Crumpled Home

Great Songs by RJ and LR

Luke — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 03:07:46 +0000

Over the school holidays, LR and RJ had the chance to write and record their own songs with a live musician! Be warned, these are extremely catchy tunes.

Monsters Chow, by RJ

Blue Eyed Cat, by LR and friend

[ Click the pictures to get to the songs. ]

Speaking from experience

Luke — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:07:32 +0000

RJ, on household artillery:

I know what the dumbest weapon in the whole world is.

A toaster.

First, you never know when it will actually go off and shoot. It just pops when it wants to.

Second, if it doesn’t pop up in time, it just smokes and burns and then your whole face is filled with smoke and you’re coughing and it’s just terrible.

Third…

Well…

It mostly just shoots toast. Not many bad guys are scared of toast.

So you can see, a toaster is the worst… weapon… ever!

Respect my authorit… Oh nevermind…

Luke — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 03:07:24 +0000

(reading to the kids in the car)

Dad: … Dun dun daaaaaaaaahhhhhhh… That’s the end of the chapter guys.

LR: Daddy! Read more!

RJ: Yeah, keep going!

Dad: We’re almost there. It’s time to stop.

LR: If you stop now, I will not be pleased. There will be consequences, Daddy… Consequences.

RJ: Yeah! You better keep reading! I’m reaching my limit…

LR: (dramatically) CONSEQUENCES!

RJ: … and you wont like me when I reach my limit. I’m just like Mom!

Dad: True. Normally, Mom is just lovely to be around…

Mom: (dark, foreboding look)

Dad: … But it’s never safe to be around Mom when she’s reached her limit.

Mom: (darker, more threatening look)

Dad: I guess I’m pushing the limit, right now.

LR: CONSEQUENCES!!!!!

RJ: I’m getting to my limit, Daddy! I’m warning you!

LR: !!! CONSEQUENCES !!!!!

RJ: !!! LIMITS !!!

Dad: Okay… Okay… A few more pages then.

Do not push his limits, or there will be consequences!

How to save an orangutan

Luke — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 03:07:51 +0000

Towards the end of last year, LR decided she wanted to help some endangered species in whatever way she could. She remembered our local zoo has an orangutan conservation and breeding program with several large, well designed enclosures, and decided that donating money to their program would be a great way to make a difference.

Her idea was to hold an art show where kids at her school could donate two dollars to enter. In return, they would get a certificate and also a chance to win a huge jar of lollies. She hung several of these signs around the school and recruited a few of her friends to help collect money during their lunch breaks.

LR printed out these posters and hung them around the school.

After four weeks, she had a huge jar full of coins and only four pieces of art for the show. It turns out the kids wanted to win the jar of candy more than be in an art show. She called off the art show, but continued the lolly competition.

After weeks of work, she had collected over $250 dollars!

LR didn’t mind, though — every bit of money would help the orangutans. At the end of the school year, the winner’s name was drawn from a hat by the school principal. The winner of the lollies was a second grader and not even one of her friends.

We contacted the Perth Zoo who were really excited to have LR come in. They presented her with a certificate and showed her around.

During the school holidays, we contacted the zoo who were delighted to have LR come in and tell her story. They presented her with a certificate and gave her a tour. Unfortunately, the uncooperative giraffes wouldn’t come over to be fed, but she had a great time anyway.

Good job, LR! We’re amazed at what you accomplished. You definitely made a huge difference.

Well done LR! We can't believe you did this all yourself. We're so proud of you.

Nuts about religion

Luke — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 03:07:05 +0000

(while eating dinner)

RJ: Can I have some more lamb, please?

Mom: Eat some salad first. You haven’t even eaten any pine nuts, and you love those.

RJ: I can’t eat that!

Mom: Why not?

RJ: Because that pine nut is the God of Victory! I’m still praying to him.

Mom: Well you’re not getting anything else to eat until you eat those.

LR: Don’t worry about that one, RJ, there’s about twenty more gods on your plate right there… I’ve eaten all the gods on my plate, and they were great!

Dad: So what have your gods done for you lately, RJ?

RJ: Well… They helped me at the beach today?

Dad: Really? How?

RJ: I didn’t get eaten by a shark! They kept all the sharks away.

Dad: Good point. I guess they kept all the thunderstorms and earthquakes away too.

RJ: (Bows head and prays to the pine nut). Yep. They’re powerful and delicious. (chomp)

First day of school, 2012

Luke — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 03:07:14 +0000

After a stressful evening of packing school bags and reviewing essential school and office supplies (including psychedelic liquid filled rulers and pencil sharpeners), the kids are ready for the first day of school.

RJ is starting Year 1 and LR enters Year 4! Congrats guys!

The first day of school. Welcome to Year 1, RJ. Welcome to Year 4, LR!

Everything was all very friendly until we reached the school gate... and then LR insisted that she not be followed to her classroom. Parents are just too embarrassing.

RJ waits at the door to his classroom. He's totally ready for Year 1, but are they ready for him?

Fit for a king

Luke — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 03:07:54 +0000

The other day, RJ disappeared into the playroom for an hour to work on a lego project. The peace and quiet was truly remarkable, if not somewhat disconcerting. We left him to himself and when he was finally finished, he presented us with… this:

A fully automatic lego guillotine for, as he put it, “taking care of bad guys and kings.”

The good news is that now we know that he learned something during our trip to France.

Behold RJ's fully automatic lego guillotine, fit for a king!

Transmogrification (without the tiger)

Luke — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 03:07:27 +0000

RJ: Dad, if LR comes back from camp with four legs, big marshmallow lips and a mane and a tale and hooves, do we have to keep her?

Dad: I’m not sure RJ. If she can talk, I think we have to.

RJ: She wont be able to talk, Dad. She’s a horse.

Dad: A horse could be kind of useful. Do you think she could make it up the stairs to her room?

RJ: No way!

Dad: I guess she could stay in the backyard. Mom would be pretty upset if we got rid of her.

RJ: It just wouldn’t work. She would eat all the plants and wouldn’t be able to do her jobs around the house. She’d have to go.

Dad: I guess you’re right. Oh well, I’ll miss her.

Pony Camp!

Luke — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 03:07:53 +0000

It’s a little quiet at home right now. LR is away at horse riding camp and the normal level of intensity at our place has dropped a bit – although only a little bit, the RJ reality distortion field is still fully operational.

Pony camp is an amazing place — I get all fluttery just thinking about it — a magical land where you spend all day riding horses, cleaning and scrubbing horses, feeding horses, and (be still my beating heart) shoveling horse manure and cleaning out stalls. Mom insists that this is little girl heaven, but I’m not totally convinced.

For the first time in her life, she has ‘her own’ mobile phone with her (it’s a spare that we’ve borrowed from Poppa for the week). We told her it’s just for emergencies or if something goes wrong and she needs to talk to us. After giving her one or two instructions on how to use it, we carefully put it in her backpack and waved goodbye.

Five hours later, while deep in the middle of one of my projects, I was interrupted by an unexpected phone call… from LR and a room full of 7 year old girls suffering some kind of ‘emergency’ involving a large amount of giggling. Apparently, she had to test to see if the phone was still working properly…

Regardless, I’m looking forward to having her back when she gets home… as long as she leaves her boots outside.

Just before she left, she drew this on the fridge for us.

The fridge cow will keep you company while LR is away.

Choose your battles

Luke — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 03:07:42 +0000

(While playing in the waves at the beach…)

(RJ runs up to the ocean raising his fist into the air.)

RJ: (roaring at the ocean) I challenge you, Poseidon!!! My mortal enemy! YOU SHALL BE DEFEATED!!!

(RJ punches and kicks, throwing himself at the ocean with great ferocity. Meanwhile, a huge wave sweeps forward towards him.)

LR: (from a safe distance) Look out RJ!

RJ: What the!? ACK.

(The wave crashes over him, dragging him up the beach.)

RJ: Help! Help! Where’s the manual? I need the instruction manual! This isn’t working properly!