Morgan Freeman’s publicist denied accusations that the actor was chopping his step-granddaughter down earlier this week but there was no mistaking that he sure was into whatever Alicia Keys was talking about at the Mandela Day Gala Dinner on Wednesday night.

Meanwhile, Mashonda was driving back and fourth in front of Swizz Beat’s crib blasting a scratched up copy of 702’s “Get It Together” out her Acura Integra. How dreadful.

How dreadful.

A.V. Club’s post about the 24 Sexual Things R. Kelly Wants almost completely deads the notion that he is a musical genius but the his freaky fans will appreciate his tongue word play. Check out my fav quotables from The Pied Piper ’s new mixtape under the jump.

• For haters to get fucked with a sandpaper dick (“Best I Ever Had”)

• To have you scream “It hurts, it hurts!” then have you concede that his lovemaking quenches your thirst, your thirst (“Birthday Sex”)

• To make the p-u-s-s-y cry (“P.U.S.S.Y. Cry”)

• To have them bitches that are hating on you rubbing on you (“Every Girl”)

• To hit you with super-love so pleasing it’s better than any TV show, better even than HBO, so good he’ll get thumbs-up when he goes low (“Supa Dupa Man”)

• For you to get on his lap and go-go, since the rearview mirror is saying no po-po (“Makin’ Me Wanna”)

• To fuck every girl he sees, from the hood to the fucking industry, even the Statue of Liberty (“Every Girl”)

• To eat the coochie of all the girls wearing Gucci (“Every Girl”)

To us Superhead is just another dick sucking [not that there is anything wrong with that] trollop trying to cash in on her past sexual exploits with athletes and celebrities but to The Today Show she is a relationship expert.

SHAM. FUCKING. WOW.

And what’s with her claiming to have two sons now? Bleh, maybe this is just another lie that she is trying to pass off as a truth.

Now take back everything you just said about Tiny.

As I previously stated on Twitter when God made Tiny he broke out all of his photoshop brushes. The Baby Mama Brigade was in full effect last night at Luckie Food Lounge in Atlanta to celebrate her born day. I am going to let her be great and save the pork jokes for a later time.

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Now how out of place does that shit look?  Did Azzure have a warehouse sale over the weekend?

It’s random enough that Queen Pen popped up at an event for the NBA [strike one] x NAACP [strike two] in 2009 [strike three] but if she was going to do so she could have at least put a little bit more effort in her get up for the night. Dressing like the “young” auntie who always has black weave glue on all of her clothes is not the move.

I mean really, the fact that she is walking around wearing anarchy a’s and a prison issued numbers is just a wee bit disturbing.

The milk is not clean but was it ever?

I’m going to refrain from saying anything negative about Gabrielle Union since I don’t want her legion of devoted fans popping up in the c-section raising holy hell so I will just let you do the honors.

Crunkland, it’s Kid Fury again with more music that needs your stamp of approval. Please get into this track by an artist named Hot2Def — it’s called “Leggings And Heels”. This one is for all the ladies and cunty butch queens who hit up Forever 21 before the club and keep the receipts to get store credit the morning after. Make the dance floor your runway, bitch! However, if your legs look like cottage cheese in a Hefty bag when you put your leggings on, this song is not for you. No shade.

“How you walk, girl/So short, but ya heels so tall, girl/Perfect balance! You don’t ever fall, girl/Even wear ‘em in the season after fall, girl/Without a flaw, girl”

Okay, so the lyrical content isn’t exactly poetry, but you can shake ass, pop puss, and practice your Top Model strut to this shit. The Creole Gods are indeed pleased. What more do you need? Geisha, Khia, and I are currently working on a remix called, “Beaters and Grills”. Stay tuned.

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