Our zoo minder Kim did her best to change her usual sleepover routine into something more suitable for the big kids and we had a lot of fun despite the wet night, thin mattresses, and snoring. The morning after was beautiful and bright; the animals were out and about celebrating the first sun in days. We explored the grounds before the zoo opened and forgot that we hadn’t slept the night before.

During our morning explore I added a new animal to my favourites list. The Nyala males are beautiful punk looking antelopes and the females are pretty and Bambi like with their red fur and white markings.

He was been back in New Zealand over xmas though so Brend and I got to spend a couple of days with him drinking coffee and discussing future travel plans.

Pre New Years, Seb showed up to our house in one of his standard outfits. I really love his style, it’s hipster with a hasidic bent and was only made better when the sun forced him to roll up his suit pants and jacket.

A few weeks back I noticed a cool sounding role advertised at Xero. They’re on my list of ‘places I want to work’ so even though I’ve no formal experience as a technical writer I decided to go for the technical writer position anyway. Well, it’s been a few weeks now with no response other than the automatic “we’ve received your email” email, so I feel fairly confident saying it was out of my league.

I halfheartedly applied for another web based role at the NZ Nurses Organisation and was completely surprised when I was called an interview. I haven’t been interviewed for a specific job in over 5 years so the only thing making me not throw up with nervousness was the expectation I wouldn’t get the role. They did have a few candidates with actual qualifications & experience so I didn’t get that one either, and while that’s the result I expected it’s always a bit of a punch in the guts to be rejected.

The day following rejection number one was revelatory though. The 30 day reinvention project is coming to an end and through a combination of story telling & asking the right questions I think I’ve figured out what I want to do with my life. (!!) I think I really figured it out quite a while back but didn’t have the words to express it succinctly.

I want to help creatives run THEIR dream businesses. I want to be the admin, the assistant, the book keeper, and the extra pair of hands. I want to photograph their art, pimp them out, and be in charge of the lawyers when people are horrible. The amount of pressure to perform on command as a “creative” is too much for me. I’m no good at self promotion or getting things done for myself. Ive always loved organizing things for others, playing with numbers, and meeting deadlines.

In the real world where almost no small time creatives in NZ have the money to pay a helper good money it means I’ll be gunning for great companies first, learning experiences second, and boring but secure and well paying jobs third. All options have benefits. There’s nowhere but up.

• My Guantanamo Nightmare. How has America gotten away with this?
• This is Greece. A country full of people reaching for their Plan Bs and exit strategies. Eleni Zoe is experiencing it and making me cry at the helplessness I feel.
• 2011 was a bitch for so many people. The 45 most powerful images of 2011 show just how much a muderous wench mother nature can be. Fingers crossed 2012 is better for all.
• If you were interested in yesterday’s post then maybe you’d be interested in the seven questions you should be asking yourself when you’re not sure who you’re becoming. It could help you get back on track.
• I lurve gin. If you love gin too perhaps a different gin drink for every day of ginuary would appeal?
• And if gin isn’t your thing how about flavoured vodka? Laura made 2 amazing concoctions for our NY beach getaway. I spent NYE getting pretty drunk off homemade peppermint schnaps and forty-four because they tasted too good to be straight vodka. :/
• “It’s a joke!” #checkyourprivilege
• I’m still so disappointed in myself for not making it to Yayoi Kusama’s exhibition when it was in Wellington for months! Especially when I see these photos of the result of white room + kids + thousands of stickers.
• If there were to ever be an xkcd comic for me to live by it’s this one. Going on my cubicle wall on Monday. Fuck. That. Shit.
• Not all of these tips are gold but some of them are killer. Only travel with people you live with. For extended periods of time anyway. 15 golden rules to live by when traveling the world.
• Chomsky on America’s political system. (it’s short and worth the click.)
• Wear your cake and eat it too!
• Single, but really wanting children? Kill two birds with one stone. yaaaaaaay 0_o
• Texts from Bennett. So ridiculous, so funny, so scary.
• Eeeeeeeee! This hedwig costume is adorable, elegant, and not at all “sexy big bird”.
• Trees are my favourite thing in the world that isn’t my Mum. I want to stay at the Treehotel so bad!
• These 25 ideas to make life better have been all over my internet the past few days. If you haven’t seen them yet prepare to be pissed that you didn’t think of them earlier.
• Even if you don’t know who Amanda Palmer or Neil Gaiman is the story of their wedding will suck you in.
• I could eat a horse!
• How does the baby get in there?
• Oh well. (I still giggle every time I see this)
• These sacred Indian sites are so beautiful. Even without the gorgeous animals photoshopped into them.
• Wear everything. All the time! There are almost no items in my wardrobe that I wouldn’t wear just because. That has a lot to do with my level of confidence and sense of style, but also because I don’t want to hide something in my wardrobe if I really love it!
• It’s always funny when Twilight is the butt of the joke.
• Glitter polish is all the rage at the moment but it can be a nightmare to remove.
• A letter to my dead girlfriend. :’[
• AFI’s 100 best heroes and villains are even more fun when you imagine a hero in a movie with the villain of the same ranking. The best is Lassie vs Cruella de Vil.
• Smart Pretty and Awkward is one of my favourite blogs. There are always brilliant seeds that make me really think. Like this: Imagine writing down every single idea you had for a whole day, or even a week, including all the “bad” ideas. You’d have so many things to run with!
• What’s better than Ron Fucking Swanson? Cookies.

Two lesbians raised a baby and this is what they got.

They don’t tell you in the diet books that this food plan might make you SHIT YOUR PANTS!

I have zero clues about anything to do with make up…but this looks totally doable. Now where does one actually buy the tools for this trick? And how do I remind myself that I shouldn’t rub my eyes with my fists?

Klara Harden hiked over Iceland by herself for 25 days. This mini doco is beautiful and made me start looking at flight prices immediately (again). Her FAQ on the MADE IN ICELAND doco is an inspiring short read as well.

This little girl will change the world

Do you guys watch Community? The christmas episode was one of the best things I’ve ever seen. We are all still singing the songs from it over a month later.

With that in mind I signed up for The Reinvention Project some time last year. It was scheduled for a time far enough in the future that all I had to do was enter my email address and not think about it till after the holidays. But now the time has come and I’m not entirely sure what to expect.

There’s not a single one thing I want to fix in my life, I’d like more focus, more determination, more self belief, and less lazy. I’d like to stop falling back on unfulfilling work in offices I don’t care about and actually try. I want to stop being scared.

I’ve signed up for a number of different plans like this, but not ever one that emails you every weekday. It’s unfortunate but I really do need to be told every day what I need to be doing to help myself. Big picture goals don’t help me. I need solid deadlines, broken down tasks, something specific to work towards. I’ve written so many times on this blog about my latest ‘this is it’ moment. While those moments are rarely it in the way I’d like them to be, every it brings me closer to the person I want to be. All the little steps and changes add up and it’s only by looking back to the person I was a years ago that I can see the changes.

The first interview and assignment for my 30 day reinvention was sent through today. With it I determined the areas of my life that need the most work, and the areas of my life I’m most happy with.

The word holding it all together is confidence. I’ll gain confidence by learning new things, seeing myself with the same eyes I see others, looking after my health, and creating a working environment that is clean and spacious. I’ll get a career, or at least a job I’m invested in, when I have the confidence. It’s an odd and cruel thing that I had more confidence and found it easier to gun for opportunities when I was younger and inexperienced. I thought I knew more 7 years ago. I’ve regressed and become the scared 8 year old that didn’t want to go to school because she wasn’t THE BEST in her class at times tables.

We’re getting down to the wire with LESS THAN A WEEK TILL XMAS. But there is so much we can offer just by being there. Yes that sounds incredibly cheesy, but it’s also true facts. So if you still haven’t figured out what to give, why not use your biggest commodity. You.

Here are some ways to spend your time doing something useful:

* babysit * clean * house sit * take care of animals * send a blogger some guest posts to give them a break * be a chauffeur * garden * sew * give massages * give a lesson on that annoying computer related thing your family keeps asking you to do *

If you really must give something physical then feel free to make up and print some redeemable vouchers.

And if you really must spend money then pay for some of these. There are plenty of talented individuals out there ready to help. At a pinch you can pay for these last minute gifts as well:

* blog hosting * domain names * the power/phone/gas bill * phone apps *

Extras for experts: A plain silver or gold chain is perfect even for people that like wearing colourful pendants and plastic charms. Reuse that “VHS your Aunt sent you” and share one of your favourite TV shows or movies. Be romantic and give someone your favourite book.

It was pretty obvious it was my first time unfortunately. I’ve not yet mastered the roofing weight limits or the decorative sugar cement placement. I did however create a gummy bear fire pit scene. (The fire was a jaffa!)

The real masterpieces came from Brend’s sisters (and boyfriend) with decorative shutters, flake gravel roads, chocolate button tiles, and jaffa baring apple trees. There was even a chocolate car!

Brend’s house was less ‘perfectly pretty’ and more ‘all the colours & all the candy’. Closer to what our real lives are like instead of the lives in magazines.

We elected to keep our gingerbread house at Brend’s parent’s until xmas. Lest I start trying to sneak the bits no one will notice till the house is bare and crumbling.

If you’re good with a camera offer your photography skills and take some family photos that aren’t staged in a boring studio; make a scrap book of you with your person; blow up your favourite image onto a canvas.

If you’re an artist create a masterpiece featuring your person’s fur babies or copy a favourite photo of your coupled friends onto beautiful paper.

If you know an artist or photographer you could buy them tools of their trade, or better yet, buy them vouchers from their favourite art supplier so they can choose exactly what they want. Or pay for a year of their flickr subscription.

Even if you think you have no artistic talent you can give the gift of art. Just take a quick peek at Etsy and you will find over a million pieces! If your friend is an artist then get a frame made for one of their works. If it’s a teen in love with their reflection print photos from their facebook page for their bedroom wall. If you’re an instagram addict head over to printstagram and get a poster, or mini prints made. If it’s an animal lover needing some love surprise them with a full wall of kitten printed using rasterbator.

Everyone loves food. Delicious home cooked food is even better. Delicious home cooked food that mixes in all the best ingredients – best ever!

A pretty parcel of salted caramel cookies tied with a bow. Chocolate mixed with berries and chilli set into the shape of unicorns. Pint sized rainbow cakes in mason jars (if you do it right they will keep unopened for AGES so you can make them well in advance). Mini pulled pork or bacon and egg pies. Olive and rosemary bread. Jars of bacon infused whisky. The possibilities are endless and interesting.

However.

You could go one better for your people that love to cook.

Instead of making them something how about giving them the recipe and ingredients. Hand craft a fancy recipe card from card stock, doilies, and fat felt pens – you could even laminate it so the butter and flour wipes right off.
If it’s cookies or cake you could layer the dry ingredients in a jar. All they need to do is tip it into a bowl and add eggs and butter.

If you’re super amazing (and have lots of time) think about making a collection of your favourite recipes.

If you’re like me you’ve got recipes bookmarked all over the internet, post its in your cookbooks to mark pages, and print outs that people have emailed you. Type them up, scan them, or work on writing them out over the course of a year. Print them in a book. Stick them on themed recipe cards and present in a wooden box. Hand out card stock to everyone and get them to write up their favourites.

If you go the recipe card in a box option make sure you include a few blanks for them to fill in later. Note the size of them down for yourself and you’ve got xmas and birthdays sorted forever!

Boom.

This year I’ve got a whole lot more ideas that I would be really stoked to receive. Many of them won’t cost a thing. Others will have a small but worthwhile cost. The physical things on these lists can easily be bought second hand, some can be created from your own hands. Some only require your presence.

We’ve all gotten lost so far down the rabbit hole that we don’t even realise we’ve turned into capitalist consumerist whores. He who dies with the most toys wins and all that rubbish. We all need new clothes, and new computers when our current ones die. This is modern life after all and a computer is an integral part of living in the modern Western World. But spare a thought for those 200,000 Kiwi kids in poverty when you’re debating whether to get the $800 leather bag or the $200 leather bag.

So without further ado – here’s the first in my list of awesome shit that you should think about gifting to the people you love:

Mixtapes

You thought these went out around the same time tapes did didn’t you? Well you thought wrong. Mixtapes are still one of the ultimate romantic gifts. And even if you don’t have much of a clue about the music your giftee will like it’s really the thought that counts here.

Make a playlist for a specific mood: your favourite songs for getting ready to go out, the best to cook to, a chilled out selection to have on in the background when there are people over, power ballads that everyone loves to sing at the top of their lungs.

Find all the rare b sides and live bootlegs from your giftee’s favourite band and burn them to disk with some homemade cover art.

Or the ultimate in selfish gifting (other than the old classic power tool gift that you really want for yourself) spend an afternoon (or a lifetime) cultivating your favourite songs of ALL TIME and put them on a flash drive. Your recipient might be exposed to some new music they love just as much as you do, and if nothing else they’ll have music to put on when you’re hanging together.

If all of my friends sent me 10 of their favourite songs I would get some much needed exposure to new music and I’d finally be able to offer up my iPod for the stereo when there are people at our house! Apparently I’m the only one who chooses to fill the majority of their soundscape with Finnish metal and sex addicted pop rockers.