“Be not afraid; for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which shall be to all the people.”—Luke 2:10

The post Honest Advent: Day 25 appeared first on Crossroads CO.

“The Child continued to grow and become strong, increasing in wisdom; and the grace of God was upon Him.”—Luke 2:40

The post Honest Advent: Day 24 appeared first on Crossroads CO.

“Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his start as it rose, and we have come to worship him.” Matthew 2:2

The eve of Christmas Eve is upon us. For my family and our church, that means the start of a hectic 24 hours. Tonight, we will open the doors for our first of four candlelight services where we pause together and experience the beauty and mystery of the birth of Jesus yet again. But still, I have meals to plan and presents to wrap. There are last minute details to take care of for the services. The truth is many things will pull at me and compete for my attention over the next 36 hours.

Today’s Advent reading is a gentle reminder to me to pay attention over the next 36 hours. The spirit whispers, “Ryan, pay attention to the gifts I am giving you: your family, the congregation, your friends.” The divine always needs to remind me to be attentive to the person and not the task. Sure, the Magi had a task, but they were focused on the person. When we moved to Colorado we started “Crazy Christmas Eve Family Pancake Breakfast.” At “Crazy Christmas Eve Family Pancake Breakfast,” we all put on crazy Christmas clothes and go out for crazy pancakes before the craziness of multiple services begins. It is our way of taking a breath and being together since we know we will be exhausted at the end of the day. It is one simple way we could pay attention to each other in the middle of the chaos.

Perhaps you too have a crowded schedule these next 36 hours. Maybe you have meals to plan, presents to wrap, a beautiful candlelight service to attend and a few last-minute batteries to buy. In the midst of it all, don’t forget to pay attention to the gifts the spirit is giving you; not the gifts under the tree, but the people in your presence.

—Ryan Howell

The post Honest Advent: Day 23 appeared first on Crossroads CO.

“And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.” Luke 2:8

It’s often asked, “What’s the best Christmas present you ever received?” What’s UNEXPECTED is to hear, “What’s the best gift you’ve ever given?” My answer to the latter question is also UNEXPECTED.

I’m fairly generous. But I dislike shopping. Fortunately for our family and friends, Sherrie enjoys buying gifts. Early the morning of Christmas 2003 I created a different kind of Christmas gift. Unexpectedly, my gift to each person was one word (along with a phrase explanation) printed on holiday paper. Each word described or could inspire the person. Before judging me a cheapskate, know that my son describes the word I gave him as his best Christmas present ever.

Bret was a 15-year-old whose classmates towered over him. The word I gave him was TITAN—“Colossal size, strength, and achievement.” All eyes, including Bret’s, teared up when I gave him the paper and explained he was a giant in my mind. That night he created a Titan display in his bedroom. That word became a tattoo on his upper back three years later. He is still short but extremely muscular…and a titan as a Marine, a husband, a dad, and a son. If I know he’s in a tough situation, I sometimes write him a one-word text. He quickly sends a reply of gratitude.

The book of John describes Jesus as The Word, an UNEXPECTED description. The right word—whether celestial or earthly—is often UNEXPECTED…and powerful.

The post Honest Advent: Day 22 appeared first on Crossroads CO.

“The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.” Isaiah 7:14

There are two kinds of breaking. Breaking bad and breaking good. We can binge on either one. Sometimes at the moment of the breaking, we get to decide which it will be. The flavor of breaking in Honest Advent is what the author calls “a healing breaking—to finally see what you have hoped for for so long.”

For several years there was an auditorium host who led the team when we had a Saturday night service. He had back problems so the first thing he always asked me to do before the service was walk on his back. Yep. I’d take off my shoes, he’d lay on the floor and as I walked my way up and down his spine he would moan, sigh and count. “Argh…ugh…ahhhh.” That’s 1. I’d take another step or two. “Uuugh….2, (grimace) 3, 4. Ahhhhh.” All the way up to 7. Sometimes to get #7 to crack, I’d grab the underside of the table and pull up in order to put more pressure on #7 to get it to break. Every Saturday night I would be a healing breaking for this man. And not just because it saved him a trip to the chiropractor.

There was another kind of healing breaking going on in this man’s life. A few years back he wrote this note to me. “As someone who does not believe in God, I’m sure you can’t fathom how much it means to have a place like Crossroads in my life. It is nice to have such a welcoming place, where I can come every single week, while I continue to seek and find answers. Thank you for giving me something to chew on….”

There’s a whole lot of breaking going on. What healing breaking are you longing for this Christmas? Perhaps you could be the one to “walk on another’s back” and be the catalyst for a healing breaking. Count on it. Ahhhhhhhh.

The post Honest Advent: Day 21 appeared first on Crossroads CO.

“Today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” Luke 2:11

Many years ago, I had a dream that I was walking down a long narrow dirt road. Barefoot and pregnant. Full term. I waddled next to a large wagon that carried all my earthly possessions. The road led to a mission supporting women of domestic abuse. I left all my possessions there and then turned around to walk the long narrow dirt road, but as I did I could feel the pressures of an upcoming birth in my hips and belly. I started to get nervous realizing I was going to have the baby, alone, somewhere on a dirt road. But just then all the women from the mission came running up and surrounded me to help deliver the baby. And I woke up. Goop.

The post Honest Advent: Day 20 appeared first on Crossroads CO.

“While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.” Luke 2:6-7

The Christmas and Thanksgiving tables are important symbols for our family. They symbolize for us the power of hospitality and the divine call to include. When we lived in Maine, one Christmas Eve we had an idea. We decided to invite anyone we knew who did not have family in town to come and be with us on Christmas Eve. We told them to come over to our house after the last candlelight service (we lived walking distance from the building) for a huge Christmas breakfast feast. What a night we had! That one night turned into a tradition and each year we would sit and think about who needed to be at our table that year. In some ways it was our way of making sure there was room in the inn.

The post Honest Advent: Day 19 appeared first on Crossroads CO.

“Then the angel showed me a river with the water of life, clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb. It flowed down the center of the Main Street. On each side of the river grew a tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit… The leaves were used for medicine to heal the nations.” Revelation 22:1-2

Confession: I reluctantly lied to Mom a few days before her death. She lived in the same facility where my 94-year-old dad died 10 months before. Her 94-year-old mind was sharp but as death drew closer she sometimes drifted off to a different state of being – somewhere between heaven and earth.

One night I read Bible passages and prayed for her. Then she gave me a quizzical look. I asked her who I was. After a pause, she said, “Don?” That was Dad’s name and I have a strong resemblance to him when he was my age. As she awaited my answer, I pondered whether to correct her or, um, lie. I chose the latter.

“Yes,” I said, “I’m Don.” Her face lit up and she asked me what heaven was like. That night she needed for a few minutes to be “WITH” her earthly husband of 72 years. The next night she listened to more Bible verses. Then her face took on that strange expression. “Do you know who I am?” I expected to reprise my role as Don, but Mom threw me a major-league curve ball. “Jesus?”

Yikes! Tough gig. I lied again. “Yes, I am.” And I told this lifelong believer that I would soon embrace her and love her forever in heaven. Her radiant smile told me she needed to be “WITH” Jesus (a pretend one) briefly that night before being WITH the real Him for eternity.

The post Honest Advent: Day 18 appeared first on Crossroads CO.

“When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him.” Matthew 2:3

If we have but two choices, heaven or fear, most of us will select heaven which is peace. We would much rather have a kingdom of heaven than a kingdom of fear as the kingdom implements strategies and policies to enable all of us to live together.

In a kingdom of fear, we can destroy all differing opinions and cancel the uniqueness found in the world. In a kingdom of heaven, we love everyone, and uniqueness is a given. Heaven provides the tranquility and serenity that most people desire.

We know we should love one another, and we also know we are all different. Yet, many people have lost their lives because of their uniqueness and difference, and we have yet to overcome selfishness and greed. There are many disturbances, anathemas to peace. Peace is directly related to the actions of individuals, but I think it is a gift from God.

God commands us to seek peace so we should make every effort to do what leads to peace. We have a choice to let God’s peace rule, or to rely on ourselves and reject His peace. Therein lies the differences between the kingdoms of heaven and fear.

The world will continue to have conflicts. Peace does not come so easily. While peace is understood in many forms – peace within, peace among humans and peace between God and man – I believe our Prince of Peace combined all of these into the idea of a “perfect peace,” or the promise of peace that is perfect harmony. No discordant notes allowed! Peace is the great calm that is offered to each of us. In the kingdom of heaven there is mutuality. I am striving for PEACE, aren’t you?

The post Honest Advent: Day 17 appeared first on Crossroads CO.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.” John 1:1-3

“It’s a simple fact that everyone has parents. I know not everyone has two parents around, but we are all the by-product of two people—and that comes with a lot of wonder, weirdness, and weight.

“It’s a wonder that we are our own person, but we can see so much of ourselves in the way we act and look.”

The Wonder: Often I felt like the black sheep of my family, which began at my ninth birthday party. I had all the girls from my class come for a sleepover, and the one girl, who was like the class bully, looked at a family photo and said, “Why don’t you look like any of your family?” This was the first time I had felt insecurity about my adoption and began questioning who I look like, where I come from, and much more. The older I got and less answers I had, the more insecure I grew.

The Weirdness: In 2014, while searching for my biological mother, I discovered that she had passed away a few months prior. Grieving someone you never knew, but have a natural connection to was a rollercoaster of an experience. As time went on, I still wanted to continue the journey of looking for other biological family members. In 2018, I was given Ancestry DNA to see if it would help me find any answers. After receiving the results of DNA matches, I began messaging many strangers. One day, I got a message back from this gal who happens to be my biological dad’s half sister. I made the awkward “I think I’m your child” phone call. Sure enough, that man was my father, who had no idea I existed. In this same year, I found out my biological mom was also an adoptee, which added a layer to my journey to figure out who her biological parents are. I did get to meet her adoptive sister and niece. Walking into the Mexican restaurant in Thornton, I made eye contact with strangers who began crying. I was greeted with hugs and the words, “You look just like her.” It was weird hearing the words I never expected to hear. During our time together, I was able to learn about my biological mom—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Even though some of the facts were difficult to hear, I was in awe of the experience.

The Weight: Years and years of searching the internet, Facebook, and trying to put puzzle pieces together, I found mom’s mom. In March of 2022, I got to meet my biological grandmother. It was a surreal feeling getting to see someone I resemble, to hear stories that connected my personality. For many years, I never understood the wonder of looking into the eyes of someone and understanding nature versus nurture. That time spent and phone calls with my biological grandmother added a weight (in a good way) that I never understood. It was a weight lifted off my shoulders.

When I think of my story, Scott Erickson’s writing, and Jesus’ story, I feel like I have a special perspective to the idea of Jesus as Father. The idea of being loved through my journey of being an adoptee has opened my eyes to the reality that even if we feel like we may not fit this exact mold or idea of person based on our life journey, we still have a connection with Jesus, even if it feels distant or incomprehensible. In my own spiritual journey, there are times where I struggle to comprehend the idea of Jesus as Father, but I am thankful for my perspective of knowing that even if I don’t feel connected or struggle or see the ways that I am made in the image of God, I still am.

The post Honest Advent: Day 16 appeared first on Crossroads CO.