Crowned Regal

It Ain't Easy Bein' a Diva!

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Tue, 06 Jun 2017 17:08:00 +0000

This doesn't always occur, however, some alopecians experience not only hair loss, but some types of skin irritatons and nail loss. It depends on the types of alopecia one might have and the individual. Some medications may even cause these conditions.

Yeah, I know, boring stuff right?...But for us divas this is major business!

I pride myself on keeping my manicures and pedicures up to par! There's nothing like going out with your honey on a romantic dinner date and the lighting creates this ambiance which causes my beautifully manicured nails to glow and my stylishly showcased pedicure in my 3 inch heels to shine like they're on display in a gallery. I don't know why but something about having a fresh mani-pedi, gripping the stem of a wine glass, crossing my legs, and staring into my Honey's eyes makes me glow all over. I would think that my Honey would enjoy this as well.

But I digress...How can you feel good in a setting like this with nails looking like that? ( See photos below). What does one do when these little challenges crop up? Well, I guess it's different for everybody. I can only speak from my experience. I've had a few successful solutions as well as some epic fails to say the least.

Here are some things one could possibly try:

Cancel the date

Ball my hands into knuckles and curl my toes under while. wearing some flip flops.

Constantly lick my lips to distract my Honey from looking down at my hands and feet.

Tell my date the truth about what happened. ( This might make me paranoid. I'd just keep thinking he is staring.)

Some better suggestions:

For on the fly repairs try cutting pieces of tea bag, placing on the nail ( provided there is no infection ) then paint with clear acrylic nail polish. Paint with nail color.

You can purchase store bought adhesive tape for nails which you can do the same thing as the tea bag method.

Most importantly, you must treat the underlying problem by either by treating internally with supplements and antibiotics or topical treatments such as creams or ointments.

As it stands, this disease called alopecia continues to evolve in the most unexpected ways. I'm bald from not having hair and sometimes not having nails. Who knew?

Thank GOD I have skin and the where with all to recognize my blessings!

In the end it's all in a day in the life of an alopecian.

And Nothing will stop me from being a diva! I just have to work a little differently and a little harder than some.

"Be bald and be happy!"

Love~Crowned Regal

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Standing in Line to Surrender

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 12:25:00 +0000

Usually, I don’t like standing in line for anything! I’ve always been impatient like that. I don’t even like being the first one in line!
Seems lately I’ve been standing in line waiting for yet another phase of my journey to accepting the fact that my type of alopecia is permanent. What? There’s another phase to this? I’ve accepted that my hair loss is permanent and also the way that I look without hair. It’s the unexpected things that seem to crop up with the type of alopecia I have that can get a little trying sometimes.
I’ve accepted so much since the beginning of my hair loss and have gotten through some rough times. That’s all I ever seem to talk about…acceptance, acceptance…acceptance. By nature, it’s what we do when we “hit a wall”, when we can’t go any further, when we have no other choice. What’s acceptance? Acceptance is the fact or state of being accepted or acceptable. That’s the dictionary’s explanation and for the most part, I think it’s a valid assessment. However, what that statement doesn’t address is all the work it takes to arrive at that “state of being”. I can tell you that my own experiences have proven that the road to acceptance was hard work and it’s a work in progress. You’ve got to stay on top of your game. Some days you come out swinging only to get knocked down to the ground but, you do get up.
And some days I get tired of having to accept the fact that I have alopecia. Some days I just feel content with “standing in line to surrender” to everything associated with having alopecia. Having alopecia can come with a lot of baggage such as the negative social stigmatisms, emotional and self-esteem issues and then there’s medical aspect of it all. And for some of us, we are not physically sick in the way most people make the association with diseases. I feel that puts us in a strange position sometimes. I’m finding out that there is no straight line to acceptance. There are peaks and valleys along the way. I realized that some days I’ am not going to feel good about my “acceptance” all the time. This is not a “woe is me” rant about how hard it is to have alopecia. I’m just keeping it real! I don’t feel good about the fact that I have alopecia everyday! I’m human!
I admire and respect all the men, woman and children I’ve met and spoken to who have had this disease all their lives. I think of all the different phases of their lives they’ve gone through and how they handled all those moments that their alopecia comes into question. Losing my hair at age 46, I’ve had to learn all those “little defense mechanisms” they’ve mastered in the course of their lives, all rolled up into one huge “crash course”! This is why I can’t beat up on myself for not “feeling good “about having to accept my hair loss every day. The point is that I do accept it, and with acceptance comes empowerment, education, sharing information, and this list can go on and on.
So for me, “standing in line to surrender” doesn’t mean “giving in” to alopecia.
I think it forces me to look at “what’s good about it” and focus on the positive, documenting, sharing information, working with medical researchers and most of all connecting with people like me who have real stories that I’ve become inspired and empowered by every day. The more we put our stories out there, the easier it will be for the next person who “googles” the word alopecia to put a face and head to this unpredictable disease alopecia.
Just this once…I don’t mind standing in line so much.

What Are You Staring At?

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 12:49:00 +0000

A while back I was walking through the West Palm Beach airport in Florida and spotted a bald woman walking in front of me. She was scheduled to take the same flight as me. At the time, I had a head full of hair. I remember thinking, “Did she choose to look like that? How could she walk out the door like that? I would have covered up, worn a wig or something. “She appeared to be healthy and was dressed attractively. I also remember feeling sorry for her. I just couldn’t imagine having to walk around in public like that. I assumed then that this had to be her choice... I pictured her to be an “artsy” type of person…you know the type…folks that march to a different drum than everyone else…creative people that don’t mind calling attention to themselves. How narrow minded of me to have these thoughts.
Since becoming an alopecian, there are times I find myself becoming agitated when people stare at me the same way. I’ll even become angry and wonder what they all find so amusing that they are unable to take their eyes off of me. Are they just staring at my strange fashion sense when looking at my colorful head wraps?... Or are they staring today because I have long curly hair and yesterday I had a sassy looking short hair cut? Maybe they are thinking that I’m some “backwards chameleon” looking to get attention on a busy work day morning. Nonetheless, I get agitated and sometimes grow weary of the stares. Sometimes I get so angry that I think, “I’m just going to freak them all out tomorrow by going “topless”, meaning nothing on my head that is!
Recently, I thought of the lady in the airport. Wow, I used to be like the people that stare at me. I’ve been so hard on those people, always wondering why the hell they were looking at me. I would get so angry at their curiosity.
Now that the shoe is on the other foot I see things much differently. People are going to stare and wonder. It’s only natural to do this if in the mundane routine of their day, they see someone or something that is different. With the type of alopecia I have it is sometimes impossible to put on a wig or hat to blend into the crowd.
AND…How about this novel idea? Maybe they think my bald head is beautiful!
Trying to control how people react to me is a waste of my time and energy. It serves absolutely no purpose to do this. That’s way too much weight to carry on my shoulders. I have enough baggage in trying to deal with the ramifications of protecting the thinning skin on my scalp from the heat and cold environments. For me, it’s about perceiving myself in a positive manner. Everything else is conducive to that very thought. I need to rely on my own voice of integrity in order to turn that negative energy I was feeling into a positive one…But, how does one go about doing this in a society that views having hair as a sign of health, beauty and status? I believe different answers to that question exist and the answers are as different as the individual posing the question. For me…, BE HEALTHY! I’ve decided to love what’s left of my body. There’s so much more to my physical being than my hair. As far as what I possess inside of me, well there are so many layers there, they are too numerous to mention, lots of which I have yet to discover.

Many of us don’t realize how much we hide behind our hair every day. It’s what frames our face. It makes us feel good especially when each strand is laying just the right way.
Framing my face still seems like the natural thing to do some days since I wasn’t bald all of my life. So, sometimes I overcompensate by wearing colorful head wraps, makeup, jewelry and clothes. It’s how I deal with some of my buried emotions regarding not having hair. I admire people who have had alopecia all their lives and appear to take not having hair all in stride. This is a learning process for me but I’m happy with just realizing that losing my hair in this stage of my life is just that…a learning process.
From time to time I may find the negative thoughts creeping back, that’s only human nature. Being able to put things back into the proper perspective is not always an easy feat for some of us. Maybe, I will learn to master this skill, hopefully to perfection. If not, I’ll just be content at being, “human”.

New Philadelphia Alopecia Support Group

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 17:08:00 +0000

THE PHILADELPHIA ALOPECIA MEETUP GROUP

Crowned Regal, Founder of CROWNEDREGAL.COM has formed a local alopecia MeetUP group in Philadelphia dedicated to offering support and resources for people who have hair loss due to the autoimmune disease alopecia. The group was founded on December 1, 2008 by Annette Moore aka Crowned Regal. It's purpose is to provide face to face meetings for people with alopecia in the Philadelphia and nearby surrounding areas. Ms.Moore has plenty of experience regarding this disease. She knows first hand what issues "alopecians" are faced with on a daily basis. She was diagnosed with two forms of alopecia in 2007. She also brings with her, experience as a motivational speaker. Her story was recently featured on a local ABC affiliate television station and is dedicated to spreading awareness to alopecia through her official website, crownedregal.com, YouTube videos, awareness workshops and events and now as the founder and organizer of the Philadelphia Alopecia MeetUp Group.
Read more

Some Woman's Online Dating Profile

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 10:46:00 +0000

SCREEN NAME: beautyinsideandout

PROFILE PICTURE: Not Available

I'm a compassionate and loving person.

I am spiritually grounded and sensitive to other people's needs.

I enjoy sports, especially football and like the outdoors.

In the past, I have handled adversity well.

I don't require much to be happy, I want someone to love and respect me, care about me, someone respectable and appreciates the basic necessities of life.

Meeting people is something I enjoy.

Everyone has something important to say.
Give me a topic of conversation and I'll find something interesting to say about it. If you can't come up with a good topic, I'll find one that is interesting to both of us.

I'm a great listener.

I've made some huge mistakes in my life but have learned from them and moved on to better things.

I am an honest and supportive person.

Computer forensics, graphics, website design and building computers is one of my favorite pastimes.

I love tech stuff like iPods, Smart phones, podcasting, blogging, YouTubing, Googling, forum surfing and social networking .

I'm a loyal friend.
People usually confide in me to help with things they may not share with those closest to them.

Give me a fully stocked kitchen and watch me work some magic on your favorite dish.

I've always been a creative person.

I can dance my butt off.

I love music, period!

I love to have fun and feel happiest knowing and encouraging those around me to have just as much fun as I am.

I like quiet moments at home and believe you don't have to spend a lot of money to enjoy the good company of someone.

I'm a a responsible financial planner and great at managing my household.

I don't mind compromising in a relationship as long as neither partner has to compromise who they are.

I love to dress, sometimes classic, sometimes, professional, sometimes runway stylish, sometimes funky, sometimes unique but always stylish and tasteful.

I've been told that I am a very attractive woman. My legs are my best feature and I have been told that shoe designers had me in mind when making those great pair of high heeled pumps you see on the catwalk and runways.

I'm intelligent and have been successful in my career.
I have a great work ethic.

I love to snuggle and hug and make my partner feel important. I love to sneak away for spontaneously romantic moments. It's one of the things I do best.

I am open to my partner's ideas, suggestions and am willing to be flexible and try new things. I believe that in a partnership each person can contribute their own unique, positive and strongest of qualities.

I love to decorate a room.

I appreciate other's artistic abilities.

I love jewelry and accessories.

I like to smell good.

I absolutely love children.

I'm an aspiring writer.

I'm confident and positive in my thinking.

I have alopecia and I am completely bald.

Crowned Regal is Flared Up!

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 03:22:00 +0000

Thanks for Thinking of Me

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 14:18:00 +0000

I can't tell you how many times in the course of my day that people tap me on the shoulder and say" I thought of you today."

When I look into the mirror each day, I think of me too, but it's different from what others see. On most days I see a woman who is a work in progress...Always trying to find out what she needs to do to improve herself inside and out. I believe that one should make it part of their daily routine because it helps one to achieve their goals, fix what needs fixing, make sure things are in check, so to speak.

So when someone says to me in passing, "I thought of you today", I like to ask them "Why?". Recently, someone said to me, "I thought of you today because my friend is going through some hard times and has been feeling a little down because she's been ill. She's on chemo right now. My friend doesn't have what you have, but I thought she could relate to you because you seem to have accepted what has happened to you (referring to my baldness)."

WHAT? How does this relate to me?

When I asked, the person said, "Your story is inspirational in that it had to be difficult to lose your hair and somehow overcome it all. I couldn't have done that. It seems you have taken the bull by the horns, you've certainly made lemonade with no lemons." I said, "I lost my hair, and it was hard and I feel for your friend. But your friend is very ill and while I feel honored that you would look at me this way, I am so very surprised that you would relate to my story in this way."

If only I had a dime for every time that scenario has been presented to me...

Below are some other thoughts people have shared with me:

I thought of you today because I didn't have courage to shave my head for 20 years and I did it today. I feel liberated.

I thought of you today because I saw Robin Roberts on Good Morning America reveal her bald head on national television and she looked beautiful and courageous.

I thought of you today when my friend contacted me today and is being told that she may have scarring alopecia and she’s devastated.

I thought of you today because my mom has been receiving chemo and has lost all of her hair.

I thought of you today because my aunt wears a wig and hasn’t taken it off for years and I HAVE always wondered what was underneath that wig of hers.

I thought of you today because I relate to you so much. I’ve come to a place of acceptance since being released from rehab.

I thought of you today because, I am having a hard time trying to get through the day. My husband has been cheating on me and says that I am too fat. Your husband doesn't mind that you are bald and still loves you...If you can accept what you look like than so can I. I know there is someone who will love me for who I am.

I thought of you today because my 8 year old daughter has alopecia and is being teased at school.

I thought of you today because, my little girl saw a picture of you bald with a red dress on and wanted me to print it because she was so happy that the lady in the red dress looked like her.

I thought of you because I think that you should attend my workshop on hair alternatives.

I thought of you today because I would like you to attend the next center for disease control convention, they should know about your story. You should come with me...and the thoughts keep coming.

It's not just about me and only my struggles anymore. I have found that losing my hair isn’t just about me losing hair, it’s a gift that has been given to me to use as a tool to help inspire others to move past obstacles they are facing. Who knew?...Who knew that my bald head, my new identity, the very thing that I used to find so difficult to accept would be the very thing that would ultimately help to inspire others in their struggles in any way they choose to relate to my it.

So from this point forward, on the days that I continue to struggle with accepting the way that I look; be it my bald head or some other part of my body I feel needs some fixing;... I will think of the fact that there are people in this world who are thinking of me in a positive light. Now I can appreciate the person staring back at me in the mirror that much more.

What a wonderful gift my alopecia has been...and "thank you for thinking of me".

Look What's Blooming! It's Springtime Again!

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 01:55:00 +0000

It's my favorite time of year. I love the anticipation of each day growing longer, love growing stronger and sifting through all the brightly colored clothing I missed wearing during the cold and gray winter months. It's also that time of year where I can't wait to see the flowers bloom and I begin to shed the layers of sweaters, coats, hats, gloves and heavy foot gear.

Today, I decided to pull out my brightly colored scarves and beautifully printed head coverings, light weight hats and short wigs. Doing this today, reminded me of the warm weather months to come and I thought to myself, "Not only is it time to shed the layers of clothing, but it's also time to reveal your head again. It's going to get too warm to tolerate the heat from wearing any of these head coverings". After going through one summer already, and one winter season as an alopecian, I thought I would be prepared to take on the world a a bald woman. Instead I found that sense of shame creep back inside of me. I was confused by these thoughts of shame I was having. I was on a train into work at the time and eerily felt the same as I did in the beginning stages of loosing my hair. This confusion kept knitting away at me like a needle to the brain. Why was I having these thoughts after all of the accomplishments that I've made toward acceptance? The only thing that I could come up with was that I had never been through the transition from the winter season to the spring season as an alopecian before. You see..., during the winter months I was able to cover up under suede hats and wigs on top of hoods and hoodies. I had developed a false sense of confidence regarding my feelings of being bald. It seemed that the confidence I had built up last summer by exposing my bald was lost. The only analogy that I can think of would be that of a child that had just taken a nasty fall off his bike and was afraid to get back on again. And to make matters worse, I moved to a new neighborhood with a new route to work, a different train, filled with different people. I have to get used to seeing them and they have to get used to seeing me, the bald woman in the neighborhood...but its OK. I'll find a way to reach down and pull on the same boot straps that got me this far in my journey to acceptance. I am ready for the stares, the comments, the sad faces, the giggles and snares! I have my "I LOVE ME" armour on and ready to rock! They will never have to know the turmoil that I still struggle with internally. I'll work it out somehow and keep forging on...all the while I will keep them all thinking, "LOOK WHAT'S BLOOMING! IT'S SPRINGTIME AGAIN! ISN'T SPRINGTIME BEAUTIFUL!"

New Social Network Launch - ALOPECIA WORLD!

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 17:23:00 +0000

Alopecia World is a new and exciting social network for those who have alopecia and their loved ones...or maybe you just want to stop by and see all those BEAUTIFUL bald people all in one place. The network is rich in content which includes the most up-to-date features found on a social networks today. Some of the many features include the ability to set up your own space (or web page), chat room, forums, groups, photo and video gallery. Let's not forget the best feature of all...a place to find and connect with fellow alopecians all over the world. This type of social network is the first of its kind and is quickly becoming the #1 place for alopecians and their loved ones. You will find men, women, children and their parents (includes support for parents of children with alopecia).

This unique and well put together social network was founded by Cheryl Carvery and her fiance Richard Jones. It's clear to see the passion, hard work and dedication that has gone into this project in the short time since its launch on March 8th, 2008. Membership is free provides an easy to use customizable look for its members. Visit Alopecia World at www.alopeciaworld.com.

I'm a proud member of Alopecia World. I have a feeling that we alopecians will be saying someday, "What did we all do before Alopecia World!". Kudos to its founders as well as its members!

COULD LIGHTNING POSSIBLY STRIKE TWICE???

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 23:59:00 +0000

The answer is yes. Lightning definiately did strike twice for me regarding my alopecia diagnosis. You see, I was diagnosed with two different types of alopecia. I have Cicatricial Centrifugal Alopecia and Alopecia Totalis. What???...yeah, that was my reaction too. When diagnosed, I asked, "Wait one minute, you can have more that one type?...at the same time?" I didn't even know that there was more than one type. Well, not only is there more than one type; there are a couple of different catagories and under each catagory there are several types of alopecia.

Well, as my sister always says, "You can never do anything on the DL (the down low)." She's right. My diagnosis falls under two different catagories with two different types. Here's the deal, I have both scarring and non scarring alopecia. The Cicatricial Centrifugal Alopecia is of the scarring type while the Alopecia Totalis is of the non-scarring type. Alopecia Cicatricial (scarring) alopecia refers to a group of rare disorders which destroy the hair follicle and replace it with scar tissue, thereby causing permanent hair loss. Complete scalp hair loss is alopecia totalis (non-scarring type). Lucky Me!

I had the wonderful opportunity to meet some beautiful ladies who have alopecia over the weekend. They were all stuggling with lots of the same feelings and experiences as me. I was so inspired by each and every one of them. So not only does lightning strike twice in the same place, it can strike more than once at the same time and all over the world. It was so comforting to know that someone else out there looks and feels just like me. Like I said, "Lucky Me!".

To read more about alopecia visit http://www.crownedregal.com/links.htm

LOVING AN ALOPECIAN WOMAN

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 10:30:00 +0000

Love her with every thread of your being. Love her with every emotion that is intertwined within every thread of your makeup. Love her from the heart. Love her from your mind, your body, your soul. Love her spiritually. For not doing these things encumber the armour she will need to protect her from the unwanted forces of the universe. Although she is strong and on most days she is perfectly capable of doing this herself, she has days where she falls short in doing this. Do not allow yourself to erase her image, for many people have tried to do this. She needs you to help preserve the beautiful things she possesses internally because the images in magazines, commercials and other forms of media can sometimes be successful at breaking down those very things causing a infestation of low self esteem, anger and other negative feelings that will gradually wash away all the good things about her.

See what others won't see. See how beautiful her face looks; everything from her beautiful eyes to the sleek clean lines of her soft and regal crown...OH, and did you notice her profile? So sovereign and self assuring. Have you seen her dance? How the lines from the shape of her head flows in tune with the lines from the shape of her body when she dances? Wouldn't you just love to dance with her?...But only if you can keep up.

Her mouth and nose so poignant...everything you love about her stands out, more magnified, more intense, more....and doesn't her skin look nice?

When you kiss her, kiss and hold her head too. She'll like that. Tell her from time to time that you appreciate her courage in being unique in her style and grace. Let her know that you don't mind being with her without her hair in the open for all to see. Hold her hand in public. Show everyone that although she looks different than most, there's got to be something about her that you just can't live without. Make her admirers envious of you and all the while guessing what secrets lie beneath her exterior; you know...that thing that keeps you grounded in your relationship with her. Instead of "Honey your hair looks nice tonight." tell her, "Honey your skin is so soft and glowing tonight.".

She can hold her own amidst the sea of beauties you encounter everyday. At times she rises above them. Don't you know why that is? It's because of beauty she exudes from within. She doesn't have a frame like all the pictures on the wall in an art gallery so she has to display her art that much more.

How lucky do you feel today? Love an alopecian woman....for she is prize buried beneath all the other bevel of beauties. Why didn't you notice her before?

AS LONG AT YOU'RE OK WITH IT...

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 02:29:00 +0000

I will continue to erase the image of myself for you, as long as you're OK with it. I will continue to not show you what I look like. I will continue to show up at family functions, board meetings, school plays and holiday parties and cover my baldness.

I will continue to wear things like colorful scarves, unusual hats and wigs of different hair colors in which you sometimes deem inappropriate under different circumstances. I will continue to not get on a crowded bus, train or airplane without covering my head...that is, if you're OK with it.

I will continue to not remove my hat in the middle of eating in some greasy spoon of a diner while my head pours of sweat from the heat in the kitchen...yeah, I'll do that too, that is, as long as you're OK with it.

I will continue to not do anything that will call attention to the fact that I have no hair.

I will continue to do all these things and act as if I enjoy doing so...all this for you...that is, if this is what makes you comfortable being around me.

I care so much about what you think, meanwhile erasing the very person that I am. I will continue to do this too just as long as I am not OK with it, and you are. Why?

DEAR SOMEONE,

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 02:38:00 +0000

I know what you are thinking. I know that when you walk into a room you think that everyone is staring at you. I know that when you took your shower today, you shut your eyes and thought about your hair floating down the drain. I know that when you were in the market the other day that you saw the lady in the next aisle staring at you. I know you are afraid of meeting someone that you could possibly have a relationship with. I know that you are afraid of revealing yourself to someone intimately. I know that you don't know that there is hope for you. I know that you wore your wig today, your hat yesterday and tomorrow you are thinking about going out without anything on your head. I know that when you wore your head wrap last week that you thought people could see your head even though it was completely covered. I know that you couldn't find anything in your closet you thought would look good on you, when you were getting ready to go out. I know that you are obsessed with your hair loss. I know it seems to consume your every thought. I know that you looked at the lady or man on the street and felt jealous or envious that they had hair and you didn't. I know that your family and friends are tired of hearing you talk about your hair or lack there of. I know you keep worrying about your fake hair falling off. I know you don't feel comfortable covering up your secret. I know your head feels too cold sometimes or too hot sometimes. I know that you still haven't come to grips with the fact that your hair does not define the person inside of you. I know that you wish people could stop looking at your head and look in your eyes, your mind and your heart instead. I know that you don't know how to reach out to others who look like you and feel the same feelings that you feel. I know that you feel that your family really doesn't understand your feelings about your hair. I know that you get angry when people tell you to just be thankful for what you have and to just "snap out of it" and "suck it up". I know that people keep telling you that you should be thankful that you are not suffering from something much worse. I know that you don't know enough about this disease or even know how to do the research to find out about it. I know that you wonder if people are taking you seriously at your place of work or school. I know that you feel hurt. I know that the flood gates of your tears are about to burst wide open when someone so much as makes eye contact with you. I know that you have been having private pity parties when no one is around. I know that you don't want people to feel sorry for you. I know that you think you are the only one in the world that is going through this. I know that you think that no one will ever date or marry someone who is lacking hair. I know that you just don't know that all these negative feelings you are having is perfectly normal for someone who has lost something that most people feel defines your beauty.

I know that you are wondering how I know all these things about you.

I know these things about you because I am you.

Your hair does not define all of the beauty you possess inside of you. If you don't truly believe that statement than how can you expect others to do the same?

ODE TO EL - Look Ma', No Hands!

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 08:17:00 +0000

HI MOMMY! JUST UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT MISSING YOU...Love, Nettie

BALD LOVE

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 08:59:00 +0000

I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat because of a dream; or nightmare depending on how you view it. It was one of those metaphoric dreams. You know, like when you are dreaming about having something you wish you had and it takes the form of something else?...like wishing you had more money, only in the dream you're doing something ridiculous like drowning in a sea of purses.

Anyway, I was dreaming about having a conversation with someone who was sitting across from me. I didn't really know who the person was yet, I felt comfortable talking to this person. I couldn't make out facial features or anything. I was making some sort of gestures with my hands and realized that my long flowing hair got in the way of my movements and I felt myself getting really happy that I had my own natural hair. I continued my conversation with this mysterious person and then realized that the hair started getting in the way and began to annoy me. So I began ripping the hair off...not in a violent manner, just gently pulling out sections. I did this very nonchalantly and it was painless. I could see the hair falling to the floor and began to realize that I had made a mistake in pulling it out. Regretted having done this, I began to panic and felt my body thrashing underneath my blanket. I woke up to a cold and chilling sweat and laid there motionless and thinking, "What was that all about?". I realized that I had been dreaming in metaphors again and began to question what was taking the form of what in the dream.

Well, after not much deciphering, I realized the person I was having a conversation with was my husband, who incidentally is bald also. A recent conversation I had with my husband was about how animated I can be with my hands when I am talking to him. Also, knowing myself, I had to be really comfortable with this person for me to just nonchalantly rip my hair out in front of them. My feelings of regret were symbolic of missing my natural hair. What about the feelings of panic, thrashing under the blanket and sweating? Well, the jury is still out of the court room deliberating on that one...that could have been me having one of my "personal summer" episodes...that's menopause for you younger folks. (He,He)...

What does all this have to do with "BALD LOVE"?, you say?...it's like this, I never thought that in a million years that the guy I met back in 1977...,the one with the really huge afro,... and that girl he met, with the perfectly permed and feather cut, Farrah Facet hair...would grow bald together rather than gray together. With all the things we have been through during our long and winding union together, how special do I have it that, I have him to look across to, after going through a life altering experience such becoming an "alopecian". I lost my hair, he lost his hair, we both look so different than what we looked like in 1977, yet when we look at each other... we still see the same people. Guess that's the same thing people do when they grow old and wrinkly together.

NO THAT'S BALD LOVE!

FEELIN' GREAT IN 2008!

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 05:18:00 +0000

Each year, as the new year approaches, I begin to think of all the changes, experiences, highs and lows of the year that rapidly begins to unravel in a pace that is fast as the speed of sound. I'm usually anxious to leave behind all the things that have gone wrong along with the bad spirits they came in with! However, I am always amazed at how many blessings I had overlooked or even at times how those very blessings had disguised themselves as "bad things". I was not spared nor immune against the trials and tribulations of life in the year 2007. Becoming an "alopecian" in 2007 seemed at first to be almost like I was being cursed for something. I just didn't understand it.

I know now that it was such a wonderful blessing. From this life altering experience, emerged the start of 2008 which is already shaping up to be what I think will be an amazing year. I learned so much about myself and how people view me as a person. Not having hair does bring out the worse in people, however, most people who encountered me as bald woman were able to see past my exterior and made some wonderful assessments of my interior. They even at times reminded me of the positive things I had forgotten about myself. In addition, they were able to point out positive things about me that I never knew I had.

My beautiful husband, children and friends gave me so much support and love. Most importantly, they didn't love me any less than when I had hair. We live in a society that focuses on appearance and views hair as a symbol of health and beauty. Think about it from this perspective for a moment...in the eyes of some, I had lost my health and my beauty. When I really thought about that notion alone, it seemed so ridiculous to place that much value on hair. So my next thought was, "So how do I convince people to look at me and be convinced that I still had my health and beauty?". The answer here is two-fold. Number one, I needed to look inside for my beauty and let it flow freely and naturally; in hopes that it will emanate, permeate, or whatever, to my exterior like a really sweet and desirable smelling perfume in which people couldn't ignore. And number two, if people just didn't get it, so be it! There is no one that I need to prove what positivity and beauty exists inside my heart and mind. The people who love me and care about me like my family and friends already know this and could care less if I have hair or not. I have embraced my newfound baldness...err, eh, I mean my newfound beauty and realized that it's OK to want to remember what it was like to have hair. Either way, I am going to continue to love myself, because if I don't, how could I possibly expect others to do the same. My slogan for the new year?...FEELIN' GREAT IN 2008!
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

MY OTHER PAST TIME

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 21:02:00 +0000

Really folks, I am not obsessed with looking at photos of myself. For those of you who don't know, I am continuing to work on my official website which has an underlying agenda...my healing process. It's the undercurrent that keeps my creative juices flowing and allows me to reach out to others who are experiencing issues with hair loss or any other life changing experiences. Hence, the photos of myself....I believe that through positive imaging and expressing my feelings through digitally enhancing my photos is what is helping me to heal and continue my journey to acceptance and self-empowerment. There's an old analogy we "IT" folks use, ("computer" folks for those who are "technologically challenged" ), "Garbage in...Garbage out"..., "Negative feelings in...Negative feelings out". This is what keeps me grounded...along with a much "Higher Power" of course.
SEE MORE IMAGES BY CROWNED REGAL BELOW

COMING CLEAN

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 23:17:00 +0000

I've been thinking about why I want to share my journey of "a day in the life of an alopecian" and realized that my journey isn't just about being an alopecian, however, it has definitely had a huge impact on my recent state of mind. It's what has sparked a huge fire within me that continues to grow into this enormous forest fire that has become much bigger than myself, who is me. I want to share my journey because I have this huge desire to help someone through my journey. And if this is my ultimate goal, I need to be honest about the stages of my journey which includes both good and bad experiences....so with that being said, I am rolling out the "red carpet", the "real deal", in hopes that my story will somehow reach someone who needs to know my story.

Let me start by re-introducing myself.

"My name is Modolly and I am living joyously as a bald woman. My alter-ego is" Crowned Regal the Alopecian." I am an intelligent, compassionate, expressive, creative and loving person. Throughout my life, I have kicked down a few mountains with ten more to go, no doubt, either way I will forge on. Recently, I underwent three very profound life altering experiences, all of which left me to explore many things inside of me that I knew had always been there and was always afraid to unveil. That fear has disappeared and those very things I had kept inside are now flowing freely and ready to share with anyone willing to listen. Those very things, good and bad have now become monumental blessings in which my arms are wide open and ready to receive in abundance! I underwent gastric bypass/open RNY surgery, I now have alopecia and have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I need to share my journey. I need to share my journey to let it be known that through adversities there can be an emergence of some very beautiful and wonderful things. And the most wonderful of blessings is that you can overcome those adversities and can successfully live the most extraordinary, yet wonderfully normal life. If you landed on my blog, whether it be intentional or by happenstance, I want to "Thank You".

One of my favorite quotes is: " Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. "(a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson). I found this quote hanging on a wall of an administrative assistant's office as I was being discharged from a hospital.

THE PHOTOSHOOT

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 21:22:00 +0000

I went out to do some last minute Christmas shopping. I spotted a ladies hats section with some of the most funky hats I had ever laid eyes on. Lately, I've aquired quite a collection of them. They make me feel stylish, unique and alive. As I inched closer to this gorgeous snow white leather white brimmed hat, I decided to try it on. Yet another time, I had frozen, thinking that I need to remove the hat on my head. Here I am yet another time feeling uneasy about exposing my bald head again! I thought, Damn! What is it going to take before I feel completely at ease and confident in my own "skin"...err, umm.. "scalp?". It was time to break out the heavy artillary again..."The PhotoShoot". I look at this video from time to time to remind myself of the confident and strong woman in the photos to help boost my self esteem. "Heavy Sigh"

PUTTING IT IN REVERSE

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:55:00 +0000

Shaving my head feels really good. It's kinda therapeutic, you know?...yes occasionally, I do get these pesky little stubbies that struggle to grow through the tough scars deep in the hair follicles. I don't like the way they look, so much, so that after a smooth shave, I rub every inch of my scalp just to make sure I don't feel any,...even though they are not visible. Its kind of a mental battle I have with them. Guess, I have some deeply hidden control issues as a result of the hair loss. When I was done shaving today, I thought how obsessed I've become with making sure that not one piece of stub is showing on my smooth crown...but then I thought when I had a lot of hair and was beginning to loose it...strand by strand...I obsessed then in doing everything possible to keep my hair, regrow it, replace it, medicate it, etc. It's like things are in reverse gear..., yet I am in "drive."...driving forward that is....

LETTING GO AND GOOD RIDDANCE!

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:28:00 +0000

Contrary to some, there really are some advantages to being bald. I happened to be clearing out a closet that had lots of boxes. I came across an unmarked heavy box and opened it. Inside were hair care products which included, styling gels, mousse, hair rollers, combs, brushes, hair spray, oil spray, creams, and the list is just to long to mention. I froze for just a moment and thought, "Wow, I don't use this stuff anymore.". It was one of those moments that I have occasionally where I really miss my hair...and that's all it was...a moment. I quickly moved the box out of the way and thought, "I'll give it to my sister or something.". Then I took the box and put it out for trash. It didn't bother me in the least. Had this happened about six months ago, I probably would have broken down and cried. I didn't get upset at all. "So What?", you say?...you see that was a very monumental moment for me. It was the moment that I realized that I have gained acceptance in what I look like as a bald woman. And another thing, I spent so much money on that junk anyway...now I can turn on QVC and order that new ring I've been wanting.

A MINOR CONFLICT

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 16:49:00 +0000

One morning after a doctors visit, my husband and me decided to go this little out of the way diner. Honestly, I couldn't tell you what the name of the town was or the street the diner was on. We were so hungry that day. Anyway we got out of the truck and walked towards the front entrance. From the outside, the diner looked kinda' drab. When we opened the doors, we saw a really nice diner! While waiting for our hostess to seat us we looked around and noticed there were a lot of senior citizens. The place was buzzing. We finally got settled in our seats and was served a really good breakfast. As I was eating I started to feel very uncomfortable. The hat that I had on was denim and looked something like a train conductors hat. I stuck a funky crystal white star on the side for good measure. I asked my husband if he would mind if I took my hat off. He looked at me and whispered, "Maybe you shouldn't." (not in offensive way). I asked him, "Why not?". He said, Well, Babe, I'm not trying to be offensive or anything, and you know I have been out in public with you before when you didn't have anything on your head...it's just that I think if you are going to do something like that, you should either walk into an establishment with nothing on your head and stay like that or come into the establishment with it covered and leave it like that. (Really, he's a sweet man ...smile). You know, I got offended by that statement, however, I wasn't mad...I wasn't mad because I have heard that line from a lot of people, over and over again and each time, this opinion came from those that love me and were close to me. I decided that I would keep my hat on, not because I wanted to, but because I didn't want to make my husband feel bad, however, I said very softly, Honey, there is so much that is wrong with that statement. Let's enjoy our breakfast and we'll talk later. I kinda felt a little hurt because I questioned if he and others were ashamed of me being bald? Did they think I was going to interrupt people's meals by exposing who I really am?...think about that...this is who I am but people want me to hide it? While twisting my hat only 100 times during my meal, am I just being paranoid?...well later brought the subject up again and said honey this hairloss confuses me sometimes. Why is it more acceptable by others to always let me know what's appropriate for me. They say,"Wear a wig during special occasions or work,( I work in a law firm ), hats are ok to dress up or wear casually, I love your creative head wraps and you should be bald and happy!". I told him that some people are embarrassed for me, others would have me look like what "they" think is acceptable, whether they would go out bald or not... but no one really cares how uncomfortable I feel wearing hats, wigs, scarves...in the heat, cold, while I'm dancing, while I'm making love...no one ever asks me. I don't really feel that anyone should ask me,...I have to do what is comfortable to me!...its just that the people around me don't understand what it is like to be a bald women in our society...for the record, I like wearing hats, wigs, scarves depending on my mood and clothing, I like to be bald in the heat as long as the tempature is below 90 degrees,bald when I'm making love, bald, bald when I'm dancing, sometimes bald at work, sometimes scarves when I'm cleaning...bottom line I want to be comfortable in any setting or occasion...I just don't want to feel like I have to hide who I am according to who I'm with, who's around me, who feels uncomfortable looking at me. Question for ya...if a man walked into an eating establishment and felt uncomfortable and wanted to remove his hat, would anyone question that? Bottom line, I don't feel comfortable hiding who I am. Incidentally, one of the ladies in the diner walked by me and said, "I know you!". You're the lady that gets on the train every morning! I just want to tell you that you wear the most beautiful head pieces. I look up every morning just to see what you are going to wear next...YOU SEE WHY I AM SO CONFUSED????

I AM NOT A WHISPER

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 16:47:00 +0000

I consider myself to be a very spiritual person. I believe that GOD can be very amusing (for lack of a better word) at times. I believe he gives us many chances throughout our lives to correct things within ourselves. One time in particular, he presented himself to me by giving me gentle nudges along the way. See, with this whole alopecia deal, I kept falling into a "whoa is me" phase. I did this off and on throughout the deal. I did this, so much so, that my self esteem plummeted to the ground. HE kept nudging me by surrounding me with lots of people who told me that they thought I looked beautiful. The more people told me this, the more I felt anything other than beautiful.
Outside of being a spiritual person, I also consider myself to be an intelligent person, proud and sometimes loud! During my low self-esteem phase I felt like two different women. I just couldn't process why I was feeling like this nor could I express in words that concept until a week ago. You see what was happening, was that although I knew that I was an intelligent person, there was this horrible self-image disconnect...cool words huh?...a new friend found those words...I felt like I had struck gold when I heard them.
Anyway getting back to the little nudges I was receiving from "THE MAN UPSTAIRS", I just didn't get it!...rewind to about 2 weeks ago. I was hospitalized for other health issues. While I was in the hospital lying in bed a women walked out of the bathroom. She was roommate. She was about 30 years older than me. Although she was obviously having some health issues herself, she appeared to be so meticulous in her style and dress. Every hair was in place folks! She even wore lipstick while she was in bed and got up very early each day to spruce herself up. She also felt the need to nurture me by helping me arrange the food on my tray to arrange things on my nightstand. She sometimes liked to go for walks in the halls. Well, my 2nd day in hospital, I spent most of my time focusing on either covering my bald head or lying in bed thinking how much I missed my hair. I got so depressed. A nurse talked to me to find out what was wrong. I told her. She said, "I'll be right back." The nurse came back in about 5 minutes, she said, "Did you know that someone in the hospital has alopecia like you? I told her, "No." She said well it's your roommate and that's a wig that she wears! My roommate came back into the room with tears in her eyes and said, YOU ARE BEATUTIFUL!...then looked me straight into my eyes and softly said, with or without hair. We are sisters and you're going to get through this stage. I know the place that you are at...and just like you, I was diagnosed with two types of alopecia." You see folks, GOD IS NOT A WHISPER!. He rains blessings down on you in a thunderous way! I think about that woman everytime I put on my makeup and cock my hat to the side before going out. Two, SNAPS!...and a bag 'o' chips!!!!...holla!

FAMOUS QUOTES BY FAMOUS PEOPLE

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 16:44:00 +0000

"It doesn't matter what you look like, I love you, hair or no hair...and if you was smart you would listen!" (PatJ)

"I just want to see you get better, I love you...and that other stuff?...well, that's a bunch of b!$%&%!...and anyway I'm try-na process it!" (CarolJ)

"Ummm...I don't know, you're still the same, I don't see you any different...and I love your peanut head!" (TrinaM)

"Mommy, I think you look beautiful and regal...and can you please stop stressin'? I love you Mommy, I'll call you tomorrow." (ChrissyM)

"Mommy...aww...you still look pretty to me...and I gotta run, gotta catch a plane...I love you and I miss you. (GinaM)

"Hey Mom, a ladybug just landed in my window today...how are you?...I love you and I don't know Mom...you know I don't know how to express myself...you just look pretty to me." (KiannaM)

"Mom, Mom...you alright...you ok?...where's Pop Pop?...I'm watching Dora...I Love You MomMom. (Kayla Monster)

"I love you Boo...I'll always be there for you...I never left your side...where's my sandwich...and "you done snapped out!" ( the love of my life MichaelM )

"Remember that the people who really love you don't care that you are bald." ( NettieM)

YOU'D BETTER NOT DO IT! I MEAN IT!

crownedregal@crownedregal.com (Crowned Regal) — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 16:43:00 +0000

I love to go dancing. My sister and I frequent a friendly place in our neighborhood on Saturday nights. Everyone there who knows me knew I once had hair then I didn't. Most everyone in there knew I had alopecia but never pried about it. Instead, they seemed to be more interested in the types of hats, scarves and wigs I wore. They seemed more interested in how I could change my look at the drop of a dime every weekend. One particular night I stayed on the dance floor most of the night. I wore a wig that night and I was so hot and sweaty. My sister was dancing next to me in the middle of the dance floor. I guess I was feeling empowered that night and thought I had enough courage to whip the hot wig off and reveal my bald crown. The lights were pumping and the music was loud. We were having a blast. I looked at my sister and said, "Should I do it?". She said, " You'd better not do it! I mean it!...I swear Modolly, if you do it?...I'm leaving. I turned and faced another girlfriend of ours and asked her, " Should I do it?"...my friend said, "Sure, why not!". I whipped my wig off and slung it across the dance floor and it landed in another girlfriends lap who was sitting at a table. When she caught the wig, her mouth looked as if it was moving in slow motion...she was saying Ohhhhhh, Myyyyy G-O-D!. I turned and faced the dance floor and danced soo hard. I felt so free! I loved the feeling. I watched peoples faces and they were absolutely astonished! I looked at my sister and she she grabbed my hands and held them in the air. We danced together, she hugged me and before I knew it women came onto the dance floor to hug me, they were in tears. To this day, my sister is still mad at me BUT she never left my side that night. We're going out to dance again on Saturday. I love my sister and the friends I dance with.