“Good times come and good times go I only wish the good times would last a little longer”

- Social Distortion
“Story Of My Life”

Recently I saw an article called:

“15 Things You Should Give Up
In Order To Be Happy”

It was a bit too touchy-feely (and cheezy) for my taste. But some of the 15 things it mentions were good (if not common sense) — like not complaining, etc.

Too bad the entire premise was complete and utter horse pucky.

Yes, I’m sure it gave many people the warm fuzzies.

But I found it funny.

And, kind of naive.

Why?

Because seeking “happiness” is a crock.

In my humble (but ALWAYS accurate) opinion, this seeking of perpetual happiness is why everyone is out constantly getting stoned or drunk… having sex with multiple different partners each week… eating themselves into an early grave… and popping antidepressants like candy.

Everyone wants to be “happy”.

But nobody wants to be realistic.

We live in soft times in the western world.

Just 150 years ago, most people didn’t whine about “happiness.”

Didn’t need to be hopped up on pills.

And didn’t “self medicate” 24/7.

Frankly, they were just HAPPY to be alive.

To live past 35 years old with kids that survived the chicken pox.

And to not get scalped, raped, pillaged or have their entire tribe wiped out by an invading army.

It’s loco today.

People are way too soft.

They do everything in their power to avoid (or numb) pain… instead of facing it, kicking its ass and becoming stronger from it. Hey I used to be as guilty as anyone with this. For most of my life I did the same thing — always trying to avoid pain and failure and disappointment and rejection like the zombie apocalypse plague.

Now?

Now I EMBRACE it all.

The good and the bad.

Frankly, I needed the pain in my life to get where I am today.

(And I still have a long way to my goals, and so am already preparing for the next round…)

Think about it:

There’s nothing “happy” about being in pain.

Yet, you can’t accomplish anything significant in life without pain, failure and sometimes even humiliation. Which means, if accomplishments make you happy (and you wouldn’t be in business if you didn’t want to accomplish things), you’re kinda up shizzit creek without a paddle.

But don’t you worry, my friend.

Your pal Sifu Settle is going to give you the solution right now:

Don’t seek “happiness.”

Instead, seek ye wisdom.

Hey, don’t scoff, Batman.

I can only speak for myself about this, as I haven’t really talked about it with anyone else (until today). But wisdom is about the ONLY thing I pray for (as far a praying for things for myself) these days. And since doing so, my life has gotten much better overall.

Decisions are more clear cut.

Peace of mind is at an all time high.

And, yes, there’s a lot more joy going on in these thar hillz.

But seeking just happiness is dangerous.

After all…

A drug addict is probably “happy” when stoned out of his mind.

But that doesn’t make it healthy, does it?

That’s why seeking happiness by itself is backasswards.

Seek ye wisdom FIRST.

Then, happiness (which is nearly always ephemeral — and can leave you at ANY time, just ask someone who’s suffering through a painful death… or rotting away in a nursing home with no family… or watching one of those gawd-awful 45-minute long goo-roo video sales letters) sticks around longer than usual.

Anyway, that’s my take on it.

Do with it what ye will.

I know some of my subscribers who have been edu-ma-cated in the self help section of the book store and magic fairy dust FaceBook quotes will disagree with much of this.

Maybe even all of it.

I can already see the 15 page responses coming.

But guess what?

Nothing will change the fact that I’m right.

Why I always have been right.

And, why I always WILL be right.

Yes, I’m a wise ass.

10-4.

Ben Settle

P.S. Time is running out to get the June “Email Players” issue — which includes a simple (but crazy effective) way to write emails that pull lots and lots of sales in just minutes per day.

Easily one of my most profitable email secrets.

Here’s where to go:

www.EmailPlayers.com

And some people wonder what that is, exactly.

The best description I can think of is from the book “The Game” by Neil Strauss, which is about a guy’s journey from being a total chump with the women… to becoming one of the world’s greatest pickup artists.

Here’s what I mean:

Towards the end of the book, the author (his code name is “Style”) becomes a pickup artist guru. In fact, he’s such a respected guru the rush of newbie pick up artists entering the scene (due to seminars and courses sold by OTHER pick up artist newbies online — kind of like the Internet marketing scene today) start to emulate him.

In other words…

They all shave their heads just like Style does.

They grow his exact goatee and wear his exact kind of clothing.

And they even use the exact same pickup lines Style uses.

The result?

Before long, the entire part of town where these guys do their thing in is crawling with little Style “clones” marching the strip looking the exact same, acting the exact same and using the exact same “tricks”, one-liners and techniques. (Which become less and less effective the more these sheeple mindlessly use them on the same pool of women).

And eventually, all that’s left are a bunch of “mini me” Styles.

No original thoughts.

No daring to buck the trend.

No questioning goo-roo “dogma.”

And that, my friend, is what a goo-roo fanboy is.

No matter how dumb or stoopid or even illegal the action their favorite goo-roo takes, these fanboys’ little “rationalization hamsters” will tell them it’s okay and perfectly legal and cool because their favorite goo-roo does it.

Kind of amusing, isn’t it?

And so, now you know what a goo-roo fanboy is.

Ben Settle

P.S. The June “Email Players” issue goes to the printer next week.

And there’s nary a goo-roo fanboy in sight.

Just real business owners.

With real products/services.

Wanting to make some real sales for a change.

Go here to get your email marketing groove on:

www.EmailPlayers.com

“What do you reckon of ‘canned’ email auto-responder series that can be bought and used for follow up?”

I’ve seen this question a few times now.

So methinks something’s obviously up.

Here’s my take on it:

I’m indifferent.

If you use them and they work, great!

But at the same time, if other people in your market are using the exact same emails (or variations of them) then I would not expect miracles unless you’ve got an air tight relationship with your list.

That’s the bad newz.

The good newz?

You don’t need to be a mega jeenius to write your own emails. After all, just because I’m a mega jeenius and write emails doesn’t mean you have to be.

Think of it like this:

Imagine you and your friend are in the woods.

And out of nowhere Bigfoot comes barreling out of the bushes, frothing at the mouth, blood in his eye.

Ol’ hoss is hungry.

And YOU two jokers are on the menu.

Well, guess what?

You don’t have to outrun Bigfoot to survive.

You ONLY need to outrun your friend.

And so it is in emails.

By learning my Email Players system, you may or may not ever have “the best” emails, but you will almost certainly stand out (run faster) from your competition than by using canned emails.

I can virtually guarantee it.

And, I’d also bet your sales would be much higher, too.

So that’s my take.

Go ahead and use canned emails.

See if they work.

But learn to write your own, too.

At least, if you want to make the big bux.

Go here to learn my system:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Always a fun time.

And, one thing we pontificated about is all the dorky jargon you see bandied about by goo-roo fanboys (and their masters in the goo-roo-hood).

Our favorite was:

“Jedi mind trick”

And how they think they’re “tricking” people into buying.

Anyone who actually knows how to SELL (and not just pitch) understands how idiotic that whole mindset is. How, for example, you can use things like the so-called “law of reciprocity” (i.e. supposedly where you give something away free, and your poor sucker customers will feel sooooo obligated then to buy from you…) to get a one time sale.

Maybe.

But even if you do, then what?

You think they’ll be back for more?

For a second sale?

(Where the REAL $$ is in marketing.)

I doubt it, Chewie.

Personally, I prefer doing things that are in harmony with human psychology and sound, principled thought.

Like, for example what I call:

“Repulsion Marketing”

This is where I write emails that purposely REPEL people I don’t want buying by mocking them.

Kinda like this email is doing to goo-roo fanboys.

It’s no trick, babycakes.

I really DON’T want someone who brags about using “jedi mind tricks” on their list or whatever.

They’re the worst customers I’ve seen.

Frankly, they’re usually thieves and liars.

Who wants it?

Anyway, so that’s that.

Hey, want to make more sales?

Forget the jedi goo-roo tricks.

Instead try pissing someone off every day in your emails and watch what happens to your sales and the overall list quality.

It takes ballz.

And it may make you uncomfortable.

But only then, a jedi marketer will you be.

Begin your training here, padawan:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

I know, I’ve been talking a lot about my favorite show “Breaking Bad” in the hallowed pages of these emails lately. And recently, my fanboyism for the show has paid off in spades as “Email Players” subscriber Tobin Poppenberg recently sent me a t-shirt with a figure drawing of the show’s main character “Heisenberg.”

You can see it by clicking here.

(I’m quite proud of it ha ha)

By the way, side note #1:

The quickest way to get my attention is to buy me stuff like this.

I’m shameless like that…

Side note #2:

If you’ve never seen the show, the shirt probably looks dorky. But, I can assure you, it’s kool and the gang.

Anyway, is there a point to this?

Of course there is.

It’s all in the shirt, baby.

You see, the guy on the shirt “Heisenberg” in the show has gained a sort of cult-like following amongst the meth-using and dealing underworld. Nobody (alive) has really seen him, and so all people had was a vague drawing of what he looks like.

And he’s a legend in a sense.

Something larger than life.

Not just a man… but an icon.

A man to be feared… and respected.

And as a result, he attracts the attention of everyone from competition (like a billion dollar drug cartel)… to the DEA (who he continues to elude)… to thousands of “fans” of his product.

It’s not all that different online.

Especially when you use my email system.

Do email the Settle way and you start attracting all kinds of attention, and become kind of a “legend” in your own niche(s).

Some of it good.

(Like JV partners, clients, colleagues, etc).

Some of it bad.

(Like idiot copycats, jealousy, etc).

But attract attention you will.

And with that attention comes more sales.

More customers.

And, yes, more profits.

So sac up, Heisenberg.

Get those emails out.

And, when you’re ready to play with the big boys, go to:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

P.S. Next issue (coming up soon)…

I’m going to show you how to legally get other people to write your emails for you… without them even knowing it (and without copying other emails). Also going to hand you a bunch of cool subject line templates… and a proven way to “reanimate” dead buyers on your list who haven’t bought in a while (or any leads who haven’t heard from you in months or even years).

So much information.

All packed into one issue.

But, only if you subscribe in time at:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Usually… I reject them.

Why?

Isn’t that like flushing money away?

Mayhaps.

But if someone cancels (especially during or right after their first month) it’s usually from one or more of these 4 reasons:

1. They just wanted the free stuff

This is the mark of a loser.

You cannot do much about these types, they are who they are, and whenever your offer is heavily “bribe” based (like mine is) you will attract them.

2. They’re quitters

They’re like the guy who only takes a health supplement for 30 days, doesn’t feel results, then quits. These people are not serious about their success.

Fact is, most who stay past 3 months stick around long term.

Make lots of sales.

And CRAVE more information to get more.

And those who quit?

They often cite money as the reason.

Which brings us to reason number 3…

3. I have not provided them enough value

Money is NEVER the real reason.

Even a homeless beggar on the street can afford $3.23 per day (the subscription price). Money is an excuse, but not a legitimate reason. And if that reason is cited as the excuse then I’ve either not provided them enough value (so why let them re-subscribe if that’s the case?) or…

4. They are not using the information

Again, it’s not the money.

$3 and change per day won’t break anyone.

Most “broke” people I know piss away 5 times that each day at Starbucks. So I’m either underwhelming them (so again, why let them come back?) or they are not APPLYING the information. If they don’t apply it, they can’t benefit from it and there’s no reason for them to stick around (or for me to allow them to come back later — no do-nothings allowed).

So those are the main reasons people quit.

And also the reasons I reject most who try to come back.

Some people slip through the cracks.

But I usually catch them.

And when I do, I go “Soup Nazi” on them:

“No newsletter for you!”

Sometimes I even tell them to try back in 1 year (another trick I learned from the Soup Nazi).

Hey, I SUFFER for my newsletter.

I demand perfection from myself.

And… from each issue.

How can I tolerate any less from subscribers?

Ben Settle

You know what those are, right?

Basically they are people who latch onto a goo-roo and ape everything that goo-roos does. They use the goo-roo’s emails verbatim. Never test anything outside accepted goo-roo orthodoxy. And, even worse, start selling info products based on what little they know (which is often skewed or outdated info) to OTHER hapless newbies who then follow suit — at which point they grant themselves goo-roo status.

Not saying they’re all “bad” people.

But they are often a zealous bunch of baboons.

And frankly, I wouldn’t be shocked if they had their own “creed.”

Maybe even their own “commandments.”

Something like…

I  Thou shalt tell people to test but never test anything thyself

II Thou shalt spend thy time in marketing forums and avoid real work as much as humanly possible

III Thou shalt mindlessly quote thy favorite goo-roo whenever thou art asked a question

IV Thou shalt shamelessly swipeth ALL thy ad copy

V Thou shalt never run an ad selling a money-making product without at least one phony photoshopped bank statement as “proof”

VI Thou shalt NOT blaspheme goo-roos by refusing to participate in their every product launch

VII Thou shalt only join lists that give away free info and rebuke all those who dare sell thee anything (unless ’tis a goo-roo list, of course)

VIII Thou shalt inflate and exaggerate ALL claims

IX Thou shalt use the same form email all thy competition uses when promoting products to thy list

X Thou shalt honor the 50+ word headline and keep it holy

Hey, don’t scoff.

If you’ve met a goo-roo fanboy you KNOW I speakth the truth here.

Again, I’m not saying goo-roo fanboys are evil.

Amusing?

Yep!

Bad people?

Not usually.

(Just misguided.)

But I sure wouldn’t recommend listening to them.

Ben Settle

P.S. The next “Email Players” issue contains possibly the most valuable email tip I can impart on you. Something that makes writing emails 10x’s faster. Practically guarantees your subject lines nail it. And, virtually eliminates second-guessing if your email will be eagerly read by your market.

Oh, and it won’t exactly hurt your sales either.

This bad-boy goes to the printer soon.

Get your email lovin’ while its hot:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Check out this question:

“Instead of buying your products, my guess is you apply your same products to your own daily emails. This is why i reverse engineer your daily emails and extract the good stuff out from them. My question is why should I buy your products if they are already applied to your daily emails (if they arn’t – then wtf)?”

Your question amuses me.

For one, you can’t “reverse engineer” what I’m doing.

You can try to.

And, you may even think you are doing it.

But I can assure you, you’re not.

And any one of my long term “Email Players” subscribers will tell you the same thing. This is why swiping my emails will not do you any good long term — you don’t even know what you’re swiping.

Example:

Sometimes I do things WRONG on purpose.

Yes, sweetie, I do this to you.

And all the “reverse engineers” like you.

Why?

Because it amuses me.

And because I know that in the long run it doesn’t hurt my sales since I do things the right way enough times where it doesn’t matter. This is why all the idiots who ripped off my “Avengers” email last week (apparently the goo-roo fanboys were scrambling for an original thought that day) will never make the money they could be making — while completely demolishing their credibility with long term customers, even if they get a few short term buyers.

As for should you subscribe?

No!

You should continue to fool yourself into thinking I’m giving anything even CLOSE to my best, most profitable tips away in my free emails. You should also continue to “reverse engineer” my emails where I do things purposely wrong. And, you should continue to sign up for free lists thinking that’s all you need.

That’s the ticket.

The rest of us will have the best customers.

Make the most sales.

And, build the biggest businesses.

To take off the training wheels, go here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ta,

Ben Settle

Remember yesterday’s email?

About why you should not copy other emails and all the dangers of doing so? How it’ll ruin your credibility? Make you look like a wannabe? And, ultimately, destroy your sales?

Well, some got offended by that.

It was quite amusing.

After all…

Anyone offended by that email has just admitted they are swipe & steal drones and don’t like guys like me telling them not to do so (real work rarely agrees with goo-roo fanboys).

It’s a good thing I couldn’t care less they’re offended.

And, think it’s funny they are.

On the other hand…

A few swipe & stealers took it to heart.

Thanked me for the lesson.

And said they were going to change their wicked ways.

Good!

Just don’t waste any more time worring about it.

Don’t obsess over it.

And, don’t get wracked with guilt over it.

Everyone screws up.

Yes, even me.

(I once made a mistake back in 1996…)

Don’t sweat it.

To paraphrase Jesus Christ Himself:

Go thou and swipe no more!

And then get your newly righteous self on the “Email Players” newsletter, where I’ll show you exactly how to write emails in a way where you will never have to copy anyone (nor want to, assuming you have the ability to follow directions) or be looked at as a poser.

This stuff ain’t magic, sweetie.

It’s actually pretty simple.

And when you take my red pill, life gets WAY more interesting.

With more sales.

More success.

And, yes, more fun.

Here’s where to subscribe:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

They were a sort of pop & dance based group back in the late 1980′s/early 1990′s. They were pretty popular for a while (never did understand what the big deal was, but then again I’m a classic rock kinda guy) until one day they were caught… lip syncing on stage.

In other words…

They weren’t actually singing live.

They were just *pretending* to sing.

Ouch.

It pretty much done the band in.

This happens in BUSINESS, too.

And, it happens far more often than people realize.

Here’s a real life story:

Last Friday, I received a few forwards of someone else’s email (who SHALT remain nameless) that had my exact headline “We have a HULK” and even the exact body copy word-for-word.

Not good.

I mean, it doesn’t do me much harm.

But it DID hurt the guy who sent it.

You see, there were obviously people on his list that are on mine, and when they saw his email, they instantly lost respect for him. Any credibility that was built up was gone in an eye blink. And if they told others then, well…

Now, this guy apologized.

Said he felt humiliated and embarrassed.

And even said he was going to “come clean” to his list about it.

A VERY good idea IMH (but accurate) O.

Because like Ken McCarthy told me…

Credibility is like a light switch. It takes a while to turn the light on, but once it’s turned off, it’s virtually impossible to turn it back on again.

Anyway, no biggie.

After all…

Creative theft is the sincerest form of flattery, yeah?

It’s just not profitable in emails.

So if you want to learn my system (and not copy me or anyone else) then check out the “Email Players” newsletter.

It’s not cheap.

And it’s not for toe-dippers.

(Those who just want to test the waters.)

If you’re in, then commit to it.

Become GREAT at it.

And leave your competition in the dust:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle