After I read bedtime stories to Kaden last night, I spent some time talking with him about the meaning of Thanksgiving. First I asked him what he’s thankful for. He said Christmas. ha! Then I explained a little more about what sort of things we should be thankful for, such as warm beds, food in our bellies, family, etc. It’s tough trying to explain that to a 4 year old, but it’s also amazing how much they do understand.

Last month, we donated some of the kids’ baby items and toys to a family in need. At first, Kaden didn’t want us to give the toys away. But, we explained to him why it was good to do it. Last week, I overheard him tell Kyle we should give more toys away to other kids who don’t have any. Even if he doesn’t fully get it, he got something out of that conversation we had a month ago. That fills my heart.

I’m thankful for so many things. I say it every year and I may sound like a broken record, but this year I think I have some new additions.

1. Friendships. Just when I thought female friendships were hopeless, I connected with a few great ones this past year. And, even though I’m probably more of a guy’s girl, it feels good to have a circle of women I can laugh and drink with and share conversation about children, life goals, good books and careers. I also totally love those few friends I’ve had forever and that I know I can count on, always.

2. Physical strength and health. I did something this year I never would have even dared to try in my past. I completed a 40 mile bike ride. I didn’t think I could do it. I even stalled registering for the ride because I doubted myself. But, I got over it and did it. And, now I want more. I may not be as skinny as I would love to be, but I am the healthiest I’ve been in years, and I feel so good.

3. Kyle. He totally grounds me. I know that every woman out there thinks they have the best husband in the world. Their husbands are also the best fathers to their children. I am one of those women. I really do believe Kyle is my soul mate. I didn’t even know that when we got married. But, with each day, week and year that passes, I grow to love and appreciate him even more. There is nothing better in life than to have someone you can sit on the couch with at the end of a tough day and talk to, laugh with and truly enjoy being in each other’s company. He’s a true partner in every sense of the word.

4. Contentment without being too comfortable. It’s true that you become wiser with age. I am more comfortable in my skin at 36 than I was at 26. I have balance in my life, and that is why I am content. But, I’m not so comfortable with it that I have no aspirations to be more or do less. I am thankful to have the energy to keep going every day. Never settle and never substitute happiness with comfort.

5. Kaden. This boy teaches me life lessons every single day. It’s exhausting. But, for every challenge, there is a moment of zen. And, he certainly has opened my eyes enough to look within myself. Other than looking like Kyle’s mini me, he is a near replica of me. And, we butt heads. Through it all though, he amazes me and I admire him. I think it’s good he has a little fire in his personality. I like that he knows what he wants and vocalizes it. I was, and still am sometimes, a spitfire and I never took crap from anybody. I want that for him too, because that means he’ll stand up for what he believes in.

6. Colton. He can put a smile on my face no matter what I’m going through at any given moment. I melt like butter when I look at his sweet face. He’s got a little fire in him too, but he exudes happiness, and it’s infectious. He’s smart and wants to learn. He wants to repeat words, sing songs and read books. Colton completed our family.

7. Family. I love my family. They know that. They are so supportive and always so helpful, especially with the kids. My sister will babysit on a whim. My parents will take the boys overnight. My mother-in-law will scoop them up and take them out for treats. My father-in-law helps to pick up Kaden from school and took him to swim lessons every week for several months. We are so lucky to have family around who not only help us, but actually like spending time with our kids. Even other family members are helping us, and that makes me utterly grateful. My aunt and uncle who just moved here from Missouri are now helping to watch Colton during the week. And, Kyle’s cousin Emily is always excited to spend time with Kaden and Colton. I feel comforted that the boys are in good hands with family.

That’s all I got for now. But, to me, this comes full circle and fills my life. I’m just honestly in love with life. It keeps getting better and better, and I’m full of gratitude.

May your blessings be as rich. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

You know it’s bad when you’ve started blog posts five different times, never finished and now the point of each topic is moot. They’re all sitting as drafts in my inbox.

And, we’re entering holiday season. Need I say more?

So, what brings me here today is a book I just finished. It’s called Lean In, by Sheryl Sandberg. If you haven’t heard of her, or her book, read it now. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or woman, it’s a good read with a profound message. At least I think so.

Lean In looks at why women continue to lag in the workplace. Backed by research, studies and just plain hard data from the women around us, Sandberg says women are giving up and choosing to “drop out.” We are our own worst enemies. We’re holding ourselves back. Why? Because women are involved in a constant tug of war between career and home-life. We either put off having a family to start our careers or we feel guilty for having both. When we feel like we can’t balance both, we throw in the towel. And, the reality is women, not men, leave their jobs to stay at home and take care of their families. This is why we aren’t climbing the corporate ladder. We aren’t even in the competition.

And, that takes me to where I am at this very moment. I am a full-time working mom and wife. I work long days. I see very little of my kids Monday through Thursday. The weekends are a constant wheel in motion. Between Target runs, grocery shopping, birthday parties, volunteering, meetings, house cleaning, laundry, feeding and bathing the kids, there is little time to enjoy much else. There are days I don’t stop from 6:30 am until 9:00 at night. A couple weeks ago, I enjoyed 5 blissful hours at the spa, because I have a wonderful husband who doesn’t mind if I disappear for a day while he tends to the boys. But, the minute I walked in the door, I washed the dishes. Then I did laundry. Then I gave the kids a bath. And, then I cooked. And, then I made the bed with the sheets I just washed, and I went through the bills and I folded all the laundry… and I didn’t sit down until it was nearly bedtime. My morning at the spa was a distant memory by the time I hit the pillow.

I’m not complaining. I’m not writing this as if I am the only woman experiencing this on a day-to-day basis. I’m just wondering why we do this to ourselves. Lean In has me thinking about a lot of things. For example, I’m learning it’s good that I still work. And though I admit I’m not trying to climb the corporate ladder, it’s good I’m still in the rat race. Besides, I’m not about to walk away from my career. I love what I do and I earn a good living. There’s nothing like using your college degree!

But, what I’m curious about is what stay at home moms think of the book. What do single or married women with no children think about this division of women and our performance in the workplace? I used to envy stay at home moms after I had each baby and went back to work. But, after a few weeks I always felt it was better for me to go to work. I don’t think I could handle being home all day, and I commend the women who do it!  I know every woman is different. Some prefer to stay at home because they can. Some choose to give up work because they feel their kids need them most. Some women do it because it will save money on childcare. There are personal reasons behind every woman’s decision to stay at home or go to work. For me, personally, I belong at work and that’s why I think this book resonates so much with me. Now I’m wondering how I can apply it when I walk into the office.

All of this also has me wondering how I can do it all without stretching myself thin or feeling like I have to keep up with everyone else. The answer is, I don’t. I don’t need to go to every party I or my children are invited to. I don’t need to make gluten-free, organic cupcakes for the classroom party by tomorrow. I don’t need to care so much about things that don’t even affect me. I just need to focus on my family and myself. Life is not a competition, my friends. Except maybe in the workplace. What do you think?

My father’s death was not in vain. It impacted me in ways I can never explain in written words. It made me detest cigarettes and question why anybody on Earth would play russian roulette with their lives. Tobacco use is the number one cause of lung cancer. Yes, you can get lung cancer if you don’t smoke. But, you increase your risk of developing cancer if you smoke, and you are basically telling your body you don’t care what happens to it.

I had been foolish in how I’d hoped sharing a little about my father’s excruciating last weeks alive might change at least one person’s view. I secretly prayed that one person (especially family) would be so moved by what that experience was like, that they would say, “I’ll never touch tobacco again.” And yet, no one was touched enough to stop poisoning themselves. I’ve had to remind myself that it’s human nature to be unaffected until you are affected. People who continue to smoke go about their day, one pack of cigarettes after another, oblivious to what they’re doing to their bodies. People just don’t care, until it happens to them.

Lung cancer is disgusting, like the bubonic plague. It rots the body. My father grew softball-sized tumors all over his body, to a point he couldn’t even sit on his butt because one planted itself on his right cheek. They burst through the skin; they bleed and scab. They protrude from a weakened, sick body as weight drops and skin sags. My dad’s feet flattened. It was laborious for him to walk. He was tired. Drugs made him even more sick. All he could do was get radiation treatments, which was pointless by the time the doctors gave him 6 months to live. He didn’t even have that. He was alive less than 4 months from the day he was diagnosed, on his birthday. The doctor told him he had stage 4 cancer and recommended against chemotherapy when he read him his death sentence, on my 28th birthday. He was gone in 2 months.

Watching my father suffer and die will always be the darkest day of my life. It’s not supposed to be that way. Parents protect their children from the day they are conceived. Mothers carry and nourish us in the womb. Moms and dads spend the rest of their lives making sure we feel safe and loved. And, I was totally robbed of that. Cigarettes and lung cancer stole the grandfather of my two boys, who resemble my dad in so many ways that sometimes I swear I’m looking into his puppy dog eyes when I look at them. I had a shaky relationship with my dad in my adult life, but I loved him nonetheless. Our roles reversed at the end, and my sister and I cared for him. He lived with me the last 5 days of his life, and he went from bad to worse in the blink of an eye. Maybe he was comforted when he came home, I don’t know. It was pure torture for me, and yet I rested easier knowing he was with me.

If you smoke tobacco, you are not only gambling with your life, you are setting yourself up to hurt your family. You will make them suffer because they will be the ones who care for you when you are told you have days to live. It is cruel and selfish. When someone says, “it’s my body and I can do what I want with it,” they are absolutely right. They can. But, it’s not fair that they will make their family suffer right along with them. Children don’t have a choice in the matter. Life throws so many unexpected curves our way as it is, why risk it?

Death is life. We have to deal with it. No one is immune to it, and it comes knocking on our door when it chooses. I just feel sick to my stomach when I know people have choices, and they continue to make bad ones. I can’t even begin to tell you how much my life has shifted since having children of my own. My purpose is to stay alive for my boys. I know I could die at any moment in a car accident or some God awful act of crime, or even by cancer, but I refuse to let myself stare down the barrel of a gun knowing I have the power to do otherwise. It’s only fair to my babies that I am there for them as long as I possibly can be. I will never let my father be forgotten.

Every drag you take of that cigarette is welcoming death to your doorstep.

By the way, I smoked. I did so casually in social settings–not every day, not even every week or month. But, I did. My last cigarette was the day after my dad died. I owed that much to him. It can be done.

For my dad, Richard Allan Zobrist, April 14, 1951 – August 8, 2005. 

I had my first one, and it wasn’t bad. At all.

When I arrived to the radiology office, I was asked to put on a gown. I was a little nervous because I really didn’t know what to expect. You could tell the woman who was about to perform my tests had done it thousands of times. It wasn’t awkward for her and she almost expected the same from me. I timidly asked if it was going to hurt. And, that opened up a great conservation, to the point it felt like I was in and out of there in a matter of minutes.

She told me it would be a little uncomfortable, but it shouldn’t hurt. “Oh,” I said. “I’ve always heard it hurts.” The x-ray tech then told me that she thinks that myth started way back when…

She believes that when older women came in for their exams, they were painfully shy about someone else seeing them naked and handling their breasts. This older generation of women rarely showed themselves to even their husbands, and so standing totally exposed before a complete stranger was a horrific experience. It made sense to me.

But, other than just standing there in an awkward position and feeling pressure on my breasts, the whole experience was not any more painful than getting a teeth cleaning. And it dawned on me that women should talk more about it and encourage our friends to get mammograms. Moreover, we should dispel the myth that they hurt.

It’s recommended that women over 40 get a mammogram annually. Unfortunately, if you’re under 40, insurance doesn’t cover the cost of the exam. That is nuts to me. Women of any age can get breast cancer. Why wouldn’t we want more women (and men) to be pro-active and increase their chances of catching any sign of cancer early?

According to Susan G. Komen for the Cure, breast cancer is the most frequently diagnosed cancer and is the leading cause of cancer death among women worldwide. The older you are, the more likely you are to develop breast cancer. It is not preventable, but it is survivable.

With that said,  if you’re over 40 and you haven’t had a mammogram, GET ONE! If you’re under 40 and want to be pro-active, talk to your doctor. The woman who performed my x-ray told me the reason it’s not recommended women under 35 get a mammogram is because breasts are still so dense at that age. But, if you have a history of breast cancer in your family or you detect any lumps, you should definitely inquire about getting a mammogram. It could be life-saving.

First, I attended Junior League’s May Luncheon, which is always a fun and great way to end the league year. The same day was my special little guy’s first birthday party.

Instead of a big party, we opted for a small family get together with one of my closest friends and her baby girl… and had a “little man mustache” theme. I found everything I needed on Etsy, including biodegradable utensils, mustache stickers, a props party pack, t-shirts for the boys, plates and napkins, and adorable mustache straws. Keeping with tradition, Colton got a bundt cake. They really are the best cakes in town and so easy for a baby to dig into and get crazy. Nothing Bundt Cake is my go-to when I need a wonderful treat.

Following Colton’s big day was my big day – Mother’s Day! My boys spoiled me with some gifts and then we spent the day at my sister’s pool with our moms. It was a great, relaxing day, which is just what I needed.

Next, we were off to Utah for our nephews’ Confirmation. Both Kyle and I were their sponsors, which meant a lot to us. It mostly rained while we were there, but Saturday turned out to be a perfect day for a BBQ. Then we made the long haul home. We are so lucky Kaden and Colton are such great travelers. They kept themselves entertained in the backseat.

We had the best 4-day weekend for the Memorial Day holiday. For once, we had no commitments. We spent time relaxing at home as a family, but since we got antsy after the first day, we took walks to the park, hiked at Mt. Charleston, camped in the backyard and swam at the pool. Even though it’s sometimes exhausting, we like to stay busy. It’s just no fun to be cooped up in the house.

Oh, and after a 3 week detour, we got back on the Paleo diet. I have a love-hate relationship with it. I like it because it makes me feel so good. I eat better, and I am more conscious of what goes into my body. But, I get bored with it. I need variety and I love changing up the menu. There’s not a ton I can do with Paleo. And, it’s so expensive. Our grocery bills nearly double eating this way because we need a lot more produce and meat and fish. I easily spend a couple hundred on just fish and meat at Whole Foods.Then we spend another hundred on produce only. And, have I mentioned that Colton eats like a beast? I am certain that by the time he is 3 we will be making twice-weekly grocery runs. He seriously eats more than Kaden and he likes everything. I mean, everything!

Anyway, that’s May in a nutshell. Boring to you. Life for us.

And, now it’s June. First up… my birthday! Never usually a big deal, but I feel like celebrating this year, and why not?

I looked up the definition of Gemini today, and this is what I found. Anybody disagree?

Gemini is the third sign of the zodiac, and those born under this sign will be quick to tell you all about it. That’s because they love to talk! It’s not just idle chatter with these folks, either. The driving force behind a Gemini’s conversation is their mind. The Gemini-born are intellectually inclined, forever probing people and places in search of information. The more information a Gemini collects, the better. Sharing that information later on with those they love is also a lot of fun, for Geminis are supremely interested in developing their relationships. Dalliances with these folks are always enjoyable, since Geminis are bright, quick-witted and the proverbial life of the party. Even though their intellectual minds can rationalize forever and a day, Geminis also have a surplus of imagination waiting to be tapped. Can a Gemini be boring? Never! 

Since Geminis are a mix of the yin and the yang, they are represented perfectly by the Twins. The Gemini-born can easily see both sides of an issue, a wonderfully practical quality. Less practical is the fact that you’re not sure which Twin will show up half the time. Geminis may not know who’s showing up either, which can prompt others to consider them fickle and restless. 

They can be wishy-washy, too, changing their mood on a simple whim. It’s this characteristic which readily suggests the Mutable Quality assigned to this sign. Mutable folks are flexible and go with the flow. Further, the Twins are adaptable and dexterous and can tackle many things at once. It’s a good thing, too, when you consider their myriad interests. The downside of such a curious mind, however, can be a lack of follow-through. How much can any one person do, anyway? 

If you’re not familiar with the Paleo diet, it’s a pretty basic concept. You eat meat, fish, fruits, vegetables and nuts, just like cavemen ate in the Paleolithic era. It’s not really a new diet since this is the way our ancestors ate long before we started packaging and processing foods. I’m reluctant to even call it a diet, because it’s not meant to be a quick-fix to weight loss, though you can lose weight in the process. It’s eating the way we were meant to eat. Paleo is credited with boosting energy, increasing weight loss and improving overall health.

Luckily for Kyle and me, we didn’t have to make a huge adjustment to our existing diet, because we already ate a lot of protein, fresh vegetables and fruits, as well as eggs and nuts. However, we have had to eliminate some key foods we do eat regularly. There is a gray area and some different theories on what should be restricted from the menu, but in general, Paleo does not consist of pasteurized dairy, legumes and grains, as well as vegetable oils and artificial sweeteners. For us, that means giving up milk, quinoa, oatmeal, beans and bread. We also have had to add foods to our diet that we don’t regularly eat, like red meat.

It’s been almost a week since we switched to Paleo and this is where we are.

I’ve substituted my normal coffee creamer with almond milk. Not as bad as I thought, but definitely not as tasty. The kicker is, I’m finishing our vanilla flavored almond milk so it isn’t wasted and I just know my coffee will be bland when I switch to unsweetened almond milk. Maybe the slow transition will allow me to drink my coffee black without cringing. By the way, coffee is allowed in moderation. I don’t know why or how, because I’m pretty sure cavemen didn’t sit around drinking a cup of joe at the top of the morning.

It’s only been 5 days and I’m starting to feel concerned about some of the diet’s allowances. We’ve had more red meat and eggs than I prefer. Paleo has been compared to the Atkins diet, and I find that diet completely unhealthy. Both diets allow no limits on the consumption of red meat, even the fatty kind. When Kyle told me he wanted to reduce our red meat intake a couple years ago, I didn’t think I could live without a steak at least once a week. But, it was easy and I only craved it once in awhile. I’m so used to not eating red meat that now I’m alarmingly aware of how much I’ve consumed in the past week. And, really, it’s only been a steak, some prosciutto on asparagus and with my eggs and ground beef stuffed in peppers. But, normally, I might have that much red meat in a month. Suddenly, I’m concerned with the high level of fat and cholesterol that comes with consuming meat.

I’m also wondering how many eggs I can stand to eat before I get sick of them. Most breakfast recipes I’ve found include eggs. There isn’t much else you can have for breakfast on this diet. You can cook an egg a thousand ways and add all kinds of fun vegetables, but an egg is still an egg, and I wonder if consuming too much is bad for me.

In reading about the pros and cons of the diet, I’ve come to my own conclusion. I’m going to modify it to fit our family’s preferred lifestyle. I’m going to limit our red meat intake to once a week. We’ll continue to eat salmon and halibut, as well as chicken, most days. We will not eat bacon, but turkey bacon is fine in moderation. I am going to balance my egg intake by having egg whites some days, eggs with yolk on others. We will continue to eat fresh vegetables and fruits and keep packaged/processed foods off our plates. Pasta may make an appearance on a very limited basis, as well as quinoa and oatmeal.

While I think that Paleo has more positive benefits than negative, I don’t want to get so locked into it that we digest some foods that really should be consumed in moderation.

The plusses: Kyle and I have both felt really good this week. I was hungry a little more than normal in between meals the first couple of days, but I’ve since figured out what snacks to have and when to have them to stop the hunger pangs before they start. I have lost 2.5 pounds, and Kyle has lost more.

The drawbacks: We spent a crap load on groceries and my planning kicked into ridiculous overdrive to ensure we stayed on course during the work week. I’ve been serious about being successful and learning how to eat even cleaner. I write down every planned meal so I know what to pack for lunch and prepare for breakfast and dinner. And, then I log it into a food diary. This sound ridiculous, I know. But, I’m not doing this for nothing.

My 2 cents: The bottom line is, it costs a lot to eat healthy. Buying grass-fed beef and a cart full of fish and produce is not cheap. We spent $200 alone on meat, fish and chicken and another $150 on produce. We normally spend $85-100 a week on groceries. I did buy fish in bulk (to freeze) so that we won’t have to buy it for at least another week. That will save on groceries this weekend with only having to purchase produce. But, eating any other way is just as costly. Buying fast food once or twice a week and eating out at a restaurant, in addition to buying groceries for regular meals at home adds up. I’d rather spend money on good food that I know is healthy because I am the one who prepared it. Not to mention, regularly eating foods high in fat, calories and sugar will catch up with you and cost you physically and eventually financially when you have to see a doctor. Also, might I add, it’s a plus for our kids.

I plan to stick with Paleo as much as possible, and see how I feel in a month from now. I’m not going to fret if I stray from time to time. I can guarantee you I will mess it up this weekend with friends in town. There will be drinking :). I’ll let you know how it’s going as we progress!

On the heels of Easter weekend with family in town and an outing with friends (the Adam Carolla show was hysterical), April is shaping up to be an exciting month. For one, our dear friends and favorite couple in the world will be coming to visit, followed by more family in town and a planned afternoon escape to a beer festival at Sunset Park. High five to that!

I’ve been totally absorbed in the book Life of Pi and trying to motivate myself to work out. Exercise is not my strong suit, but I need to do it. I’m slightly irritated at people who have the time to exercise tell me, “make time for yourself.” They don’t quite understand how hard it is to work the hours I do with babies at home. My time is limited. I know time, or lack thereof, is everyone’s excuse, but it’s true. I don’t even watch TV. I get one hour to myself at the end of the day, and by that time my brain is mush and I’m physically exhausted. I relax on the couch and do mindless iPhone surfing, like check Facebook, browse Pinterest, play Words with Friends and check out my friends’ wonderful pictures on Instagram. I refuse to work out at 9:00 at night, which leaves me one option: get up at 4:30 am and work out. Yuck, yuck and yuck.

So, there’s that.

Also this month, I’m planning Colton’s first birthday party. Despite the fact I am totally hurt he has decided to grow up without asking me how I feel about it, I am going to plan a much smaller celebration than I’m used to doing. Honestly, I’m just in no mood to plan something extravagant. Not to mention, his birthday falls on a difficult weekend. I have an event I don’t want to miss on the Saturday we’ll have his party and Mother’s Day is on Sunday. I’ll still shower my sweet boy with a party every one-year-old should have as a rite of passage, but it will be on a much smaller scale.

Hopefully this weekend or next I’ll buy a new road bike. I sold my mountain bike and we just haven’t had the chance to look at new ones, so I am without wheels for now. Kyle bought a bike trainer so maybe that will be my chance to get some exercise. Of course, he’s already been on it several times. I have to keep up with him. I can’t let him look better than me ;).

Oh yes! Almost forgot. The Paint the Town Red Gala last month was a success. Our committee worked really hard and well together, and 450 people attended the event. As wonderful as it was to be a part of it, I am happy it’s over to take a break from meetings and phone calls.

And, Kyle and I finally got to celebrate our anniversary with dinner. We chose Honey Salt, which replaced Nora’s, an Italian restaurant we used to enjoy. Honey Salt offers a relatively new and unique concept in Las Vegas with a farm to table dining experience. The food is exceptionally fresh and organic. It’s the kind of food we love. Try the tuna tartare for an appetizer and roasted cauliflower for an accompaniment. I also recommend the New York strip, which is grass-fed. Kyle had the chicken curry. We’ll definitely go back again.

April is a pretty month in the desert. Flowers are blooming and the weather is just right. After hanging with our besties and indulging at the beer fest, we’re going to need a juice detox!

Update: I began writing this blog last week and have since woken up early twice this week to work out. An old high school friend who has completely transformed her body after having 3 kids, told me to give myself 20 minutes in the morning using BodyRock.TV. I found a workout video that seemed suitable for a beginner like me, and it has kicked my butt! It’s seriously a 3 minute workout. That’s it. I do it three times with a minute break in between, so it takes me all of 11 minutes to complete my exercise. I stretch before and after too. I’ve set out my gear, yoga mat and iPad the night before so that it literally takes me 3 minutes to pop in my contacts, get dressed and get started. Twenty minutes indeed! Waking up at 4:45 sucks, yes, but it’s worth it. Let’s hope I keep it up.

Enjoy this past month in pictures:

But, it was the men behind the network news desk who really convinced me I wanted to be in broadcast news. The Walter Cronkites of the media world. The Peter Jennings and the Tom Brokaws of my time. They just had this air about them when they delivered the nightly news. I wanted to be them. I wanted to work for them. I dreamt of working aside them. I wanted to dig and investigate and write my own content. I wanted to be in front of the camera.

My first attempt at having any journalistic skill began with Yearbook in high school. I loved it! I am someone who gets excited about the minute details, so in those days, when we actually drew our layouts on grid paper and used pencil to measure picas (a measuring unit), well, this was right up my alley. By the time I was a junior in high school we advanced to computers and used software to design our page layouts. That wasn’t as much fun, but it still was exciting and new and much, much easier. At this point, I thought I might go into print journalism. But, TV had me and by the time I went to college orientation, I knew I wanted to be in broadcasting.

I had great mentors and professors. We listened to radio recordings of Edward R. Murrow reporting from the front lines of World War II, we watched the movies Broadcast News and All The President’s Men and learned the ins and outs of the industry. Our first amendment rights, media ethics and technology were all part of the curriculum. I never wavered. This is what I wanted to do.

In college, I routinely watched Dateline, 20/20, the Evening News with Dan Rather and local news. I inspired to be all these journalists who made it to primetime. But, I learned something else about myself. I no longer wanted to be in front of the camera, I wanted to control it all from behind the scenes. The producer in me was born. I was, after all, a writer. I interned in Reno and then landed a producing career at the local CBS affiliate in Las Vegas. I was proud of myself. I was 22 and working in a bigger market. I was equally excited to work along side the very people I watched deliver the news when I was a child. They were still on the air and I was awe struck. One of the main news anchors became my mentor and friend. He always worked with me, taught me, talked a story over with me and showed me a better way to tell a story. Not all news anchors take the time to teach young journalists, but he did and I value his mentorship today.

News really isn’t as glamorous as it appears to be, but nevertheless, I loved what I did. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. It was thrilling and adrenaline pumping when breaking news happened and I pulled it off. It was also heartbreaking to cover so many horrific stories that were related to abuse and death, especially when they involved children. And sometimes, it was draining.

After six exhilarating and often frustrating years, something else heartbreaking happened. My spark fizzled. My drive was going south. I was bitter, and I didn’t love news anymore. It was a changing industry, and I didn’t like it. The lines between entertainment and real news were being blurred, technology was forcing wrong information to be reported, all for the sake of stations being the first to report it. People were in it for the wrong reasons. And, I began to wonder what happened to the Cronkites and the Murrows who delivered the news to you straight, the news men who read from a piece of paper without saying, “We’re first at the scene,” the true journalists who spent hours researching, investigating, digging and interviewing to tell one single but worthwhile story that meant something to somebody. My heroes were fading, and as all these aging broadcasters retired or died, I mourned the passing of real journalism.

Some of my closest friends still work in news, and one of them, whom I have the utmost respect for, is so good at what she does she produces for CNN. She inspires me because she’s in it for the right reasons. She busts her butt to be honest and true. My husband is a multiple award-winning photojournalist, and I’m so ridiculously proud of his work. I still respect the news media and its intentions, despite its bumpy decline. I believe in it enough to still read the news every single morning. I just wonder who out there now has the journalistic integrity, know-how and guts to influence a young teenage girl who dreams of being the next Walter Cronkite.

By the way, whenever I go back to my yearbooks and revisit the articles I wrote, I wince. I was a terrible writer.

“And that’s the way it is.” ~Walter Cronkite

When I got pregnant with Kaden, I was the heaviest I had ever been. Too heavy. By no means would I say I was fat, but I was definitely overweight. I’ll say I was curvaciously chunky. lol. I’ll admit, I love(d) food. And, I love(d) all of it. There aren’t too many things you’ll see me snub. And, my worst habit was to keep eating after I was full. This amounted to many nights feeling uncomfortable and then beating myself up for repeating a pattern I knew was bad for me.

Luckily for me, I didn’t gain a whole lot of weight with Kaden. I gained a healthy 23 pounds. I lost about 30 pounds rather quickly, but I attribute that to hormones, breastfeeding and less time to sit down and enjoy a meal. When it was time to start feeding Kaden solids, I decided to make his baby food and keep it organic as much as possible. I had never bought organic food before and I had no idea what to look for when I stepped into Whole Foods. It was overwhelming to say the least. But, when I want to do something, I learn everything I can about it. I become hungry (pun intended) for knowledge about this new world of food. I learned to read labels and question the difference between things like wild caught and farm raised fish. I learned that the numbers on the stickers of produce had different meanings. If it has a 4 digit code starting with a 3 or 4, it is conventionally grown, aka not organic. If your apple bears a 5 digit code starting with a 9, it is organic. I also learned that just because you are in a Whole Foods, not everything there is certified organic, and just because something is organic doesn’t mean it’s low fat or low calorie. This took some time to sort through, but nonetheless, I bought good foods for my baby and fed him real food that wasn’t processed and bottled in a jar.

As the months went by and the recipes became more elaborate, I began to question why on Earth I was feeding Kaden the best, but not doing it for myself. So, I started buying and preparing new foods Kyle and I hadn’t had before. Kyle was skeptical, I think, about paying higher prices for organic, but he got on board and from there we ran away with it.

Over the past 3 years, Kyle and I have greatly changed our diets. We did this in baby steps. We began by cutting out complex carbohydrates at dinner. I was convinced this would be the hardest of all. If you’re like me, and you’re from the midwest, you grew up on meat and potatoes and bread. My dad cooked a hearty meal every day, and we ate it. But, I gave this new dinner concept a try, and to my surprise I didn’t miss the carbs as much as I thought I would. I was satisfied with our choice of meat or fish and a vegetable, and I began feeling lighter because I wasn’t stuffing myself beyond my comfort zone.

Next, we changed our breakfast habits. We began eating oatmeal regularly. We mostly eat it during the work week and enjoy the fun stuff, like eggs or pancakes, on the weekend. I believe this is key. Don’t burn yourself out by eating the same thing every day and never allowing yourself to enjoy the foods you love. That is a set-up to failure.

After that, Kyle told me he wanted to eat less red meat. This was unconscionable! I love a good steak and I wasn’t about to give it up. But, I obliged and started buying more fish. We now regularly eat chicken, salmon, halibut and shrimp. Easy too cook, and Kaden likes it. All plusses. And, while every once in awhile I crave a juicy steak, I don’t miss it that badly. I do allow myself to eat it when I really want it.

While I put back on a few pounds after having Kaden, I managed to stay under my pre-pregnancy weight, but I still had work to do. Skipping ahead to my pregnancy with Colton, this time around I gained only 13 pounds so I didn’t have a whole lot to lose afterward. And, as much as I love a greasy cheeseburger with salty french fries, I never overindulged with either pregnancy. I had moments, but I didn’t let myself eat my way through the candy store.

After I had Colton, the weight fell off. Again, I won’t deny that there were other factors that came into play. I barely ate. I was so tired and so busy with a newborn and energetic toddler that there were days I literally just forgot to feed myself. The one thing I managed to do was get dinner on the table. And, because I starved all day I would eat a lot. Nonetheless, I managed to drop an additional 12 pounds. I now weigh 15 pounds less than I did before my first pregnancy.

Friends, family, co-workers, and even my husband noticed my weight loss and asked me how I did it. For awhile, I jokingly told everyone it was the baby diet. I didn’t have time to eat and keeping busy was probably chipping away at the fat. But, I’ve given it some thought and I know it’s more than that.

Colton is almost 10 months now, which means I’ve managed to keep the weight off and maintain. And, I’ve gotten even more strict with my diet, but not to a point where I feel cheated or that I’m missing something I love. If I want a bowl of pasta, I eat it. If I want chicken fingers and fries (easily one of my favorites), I get it. But, I don’t overeat and I have it rarely. I still have red meat from time to time, but my diet consists mostly of fish, whole grains and fresh vegetables. We juice a ton of fruits and veggies, and you know what, Kaden loves it too. He doesn’t even realize he regularly drinks kale, beets, carrots and apples blended with ginger root and lemon. He’s even hammered a fistful of sauteed spinach and he really likes salmon. I can only hope we are instilling healthy eating habits in both kids.

Here’s a sample of some of the meals we eat. Hover over photos for a description.

I’m telling you all about what I eat for one reason, to share how it’s possible to change your entire lifestyle by altering your diet and experimenting with new foods. For years I had a doctor who would pull out a diagram of the grocery store and use her pencil to draw over the “edges” of the store and mark a big “X” in the middle. She told me, “shop on the perimeter and avoid the center of the store.” Why? Because the outer area of the store is where you buy fresh produce, meats and fish. The inner aisles we all skim out of habit contain all the boxed, processed foods. Think about it. Where do you find potato chips and cookies? I never paid one iota of attention to what she said, until now. I only recently noticed that I now shop primarily on the outer edges of the store. Of course, we still buy some things packaged, and it’s not practical for us to buy all organic. Instead, I chose which organic foods are most worth eating and I shop accordingly. I’ve learned there are a million different ways to cook something and cooking something healthy tastes just as rich.

And, above all else, I partly credit Kyle. He keeps me in line but doesn’t make me feel bad when I do order chicken fingers. It’s much easier to make changes and stick with them when you have a good support/buddy system.

My advice is start small. Start simple. But understand there is work involved. I spend a lot of time planning our family meals, shopping, preparing and cooking. But, it’s sort of become a hobby now and I enjoy it. I love knowing my family is eating good food and they really like it. And besides, nothing tastes better than skinny feels. Just try it!