rotors grind me to a jerking halt. "DAMMIT BUMBLEBEE" what the f*#k was that! J. T. drops the bag and rushes out to the slobbering mutt. "What is that?" I asked. "It's my DAWG MAN, my DAWG" J. T. responded. Go get your bag MAN, I'll grab the f*#king cooler, lets get this shit in the car and go grab K. C.. Hell, I still gotta pick up Corman.

J. T. shuffles slowly towards the car, bag in hand, head down muttering "It was my DAWG MAN, it was my DAWG". I tossed the cooler in the hatchback of my 78 Pinto, jumped in the drivers seat, turned the key, and floored it as we took off for the front of the apartments. The damn dog howling as we pulled away. We could still hear him as we rounded the corner of the front of the building. When I pulled up to the last unit at the end on the front, there was no K. C. in sight. Damn him! I know he's up to something. What the hell could it be this time!! Out runs a scantily clad chick, her shoes in her hand. She jumps into a corvette convertible sitting right next to us, smiles at us and then tears out of the complex like a maniac. I look back at J. T. Bumblebee, shaking my head, there he is with bread, Spam, and cheese spread all over the back seat making sandwiches for the trip. I look up at the sky and say " GOD, why me?". When I glance back at the Apartment entrance, out walks K. C. in his underwear and a goofy smile to go with em'. He asks "is it time to go to FREEHOLD?" "Yeah Man, yeah!" I said. K. C. struts back into his apartment, as I pound my head on the dashboard. The next thing I hear is Bumblebee asking me "would you like a sandwich?" After waiting 15 minutes in the car, K. C. finally comes out, throws his duffel bag in the hatchback, parks his ass in the front seat, and we take off for Corman's.

Damn, it's already taken a freaking half hour to get the three of us in the car, I thought to myself. I hope Corman's got his shit ready to go. The traffic on Gulph Rd. is so screwed up on this Friday morning. Everybody and his Mother must be on the road today. Finally, I spotted the sign for the Abrams Run apartments. Thank f*#king God, were here. As we pulled up to his place, there stood Corman on the sidewalk outside, dressed in white linen from head to toe. Wearing a pair of John Lennon shades, with lemon tinted lenses. The silver medallion hanging round his neck, blazing in the Sun as he stands there holding his leather bag. I look at K. C. as he looks back at me, and screams, "it's the Messiah himself"! "Who the hell does he think he is?" K. C. says. As I throw the car in park, Corman steps off the curb and takes his bag back to the hatchback. After he closes the back, he walks around to the driver's side and opens the back door. Bumblebee looks up and says "would you like a sandwich? Corman leans over and brushes the crumbs off the seat as he says "Zeno of Elea would say...the quickest runner can never catch the slowest, since the pursuer must first reach the point whence the pursued started, so that the slower must always hold the lead". K. C. and I scream in unison " Get in, shut up, let's go! We've gotta get to Freehold!" Ah, 10 minutes later we finally make it to the highway, bound for the Garden State.

to be continued......

NOT ALONE!!!! PART 1 (encore)

2012-01-10T22:00:00.001-05:00

As he sat in the control room his headphones began to buzz, then he heard a voice saying "WE ARE HERE". Dale Rogers was the Chief Engineer on the New Mexico S.E.T.I. (Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence) project. He dropped his headphones and ran to his bosses. Their collective faces turned pale and then they all rushed down the hall to the control room. They are really out there Dale! They are really out there! The voices from the Bose speakers continued saying "WE ARE HERE" over and over again. You could hear their jaws hitting the floor as they listened to the constant refrain of "WE ARE HERE" echoing around the control room.

The Samsung Visionary II monitors flashed on. Dale and his associates were shocked by what appeared on the monitors. They were green beings with blazing red eyes, vaguely human, with translucent fluttering wings. And over and over again the speakers blared "WE ARE HERE". Dale thought of all the myths he had ever heard, of all the Greek Gods, and tears ran down his face. The men behind him stood like statues, transfixed in their awe. Phillip Thomas fell to the ground dead; felled by a heart attack. He was the only ONE that never believed that they were out there. In a state of shock, the men rushed to their fallen friend, and tried unsuccessfully to revive him. Derek Jones, the associate closest to Phillip continued administering CPR and Mouth to Mouth long after the others had given up. There they stood, all but Dale, gathered around the lifeless body of Phillip laying on the cool tile floor. Dale rushes to the microphone near the monitor and with a push of the button, screams "IF YOU ARE REALLY HERE, SHOW US A SIGN"! There is a pause and then a blazing blue bolt is emitted from the monitor that strikes the body of Phillip Thomas on the floor. Suddenly Phillip sits straight up and gasps. Derek stays with Phillip as the others including Dale, who has tears running down his face, gather once again in front of the monitor, this time with broad smiles, watching the images of the Aliens fade out of view. Then suddenly Dale speaks into the mic and asks "What do

you need from us"? "YOUR PLANET" they replied. The monitors go dark and the speakers began to hum. The terror on their faces drained all the color from their melting skin! "On your knees dogs, before your masters!" A voice from the darkness screamed!!..............................