Crumpled Home

The wanting comes in waves

Luke — Wed, 16 May 2012 03:07:41 +0000

(RJ helped sell some things on ebay, and in exchange was allowed to buy something for himself… Instead of getting an actual bird skeleton, something that he’s wanted for a while, he settled for a metal bird-skull on a chain.)

RJ: I can’t believe it! It’s finally here! It took two whole weeks!

Dad: It actually looks good, too. Solid.

RJ: I know! It’s really pretty cool. I think it’ll be pretty popular at school. I bet everyone will want to check it out. That will last about a week, maybe ten days. Then it will be a bit boring again. After that, you know, something else will be cool and who knows what that will be.

RJ feeling just a little bit gansta: Bird skull necklace, hoodie, and random pair of sunglasses that he found.

Happy Mother’s Day, 2012

Luke — Tue, 15 May 2012 03:07:16 +0000

Happy Mother’s Day, everyone! We hope all you Mom’s had a terrific day. Around here, the kids woke up early, putting together a great breakfast for Mom and tried to let her have a quiet, relaxing morning — before going on their normal weekend rampage.

Wow!!!! LR cooked up a huge batch of waffles and arranged this delicious breakfast for Mum! I'm really looking forward to Father's day.

After chopping strawberries and whipping the cream, RJ carefully arranged Mum's favorite chocolates on the platter.

Salted caramels and dark chocolate Belgian truffles... Mmmmmmm....

Happy Mother' Day!

RJ made a placemat for Mum with lots of reasons why he likes to have her around.

We were all surprised to discover her love of energy drinks and the movie, "Home Alone".

While the outside was decorated with a beautiful drawing of flowers, the inside of LR's card featured a friendly bear.

LR makes sure Mum notices how many X's and O's are across the bottom of the card -- probably enough to last the whole year.

Getting a big hug afterwards is always the best part.

Fantastic flying bacon, of justice

Luke — Mon, 14 May 2012 03:07:53 +0000

(The kids have been making toys and figurines out of polycaprolactone, a non-toxic plastic that is malleable in hot water… While LR has been rapidly expanding her collection of bouncy balls and tiny dinner sets, RJ invented a new superhero… He has wings. He has a unicorn horn. He is simultaneously awesome, majestic, and devastating, and has an unparallelled ability to smell out truffles. He is… Unipig. )

RJ: Unipig soars through the air ready to fight evil!

Oh no! His ultimate enemy Doctor Zhu Zhu, an evil mutant mosquito, is attacking! He flys out of the darkness of hell to battle Unipig.

Luckily Unipig has his amazing watering trough of justice, the only weakness of evil mutant mosquitoes and Doctor Zhu Zhu drowns… Arrrgghghglurglurgblurblurrbglurrrghhh. (dramatic drowning noises).

RJ: … Most people don’t know this, but Unipig is allergic to cheese. No salty southern cheeseburgers for him. They make him throw up.

Unipig (a winged, unicorn-horned pig) takes a short break from fighting evil for a quick drink from the water trough.

Update: Polycaprolactone plastic is pretty amazing stuff and it isn’t just for the kids. We got one of the big containers from Plastimake. There are lots more ideas on how to use it at their website. Highly recommended!!!

Time for a break

Luke — Fri, 11 May 2012 03:07:48 +0000

(Discussing a school council meeting at our house…)

LR: My teacher will need to bring her kids along, because she’s divorced and she doesn’t have a husband to watch them.

RJ: What!? No husband? Then how did her kids get fertilized?

LR: She used to have a husband, but they got divorced.

RJ: What happened? Did she kill him?

LR: No, RJ! They got divorced so she wouldn’t kill him!

Office mediated apoptosis

Luke — Wed, 09 May 2012 03:07:36 +0000

(At the end of a long day)

Dad: You look worn out. Long day?

Mom: Yeah. Exhausted.

RJ: Poor Mum. She always works so hard.

Mom: I need a job where I’m not at a computer all day. It’s soul destroying.

RJ: (suddenly REALLY interested / concerned) Cell destroying!!? How does that work? Do they get exploded?

Skepticism is justified

Luke — Tue, 08 May 2012 03:07:04 +0000

(Leaving the kids’ for a sleep over at Auntie Jess’ place…)

Mom: RJ, be good. And remember your manners please.

RJ: Sure thing! I’m always good.

Mom: Uh huh. And LR, for goodness sake make Auntie Jess WANT to have children one day!

LR: Cute and cuddly, Mum! Cute and cuddly!

Let’s get down to business

Luke — Mon, 07 May 2012 03:07:01 +0000

(After rearranging some furniture)

Mom: So what do you think of your new desk, RJ?

RJ: It’s great! I just had to add a few skulls to it and now it’s perfect.

Let's get down to business!

Timeshares not available

Luke — Fri, 04 May 2012 03:07:28 +0000

(RJ wanders past, arms full of ‘stuff’)

Dad: Umm… RJ, doesn’t that all belong outside?

RJ: Oh yeah, Dad. I’m just moving it in here for a couple of minutes.

I’m sensible, you know! A man with his own brain.

You take your lumps

Luke — Thu, 03 May 2012 03:07:58 +0000

(High velocity RJ tears past the kitchen, then suddenly stops with a concerned look on his face.)

RJ: Dad! I have a question and it’s really important!

Dad: Okay. What is it?

RJ: Can warts grow in your mouth?

Dad: Ummm… Maybe, but I really don’t think so. There are other kind of bumps and things that you can get, but probably not warts.

RJ: Oh. Okay. Well I have a lump and it just keeps getting bigger.

Dad: (concerned) Well perhaps we’ll take a loo-..

RJ: (sticking finger in mouth) Issssss riiigh baaa heeeeeaaa and-. HEY! IT’S A TOOTH! THANKS DAD!

(RJ resumes his trajectory and zooms out of the room.)

Let’s not overthink this

Luke — Tue, 01 May 2012 03:07:47 +0000

(moments after finishing breakfast)

LR: Wait! Dad! Don’t clean up yet! This is important!

(RJ and LR turn away for a moment, then turn back… with spoons on their noses.)

LR & RJ: (in unison) It’s SCIENCE!!!

Dad: Brilliant!

LR: SCIENCE!!!

Dad: Amazing!

RJ: SCIENCE!!!

Dad: Terrific!

LR: SCIENCE!!!

Dad: Stupdendous!

RJ: Now hand over your knickers!!!!

And a moment later, it was off to the lab for some more experiments.