Poppa: So does anyone want to get up and fetch me a glass of water?

(no volunteers)

Poppa: (gets up and walks into the kitchen) I guess I’ll get it myself.

LR: (with mock dismay) How come Poppa has to do all of the work around here?

Dad: So what happened at your school today, RJ?

RJ: I took my whip scorpion into school and showed it to everybody.

Dad: Great! Did you teach the class all about them?

RJ: Yep! But it was terrible. No one asked any questions! … except for Harry.

Dad: What did he ask?

RJ: He asked if whip scorpions lived in England and I told him, “NO! They only live in Perth. There are lots of them and live in the roof of your house.”

We’re expecting the phone calls from the other parents to start any day now…

Your child is having nightmares about giant insects living in your roof?

What a surprise!”

Our incredibly brave**, heroic** and good-looking** dad rescued us from this marauding beast** that had been ransacking the countryside and was intent on destroying the farm.

We found this guy having a drink from the dog's water bowl. He's a bobtail lizard which are pretty common around here.

**Hyperbole employed as official privilege of the author

The grapes have ripened and been harvested again for another year. This bunch of turkish seedless table grapes was delicious!

RJ gets some serious needle and thread action.

LR works on sewing together a present for someone special.

Grammy helps RJ put the padding into the pillow. 'It needs a LOT in there so it is SUPER soft.'

Grammy helps LR pin some of the pieces together in preparation for the sewing machine.

Mum was jamming in the kitchen. LR picked the music.

Dad tried the free lens that was given to LR. Not bad!

After exploring the field and trying to piece together a kangaroo skeleton, we all head back up to the shed to climb on the tractors.

LR finds some kind of emergency nourishment in her pocket which helps her survive the long journey.

There was a bit of a discussion about the harpoon and whaling in general. Conclusion: we need a cannon at the farm to shoot the harpoon (in case we are attacked by whales).

Watch out poppa! Hat thief!!!

Poppa is hatless and dismayed. And unsatisfied, she strikes again!

Water is pretty scarce around here during the summer. The watering trough brings a crowd of roos every night.

The roos like to listen to Abba while having a drink. LR and RJ put on a dance performance for them.

RJ does some cool moves and crazy spins.

LR took advantage of this to continue her experiments on tooth fairy behaviour. Apparently, tooth fairies have trouble fetching teeth in white styrofoam cups, but coloured plastic cups appear to be okay. Who knew, eh?

There goes number two!!!

LR: Hey! Why is there peanut butter in my dice cup?

Dad: Did you squeeze the dice too hard? The peanut butter might have squished out the edges.

LR: (sighing) No, Dad. I don’t think so.

RJ: Those dice are from peanut town! Everything is made from peanuts there. Houses. Clothes. Trees. The cars.

Dad: Anything else?

RJ: Yes, everything… (horrified) Even the breakfast cereal.

(over breakfast)

RJ: When I was a little kid… I got stabbed.

Dad: Stabbed? You mean before you came to live with us?

RJ: Yeah. When I was living with my grandma… in Malaysia.

Dad: Malaysia? Okay… How did it happen?

RJ: I was playing with a pen and I stabbed my knee. I still have a little sore on my knee from it. See?

Dad: And that’s also why there’s ink all over your knee right now?

RJ: Yeah.

Dad: Strange that I’ve never noticed that before.

RJ: Yeah.

LR shows off the camera gear she picked up on the weekend.

(The reason the picture looks weird is that I shot this on film that expired 10 years ago, on a 30 year old camera, and I don’t have a scanner.)

Dad: (starting an imagination game) So you two head down to the park one day and there’s something strange there that you’ve never seen before.

RJ and LR discuss exploring it, identifying that it’s an alien rocket ship, and finding the door.

Dad: You can’t find a door handle on the outside.

LR: So we run home and get some saws and come back.

RJ: And we grab an axe too!

LR and RJ: And we SMASH and CHOP the door open and run inside and steal the spaceship and fly it home!!!

Dad: (blearily rubbing eyes) What is this? RJ and the breakfast full of dinosaurs?… Okay, what do you want to eat?

RJ: This dinosaur wants flies. You’d better get to work; they’re hard to catch and he needs a lot of them.

Dad: Okay. I’ll see what I can do. How about the others?

RJ: Meat. Lots of meat.

Dad: And you?

RJ: Just rice bubbles…

(half an hour later, RJ wanders past, arms still full of dinosaurs)

Dad: RJ, wouldn’t it be easier to carry them in something? A bag or a basket or something?

RJ: (yelling back) No! I don’t need to. They all get around on rocket boosters.

Dad: Wow! That’s so cool. Dinosaurs with rocket boosters.

RJ: No. It’s not really great, because they don’t have legs. That’s why they had the rocket boosters put on.