I wondered what message I was sending as I walked down the beach this morning with some Delirious on my ipod and Jesus on my chest. I sported a nifty Jesus t-shirt. I got lots of looks, but absolutely no conversions. Isn’t this what Jesus t-shirts are supposed to do? Don’t we wear these so that lost people will be saved and become like us? I noticed most people were running, talking, sun bathing, playing, swimming, fishing, and enjoying the many grace gifts of God that caused pleasure. I don’t think anyone who saw my Jesus T wanted to stop what they were doing to become like me. Jesus maybe, but not me. I think there were glances at my t-shirt because, perhaps, they like Jesus… but not the suggested message that you have to walk up and down the beach with a billboard on your chest to convert heathens enjoying life too much. Jesus never wore a billboard of himself. He simply and powerfully grabbed onto life as his mission. It all reminded me of a quote from yesterday’s blog: “…one day we will all stand before God and He will judge us for all the possible pleasures He gave us to enjoy, but we failed to enjoy.”

Without relational investments, intentional & incarnational mission, and grabbing life Messianically… a Jesus t-shirt probably gives the wearer a very false sense of evangelistic security. However, I’m not sure it doesn’t do anyone else any earthly or heavenly good.

But… Lucy didn’t seem to mind — the t-shirt that is. Before my Delirious, Jesus t-shirt walk, I had ventured out to the beach early seeking Miss Lucy. I brought Sherry and Michael along as I had promised Lucy the day before (Morgan was out cold and couldn’t be awakened or shaken).

Right on the nose, Lucy strolled past our place at 7:15 a.m. Sherry and I walked towards her, and I introduced my lovely bride and son. Later Lucy would ask for Sherry’s name remembering that I had only introduced her as my lovely bride. This is a very sharp 85 year-old.

We talked for about 45 minutes. Lucy said she wasn’t feeling good getting up this morning, but our appointment coerced her to roll out and walk. She volunteered so much information during our impromptu beach side gathering. Lucy is from Tennessee. She moved to Florida in 1981 with her sister. Her sister was killed in a bicycle accident in 1987. Lucy misses her sister. She doesn’t have family that comes and visits. I now know the complex Lucy lives in, and ironically, I’ve tried to book this same place since 2001 when Sherry and I first started taking our study breaks here in Sarasota. Amazing. I’m going to make that specific booking happen next summer.

Well into our conversation, Lucy asked me about the church I led. I had written down my address, email, and cell phone number on a May 30th bulletin from Cumberland. I told Lucy I wanted to give my contact information in case she ever needed anything… and that my church information was riddled throughout the slightly dated bulletin. She said, “I was thinking the same thing,” and pulled out a small tablet she had packed so we could exchange contact info. Amazing. Now I know Lucy’s last name, and I have her email address. How cool is that?

After our 45 minute plunge of life was closing, I asked Lucy if I could pray for her. She agreed, and I was able to pray and bless Lucy as the morning sun began to reflect light and glory off the sand and water. What a great morning. I felt vindicated from the sense of failure I had stomached yesterday. Thank you, God.

I’m still processing what I’ve learned this week from my God appointments (and missed ones) with Lucy. Here’s just a few thoughts thus far:
1. Go. Get outside the norm of church world and contextualize Jesus in people’s environments. Invade with love and sensitivity… and this could take time.
2. Be intentional and missional while embracing a sense of life and living.
3. Relational investments will raise levels of expectations that must be carefully navigated… and met as best possible.
4. Don’t give up. There is a battle involved when eternity is at stake. The fight is not against someone or yourself as much as it is dark, spiritual authorities.
5. Be patient and trust God with the whole matter.
6. The best to come may not look like the best to come in my mind.
7. My passion, mission, and intentionality needs to be consistently lived out with pre-Christians wherever I am… with someone’s eternity fueling and driving me.
8. It doesn’t take much to make an impact.

It’s been a good study break. Our friends, the Clarkes, from Indiana were able to visit a bit. Peter Ngunyi came down and visited, and then took the two oldest girls back to Atlanta for their concert.

During study break I met with my discipleship group twice via Skype — for an hour and a half each time! I’m glad God has put four men around me who are that hungry to grow!

I completed five books. 1) Leading On Empty; 2) Vintage Church; 3) Castaway Kid; 4) The Hole In Our Gospel; 5) The Shaping Of Things To Come.
I studied through the book of Ephesians. As Hirsch and Frost suggest, Ephesians is a “primary tract on the nature of the Church itself and the nature of the ministry of the Church. Ephesians is a fundamental description and prescription of the Church in all ages.” I can definitely see a teaching series going through Ephesians in 2011 to gain a renewed sense of wonder for the Bride.

Time with Sherry was really, really good. Walks and talks have filled out tanks back up. Sherry did some reading, but we really didn’t talk that much about her enlightenment. She read five-inch novels, but I think she also read one of my blogs where I was a bit negative towards this. Consequently, she didn’t share much about her reading. I’m actually OK with this. (smile)

The kids did great. They know study break is for them too. We ask them to take a break and build into themselves as well. We always give them assignments. Brooklynn read all of “Red Moon Rising.” Lauren read 10 chapters of “Red Moon Rising,” and a novel called “Bathsheba.” Morgan read “Hear No Evil.” All four kids memorized 12 scripture passages — Philippians 4:12-13; Philippians 4:8; Mark 9:35; Proverbs 3:5-6; Psalm 37:4-6; I Corinthians 10:31; Isaiah 26:3-4; Zephaniah 3:17; Psalm 95:1-4; I Peter 1:24-25; John 8:12; and II Corinthians 5:17.
Jen Overly and Todd Graham gave us a fun resource for memorizing verses with their “Seeds” CD’s. We all enjoyed learning these verses in the car and on our ipods. (you know, Todd & Jen are absolutely the best)

And so… study break closes for another year. I’m ready to get back to Georgia. I’m excited to start my correspondence with Miss Lucy. I’m anxious to share with staff on Monday morning. I’m anxious to preach. Maybe I’ll wear my Jesus t-shirt. Lucy seemed to like it.

Lucy walked by at 7:15 this morning, but this time without a smile. I sprung up from my chair and gushed, “Lucy, we were so sorry you couldn’t make our dinner last night.” She said sternly, “I was here on Tuesday night. I thought you said Tuesday night.” Her hope drained eyes made my heart ache. On Tuesday morning I had invited her to our beach dinner on Wednesday night. I had specifically said Wednesday night. Tuesday night our plans were to hang out at the local mall. It sickened me to think Lucy was anxiously waiting at the beach for us while we were killing time being passionless mall rats.

I apologized to Lucy that we had gotten our signals crossed. I asked Lucy if we could try another night. She was short and terse with her glaring “no.” I asked if I could bring her breakfast tomorrow morning. She said, “Maybe next year.” Ouch. Our conversation was uncomfortable, but I managed to keep my head above the obvious and rough high tide waters of Lucy’s dashed hope. Explaining how my family really wanted to meet her, I went on to promise I would wake the gang early tomorrow morning just so they could say hello. A slight 85-year-old sparkle returned. Lucy inquired of my two silly bands. She had never seen one. I took off one of mine and placed it on her wrist. With that she began to head back down the beach. I’m not sure what I could have done differently, but the pit in my stomach was signaling failure. Ugh.

Lucy walked off into a literal and metaphorical distant shoreline using her walking sticks, and then disappeared where water met the cloudless blue sky. This whole Lucy thing felt like eternity was and is at stake. The glorious adventure turned out to be a bust for now… but nonetheless still an adventure.

There was spiritual battle going on. I wasn’t fighting Lucy or myself, but rather darker, spiritual authorities (Ephesians 6 reminded me). I just wanted the opportunity to speak and boldly make known the mystery of the gospel… the good news that I think Lucy needs. (more Ephesians 6).

Twas a bummer morning, dude. As I explained it all to Sherry, I could sense her sense of failed mission as well. Lord, please give me a constant passion and mission for people wherever and whenever I’m breathing… whether on study break or back in Atlanta. Make my heart beat and ache like it did today, Lord. Make my heart like Yours.

If the Lucy thing wasn’t enough, my two oldest daughters left today. Definitely more ugh. Brooklynn and Lauren are driving back to Atlanta for a big concert tomorrow night with a national band called Lovedrug. Lovedrug schmugdrug… I didn’t want my daughters to leave. Sherry said something about this leaving and being away from us stuff is only going to increase when it comes to the kids. I told her I wasn’t going to be very good at this.

I shuffled back to the beach like a grumpy old man feeling a bit defeated and melancholy. A few worship songs from Steve Fee lightened my heart, but then I scrolled through my ipod to some old school Stevie Wonder. A few choice selections from the album, “Songs In the Key Of Life” transported me back to my junior year in high school. Mom and dad were divorced, and I was living with mom, my sister Lynn, and my brother Greg. Because of my gracious Uncle Dave, the four of us lived in a two bedroom, one bath apartment. Although mom had to go back to work and living space was tight, I don’t remember our hard times being hard. Our apartment was the place many of our friends would hang out. That little brick apartment became a contextualization of good news — the gospel. Mom would make fried spam and macaroni and cheese to enhance a tight budget. I can’t remember complaining as I always loved my mom’s cooking. So did my friends… and I’d bet that was worrisome to my mother.

God seemed to be stirring some needed and comforting memories of growing up and home as I listened to “Always” from Stevie Wonder’s “Songs In the Key Of Life. Imagine that. I wasn’t, as Hirsch and Frost write (The Shaping Of Things To Come), defining holiness by what I wasn’t doing, but rather by hallowing and redeeming the everyday through a 70′s tune. Hmmm. Ancient rabbis are known for saying that one day we will all stand before God and He will judge us for all the possible pleasures He gave us to enjoy, but we failed to enjoy. I was enjoying and needing and redeeming some Stevie Wonder.

I think this is some of what the girls are trying to do with their Lovedrug concert tomorrow night. They want to redeem and redirect pleasure and life. They want to smash the prominent, not-yet-made-holy thinking that says the Church suppresses life. Too many believe that Christianty denies pleasure and nullifies life. This was not how Jesus lived his Jewish idea of L’chaim and life.

I believe this was what I was trying to do with Lucy. I wanted to enter into her life and unique cultural context in the same way Jesus came as “Emmanuel.” I had hoped a beach dinner, wine and cheese, a glorious sunset, great conversation, and enjoying life would be more about an incarnational Jesus than it was anything about Alan or another notch on my evangelism belt. But alas… it all feels like failure. We’ll see what happens tomorrow morning — my last morning here.

I hope the girls fair better than I as they contextualize and play with Lovedrug. I’m glad God doesn’t separate secular and sacred, and can use a Stevie Wonder song. I hope I can continue to lead and teach at a church where we’re figuring out how all of life is to be enjoyed and lived missionally, incarnationally, and sacred.

Guess what the number one topic among beach walkers is these days? Yep. Tar balls. Exciting stuff. Even in central Florida where there are no signs of invading BPeeps, it’s what everyone is talking about. You can hear all about tar balls and rumors of tar balls all up and down the beach.

Someone said this whole mess was caused by a critical error not to install a $350k shut off valve in the controversial oil well. It was a short cut to more profits. If this is true, it was stealing from the vast resources of the seas without a thought to giving back. Regardless, it’s all a mess. This historic disaster seems incredibly selfish and horribly wrong once the results of an oil sick Pelican is plastered indelibly on the cable TV news stations and in our minds.

They say Louisiana marshes have been decimated. Alabama tourism has been cut in half, and tar balls have just begun to float into the Florida panhandle. Most are guessing how far south the devastation will wash ashore. It looks like the results of alleged, self-centered energy execs will have a far reaching, negative, and long lasting impact for generations to come. Hmmm.

I’ve been thinking more today about the church. It’s most definitely what God is speaking into me during this study break. I’ve tried to do some Church analysis and make sense of it all. The church I grew up in during the 60′s and 70′s gave good, Biblical foundations, but at some point lost the edge concerning evangelism and lost people. The 80′s and 90′s saw the pendulum swing to the far extreme attaching effectiveness to the needs of spiritual seekers. Great production, topical messages, nonthreatening gatherings, timely and precisely timed services were geared to serve up some Jesus on a relevant platter to those with identified felt needs. Churches everywhere exploded with growth and an onslaught of very consumeristic Christians trained to be served and not so much serve. People got saved, then became very selfish in what they wanted in and from their churches. Selfish tar balls started floating into the church. Paul Harvey once said, “Instead of being fishers of men, we’ve become keepers of the aquarium.”

Now a younger generation sick of the aquarium threatens to abandon all semblances of church for something organic and real. Structure wars with the spirituality of young minds who tired quickly of self-serve Sunday religion oblivious to injustice around the block and around the world. I do understand this frustration and mass exodus from church world. Church tar balls can have a far reaching, negative, and long lasting impact for generations to come.

The church I took the family to on Saturday night was horribly cool. A brand new building decked out with a very hip lobby, coffee & smoothie bar, smokin’ stage lights, packed house, untucked and facial-haired staff, and a David Letterman, monologue -esque message made for a very… uhm… interesting experience. One of my daughters afterwards said, “Dad, something about that just bugged me.” I knew what it was. Jesus was never mentioned. The excitement being generated was about the excitement being generated. I wondered if anything outside their freshly painted walls were important. I wondered if the hyper pastor was exhausted and fearful of his success. There seemed to be a hole in this church’s gospel. Tar balls.

Faith (evangelizing the lost) can, for some, be at war with works (attending injustice). Left alone, either choice can create a hole in our gospel.

However I’m convinced both structure of gathering and the organics of authentically serving the marginalized MUST reside together in order for the body of Christ to thrive. I believe, again, the Church (big “C” and little “c”) can realize the fullness of Christ when the body gathers for teaching and regeneration and then takes to the streets to live it all out.

Richard Stearns in, The Hole In Our Gospel,” says, “Our greatest power to change the world is released when we come together in collective action to organize and focus the resources of the whole body of Christ. God established the institution of the Church as a key strategy for building His kingdom and for leading the social revolution required by the gospel — on earth as it is in heaven.” There can be a healthy coming together and a going out. This then becomes the WHOLE gospel instead of having a HOLE in our gospel from focusing too much on Sundays while retreating from a suffering world, or replacing church structure with mere humanitarian efforts.

Selfish tar balls and rumors of tar balls have infiltrated the church. Our empires that either leave out the gospel or keep it to our selfish selves have strategically worked against a generation wanting to change world suffering. BUT… that same activist, younger generation can have a hole in their gospel if teaching, regeneration, church theology and doctrine is deemed trivial or something of the past. The fullness of Christ I’m being drawn to in the book of Ephesians cannot be realized in a vacuum or isolation from the Church… big and little “c.”

It’s the Church, stupid. It’s the Church. It’s time to quit being ashamed of the Church, and make sure we are part of the whole gospel — in and outside our walls.

I believe CCC is poised to do this. We have an excellent opportunity to create a place (not market a non-deliverable hype) where Jesus-driven regeneration can happen, AND glocal injustices are served. We have the hearts, the absolute right staff, resources, and God’s smile to present the WHOLE gospel.

I’m just a few pages from finishing “The Hole In Our Gospel.” This is a great read. Every CCC’er should read this. (I have a “water” idea I must run by Rob.) This book by Richard Stearns has reinforced and broaded my re-ignite of the Church God seems to be doing this study break.

When I finish Richard Stearns book (The Hole In Our Gospel), I’m going to do a re-read of “The Shaping of Things to Come.” I read this book last year. Hirsch and Frost seemed to trash the Church because of those same selfish tar balls that caused a hole in our gospel (not going outside our walls and comfort zones). “The Shaping Of Things To Come” is a missional book that swings the church pendulum to another extreme.

I’m determined to find the balance of Jesus’ Church where the fullness of Christ and the whole gospel can reside. Let’s do this…