Give Crowns and Pounds and Guineas But Not Your Heart Away. || Learn Swedish With Me!

Chapter IV

2011-09-18T01:41:00.000-07:00

This is how it begins

Hello from Leeds! I've been here for 4 days now and things are starting to settle down. I've explored the uni and city a little, met a couple of new friends and basically familiarising myself with the surroundings. It's been pretty alright and I'm starting to get used to the changes (:

Induction for school starts on Monday and I'm super psyched (: I'm ready to just go ahead and start school now. Just going back in time a little, on my flight here, I caught Soul Surfer and it was such an apt film to start off this new chapter (: It was a true story about a teen surfer called Bethany Hamilton who despite losing her left arm in a shark attack, courageously overcame all odds to become a champion surfer. It was by no means an easy road and tough doesn't even come close to describing it but she soldiered on. There were hurdles along the way of course, heaps of it in massive proportions yet her determination to get back on her board refused to give in. (:

I've been having nagging doubts of what ifs, will I, can I, because I know that law school's gonna be rough but this film has inspired me a little. Haha. I will have to grit my teeth and see this through. (:

Okay! On a lighter note, here are a couple of pictures from around uni (:

Business school. Isn't it pretty!

The new Law building (:

I must say that despite the cranky weather sometimes, Leeds often has amazing skies and you know how much I'm a sucker for them. (:

That's it for now. Swedish phrase before I go, 'Sommaruppehållet är slut nu.' which means the summer break is now over.

Give a shit

2011-09-07T06:20:00.000-07:00

that's how it starts.

Give-a-shit. Now that's what we call creative marketing and getting something useful out of this social slang that is sometimes frowned upon ;) The message behind the campaign is quite ingenious though and I agree, that if only everyone gave a shit about something, it'll make everything that much better in it's own little way. I just feel that if you gave a shit about something, it will affect (subconsciously or not) your actions in some way or another. Doesn't matter how small it is, Rome wasn't built in a day nor was it built with one giant slab of stone. So pick a cause, and give a shit. (:

So the 12th of August marked my last day at Legal Aid. It has been an amazing run and I've learnt so much this past year. I am sometimes still quietly amazed at how everything turned out. I remember going for the interview at Legal Aid hoping for an internship but came out with a job instead. From meeting clients/applicants to court experiences and to drafting tons of legal documents, it has been such a fruitful year and made even more memorable by the colleagues that I had. Nothing else I can say but that I've been truly blessed. (:

In the blink of an eye, it's now less than a week to departure and just over 2 weeks to the start of school. I was supposed to leave on the 15th but pushed my flight up by a couple of days to give myself slightly more time to settle in (: I, am so.damn.psyched :D Haven't had much time to read up as much as I wanted to though, as I have been helping Monica with the new Frejadesigns site. (Really excited for the launch!) but I'm still catching a few pages everyday and despite English Legal and Constitutional being awfully stiff and boring at times, I still like it. (: (:

Fees have also been fully paid, accommodation settled, registration has all been done and I've even gotten my timetable (: I only have lectures Mondays to Wednesdays! This gives me a bit more flexibility to find a job which I'm glad for since I've been told it's not easy to find one.

SO EXCITED TO FINALLY START LAW SCHOOL! :D

Alright, need to get back to packing.

Swedish word before I go, studenthem which means the dorms or hall of residence (:
Jag kommer att bo i studenthem means I will be living in the dorms.

Hej då!

Frozen strawberries

2011-08-07T03:22:00.000-07:00

and bruised knees.

it is the green eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.

Jealousy is such an ugly thing, one emotion that we always find ourselves vulnerable to no matter how old we grow. Sometimes, we try to be the bigger man, to be the better person. We tell ourselves, to just let it go. At the same time, the enviousness makes us stubborn, makes our hands itch to strike back and say, back off.

I hate feeling jealous. It spoils the fun times we've shared.

As time passes, people and priorities change. Standing at a crossroad wherein we both refuse to compromise. I can't see why you don't understand, you can't see why I've got a stick up my arse.

Wrong time, wrong place I guess.

Goodbye now, it's only 36 days to a clean slate.

Swedish word today: avundsjuka which means, jealousy.

Mahalo

2011-07-27T20:24:00.000-07:00

You'll be alright.

Had a good talk last night. (: Felt so relieved and comforted that I ended up having the best sleep I've ever had, in the last month or so. (: Woke up real early, feeling goooooood and well-rested. I even got to work early! :D Still coughing a little and my throat's still sore but I, am a happy kid today (:

Sleep, you are so underrated. Heh. On a random note, my new red duvet from Ikea is the best shit ever. (:

Swedish words today:

en säng - bed

en kudde - pillow

en filt - blanket

ett nattduksbord - bedside table

Be good yall.

Pakalolo

2011-07-25T02:07:00.000-07:00

It's in the way you say it.

The tragedy of the twin attacks in Norway came as a shock to the world. Famously associated with the land of peace, it's the last place that one would imagine a gunman shooting at innocent kids at a camp. My heart goes out, to the loss of brilliance and innocence in Utøya and Oslo. Våra tankar är hos Norge. ♥

This sense of bone-deep exhaustion and weariness is starting to take it's toll. Hello old friend, it's been awhile since we last met, though I can't say I'm happy to see you again.

Horrid dreams of an alternate reality. I wake feeling like I just ran 10 miles in my sleep. A good night's sleep continues to elude me. Perhaps this is a sign that I should run 10 miles before bed, that might just knock me out.

Coupled with a sense of restlessness that I can't seem to still. Except for that 15 brief minutes in the museum, where I found myself heaving a breath of relief the size of Texas. For that few moments, in a room covered with canvases, I felt peace. I had the urge to fall asleep in there, to the flashing of Van Gogh's Starry Starry night. Wouldn't that be sweet.

50 days to a new start, a new chapter.

Not a word of grievance shall be uttered. I loathe this heavy heart but I refuse to give you the satisfaction of hearing me sigh.

My every fiber, is desperate for a break. It's been a long time coming.

On a brighter note, my visa was officially approved on 21st July. Best birthday, ever (:

Today's mini swedish lesson:
We know that snygg means that someone is handsome, good looking.
Snygga up on the other hand, would mean to clean up or to tidy up.

That is all.

Because

2011-07-18T23:15:00.000-07:00

You could always read my silence.

I like how I never have to complete my sentences. I like how I never have to force and choke and spit out my words. I like how he manages to hear my smile and turns my frowns into grins.

It's times like this, that makes me wish.

I know, wishes are for fools.

3 more weeks before my stint at Legal Aid comes to an end (for now). I foresee endless days of reading, accompanied with coffee annnnnnd cookies. Or them soft pretzels. I can't wait. (:

Thank you, anyway. You, have always been amazing. (:

Summer has set in. ♥

2011-07-18T00:19:00.000-07:00

Sunshine, freedom and a little flower.

Right in the eye of summer (: June came and went, then came July; and now it's almost on it's way out! Time has this tendency to fly right by you just when you're trying to savour the best of it huh? It's now just slightly over 50 days to England and I, am fucking psyched. (: I can't wait to get started on assignments and term papers, getting involved in the Innocence project, studying in the library, getting pumped up on caffeine, the cold frost in the early mornings and everything that has to do with being a law student in England. Haha... my tone might change a few weeks into school as I start to grumble about having to wake up at the ass crack of dawn and having to make the long trudge to class, but I'm fairly certain the thrill of reading law will last for a long time to come. ;)

That aside, summer thus far has been pretty awesome (: Our trip to Bangkok and Koh Tao was a blast and we met some cool people too (and lots of crazy english lads :D). Managed to get my Deep Dive and Night Dive certification this time round and clocked another 9 dives in my log book so I must say that I felt pretty damn accomplished. Haha.. It's a pity though that I did not get to see any sharks this time round. Though I did see a couple of huge rays. OH! We saw a ginormous school of barracudas! It was awesome! I managed to spot my favourite yellow box-fish a couple of times too (: With that, I don't know when I'd be able to dive again but I hope I'll be able to make it to PNG in the near future because Paul's pictures look fuckin amazing. Anyway, a few captured moments of our summer trip:

Of fire stunts and pretty sunsets (:

♥

Koh Tao was amaaaazing. For 5 days, we did pretty much nothing but dive, hang out, read, eat, sleep, rinse and repeat. (: Waking up at 630am for the morning dives was an awesome way to start the days and I miss it soooooo damn much already.

The topic of life as a dive instructor came up on a few occasions as we lamented about how awesome it must be, to wake up every morning knowing that you will be doing a job that you love. Yet I thought it must start to feel different, once that hobby becomes an obligation of sorts.. Since with a job, comes responsibilities and rules that you probably never really had to give much thought to when you were just diving for fun. It's like married life, you know. Once the kids (jobs) come, there are just some things that you can no longer freely do, because you have the responsibility to make sure your kids (students) are taken care of. Hah.

Then on our very last night, while talking to sneaky about working as an instructor, his story of going from feeling like the luckiest person in the world to constantly having to reinforce to himself the notion of "Luke! You're so lucky!" made me laugh because while I could totally relate, it also made me think back on a post I had previously wrote, about how sometimes, contentment can so easily become such an inadequate sense of satisfaction. Which, can be seen as a natural progression since we're constantly being exposed to so many different aspects of life that we can't possibly expect our sense of contentment to remain static for an extended period of time. I guess if one were to live life fully, it would then mean that contentment would never suffice?

Right... pardon my ramblings. Anyway!

Audeee and me.

Did my first couple of dives with Audeee and she, is super cool. Haha (:

So after we bid Koh Tao a sad sad sad goodbye, we headed back to Bangkok where Maine and Manda attempted to buy half of Bangkok back with them. There were many moments of "It's only $5! I might as well..." Haha. Though I have to admit that there really were a shit ton of good steals.. If I had not been on a budget, I am pretty sure I would have gone bananas too. (:

Got my visa settled the moment I came back from the trip too! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it gets approved soon. That would be an awesome awesome birthday present ;) and yesss I'm turning 24 in a couple of days! It's a travesty, I am almost a quarter century old now... to think I feel like I just turned 16 yesterday. Haha.

Alright, swedish lesson to end this off.

Summer has set in. II ♥

2011-07-18T00:14:00.000-07:00

Lesson in a separate post since Blogger's being lame and randomly cutting my posts. Sorry I know I've been lazy with these lessons :p

I got this from ielanguages, another swedish tutorial site and it's one of those swedish forms that I sometimes tend to get confused with as well so it comes in pretty handy. It has to do with locations and defining movements from one place to another. Here it is:

Many adverbs in Swedish have two distinct forms: one to denote location and one to denote movement to or from a place. Location adverbs answer the question var? where? while movement adverbs answer the question vart? where to?

Location Movement

in - inne in

out - ute ut

there - framme fram

up - uppe upp

down - nere ner

here - här hit

there - där dit

away - borta bort

(at) home - hemma hem

Location adverbs are used with verbs of rest (vara, stå, ligga, sitta, stanna, finnas, bo, trivas) and movement adverbs are used with verbs of motion (gå, komma, fara, resa, åka, flytta, spring, köra, flyga).

For example:
Malin är här. Malin is here.
Malin kommer hit. Malin is coming here.

Mamma stannar hemma. Mother is staying home.
Mamma går hem. Mother is going home.

That is all! (:

100 days.

2011-06-04T08:11:00.000-07:00

to England and to Law School (:

So that's how it officially stands, 100 days. I'm pretty sure it's gonna be the longest 100 days of my life. Haha. Anywho, sorry for the lack of updates the past week. It's been a lil dreary and hectic with the combination of work, tuition, attempting to read up on law notes and happenings within the family. My social life has pretty much become non-existent the past month or so. (not that it had been very colorful to begin with. But you get what I mean.)

What's been new? Well, we made history by winning the 19th League cup, that's one. Then we lost the Champions League cup to an exceptional team, that's two. Haha. Broke my heart because I honestly thought we had a good chance there. We started off alright and despite going 1-0 down, Rooney hit back with a stunning goal so hope flared. Yet when the second half started, they played with such exceptional skills and class that the result at the end of the day was really quite inevitable. Well, we tried. I didn't think we tried hard enough, but such is life eh. Gotta take the shit with the roses. (my saying. heh.) We still capped the season with a 19th, so that's something to cheer about (:

I can't wait to catch a live game next season ;)

My visa's been giving me a headache though and I'm really really hoping that all goes well for it. Was supposed to go down to the embassy on the 6th to submit all my docs but there's been a hold up with the school releasing our CAS to us, which is also incidentally the most important documentation required. Hah. So the 6th is a bust.

Then there's the trouble of having to submit my passport for the duration of the visa application which wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't intending to travel in July....... but Maine's back on the 28th (YAY!) and our summer trip's from 5th to 12th July. So yes.... pretty much fucked on that. If only I could keep to that appointment on the 6th.... then my visa might have been done by the end of June but the school's not cooperating with my plansssssss. Urrgghhhhhhh!! All these coordination is driving me nuts. Hah.

In other news, very psyched for summer trip (: Can't wait to cliff jump, dive, read on the beach and spend some quality time with the girls before I leave (:

Today's swedish words:

A little lesson on adverbs (:

aldrig - never

alltid - always

antagligen - probably

bara - only

kanske - maybe

inte - not

ofta - often

redan - already

verkligen - really

snart - soon

On the 200th.

2011-05-08T23:59:00.000-07:00

Love.

Warning for sappiness ahead.

On my 200th post, I wanted it to be about .... Love.

Not just love in the romantic, makes you wanna twirl and swoon kinda love. But all sorts of love from your mother's, your daddy's, your best friend's, your dog's and everyone else who has been there for you. Because love, is grand (:

My heart's been in a bit of a weird funk recently but love, is still awesome. Even if boys are stupid and we should all throw rocks at them.

I once read the sweetest quote, from Gavin to the boy he loved.

"If you could see yourself just for a day,
you would see how everyone else sees you.
And my god, you are fucking beautiful."

Yes. ♥

Today's swedish phrase:

Du är vacker - which means you are beautiful.

Because right this moment,

2011-05-07T02:06:00.000-07:00

I'm just a girl.

The country's in the midst of election fever the past few weeks and the question of one's party of choice never fails to come up in every single conversation. It might be too early to say, but in my constituency, I felt the choice was pretty clear. I have no impression, none whatsoever, of the opposition party. One would have thought that if you're going up against the PM, the least you could do was put up a good fight? Haha. I have to admit that I am not a staunch supporter of any party but neither am I anti-PAP. I simply voted for who I thought could better serve the needs of the constituency/country. In a nutshell, while I understand the arguments brought up by the Opposition, I did not hear any credible solutions to these problems that they found with the current government. It just seems like there was a lot of appeal to populist sentiments. I have to say that I believe and have more faith in PAP's policies, but also strongly believe that they can do so much better . And while there is indeed a need for opposition parties in parliament to act as checks against the PAP, at the end of the day, it's my view that they are still better equipped to run this country.

Well, whichever party eventually comes into power, let's hope that improving the financial standings of the working folks and closing the widening chasm between rich and poor are some of the top few priorities.

On an entirely different note, it's 17 weeks to law school, to England, to a new chapter (: While I am extremely psyched for school, I am also very ... afraid. I know I shouldn't be and I'm in the process of overcoming this hurdle, but it's slow coming. Haha.. Anyway, I just bought my first 3 law texts for school yesterday! Interesting stuff and can't wait to get down to it once it arrives (:

I think this change is gonna be good for me. Not just because I'm going to finally be able to do what I have been gunning for all these years, but also because I feel like it's a break that I desperately need. A time to be a lot more independent, to really stand on my own two feet. And for that, I'm excited. (:

One another note, it would also be good for me to meet new people. To let my heart be at ease, to concentrate on my studies, and not get sucked back into this mess that we sometimes call a casual...ship. Especially in the last few weeks where things between us have been swinging from one end to the other with barely time for me to catch hold of what's happening. You've been throwing me curveballs one after the next and while I threw some good ones back, I can't catch up.

I woke up one Wednesday morning and wished so very hard, that things between us weren't so complicated. It kills the butterflies that I like, so very much, and it makes my insides clench and hurt. You asked me a question and I couldn't give you an answer. You wanted to know why but I said goodnight. I'm afraid to tell you what I really want because I somehow know that you'd only turn and run. I guess I've always known that at the end of the day, I'll never be what you really want. I would rather not take the risk of whatever it is that we have, falling apart. I would rather later, than sooner.

I wish there were a rulebook for intimacy. Some kind of guide to tell you when you've crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming, and I don't know how you fit it on a map. You take it where you can get it, and keep it as long as you can. And as for rules, maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself.

Today's swedish phrase is a mushy one. Haha.

I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.

Jag är bara en flicka, som står framför en pojke och ber honom att älska henne.

The Royalties.

2011-04-28T21:45:00.000-07:00

Grandeur.

In light of the upcoming Royal Nuptials, I thought it fitting to have a few pretty pictures! :D There's not much before the wedding commences, so have a look at the Swedish Royal Wedding that took place also fairly recently, in June 2010. Having been into the Royal Palace in Stockholm, I have to say that it was breathtakingly grand and majestic. I remember discussing with Maine that gorgeously painted ceilings must be the first sign of ... opulence. Heh.

Outside the Swedish Royal Palace

Princess Victoria and Daniel Westling

Prince Carl and his sister, Princess Madeline. Prince Carl is absolutely .... mmhmmm.

As the wedding approaches in England, the entire nation seems to be involved in its preparations; and London is an amazing city. I can only imagine the festive atmosphere and the excitement of being there :D

Union Flags out on Regent Street. So pretty!

Members of the Household, outside Buckingham Palace

and the newest Royal couple, Prince William and Kate Middleton. She, is gorgeousss (:

No Swedish words today! Taking a royal vacaayy (:

Shaaaake it.

2011-04-24T19:42:00.000-07:00

Heads up!

Watch our Chaplin moves. It was a fun picnic at the Barrage (: With pretty pretty views of wayyyyy too many kites in the skies, against the setting sun. It became overcast fairly soon though but the rain held off (:

On Friday, I pretty much feasted throughout the day -_-' Dim sum for breakfast with the folks and then Pizza dinner at Da Paolo's with Monica and Steve. Followed by Tarte Citron Meringue for dessert. Sinfully awesome but it was tooo yummy (:

I absolutely lovee lemon tarts. ♥

On Saturday it was the picnic at the Barrage in the evening, followed by poker at Jason's. I lasted about 3 hours before going broke this time. Not too shabby. ;)

On Sunday, I slept all the way till 3pm cause my eye was having a bad day and I felt like I was coming down with the flu.. Then I met Simon and Timothy for 'Source Code', which was fairly good! But it sorta reminded me a little of Phonebooth, because of the looping scenes and how the movie played out in pretty much one location. Haha. The boys had their first Singapore Sling before we met Marie for dinner - Tatsu Teppanyaki at Chijmes. It was actually my first time having proper teppanyaki and I gotta say it was preetttyy awesome. (:

So it has been a very nice long weekend and now I'm home, and... it's definite - I have succumbed to the viruses in me. I hope I'll be well enough for work tomorrow.

Swedish word - sjuk
Which means, ill. So, Hon är sjuk would mean, she is ill.

A little on body parts

ögon - eyes

näsa - nose

mun - mouth

tunga - tongue

öron - ears

kinder (pronounced shinder) - cheeks

benen - legs

Revenge or Redemption.

2011-04-17T00:57:00.000-07:00

A snippet from last week's Min Law that I found particularly interesting, especially the opinion piece by an anonymous student on his view of the Mandatory Death Penalty.

Reactions to Yong Vui Kong’s appeal verdict

The Online Citizen (5 Apr) published a joint statement by Think Centre and Singapore Anti-Death Penalty Campaign (SADPC) on Yong Vui Kong’s appeal verdict. Think Center and SADPC said they found the verdict “highly disappointing” and “daunting” that President Nathan had no apparent right to decide against the advice of the Cabinet regarding the granting of clemency appeals. There was no value in the state execution of Yong, they said, and the reason there were still drug mules entering Singapore proved that the mandatory death penalty (MDP) had failed to serve as a deterrent. They also stated that the Singapore government actively advocates chances to be given to former convicts and to help them rejoin the society under the Yellow Ribbon Project, and they did not see how it could not be extended to Yong and the other drug mules who were mostly marginalised youths led astray.

The statement called for the government to heed the call of its young citizens and people in the world who were moving towards more humane ways to deal with non-violent crimes, rather than imposing the MDP for drug mules. It noted that the UN General Assembly had called on member states to establish a moratorium on executions as a step toward the abolition of the death penalty, and that a total of 109 countries voted in favour of the resolution, while 35 countries voted against and 41 abstained.

The statement concluded by calling for the government to declare an immediate moratorium on all death sentences and to commute Yong’s sentence. The Online Citizen (5 Apr) also republished an appeal by SDP’s Vincent Wijeysingha last November for clemency for Yong.

Separately, Temasek Review (5 Apr) carried an opinion piece on the mandatory death penalty (MDP). The author acknowledged the differences between Singapore and other countries, and stated that he was not trying to get Singapore to emulate our Western counterparts, particularly in Europe, where almost all of the countries had abolished the death penalty. However, he cited, among other reasons, the multitude of alternatives to the gallows that the government could consider, such as tougher or multiple life sentences or caning. He argued that the MDP was not an effective deterrent, as some would-be offenders did not even know that the MDP was being implemented in Singapore.

To be honest, I find this a classic example of a grey area. Both sides of the camp have their own valid reasons behind their arguments. To those who are for capital punishment, a large part of their resolve seemed to stem from the MDP being a deterrence and the whole notion of "an eye for an eye" (in cases where victims are involved.) To them, the rationale was simple: if you had done something wrong, then you have to pay the price, and in this case, we have made it clear that the price is your life. They don't accept the argument that it is not fair for only the runners of the drug lords to bear the brunt of the punishment (in cases of drug-trafficking) when some of them were not even aware of the death penalty to begin with. I guess to them, ignorance is a flimsy excuse.

However, who are we to judge? Normal people living our normal lives, with no clue how these runners fell into the situation of being the pawns of drug lords. It could have been desperation, it could also have been the thrill; yet whatever the circumstances, I still find myself decidedly uncomfortable at the notion of playing God. Who gave anyone the right to end a life that wasn't theirs to begin with? One can then throw it back and say, then who gave the accused the right to take the life that was not his to begin with? Shouldn't he be punished for it? No doubt, but does that have to mean his life for the one he took - This justification of "an eye for an eye" in cases where there are victims involved also makes me uncomfortable... because haven't we always been taught, that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind?

At the other end of the spectrum, they believe that the MDP has not been working well enough as a deterrence to justify its implementation. It is felt that this penalty fails to nip the problem in its bud. To them, life is too sacred and preserving life should always be the first priority. It is felt that there are alternatives such as harsher sentences, harsher rehabilitation processes and even caning/whipping. This is when people cringe and say, "Caning? But that is so barbaric." Are they then suggesting that the taking of another's life is humane? I don't deny that the act of caning is honestly quite boorish and uncivilised even, but you know what they say about a rock and a hard place ;) I agree with the opinion, that "wounds heal but a life once taken can never be returned, it is final."

Yet, going back to the other end, there is the issue of cost of life imprisonment. It might seem tasteless, to put cost against a life, but unfortunately, it is a very real problem. They argue that while the MDP has not been entirely all-encompassing in its effect of deterrence, it has nevertheless helped to curb numbers. It is why Singapore is so well-known for its safety - a comfort that has our harsh laws to thank. Imprisonment and rehabilitation might work, but for how long? If people grow to not fear the penalty of imprisonment, it will only bring about problems that we are currently seeing in the UK - a growing number of inmates increasing costs and whose expenses are borned largely by taxpayers.

I pause at this juncture because I came to realise that a common rebuttal from both sides is this:

Put yourself in their shoes.

One side says, put yourself in the shoes of the family of the victim - wouldn't you want justice to be served? He took the life of your loved one. Are you really willing to let him continue living his? How is that fair?

Then the other side also says, put yourself in the shoes of the family of the accused - wouldn't you hope that he would have a second chance? Wouldn't you beg and plead and pray that instead of taking his life, he is given the chance to show remorse, to rehabilitate, to turn over a new leaf?

How is one supposed to choose a side? I'm still muddling my way through this grey area and at present, find it extremely tough to agree wholeheartedly with one camp.

I know it's really difficult not to have double standards... because there are indeed some awfully heinous crimes that truly deserve the death penalty. It takes a really really big heart, to be able to be, well, the bigger man. But I'd like to draw your attention to the speech given by Matthew Shepard's father at his trial, way back in 1999. That speech gave me the shivers when I first read it, because it rang true, of courage and moving on. It also gave me pause, to consider the notion that life imprisonment can indeed be worse than death.

I would like nothing better than to see you die, Mr. McKinney. However, this is the time to begin the healing process. To show mercy to someone who refused to show any mercy. To use this as the first step in my own closure about losing Matt. Mr. McKinney, I am not doing this because of your family. I am definitely not doing this because of the crass and unwarranted pressures put on by the religious community. If anything, that hardens my resolve to see you die. Mr. McKinney, I’m going to grant you life, as hard as that is for me to do, because of Matthew. Every time you celebrate Christmas, a birthday, or the Fourth of July, remember that Matt isn’t. Every time that you wake up in that prison cell, remember that you had the opportunity and the ability to stop your actions that night. Every time that you see your cell mate, remember that you had a choice, and now you are living that choice. You robbed me of something very precious, and I will never forgive you for that. Mr. McKinney, I give you life in the memory of one who no longer lives. May you have a long life, and may you thank Matthew every day for it.

Today's Swedish words are:

Fängelse - Prison

Bestraffning - Punishment/Penalty

Live fully

2011-04-09T23:41:00.000-07:00

and you'll have no fear of death.

Penning from an internet cafe here in Penang, Malaysia. (Wi-fi is pretty much non-existent.) Flew back here this weekend as relatives from my paternal side gathered to accompany Grandma on her final stretch. It's been pretty melancholy the last day but still interjected with sporadic laughter as Grandma tried to speak to all her children and grandchildren. We're not particularly close to the paternal side of the family, coming back to visit maybe once or twice every two years during the Chinese New Year; but there's still a connection that's difficult to put into words. Grandma used to come visit us in Singapore too, a couple of years back, before she fell ill. I remember how well she could cook and having her with my Grandma from mom's side together always meant quite a delicious feast (:

I never knew how difficult it was, to watch a loved one suffering from an illness, coughing their lungs out and groaning in pain. It was the sense of helplessness as one stood by, not being able to do anything at all to relieve the pain, that was hard to handle - because all you can do is hold her hand, and be there for her.

The idea of death scares me. I know people say to just live life fully and if death comes, let it come. Yet there's only so much you can accomplish in a day right, you always always want to do more ;] We never know when the reaper's gonna come and cut us short.. As the saying also goes, we always fear what we don't understand, what we don't know. So.... what then? Guess it just comes full circle doesn't it. - Live fully, and you'll have no minimal fear of death. Haha.. at the very least, you know you lived to your fullest potential and you went out with a bang (no pun intended).

On a brighter note, 79 days to the BFF's return! (: Rooooobbban's also coming back this July. I must remember to request Fanta-free. Haha. I've also booked my flight for England!!! (: Managed to get it preeetty cheap since it's 5 months early ;) Have I mentioned that I can't wait to start school? Because I am! (That's prolly gonna change 3 months into school...... but you know ;] )

My time's almost up and god this internet cafe is awesome. I'm accompanied by teens playing DOA and random shouts of hokkien vulgarities every 2-3 minutes. I feel like my ears need to be soaped out. Haha.

Blairite

2011-03-23T22:24:00.000-07:00

Overshadowed.

Random snippet of the day: I met a woman who wanted to divorce her husband because he was annoying. When asked to elaborate, she said he talked too much. In fact, he wouldn't stop talking. Mmhmm.

Hearing bits and pieces of updates on the budget speech - Budget for growth, yet borrowing has spiked and inflation continues to soarrrrr. Seems like it's only a matter of time now before BoE increases interest rates too. Best to get my pounds, stat. Don't wanna be paying triple for my school fees during my 2nd year!

You know, speaking of the Brits, I've alwaysss had a soft spot for Tony Blair. Haha. I was so sad when he had to step down as Prime Minister! I remember first seeing him on BBC giving a Labour speech and thinking, "There's something about this guy...". He spoke, not in a flat and serious monotone that you often hear politicians speak in, but with a charisma that drew you in and made you want to sit your ass down and listen. Then I discovered the PMQs and it was like finding my own secret stash of weed that I could indulge in whenever I wanted. The manner in which he handled himself during these weekly sessions was honestly something to behold - the heat generated during these forums could get really intense but he always handled it with such ease and grace.

In his 10 years as Prime Minister, while he might not have lived up to everyone's expectations, I thought he did a fairly awesome job, from increasing public spending on health and education, independence to BoE, his role in climate change, to his work in Northern Ireland. Yet whenever one speaks of Blair now, people always think of the war in Iraq - a blemish that has tainted his stint as the longest serving Labour PM. Once he decided to stand by the US and enter the war, there was no turning back. When no weapons were eventually found, he lost the public trust that he had painstakingly gained through his years in office, just like that. The post-Iraq heat resulted in an anti-Blair rage that eventually played a huge role in his stepping down. Despite the protests and calls that he should be tried as a war-criminal, he never backed down or apologised for the decision he made though. To the critics, he said,

"I know there's a bit of us that would like me to do a Hugh Grant in "Love Actually" and tell America where to get off. But the difference between a good film and real life is that in real life there's the next day, the next year, the next lifetime to contemplate the ruinous consequences of easy applause."

Despite the outcome in Iraq, one thing can't be denied - that Blair had served his country well. He wasn't perfect, but he had done well. Unlike Bush, he was articulate and charismatic and unlike many other politicians (who shall not be named) he was also a family man with a strong moral streak (I know many would beg to differ, but it's my blog damnit.). In his resignation speech, he summed up,

"Politics may be the art of the possible but, at least in life, give the impossible a go. So, of course, the vision is painted in the colors of the rainbow, and the reality is sketched in the duller tones of black, white, and gray. But I ask you to accept one thing - hand on heart, I did what I thought was right. I may have been wrong. That's your call. But believe one thing if nothing else - I did what I thought was right for our country."

Having already left office for 4 years, he remains fairly active in the scene. While he didn't get the coveted role as President of the EC, he became more involved in the Mid-East region and also his Faith Foundation. He has certainly left some decent sized shoes to fill for the tag-team of Cameron/Clegg. It has been a bit of a bumpy beginning and the jury's still out on this coalition.

PS: Blair was a lawyer too!

Swedish word:

Juridik - justice/law

Rättshjälp - legal aid

Leva på min egen - to live on my own

Turning the other cheek,

2011-03-23T06:23:00.000-07:00

I've yet to learn.

I hate the way he thinks he's always right.
I hate the way he carries himself.
I hate the pedestal he puts himself on.
I hate that he judges without really knowing me.
In fact, I hate that he knows nothing about me.
I hate the things that he once did.
I hate the hold he has over them.
I hate that they take his word as gold.
I hate the fact that I hate him.
I hate that he even made me feel hate at all.

Nature

2011-03-20T06:16:00.000-07:00

magnificently glorious, yet unpredictably chaotic.

First it was Christchurch, followed by Yunnan and most recently, Sendai. All within the span of a few months. Mother Nature's surely been throwing her weight around. Alright big shot, it's about time to cut the world some slack huh?

On the 11th, at slightly half past 1 in the afternoon as we all went about our normal routines, be it work, meetings, having lunch, taking a nap or playing with your kids; further up East, the grounds shook and trembled, splitting tarmac and unleashing a tsunami of waves 10 meters high on the unsuspecting Japanese, who received warnings merely 10 seconds before finding themselves in the eye of the quake and waves. The young could run, but for a nation that is also known for the longevity of its people, one can only imagine the struggles the elderly had in seeking help and shelter.

The live coverage of the disaster was gnarly and raised goosebumps every time I came across an update, and the horrors never ceased. Aftershocks (if you can even call magnitudes of 6 an aftershock) followed one after another, exacerbated by threats of radiation as nuclear plants crashed. As the Japanese huddled in solidarity, the nuclear crisis almost seemed like it would overwhelm the land of the rising sun. However, efforts seem to be making some headway as nuclear specialists and relief workers toll round the clock to stop the meltdown and international relief efforts were heartening to watch. Donations poured in and I hope everyone did their part, no matter how small. :)

In these trying times, it gives us pause to take a breather for a minute and be thankful for what we have. While we may bitch and moan about how tiny Singapore is, how boring it can get, how it only takes 90 minutes to get from one end of the country to the other, how we get the sun 365 days of the year and instead of snow, we get it's lame cousin - rain; but let's not forget that being small and being where we are on the equator also has its advantages. We never have to shovel our sidewalks for one (haha.) and while we might be an hour late to meetings, we'll never be a day too late. Most importantly, our risk of natural disasters are slim to none and the worst casualties of our recent flash floods were merely luxury items like cars, coffee and Hermes bags. Hah.

With a natural disaster already claiming over 10,000 lives in Japan on one side of the world, and military forces claiming another few thousands more in Libya, it makes you seriously wonder if the world's coming to implode on itself. Gaddafi, Allied forces, Tomahawk missiles, No-fly zone, Operation 'Odyssey Dawn', doesn't it just make you wish that military weapons never existed to begin with?

On a lighter note, took some time off on Wednesday to meet up with Alexandra and Tina again. They're both leaving Singapore in a couple of months!! Tina back to Sweden and Alexandra is moving to London! So glad to hear that :D I'm definitely gonna be visiting them once I'm in Leeds (: Headed over to Leedon after for dinner with Monica and Steve. Sallad med kyckling, potatis, pumpa, avokado, feta ost och tangerine. Vi hade grilled ost med panini bröd också! Mmmm, jättegott! Det var en jättebra, fantastisk och mycket kul onsdag (:

Söta Victor (: He gets cuter every time I see him. Sighs.

och söta Sebastian (: ♥

Gonna end off with something funny. I don't know what I'd do without Hanssen sometimes... He really finds me the best shit to make me laugh at the most unexpected moments. Lol. (:

Swedish phrase in line with the latest update from Japan:

Farmor och pojke räddades i Japan - Grandma and a boy was rescued in Japan.

Watch us take on the world.

2011-03-04T18:49:00.000-08:00

That's me and my favourite at the airport at 630am (: As she flies back to the States,a place that she might grow to call home, I felt more joy than sadness for her. It's the start of something wonderful (:

The weekend's here again! I'm on the bus on my way to meet Sophie for brunch at Hatched. I know I haven't been blogging much even though there's so much going on in the world and I've been having all these thoughts and contemplations flitting around in my head. My day's filled with work and work, followed by tuition and tuition. Rinse, lather, repeat. I barely have the energy to write once I get home. Haha, I'm not complaining though because I'm lucky enough to be doing what I like, despite the stress that it all brings. (: still, I'm counting down the days to September.

Maybe I'll spend some time blogging later after brunch (: Have a good weekend, wherever you are in the world! xx

Swedish words before I go,
Smeknamn -
which means ... nickname/pet name. Haha.
Beställa -
which means to order. Jag vill beställa en kaffe would mean I would like to order a coffee.

Criminal or Commercial?

2011-02-01T18:34:00.000-08:00

As part of MinLaw's media alert:

TODAY (p 10) published a commentary on how Singapore should be seeking “a new generation of David Marshalls” and encouraging young legal eagles to take on criminal law so that they would be better equipped for international challenges. The commentary noted AG’s comments at the Opening of the Legal year on how the dwindling number of criminal lawyers was “worrying”, as well as CJ’s comments on the salary disparity being one of the main reasons lawyers picked commercial over criminal law practice. It noted that the growth in international regulation in the wake of the global financial crisis had blurred the line between criminal and commercial practice and expertise, and that Singaporean lawyers could no longer content themselves with being masters of civil litigation and dispute resolution alone, but must also hone their criminal practice skills as well. TODAY observed that criminal practice need not only be the sole province of our local courts, but could take on an international dimension, with Singapore lawyers joining the international criminal law directorate set up within AGC. It added that increasingly, Singapore lawyers were joining international investigative and enforcement agencies such as Interpol. It also noted that the criminal justice process in Singapore had received a “significantly refreshed lift” with the recent revisions to the Criminal Procedure Code, and that the new disclosure and discovery rules would set new ground rules for the conduct of criminal trials in Singapore. TODAY called for young lawyers to be encouraged from an early stage of their training to take on the rigours of both criminal and commercial work, while emphasis must be placed by Parliament and the courts on the compassionate practice of law, promoting meaningful pro bono legal services, and providing quality legal aid to crime victims and defendants of limited means. It also proposed that the Criminal Bar, together with AGC, should be encouraged to explore cross-border opportunities for growth for young lawyers interested in criminal law, so that our lawyers could provide world-class legal services in new areas of criminal practice.

An encouraging note to return home after my studies in the UK. Criminal Law has always been an area that I'm fairly intrigued by but on the other hand, also an area where I feel one might not have much potential to thrive and grow, especially in an environment like Singapore (where the line between black and white is pretty stringent and leaves little room for manoeuvre.) Perhaps changes are underway.

Kambodja!

2011-01-30T03:47:00.000-08:00

Tuk tuk, ladies?

A week in the land of smiles flew by faster than one could imagine. The genial smiles of the local people and the pure unadulterated joy that the kids showed at the simplest of things was both humbling and heartbreaking all at once. Seeing their faces light up just from getting a lollipop stirred up some seriously mixed emotions in me. We also met some cool lil kids who spoke such good English and who were so crazy high that they just kept talking and laughing. For that half hour, I couldn't stop smiling (: Those were the fortunate ones.

I guess we're all aware of the dire situations that some Cambodians live in but to actually witness first-hand, the sight of homeless children fervently grasping for chicken bones and bread left behind by customers before the cleaners came, was strikingly hard to bear. They couldn't have been more than 7 or 8 years of age.

Before I went off, I was told by a few, not to give money or to buy things from the street kids because you'll get swarmed and you'd be placing yourself in a situation that could very easily go south. It is true. Some of the children there can get rough when they don't get what they want and I've heard some shouting, ''I don't want food! Give me $1!''. If you don't hand it over, some might kick you, pull your hair or give you the dirtiest look ever for not sparing just a dollar for a homeless kid; I have to grudgingly admit that some of the kids we saw were tremendously skilled in the art of ... guilt-tripping. Hah, it's really a strange dichotomy - how children who are supposedly the epitome of innocence are capable of such emotional manipulation; but doesn't that just make you wonder how long they've been doing it to be able to read their marks so well and pick up on the necessary traits? It's scary to think what survival instincts can drive mere kids to do. Clearly bright kids borned into the wrong circumstances perhaps... Then there's the harsh reality that there are so many of them, and there's only so much you can help at any one point in time.

Yet when kids are grasping your hands so tightly and dragging you to the nearest convenience store, begging you to please buy them some milk, (at 3am, no less.) how does one turn away from that? Well, you don't. So you do what you can, and hope that that bit of respite would get them through another day, another week. I have to say though that situations like these really shows you how genuinely kind (or unkind) some people can be. It gave me great comfort, to see the way he handled all the kids around him and I guess that was one of the reasons why I liked him.

We did not get to visit any orphanages this time as our schedules did not match but going beyond the orphanages, there's so much that can be done to help the homeless kids there.. so I'd really like to go back to Siem Reap again someday soon but before that, I need a plan!

On a lighter note, we did do quite a bit of fun stuff when we were there! The sunrise at Angkor Wat certainly lived up to its reputation. I've always been quite a sucker for sunrises and sunsets, so it was breathtaking to watch as the skies above slowly opened it's gates (: It was also the 2nd time that I saw the moon and the sun simultaneously (besides the summer at Västra Hämnen). The weather was perfect for walking around the temples and exploring the structures that have been standing for centuries. I think my favourite was Ta Keo, a temple mountain built entirely of sandstone in a massive pyramid-like style. After climbing that, our thighs were aching so bad the next day. LOL.

If you're planning on visiting Siem Reap, the Happy Horse Ranch and the ATV rides are also something you should definitely try! I've never rode a horse prior to this so the first time for me was awfully exciting. Heh. My horse was called Gerimino and it was a beautiful brown mare whose first priority was food. It was constantly trying to chomp on the greens along the way and couldn't give two shits about where I was trying to lead it! He was cool though. Heh. There was also a horse called Ron Weasley but my favourites were Gerimino and North Star :] (North Star's the one sniffing me. Haha)

ATV ride to catch the sunset was aweeeeeeeesome! Although my driving skills leave much to be desired but after a few failed attempts, I got the hang of it and it was so fun to drive that massive four-wheeler through the villages! The kids all ran out to say hello :] The sunset was stunning, as expected but it was over so fast! Lol, it went down in like 5 minutes and we were running around like loonies trying to get good jump shots against the sun.
We also went for a cooking class on our last day! Pumpkin soup, Amok fish, Spring Rolls and Mango with sticky rice. Yum yum yum!

All in all, this trip has been pretty awesome (: We did heaps of fun stuff, I've had time to relax, read and sort through some of the messes in my head. It has given me new perspectives on some issues and also made me come to terms with others. I made some mistakes that I wish I could correct but what's done is done and the best we can do is to find the best thing in that train wreck, hold on to it, laugh the rest off and then move on. As the rain pours on here in Singapore, this quote couldn't be more fitting.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."

♥

Some swedish phrases before I go,

hur kunde en vecka passera så fört? - how could a week pass so fast?

vänliga ansikten - friendly faces

Also, SO EXCITED FOR SCHOOL IN SEPTEMBER!!!!!!! Heh (:

Dude!

2011-01-13T05:02:00.001-08:00

So the first post of 2011 and I'm blogging this from the bus.

Where I have a seat.

A seat that is meant for one.

But a seat that I am currently sharing.

With a lady that is clearly so smitten by my good looks and charm that of alllll the other seats she could choose from, she chose to squeeze in and sit half on my lap.

Well, I guess the words, 'personal space' do not exist in her world.

Anyway, Happy 2011 y'all! (: 2010 has been a bit of bumpy ride but towards the later half, it has been very well and eventful. Hopefully this means the good flow will continue on into this year! 2 weeks in and things are looking positive (:

I've spoken to my parents about school and after looking at the options, I've decided to go with Leeds. It's more viable financially and their merit scholarships are a great incentive for me to push myself. They have a really good pro-bono program too which is awesome since that was where a huge part of my motivation to read law stemmed from.
The last hurdle now would be the Visa issue so I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for that. Goddd I'm really really really psychedd to start school!!! (: (:

So in other news, my heart's been going a little stir crazy for the past few weeks. I don't quite understand this obsession but according to Kris, the oh so wise man, it's an unhealthy addiction that needs to kick the bucket. Easier said than done of course.

She is, for lack of a better word, amazing. She is smart and funny (although opinions vary) and has the best laugh that makes you want to laugh too. I guess I came to the realisation that I really really really like her. LOL. However, the past few days have been a bit of a train wreck and it's been making me go completely insane. I've fumbled, stuttered and spazzed out in front of her, losing a million points in the process. But... We live and learn right? And I'm determined to conquer this one. Lol!

I'm also taking a short trip to Cambodia with manda next week. After working through Christmas Eve and NYE, I thought it's a well deserved respite ;) it's gonna be my last trip until I leave for England though. Gotta save up as much as possible. I was telling maine that as long as I lay low for the next 5 months, I'd be on the right track :D
I gave a timeline of 5 months because well...... My partner-in-crime is coming back again this summer!!!!!! We wanted to do Shanghai/Taiwan together but with law school also comes some financial sacrifices so we'll prolly only do a short trip around Thailand/Malaysia in July (: Super psychedd (:

Lastly, was over at Monica's last night and Ulrika was in town (: she gives the most awesome hugs and we all know how I'm a big ass sucker for stora kramarrr! Anyway, I'm so proud of Freja Designs! Things are really starting to take off now and I'm so excited for them with the new stores and coming up with the various new displays. (: It's a bit of a mad house now but I have no doubts that she's gonna do great this year.

To end it off, swedish word of the day from Ulrika, ''Fy fan!'' ;)

--
Sent from my mobile device

"With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are
attainable."
- Thomas Buxton

Tall, Dark and Cool

2010-12-28T08:21:00.000-08:00

and she walks, with just the right kind of swagger.

Slightly late, but Merry Christmas everyone! (: I hope y'all had good celebrations and received awesome gifts, I know I did! Got a few charm bracelets, charm necklaces, VS body mist (which smells heavenly, I must say.) books, prettiest stationery, IKEA stuff (you can't really go wrong when you give me IKEA products. Lol), vouchers and cuddly bears (:

All in all, so much ♥

Still, I have to say that the best gift of all was my law school acceptances! (: I got replies from my first 3 choices now. So the next step would be to discuss it with my parents and decide on a school... If all goes according to plan, I will hopefully be England-bound September next year! I was soooo very very very psyched when I received the acceptances. I feel like it's bar none, the best thing that has ever happened to me this year and what a way to end off 2010 right? (: Now just wish me luck for the discussion with my folks ;)

Christmas celebrations were a bit more mellow this year. Had a julfika at Alexandra's on the 22nd, pot luck dinner on the 23rd at Willie's, family christmas party at my place on 24th and dinner with the swedes on the 25th. Heaps of good food, good gifts, good laughter and just a tinge of alcohol with lovely company = ♥ (:

I got Victor a christmas present too and he was soooooo adorable. Lol. He was really hyper, running around and making truck noises the whole time, yet still so gentle when it came to lil Sebastian (:

Before I go, Swedish phrase:

Världens alla tomtar med en hel del röda luvor - All the world's gnomes with a lot of red hats.

God Jul och Gott Nytt År

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year (:

‎"I know there's a bit of us that would like me to do a Hugh Grant in Love Actually (2003) and tell America where to get off. But the difference between a good movie and real life in that in real life, there's the next day, the next year, the next lifetime to contemplate the ruinous consequences of easy applause." - Tony Blair

Onus Probandi

2010-12-12T21:17:00.000-08:00

the burden of proof

It’s a guilt that I can’t quite comprehend. I felt sorry and sad, as though I could feel the weight of his heavy heart. For just a split second there, my heart clenched, my breath caught and I wished largely for his sake that things could have remained the same.

Yet feelings fade and people change.

It’s a scary thought, that one. It’s as though we've been caught in this whirlwind of emotions and we’re constantly struggling to keep our head above water but we don’t quite know what exactly we are fighting for. Grandeur dreams that we are blindly seeking simply because we believe that there is something better out there. There's no fault in that, of course. Yet, some would say humans are greedy by nature and I’m inclined to agree. Doesn’t it seem ironic how contentment can so easily become such an inadequate sense of satisfaction? The restlessness festers and we start to seek for greener pastures, which is admirable because we should never be contented with mediocrity, right?

But I sometimes question whether mediocrity is really the core issue here; what one has could very well be epic and the whole notion of mediocrity is after all only a standard that we set for ourselves. It’s the ability to find that true sense of contentment that seems to elude us all.

On another note, I have not heard back from the schools yet beyond them asking for my transcript (which can’t possibly bode well?). It’s honestly very very very nerve-wrecking and I find myself eyeing my inbox every five minutes; clearly bordering the edge of obsessive insanity. I’ve never wanted something this bad and hopefully this gets through to the admissions tutor above anything else.

Swedish phrase before I go,

av hjärtans lust – to one’s heart’s content.

Dear December,

2010-12-03T18:23:00.000-08:00

Let's make this one to remember.

I'm still feeling a little under the weather. After the fever came the sore throat and the cough. I had a brief respite before the mighty flu landed. Almost everyone in the office is recovered now, it's about time I got on the bandwagon too, no? :(

So, FRIDAY night and I'm home. Sooooo tired and totally not feeling the awesomeness today. Haha. Was supposed to make a trip to Butter with Drey but my goddd the body was screaming no. It was exceedingly stressful the past week and a half with never-ending case files coming through, phone that was ringing off the hook and careless mistakes that shouldn't have been made. I think I must have lost a million points with my favourite lawyer. But, such is life and we live and learn right? Haha. Today was a good day though. :) I might have redeemed..... 1 point. Lol.

I was at Wilton's en månad celebration last weekend :) Han är så mycket söööttt! I wish Alexandra was there too, but we're gonna be making plans to meet up and I can't wait! :)

Söta Wilton och mig :)

Victor och Sebastian :)

I love children :) Although they can be really exasperating to handle sometimes, but their innocence and the things they say can be so refreshing, funny and out of this world. Lol.

We're going to Ikea tomorrow to get a new table, a christmas tree (that's gonna be as tall as me!) and shiny new decorations. Psyched :) I hope we spend above $300 so I can get the Friends of Ikea card. Haha. I remember going there so often when I was going through my 'Sweden withdrawal'... it used to almost be a weekly affair, I kid you not. Haha.

Today's swedish word is,

forbereda - prepare.

Det är så mycket att forbereda för Jul - There is so much to prepare for Christmas.