Curious Goldie's Suburban Adventures

New Neighbors

2011-04-26T21:54:00.004-04:00

Every day for the last seven days, it rained. Every day for the next seven days, it's going to rain. Today is sunny and 80. So ChinchillaBoy and I decided to walk our doggy Sparky today.

It is early evening. We walk up and down our new street, talking about our day. I say "our new street" because we just moved here less than a year ago. It is a small dead-end street filled with small, old houses. We only know a handful of people here so far. This is different from our old street, where everyone was always outside, working in their gardens, or taking a stroll down the street in the evening. I knew everybody and everybody knew me. I miss that. This new street is always empty. No one walks their dogs and no one cares about their garden enough to actually work in it. Three of the houses are up for sale.

As ChinchillaBoy and I walk briskly down our street, we hear someone calling from a house we just passed. Finally, a neighbor talking to us, about time!

The man opens his front door to yell, "Come pick up your dog's shit!", slams the door, and disappears inside his house.

We're puzzled. We walked past that house so fast, Sparky couldn't have even gone #1. Still, the neighbor sounded angry enough, and I don't have a man to defend me anymore. I don't want any trouble. So we come back. I pull a grocery bag out of my pocket, bend over, and pick up some random dog's poop. We toss the bag into a garbage bin on the street corner, and continue walking. But it no longer feels the same. The mood is gone. We go back home.

The "Oh Shit I'm Outta Here" Moment

2011-03-15T19:53:00.002-04:00

We've all had those. You know, when something happens at your work or in your group of friends, and all of a sudden you realize how easily you could walk out of this job, out of this group of friends, and never see these people again?

Sometimes, though, it creeps up on you, rather than strike you like a lightning. Like I used to hang out with this group of people for ten years. A year ago, a few of us got together at a bar to celebrate one of the girls' birthday. It was right after I separated from Mr. Goldie. Everyone in the group was totally accepting of me. They were even giving me dating advice. So, we're all talking, beer is flowing, when one of the guys says to me:

"There's just one thing you need to know - if you go out with a black guy - that's it for you. No white guy will want you after that."

Being a programmer, I was curious about the logistic of it all:

"How're they going to find out?"

He looked at me earnestly. "News travel fast."

I'm standing there, still trying to process what I just heard - is it still the twenty-first century or have I somehow hopped into a time machine and caught a ride back? - when my friend offers these parting words:

"Don't you worry. There are plenty of white guys that are hung, too."

By then, it was midnight, and I had to work the next day, so I left. I don't remember thinking anything pompous on the way home, like "I will never associate with these people again, I swear!" But somehow, I cannot bring myself to go out with that group again. I've tried a few times, and I just can't. I've given up trying. Good-bye, group.

Or take my church. Thirteen years I was a member of this church.

Then, as I wrote a few posts ago (which was actually also two years ago), my younger son and I went to see Jesus Christ Superstar. We bought tickets through my son's eighth-grade Sunday School class, so we sat with like forty people from our church. Two rows full of my fellow church members, the priest and his wife in the center, parish council members next to them, and so on and so forth, all the way down to ChinchillaBoy and myself sitting next to the aisle.

By that time, ChinchillaBoy had proclaimed himself an atheist and stopped going, but I was on the fence still. I would say to myself, I've been in this church for so long. My kids grew up here. I have friends here. A social life. How can I walk out on all this? But back to the show. So we're sitting there watching Jesus Christ Superstar, and the kid who played Judas was absolutely amazing. I mean, really it was a young kid, a short scrawny young guy, and he was an absolute genius. The singing, the acting, he was excellent in every way. His name's James DeLisco. So, finally, the show ends and it's the curtain call.

James DeLisco comes out and the audience goes totally batshit. He gets a standing ovation. Except in our two rows, everyone's sitting.

I look at my fellow Sunday School teachers and I see something odd. They're doing like these little motions with their butts. They're lifting their butts an inch or two out of their chairs, then bringing them down again. What the hell? And then I realize. They want to give James a standing ovation, too, but they're afraid to stand up in front of the priest and parish council, because it's Judas.

You don't stand up for Judas.

So of course, I stood up. So did ChinchillaBoy. And, two minutes later, so did half the people in my row.

After that, I had no problem leaving this church. I cannot explain to you exactly why, but I suddenly no longer cared if I'd see those people ever again, or not.

I'd like to close with a profound bit of wisdom, but I don't have any. You can youtube Delisco or something, if you'd like.

Oh No, They Killed Doggy! You Bastards

2011-02-20T17:30:00.005-05:00

This kills me. Every book I've read lately, to prove his deep, philosophical point, the author has to kill a dog. I've been reading Slaughterhouse Five today, great book, but then what does Vonnegut do? He kills, not one, but two dogs. Terrible.

The guy I dated last summer, gave me a copy of his favorite book. It's called A Straight Man, it's rated 4.5 on Amazon, and it's boring as hell. Feel free to skip the rest of this paragraph, as it contains spoilers. The book's characters all work in the English department of a low-rating university. Throughout the book, they all worry about the upcoming layoffs, which, in the end, do not happen. Also throughout the book, the main character cannot take a piss, which, by the end, he does. What a page-turner.

So what does the author do to kick the action up a notch? He kills a dog. A lovable, goofy, trusting canine. My favorite character in that whole book, by the way.

I swear to God, one day, I'll be a published writer and I will write a book where no dogs die. The hump, they frolick, they chew on random household objects, and they all manage to remain alive. Or else, what a novel idea, there won't be any dogs in the book, so, none will die. Because I'll be so famous by then, the book will come out, in spite of it violating an honored literary tradition. People will read it and they will be all like, Hey! How come no dogs are dead? What a letdown. I want my money back! And I will be all, Go fuck yourselves. And, while you're doing it, may a rabid dog bite each one of you where it hurts the most.

Seriously, at the rate fictional dogs are dying, they'll be an endangered species soon enough. There have to be better ways to make a point.

Random notes

2011-02-14T19:30:00.003-05:00

In our writing class they say: "write about something you know, something that really happened to you". But none of this happened to me. It just occurred outside of myself somewhere as I watched, amused. So I shouldn't probably submit this story to my writing class.

It all started in a Thai restaurant. I was on a date. The place was on this street that's great for people-watching, if you get a table by the window. We got a table in a corner by some giant plant. So I sipped my white wine and stared at the plant, while my date looked at me.

"I find it extraordinary," he said, "the way, when you and I sit across the table like this, sparks fly!" And he poured himself another glass of white.

I looked around the room and thought about my dog Sparky. We did call him Sparks at home. What if he really could fly? He'd probably have this look on his face that is a mixture of extreme surprise, fear and excitement. Where would Sparky fly to? As he sits in our yard and stares at the sky, what places does he dream of? Where does he want to go?

"Love that smile on your face," said my date.

Which brought me to the matter at hand. Today, I wanted to tell him that it was over. It was not working at all. I'd been planning to do this for a while, but didn't know how to say it to him. He looked so happy right now, like a flying dog.

He poured himself another glass.

More Romantic Poetry

2011-02-06T18:15:00.001-05:00

Long story behind this one.

One time on a hike, I sat down and I heard,
A moth and a flower were having a word.
The moth said, "I'm not that attracted, you see,
You're just another blue flower to me.
I was flying through the woods, I was hungry and beat.
You looked like a good place to rest and to eat.
You know the red rose? That's where I'd rather be,
But she's too selective, she'll never have me.
So let's keep it simple, and let's keep it plain -
I eat here, I rest here, I eat here again.
It's easy and perfect, so why complicate?
Open up, by the way. It's about time I ate."

The flower just stood there, not making a sound.
A few of its petals fell down to the ground.
I got up and went back home to my family.
They're just some kids and a dog, but they care about me.

Poetry: Winter

2011-02-03T21:27:00.002-05:00

I wrote this in late 2009 when I was contemplating leaving Mr. Goldie.

----

He dims the lights, he spreads the snow,
He sets the thermostat to low
I shudder when he takes my hand
I dream of ocean, sun and sand.

How summer loved me once before!
But he's not coming anymore.
With winter now my days I spend
And, though they're short, they never end.

My winter tries to win my love
By darkening the skies above
He paves my yard with solid ice
But I avoid his grey, pale eyes

The snow is high, I cannot walk
The roads are bad, I cannot drive
With winter I will spend my days
Until I'm not alive.

I Cannot Believe This Thing Still Works

2011-02-02T20:23:00.003-05:00

I stopped writing two years ago for a variety of reasons. Mostly, too many people IRL knew about this blog. When I realized I was getting three hits a day from Mr.Goldie's best friend's wife, I quit posting. Thing is, I had too much crap going on to share it freely with my real-life friends and colleagues.

I'm pretty anonymous now, as far as I can tell.

No one will probably read this, but so what.

I won't be moving to Wordpress, because I can't afford to pay for this thing. Ever since Mr. Goldie and I went our separate ways a year ago, I've been on a budget.

Being on a budget is not as bad as it sounds. That's how most of this country lives.

The kids and I lived in an apartment for a while. I liked it; they didn't. After I failed at getting my apartment management to allow Sparky to live with us, I bought a house. The downpayment ate all my savings, but it's totally worth it. My monthly payments are in fact the same amount as my rent used to be. It's a tiny, cheap house. It's perfect for our small family.

I have pretty colorful neighbors on my one side. The neighbors on my other side are selling. They got old and had to move in with their kids, as they cannot live on their own anymore.

A few more things happened over these two years. I left church; I went to the 2009 Mensa AG and loved it - will be going again this year; LilProgrammer is going to college this fall and is getting a shitload of merit awards! Full tuition and a small part of room and board. How bout that?

I took an online writing class and graduated with a recommendation for an advanced course. Still saving up for it. Nothing published yet, though.

I have very cool kids. I'm not going to be writing a whole lot about them, but they're pretty awesome.

I will post pictures if I ever find my flickr pasword.

It's That Time Of Month.

2009-03-10T16:14:00.002-04:00

To update this blog, that is.

My bloggy friends, BTW, are clearing out like it's the Titanic, and they don't want to be around when Leo DeCaprio is the only one left with a blog. A few of them turned up on Facebook, so yay.

I wanted to say something witty and profound, but it's all been done. Even the big-name bloggers that I've been following, have started repeating themselves. You know it's gotten really bad when V regurgitates her posts of old.

Internet Monk is about the only one that still updates with original material, and has cool discussions going on in his comments. I should read him more. He's a good source, whether I agree with him or not. Speaking of spiritual journeys, this man seems to be what I've been looking for lately, so I'm going to read more of his work and see if it answers any of the questions I've had for the last couple of years.

New South Park starts tomorrow. Don't forget to leave your TV on after it ends, to see Important Things With Demetri Martin. This guy seriously rocks. All right, what else?

We went on vacation:

We went to another dogpark, and this time our visit was hump-free:

I haz motivational posters!

CB and I went to see Jesus Christ Superstar live. You need to write down this name, boys and girls. James Delisco. This guy is amazing! Ted N_e_e_l_e_y, on the other hand, was a bit of a letdown. Maybe he needs to retire?

The funny spelling of the name Ted N_e_e_l_e_y, by the way, is due to the fact that famous dudes have a habit of googling their name, finding this blog, and emailing me about it. This has already happened a few times, so I'm not taking anymore chances with Mr. N_e_e_l_e_y.

We got a letter from LP's school, thanking us for his good grades. The letter was customized with LP's name but not gender, like this: "Your son/daughter Bill has received straight As two quarters in a row". Needless to say "son/daughter" is now LP's nickname. Seriously though, I'm so proud of him! He is a good son/daughter!!

These are all the updates I have. See ya!

Unwelcome Advances, Hostile Environment

2009-02-05T12:19:00.009-05:00

Last weekend, CB and I took our dog to a local off-leash park. Because it was freezing cold, only two other dogs were there. One, a black lab, took a liking to our Sparky. First he licked him all over.

Then the usual routine started.

I wasn't surprised. Sparky gets humped a lot by other dogs. He's a quiet, shy, submissive guy. Normally he'd slide out from under the dog and walk away smiling. He tried that, but the lab kept following him and starting over. This bothered me because the lab was twice Sparky's weight. It also bothered the lab's owner, possibly because he was there with his six-year-old daughter.

We tried everything. We took turns pulling the lab off Sparky. The owner talked to the lab. I talked to the lab. Nothing worked. The lab was hellbent on world domination, starting with my dog. Today, Sparky, tomorrow, the universe!

I was mid-sentence, explaining to the lab's owner that I really, honestly did not mind, when it happened.

Our harmless little Spoopy turned to the lab, bared his fangs, and barked at him in a most vicious way. The lab backed up, but Sparky kept barking.

He looked scary. Normally he looks like a stuffed toy.

Not like this.

I moved to stop Sparky, but the lab owner dude told me it was okay, and "actually a good thing". Maybe their whole family was getting tired of Sir Hump-A-Lot, and thought it was time somebody taught him a lesson. Don't know what the deal is, because the guy, the kid and the lab left soon after that.

Apparently Sparky also chased the lab around the park. I didn't see it happen, as I was busy watching my dog, ready to break up the fight if needed. (How I intended to break up a dog fight, I don't really know.) CB told me about it later. Next thing I saw, both dogs were standing peacefully side by side. Then Sparky saw a Maltese and ran off to play with her.

CB beamed proudly.

"You stood for yourself, Sparky! To a large dog! Our Sparky became a man today," he said.

For fifteen minutes or so, I beamed quite happily myself. Then the usual reaction set in.

Can you guess?

I feel guilty because my dog yelled at another one. Never mind that the other dog started it, or that he was twice as big. I spent most of this week feeling terrible because of the supposedly offended lab owner, then kicking myself in the head for it, then feeling terrible again.

I am very strange. I'd seriously let a random canine hump my dog to avoid conflict.

This explains a lot of my past. For example, this.

Musical Hump Day

2009-02-04T07:00:00.002-05:00

I chose a sad song today, because I'm feeling kind of sad and stressed out. Good news, though? Vacation in ten days!

Also, CB's middle school won a "cool school" prize or something from FOX, so tonight, each student gets a Chick-Fil-A sandwich and each student's family gets a 15% discount. If this blog isn't updated anymore, that means I died from Chick-Fil-A poisoning. I've never tried that stuff. I checked their nutrition info and grilled chicken sandwich looks decent, so I'll give it a shot.

But I digress.

Thought Of The Day

2009-02-03T13:04:00.001-05:00

This is my history, and it's repeating itself one minute at a time.

Why? Because I don't learn.

Cute dawggy post coming up in the next few days, stay tuned.

You Forgot "Hep Cat"

2009-01-31T21:38:00.005-05:00

So, I'm getting this magazine called "Your Teen: for Parents". Not sure how it ends up in my mailbox, but since it's free, I'll take it. The last issue had this helpful article:

"Have you ever found yourself staring at your teenagers in complete wonder - hearing words come from their mouth but having no idea what they are saying? We break down the jargon to help you better understand your teenagers.

Makin' game: Flirting with a girl..."

Makin' what? I called CB over and handed him the mag.

"See this list, CB?" I said. "Can you look it over and tell me which words on this list are really teenage slang and which are not."

CB grabbed a pen and went to work.

Five minutes later, 18 words out of 20 were crossed out.

"What does crossed out mean, CB?"

"These are either old or I've never heard of them," CB told me.

Here are the only two CB approved:

Emo
apparently emos are alive and well, happily cutting themselves, so the term is still widely used.

I'd tap that
"Though usually we just say 'I'd fuck her'", my helpful kid explained.

Here are the eighteen that did not make CB's list. Being the anal mother that I am, I looked each one up on Urban Dictionary.

Makin' game
CB never heard of it. Neither did UD.

That's clutch
Again, not in UD. Supposed to mean "that's cool". NOT.

What's crackin'?
supposed to be the new "how're they hangin'?"
UD has one entry on this, but in CB's defense, it's four years old.

Mackin' on
CB has never heard of it or used it, yet it is listed in UD as "Attempt at securing further sexual relations with a female". Wow, I've been macked on so many times and didn't know it. Or mackered on. Whatever.

I'm throwin' down
"I'm having a party" is how Your Teen magazine defines it. According to UD, though, it means "The act of expelling waste similar in color and consistency to vomit, though expelled through the rectum rather than the mouth. It may be accompanied by sounds similar to those made while vomiting as well. See ass vomit." Wow, that's some party.

Looking fly/fresh
2009 teen slang? You've got to be kidding me, Will Smith!

Peace out
CB laffed at it, but look at this:
Term used to encourage military members to become conscienous objectors "peace" and get "out" of the military. Started during the Viet Nam War by "Peaceniks" and hippies. Turned into a term for saying goodbye, used primarily within ethnic groups. Has been receiving renew popularity because of the U.S.s involvement in yet another unpopular war.
Hey... sounds cool! (Fresh?)

Are you going to roll up?
No, Your Teen, this does not mean "are you going somewhere?" Look it up, sheesh. Anyhoo, if you are going to roll up, pass it around, dude.

The rest of the list is pretty much the same - tired, 90s slang:

Player
Skank
Blazed
Kicks
Keep it on the down low
Hooked up
Friends with benefits
I'm down
She's a dime piece
Sketchy

This is all the teen slang CB and I have for you tonight. Peace out.

How To Kill Your Blog In Five Minutes

2009-01-31T21:30:00.002-05:00

In a moment of vanity, I outed this blog to my coworkers.

But that's okay, because my RL friends already had the URL anyway.

I honestly don't know what to write here anymore. Whenever I can think of something clean, I'll be sure to post it. I have a few ideas right now. I will definitely continue the Musical Hump Days. I'll probably update Graphomania eventually. I'm still taking the class, and stuff is happening.

I'm going to leave the site up no matter who knows about it, because IMO the Aspie Digest is too valuable to take down. I've used it a few times as a reference myself. I don't add to it anymore, because LP is no longer the flaming Aspie he used to be. He's making friends and getting good grades. He also cooks, does home repairs, mows the lawn in summer and shovels the driveway in winter. No, you can't have him.

Blogs as a whole are already over with, so who cares?

I will talk to you whenever.

Snowy Musical Hump Day

2009-01-28T07:52:00.002-05:00

It's snowing here. Again. Schools are closed; Mr. Goldie's work has a two hour delay. I'm the only one that has to leave now. LP shoveled our driveway an hour ago, but you cannot tell that already. Wish me luck.

Here with a true observation on life, one of my all-time favorites. Tell me, is it wrong to have a crush on a guy that's been dead for 40 years?

Bonus song about snow. Now, this is the white stuff that should be illegal.

Fun With Ethnicities

2009-01-25T23:13:00.003-05:00

Because I know someone will click over from PAN, after my comments there tonight, let me tell you a story.

One time at day camp, a kid told my son ChinchillaBoy (then 11-year-old): "All Russians are stupid".

CB inquired, "Do you want to insult my heritage after camp?" hinting at the fact that, in camp, no fighting was allowed.

CB packs a mean punch, so the kid backed off.

This was two years ago. CB is much stronger now. Don't make me call him over. Okay?

Also, do unto others as you would them do unto you. This means, don't say things to other people that would piss you off if applied to your precious self.

This is my sermon for today. I'm out.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

2009-01-25T20:11:00.002-05:00

It's 20 degrees outside, and has been for the last month. Except for that one week when temperatures were in the single digits.

Sidewalks are covered with snow, and the road with salt. Yesterday CB tried taking the dog for a walk down the street and back. They had to walk in the middle of the road. The dog came back all covered in salt and sleet, from his long Sheltie hair sweeping the ground.

I feel trapped in my own house. At least it's a nice house, with cool and awesome people living in it. Still, I'm bored. Where's spring when you need it?

Pro-lifish.

2009-01-24T15:55:00.005-05:00

I have been reading a lot of Internet Monk lately. Open-minded, thought-provoking, and highly recommended reading, regardless of what your views are.

This post and the comments, however, gave me pause, specifically in this part:

"This Catholic apologist felt that Protestants are mistaken to say they can prove their pro-life position solely from reading the Bible.
...
Catholic doctrine and ethical teaching comes out of the Catholic view of authority: scripture, tradition and magisterium. All work together to arrive at the conclusion."

And later in the comments:

"I know of no denomination that is pro-abortion for example. Whether by scripture or tradition, we agree on life."

"there isn’t an open and shut case against abortion derived solely from the pages of Scripture. However, when you consider that Christian tradition has always been firmly against it, the case becomes stronger."

etc etc.

Which, to me, says that the pro-life movement has no scientific proof that life begins at conception. This belief appears to be based on faith and faith alone. This actually came as a surprise to me. Having interacted with the pro-life movement since the late 80s, from their sheer confidence I was sure they had volumes of medical evidence to back their claims. Turns out, they do not?

Which leads me to the question, if this is a matter of personal faith, then what the hell are they doing trying to make it a criminal offense, punishable by law?

How is this different from turning any other staple of any other religion into a criminal offense?

How'd you like to go to jail for not praying towards Mecca five times a day? to be fined for eating pork? Sheesh. Keep your faith to yourself.

I turned away from the pro-life movement in the early 2000's, right after I realized that it has an action plan. And that, on that action plan, outlawing birth control comes right after overturning Roe v. Wade. I cannot handle more than two kids, so I was like, oh fuck no. I'm outta here. I'm too partial to my IUD.

The post and comments on IM are a huge step towards validating my decision in my eyes. I hadn't realized how right I was.

Church and state, these two don't mix.

PS: This was the news story that made me drop the pro-life movement like it was going out of style. Thanks, Neil Noesen, you were a huge help.

PPS: Why am I even writing about this? Normally I wouldn't touch this subject with a ten-meter pole. Guess I had to post the link because I was impressed by the pro-life folks themselves basically admitting they don't have a case. Wow.

Professional Musical Hump Day

2009-01-21T08:18:00.000-05:00

Dang, I've got to rent this movie.

Dog Blog

2009-01-19T09:39:00.007-05:00

Since you cannot make me go outside in this weather, I've been using my dog lately to find out what it's like outside. Here's how it works. You let your dog out for a few minutes and then observe him closely when he comes back in.

Dog is wet - it's raining

Dog is covered in snow - it's snowing

You cannot let dog out, because door won't open - over 20 inches of snow

You let dog out and he doesn't come back - minus 30 degrees or lower. Dog froze to the ground.

Dog smells bad - the snow has melted away completely

Dog yelps when you let him out - hail

Dog disappears - tornado

*** *** ***

For the last two weekends, we've been trying to take the dog to a new dog park. So far no luck. It has become a personal challenge for me, so I'll keep trying. I will keep you updated. Here's our progress so far.

Week 1 - 10 inches of snow, trip canceled.

Week 2 - light snow and 10 degree temperature. CB and I dress in layers and head out. GPS doesn't recognize dog park address as valid location, but agrees to take us to a nearby street. GPS takes us to the wrong exit and down random side streets. We magically end up in front of a bar where I met with friends three weeks ago. Walk dog around the parking lot. Realize it's freezing cold. Head back. Dog inexplicably happy.

Maybe the park doesn't exist. We'll keep trying. We will find it eventually, and it better not suck.
In other news, the Goldie household was without water for 18 hours this weekend because a pipe burst. I hadn't realize how much I love water. One of the rare weekends when I actually looked forward to coming back to work. Ugh. Happy Monday!

Here's a random picture for your enjoyment. House FTW.

Uplifting Musical Hump Day

2009-01-06T21:41:00.002-05:00

Are you having a crappy week? I am.

Have you tried drinking? I have. It didn't work.

Well, we've gotta do something! 'Cuz when we worry, our faces'll frown, and that'll bring everybody down... Am I right??

So... here we go. If this doesn't put us in a good mood... nothing will.

"But Goldie, it isn't hump day yet!" you say. "It is still Tuesday!" Let me tell you this, smartass. Do you trust me to remember to post a song tomorrow? Do you?? Good, neither do I.

It's Not A Real New Year's Celebration Unless Someone Gets Stitches

2009-01-01T14:36:00.004-05:00

Also, a tetanus shot. I also apparently have a permanent loss of sensation in the tip of my index finger. My knife slipped when I was doing some last-minute cooking last night.

This is actually a family tradition. Many years ago, when I was still dating Mr.Goldie, he came down to visit me one January with a scar that went all around his wrist, that he had got on New Year's Eve.

We still went to the party and had a great time, because that's how we roll.

HNY!

2008's Last Musical Hump Day

2008-12-31T07:40:00.001-05:00

ABBA, natch.

May 2009 treat you better than 2008 treated the Goldie family. Best wishes to you all!

I'll Buy If They're Purebred

2008-12-29T21:56:00.002-05:00

Courtesy of our local Russian store. Name and address edited out, so I can still shop there after I post this.

What are "puppy seeds" anyway? We're thinking dog sperm. Yum?

Brain

2008-12-29T11:57:00.006-05:00

I spent three summers at math camp as a teen; I got my degree from one of the strongest schools in the home country; I've been working in IT all my life. So it shouldn't come as a surprise when I say I've been surrounded by people of above-average intelligence for, well, as long as I remember. I never gave it much thought until last year or so. Last year, through a social networking site, I found many people I went to math camp/college with. Seeing what my classmates did with their lives so far was a tad of a wake-up call.

Take my math camp. Everyone I've talked to has been doing well for themselves. Nice careers, research work, teaching at universities etc. Two guys from our camp made it big. One manages power plants across Russia. The other one is a successful play director at an up & coming theater in Moscow. I barely remember the scrawny, dorky kid from my '83 camp. Now he's a celebrity. That shook me up pretty bad. When I tell people about it, they think I'm upset because these two have the fame and money, and I don't. It's not that. When I look at my classmates, the question I ask myself is, We all started out as, for lack of a better word, gifted kids. They made their gifts work, so now they're happy and satisfied, because their talents did not go to waste. What about me? It's like that parable of the talents. "Where's the talent I gave you, Goldie?" - "Oh shit, what'd I do with it? Wait a sec, lemme look, I'm sure I had it here somewhere. Nope, can't find it. The dog must've dragged it off. Shit, sorry."

That's what my writing class is all about, finally pulling my head out of my ass and putting my abilities to work. We'll see how it works out, or what else I can come up with. At any rate, a large part of my life has already been flushed down the drain.

Then I remember that, back at math camp, I wasn't considered that good, average in fact, and that the first two years of college were an uphill struggle. This makes me feel better. Maybe I didn't have that much, after all. Maybe the loss is not that big.

If you're reading this and you do have a brain, I urge you - use it. Don't let it lay around and gather dust. If you do, you will regret it when you're my age. This goes especially for you, LP, and you, CB. You heard me. Now go do your homework.

Professional Conduct

2008-12-28T10:57:00.002-05:00

After almost twenty years in the workplace, I think of myself as having one. But I just googled it, and turns out I don't know what it really means. The Intraweb has different definitions for different professions. So now I'm curious, what does it mean for you? In my position, I see it as not letting your personal likes or dislikes interfere with your work. You may hate your coworker's guts, or you may want to make out with them ten different ways - none of this should be relevant when you're working on something together. You have to act completely indifferent, treat them like you would any other person, and concentrate on the work at hand. Otherwise, nothing gets done. That's my definition. Ya think it's accurate? complete? Is it missing anything?

CB just walked in and shared a definition of his own: "Professional conduct means you have no fun or social life at your work". I pity CB when he enters the work world.

What's yours? Share!