Mama-Mia - Proud Mommy to the Cub and Bub

Oh to be kind and generous in these times!

2016-11-14T23:13:00.000+05:30

What a year this has been and what a week that went by!

Both India and US made waves in the world - the long term impact of neither can be fathomed at this point of time. The reaction to both these events has been the same - disbelief for everyone concerned, nationalist pride for some and shame for some. A part that believes that this the change that they have been looking for and the other which is horrified that someone could believe that THIS was a good news.

To set the record straight, I am what is now a days fondly called a libtard, libbie and god knows what other names. I am the side that is in as much shock that Donald J Trump got elected as the President of the United States, just as I was deeply disappointed when Narendra Modi was people's will in India. I truly believe that both of these men are morally and culturally bankrupt, albeit in different ways.

Yet, that is not what makes me despondent and fearful. Their beliefs, apart, it is their ability to build up a frenzy around themselves is what worries me the most. They bring out the basest instinct in their voter base which then indulges in real and implied acts of violence, racism and hate without a thought or remorse of any sort. Be it shouting "Go Home!" to seemingly immigrant looking folks or killing someone because they believed they ate beef (and no it does not matter whether he actually had any or no!)

One would argue that these men cannot be held responsible for aam junta's (common people's) behaviour. That is much like saying Hitler was noy responsible for Nazi atrocities. I would even give these men a leeway if they actually condemned the actions of these people. In my book silence is a tacit consent and I am not sure you can look at it in any other way.

I look at my Facebook timeline, my WhatsApp groups and everywhere else, I see a disturbingly divided world. A world where you are either for these men or against. There is no room for discussion. If you say anything against these men, you are being unreasonable and dumb at the simplest and a desh drohi (traitor) worthy of being charged for sedition at worst. You could go to jail for a Facebook post or tweet bhai. A democracy survives on ability to question and get answers. Even the seemingly best decisions may have effects that not everyone is aware of.

So the questioning CANNOT be seen as anti national. In today's day and age of social media whipped madness, we all need to see how can we be fair? How can we listen to both sides of the story without name calling and just shouting each other down? How do we stop behaving that if we do not believe in the same things we cannot be friends and family any more?

More than the years gone by, today is when we need more kindness and generosity. We need to open our minds to what other's beliefs are. WE do not have to agree with them, but we have to learn co-exist. To be able to follow the simple mantra of live and let live. And when someone questions our value system, we do not point to something worse and ask "But why aren't you asking them these questions?" (If i bring up beef ban, someone will tell me to go to Saudi Arabia and eat pork! Why would be want India to become Saudi Arabia?)

We need to open our hearts of people of every kind irrespective of their race, religion and sexual preferences or life choices. Look at your friends list. Do you have people from different parts of the country, world on it? People who have different languages and lifestyles? If not, it maybe time to broaden our horizons and let more people in. To let go of judgement and bias. To embrace the world and not let politics define the kind of person you are. Time to not hate just because your party stands for it. To not be racist and xenophobic because you haven't even given what you fear a chance. To give everything another chance if it did not work out the first time around. To not to be so rigid in our thought process that there is no place for discussion. To open our eyes to the fact that we have but this one life and it is up to us what we want it to be like.

The other day, Cub was telling me "My life is so boring! I need more danger. I need pizzazz!" To this the Bub responded by hugging him tightly sand saying "No bhaiyya. All you need is Love!"

She might have been doing this only to annoy him (I am quite sure of that actually), but baat mein toh dum hai.

Let's try a little more love and little less hate. If love is too much, I would go with kindness. Let us be kind. To ourselves and to others around us.

And last but not the least, like John Oliver said so succinctly, Fuck You 2016.

I truly cannot wait for you to be over!

So why aren't you a feminist?

2016-08-31T21:19:00.000+05:30

“Feminism is the radical notion that women are human beings.”
― Cheris Kramarae

This has to be favourite quote about feminism. I am yet to see a word and movement more misunderstood. One could actually call this the dreaded 'F' word. But you know what? Eff that! ;)

So what does feminism mean to me?

“A feminist is anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of women and men.”
― Gloria Steinem

It means equality. For both genders. It gives men the chance to explore beyond their society defined role of hunter and provider and experience nurturing and freedom to be sentimental. A world where it is normal for people to shed a few tears when they are sad irrespective of their gender and to laugh out loud is not considered bad manners for one of the genders. A society where what we enjoy doing is NOT defined by our gender and what is expected of it by society at large.

Feminism to me is opening the all the doors available to men be open to women too. Be it education, professions, art, sports or just the simple ability to loiter at whatever time and place. It means that a place and action that is safe for men, be safe for women too.

Feminism is our right to our bodies. It is about having easy and affordable access to birth control. Of having a right to be pro-choice and to not be treated like criminal for making that decision. It is the ability to wear what we choose. Can you imagine this even being discussed as an issue for men where as world over policing women's bodies and choices is a national obsession. In a developed country like the US, states are still talking about making abortion illegal! I cannot being myself to imagine how is it anybody else's business in THIS day and age? It is easier to buy a gun and shoot people than get an abortion.

“There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."(Keynote speech at Celebrating Inspiration luncheon with the WNBA's All-Decade Team, 2006)”
― Madeleine K. Albright

Feminism is NOT man hating and I sometimes honestly want to shake people who keep spouting such nonsense just to put down the whole movement. Ever so often among those are women too and I want to bang my head against the wall and give up hope. How do these women who enjoy EVERY SINGLE benefit of the movement reject being identified by it?

Feminism is NOT indulging in victim blaming and shaming. It is about not attributing the rape to what the woman wore, where she was at what time and claiming 'she was asking for it.' That is of course if you choose to believe her in the first place. Most sexual harassment victims at workplaces don't speak up because THEIR OWN career suffers rather than their perpetrator's.

“What’s the worst possible thing you can call a woman? Don’t hold back, now.
You’re probably thinking of words like slut, whore, bitch, cunt (I told you not to hold back!), skank.
Okay, now, what are the worst things you can call a guy? Fag, girl, bitch, pussy. I’ve even heard the term “mangina.”
Notice anything? The worst thing you can call a girl is a girl. The worst thing you can call a guy is a girl. Being a woman is the ultimate insult. Now tell me that’s not royally fucked up.”
― Jessica Valenti, Full Frontal Feminism

Feminism is when 'like a girl' stops being an insult and 'my daughter, you know, is like a son to me' stops being a compliment. So, if you ever heard someone say "Don't cry like a girl!' and didn't get offended, you should. Stop putting us up on high moral grounds of being Goddesses and martyrs and then treat us like shit and not allow us our humanity.

“It's not my responsibility to be beautiful. I'm not alive for that purpose. My existence is not about how desirable you find me.” ― Warsan Shire

Feminism is fighting against the pink and blue division of children - where girls don't build things and drive fast cars and boys don't cook and take care of babies. It is about the constant messages that say girls should be pretty and calm and sweet and that boys will be boys. It is about having strong female role models and not princesses waiting to be rescued by their prince charming. It is about fighting the notion that a woman's worth is decided by how she looks and man's by how much he earns.

We are still fighting this battle on a daily basis - be it arming ourselves with umbrellas in crowded spaces to avoid being touched, have our bottoms pinched and breasts squeezed or trying to be heard in the boardroom that is usually majority men who love writing off our every success as being attributed to 'sleeping our way to do the top.' Writing off our opinions because we are too emotional is also a common tactic. We are fighting it when we cannot get education we want or when something as natural and common as menstruation is treated as dirty and used to keep us away from things using age old excuses of lack of hygiene and let's not forget the pseudo scientific reasons like we are stronger than God himself during 'those' days!

We are not fighting against men. WE are fighting against a system that allowed us to be treated as second class citizens. Feminism is a fight FOR men and women and men can be feminists too. We just need to catch them all young. To talk them about the history and what we hope for the future.

I don't think I can do justice to this topic in one blog post. Each of these points and many more have to be posts in themselves. But it is something very close to my heart and as I see my kids growing up in this world, still SO unfair, I cannot help but feel frustrated and wonder if things will change even in their lifetime. But one must continue the good fight, one small step at a time.

We need to understand ourselves and teach our kids, boy and girls, that gender is simply what is between their legs and not between their ears.

Getting my feet wet again. So to say.

2016-07-10T03:53:00.001+05:30

It has been a long long time I wrote something on this blog. Or anywhere else for that matter. Except for Facebook updates (yeah those still happen) and photos shared. There is instant gratification there. A strength in numbers even one might say. It is a world that makes you believe you have more friends than you can ever imagine. It is also a place where you find adult conversation missing in your life otherwise.

Yet, every time I read old posts on this blog, I always go, "Whoa! I had completely forgotten about this!" So, there is something to be said about putting our memories down on paper, so to say.

The big news is that we have moved countries! Yes, after a decade of fabulousness in Bangalore, we have moved to Florida in Amreeka (that is my love-hate name for the country also known as The United States of America. It has been a year and half now and it still feels like a big change.

The kids have settled in beautifully. They had their settling in pangs, of course, but they got over those pretty quickly. Children are indeed a lot more resilient than we can ever imagine. They also have an immense capacity to recalibrate their life to new situations. If you ask me, I am a little jealous of that simply because I have been having a much tougher time of letting go of my life back home.

Yes, the routine life is pretty much set. After six months of moving, I managed to get driving licence and we bought a second car. Driving in Amreeka is obviously fairly simple since most people follow rules and almost all cars are automatic. As a side note though I should tell you guys, Florida is closest to India in terms of lack of traffic discipline. Not as bad, but much worse than rest of the country.

The biggest challenge in driving here is getting used to the insane speeds. Imagine having to drive at close to 90kmph within the city. Oh I swerved like a winding road initially and it was scary, but eventually I got there and the freedom to be able to go from point A to point B without having to depend on anyone is worth getting over the fear. Next stop is freeway driving. I am yet to reach the 'Darr ke aage jeet hai" phase for that! :p

I think that should be enough for Day One of writing. Obviously I have a long way to go to the kind of writing that is of an acceptable level even for my blog! This one made me yawn by the time I finished writing it. Bah!

See you later, alligator! :))

day 8 - Letter 8 - favourite internet friend

2014-09-12T00:08:00.002+05:30

With the advent of social media, having internet friends is a norm rather than an exception! But, it would be impossible for me to pick one friend, so I am going to pick an old friend who has mostly been in touch in virtual world and actual handwritten letters every now and then. Now, these letters, I have been promising replies to which till date have been broken! :(

So, this letter goes out to that friend, who actually is technically the hujhband's dost, but then jyo uska woh mera hai is my funda! ;)

Dearest Usha,

You could easily have been the person getting my next letter as well - the person you want to meet! :) Yes, we have never met and yet it never feels like that. The credit for that goes all out to you. You accepted me as a part of your life by mere virtue of being your friend's wife and then made me feel loved and special. Simple things like addressing your letters to both of us always made me smile.

Have I told you how MUCH I LOVE your letters? They are so conversational giving us a glimpse into your life and thoughts. You have always come across as someone wonderfully warm and genuine - an uncommon quality in today's day and world.

To see you with your two daughters (the little bit we get to see through the pictures) is heartwarming and so obviously full of love! :) I am sure you have realised by now that this whole parenting gig is fun and pain in all the wrong places at the same time! Hope you are enjoying making memories and cherishing this time. Of course do not ever feel guilty about the moments when it all seems like an idiotic idea, if you ever have them! I know I do and I have learned to live with it.

Then again this letter wasn't meant to be an advice column! I just wanted to tell you that I am lucky to know you and I do hope we meet someday real soon! :) Also, this is not to make up for the handwritten letter. That, I promise will be much longer.

Just to let you know, like any other letter, we are all doing great here. M is super busy with work, the kids are having fun at school and I keep myself busy with doing nothing in particular! :) Among the latest news is that we got a new OTG! Us, who could barely cook and gave away our OTG, firmly believing we would never ever use it. All thanks to Cub and his love of baking. It has been fun experimenting and most of them till date have worked ok. Knock on wood! :p

Alvi is a regular monster of child running towards turning 4 so fast and breaking M's heart on the way. She is very chaalu and taking poora advantage of her current cuteness. Cub is still the accha baccha though we keep having our challenges with him every now and then.

That be the latest update from this part of the world!

Much love and many hugs!

Abha

Day 6 - Letter 6 - The Stranger

2014-09-08T23:13:00.001+05:30

Why the hell would I write a letter to a stranger would indeed be an apt question! But if the challenge demands it, you do it! :D

Dear Stranger,

I wonder who you are, the person I am writing letter to. How old are you? What do you do? Or do not do? Do you like reading? What kind of books? Or do you prefer movies? Nahi? Phir theatre and art? Are you an artist yourself? Do you paint? Do you write? Do you dance or sing or make your own music?

Are you happy? Do you dream? Do you believe in hope? And love? And all things beautiful? Do you crossover to the dark side every now and then? Do you finally then see the light at the end of the tunnel?

Have you had your first kiss? Do you love the wind in your hair? Do you laugh without reason or sometimes cry too because it feels right to? Do you love yourself? Do you love others? Do you crave perfection or know that there is perfection is every imperfection?

Do you believe in God? Are you religious? Are you ritualistic or just spiritual? Maybe you are an atheist?

Do you LOVE food? What kind? Do you like to experiment with your food? Will you travel miles just to taste good khaana?

Phew! That is a long list of questions for a stranger! I wonder why then we talk about boring things like work and weather? :)

Maybe when our paths cross stranger, we will have a real conversation.

Only thing is that then we won;t be strangers no more! :)

Cheers!

Abha

Day 5 - Letter 5 - Dreams

2014-09-07T23:29:00.002+05:30

This one should be short and sweet! :)

Dear Dreams,

I wish I could claim to know you. When I was young, I told my father I have a dreamless sleep. He made me wiser by telling me that everyone dreams, but not everyone remembers them.

That is our relationship today as well. There are rare exceptions of course.

Sometimes I wonder will it be good to know you little more? Cross paths with you more often? But then again, I think some things are better left as is!

Till then.

Yours curiously,

Abha

Day 4 - Letter 4 - The Sibling

2014-09-06T23:56:00.002+05:30

Dearest Brother,

You know my ahem! ode to you is already published in a book of all things! Yes! You can read it here if you wish!

You still are my ex-pain in all the wrong places and the joy and pride in my life! A self made guy, is there was ever one. You worked hard to get where you are today and I for one cannot be prouder!

Yes, you are a lazy ass as well, just like I am! Maybe, it just runs in our genes. When you cannot find anything else to blame, blame it on ze famille! ;)

You are a kind man and good soul. A nice person to be with and I hope you realize it soon. I LOVE seeing you with my kids and they absolutely ADORE you!

We so enjoyed our time spent with you at your home. You showed us a really good time and I must at some point, make time to thank you! ;) (I could do it right here, you say? Oh well!)

I, also so so enjoyed our quick trip to Vegas! Just two of us. Thoda dil to dil conversations, mostly masti and you pulled all stops! Fancy hotel, show with awesome seats and good khaana of course! ;)

This letter is all crazy disjointed! I just want to say I Love You and I will always have your back! That and you do deserve all the happiness in the world. Don't ever believe otherwise!

Much love

Abha

(since you refuse to call me Didi or even sister now!;)

Us being all growed up at Las Vegas! You never did buy me my first ciggie! :p

Didn't I say the kids ADORE him??!! :D

Day 3 - Letter 3 - The Parents

2014-09-04T23:05:00.001+05:30

Dearest Mom and Dad,

Funnily enough or actually not oddly enough, I have never had a reason to write a letter to you! I mean I did live with you guys for most part of life! :) The first time I left home was after I got married and one realizes the challenges your parents must have faced most often only when one has had their own kids!

Don't get me wrong! I have always respected you guys, but lets just say having my bacchas just took it to another level! :D

I can now very well imagine Mom's chagrin to see us not finish our dabbas that she had painstakingly prepared in the morning or Dad getting upset at our arguments! :p

I have so much to be thankful for having you guys as my parents that I don't know where to start! :)

Thank you for a good life. A happy childhood filled with good things - holidays, restaurants, books and most importantly your time!

Thank you for making me independent and confident by telling me often how good I was at things I was good at without harping on too much about stuff I wasn't very good at. Like academics!

Thank you for being warm people who loved having people over. For making 'No TV when guests are at home" rule which I still follow at my home as well!

Thank you for introducing small pleasures in little ways making those simple things special. Like getting chai only on Sunday mornings with dose of Rangoli! :) Cub gets his coffee on weekends now!

Thank you for letting us have access to chocolates - one piece a day - making sure we never really were desperate for any ever!

Thank you for almost never telling me what to wear or whom to make friends with. Despite living in a conservative society, you guys were incredibly open minded and I can never be more glad about it!

Thank you for the most amazing birthday parties! Amazing home cooked food when Rasna and cake were the norm at most birthdays!

Thank you for teaching us the importance of quality over quantity. We bought clothes thrice a year, but they were reallly good clothes! :)

Thank you for not trying too hard to convince me that it was OK to wear Abhyankar chappals with jeans! :p

Thank you for encouraging me to go for all my school picnics and later outings with friends! My friends always found you very cool! :)

Thank you for taking my shaadi decision much better than I would have expected you to! :) It must not have been easy, but you were extremely gentle and balanced throughout! Rest they say is history! :)

Thank you for a beautiful wedding!

Thank you for also showing me what a good marriage is. It helped. Immensely!

Thank you for showing me 'Family First!'

Thank you for being kind and generous people who believe in goodness of people.

Actually, just thank you for a fabulously normal, yet different enough life! :) I find happiness comes to me easily and a large part of it has to do with how you guys brought me up!

Thank you for the roots and the wings. And the unconditional love. And an unending supply of support and hope.

I love you!

Abha

Day 2 - Letter 2 - The Crush

2014-09-03T12:36:00.001+05:30

I haven’t had a real crush in a loooong time. Maybe a little lusting over Benedict Cumberbatch in recent past, but no one that made my heart skip a beat or made me go crazy!

So then, we must write the letter to our first and maybe only crush! :) You definitely KNOW who you are because I did tell you and we became real good friends after that and have been since.

Dear Crush,

The thing I fell for, when it came to you, was the eyes! The deep brown eyes so full of expressions of every sort. I think they still stay as amazing. Then there was your sense of humour and comic timing (now that I look back, I always had it for men who could make me laugh!) and the ease with which you made friends and made them feel special.

I was THE plain Jane amongst all the girls. I do not think you even noticed me to start with. I remember feeling that you were going to be the love of life. My one true desire that was going to be fulfilled. I also remember standing outside the neighbour’s house hoping to get a glimpse of you. Even if you did not see me, at least I got to saw you. Just walking past, going about your day.

I would sing ridiculous sappy love songs and sway to ‘Pehla Nasha’ actually dreaming of such moments. WE did become friends eventually, but I also saw that this would be a one way street! With all my romantic notions, I wasn’t ready for unrequited love. So one day, with much ‘emotional atyaachaar’ I told you that I really LOVED you and I also knew that there was no future in this pyaar. But I could not get past this feeling unless I told you about it! You were very sweet about it. I don’t remember what you said. Maybe nothing.

Surprisingly, I did get over you quick enough once I had told you. We also became good friends. You spoke to ME about your heartache one day. You have moved past your first love too as impossible as it seemed to you then. Life came to some sort of full circle then.

Today, we have been both blessed by excellent partners who love and cherish us.

I still think of you fondly, flirt with you when we meet and love embarrassing the hell out of you! You might be getting older, just the way I am too, but your eyes, my dear man, can still melt hearts and move mountains. Yes, they can!

Thank you for being sweet about a naïve teenage girl’s first crush. We almost never speak just like that, but I know the moment we meet, it will be like we have been talking forever.

Let’s just say I could not have asked for a nicer first crush! Stay blessed!

Love

Abha

Day 1 - Letter 1 - The Best Friend

2014-09-02T23:42:00.000+05:30

So apparently the only way this blog will see some kind of writing is if i pick up some random challenge and do least a part of it, if not all! Hmmmppffff!

So, The Marathon Bloggers are doing a 30 Day, 30 Letters Challenge, where we write letters everyday to a particular person according to the list. You can read more about it here!

Today's letter is to your best friend! :)

Dearest BFFs of my life, (I have a handful, yes!)

What do I say to you girls?

That just having you in my life makes it that much better?
That even meeting you everyday never makes it old or dull?
Neither does not seeing you for ages make me feel distant?
That I learn something from each one of you?
That I learnt to love myself by seeing myself through your eyes?
That I hope I returned that feeling to you as well?
That I love hanging out with you?
That I love to discover new things with you and revisit the old?
That you inspire me in so many different ways?
That I appreciate how much I can be myself with you?
The relief I feel knowing you WILL have my back?
That I can expect you to tell me the truth and yet be gentle about it?

All this is just to say I LOVE YOU and THANK YOU for BEING YOU! :)

The Drabble Week - 55ers and 100ers - day 2

2014-07-01T10:47:00.000+05:30

Today's prompts! :)

His last wish (55er)

The top of Eiffel Tower. Moonlit night at the Taj Mahal. Dancing under the stars. Scream his lungs out as he bungee jumped. Try caviar. Fall in love. Again. Saying it. Give. Receive. Share.

How was he to decide on his last wish? Ever?

They weren’t joking when they called it ‘Injurious to Health.’

The Pumpkin Exploded (100er)

Magic and Miracles! She always believed in those. Fairytales with sappy happily ever after endings too. She was not naïve or anything, but it was just one of those things!

She had her reasons for that too.

Believe it or not, she once even met her fairy godmother! Very Cinderella-esque. There was a talk of handsome prince as well. The tattered tee was turned into a stunning dress and the hawai chappal into lust worthy Louboutins !

She was all set to go when the magic went awry - while getting converted into a low slung BMW, the pumpkin exploded!

The Drabble Week - 55ers and 100ers - day 1

2014-06-30T23:18:00.002+05:30

What do I say?

The blog is dead! Long live the blog perhaps? But these challenges are a good kick on my not so petite rear-end to least do something to keep this brain-child of mine alive!

So, here I am with a week long challenge thrown by the Marathon Bloggers - a week of 55ers and 100ers with daily prompts.

Here are today's! :)

The Broken Promise (55er)

There she was, sulking and sad. Her tiny fists clenched tight and tears threatening to fall through her long eyelashes. She did have a penchant for drama – they called her their very own Drama Queen!

She was complaining about the broken promise – the after meal treat – that little piece of candy that was rightfully hers!

She fell flat on her rear (100er)

She finally found the perfect dress! More than that, she found the courage and confidence to wear it. After years of wondering how could she with her weight and that ungainly body of hers. It took a good thirty years for her to realize that this would be a regret too pathetic to have as she grew older. Imagine! Regret over a bloody dress!

So, there she was in her perfect dress. Feeling perfect. She planned to make quite an entrance. She entered the room and next thing she knew she fell flat on her rear!

Goddamn stilettos! Her Achilles heel!

a round up of a week of 55er! :)

2014-01-28T10:16:00.000+05:30

Like I said I want to keep this week of 55ers as one post, just like that. For those who are not familiar with what a 55er is, in a nutshell, it is a work of fiction done in no more or no less than 55 words. Fun! For the last week we used prompt words and wrote our pieces based on those.

If you want to know more, here's a link!

http://www.wikihow.com/Write-55-Fiction

Day 1 (Prompt – Love)

The day before their wedding, their eyes met as they sat amidst a room full of people.

She felt a shiver run down her spine.

She hoped it was love. She did.

And yet, what if…?

Almost ten years later, she can safely say her hopes never let her down.

Amen. Touchwood. Antijinx. Kala Teeka.

Day 2 (Prompt – Just as I was leaving)

There had been silence in the room since he had accused her of infidelity. Of cheating him and their love.

He had ranted, raved and pointed fingers while all she kept saying was ‘But I am telling you the truth, there IS no other man!’

Just as he was leaving she whispered, ‘It’s another woman.’

Day 3 (Prompt – Tender kiss)

They had been dating for a while but still hadn’t stolen their first kiss. She realized that if she waited for the shy guy, she may have to wait forever.

“Shall we kiss?” was her ultimate hormonal proposition. They did and it was all teeth and nose!

The tender kiss will have to wait. Sigh!

Day 4 (Prompt - Weighing Machine)

Shock and disbelief! Divorce papers? All of a sudden. Out of the blue as they say.

Mental trauma and anguish? Irreconcilable differences?

Why?

He believed that their first year of marriage could not have been better.

Just last week, for their first wedding anniversary, he even gifted her a top of the line weighing machine!

Day 5 (Prompt – Dreams)

I can make you mine

Taste your lips on wine

Anytime, night or day

Only trouble is

I am dreaming my life away...

She always imagined this song playing in the background when they talked about the next step and he said I love you, I do, but… Will her dream come true? Or not?

There was silence for a while. The other woman in the room did not know what to expect.

She had been seeing her regularly, visiting her actually.

Day 6 (Prompt - She looked deep into her eyes)

Today was the judgment day.

“So, Doctor?”

She could sense the doctor looking deep into her eyes as she said “I think we can get you sight back!”

Day 7 (Prompt - They said he died because they wouldn’t accept him.)

They wanted him to be just like them.

He tried. But it just wasn’t like him to indulge in these activities for the sake of ‘tradition’.

They said he died because they wouldn’t accept him.

Actually they told him that he was dead to them.

“Good riddance!” he said to himself with a scintillating smile.

55er or something like that - day 7

2014-01-26T22:53:00.000+05:30

They wanted him to be just like them.

He tried. But it just wasn't like him to indulge in these activities for the sake of ‘tradition’.

They said he died because they wouldn't accept him.

Actually they told him that he was dead to them.

“Good riddance!” he said to himself with a scintillating smile.

Today's prompt - They said he died because they wouldn't accept him.

And so 'A week of 55ers ends! Sob sniff! Much fun was had doing something I had never done and out of my comfort zone. I am thinking of collating all of them in one post! Just for fun and ease of reading! :)

55er or something like that - Day 6

2014-01-25T22:25:00.001+05:30

There was silence for a while. The other woman in the room did not know what to expect.

She had been seeing her regularly, visiting her actually.

Today was the judgment day.

“So, Doctor?”

She could sense the doctor looking deep into her eyes as she said “I think we can get your sight back!”

Today's prompt - She looked deep in to her eyes...

Ps: Just one more day to go! :D

55er or something like that - day 5

2014-01-24T23:16:00.000+05:30

I can make you mine

Taste your lips on wine

Anytime, night or day

Only trouble is

I am dreaming my life away...

She always imagined this song playing in the background when they talked about the next step and he said I love you, I do, but… Will her dream come true? Or not?

Today's prompt - Dreams

You can hear this gorgeous gorgeous song here, btw!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTYe9eDqxe8

55er or something like that - day 4

2014-01-23T09:43:00.000+05:30

Shock and disbelief! Divorce papers? All of a sudden. Out of the blue as they say.

Mental trauma and anguish? Irreconcilable differences?

Why?

He believed that their first year of marriage could not have been better.

Just last week, for their first wedding anniversary, he even gifted her a top of the line weighing machine!

Today's prompt: Weighing Machine

55-er or something like that - 3

2014-01-22T10:15:00.003+05:30

They had been dating for a while but still hadn't stolen their first kiss. She realized that if she waited for the shy guy, she may have to wait forever.

“Shall we kiss?” was her ultimate hormonal proposition. They did and it was all teeth and noses!

The tender kiss will have to wait. Sigh!

Ps: I never realized that there might be people out there who don't know what a 55er is! Yes, I can be thick like that. In a nutshell, it is a work of fiction done in no more or no less than 55 words. Fun! For this week we are using prompt words. The first one was love, the second just as I was leaving and today's is 'tender kiss.'

If you want to know more, here's a link!

http://www.wikihow.com/Write-55-Fiction

55-er or something like that - 2

2014-01-21T10:48:00.000+05:30

There had been silence in the room since he had accused her of infidelity. Of cheating him and their love.

He had ranted, raved and pointed fingers while all she kept saying was ‘But I am telling you the truth, there IS no other man!’

Just as he was leaving she whispered, ‘It’s another woman.’

The previous one is here!

55-er or some such attempt! :)

2014-01-20T23:22:00.000+05:30

The day before their wedding, their eyes met as they sat amidst a room full of people.

She felt a shiver run down her spine.

She hoped it was love. She did.

And yet, what if…?

Almost ten years later, she can safely say her hopes never let her down.

Amen. Touchwood. Antijinx. Kala Teeka.

two years plus one of joy

2013-11-12T00:59:00.003+05:30

Yes! The Bub turned TWO last month and it is time I did her birthday post, no?! (and what you read below has been in my drafts for a year! bwaaaaaahhh!)

Anyway, I realized I did not remember most of this stuff, so I must retain it and add some more here itself, lest the three year old post stays in drafts till she turns 4! You get the drift. don't you? Hence the title 2 + 1!

The Bub turned two between Diwali days and was surrounded by her grandparents and then some more grandparents. We will save the big birthday party with frills and themes for next year, but that does not mean the little party we had for her was any less. It was with people who love her the most and it was really big on blessings and fun! :)

So what is (was) The Bub upto these (those) days?! :)

Well if it is possible, she is even naughtier and cuter! Her million dollar smile is still as priceless - a paradox, yes! :) Her eyes shine and her body language is utterly adorable! Add to that a very sharp mind, you have a killer combination - really.

She is talking nineteen to a dozen - to put it mildly. There are sentences galore. All of them pretty clear. She is learning new words and ways of using them every single day. She repeats everything we say exactly the way we do and That is scary. It is hilarious to hear hear say "Kabbiiirr - aa jao. Mumma boola rahi!"

Oh yeah she has a Hyderabadi style of Hindi thanks to the Amma who takes care of her. So everything is "aa rahi - jaa rahi, isku, usku" and such. She has just learnt to say her name properly and even now when in rush calls her "Alla". So everthing used to be "Alla-ku de do / Alla-ku hai / Alla-ku chahiye!" Any time you asked her what her name is she would confidently say Alla! :D As of now she breaks her name into three syllables and enunciates each one saying Al- Vi - Rrraaaa!

She still loves her junk food and her morning starts with demands for chottets and biscuits. I have now consciously cut down on giving her that stuff even more. She does cry the house down, but she should get used to it soon enough! Thankfully both kids love fruits, so we try and move them in that direction whenever there are fruits in the ghar.

She now enjoys the little park in the colony even more. She likes the slide, see-saw and swing and spends least an hour down there pretty much everyday. She is still quite lazy and you will not see her run around a lot etc. She is super excited the moment she is ready and says happy bye to everyone available in the house at that moment! :D

She is now singing typical nursery rhymes in her own way - eating up half the words and yet so sweet that you cannot help but smile - every single time. She loves to sing Humpty Dumpty, Baa Baa Black Sheep, Five Little Fishes and Horsey Horsey dont you stop. I have been lazy and have barely read to her, so she does not really have any favourite books except a few board books that she loves looking at. I hope to make up for it soon enough! :)

And now for the past one year - The Bub turns 3 version! :D

What do I say about the Bub? You can call her the female version of l'il Krishna! That seems to be the only way I can describe the mix of cute, naughty, natkhat, adorable, chaalu and smart - all rolled into one! Like our BFF Meds says, she is 'chaalu maal!'

Just the other day she got chocolate at school. She got into car with M and he told her she could eat the chocolate only after she got home. When he turned to look at her a few mins later, she already had the goddamn thing in her mouth! Her response? "Papa, woh apne aap khul gaya tha issliye maine khaa liya!" Gah!!

The girl can seriously talk your head off! If you don't have time or inclination to listen to her, she will pretend talk on the phone! Not that she even needs a fake phone on her ears. She sings her rhymes gorgeously! MUCH MUCH fun to listen to. She has finally learned colours (we were seriously wondering if she is colour blind!:p) I know it's no biggie that a three year old knows her colours, but you have to know that we have taught her zilch at home! All the enthu teaching got done with Cub. Let's just say school ke paise vasool ho rahe hai! :p

She absolutely adores her school and according to her teacher tries to mother every child who might be even a month younger or a centimeter shorter! :) She looks forward to going there every morning and seems to be have a fabulous time. She gets sent to the naughty corner every now and then - a drastic change from Cub who is obedience personified - at least at school.

The girl has a TEMPER! Yes! That bad! Sigh! Every little thing can have her flying into a rage and try and throw half the house wherever she pleases. Am hoping it's a phase. She also refuses to talk, goes into a different room and lies down on the bed and all that jazz. Effectively, a complete Drama Queen if you have ever seen one!

She is extremely observant and at a stage where she wants to question everything. Mostly Kyon or Why? It can be extremely painful at times, I can assure you that.

The love affair with junk continues. Thankfully, rules are being followed better in general, so we have cut down on the amount of crap she would insist on eating. She also likes fruits - papaya, guava, chikkoo, banana etc are had regularly. When I remember to cut, there is cucumber and a bit of raw carrot as well as salad. So, we are getting there. She doesn't bother too much to eat except that she cannot sit in one place and eat.

The Bub and her friends recently performed a couple of action songs for the Ganapati celebrations in the colony. She kept whining that she won't dance on the stage. But when she did get on it, she was a complete diva. All of them were. At night M told her to perform again on the bed before they slept to which the brat replies, "Main sirf stage pe dance karta hoon!" Of course at Onam celebs, she started off well and then just clammed up and refused o move OR smile! Oh well! :)

She bullies Cub mercilessly and calls him Kabir, bhaiyya, Kabir bhaiyya or Kabbu! :p She also sings O! Kabira maan jaa to him and giggles getting the joke quite well. Yes, must say that the girl has a sense of humour and catches on pretty quickly making being with her a whole lot of fun and then some more. She knows when she is pushing the boundaries and tries to get away with as much as she can with her wicked smile and evil brain. M keep saying that every time she enters the room, the song 'naayak nahi khalnaayak hoon main!" should play in the background. But then M is prone to exaggerations. Or maybe not! :p

She is still my 'poochh' or tail as they call it in angrezi. She follows me around everywhere and every bathroom break of mine is closely monitored with questions about what I am doing and how long would I take. When sleepy or tired, she does not even recognize M, who keeps telling her that he has a birth certificate to prove that he is indeed her father and would like to comfort her! Hehe!

That said, she needs no one when around her BFF Pakhi and their friendship still goes strong! She also has a couple of homes more now where she is comfortable enough to go without me.

My mom calls her 'aanandaache zaad' which would loosely translate as 'fountain of happiness' and we would have to agree with her! :) And I think that should be the right thing to end the post with.

Happy Birthday darling Bub!

May the spring in your step stay forever, may your laughter stay as unbridled, may your smile light up your days and those of everyone around me, may you learn to let go of fears and to go beyond them, may your life be filled with friends and family and every joy possible! You have no idea how MUCH happiness and fun you have brought to our lives! Shine on, our love, brighter and forever!

Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! :)

The Cub turned 6 in The Space! :)

2013-10-24T00:10:00.000+05:30

The Cub turned six in July and had said he would like a Space Themed party this year. We are nothing but obliging (if only once a year) and we tried to do the best we could with everything we knew, google baba knew and was even remotely related to our skills! Or more like lack of them!

The beginnings of madness! Cartons, scales, scissors and patience! :)

One thing you guys should know is that I am the idea girl and M is the doer! So, if he is busy, I am nothing but a bunch of ideas, but no idea about how to bring them to fruition! :p I also get bored, if I don't have his company to do this kind of stuff. You know misery loves company and all that jazz? Just kidding! Well, almost.

The bare-bones structure is ready! :D

So, the ambitious plan this time was to make a rocket using them old packaging cartons lying around at home thanks to very many moves in very many years, some decoration in form of aliens, spaceships and the solar system, some food, some games and far too many kids!

The prettyfying process begins!

The father-son duo got around to making the rocket / space shuttle couple of weekends in advance and boy! that was some hard work. Lot of things seem simple on the internet, but not so easy when you get down to it. Still, the decision was made and we all plowed through to make it work.

The Final look. Cub posing with his jet-pack on! :)

The toughest part was getting the different parts to stay put! And then the well meaning help from the kids! :p Actually THAT was the toughest part. There were fights and screaming matches and tears at times, but mostly it was fun!

Flipkart packaging, some silver ribbon, two pet bottles with aluminium paints and some marble paper shredded to look like fire!

We used it the final rocket as a prop and got all kids to take their pic wearing it! We also found an easy idea to make a 'jet pack' with used 1litre soft drink bottles and some marble paper. It looked really cool and most kids loved it.

The name bunting and an alien!

M cut this out and Cub spray painted it with an old tooth brush!

Alien No.3 with very many eyes!

We made a bunting with Cub's name with moon and star shapes as decor and some verrry cool aliens made by M and Cub. There were also paper plate spaceships hung from fans and ceiling.

The paper plate and paper cup spaceship

By the time we were done with the theme based decor, we had to energy to get food that went with the space theme. I really wanted to make some green jelly, but somehow that never panned out. The easiest and only thing on our menu that had something to do with space was Chocos - Moons and Stars! :D

The return gift bags made with newspaper with a little paper on top saying 'Save Planet Earth! It's the only one with Chocolates! Stuck chocolates on them! :)

There were yet again lots of kids (this is the last year, I tell ya!) and the games we thought of, we could not really pull off as smoothly as we would have liked. Oh well! One lives and learns! :)

Return gifts as much as I hate them, were the glow in dark space stickers that one can stick on the ceiling. Cub has them in his room and we all love them. So, it seemed to make sense.

The siblings in their matchy tees and grins! kala teeka! :)

Oh and I must talk about matching tee I got made from Sandhya of Masala Popsicles. I just told her I want sun, moon, stars and everything space and she came up with the design, printed em and handed them over to me in time! Absolutely delightful!

The decoration was up for almost a month! Arre itta effort liya tha, woh ek din mein waste thodi naa karenge? :)

All in all, it was a fun party! Cub and Bub played with the rocket till it was in tatters and the jet pack was played with as well. So, nothing really was a waste even thought everything was created out of the waste! :)

Oh and I must make a note of what the invite said! This was the first time we made invites actually. We folded the papers in rocket shapes and wrote the info on the inside. The top said Come Fly to The Moon. On the other side it said Open To Find Out how! Inside it had this silly rhyme I came up with!

Meteors and Rockets
Aliens from other planets
Astronauts, Sun and Moon
The Space is all around is - morning, night or noon!

Come join Kabir for his fun space party as he turns 6!

What?! Everyone cannot be good at this stuff, can they?! :D

Ps: Must mention that the party would have been impossible without help from my friends in the colony. Thank you laydeez! You know who you are!! :D

And now for a little birthday note.

Darling Cub,

This year has been a mixed bag! You have blossomed into a much more confident child, even though we still have some way to go. You have been getting better and better at this whole public speaking gig. We look at the little boy on stage in wonder and think when did you grow so big? :) It is all very bitter-sweet! You have finally discovered the joys of reading a book. I have Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to thank for it. I don't even think you understood everything, but the excitement of what will happen next along with the laalach of getting to watch the movie based on the book, kept you hooked!

Now there is no looking back, is there? Of course reading is not your first choice of distraction, but I am happy it is one of the options! So high-five for that! :) We have gotten you a library membership and I hope we will make good use of it!

You have your own set of friends at school and in the colony. You are a good friend! :) Yes, you are also a tad too sensitive, just like your mother, and prone to crying ever so often. You and me, we aren't very good with confrontations and yet I don't know how to help you with it. Let's hope we will figure out a way!

You are a fabulous fabulous older brother to the Bub! She is extremely lucky to have you in her life and I hope you guys will grow closer as the years pass by.

I am also very proud of how creative you are! We went for your little cousin Arzoo's first birthday and you had absolutely no company of your age. You found a big blade of grass and then I saw you play with just that for such a long time - coming up with god knows how many stories and uses for that one little thing! That day you refused to throw away the Flipkart packaging that came with Your books! Before I knew it, Papa and you had made a stunning Iron Man mask and a part of his suit out of it and it was mainly YOUR work! :)

M drew the outlines and cut it out for him while he did all this awesome colouring! :)

We have been having some discipline issues or shall i say communication issues. I am trying hard to rein in my temper with not much success till now. We are at loggerheads ever so often and I really do not enjoy it one bit. Let's work on it this year and try and make it better for both of us, eh?! :)

In all the daily fights, I often forget just how amazing you are! I am sorry for that. I hope I am not on my way to sending you to a shrink. Sigh! Stay good, my love! You are quite perfect really!

I know this post is late, but here's wishing you a year full of laughter, joy, happiness, creativity, imagination, books, toys, outings, family, friends and everything else your heart desires! Love ya lots! And pots!

you better read this letter 4

2013-08-08T14:41:00.002+05:30

Dearest Cub and Bub,

You mother has been quiet for a long time and while you poor things keep getting an earful from me pretty much everyday, I haven't spouted some gyaan in this space. So, might as well, eh?

You know what I have been noticing the most these days is sheer lack of courtesy in every sphere of life. My biggest peeve at times being simple Elevator manners. Yes, seemingly simple - 'Let people getting off, well, get off first and then get in. The elevator WILL wait. Yes, really! Folks seem to not even notice little kids while they push past as if, it is the last ride ever.

Point is, courtesy in underrated and I want both of you to know it and remember - at all times! I think it is better to over-do the Thank-you than not enough. People might say you are being formal and that it is not necessary, but good manners ARE a necessity. Keep at it!

Then there is something called Personal Space which isn't always physical. Indians by nature are curious about other people's lives and we don't think about how personal and intrusive our questions can be. So try and learn that there are some questions that you do not ask people or some comments you do not make. Especially people you don't know too well and vice versa.

Do not comment on people's weight! Ever! Whether they are too fat, too thin or have gone from being fat to thin or thin to fat. It is extremely rude to say the least. In the same vein, never ask a woman if she is pregnant. If she is, she will tell you when she thinks the time is right or never at all, but imagine that she is NOT preggers and you ask that question! Definite no go! :)

Same way, no commenting on skin colour or hair or any another physical characteristic in a person. Let's just say the thumb rule is, 'If you do not have anything nice to say, stay quiet'. There is no need to shoot our mouths all the time, is there?

Another invader of personal space set of questions is related to marriage and kids. It really is none of your business as to why someone chose to Not marry or Not have kids or chose to marry someone you think is not right or have one too many kids than you think is ok! :) It is annoying to the person in question o be interrogated for his / her personal choices and rude on your part to ask them.

Also uncool to ask someone how much they earn or tell how much you do.

Life is tough for a lot of folks and we won't know why they are the way they are till we walk many miles in their shoes. There are always things we will not know. I am not saying you cannot discuss these things with your close friends, but only if they are ok with it. But you definitely do not want to ask these questions to a casual acquaintance, a random relative or your colleagues. I have been guilty of some of these, but I have now learnt to not to indulge in these faux-pas as far as possible. At least not intentionally! :)

So there, that is it for today! I will be back when I think of something else to chew your ears about! :)

Love ya both! Lots!

ps: you can read the previous letters here, here and here

a quickie of Milestone alert type! :)

2013-06-14T23:30:00.002+05:30

Important milestones for both Cub and Bub.

Cub is now officially out of kindergarten and a primary school student! Yes, the little baby Bumpy is now in 1st grade. Sometimes, even I find it hard to believe. He is losing last vestiges of babyness and at time it is heartbreaking! He now goes to school the entire day and comes back excited and tired. They have to copy down their own homework in diaries now and there are multiple subjects! Language, Maths, Social Science, Literature and Hindi. There are pages of homework that come in a dreaded blue file, but least the school tries to make them sheets interesting, fun and practical. I still cannot get over the sudden jump in the quantum of learning just one year on. Sigh! He seems to be doing fine as of now, so should be ok.

Cub can read quite fluently by now, but is yet to show any inclination to read by himself. He still loves being read to, so I do that as often as I can. He now reads the menu at restaurants and orders for himself. He can tell the time for a while now, though can sometimes get confused post the 40mins mark. He is lazy just like me and I wish we could do a gene replacement surgery! :p

He was super worried about his lunch at school. He asked me one night before school re-opened if I had bought lunch coupons from school. I told him that I will pack him lunch from home everyday. He was a little shocked at the prospect and then very thoughtfully told me, "Mamma! I think you should cook previous night only and then heat the food in microwave and give it to me. See! Till senior kg there was only dabba and it was easy, but now it will take more time!"

Now lets not judge the mother's cooking or time management skills, though I am must agree he is not off the mark at all! :p

The Bub started her school as well! :) We found a lovely little school close to home for her thanks to a Facebook question (which was M's idea). It is cosy and personal and being run by some really nice women! :) It has been two weeks now and she seems to have finally settled down. She indulges in token protest every morning, but is not crying her eyes out. All she does currently is take aata (dough) and keep rolling out chapatis. Like my parents said, chances are she will learn to make then before I do! (I must write about my chapatis some day!:p)

She has changed and grown up so much in past few months. She can really talk your ears off. She is also stubborn and naughty in equal measure and it is not always a great combo to have. She is still her mamma's girl, but has stopped not recognizing the father least. She conveniently blames Cub for any mischief she has indulged in. She also gives Cub a rousing welcome home every single afternoon and it is lovely to watch them together! (we will talk about the fights some other day!)

Here they are on day one of school! Bright eyed and bushy tailed! (The struggle to wake Cub up began from day 2! hehe!) And I need to finish this post and sleep, lest it again goes into drafts to never see light of the day!

Mannu bhai Motor chali pum pum pum! :)

2013-05-01T23:59:00.000+05:30

I will not even say how I plan to write regularly etc. Obviously it is a gheesa tape by now with no meaning whatsoever. So let me just cut the chase and tell you what I want to save here for posterity. For a change it is about me and not the kids. What? I WILL write about the kids soon. Really! :)

So, we are well on our way to being a woman experienced at being in her 30's. There is a lot things that I did and so many more that I want to do. My bucket list if you will. Bungee jumping, visiting Disneyland and learning to swim are yet to be managed, but I have finally managed to learn how to DRIVE! Yyaayyy! :)

Having grown up in Bombay, with no obvious need for a car, we never owned one and by that simple fact never learned to drive one. My parents with their infinite foresight that I could not have imagined then, bought me a two-wheeler. Not that one needed that either, what with the trains, buses, taxis and ricks being easily easily available and all that. My folks thought that it would improve my non-existent sense of direction. It did not help on that count, but it did help me get a road sense and made my life so much simpler and richer once I moved to Bangalore post marriage. M had a two-wheeler and since I had a sales job that needed me to travel a fair bit around the city, I was soon riding along all over the city.

If you have lived in Bangalore, you know it is not an easy task to survive without a vehicle of your own. The autorickshaws are a pain in all possible wrong places. They are rude and cheats. Most of them. Buses have extremely random routes which take forever (though that has improved quite a bit now). So, the fact that I could ride a two-wheeler was such a huge blessing.

Life moved along fine with our trusty Dio. We bought a second hand Maruti 800 after a few years. M learned to drive. I went to a driving school. Had a weird old instructor who would hit us with a wooden scale if we made a mistake. Do not ask me why I didn't just holler or complain. He was just so old and grandpa like that I could not. Oh well! Anyway, after finishing the training thing, getting a license and putting up a L board, I tried to drive. I did too a few times, but not enough to get comfortable with it it. Then I was expecting the Cub and everyone talked about not taking unnecessary risks etc and my driving took a back seat. For a long time.

Then a good friend decided to learn and insisted I did too. So, off we went again. This time to the Maruti Driving School (the one run by the company and not the one just named Maruti!) This one was done by Pratham Motors, one of their dealers. We both have sorta big cars at home, so we decided to learn on the Swift D'zire. The instructors were much better and we got comfortable behind the wheel pretty quick.

Of course, it is one thing to drive with the instructor knowing fully well that they have controls under their feet as well, and quite another to drive your own car with mortal fear of denting your car or even worse killing someone.

A wise friend told me that the trick to actually driving on the roads is to driving every single day for atleast a month. So with M by my side, I was finally driving our Punto! We had our screaming matches and we still do every now and then! :p

We managed to get decent amount of practice done before M was to leave for the US for a month. And what a blessing that was. I could take kids out over the weekend. Go out with friends and do my grocery shopping without worrying about how will I carry everything on the bike.

More than anything else, it was the kick of having learned something new. To have been able to achieve what you could not previously. To see the pride in M's and Cub and Bub's eyes.

I still do not drive very well or anything. There are jhatkas and bumps, but nothing bad enough to stop me from driving, though the lazy me would now rather do it only when i HAVE to! ;)

Here's a picture to go! :)