Culture kills... wait, I mean cutlery

Does Film Exist In The Future? Not According to Star Trek

2012-01-25T21:43:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking about this for a couple of days and I think I've noticed something very strange, something which never occured to me, but which seems so obvious now, and if I am off base, I have a feeling I will be corrected quickly.

Have you noticed that it seems like movies have ceased to exist as a medium in the Star Trek universe?

I mean, books exist, as they have been given as gifts a number of times through the various series and movies, but movies... where did they suddenly go.

I know some of you are saying they were made redundant by the holodeck, but I don't think that would be true, because there have been references to live theatre and other artistic media as well.

If Gilbert and Sullivan made it to the 24th century, then where did movies go? You'd think that on a ship that is out in space for months at a time, that having someplace on board where a large group of people could watch movies when they aren't on shift would be a good idea. Or with all the kind of computer resources that have access to the knowledge of the universe and replicators and such, it would seem like it would be possible for there to be a couple thousand movies in the databanks as well.

And there is video communication in that universe, but people don't really seem to take home movies. I know people have made logs, but those were all official. My memory isn't bringing up any instances where someone filmed their children doing things or stuff like that.

That's not to mention the absence of television or episodic entertainment as well.

Now given how some of the holodeck programs run, it is clear that someone somewhere in the history of that technology had seen genre film (like Tom Paris's sci-fi serial based holodeck simulations and Picard/Riker's film noire styled holodeck adventures), but it seems like for the most part, film does not exist as an artform in that era.

But when I think about it, it seems that in a lot of movies about the far future, it seems that film doesn't exist.

From Pinkeye To The Big Time

2012-01-24T16:17:00.000-05:00

I wonder how many people, upon seeing Jonah Hill in The 40 Year Old Virgin thought that one day he was going to be nominated for an Oscar.

Then again, I never thought 2 actors from Big Momma's House would both be nominated for Academy Awards in the same year, so anything truly is possible in Hollywood.

Let's just hope that 21 Jump Street doesn't prove to be Hill's Norbit... you know, the thing that kills his chances of winning the award like that latter movie killed Eddie Murphy's chances the year he was nominated.

Sunday Night Video: Dora The Explorer's Incepcion

2012-01-22T22:37:00.000-05:00

*slow applause*

SOPA and PIPA

2012-01-18T16:51:00.000-05:00

The SOPA and PIPA bills would affect me personally if they passed, and they would adversely affect most of you as well.

This blog is in part built on mashups, remixes and music videos, all of which would be grounds to remove it from the internet if SOPA and/or PIPA passed. In addition, I have on occasion used materials for the purposes of criticism or commentary, which again would put this blog in the line of fire if someone decided they didn't like what I had to say or felt it was in the best interest of the company they represented to be very zealous in enforcing their copyright.

Even without those threats to this blog on an individual level, I would also have to worry about the potential problems Google and Blogger would face if those bills were to pass.

Because these bills also remove the protections that hosting sites have had in the past, they would be liable for the actions of their users, which means that even the most innocent of user transgressions would have serious consequences for the companies that make up the backbone of our community. That means that blogging as a whole would suffer, especially in political and pop culture/entertainment circles.

I'll get to the political part a little later, but let's start with the pop culture thing first since I do have some experience in that arena. Since as a group, we post videos a lot, it makes it difficult to do our hobby if we are always looking over our shoulder, afraid that the music video we posted hyping a new band, or the snippet of a movie shown on an entertainment program would end up killing our blog without due process or a chance to remedy the situation after being notified. In fact, you could be entirely innocent and have your blog become inaccessible because someone else on the same server is breaking copyright and because you share the same bit of webspace, you are punished. If for example, this blog was on the same server as a blog that featured a video where someone was discussing and showing clips from a Hollywood blockbuster, we could both be tarred with the same brush because we are sharing the same service.

Which, when you think about it, sort of sounds like what the RIAA did to a lot of people in their earlier battle against people for file sharing. They used dubious methods using IP addresses to try to coerce people into paying outrageous settlements when they had no case.

And with political blogs, think about how much footage of candidates and political stories appear on one of the major cable and radio news networks. Let's say you had a site or blog which was critical of one or more of these networks and you used footage from one of them to demonstrate your point as part of your rights under fair use in criticism and commentary. In the post-SOPA/PIPA world, the network in question could have your site taken down without going through legal channels and without you having the ability to defend yourself.

If you think what I am saying is far fetched, I need only mention the fact that last month the Universal Music Group had videos supporting Megaupload taken down when they had absolutely no legal right to demand that since they owned absolutely none of the content. And that was before they had the power granted to them by those two bills.

I've had my site scraped and had my content stolen by spamblogs many times in the past, so I know it sucks to have your intellectual property stolen. But these bills aren't the solution to that.

As Clay Shirky from The Guardian has noted, they will have the effect of forcing sites worldwide to be far more invasive than they currently are to protect themselves from being blacklisted.

SOPA and PIPA are bad for almost everyone and it is my hope that the mounting public pressure against them will kill them both.

Comedy Gold: The Relationship Doppelganger

2012-01-16T16:45:00.001-05:00

In situation comedies, there tends to be certain patterns that emerge as you watch characters traverse the world of relationships. One which I've noticed popping up more often than I had thought is the relationship doppelganger. To explain that simply, I mean instances where one character begins dating someone who is clearly a younger or slightly altered version of another character on the show.

I have broken these kinds of relationships into 4 different kinds.

The Oedipal: Examples: Frasier, Two and a Half Men

The lead character has just met the perfect woman, someone who makes them feel something they haven't felt in a long time. And then the other characters on the show meet the new girl and there is a stunning physical and at times, personality similarity to the lead character's mother. Everyone else can see it and is unnerved by it, but the character in question is in denial. It finally takes seeing their new lover in a situation which makes it clear that they are very much the embodiment of their mother for them to finally understand what they have done.

In the case of Frasier, it took seeing some home movies of his mother, played by the same actress as his character's girlfriend, Rita Wilson, for him to finally see that he was dating his mother. And on Two and a Half Men, Charlie had to see his current girlfriend with her two sons to finally see the parallels between her and his own mother. The fact that he stays with her after noticing it pushed the joke way too far though.

The Ex/Desired Lover: Examples: Friends, Frasier

A character either breaks up with another character on the show or they secretly long to be with them, and they then start dating someone who is very similar physically and in terms of personality to that person.

With Friends, there was a single episode which followed Rachel's admission that she wanted to be with Ross, and the ill fated list that angered her so. So she ends up dating Russ, who is also played by David Schwimmer. Ross hated Russ, even though all the things he hated were things that he himself did. Of course, everyone but Ross and Rachel could see from the outset that they were very much the same person, which said everything about Rachel's feelings for Ross.

And on Frasier, just before Niles was going to ask Daphne out, she met Rodney at a singles bar, a man who looked and acted very much like him. Unlike Ross however, Niles almost immediately realizes the similarity. In the end, Rodney ends up falling in love with the woman that Niles had started dating and in the final segment, Niles ends up comforting Daphne about the breakup.

And these last two examples are both Seinfeld spins on this kind of thing.

Dating Your Best Friend: George dated a girl who physically looked a little like Jerry. It wasn't until she got gum stuck in her hair and had to get a short haircut that he finally saw it.

Dating Yourself: Jerry got engaged to a girl played by Janeane Garofalo who was basically him as a woman. He decided that he couldn't date himself because he hates himself.

Now, there are likely other variations on this theme that I've missed, but I think you get the basic idea of this particular category.

Dungeon Defenders

2012-01-13T23:24:00.000-05:00

Every time there is a major Steam sale, there is one game which I end up with which becomes the star of the show.

In the previous sales, it had been Beat Hazard Ultra, with a twist of the-then newly free Team Fortress 2.

In the holiday sale that ended a few weeks ago, the star ended up being a game called Dungeon Defenders.

And the thing is, I didn't end up buying the main game. Someone I know won a copy as part of the contest, but since they already had it, they gave it to me.

Then I bought everything else including DLC that is yet to be released, and I've put about 60 hours into it already.

The basic jist of the game is it combines tower defense with third person action RPGs in a world that is cel-shaded and cartoonish with a light fantasy story.

It is designed for 4-player co-op play, but it is also very approachable for solo play, and I've done a bit of both during my time with the game. There are some challenges which you need help on based on the logistics, so it is always better to play with the little help from your friends.

There are basically 4 different classes to build a character from: the Squire, who is your traditional knight-type character; the Apprentice, who is your basic mage; the Monk, who builds a lot of support towers and such; and the Huntress, who lays traps and uses crossbows and guns (and there is DLC which allows you to build the characters from the opposite side of the gender divide as well), and their abilities and towers complement each other. Take for instance, the monk has a tower which slows enemies down. When you pair that with the magical elemental towers of the Apprentice, it means that enemies are exposed to damaging projectiles for much longer.

It is a game that is simple from the outset, but which has a lot of depth, and is well worth investing time in, because I have one character almost at the top of the heap levelwise, but there is still a lot more stuff to get and more challenges to attack.

The game is currently available for the PC, PS3 and 360, though the PC version has a lot more DLC available (and is available worldwide, unlike the console versions which I've heard haven't been released in Europe or Australia yet).

Midweek Video: Time Traveling Geek

2012-01-12T20:16:00.000-05:00

Another bite-sized sketch from the geeks at the SMBC theatre.

To paraphrase Homer Simpson... everything looks bad when you look forward to it.

And the final line is hilarious.

The New Ontario Lottery

2012-01-10T21:56:00.000-05:00

The Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation has been advertising a new daily lottery which just sounds so much stupider than their previous games.

Rock, Paper, Scissors.

I can't make that up.

You pick 14 throws, and if your throws match the throws generated by a computer, then you win money.

I remember the last time I saw money being bet on Rock Paper Scissors, I was watching the low rent casino scene from Vegas Vacation.

And one of the selling points is the possibility that celebrities may end up determining the outcome on some days.

*facepalm*

Is this really the best they could come up with? Seriously?

Sunday Video: Pingu's The Thing

2012-01-08T17:42:00.000-05:00

This claymation masterpiece has been making the rounds on Facebook this week, and it is just awesome.

Basically, by blending the children friendly Pingu with a rather faithful condensation of one of the best horror movies ever made, Lee Hardcastle has produced something which is astonishingly compelling.

It wasn't until my third viewing that I noticed something a little off about the music at the end.

I'm BACK!

2012-01-06T21:50:00.000-05:00

Well, it has been a while since I've updated this blog, at least by my standards, but if you can't take a holiday once in a while, then what fun is the world? The fact that the break took place around the same time as Christmas, New Year's and the Steam Holiday Sale is likely purely coincidental.

Over the past two weeks or so, I've had some time to think about just what I want this blog to become.

I mean, I've been doing this for a long time at this point and to keep it interesting for myself, I have to perhaps freshen some things up. What is the point of doing the same thing over and over again. Like how many times can I condemn another remake or make fun of a celebrity (which in my defense, the latter I haven't been doing nearly as often as I once did).

And I posted a lot more pictures lately, but part of that was my way of posting without really writing anything, which is sort of cheap. Geeky pictures should be a supplement to written posts, not a substitute, especially since I wasn't developing that content myself.

So I have to get back to my roots, to the things that made this blog great at one point... you know, Chinese food containers, tales of karaoke and weird experiences playing games, remembering movies, and the like. I want things to be fun and informative like they used to be.

I just want things to be awesome again. How awesome?

I don't know... the image I have in my mind is of a nuclear-powered B-52 flown by bears dropping napalm on Nazi zombies and the Scientology Celebrity Center, which has a fireworks stand on the top floor, in the middle of the night.

So, there is still a lot of life left for Culture Kills... I just have to find it.

Midweek/Christmas Video: Henchman 21/24 Sing Wonderful Christmastime

2011-12-22T20:29:00.000-05:00

A Venture Brothers Christmas song... an annual tradition.

My Year At Steam

2011-12-20T22:45:00.000-05:00

Since there is a huge end of the year sale going on at Steam, and I've been using the service for about a year now, I thought I would share my thoughts on some of my favorite games that I've played on Steam over the past year with some quick reviews.

The Elder Scrolls: Morrowind: I have to admit, my conception of what a role playing game was supposed to be was very much rooted on the Japanese side of the pond, where there was a central narrative and a lot of invisible walls guiding you towards the end, with few deviations, and yes, I had played a few games which were sandbox games with RPG elements, but it wasn't until I played Morrowind (with some graphical mods to bring it up to today's standards in terms of visuals) that I really understood what a Western sandbox role playing game could be. There was just so many ways to play and so many places to explore that it was easy to just go off and do your own thing. While I did not finish it, my experience was exceptional, and I look forward to playing Oblivion, the Fallout games and eventually Skyrim.

Beat Hazard: I was never really into bullet hell-type shooters, but the lovely twist on that genre is that each level is generated by whatever piece of music you play it to. And since the elements are pretty much the same every time you play that particular song, you can compete against yourself to better your score or coop/play against your friends who have that same song. It is a brilliant design decision. However, it is certainly not a game for those who have epilepsy. But if you can take the flashing (it took me a while to get used to it), it is a very enjoyable experience.

AI War: Fleet Command: This is a relatively new entry for this list, but it does have more than a few little tricks up its sleeve to make up for that. The premise is simple... there was a war between two competing factions on Earth who both created AI forces to try to defeat each other. However, over time, the AI conspired with each other to try to take humanity out, which pushed the remnants of the human race together against the foe they had mutually created. I know it sounds like something out of the Matrix, but it does give the whole game a great atmosphere. Blending elements of real time strategy, tower defense and other tactical gaming, you really do get a sense at the beginning that you are fighting a hopeless battle (and the AI swatted me enough times when I was playing a little too brash for my own good). I also love the fact that when you play with other people online, they are always on the same team as you... that they have the same goal as you... to defeat the two AI forces (which each have their own unique fighting styles) and win the galaxy back for humanity.

The Binding of Isaac: There are a few phrases that I can use to describe this game. Gross. Blasphemous. Zelda-clone. Rogue-like. And yet, they don't really get down to the essence of what makes this game so fun (and at times frustrating). With its cartoonish graphics about a child escaping from the mother who wishes to sacrifice him to God through the underworld beneath his home, it's charm is easy to see, and it is clearly a game designed with a perverse sense of humor, and the fact that it mimics a lot of the aesthetics of the original Legend of Zelda is also a huge selling point. But what makes this a stand out title for me is the fact that every time you play it, the dungeon changes, as do the powerups you find, which gives the game a lot of replay value. Add to that the choice that you only have one life with no continues, which increases the difficulty, and you can see why this game might also be maddening. So if you don't mind a lot of blasphemous content in your games, you will probably enjoy this game.

Team Fortress 2: A first person shooter with a wicked sense of humor, great visual style and supports a lot of different play styles. And its free. It is the game that just keeps on giving for me. I love, love, LOVE this game and unlike some of the other multiplayer games I've played, generally the other people playing are cool too. I have almost 100 hours of play in this game and I can literally count the number of times I've been insulted by another player on one hand (with some fingers to spare). I've met a lot of people who were just getting into Steam, and it is the first game I recommend. It is a game that is easy to get into and one which is very much geared for a quick play, but with all the weapons that you find, it also rewards persistence and strategic thinking, because some combinations will be much more conducive to a particular play style.

I never thought I would say this, but I think I've finally become an whole hearted advocate of digital game distribution. The sheer availability of legally obtainable games at my fingertips is amazing. I've played a lot of games I would have never even been able to find at a store, games crafted with love or from an area of the world where distribution in stores in North America would be a pipe dream, and for that I am thankful.

My year with Steam has been memorable and has opened my eyes to just how wonderful gaming is.

The New NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

2011-12-20T01:46:00.000-05:00

I think this image might have the mojo to siphon off some of the support the Darth Vader Comic version of NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! has.

I mean, I may use it in the future when talking about an ill-advised remake.

Midweek Video: A Calvin and Hobbes Christmas

2011-12-15T15:21:00.000-05:00

This is very quaint, yet disturbing look back at the snow handiwork of Calvin and Hobbes that ends with a wonderful message.

If You Plan On Doing Some Scott Pilgrim Sightseeing...

2011-12-13T22:11:00.000-05:00

...then this tumblr post from Gabdar is the perfect place to start.

It matches a lot of Toronto landmarks to their in-comic references. While not complete, it is a great start to the process of identifying the various places around the city that were inspiration for the graphic novels/movie.

Now That Is A Christmas Lawn Ornament!

2011-12-12T22:22:00.000-05:00

via: Unreality Mag

Why didn't someone else think of this before?

Calvin and Hobbes is always awesome.

1985's Epic Battle of Diss

2011-12-09T21:41:00.000-05:00

I love the fact that there is an entry about the multiple participant rap war of 1985 known as the Roxanne Wars, starting with Roxanne, Roxanne and then Roxanne's Revenge before just rolling out of control after that.

A diss battle that blew up but doesn't seem to have resulted in any real violence or anything... just a lot of records in a short period of time.

You would think that with Youtube and all the various ways of distributing work, we might be able to see another epic battle like this take place over a summer.

I would love that. We need a good old artistic diss battle without bloodshed.

Midweek Video: Sequelitis on Mega Man Classic and X

2011-12-08T22:47:00.000-05:00

I was really impressed by this breakdown of how the early Mega Man games were designed in a particular way that taught you everything you needed to know to play them without holding your hand or breaking the action.

It is a long video and there is a lot of swearing, but it really highlights an issue that plagues modern games... that designers sort of treat gamers like idiots that need to have everything explained to them in tutorials rather than teaching you how to play by setting up situations where you naturally discover how to play it by experimenting.

I played Mega Man X on a PS2 collection and it is exactly how he explains it. It was an example of a game creating set pieces that teach you how to play the game organically, and it is something that other designers should take note of.

A Quandary A Lot Of Us Are Facing

2011-12-07T00:38:00.000-05:00

It seems to have taken hold hardcore all around me.

Sunday Video: Game of Thrones Theme With Bagpipes

2011-12-04T20:38:00.000-05:00

Strangely appropriate.

Just one of the many cover versions of that theme song.

Damn You Hollywood Redux

2011-12-03T21:29:00.000-05:00

You know that scene in The Godfather where Sonny beats the crap out of his brother-in-law in the street after finding his sister was a victim of domestic abuse?

I'd love to see that happen to the executive who greenlit the remake of Starship Troopers, because they are an asshole.

Still, I don't hate them as much as I hate the person who said yes to remaking Robocop. They should be thrown down the stairs like Bear in Get Shorty at least 3 times a day for the rest of their lives.

Of course, they could be one and the same person. Then they deserve so much worse. *shake fist*

Midweek Video: Out of Control

2011-11-30T18:55:00.002-05:00

A great song with a video featuring Rosario Dawson.

How can you go wrong?

I Feel Very Machiavellian Right Now

2011-11-29T22:04:00.000-05:00

Sometimes you have gaming experiences where it feels like everything is against you, no matter what you do. And sometimes you experience a series of events that you've set in motion that make you feel like an evil genius, all of whose plans are coming to fruition.

This is one of those latter tales.

It all starts as my time at Peru's Universidad San Martin in Football Manager 2011 was winding down to a close. I had just won the Peruvian First Division title, and I was looking for a new challenge.

So I quit my job there and while there were no positions immediately open, I did publicly express interest in a couple of jobs which had been occupied at the time, but which were ripe for the taking, as the people sitting in those chairs were not bringing the kind of success that management was looking for.

I went after jobs with Boca Juniors in Argentina and Penarol in Uruguay. Boca said they had to see how things were going with their current manager, but Penarol offered me that job almost immediately. I had wanted an 18 month contract, and they would only give me 6. So I finally relented.

And it turns out that in taking the job, I put Luis Fernandez Suarez out of a job. Now, when I was at San Martin, I had a rather poor professional relationship with Suarez, who had been the coach at Cristal before Penarol approached him to manage their club.

So getting that job at Penarol was screwing someone who I had a bad relationship with already, which was sort of cool.

Then I looked at the standings for the first half of the season.

Penarol finished 4th. The difference between where they were and first place was 2 points or to put it another way, the difference between a win and a tie.

I had booted someone I hated out of a job because in one game out of many, Penarol didn't score one more goal.

Again, I got a job because of a single goal or lack thereof.

So I was pretty much in a situation where I was going to succeed, and I did everything I could to see that the team met its goals. I won the second half of the season and qualified the team for Copa Libertadores (which is the highest level international club competition in South America).

And as my contract was nearing an end, Boca then approached me and asked me to take over as soon as contract was finished at Penarol.

At this point, I should mention who the coach of Boca Juniors was at the time.

Diego Freakin' Maradona.

A guy that gets mentioned in the same breath as Pele (and one who some say was the greatest soccer player of all time). A polarizing figure who is loved in Argentina.

Yeah, I pushed that dude, out of a job. If I had pushed him out of nearly any other job, it would have been a little funny. The fact that I pushed him out of Boca Juniors, is amazing. I mean, they love him at Boca. They even have a fight song about him.

I pushed the man who scored what has been called the Goal of the Century for Argentina out of one of the crown jewels of its premier league.

That is a lot of responsibility. But I kept my head.

Then I won. And won. And won.

I won both halves of the season. I won the Copa Sudamericana. I took out Santos, Pele's and the rising star Neymar's former team in the Recopa, and I won the biggest South American club prize, the aforementioned Copa Libertadores. All in my first year.

That wasn't merely victory... that was a curb-stomp battle.

Of course, now they love me.

And riding that wave, I requested to my board that Boca pick up a feeder club, and so they looked around at literally thousands of in the world clubs and came back with a single choice.

Penarol.

Which means that upon agreeing to that, they are sort of my bitch now.

And to think, if Penarol would have given me that 18 month contract to begin with, well, they wouldn't be under the thumb of Boca at this moment.

The sprinkles on top of that icing is now due to my success at Boca over the past year, the Argentinean FA has offered me the helm of the national team, a position I can do concurrently with Boca. At this time, Argentina is ranked #1 in the world.

So yeah, this is going to be fun. If I was really evil, I could use my power as the national coach to sabotage my club side foes by calling up their stars right before I have to face Boca. I'm not going to, but oh, I could be so corrupt. And that is why I am on the verge of crossing the line from every day villainy to cartoonish super-villainy. And that's a good thing.

Slow Applause

2011-11-28T23:46:00.000-05:00

That is so succinct and just feels so right.

You Can't Have Thanksgiving Without a Chef

2011-11-24T18:56:00.000-05:00

Happi Turksagurvan!